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Jim, piloting a Clan Marauder, spots Dwight in an Urbanmech and simply won't relent
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Mar 22, 2021 18:18
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Jim surgically swaps his testicles with Dwight's without Dwight's knowledge, ensuring the Schrute name is replaced with Halpert blood.
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Mar 22, 2021 18:22
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During a team-building exercise a film crew is gathered to tape what should be a fun re-enactment. What should be a light-hearted gambol through "schlemiel schlimazel hasenpfeffer incorporated" is just highlights of Jim slapping the poo poo out of Dwight, who is in tears, with rubber gloves, through various stages of the bottling line.
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Mar 22, 2021 18:24
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Dwight starts to receive threatening letters in the mail that talk about "exposing Dwight's secret" and "Making sure the price is paid". Each one is signed "FROM THE GUY YOU SCREWED OVER" and includes a photo of the outside of Dwight's house. Dwight gets the police involved, who then surround Dwight's farm, hoping to catch this guy in the act. The stakeout lasts for 3 weeks but yields nothing and the letters stop. Eventually feeling safe again, Dwight goes for a walk around the farm. He discovers a bundle of clothing tucked under a tree and, moving closer, finds that it's actually a decaying body. Carefully examining it, he finds that the body is located near a camera and a half-written letter accusing Dwight of being a fraud and signed "FROM THE GUY YOU SCREWED OVER". Forensic investigators determine the body is a 100% DNA match... to Dwight Schrute. Disturbed and unsure what to do next, Dwight takes a DNA test of his own and discovers he's actually Jim Halpert. He looks out the window and sees "Jim Halpert" waving at him, then dousing himself with gasoline and lighting himself aflame. Dental records later determine that the charred corpse belongs to Todd Barson, who escaped from prison in 2001 after being convicted for arm robbery and forgery. Looking at photos of Todd, he's a perfect physical match to Jim Halpert. No one can solve the mystery of Todd Barson and exactly when he took over Jim's life but Pam is left shaken and soon relocates across the country, unable to handle the strangeness of what happened. Dwight is similarly vexed and doctors are unable to explain why he's a genetic match to the real Jim Halpert. Police never solve the mystery of Jim's death nor why he was writing the letters to Dwight. On his deathbed Dwight reflects on the strangeness to his grandchildren and glances into the hallway of his hospice. Jim Halpert waves back at him, and Dwight passes away before he can determine if this is reality or some end-of-life fantasy.
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Mar 22, 2021 19:44
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Jim leaves a message to Dwight from another world, its beside an open sewer cover and says "try roll" Dwight rolls in the hopes to get a secret but instead plunges into the sewer below, Jim does a Jim face gesture in his own world.
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Mar 22, 2021 19:50
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Jim switches out Dwight's plane ticket to the paper convention in Belgium, for one that goes to the Islamic State in Syria. Dwight eventually returns but get's detained in Guantanmo as a stateless person
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Mar 22, 2021 19:56
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Jim tells Kevin that Dwight is filled with cake and the ogre of a man tears Dwight limb from limb in a fit of ravenous delerium.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:16
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Jim puts saran-wrap around the door to Dunder Mifflin and Dwight walks into it.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:17
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Jim to chair a office Dwight prank going by shovel Jim. Round Dwight the Jim under and below office chair unknowingly. The of under snowshoes mountain as in below falling buries paper and Jim horror Dwight screams. Mugs camera Jim the.
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Mar 22, 2021 20:34
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"Jim!" Dwight screams, rising from his chair. "Jim! How did you get this urine in my pants without my knowing?" Dwight is in an old folks home. He is demented and has pissed himself. Two onlooking nurses speak to one another. "Who is this 'Jim' person? Mr. Schrute always blames things he does on him." "There are theories. Some say he was his workmate. Some say they were lovers. Me? I say they were dance partners, forever coiling around one another in a maxixe of mutual enmity." "Maxixe?" "It's a dance. A forbidden dance." "A dance?" "Oui." "Wait... 'Oui' like yes, but in French?" "Ou... yes." "So yes, it's a dance? The way they were was like a dance?" "Yes." "Ok. Oh man, that's neat. I'm going to look up that maxixe dance thing one my break. Probably look it up on wikipedia with my phone. Oh man, that ought to make the time pass more pleasantly, looking up a forbidden dance. drat I'm glad I work in a state run old folks home with you, Deborah."
