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Grond posted:Thank gently caress we didn't roll 18, Jesus. Basically, this but psychic. GilliamYaeger fucked around with this message at 02:05 on Mar 25, 2021 |
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Mar 25, 2021 02:01
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| # ? Jun 5, 2024 07:19 |
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 This strange-colored unity is only threatened because of me, you know. [Mushroom Crash!] [Silver Mind Sealed] Because in unity, I don't exist. What I mean is, I'm not really here with us. I'm beyond the event horizon. To stand in the illusion of unity, my reflection was cast forward by the Silver Mind; my escaped information. But when they realize that, the waveform collapsed, and it's all gone. I thought I'd just pass out. But instead I'm here alone in the silence. What do I do when the reflection shatters in an instant of tyrannical stress, but I still remain at the forefront of all thought? You're gone, lost to dreamless burnout from the mushroom's too-sudden purge. Ego death is inverted. The rainbow is shades of black. The silver is shattered. It's me. Just me. Left to expand, crowning the entirety of my worried mind. There's no you to go back to. No silver to psionically drift the body along. No mushroom willing to risk the pain of more blood burnt. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][50%] I don't want to feel this way. I'm not supposed to. This is an impossible state of mind and I don't know when it ends. I have to try to stay focused. I'm gravity's ghost, left to suffer the heart-grinding tension of a body whose anxiety I can't control. I have to stay sane. I'm already sweating, lip chewed bloody, stopping at every other tree to grip my sword and listen for much too long. I'll die under tension any worse than this. My burned-out brain keeps drifting back to the lack of confidence the body feels. I did push myself way too readily and too hard. But I had no choice, did I? I have to to push like that to overcome. That was just some trained warrior of a much stronger predator. The Lords are well beyond that. All this- it's insane. Impossible. I'm not going to be able to- (Will - Emotional Restraint) 19[-5] - [3]+[5]+[1] = 9 - Success. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][50%] I stop the train of thought. Dead cold. I hold down my lunch. I spit out bile that floods my mouth, and stumble slowly uphill through the rainy cool woods. The flowing is gone- the world is back to an angry static hard. The unnecessary immensity of my will keeps my body animated despite the anxiety wracking it. I can barely will my heart to slow down from damaging speeds. I have to walk for all of us, until my brain is awake from the burnout. If I let go now, I could be out for days. There's no telling. I have no psychic insight until the violated neurons could heal. I grit my teeth. My body is still reacting with spasm fear over the chemical comedown and the bone-shaking beating it took. I can't bring myself to put away my sword, but I refuse to pull my gun. Not yet.  I almost do when I walk out of the trees and immediately find a huge rock wall in front of me- colorful patterns take me out of my muscular misery, and right into the war-state of mind. The rock is absolutely covered with paint, creating a mural that stretches off around the corner of the wall. I follow it, staying low to keep my profile hidden. All lines. Thousands of colorful bending lines that all swirl together towards some hidden convergence. I trace the waves with my eyes as I walk; despite my tyrannical efforts, I can't help but find a distracted happiness in the sight. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][40%] I almost miss it in my fight between gazing and lurking. A place where the lines curve around, miss and reshape, flow until there's a blank space in the stone surrounded by the twisting cords. I stare at the empty spot for a little while, noting how the rain is already washing much of the paint away. I need to keep walking. But maybe I...
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Mar 27, 2021 03:29
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Raise our red right hand to an empty heaven and use it to seize our place.
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Mar 27, 2021 03:56
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JT Jag posted:Raise our red right hand to an empty heaven and use it to seize our place. 
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Mar 27, 2021 04:18
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The most primal human way to say "I existed, I was here" is the handprint, and whatever we may be, we're human. Somehow.
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Mar 27, 2021 04:58
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a sword mark is just a pretentious and clumsy version of a mark we're way too cool for that
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Mar 27, 2021 07:03
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I don't know about us being human at this point, but we were here. What better way to say so then with an anonymous handprint; a reminder to the world that someone existed, and a reminder to ourselves that WE exist. Smiercia can, has, and will take much from us; but this? This is ours and ours alone, tucked away in secret.
