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Chunderbucket posted:Warehouse contracts own, I had to sign a form affirming loyalty to the queen to move beer in a warehouse one summer If I ever start my own company and hire people, I'm stealing this idea. Only I'll make it about the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism or something. Or just goatse.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:07
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BonHair posted:If I ever start my own company and hire people, I'm stealing this idea. Only I'll make it about the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism or something. Or just goatse. Make a rule that everyone must spank the goatse mans' photo on the way out of the break room.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:09
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Chunderbucket posted:Warehouse contracts own, I had to sign a form affirming loyalty to the queen to move beer in a warehouse one summer The Queen of...Beer?
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Mar 22, 2021 20:13
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Gorson posted:The worst part of all of this is it's a medium sized company but they insist on implementing Six Sigma and all sorts of other initiatives that make every day business very difficult and grind production to a halt. If a manager or project manager gets involved in what you're working in watch out. They meddle to justify their jobs, and it blows everything up. Ah, there's the problem. When you get a job that it doesn't matter if it gets done or not, then you should kick back and relax rather than gumming up the work so you can appear to be working.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:14
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PostNouveau posted:Ah, there's the problem. When you get a job that it doesn't matter if it gets done or not, then you should kick back and relax rather than gumming up the work so you can appear to be working. Did I mention they loooooove time tracking? Every minute must be accounted for 
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Mar 22, 2021 20:17
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:Make a rule that everyone must spank the goatse mans' photo on the way out of the break room. Cut a hole in the center of the picture and determine promotions by seeing how many golf balls they can throw through it in a 30 seconds.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:28
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Gorson posted:Did I mention they loooooove time tracking? Every minute must be accounted for Have you considered ...dishonesty? I'm pretty honest about being early or working late and even thinking about work in my free time, and that shows on my time sheet. But that 2 hour walk and talk with a colleague where we barely mentioned work? That's work time. And I accidentally forgot that I was late today, oops. No such thing as a free lunch? Watch me!
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Mar 22, 2021 20:29
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Six Sigma is a tool of the devil perpetuated by another tool of the devil, MBAs.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:33
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Martial Arts belt system for bean counting the most amount of profit squeezed from your employer force is the lamest poo poo I ever learned about
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Mar 22, 2021 20:34
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:Canadian warehouses are probably nicer than american ones. Too bad warehouse worker isn't something I can migrate there on. It's like when someone found invision free message boards and made subforum after subforum for every possible category of subject, for him and his two friends.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:38
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Breakfast All Day posted:besides the obvious "how is that different than being a landlord" response lol yeah: Small landlords need government support | More must be done to ease affordable housing providers’ financial burden lol "affordable housing providers" wont u think of are mom and pop landlords!!! also some landlords are minorities so if u hate landlords ur racist!! dumb news article posted:She found that small landlords consistently charge below market rents. Brown applauded Wong’s terminology of “housing provider,” but remarked that she prefers the term “affordable housing providers.” Actually, they rent their units out below market rate, because its the loving law to do that for any building built before 1979 (AKA most buildings in SF), which they would have known when they bought the buildings, unless they've owned them for 40+ years. They don't do it out of the goodness of their hearts lmao 
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Mar 22, 2021 20:47
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They're acting like Below Market Rate means At A Loss which gently caress you basically I'm so sick of the GROWTH poo poo business schools push now and how it's crept into everyone's minds. Used to be that stocks like Coca Cola or IBM or whatever were touted as good investments because they were STABLE. Slow and steady overall growth. Now the owner of my little 8 employee small business thinks that we should have 300% year over year growth every year literally forever because he watched Fox Business and went to a seminar at the SBA or whatever
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Mar 22, 2021 20:52
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BonHair posted:Have you considered ...dishonesty? Yup I lie like crazy on the time entries but it's a time consuming and tedious process. The irony is lost on corporations.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:52
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Gorson posted:Yup I lie like crazy on the time entries but it's a time consuming and tedious process. The irony is lost on corporations. The worst I ever had was medicaid reporting. Work for a non profit and want to help people? Spend half your time on a creative writing exercise for your billable hours so your underfunded org can stay afloat. And the billing process isn't billable!