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Mar 22, 2021 20:55
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Thanks, Debra!
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Mar 22, 2021 21:19
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Mar 22, 2021 21:53
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Jim talks Dwight into paying ten dollars to register on Something Awful and then links him this thread
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Mar 23, 2021 05:15
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Jim eats an entire 18” pizza in one sitting then shits it out on Dwight’s desk.
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Mar 23, 2021 16:51
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Jim eats an entire box of saltines while lying naked in Dwight's bed. Dwight is vexed when he goes to bed that night only to find his sheets full of crumbs. He goes to change sheets but Jim has also filled the spare sheets with cracker crumbs.
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Mar 23, 2021 21:38
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Cubone posted:- Jim leaves the office through a door that is not there. He sings Dwight's name from the space between spaces. Dwight looks and looks for Jim in every room, but Jim simply is not there.
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Mar 23, 2021 22:02
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Jim sticks Dwight’s toothbrush in his rear end. He never tells Dwight or gives the toothbrush back.
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Mar 24, 2021 01:20
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Jim leaves a post-it note on Dwight's monitor reminding Dwight that Star Wars: the Last Jedi is canon and that the Holdo Maneuver retroactively ruins all previous Star Wars films.
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Mar 25, 2021 03:22
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Jim rewires everything in the Office so now Dwight has to flip a switch in the women's bathroom to turn on his computer. There's a red switch labelled "DWIGHT DO NOT TOUCH" and Dwight, in his fury, flips the switch. A muffled explosion is heard in the distance and Jim announces that Dwight has just destroyed the Scranton Children's Hospital.
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Mar 25, 2021 15:20
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Jim makes his puppet, Kermit the Frog, say, "Dwight Stinks"
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Mar 25, 2021 16:59
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Applewhite posted:Jim leaves a post-it note on Dwight's monitor reminding Dwight that Star Wars: the Last Jedi is canon and that the Holdo Maneuver retroactively ruins all previous Star Wars films. Whoa, hey can we reign these in a little? Absorbing Dwight’s soul to the netherworld is one thing but this makes me uncomfortable to read
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Mar 25, 2021 17:00
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Jim tricks mose into homosexual intercourse, Dwight is simultaneously angry and aroused.
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Mar 25, 2021 17:53
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After secretly spending years acquiring the schooling and experience needed, Jim is ordained a Catholic priest. He waits for Dwight to mention he's attending confession, and then arranges with his normal parish priest to hear them that day. When Dwight enters the confessional, Jim begins live streaming and recording each of Dwights embarrassing, gross sins. Upon returning to the office the following week, multiple co-workers begin asking Dwight how his absolutions are going for the specific sins that he confessed.
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Mar 25, 2021 18:06
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jim sneaks into dwights farmhouse and replaces all his high quality free range farm eggs with the cheapest ones he can find
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Mar 25, 2021 18:15
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Jim tells Dwight he hasn't seen ANY reports of wind gusts or sandstorms on the day's weather report and wishes him a smooth trip through the canal while panning to the camera
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Mar 25, 2021 18:22
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After a heated discussion about droid rights in the Star Wars universe Jim dares Dwight to call Mace Windu the n-word.
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Mar 25, 2021 18:40
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When Dwight was born, Mater Schrute traveled over all of Midgard and spoke to every bird, beast, fowl, plant, and stone. She did not rest until every living thing and every object had pledged never to harm Dwight. With this pledge, it was impossible for Dwight to get hurt. Even the strongest blows bounced off of him. He could not drown or burn. Unbeknownst to Mater Schrute, she overlooked a single sprig of holly high in the boughs of an ancient tree. When Dwight attained adulthood, he went to work at Dunder Mifflin. A favorite office pastime was for everyone in the office to throw things at Dwight and watch them bounce off. The scene opens on the denizens of the office doing their best to harm Dwight. Michael Scott beaks a baseball bat across the back of Dwight's head, and Dwight just laughs. Angela breaks a liquor bottle on the desk and tries to stab Dwight, but the shards will not pierce his skin. Everyone has a good laugh as even their most violent attempts to harm Dwight came to nothing. Jim, steps forward, smirking. He holds up a single sprig of holly. Everyone in the office laughs. Dwight mocks Jim. "Seriously, Jim? Pathetic as always." Jim throws the holly at Dwight. The holly pierces Dwight's throat and Dwight falls to the ground, gurgling as his lifeblood pours from him. Jim mugs the camera.