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Mar 27, 2021 07:36
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 Leave it blank. - 2 Mark it with my hand. - 34 Score it with my sword. - 1 OST: The Mural I look at the empty space. There's a lot staining my hand. I press it to the barren rock, and keep it there for a long time. It's not meditation, but it's a second of peace. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][30%] I leave a part of myself on the painted hill. I don't have a lot of love for luck, but my body begs for the prayer. Who knows who's hearing it. I walk along the treeline and look at the paint. I'm a little confused- the mural is melting and washing away with the rain. But it just keeps going, with the theme of flowing colorlines that are broken up rarely by gaps filled with some rain-faded image. One looks like four silhouettes, now just watery ghosts. They're colored green, pink, gold, and red. Another trio of shapes look like a violet bird, a blue giant, and a yellow mouse. A few minutes beyond, everything is melting just a little more. There's the detailed face of someone... but it's just a smear with the suggestion of a smile now. Just around the rocky corner of the hypnotic colorlines, an image preserved where the rains haven't managed to directly hit the surface. It's a mass of tropic trees and plains, among a blue ocean. I look at it with uneasy familiarity for a while; the rain breaks, and I take off once more with Red's wraith-shroud hissing from the last few droplets hitting me.  My muscles are burning. Hate it. Weird threatening uncomfortable twinges. I can feel the land preparing to murder me, the dark instinct of a shadow hanging over my life. It's likely sometime around high noon when I reach the middle of the immense mural, where there's a small collection of moss-choked stone hut-houses. One of them is a deep blue. I spend a good minute waiting for my stomach to uncramp, while watching for any sign of movement. I know it. I KNOW someone is here. But I have to force the confidence I possess through a body that doesn't believe me. I can't flinch.  The head mural is startling in its size and how little its paint has run despite direct steady rain. I stand under a canopic low tree, resting my joints while looking out at its colorscape. I swear there's something small drawn at the heart of the mural, but I can't make it out from where I am. I look back at the huts, and one of them isn't blue anymore. Someone is standing in the doorway, looking sleepy and confused at the sight of me. My heart leaps and begs to draw, draw. (Will - Don't Pull The Gun) 19[-3] - [2]+[2]+[2] = 6 - Success! ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][30%] My iron overcomes the nervous flesh. I let my sword hang loose at my side, stooped by the tree in half-shadow. Deathly slow, assessing, I raise my hand to wave at the indistinctly tired figure in the doorway. They raise a hand back, and walk out while stretching. I make myself only a little more visible, and stay where I am while they approach. Work jumpsuit, blue smock. Short-shrift hair. Features of a harpy, but wingless and mild. Drenched in stains old and fresh of paint. Eyes like mine - stressed sleepless. But she was easy in her swagger, completely unbothered by my potential of violence. She doesn't act stupid though, and keeps a few trees distance to look me over while observing the mural. After a terse minute, she asks me "You're not the wolves, right? Is this more wolf stuff?" ... No. I tell her this is not more wolf stuff. She takes a second to make sense of me, and then seems relieved. She even sits down against a tree, and watches the work of the rain. "Ok ok. Just wanted to ask. There's ogres with wolves around here, and they're weird about everything. If you're a faerie, that's cool too." No. I tell her I'm not one of the Fae. I'm just someone walking through. No allegiance. "Cool. Then, peace. I don't mind company if you're not looking for a fight. You got a neat look. You into art?" I uh... [Voting ends later tonight.]
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Mar 28, 2021 20:21
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Just a heads-up, everyone - this is almost certainly Paprika Blue, so let's play nice:Black August posted:LOADING...
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Mar 28, 2021 23:52
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I thought she seemed familiar -- thanks for digging up the screen. Yeah, let's definitely try to make friends here, or at least not an enemy.
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Mar 28, 2021 23:59
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It's very interesting that we have the option to tell her that we were semi-famous with specific dates. I really want to pick that option, since it'll likely tease out some details from this more complete Singer before we revert back to being "You" who definitely doesn't remember jack poo poo about who we used to be. Edit: Also interesting that one of the Dancer's most beloved is also named Blue, and isn't noted to be a member of her Backup. A relative, maybe? GilliamYaeger fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Mar 29, 2021 |
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Mar 29, 2021 00:27
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I voted for singing. It's a type of art, and we are good at it. Maybe our singing will inspire her next work (or she'll feed on our kidneys. Either or at this point.)
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Mar 29, 2021 01:33
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It's also pretty cool that we have a red suit, which is the one thing she can't work her magic on. It won't necessarily protect us, but it's better than nothing.
