BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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«‹›1996 »

Moleboy: Apr 20, 2011; Looksy
-Hindsight-

Looking Back, I am sure of 2 things:
1. I should have found the thread before it finished
2. Grimper may have actually done one or two things wrong

P-Raptors will take 2016 David Robertson.

Slot him in for Al Holland in Short Relief for now.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 21:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 28, 2024 17:48

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

Moleboy posted:

P-Raptors will take 2016 David Robertson.

Slot him in for Al Holland in Short Relief for now.

I just simmed so unfortunately he won't be in this week's update but I'll have him good to go for next week.

Speaking of which Sub-Par Week 21 Injury Report

Luna Landers
Addison Reed (That's it it's just him and he's in the minors) - 30 days

# ? Mar 27, 2021 21:18

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

DL the injured Hoffman, Call up Lee Smith and put him in at MR for him.

Send Tony Gwynn down to the minors, call up Billy Hamilton. Put Billy Hamilton in at CF for Ty Cobb wherever he is in lineups.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 21:36

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

CraigK, please apologize to that witch.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 01:48

Craig K: Nov 10, 2016; puck

Pungry posted:

CraigK, please apologize to that witch.

she knows what she did.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 01:56

Scr00bins: Sep 10, 2020

Scr00bins posted:

MW TB&S selects 1970 Nolan Ryan

Nolan Ryan to starter 3. Bert Blyleven to Starter 5. Tom Seaver to Starter 4. Keith Foulke to minors. Frank Viola to Short Relief.

Ken Griffey Jr. in RF vs Righties.

Scr00bins fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Mar 28, 2021

# ? Mar 28, 2021 02:16

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

"What is the purpose of all this?" he asked politely.

"Must everything have a purpose?" asked God.

"Certainly," said man.

"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God.

And He went away.

Introducing The San Lorenzo Bokononists

Team Logo (150x150 preferred):

Home City: San Lorenzo (as played by Miami, Florida)

Home Stadium:

30-Man Roster:

C: Bill Dickey (1937 Yankees)
1B: Lou Gehrig (1937 Yankees)
2B: Craig Biggio (1997 Astros)
3B: Larry Gardner (1912 Red Sox)
SS: Hughie Jennings (1900 Superbas)
LF: Joe Kelley (1900 Superbas)
CF: Tris Speaker (1912 Red Sox)
RF: Willie Keeler (1900 Superbas)
DH: Jeff Bagwell (1997 Astros)

IF: Bill Dahlen (1900 Superbas)
IF: Red Rolfe (1937 Yankees)
IF: Tony Lazzeri (1937 Yankees)
OF: Joe DiMaggio (1937 Yankees)
OF: Harry Hooper (1912 Red Sox)

SP: Smokey Joe Wood (1912 Red Sox)
SP: Eddie Cicotte (1912 Red Sox)
SP: Joe McGinnity (1900 Superbas)
SP: Bill Donovan (1900 Superbas)
SP: Lefty Gomez (1937 Yankees)

RP: Billy Wagner (1997 Astros)
RP: Red Ruffing (1937 Yankees)
RP: Johnny Murphy (1937 Yankees)
RP: Doc McJames (1900 Superbas)
RP: Harry Howell (1900 Superbas)
RP: Sid Fernandez (1937 Yankees)

AAA:

SP: Ray Collins (1937 Yankees)
SP: Spud Chandler (1937 Yankees)
SP: Pat Malone (1937 Yankees)
IF: Lave Cross (1900 Superbas)
OF: Bobby Abreu (1997 Astros)

Lineups:

vs RHP
Tris Speaker CF
Lou Gehrig 1B
Joe Kelley LF
Jeff Bagwell DH
Bill Dickey C
Willie Keeler RF
Hughie Jennings SS
Larry Gardener 3B
Craig Biggio 2B

vs LHP
Joe Kelley LF
Tris Speaker CF
Jeff Bagwell DH
Lou Gehrig 1B
Bill Dickey C
Willie Keeler RF
Hughie Jennings SS
Craig Biggio 2B
Bill Dahlen 3B

