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life is killing me posted:Real talk, these are the toughest times when I can’t parent him because he won’t have any of it. I do it anyway but it seems to drive him further from me because I’m just the big bearded obstacle between him and the parent he actually wants. At best I’m just some guy there he thinks he doesn’t have to listen to if he wants Mom. My nearly 4 year old nephew has only now realised that his father, who absolutely dotes on him, is not a poo poo human to be actively hated at all times. The mum-attachment phase does eventually end. I agree with everyone else that your expectations of his logical capabilities are probably too high at this stage - he's a little beast of instinct and emotion. I expect my 2 year old to be about as logical as my dog, and then am pleasantly surprised on occasions where he rises above that level. Also I've seriously considered multiple beds in bedrooms option. Holy heck. At least the boy is usually silent when he comes in but he's a martial artist once he's asleep again. Still can't get him to go to sleep without me being there either. The days of him sleeping on his own like clockwork are like some kind of hazy mirage of the past.
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Mar 23, 2021 11:07
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I've mentioned it before. This thing is amazing and helped me get a lot more sleep. It lived in the corner of my room for a while: https://www.amazon.com/Regalo-Portable-Toddler-Fitted-Travel/dp/B000H1MRJO/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=toddler+cot&qid=1616521171&sr=8-2
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Mar 23, 2021 18:39
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in_cahoots posted:Edit: never mind, I missed your latest post. Keeping this here in case it’s helpful to someone else. Probably, though I have been in heavy denial about it. He's more aware, it seems, than we give him credit for, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that he is already feeling the new baby blues and trying to get our attention; also possible he's picking up on our stress and activity and loosely correlating that with the fact his little sister is going to be here soon if that's possible for his brain to do, because we've talked to him about this a lot to prepare him. And we do have a plan in place to make sure he's getting the attention he needs from us when his sister is actually born. KirbyKhan posted:Don't lose heart brother. You might not be the one he wants but you're the one he's got. Hopefully his view that you are a big bearded obstical passes, but you gotta stay strong and be the best gatekeeper you can be. We will need some new child locks on it. The old ones broke. And thanks for the sentiment, my mental health has been suffering independently and the lack of sleep and even occasional solitude has not been helping. True, and I know all of this, but in the trenches it's easy to forget or deny. He enjoys seeing me get angry so I have to hold it in check because getting angry only makes him double down and it's fascinating to him. I know you're not being critical; part of the reason I enjoy posting ITT is because there will be some sympathy but also people telling the truth and reminding me of how it really is versus how it feels to me in the moment. I need reality, not reinforcement of my feelings when I'm making them reality. And he is a really independent kid; we foster that where it's safe rather than squelch it because it's good for him in the long run but boy independence is tough to parent. Hippie Hedgehog posted:OK, after having thought about this for all of a few minutes... (So I'm saying take this for what it is, internet advice that you can safely disregard and I promise I won't mind.) marchantia posted:Or alternatively can you fit a full sized bed in his room that you can crash on with him in the middle of the night if he wakes up? If sleep is your priority above all there are ways to get it but you may not like them. I also am not sure if you are just venting in here but three year old brains generally do not "know better" - they have very under developed impulse and emotional control and trying to logic them into staying in bed isn't going to work. We just broke down a queen in the other guest room (now our incoming infant daughter's room), it's a high bed though and he is a very active sleeper so I'd be afraid of him falling off. I'd consider buying a cot to whip out in there when needed with a sleeping bag or whatever, though. And yeah, I'm venting. He's a great, independent, smart kid. Sleep and waking us in the night has been brutal as it's been going on for months, but he doesn't have behavioral problems--he's just a normal toddler with big, unregulated emotions as are most others. Tamarillo posted:My nearly 4 year old nephew has only now realised that his father, who absolutely dotes on him, is not a poo poo human to be actively hated at all times. The mum-attachment phase does eventually end. I agree with everyone else that your expectations of his logical capabilities are probably too high at this stage - he's a little beast of instinct and emotion. I expect my 2 year old to be about as logical as my dog, and then am pleasantly surprised on occasions where he rises above that level. I still don't know how so many parents get these amazing sleepers and have the wherewithal and mental clarity to actually successfully do sleep training from start to finish. Our kid goes through phases where he sleeps through the night consistently, but they last no longer than a month or so and then it's back to months of frequent wake ups and inability or unwillingness to go back to sleep on his own
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Mar 23, 2021 19:16
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Alterian posted:I've mentioned it before. This thing is amazing and helped me get a lot more sleep. It lived in the corner of my room for a while: I may actually need to get something like this, thank you!