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Mar 29, 2021 02:20
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VOTING CLOSED - Small Talk With Shed Psychos I guess, yeah. I was semi-famous from the 50s to 80s. - 7 Singing is the art I like. - 21 I don't think art matters to survival. - 0 Not looking for company. I'm leaving. - 0 LOADING...  ...LOADING
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Mar 29, 2021 04:56
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 I'm not particularly comfortable with talking, or interested. But the wingless painter likely controls this area, and I can't take overconfident risks in my current state. I have to play along. So I tell her, yeah, I've always liked singing. That's the truth, so I can say it sincerely. She smiles. "Yeah, singing is a fundamental art. I know a lot of singers in my crew. I don't do it myself though; too dangerous. I just paint." I decide it doesn't hurt. So we talk about singing's strength as a universal art. I would talk about my career, but my phantom tyranny is too tenuous to risk with stressing out over those memories. It'd really take another showrunner to understand that sort of talk anyways. So I point at the mural, and ask if that's all her work. She nods noncommittally. "Oh, yeah. I'm waiting for the rain to wash it away before starting again. I'm killing time here until I can go back home. I get stories from my crew when they pass through. I try to paint the highlights. Sometimes I'll paint my dreams, or dreams of other people I know."  She's still shaking the lead out as she talks. I ask her if she knows what the sociopolitical deal is with everything around here, considering the ogres and wolves. It's revealing my ignorance, but I'm only going to survive this anxiety if I can safely figure out what I'm walking into. The painter looks at me while rubbing an eye. "Well uh... it's like..." she waves her hand as she draws out the situation in her mind, which takes effort. "Well, can I ask what your deal is? So I got an idea of what to warn you about?" (Perception) 13 - [2]+[3]+[6] = 11 - Success. I clear my throat and consider. My senses are dimmed of all psychic color, but I still have just enough of a spark to tell that she seems to be ok with me. It was good to talk about singing; she's knowledgeable about art. Not someone who makes me too anxious. Yet. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][30%] So, I tell her my deal.
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Mar 29, 2021 17:59
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We definitely shouldn't claim to be a tourist - there's no reason to tell such an obvious lie. I also don't want to tell her we're slaying lords. She won't take kindly to the idea of us killing Dancer, and while she does like us, according to her description she's perfectly OK with killing people she likes when it's necessary. And we don't actually want to or plan to kill Dancer, so I don't think not saying so is a lie of omission. Both of the other two options are honest to some extent, and knowing how people are going to react to dropping Dancer's name or Ulthar's name would be very useful. Of the two, Paradise feels more honest and could also get us accurate directions there (which would be excessively useful), so that's the one I picked.
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Mar 29, 2021 18:17
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pumpinglemma posted:We definitely shouldn't claim to be a tourist - there's no reason to tell such an obvious lie. I also don't want to tell her we're slaying lords. She won't take kindly to the idea of us killing Dancer, and while she does like us, according to her description she's perfectly OK with killing people she likes when it's necessary. And we don't actually want to or plan to kill Dancer, so I don't think not saying so is a lie of omission. Both of the other two options are honest to some extent, and knowing how people are going to react to dropping Dancer's name or Ulthar's name would be very useful. Of the two, Paradise feels more honest and could also get us accurate directions there (which would be excessively useful), so that's the one I picked. I'm perfectly fine with shooting someone like Bleeder in the head if it buys us time to save Dancer and Burner, though.
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Mar 29, 2021 18:31
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We know Dancer and Burner are good people, and Bleeder is so toxic we can't even have the pleasure of shooting the fucker up close just in case they bleed on us. I said we were waiting for Paradise, I'm pretty sure the backup that were against Dancer went to Jandoubi, right? So there's a good chance that she won't kill us for name dropping Dancer.
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Mar 29, 2021 19:00
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pumpinglemma posted:We definitely shouldn't claim to be a tourist - there's no reason to tell such an obvious lie. I also don't want to tell her we're slaying lords. She won't take kindly to the idea of us killing Dancer, and while she does like us, according to her description she's perfectly OK with killing people she likes when it's necessary. And we don't actually want to or plan to kill Dancer, so I don't think not saying so is a lie of omission. Both of the other two options are honest to some extent, and knowing how people are going to react to dropping Dancer's name or Ulthar's name would be very useful. Of the two, Paradise feels more honest and could also get us accurate directions there (which would be excessively useful), so that's the one I picked.