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Mar 26, 2021 20:21
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Jim tackles Dwight after a recent emergency appendectomy, rupturing 10 of Dwight's 16 stitches, causing him to die of blood loss in the hallway of a Florida hotel. Jim smirks at the camera, Dwight's blood smeared across his face.
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Mar 27, 2021 04:57
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Applewhite posted:Jim eats an entire 18” pizza in one sitting then shits it out on Dwight’s desk. "The whole pizza was intact, even with toppings. I wasn't even mad. How could I be?"
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Mar 27, 2021 07:35
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QuarkJets posted:"The whole pizza was intact, even with toppings. I wasn't even mad. How could I be?" Creed: "of course I ate it. Why let a pizza go out waste?"
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Mar 27, 2021 08:25
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Jim has a change of heart and helps Dwight whenever possible. They bond greatly and hang out all the time, like besties do. They sacrifice things for each other and become the ones each other comes to for comfort. On Dwight's deathbed he thanks Jim for being such an amazing person and friend. Jim smugly smirks and says, "I was never your friend" as Dwight passes away, a look of horror on his face.
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Mar 27, 2021 09:20
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Jim draws an inverted pentagram in the ceiling space above Dwight's desk - preventing good vibes from reaching Dwight while he's working. Feeling kinda bummed Dwight asks Jim "Bro, I feel like this place is kinda bumming me out bro. You feeling some negative vibes bro?" Jim says "No bro, totally copacetic over here bro." before looking directly at the camera and making a shaka sign.
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Mar 27, 2021 09:47
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Jim explains to Dwight that walking downtown Scranton with that red bandana in his back pocket is a great way to meet new investors for his Onion-Beet hybrid startup
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Mar 27, 2021 17:03
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Jim thanks Dwight for having his money on time. Dwight stammers to respond that he doesn't know what Jim means. Jim slaps the poo poo out of Dwight in the employee cafeteria in front of everyone and then flicks his toothpick at him while loudly exclaiming "YOU BETTER." before storming off.
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Mar 27, 2021 17:09
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Jim moves Dwight's stapler so that it faces south instead of south by southeast and the resultant disruption of feng shui causes Dwight to poo poo his pants
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Mar 27, 2021 17:15
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Jim skips town and commits suicide in a grimy motel using a varmint rifle stolen from the Schrute beet farm, but not before covering himself with Dwight's pilfered semen. Jim having left a trail of false evidence implicating Dwight, Dwight is arrested for Jim's rape and murder. 5 years later, Dwight is strapped to the execution gurney. He notices a familiar figure among the witnesses, only recognizing that telltale smirk through all the facial hair and plastic surgery after his heart has stopped beating.
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Mar 27, 2021 17:29
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Who What Now posted:Jim moves Dwight's stapler so that it faces south instead of south by southeast and the resultant disruption of feng shui causes Dwight to poo poo his pants lol
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Mar 27, 2021 19:05
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Jim puts his butt inside Dwight's butt, as a prank. I film it, also as a prank.
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Mar 27, 2021 19:23
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As punishment for his feckless, disloyal betrayal of Dunder-Mifflin by taking a job at Staples, Jim punishes Dwight to spend eternity riding endlessly hither and th other, buffeted by the winds
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Mar 27, 2021 19:27
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| # ? May 30, 2024 23:19 |
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Dwight, resplendent in his C3P0 costume for Halloween, appears on Jim's doorstep. Jim gleefully appreciates his friends costume and hands him a candy apple. Dwight later eats it and swallows a razor.
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Mar 27, 2021 19:32
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