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Mar 23, 2021 21:25
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Alterian posted:I've mentioned it before. This thing is amazing and helped me get a lot more sleep. It lived in the corner of my room for a while: Oh hello that looks amazing.
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Mar 23, 2021 22:54
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They're perfect for when they're sick as well. We also used it as a travel cot. It's gotten so much usage. My oldest is too big for it now, but my toddler now uses it. I'm probably going to get a larger cot for my oldest for travel / sick days.
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Mar 24, 2021 10:53
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life is killing me posted:I still don't know how so many parents get these amazing sleepers and have the wherewithal and mental clarity to actually successfully do sleep training from start to finish. Our kid goes through phases where he sleeps through the night consistently, but they last no longer than a month or so and then it's back to months of frequent wake ups and inability or unwillingness to go back to sleep on his own It wasn’t easy but it was worth it. I did my own research and decided what I was comfortable with along with talking to her pediatrician. I know a lot of people on the internet think sleep training is mean and will scar your kid for life. I never felt mean. And she is a champ sleeper now, she will never remember I made her cry a few nights for ... like maybe a week. That’s it. A week of her life taught her how to be a great sleeper. If you’re already sacrificing sleep, you might as well dive in and try sleep training. You’re not giving anything up if you’re already not sleeping. I highly recommend even if you don’t do sleep training that you find a way to keep little dude from getting into your room. This is going to be a massive problem for you both when he barges in and wakes up the baby.
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Mar 24, 2021 14:01
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Sarah posted:Sleep training Was there a particular method that you used?
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Mar 24, 2021 15:48
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This is what I found that really kind of spoke to me. https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/02/baby-takes-a-stand-against-sleep-advice-from-eileen-henry/ After laying her down after our bedtime routine (dinner, bath, brush teeth) and laying her down, I would start the stop watch on my phone. Any time her crying was distressed I would stop and clear it and go in and comfort her and check to make sure she was ok. Rock, sing, cuddle. This was at 15 months old and pediatrician suggested we stop night feeds so we quit them cold turkey. He said she would figure out to start eating more right before bed. He was right. After a few days she started really packing food in at dinner. Once she calmed down and started to sleep I would lay her back down. Start the timer again. If normal crying, I would wait until 21 minutes to go to her. If it lasted 21 minutes I would go in and rock and soothe for 21 minutes then try again. Do not set a timer on your phone or an alarm. You don’t want that going off and waking anyone up! She never reached needing a 3rd cycle. After a few days of needing a 2nd cycle she dropped down to crying around 15 minutes before settling. Every night she settled faster and faster each time we had an incident. It was tough at first. She woke up a lot in the night the first few days. We didn’t have to transition to a toddler bed she was a little over 2 years old. She waited a long time to escape the crib! It wasn’t too much trouble to transition. We put a tall gate up in the doorway and a door monkey up high out of reach so she can’t lock us out since she loves to play with doors and locks. Our house is under construction so it is not safe for her to wander unattended. She gets out of bed occasionally but she can’t leave the room. Her room is a safe spot. No furniture to climb, no toys except some stuffed animals on the bed. There is another tall gate stopping her from the closet where her dresser, baby monitor, and hatch rest are. If she goes to the door and yells or makes any noise we 100% ignore it. I don’t even go down that hallway to use the bathroom until I know for sure she’s asleep (we have a baby monitor camera). She quickly gets bored and gets back in bed these days. If she does wake up and cry out — for any reason, I go in a check on her. Because now since we have progressed so far I know something is wrong. Usually she can’t find Elmo or lost a sock or can’t get covered back up. I don’t think she’s old enough yet to have bad dreams. I’m not sure. But it doesn’t ruin anything to go in because I can lay her back down and she is OK with it and me leaving her. She goes to bed at 7 pm (her choice - she turns into a pumpkin at 7:01 it seems) and I am not really sure what time she wakes up, but she will start yelling at around 6:30 AM for someone to come get her. Soon I will be moving the gate so that she can access the bathroom for the potty and to test the waters on coming into our room to wake us up in the morning rather than yelling - but still be cut off from the areas that are being worked on. I’m in no way a sleep expert but this is what worked for us. It was by no means easy those first few days. I was a zombie at work. I was the only one getting up and doing this because I wanted it to be consistent and I didn’t want husband to give up and give in.