Hit and Run: 2
Sacrifice Bunt: -4
Squeeze Play: -1
Trying for extra bases: 4
Stealing Bases: 5
Aggressively Tagging Up: 4
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): -4
Giving Intentional Walks: -3
Pitching Around Good Hitters: 1
Bringing the Infield In: -4
Guarding the Lines: 0
Making Cutoff Throws: 2
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: -2
Bringing in Pinch Runners: -5
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: 0
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: -3
Letting pitchers pitch throw trouble: 4
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: 4

code:

dickebi01,1937
gehrilo01,1937
biggicr01,1997
gardnla01,1912
jennihu01,1900
kellejo01,1900
speaktr01,1912
keelewi01,1900
bagweje01,1997
dahlebi01,1900
rolfere01,1937
lazzeto01,1937
dimagjo01,1937
hoopeha01,1912
woodjo02,1912
cicoted01,1912
mcginjo01,1900
donovbi01,1900
gomezle01,1937
wagnebi02,1997
ruffire01,1937
murphjo04,1937
mcjamdo01,1900
howelha01,1900
fernasi01,1997
collira01,1912
chandsp01,1937
malonpa02,1937
crossla01,1900
abreubo01,1997

# ? Mar 28, 2021 08:16

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

Swap the returning Clayton Kershaw & Nolan Ryan

With Mariano out - send him down. New Closer is Exodus Concannon. New Set-Up is Rich Gossage. Replace the now empty SR spot with ... John Smoltz I guess!

# ? Mar 28, 2021 15:21

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

The Diamond Joe Bidens select 2016 Tommy Kahnle. He can go to the minors for the moment.

Sorry about the delay, GPope and the Forgettables are up.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 18:13

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XXX, Week 22 Injury Report

Arlen Propane Sellers
Mariano Rivera (RP) (Vaya...con dios) - 26 days

Garreg Mach Golden Deer
Harry Heilmann (OF) (Professor....I have a task for you. Find Harry Heilmann's missing tibia) - 8 days
Kevin Brown (SP) (Nothing of value was lost!) - 26 days

Oklahoma City Bombers
Paul Molitor (IF) (Ironically, a bad batch of Molly) - 18 days

Portland Panderers
Madison Bumgarner (SP) (OH NO!) - 14 days

World Warriors
Roberto Osuna (RP) (The Super-League is a more just place than the real world) - 10 days

Pick 'em: Running Out of Time

Omni-Titles
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Akabira Killer Mikes

Grand Slam Championships
Raleigh Red Pandas (c) @ Los Angeles Misanthropes

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:00

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Champs retain.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:02

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Ws retain, Ms take

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:06

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

This is the best injury update for justice on Osuna. Champs lose!

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:11

blakelmenakle: Sep 1, 2007; AHEM! There's sand on my boots!

Champs retain

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:21

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

gently caress Roberto Osuna!

Champs retain

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:34

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pick'Em: Champs retain.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:47

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

Pick 'em: Running Out of Time

Omni-Titles
South Bolton Eazy W's (c) @ Akabira Killer Mikes

Grand Slam Championships
Raleigh Red Pandas (c) @ Los Angeles Misanthropes

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:32

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

Champs retain

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:39

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Pick em: W's retain, Misanthropes take.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:53

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

all champs retain!

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:12

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

The Champs!!