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Mar 22, 2021 20:54
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i used to include a line item in monthly deliverable reporting for how many emails i'd had to answer during the month. sometimes people are astonished that they sent 80 emails that we had to address yet couldn't get any work done
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Mar 22, 2021 20:55
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skooma512 posted:It's like when someone found invision free message boards and made subforum after subforum for every possible category of subject, for him and his two friends. half the people reading this and i are feeling very targeted rn BonHair posted:If I ever start my own company and hire people, I'm stealing this idea. Only I'll make it about the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism or something. Or just goatse. Part of the joy of pledging allegiance to Cthulu in our onboarding is reflected in our job benefits package - as among the first to be consumed by his incomprehensible form, you'll be spared enduring the spectacle of the sacrifice of your friends and loved ones! And every second thursday, we get bagels! Chunderbucket has issued a correction as of 21:00 on Mar 22, 2021 |
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Mar 22, 2021 20:57
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The Bloop posted:The worst I ever had was medicaid reporting. Work for a non profit and want to help people? Spend half your time on a creative writing exercise for your billable hours so your underfunded org can stay afloat. And the billing process isn't billable! I made the point to HR and my GM that if the time entries are being fudged that the data gained from those time entries is meaningless and the entire thing should be scrapped, thus saving all those hours that go into time tracking and the gathering of data from it. Robo-HR then doubled down by ignoring logic and stating that it was one of my job duties to track time. I then told her the last person in my position to quit did so in large part due to time tracking (to be clear, I am obviously ok with tracking billable time) and asked her straight up if they were willing to lose employees due to it and after a quick reboot she responded with "yes". I shook my head, couldn't believe they would just come out and say it.
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Mar 22, 2021 21:00
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boar guy posted:i used to include a line item in monthly deliverable reporting for how many emails i'd had to answer during the month. sometimes people are astonished that they sent 80 emails that we had to address yet couldn't get any work done I once had the pleasure of having some lawyers consult for us. They were crazy expensive and wrote very detailed bills. Like "on day x we answered your mail about stupid detail. 15 minutes, one bazzilion dollars." We quickly made it a policy to not send stupid questions and only ask actually important questions. And then we considered our life choices and found out that having a fun job with reasonable hours was better than even the ridiculous lawyer rates.
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Mar 22, 2021 21:04
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The Nastier Nate posted:The Queen of...Beer? pretty sure op means Queen Elizabeth II, the one with the cool hats, terrifying driving habits and an unquenchable thirst for wayward souls that keep her alive despite being 94 and living a life of stunt driving humvees in between tea breaks
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Mar 22, 2021 21:05
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Rah! posted:lol yeah: Is this like a thing right now? Because Jason Rantz published a similar article about small landlords selling their extra homes in Seattle because of the eviction moratorium and Seattle tenant laws which 1) given the historically low inventory doesn't make any sense, and 2) made the argument that those sold homes meant fewer places for tenants to rent, without pointing out that is they weren't being rented, they were probably bring lived in, probably by people who would otherwise be renting. I'm not linking the article, because gently caress linking two-bit small-market Rush Limbaugh wannabes.
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Mar 22, 2021 21:39
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Billable time for project work: no problem, just put all on the one code Non-billable time for non-project work: so help you god if you do not correctly code everything to the 15+ different codes for non-project work No one actually pays attention to what you enter, so long as that ratio of billable to non billable time doesn't exceed whatever's in your contract. Why loving bother!! It takes ages for no benefit to anyone!!!
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Mar 22, 2021 22:36
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The Bloop posted:I'm so sick of the GROWTH poo poo business schools push now and how it's crept into everyone's minds. The funny thing is that a small business is more likely to have 300% growth than a large business just because it’s coming from a low starting point. But if the business isn’t really unique, it’s just not going to happen. It doesn’t matter if Larry’s Tree Service is the best in the tri-state area, there’s simply not the potential for 300% growth, and even if Larry’s Tree Service had 300% growth it would choke and die on its inability to handle the growth.
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Mar 22, 2021 22:38
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Missing Donut posted:The funny thing is that a small business is more likely to have 300% growth than a large business just because it’s coming from a low starting point. But if the business isn’t really unique, it’s just not going to happen. It doesn’t matter if Larry’s Tree Service is the best in the tri-state area, there’s simply not the potential for 300% growth, and even if Larry’s Tree Service had 300% growth it would choke and die on its inability to handle the growth. Plus, sure it might in year two or three but it's insane to think that's sustainable. Can't lose basis points! Only having 200% growth the next year isn't cause to celebrate, it's 10000 points of FAILURE! It's a brain disease
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Mar 22, 2021 23:55
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Mar 23, 2021 01:06
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I delivered papers when I was a kid and dropped a bomb in a customer's side lawn when I couldn't hold it.
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Mar 23, 2021 03:04
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:I delivered papers when I was a kid and dropped a bomb in a customer's side lawn when I couldn't hold it. In similar fashion, I detasseled corn a few summers as a teenager and I'd just drop trou 10 feet into the field regularly. Always kept poo poo paper in my poncho.
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Mar 23, 2021 03:22
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:In similar fashion, I detasseled corn a few summers as a teenager and I'd just drop trou 10 feet into the field regularly. Always kept poo poo paper in my poncho. Isn't this how you get e. coli outbreaks?