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Mar 24, 2021 17:54
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We have 2 kids in the same room and the oldest (2.5 years) started climbing out of his crib and couldn't get back in, so we removed the side and converted it into a ... easy-in-easy-out crib. I'm sure there's a technical name for it but IDK what it is. The 10 month old is still in her crib and is extremely chill so when the 2.5 year old gets out of bed IMMEDIATELY and opens the door to the bedroom and screams, she doesn't mind too much. They used to both go to sleep easily, within 5-10 minutes of us putting them to sleep (baby goes in around 7pm and toddler goes in at 7:20 or so) and it was easy evenings. But now that toddler can get up, holy poo poo it's tough. He was up and out of his bedroom until 9:45 last night. We have told him that we won't tuck him in a second time and we mostly stick to that. He's allowed to get a nappy change if he's taken a poo. Honestly that's great because he'll take a poo, tell us immediately, then it's very easy to clean up because it's fresh. He's allowed a single potty trip (he just sits on it and doesn't do anything, has never properly-used it before) which he normally asks for immediately after he's tucked in and put to bed. Now he gets up, opens his door, screams, and closes his door if you approach it to tell him to go back to bed. If you ignore him he'll come out of his room and sort of mess around just outside the door. if you go in and put him to bed again he cries. if you ask him what's wrong he has nothing to say. If you walk up to the door he'll scream 'noooooo' and close it, so you have to open it again, tell him to go to bed, etc. Some sleep training person online was saying that you shouldn't provide any stimulation/entertainment/rewards for getting up, so no more tuck-ins, no more milk, no sitting up late, or any of that kind of thing. We try to stick to it but it seems like one of us has to basically be waiting outside his bedroom for about 2 hours after bed time to tell him to go back to sleep (we do not do that! we only tell him once every 5-10 minutes). That's why we started ignoring him for a bit and only telling him to go back to bed every 5 or 10 minutes. Honestly I wish that his crib wall was maybe a foot or two higher so he wasn't able to climb out of it still. I also have considered locking the door but we have never done it. Apparently it's extremely traumatic. Every time I draw on my vast experience of being a child, I ask 'what would my parents do?' and the answer is definitely "give me a smack" (spank on the butt with an open palm, as opposed to a smack in the face). So my life experience is a lot worse than useless. I was only disciplined as a kid, never rationally or kindly told not to do something. I'm excited to see if our parenting methods of no hitting end up with a more well-balanced kid than I was.
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Mar 24, 2021 19:40
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I complain about my kids all the time so I'm gonna brag a little. Our 6 year old is really smart, but she intentionally does bad at home (when reading and writing... like she intentionally messes up... I'm guessing just to have our attention maybe). Her teacher says she's doing great and doesn't exhibit any of that behavior in class (she's been in person since August). Well tonight she came home with her NNAT3 test scores for the first phase of gifted class screening and dang she knocked it out of the park. I mean it's not 1600 on the SAT but I'm a proud papa! 
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Mar 25, 2021 02:38
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My kid is showing some early signs of being gifted (at least in some aspects) but I am not sure if I should hope for her to turn out a Very Superior child or if it would just be painful for her. The school system here does not have a good track record with gifted children. What do they usually do where you're at - accelerated schooling of some sort? Edit: Oh, I missed the "gifted class screening" part. So, they all go in the same class - will it be a separate school from where her kindergarten classmates end up? Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 14:31 on Mar 25, 2021 |
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Mar 25, 2021 14:27
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:My kid is showing some early signs of being gifted (at least in some aspects) but I am not sure if I should hope for her to turn out a Very Superior child or if it would just be painful for her. The school system here does not have a good track record with gifted children. She's in 1st grade and, from what I understand, it's just a separate class that they go to along with their regular schooling. It's not a separate school or anything. I did it when I was a kid and it was just an hour out of the day where the gifted kids get together and did gifted kid things (basically logic problems all day lol). I'm not actually sure though, I need to go back and read the letter ha. It's all kinda moot anyway since we're moving in the summer. But I'll take it to her new school if they do that sort of thing.