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:33

CirclMastr: Jul 4, 2010

Champs retain

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:42

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Mikes take, Panda's retain.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 22:36

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Reposting for visibility:

1920 Yankees - 4
1935 Tigers - 4
1994 Expos - 3

Team Name: Center Line Sneki Sneks

Team Logo (150x150 preferred):

Home City: Center Line, MI

Home Stadium: Chroma Stadium
Grass surface; excellent quality; excellent visibility, medium length grass
LF: 330
LCF: 385
CF: 420
RCF: 370
RF: 320
Foul Ground Size: Small
Outdoors

30-Man Roster:
pippwa01,1920
ruthba01,1920
odoulle01,1920
maysca01,1920
shawkbo01,1920
meusebo01,1920
quinnja01,1920
peckiro01,1920
prattde01,1920
bodiepi01,1920
cochrmi01,1935
greenha01,1935
gehrich01,1935
rogelbi01,1935
gosligo01,1935
rowesc01,1935
bridgto01,1935
aukerel01,1935
fletcda01,1994
floydcl01,1994
aloumo01,1994
cordewi01,1994
grissma02,1994
walkela01,1994
martipe02,1994
hillke01,1994
wettejo01,1994
rojasme01,1994
heredgi01,1994
shawje01,1994

Lineups:
vs RHP
Marquis Grissom - CF
Charlie Gehringer - 2B
Babe Ruth - LF
Larry Walker - RF
Mickey Cochrane - C
Goose Goslin - DH
Hank Greenberg - 1B
Roger Peckinpaugh - SS
Bob Meusel - 3B

vs LHP
Marquis Grissom - CF
Charlie Gehringer - 2B
Babe Ruth - LF
Larry Walker - RF
Mickey Cochrane - C
Moises Alou - DH
Hank Greenberg - 1B
Roger Peckinpaugh - SS
Bob Meusel - 3B

Pitching Rotation:

Carl Mays
Pedro Martinez
Schoolboy Rowe
Bob Shawkey
Tommy Bridges

Bullpen
CL: John Wetteland
SU: Mel Rojas
SR: Gil Heredia
SR: Jeff Shaw
MR: Ken Hill
LR: Jack Quinn

Strategy (Rate on a scale from -5 to +5)

Hit and Run:-2
Sacrifice Bunt:-5
Squeeze Play:-5
Trying for extra bases:+5
Stealing Bases:+2
Aggressively Tagging Up:+2
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases):0
Giving Intentional Walks:-5
Pitching Around Good Hitters:0
Bringing the Infield In:+5
Guarding the Lines:+5
Making Cutoff Throws:+5
Bringing in Pinch Hitters:0
Bringing in Pinch Runners:-5
Bringing in Defensive Replacements:-5
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest:+3
Letting pitchers pitch throw trouble:+5
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts:+2

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:02

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

HulkaMatt posted:

all champs retain!

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:32

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

champs retain

# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:58

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

Sub-Par League 18: Week 21: I Clench My Fist and Beat It

Week 21 QuikCaps, brought to you by the DEATH GRIPS posted:

The California Otters are extremely unlucky to be in a division with four of the better teams in the Sub-Par. Meanwhile, the Deck Chairs remain in contention for the division title, sitting just two back of the Bidens with just over a month to play. They�re tied for the best pythagorean record in the entire Sub-Par, two games is nothing if they start performing to expectations.

The Trainwrecks have had a tough season, but they took this series from the Bidens. I�m pretty sure it didn�t help that Robb Nen, the middle reliever, got a start. It�s not even that he and the rest of the Diamond Joe pen were bad, but Addie Joss stifled the Biden bats after the first inning and eventually something was going to give.

The Forgettables have the best player in the Sadland division in El Shaddai, but even he can�t resist the allure of BBC. I hear Frankenfreak is giving out Sadness Cookies to everyone his club defeats as they inch towards reclamation of their death grip on the division.

Don�t look away from the Shinra division, though, because the SoDak hordes are back in the hunt. At only 3.5 games out they�ve got as much a claim to a promotion as anyone else. Zodiac5000 is coming, and he�s bringing hell and hotdish with him. The authors of the Sub-Par would further like to apologize to him for mixing him up with Pash in one of the recent Sub-Par updates.