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Mar 23, 2021 03:26
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I was 13-16 and walking through seed cornfields all day. Detasseling corn is part of how you produce seed corn, more corn for planting. Wouldn't have been able to convince me to walk a half mile (more, since detasseling is just walking through cornfields all day anyhow) to a portashitter anyhow at that age. I definitely wasn't the only one either.
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Mar 23, 2021 03:32
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:In similar fashion, I detasseled corn a few summers as a teenager and I'd just drop trou 10 feet into the field regularly. Always kept poo poo paper in my poncho. Eww why didn't you just leave it?
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Mar 23, 2021 05:06
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my work publishes target billable time so I just charge a little bit more than that every day. like thanks bosses hell yeah thank you for just telling me how much to put on my time sheet, regardless of my actual productivity.
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Mar 23, 2021 05:31
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3D Megadoodoo posted:Eww why didn't you just leave it? I'd bury mine, but some people were especially terrible about it. Like they were raised in barns. If you think farm kids are renown for their hygiene, go to a rural county fair and walk through the 4H show barns. The kids tending animals there are the clean ones. And yes, I'd leave my used paper, under a pile of tassels and mud, for the crickets and ants to fight over. You learn the hard way once, wiping your rear end with corn leaves isn't pleasant. Also dew settles on corn overnight, unless it's going to rain later in the day, so you wear a poncho for the first two hours and many have pockets for cigarettes and toilet paper.
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Mar 23, 2021 05:37
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Gorson posted:I made the point to HR and my GM that if the time entries are being fudged that the data gained from those time entries is meaningless and the entire thing should be scrapped, thus saving all those hours that go into time tracking and the gathering of data from it. Robo-HR then doubled down by ignoring logic and stating that it was one of my job duties to track time. I then told her the last person in my position to quit did so in large part due to time tracking (to be clear, I am obviously ok with tracking billable time) and asked her straight up if they were willing to lose employees due to it and after a quick reboot she responded with "yes". I shook my head, couldn't believe they would just come out and say it. I finally got a position where I don't need to track time (I'm loving salaried) but before that I just had a candid conversation with my boss that my limiting factor on output isn't time, its my ability to give a poo poo, and he let me just scale everything by that metric and multiply the percentages by 40 every week. Hours allocation is always stupid. always.
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Mar 23, 2021 05:52
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this is basically the same as the argument against gentrification at an individual level. you're saying "no you can't live here because your money is pricing poorer people out of the neighborhood"
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Mar 23, 2021 08:18
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Gorson posted:I made the point to HR and my GM that if the time entries are being fudged that the data gained from those time entries is meaningless and the entire thing should be scrapped, thus saving all those hours that go into time tracking and the gathering of data from it. Robo-HR then doubled down by ignoring logic and stating that it was one of my job duties to track time. I then told her the last person in my position to quit did so in large part due to time tracking (to be clear, I am obviously ok with tracking billable time) and asked her straight up if they were willing to lose employees due to it and after a quick reboot she responded with "yes". I shook my head, couldn't believe they would just come out and say it. It sounds like you were creating a threat to her job
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Mar 23, 2021 09:58
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BonHair posted:If I ever start my own company and hire people, I'm stealing this idea. Only I'll make it about the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism or something. I bet that's somehow illegal based on a law passed in 1916 that everyone forgot about but which will absolutely be used against you by some whiny poo poo who takes personal offense to the concept of diversity or something
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Mar 23, 2021 10:21
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“Time working” is just such a precovid relic for anyone working from home Yesterday I stopped “working” at 4:00 but I also started an hour earlier and took an hour worth of calls and emails between 5pm and 10 pm
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Mar 23, 2021 12:28
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The Nastier Nate posted:“Time working” is just such a precovid relic for anyone working from home I've bolded where you hosed up, hth (Although I like that you apparently only started your workday at 3pm)
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Mar 23, 2021 12:31
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I work 8am - 4pm but it's really more like I hit the snooze button on my alarm 5-7 times and open the laptop around 8:15 - 8:30 once I finally drag myself over. Once 4pm hits though you bet your rear end that bitch closes faster than you can say 'full communism now'. Lmao if you even look at your work email/teams after working hours
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Mar 23, 2021 12:41
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one other thing I've considered doing is writing basic emails during the day, something simple like asking my boss to sign off on an invoice, and scheduling them to go out at a random time like 8:36 PM so everyone thinks im working all hours into the night
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Mar 23, 2021 12:53
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The Nastier Nate posted:one other thing I've considered doing is writing basic emails during the day, something simple like asking my boss to sign off on an invoice, and scheduling them to go out at a random time like 8:36 PM so everyone thinks im working all hours into the night one of my bosses bought this hook line and sinker and wrote me a nice note saying thank you lmao
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Mar 23, 2021 13:15
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