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Mar 25, 2021 15:28
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BonoMan posted:I did it when I was a kid and it was just an hour out of the day where the gifted kids get together and did gifted kid things (basically logic problems all day lol). In my elementary school we did geography for some reason. We had a worksheet of geography questions we had to do as homework by going to the local library and finding the answers. (This was pre-internet). Middle school was reading extra books and logic problems. High school we did jack poo poo. It was just a cool* room to hang out in during lunch with all our friends and we visited a few colleges. The room was in the library, one of the few rooms in the school that had AC.
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Mar 25, 2021 15:36
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Alterian posted:In my elementary school we did geography for some reason. We had a worksheet of geography questions we had to do as homework by going to the local library and finding the answers. (This was pre-internet). My gifted classes ended when I left school and went to private school. This was a private school in Mississippi. So, a segregation school... but I didn't really understand that at the moment. I just knew it's where my friends went and I wanted to go. My parents finally relented in 7th grade and sent me over there. The education was *atrocious* and there wasn't even an idea of a "gifted" program. Hell it wasn't until my senior year (1997) that they finally decided to introduce AP-esque level classes. Only after the fact, talking to my mom who was a pure bred San Francisco hippy that moved to Mississippi in the early 70s, did I realize they had a little cabal of revolutionaries in MS. She had started this group of white moms that was hellbent on not sending their kids to private schools and instead sent us to the, mostly all African American, public schools. While I hate that I kinda hosed all that up (again though I didn't know), when I look at the group of kids from those families, we all did manage to escape the Mississippi Delta and become well rounded (ish) and non-racist fucks. So I guess it did work to an extent! Also the public school was much better, but I didn't realize it until it was too late. Anyway sorry that's way off topic. But on that note I have vowed *never* to send my kid to a private school around here.
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Mar 25, 2021 16:38
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My kid’s school doesn’t have separate classes for gifted students. Instead, there are up to 8 gifted students among 22 (elementary school class sizes) and a “gifted endorsed” teacher gives about 1/6th of class time instruction (to the gifted students only, I think?). They said separate classes had bad effects on gifted students socially, which was definitely a problem when I was in school.
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Mar 25, 2021 18:01
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kaschei posted:My kid’s school doesn’t have separate classes for gifted students. Instead, there are up to 8 gifted students among 22 (elementary school class sizes) and a “gifted endorsed” teacher gives about 1/6th of class time instruction (to the gifted students only, I think?). They said separate classes had bad effects on gifted students socially, which was definitely a problem when I was in school. That is a good idea. a.) just separating them and calling them gifted definitely puts a target on their back... I definitely got teased a lot. and b.) keeping them in class seems like it could help "teach" other kids too potentially. Rising tide lifts all boats sort of thing.
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Mar 25, 2021 18:26
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When I was small kindergarten child I was broken out into "high reading" and while the rest of the class was fiddling with "foxes in boxes" me and like 3 other kids got handed The Giving Tree. It seems like a good way to get better material without siloing me with tiger mom havers.
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Mar 25, 2021 18:41
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We had a program in elementary school called PACE for gifted kids. Before sixth grade I had all A’s and was in PACE, then my parents did a long, drawn-put separation and divorce where Iistened to my dad scream at my mom over the phone because my room was right next to theirs/his and I could hear it through the walls and never could sleep because I was also anxious as gently caress—and hearing my dad just made that worse so sleep wasn’t gonna happen. Then I went to the sixth grade school where I got bullied some more and that plus my parents divorcing sent my grades down the shitter. Somehow I managed to get into an AP English class in high school and get an A. Math was my worst subject and I also somehow got eligible for AP Calculus and when I saw the future valedictorian of my class struggling to keep up in Calculus the first week of the semester (he ended up getting accepted into Harvard, didn’t actually go) I said gently caress it and dropped it like a bad habit because there was no hope for me. AP were the “gifted” classes in high school, not sure what if anything they had in middle school because the emotional trauma was pretty much taking over my life and I couldn’t focus
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Mar 25, 2021 19:06
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BonoMan posted:That is a good idea. a.) just separating them and calling them gifted definitely puts a target on their back... I definitely got teased a lot. and b.) keeping them in class seems like it could help "teach" other kids too potentially. Rising tide lifts all boats sort of thing. Modern research shows that mixed-ability classrooms help _everyone_ learn better, including those at the upper-end of understanding.