In the Frowntown League, the Landers continue to scuffle, losing a series to the Machine Guns before taking two out of three from the Philosoraptors. The Raptors continue to fight for Gauntlet positioning, as of today they would enter the Gauntlet in the very first round. There are very few teams to have survived such a difficult start, but the Raptors are only a half game off the Trainwrecks to escape the first round.

Atop the Xanatos division the Dragons just won�t die. They�ve moved within two of the Machine Guns, thanks to a dominant sweep of the division leaders in Mexico City. The two play one more series in Mexico City before the season ends, and the division title could hinge on the outcome.

Dropping a series to an underperforming Winnipeg team is not recommended, Beet. Despite that, you�re still in second place and only three games back of the Mosquitoes. The Monarchs are 8.5 games back of the Umbrella leading Machine Guns, and probably need to start thinking about the harrowing to come.

And, lastly, we have the Milan Mosquitoes, who retain their STRANGLEHOLD on the Geese Howard division despite getting swept by the London Calling. The_Goog�s whereabouts remain unknown after an experiment went awry due to SoDak Super-League Agent Pash, but his team is back to .500 and very much alive.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 01:14

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

ENIX SLIMES

Replace Cabrera with Mize
Replace Ripken with Wagner
Replace Bonds with Burkett, Bench Bonds
Put Piazza in at DH

# ? Mar 29, 2021 01:50

Ablative: Nov 9, 2012; Someone is getting this as an avatar. I don't know who, but it's gonna happen.

You know, if you told me two months ago that a container ship lodging itself in the Suez Canal would lead to me making a baseball team that plays on a pair of said container ships welded together with a baseball stadium on top, I'd be very confused.
I'd be less confused if you told me the gimmick. I do not expect to survive.

Ablative posted:

I know even less than KungFu Grip. Also most of this is out of my hands as I'm using random.org. So blame them, not me.

E: I would like to apologise to literally everyone involved

Team Name: Seventh Sea Chancers

Team Logo:

Home City: Any port in a storm, mate!

Home Stadium: HMM Algeciras-Copenhagen (on loan)
Altitude: Sea Level
Structure: Open
Surface: Turf
Dimensions: 500-500-500-450-400
Infield Quality: Fair
Infield Grass: Medium
Visibility: Poor
Foul Ground: Tiny

Feeders:

1995 Milwaukee Brewers
1896 Louisville Colonels
2017 Cleveland Indians
1950 Detroit Tigers
1981 San Diego Padres
1888 Brooklyn Bridegrooms
1894 Brooklyn Grooms
2019 Chicago White Sox
1898 St. Louis Browns
1958 Kansas City A's
1982 Minnesota Twins
1910 Cincinnati Reds

(all 1pt)

Strategy:

Hit and Run: 0
Sacrifice Bunt 5:
Squeeze Play: -5
Trying for extra bases: 0
Stealing Bases: 0
Aggressively Tagging Up: 5
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): -5
Giving Intentional Walks: -3
Pitching Around Good Hitters: 3
Bringing the Infield In: -5
Guarding the Lines: -1
Making Cutoff Throws: -5
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: 4
Bringing in Pinch Runners: 1
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: -5
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: -4
Letting pitchers pitch throw trouble: 1
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: 0

30-Man:

1995 B.J. Surhoff - C
1995 Steve Sparks - P
1896 Pete Cassidy - 1B
1896 Herm McFarland - CF
2017 Gio Urshela - 2B
2017 Abraham Almonte - RF
1950 George Kell - 3B
1950 Hoot Evers - LF
1981 Mike Phillips - SS
1981 John Curtis - P
1888 Bob Clark - C
1888 Bob Caruthers - P
1894 George Shoch - LF
1894 John Anderson - RF
2019 Ryan Cordell - CF
2019 Danny Mendick - SS
1898 George Decker - 1B
1898 Jack Taylor - P
1958 Milt Graff - 2B
1958 Ned Garver - P
1982 Pete Redfern - P
1982 Albert Williams - P
1910 Bill Burns - P
1910 Jack Rowan - P
2017 Trevor Bauer - P