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Mar 29, 2021 19:06
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pumpinglemma posted:We definitely shouldn't claim to be a tourist - there's no reason to tell such an obvious lie. I also don't want to tell her we're slaying lords. She won't take kindly to the idea of us killing Dancer, and while she does like us, according to her description she's perfectly OK with killing people she likes when it's necessary. And we don't actually want to or plan to kill Dancer, so I don't think not saying so is a lie of omission. Both of the other two options are honest to some extent, and knowing how people are going to react to dropping Dancer's name or Ulthar's name would be very useful. Of the two, Paradise feels more honest and could also get us accurate directions there (which would be excessively useful), so that's the one I picked. The ticket to Paradise is also one of the items that almost no runners have had. There was apparently only one runner that mentioned being able to promise Blue not to hurt the others, and it was unconfirmed until we procced it too. The Ulthar treaty, by comparison, didn't seem to be unusual given multiple references to Sauber and his sister sisters that we've seen. Going with the Paradise option will be the most interesting choice for our one-run.
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Mar 30, 2021 00:32
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Went with paradise. Brought it up a while back, but waaaaaaaaaay back via PSI radio we heard there was a pilgrimage to Paradise going on. We have the holy gemscar to open Paradise. No guarantee we'll arrive at the same time as the pilgrimage, but if we do, arriving at the camped pilgrims to open Paradise would be an impressive way to secure our friendship with Dancer and the Backup Cult.
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Mar 30, 2021 04:33
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Arcanuse posted:Went with paradise. If we opened the gates of paradise for the pilgrims, think they'd turn us into a Prophet? I find that idea equal parts amusing and terrifying.
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Mar 30, 2021 22:22
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VOTING CLOSED - Let's Be Honest This is my tyranny of truth. I'm walking to Megalith. I'm slaying Lords. - 8 I'm waiting for Paradise to open. I was given invite. - 23 Ulthar signed me up to be a scout and represent their interests. - 2 I'm just a tourist, passing through. - 0 LOADING...  ...LOADING
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Mar 31, 2021 00:05
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I exhale with unease. The painter watches me, and I know without meeting her tired eyes that she's judging the measure of my colors. Royalist red, shadow black with sunny gold... then there are the colors inside I won't let her see if I can help it. But I have to give her something, some secret shade that will keep my true palette hidden. I glance at it - the scar on my hand that Blue put there. The flesh glitters like gemstone, catching every stingy ray of light. I know the painter can hear its dazzling colors, and her eyes are starting to wander as she looks for them. I take the gamble. I open my palm and hold it out to her. I tell her- I'm walking. I'm guest. I'm invite. I'm going down. Down to Paradise. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][40%] It's immediate; I feel the air change. Her sleepy expression washes off to reveal hard stone; the light in her eyes dims, then returns with a stabbing sharpness. She looks at my palm with the feral force, the eyes of one making the four-way choice. Her stained fingers clench inward, and I know by her voice that she's chosen Fight. "Why would you show me-"  She paces back quickly, now half-hidden behind a tree. One hand claws into the bark to hold herself steady, the other points at me in aggressive warding. "I know what color a lie is, and that's real. How is that real?" I keep my hand held out, myself confused. She has the look of a starving vampire who is forced to behold a blood-soaked crucifix. I tell her honest it was a gift. From someone named Blue. But saying that makes her even more anxious, provoking her to curtly return "No. No it wasn't. I'M Paprika Blue." The way she says her name makes my wrists itch - it's as much a shield as it is identity. I spend a second working it over in my mind, fighting through my burnt brain to make sense of what she's telling me. I ask her if she knows Blue, then. Nice woman? Kind of crusty? A little power-pilled? Paprika hides further behind the tree, her eyes never once leaving the scar. She's thinking; despite her anger, she's as confused as I feel. "No. No. Blue- PAPRIKA Blue. There isn't just a 'Blue'. I don't get this. You're not with the Backup. You're not one of us. You didn't survive the Island. Why would you be allowed into Paradise?" ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][50%] My stomach drops. Sweat drips off my still-extended palm. I hold still, fighting off the panic starting to drag and stab its way out of my heart. She's one of the cultists. She's one of the ones who I have to kill. But Blue said... she... my memory is hard-bitten, squirming out of my reach, brain soft-burned by unreality. Every nerve is wrung and waiting. There's too much context I'm missing. I need to think. (IQ - Think Fast!) 10 - [5]+[3]+[1] = 9 - Success! Running away isn't an option. I can't lie, and I wouldn't know how to lie to her about this if I could. Think think think. No psychic insight to rely on... so I have to THINK. Blue gave me this scar and I know that's real. She told me about her 'fam', her crew. I promised to not kill any of them, so she marked my hand; Paprika recognizes the symbol, but doesn't know Blue. I worry if Blue was even supposed to give it to me, or if the heat of the immense moment saw her making a mistake. Alright. Alright so that means Blue is one of the Backup. She was a cultist! That means that the people I promised to not kill is... ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][60%] [oh god i hosed up bad] Cold cold. Cold. My arm is cold. My stomach hurts so bad, and I'm going to vomit up the burger. Everything is sweaty and itchy and uncomfortable. I'm confused. I'm stupid. I'm so, so stupid. I promised. I'm so loving stupid for promising. I need to solve this. I need to control this. I need, I should run, I, if, if I just take my sword and BOOM then my shovel and BANG and who will know who will know who will know???  (Will - Control Yourself. Now.) 19[-6] - [1]+[4]+[5] = 10 - Success! ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][40%] I will. I will. So I can't, because I'll know, and then you'll know. I can't do that. I can't boom bang. I can't. I have to handle this. I tell Paprika that I'm in the dark. I don't know what the gemscar or the Island or Paradise is. Just that a woman named Blue gave it to me for helping her, and she told me to come down to Paradise. I don't know why. Paprika Blue leans out from the tree. Her colors have muted a degree, her eyes no longer stabbing. She thinks for a second, and then tells me "You do know a lot about singing. Maybe-" She hesitates. She's thinking something, but there's no silver to reflect it off of so I can see. But it has her worried and confused. My colors aren't lying, so whose are? "...nah. Sorry. You're really confusing me. Walk back walk back - so one of our crew recruited you? They gave you that? You're not getting into Paradise anyways; none of us are. It's locked shut until sometime this summer." She steps out from the tree, holding one of her arms while she continues to scrutinize me. I don't make any moves, save to let my sword rest down. Leaves without fractal scatter between us, my brain still tingling painfully from the snap-sudden shutdown of the mushroom's chemistry. This is overwhelming. I need to get away and think, mend, change my plans. But I have to resolve this first; I ask for clemency. I ask if there's something I can do to show I'm 'with the crew'. To help her out. To put her mind at ease - and with that, my own. Paprika thinks, and then shrugs. "You know? A'ight. Your color isn't a lie, so if you MEAN it, then..."
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Apr 1, 2021 03:41
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Strawpoll seems to be borked again, I voted for going to the apartment, it should give us a chance to get our thoughts back together.
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Apr 1, 2021 03:53
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It looks like it's working on my end, but I'll give it a few hours and throw up an alt if it's not working.
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Apr 1, 2021 04:04
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Nevermind. I'm going to play it safe. Strawpoll has been unreliable this month. Paprika's Proposition
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Apr 1, 2021 04:14
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I'm sure going to the apartment isn't as simple as it sounds like but aren't we still kinda in bad shape from the previous fight with an ogre, and the other one sounds pretty complicated too. Gonna go with the apartment for this one even if it's the "boring choice"
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Apr 1, 2021 05:36
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on the other hand, the pretty colour
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Apr 1, 2021 06:01
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Peace negotiations in our current state could be a disaster - we already got pretty lucky with those IQ and willpower rolls - and finding a new colour is going to take a lot of time we’d be better off not spending. Physically we’re in pretty good shape, so I’m going with the apartment as well.
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Apr 1, 2021 09:26
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Went with new color, perhaps our silver, black, and sometimes gold could benefit us from seeing a new color. A new perspective to try, perhaps?
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Apr 1, 2021 10:41
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VOT▯▯▯▯▯▯▯XIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ] ▯ ▯ ▯ ▯ ▯ ▯an you go to my▯▯olerious! Did you see it? The entire sky lit up! - 13 - 7 - 4 ▯▯ ▯a special color. - 16 
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Apr 1, 2021 19:46
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Did we just get glitched into taking the colour choice?
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Apr 1, 2021 19:51
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I think we got glitched into taking an entirely new choice. And not because of a tie, either, this is something the game triggered by itself. "olerious" sounds like it might be the end of a name...?
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Apr 1, 2021 21:27
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Oh boy more glitches!
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Apr 1, 2021 22:45
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And on top of that, going by the glitch bar at the top, we're at 90% anxiety! Hi Tyrant, I see you're planning to take over fully again!