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Mar 25, 2021 19:22
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Slimy Hog posted:Modern research shows that mixed-ability classrooms help _everyone_ learn better, including those at the upper-end of understanding. Yes. My extra gifted classes did nothing for me. I'm happy that there's better teaching methods out there now! I implement some of these ideas in my college classes I teach. Edit: The extra geography lessons taught me about Papua New Guinea which I was obsessed with for about a year in elementary school.
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Mar 25, 2021 20:18
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Slimy Hog posted:Modern research shows that mixed-ability classrooms help _everyone_ learn better, including those at the upper-end of understanding. Child: "The fox jumps over the fox" Child: "Nah my dude, the second one is box. You can tell because of the dangly bits on the first letter and the picture is of a box. Half of this is context clues" Child: "Oh gotcha, that makes much more sense."
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Mar 25, 2021 20:20
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truavatar posted:Was there a particular method that you used? I'd like to also chip in on the side of sleep training. We're on day 3 of Ferber with our 4.5 month old son and the kid goes down at 7-8ish and wakes up at 5 a.m. Wife just feeds him then anyway, since she'll get up earlier on radiation surgery days anyway. My 2 cents, the Ferber thing is more for the parent's conscience rather than for the kid. Our baby is, if anything, even more chipper than before.
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Mar 25, 2021 21:09
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KirbyKhan posted:Child: "The fox jumps over the fox" Not sure if this was in jest or not, but this is exactly what is good in a classroom.
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Mar 25, 2021 21:30
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E/N post incoming... I just found out my best friend is rather impulsively moving, and will be about a 90 minute drive away starting in May. She has two tiny kids and we are “aunties” to each other’s children. She was there for my first baby’s birth and helped me from losing my mind in the first few weeks postpartum. I did the same for her with her kids. She will be gone by the end of May, and my second baby is due in June. I was really looking forward to having the entire summer to hang out and have play dates and her support with what is going to be the last baby for both of us, and now that’s just not going to happen. I’ve felt so isolated this past year, just this past week I took my daughter on her first play date since FOREVER and she had such a fun time. I really only have one other mom friend with a kid my age and we are hanging out for the first time in months this upcoming weekend. It’s not like she’s moving across the world, but pre covid we would hang out lots, and I kind of always thought we would be raising our kids together and whatnot. 90 minutes is a long drive with a newborn and a toddler. Pre-kids I envisioned making lots of new mom friends and having regular play dates and being really active with my kids. It didn’t work out like that. I know I’m not alone but god it sure feels like I am.
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Mar 25, 2021 21:41
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Current newborn sleep experience and routine. Mother in Law and wife have baby in living room watching either stand up comedy, nightly news, or murder heavy action. I announce at 8:00 "Ok, let us do some sort of wind down" as I go to walk dog. Upon dog walk completion, I set up formula bottles for sanitizing on the vanity next to bathroom. I bought some cute drying baskets that fit the breast pump apparatus and baby bottles. Full inventory takes three 8 minute cycles. At the end of the last cycle I flood the bottle warmer with sink water and prepare 2oz of fomula on slow warm. Durring this time baby is on boob and tv goes 4 notches lower in volume after 2 hails of gunfire. Anywhere from 8:45 to 9:45 the baby pees and I change him. Then I bring him to the back and wind him down. After he is down and swaddled I have to bring him back out to say goodnight to everybody. Then I put him down again. Lights turn down, cellphone gets tuned to my high effort baby playlist with complicated weeb music. If asleep, bedroom goes down to nightlight and monitor light. If awake, then story time with dad and the light snack. 10:00 is usually the last awake diaper change. I move either the camera or my babies head to achieve proper blocking then hunt for baby monitor. Put it on charger next to computer then pour out a cup of coffee. Then I watch for major movement. Like I stopped getting up after every coo, Ill wait till he lifts his legs or open his eyes to get up. Most the time he can be hushed back to sleep by placing my hand on his chest. Around midnight is when the nightly farting occurs. I just unswaddle him and he farts. Then he stretches and farts more. Then I give 1/2 inch compressions on his belly to fart more. There is a 30% chance these will be poops. I fix a 2 oz bottle when the baby stirs enough. If he smashes that, eyes wide open, I'll fix a 4oz bottle after to cap his food intake to 6oz. Around 2:00-4:00 I crawl into bed and wife takes care of the next stirrings. I sleep till 9:30-10:00 From 10:00 to 2:00 he is mostly chill. I have to do about 3 diaper changes durring this time.