AAA

1981 Jerry Turner - RF
1982 Paul Boris - P
1910 Mike Mitchell - LF
1950 Dick Kryhoski - 1B
1958 Whitey Herzog - CF

Lineups:

vs. RHP

Pete Cassidy - 1B
Gio Urshela - 2B
Ryan Cordell - DH
Hoot Evers - LF
Abraham Almonte - RF
George Kell - 3B
B.J. Surhoff - C
Mike Phillips - SS
Herm McFarland - CF

vs. LHP

George Kell - 3B
Gio Urshela - 2B
B.J. Surhoff - C
Pete Cassidy - 1B
Hoot Evers - LF
Herm McFarland - CF
Abraham Almonte - RF
Ryan Cordell - DH
Mike Phillips - SS

Pitching Rotation

Jack Rowan
Albert Williams
Ned Garver
Pete Redfern
Trevor Bauer

Bullpen

Steve Sparks
Bill Burns
John Curtis
Jack Taylor
Bob Caruthers

surhobj01,1995
sparkst01,1995
cassipe01,1896
mcfarhe01,1896
urshegi01,2017
almonab01,2017
kellge01,1950
eversho01,1950
phillmi01,1981
curtijo01,1981
clarkbo01,1888
carutbo01,1888
shochge01,1894
anderjo01,1894
cordery01,2019
mendida01,2019
deckege01,1898
tayloja01,1898
graffmi01,1958
garvene01,1958
redfepe01,1982
willial03,1982
burnsbi01,1910
rowanja01,1910
bauertr01,2017

turneje01,1981
borispa01,1982
mitchmi01,1910
kryhodi01,1950
herzowh01,1958

# ? Mar 29, 2021 03:04

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

Champs Retain.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 03:05

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

Howdy all you expansion teams. I'm the guy running the Expansion Cup this year. To do so, I need everyone's final rosters and CSVs posted in here. Thanks to cbx, Monicro, and Ablative for already posting yours. As such, I need these guys to post their roster before I can start:

Jampact
Chamale
Clown Fundamentals
Theosqua
KungFu Grip
Izzysaurus

Ideally, I get these rosters and can start this before I start my new job next Monday.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 04:02

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

TheMcD posted:

Pick'Em: Champs retain.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 04:23

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Gibson in for Piazza

# ? Mar 29, 2021 04:36

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Champs retain as per the usual

# ? Mar 29, 2021 05:38

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Well poo poo. Madbum is actually good this year. And I want to beat matt.

Crap.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 06:31

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

https://lpix.org/3821700/Team08-ABanner.png

before the AI does anything stupid

release Ed Killian

# ? Mar 29, 2021 06:40

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

This loving division! :suspense:

# ? Mar 29, 2021 07:11

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Boatmen

Berra back in for Tettleton
Mays back in for Edmonds
Walker in for Aaron

Slowly drifting down the River Styx towards my end once more...

# ? Mar 29, 2021 17:00

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XXX, Week 22: And soon, we will be free

Emergency Words posted:

CattMarp walked into the office, and saw mentholmoose sitting on the exam table. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Hey, I need some medical advice." mentholmoose said.

"Hold on." CattMarp said, "You can't just come in here and start asking for medical advice. That's not how it works. You need to call my office and make an appointment."

"Really?" mentholmoose asked.

CattMarp reached into a nearby drawer, and pulled out a business card. "Here you go."

mentholmoose, irritated, looked at the card, and then took out his phone, dialing the number. "Dr. CattMarp's office!" HulkaMatt said on the other end. "This is the HulkaMatt!"

"HulkaMatt is your secretary?" mentholmoose asked.

"He's just helping out at the office." CattMarp said.

"Whatever." mentholmoose said. "Hey, HulkaMatt, I need to meet CattMarp for important doctor stuff."