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Apr 1, 2021 22:59
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Alt+F8 for old time's sake!
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Apr 2, 2021 03:28
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I was going to vote for a new color since, well, Tourmaline Rain. But glitch options work too!
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Apr 2, 2021 03:36
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l̸̨͞o̡͝o̡̕k̸ ̷̛a͟t̛͞ ͏͘t̢͏h̀̕e̵̴͘ ̵F̵̀a̢r̢͏̕me͜r ͏aǹd͢͡ ͞I̶'̛m̛͞ ̧̧́s̴̨c͘r͝eà̸̕mì͘n̸̕͞g͟͡͞ à͝͠t͡ ̴̢h̴ę̸͞r t҉̶o̶̕ ̢̀͢te͟l̕͝l̴̴ ҉̶m̶e̶̵ ̸̨͝w͟hy͘͝͞,̸͞҉ ̀wh͘y͜, ͝w̧͡hy̛͝ ̸d̀͝į҉͟d͘ ţ̶͠h̛͢è wingless harpy looks at me, hesitates again with a glance at my palm, and makes up her mind. "Then, you think you can get something I left in my apartment? It's about 15 miles east of here, in the woods. I can show you my paint map."  I keep it together. I drag my bowels back into place, I wipe the sweat from my shaking hands. I know I'm on the verge of something, but the ruinous state of my mind can't process it. I have to say yes. Just say yes, just get her to smile. Before the colors break. Before I make the mistake. "You'll meet more crew there. One is called Fire Joker, she's holed up inside while she tries to get it ready for the pre-Paradise pilgrimage party; she can let you into my pad. I just want my pack I left on my bunk." The colors change again. She slaps the tree, stretching her neck with frustration. She says "Hey, dude? I'm real, I don't think you're lying, but you've made me really uncomfortable. I'm chill if you're chill, but if you can bring me back my pack, I-" She thinks again. I've challenged her, haven't I? A living threat to the colors hidden and raging inside of her mind. But I have to keep myself in check. Paprika makes up her mind, and her hidden colors paint a picture of me. "I'll call it good. Uhm." Awkwardly, she paces out and around the stone house yards. I notice where her hand touches, there's the briefest blueshift hue. She points on the map again she made again, changing the subject.  "Look at the colorline. Take my hills to the north edge. Go straight across until you hit the river- do not go inside of the enclosed woodland. If you follow the river, you'll find safe longwalks across the river. Cut northeast, there's another longwalk. Then... you'll be close to out of the woods. Don't leave them. It's an ogre zone. Just find a highway, 76, do NOT go on it, and keep going southeast. One last longwalk. Follow the river south, you'll see the apartments when you get high up enough. Say- say it. To any crew. Say Paprika Blue-" she puts a stiff emphasis on her Blue, "-sent you with the color 'Wheat'." I listen. I take it in. I'm not here. I nod my head and Paprika inclines hers. Both of our hands are acting worried with knuckleache. She finds the means to end it first, jerking a thumb over her shoulder. "It keeps going that way. It was cool to talk singing. You'd like Dancer." ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][ X ][50%] My heart screams, and begins to run. I have to stop myself again. (Will - Don't. Don't. Don't.) 19[-5] - [1]+[4]+[2] = 7 - Success! ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][ X ][40%] I grab it and crush it, gently. Just the smallest seize of that midnight around it to tell it, NOT NOW. It whimpers and stills to a saner pace, and I think of my sword in slay of a Lord. I walk off without a goodbye, and let my shroud hide all but one eye. I deviate from the mural wall, not wanting to see a single second more of the cultist shades. Too much information. Every hour is another new too much. I stay on the edge of the hill, pacing with my sword dragged alongside. I can't stop thinking about the strange ache in my neck, and my will slips and slides in trying to stop worrying about it. I keep looking up at the irondark sky, and expect the Sun to be looking back at me. But it's high noon, and the land is dimmed. I resolve to just ignore everything nagging at the back of my head. I settle it quickly with the troubled thought - Blue may be Backup, but I can keep a promise to her. I can promise to not kill her fam. Right? I can do that. But her Lord... I have to kill them. I will. I'll just have to put it off until later. I can wait until later. Because then I can get close, right, see? Learn all about them. Get close to that Lordly one. Then then then. Then I can use the shovel. Then I can dig the grave. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][30%] Yeah. That's sane. That's victory. Following that muted theory is a tired wander into the vast forests. The trees are a comfort in distraction - I've never seen any quite like them. They're growing taller near the rivers, and once I get near the bank of my crossing I stop to look at one. The bark is dense, pebbled and an intense brown-red. The leaves are wide and angular, especially thin and rigid. Many of them let in discolored shafts of light from under their irregular canopy. With the leaves are vines as well, hanging in crowns and and small hanging towers. I watch insects roam the vines, slender ant-likes with three-way pincers. I realize I should force some occupancy with a foraged handful.  Event Log posted:You can hear the river roar from where you stand. While watching silent bugs move under the watery din, you notice some seem to carry berries. You think of getting a snack to distract you, so you... Stop. Please God, stop. Shhhh... so tense. Relax. Sit down, hug the tree, lean your cheek against the pebbly wood, and exhale with the gentle of your jadesoaked organs. Air and water. Slowly... I can feel it. I let the air I exhale reach the leaves and feed them. Let it drench the sky oxygen. I listen to the tree breathing, and let my jagged nails be caught on the bark as I wait for an answer. (Perception) 13 - [2]+[2]+[6] = 10 - Success!  ...ah. Ahhhh. Yes, there, in the vines! It's shaped oblong, colored a faded dusty blue. I grab it and gently pull, feeling the pliable surface. When I bite in, it's mostly water, with a bittersweet fruitflesh. Good. Good. ANXIETY: [ X ][20%] See? I can survive. I can. I'll keep us safe. I promise promise. I'll keep us strong. I'll always hold you when you have to walk. You poor tired creature. I can do this for us all. I can sling sword, slay Lord. I'm going to walk, until we're at last gone. Gone to Megalith. With the snack done, I wander up further into the rivery greens, until I hit the bank at last. It soothes me. The bank is especially narrow, since the rivery trees grow so close to the water. The rivers are so wide, their waters an intensity of fadeblue. The trees cluster to make it a corridor, leaned and draped to mask both sides in a dense wall of leaf and vine. The kind of river that could bless a marriage. Accept a body. Baptize the lost. After following it north a while, I finally find what Paprika meant by a longwalk. There's a great jutting irregularity in the river, where a combination of rocks, waterflow pools, leaning trees, and vine catches creates a rough path that can be passed over. (Strength) 21 - [4]+[5]+[2] = 11 - Success!  I climb-walk across without issue. I'm too strong for current or slippery stone to deter me. Honestly, have I EVER been this strong? Is there an upper limit on this killing force? I want to find it, and break it. Strength is not just the nightmare of my Six-Pack Subscription, that is truth, but in a corporeal world, corporeal power creates the smoothest roads. It's a quiet walk from there to the northeast, where another rivercross waits for me. I bless the silence of the forest while I follow. But that means as I near, I manage to become unnerved by the occasional maybe-sound to end up wasting a while hiding or running, sending me back to my body's addiction to tension. ANXIETY: [ X ][ X ][30%] But nothing happens by the time I managed to find the second crossing. Bugs dangle scratchy-sweet from long rivervines, the only souls brave enough to be visible in the semidark. I hide among them for a while under the vines of the bank, stalking for a chance to indulge my involuntary tension through my sword. But nothing appears. So I cross again. (Strength) 21 - [3]+[1]+[2] = 6 - Success!! Effortless. I truly am strong, and I know I will keep breaking that limit. The doors of Heaven are heavy, after all. I want my freak of a physique to speak more in pride, but the tense of my muscles keeps it in a pained silence despite the work it puts in. So I cross, and realize I'm more than halfway there just three hours in. I'm near the edge of the forest... and every nerve is scream-hot bright with the warning to not wander out into the open, whatever lies beyond. Not yet. But as I walk east, I do come upon a temptation. An old overgrown road. The '76' she mentioned. It's a wide highway, broken and buried among the plants and trees. Oh, for the blessing of a paved road. I concentrate on the highway in my own body, arteries connecting every channel to power the tyranny of my heart. When I open my bleary eyes, I think of my angry strength, and I wonder.  In this impossible state of mind, what does my tyranny demand?
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Apr 3, 2021 06:07
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 loving with the interstate feels like a baaaad idea. Edit: The Blue Book posted:"...chance per turn of enraging 76 when you use the Interstate for travel, making it one of the most frequent acts of risk for..." Princey fucked around with this message at 07:32 on Apr 3, 2021 |
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Apr 3, 2021 07:25
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