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Mar 25, 2021 21:47
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We’re trying to setup a nanny share with another couple and do it the legal way with taxes and payroll and contracts and sick time and vacation time and all that jazz. It’s really hard, I’ve never run a business or hired anyone before. We’ve also all been salary for a while now and back when I was hourly I never learned any employment laws. I also never worked enough to get overtime. So anyway we quoted some dollars/hr to the nanny and she agreed to them and we said awesome. Then the other couple asked for 50/hrs week and the nanny agreed and were still golden. It’s only when I started looking at the payroll software and the contract that I realized we hadn’t accounted for overtime. You can’t pay a nanny a flat rate for 50 hours a week. That’s illegal. So now we have to go to her and give her a raise so that we follow the law. I’m sure she will be happy but whoops we really should have covered this originally.
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Mar 25, 2021 21:53
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Nah dude, just acknowledge the OT by giving her the 1.5X rate of $75 for those 10 hours above 40. A simple chat room or Google form can do hours tracking. In california milage is p simple as well: commute from home to job or job to home is unpaid, everything in between is charged 0.53/mile. Edit: lmao my math mistook your 50 hrs for $50/hr. Basic concept federally. Overtime is just 1.5*hourly rate, way easier to just do the two step math rather than find the magic number that equals what nanny was offered originally. Also averaging that number leaves you exposed to schedule changes. Market rate for Calabasas rear end rich hollywood nannies are like $22-$30/hr fyi. KirbyKhan fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Mar 25, 2021 |
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Mar 25, 2021 22:03
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$75 an hour for OT? Did I misread, they said 50 hours a week, not $50 an hour. Either way, we only had a nanny for about 5 months before covid hit and I had to take over, but my wife signed up for some website that partnered with the site we found the nanny through that handled all the payroll and tax stuff. It was expensive but neither of us had any experience with that stuff and Maryland has a bunch of extra rights for home employees and we just didn't want to screw anything up. On an unrelated note, are you all seeing these youtube ads for scented kinetic sand? Are kids supposed to eat this stuff, and if not, how on Earth do you prevent kids from eating that stuff? Edit: homepay.com was the website
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Mar 25, 2021 22:13
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Edited math assumptions. Man idunno, we survived Nicklodian Gak, but how do I teach my son to refuse the forbidden sand. Tell him if he eats it a pearl will grow in his tummy a clog up his butt.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:16
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KirbyKhan posted:Nah dude, just acknowledge the OT by giving her the 1.5X rate of $75 for those 10 hours above 40. A simple chat room or Google form can do hours tracking. In california milage is p simple as well: commute from home to job or job to home is unpaid, everything in between is charged 0.53/mile. Yeah you’re right. I’m nowhere near Hollywood so I don’t have to worry about that, and splitting the nanny cost in half makes it a lot more reasonable. Even with the added cost of charging for 2 kids vs charging for 1 kid. The other couple wanted to try what you said, the magic # approach. I sat down and did the math and showed the magic # to them and the nanny. The other couple kept trying to figure out a more magic # once they saw the 1.5x dollar figure, so I kept politely reminding them that screwing with OT was illegal. The nanny looked at the magic #s and said, that leaves me open to schedule changes. I said well we really aren’t gonna do that to you, we’re writing the contract and bringing in two separate children to give you as steady of employment and paychecks as possible. But she didn’t like it and it’s only 1.5x on 10 hours so I should bite the bullet and pay it. Lesson learned on discussing OT up front.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:25
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There is no employer in the world that can guarentee absolutely no schedule changes in the future ever. Lmao the job is child and fiddly adults trying to find the most vulnerable optimization. It protects you too and is just more sound. Nanny rate is nanny value and putting in a structural 10 hours a week over 40 hours a week (50 HOURS!!!) is worth 15 hours.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:33
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KirbyKhan posted:There is no employer in the world that can guarentee absolutely no schedule changes in the future ever. Lmao the job is child and fiddly adults trying to find the most vulnerable optimization. Agreed. I’m not trying to become a small business tyrant and start loving over the first person I ever hire. We just had her over part time this week and she was great with the baby. He has an awesome time with her and having an extra set of hands to clean bottles and feed him and clean up after him is huge. It’s expensive and we’re super privileged to be able to afford help, but daycare is also expensive and is scary because of Covid. I signed up for Poppins.com to figure out paperwork and payroll and taxes and so far that’s a lot easier.