"I can pencil you in for Week 27." HulkaMatt said.

"What?" mentholmoose said, irritated. "There is no Week 27. There is never going to be a Week 27."

"Oh, right." HulkaMatt said. "I guess I can fit you in for an appointment in Week 17."

"We're already past Week 17." mentholmoose said.

"Oh. I guess you can come in now." HulkaMatt said.

"Great." mentholmoose said.

CattMarp's phone rang. "Hello? An appointment, you say? Okay, tell him that I'll be there in fifteen minutes." He said, before leaving the office.

mentholmoose stared in confusion before receiving a call of his own. "Mr. Minty Moose." HulkaMatt said. "Dr. CattMarp will be there in fifteen minutes."

"What? But he was just here!" mentholmoose said.

"Dr. CattMarp is a very busy man." HulkaMatt said.

"Really? What is he doing right now?" mentholmoose asked.

"Let me check." HulkaMatt said. "He is doing a Soduku. Doing Soduku? I'm not sure how you say it."

"So, he's goofing off?" mentholmoose realized that he probably could just get out of the office and walk the fifteen feet to have this conversation with HulkaMatt in person, but didn't feel much like getting up.

"It's important that he exercises his brain. The brain is the most important muscle, you know." HulkaMatt answered.

"The brain isn't a muscle." mentholmoose said.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure that you're just the patient, and I'm the guy working in a doctor's office. I think I know what a muscle is."

"What?" mentholmoose wished desperately that there was another doctor in the Super-League.

"It's pink and does stuff. Just like all of the other muscles." HulkaMatt said. "It's basic biology."

"You know what? I'm just going to wait in silence." mentholmoose said before hanging up.

Twenty minutes later, CattMarp finally re-entered the office, holding a chart. "Mr...." CattMarp read the chart, "Minty Moose? What can I do for you?"

"You know my name is mentholmoose!" mentholmoose said.

"I have it as Minty Moose." CattMarp said. "Well, I can fix it, it'll only take me a couple of hours to-"

"It's fine." mentholmoose said, unwilling to tolerate further delays. "Who cares. I need T."

"You need T?" CattMarp said.

"Right. My team is in last place, and and it's clear to me that the only reason that I, a former Super-League champion, would be doing so badly is because I have low T." mentholmoose explained.

"You mean testosterone?" CattMarp asked.

"Yeah, so I need a prescription for some." mentholmoose said.

"I don't know that your team sucks because you have low levels of testosterone. For that matter, I don't even know that you do have low levels of testosterone." CattMarp said. "I really don't think you need testosterone."

"I was reading a thread on SA, and the guys in that thread sure made it sound like feeling listless and not performing well could be fixed with T." mentholmoose said. "They made a good case."

"What? Why is their a thread on SA about that? What thread is this?" CattMarp asked.

"It's the steroid thread." mentholmoose answered. "It's about taking steroids. They give you tips, like where to get it, and how to use it, and what other stuff you have to take to sure that it doesn't cause your estrogen to rise at the same time."

"Okay, well, while it is true that taking a lot of extra testosterone can make your estrogen levels go up-" CattMarp tried to explain.

"So, you're saying the steroid thread guys know their stuff." mentholmoose said.

"No! You still shouldn't be injected yourself with extra testosterone. It's not going to keep your team out of the repechage." CattMarp answered.

"The thread guaranteed results! They said that it sounded like all of my problems were caused by low T! I have to get my T up!" mentholmoose countered. "It's that or actually try and figure how to make my team play better, and that seems like a lot of work, and while I'd like to be able to do that much work, I'm just too tired, because of my low T."

"It's probably not low T that's making you tired." CattMarp said. "And it's almost definitely not low T that is killing your team."

"Hey, listen, CattMarp, the advice I'm getting is from a thread on SA, the Super-League is a thread on SA, it's like that whole thing, you know, 'as above, so below.'"

"No, you can't take advice from the threads on SA. If there was a thread that told you how to inject yourself with opioids, would you be doing that?" CattMarp asked.

"I know the opioids thread has instructions on how to get the opioids out of pills, but I can't remember if they have instructions for shooting up. I guess I should look at that." mentholmoose said. "Definitely some instructions for how to grow mushrooms, though. Do you need some mushrooms? I've gotten good at growing mushrooms."

****

CraigK carefully adjusted the last of the couch cushions. Satisfied, he took a look at the mighty pillow fort he had constructed in the lobby of kw0134's office, before carefully entering into the small opening at the front, and then drawing down a blanket to cover the entrance behind him.

He took a moment to look at the wall. CraigK admitted to himself that, in a traditional pillow fort, the fort would be freestanding, and not use any existing walls. In this case, however, he felt compelled to make a compromise. He needed access to an outlet so that he could keep his computer charged, otherwise, the entire point of this fortress, where he could play his computer games without getting interrupted by any other Super-League owner, not to mention their cruel, vicious pets, CraigK still shuddered to think of kensei's evil corgi, would be lost.

CraigK's thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door open and footsteps. "Oh, come on." He heard kw0134 said. "CraigK, did you make a pillow fort in my office?"

"You don't know it's me!" CraigK protested.

"It is clearly a fairy dragon-sized pillow fort!" kw0134 countered. "And there is only one fairy dragon in the Super-League."

"You don't know that! For all we know, tatankatonk was a fairy dragon all along! How well do we really know him?" CraigK protested.

"So, under this scenario, you are tatankatonk, and to throw me off the trail, you are suggesting that you are-" kw0134 tried to unscramble CraigK's logic before realizing the futility of the attempt. "Why are you in a pillow fort?"

"The Super-League is scary and mean! I was attacked by a dog! And now one seems to care! It was a giant, evil dog, and it tried to kill me!" CraigK protested.

"It was a tiny dog." kw0134 corrected CraigK. "Actually, it was a puppy."

"It was a dog of death!" CraigK said, still hiding in his fort. "It was out for blood! My blood!"

"CraigK, you can't hide from your problems forever." kw0134 said.

"I don't need to hide forever. I just need to outlast the dog. How long do corgis live?" CraigK asked.

kw0134 consulted Wikipedia, "It says that corgis live for about 12 years. According to this, Pembroke corgis live one month longer, on average, than Cardigan corgis. Do you know what type of corgi it was that attacked you?"

"All corgis are the same! They're murderous hellbeasts! All of them!" CraigK peaked out from under the blanket, making sure that kw0134 hadn't, in an act of treachery, brought the dog into the office, "And if you don't think I can't wait in this fort for 12 years, then you don't know me at all!"

Games of the Week

RETAIN!

RETAIN!

CraigK, that is not what I told you to do at all! TheMcD might as well just get out his celebratory Sorrow Cookies right now, and pour himself a glass of Despair Juice, the most popular drink in all of Germany (and large chunks of Switzerland and Austria and, oddly, parts of Italy), because the Demon Hunters now have a seven game lead with four weeks to play!

I can't believe the Goats were slain by a fellow member of the Triad. My heart breaks to see that Pash's willingness to betray his friends, albeit something already proven by the time Pash treacherously refused to pick up Zodiac5000 from that bar, runs so deep that he has killed the Goats. Truly, a dark day for the very concept of friendship.

Team Statistics

Standings

# ? Mar 29, 2021 23:09

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# ? May 28, 2024 17:48

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

Sub-Par League Week 22 Injury Report: Boycotting Funny Jokes Because the Warriors Suck poo poo

Baseball Club
Diego Segui - 10 days

Krakow Dragons
Buddy Myer - 12 days

Midwest T-Ball & Supply
Lou Gehrig - 24 days

Styx Boatmen
Frank Robinson - 11 days

# ? Mar 30, 2021 01:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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