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Mar 25, 2021 22:50
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Slimy Hog posted:Not sure if this was in jest or not, but this is exactly what is good in a classroom. No I think it was a genuine example of why not to separate.
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Mar 25, 2021 23:02
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I can’t help on the nanny chat, but I can say with complete authority that kinetic sand is a scam. It combines the worst parts of sand (the mess, things don’t stick together) with the worst parts of Playdough (after a single usage you have a multicolored blob). I’m not sure why anyone would use it.
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Mar 26, 2021 01:10
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in_cahoots posted:I can’t help on the nanny chat, but I can say with complete authority that kinetic sand is a scam. It combines the worst parts of sand (the mess, things don’t stick together) with the worst parts of Playdough (after a single usage you have a multicolored blob). I’m not sure why anyone would use it. Anything in those “as seen on tv” stores is a must-miss for me and if the kids ask for it I distract them until they forget it and on to the next thing  3 kids toy questions I always ask if i can tolerate: 1 - how messy/hard to clean up 2 - how noisy/annoying it is 3 - how hard it is to get rid of once they are bored with it or it breaks (ie a huge nonrecyclable plastic crap)
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Mar 26, 2021 01:22
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How much is (SF Bay area) a babysitter for 2 kids vs for 1? We had 1 during covid and most of our friends have never clapped eyes on her, and she hasn't been babysat ever (apart from the daycare lady) IIRC a babysitter before covid was anything from 35-50? per hour? I can't remember? and then we would tip them. It was super expensive to just go to a restaurant date without the kid. Now I know why people move back home after they have kids, wherever home happens to be.
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Mar 26, 2021 01:28
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priznat posted:Anything in those “as seen on tv” stores is a must-miss for me and if the kids ask for it I distract them until they forget it and on to the next thing This will forever be a fight between my wife and I. As an early childhood educator she will swear up and down about the important of sensory activities. Except, unfortunately, these sensory activities make a huge mess. And guess who needs to clean it up? Water beads, kinetic sand, play dough, we've had it all. Sandbox on the patio outside. When she's baking, she'll give him a pile of flour and let him go wild. He loves the gently caress out of it, but I feel like I spend an hour or more cleaning every day. I started putting his cups in the dishwasher. She's not a fan but, if I'm sick and tired of washing all these cups by hand. How does a 2 year old generate more dishes than 2 full grown adults? e: I did win the fight with the orbeez though. The water + mess + difficulty to clean up just utterly broke me.
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Mar 26, 2021 01:35
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Renegret posted:This will forever be a fight between my wife and I. I am you and you are me. Buying a roomba has given me back a small amount of sanity. I run it almost every day and it drives my wife insane but my floors are clean so I don’t give a gently caress.
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Mar 26, 2021 01:42
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Koivunen posted:E/N post incoming... I just found out my best friend is rather impulsively moving, and will be about a 90 minute drive away starting in May. She has two tiny kids and we are “aunties” to each other’s children. She was there for my first baby’s birth and helped me from losing my mind in the first few weeks postpartum. I did the same for her with her kids. She will be gone by the end of May, and my second baby is due in June. I was really looking forward to having the entire summer to hang out and have play dates and her support with what is going to be the last baby for both of us, and now that’s just not going to happen. This is absolutely valid. I too was really hoping to make parent friends at childbirth classes, library storytime, park playgrounds....none of that panned out. Just before covid hit, we discovered an indoor play gym slash cafe right by our house that was perfect for play dates. I don’t even know now if they stayed solvent. With light at the end of the tunnel it’s particularly rough to lose (even partially)someone you were looking forward to making the best of things with.
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Mar 26, 2021 01:44
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