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Jim and Pam take turns making tender, yet passionate, love to Dwights stapler
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Apr 5, 2021 01:49
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| # ? May 30, 2024 12:49 |
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Jim tricks Dwight into giving him Majora’s Mask, unleashing an ancient evil.
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Apr 5, 2021 02:25
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Jim makes some fake colored dot tests to convince Dwight he is red green colorblind
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Apr 5, 2021 03:04
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Jim encases Mose in jello
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Apr 5, 2021 03:24
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Jim processes Dwight's carcass and uses the gelatin to create jello which he uses to encase Dwight's successor's stapler.
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Apr 5, 2021 03:27
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Jim creates a rift in space time to shunt Dwight into an alternate timeline where Shrute farm grows bears instead of beets “No, no this is wrong! This isn’t how this works!” Dwight agonizes as Mose digs up the root crop of tiny red bears that mewl sadly as he clubs them for pickling “I’m a stapler!!” says Pam as she eagerly inserts herself into a jello
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Apr 5, 2021 03:36
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Jim claims that Kid Rock is his favorite music, and starts playing it constantly out of his tinny computer speakers. He plays Kid Rock day in, day out, for months.
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Apr 5, 2021 03:42
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https://www.fye.com/the-office-stap...ASABEgJvYvD_BwE
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Apr 5, 2021 03:47
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Jim encase Dwight's penis in jello
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Apr 5, 2021 04:08
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(Jello is what Jim calls his rear end. I should have mentioned that)
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Apr 5, 2021 04:08
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Jim does x to Dwight's y
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Apr 5, 2021 04:11
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Jim starts beating the poo poo out of Dwight the second he walks into the office. Dwight slowly tries to fight back but Jim just keeps hammering him. The whole office is screaming and crying and trying to get Jim to stop, but by the time they pull him off Dwight's skull has been caved in and he's obviously dead. Jim has tears in his eyes and starts yelling. "Go dig up his farm, you'll see why I did what I did. Look under the root cellar. I loving dare you. Maybe then you'll understand." With this, Jim puts both hands on his head and starts twisting until something cracks. He falls to the ground, dead. Michael walks in and asks if they're doing DIY chiropractor day again.
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Apr 5, 2021 12:56
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Jim takes a long straw and drinks Dwight's milkshake. He drinks it all up.
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Apr 5, 2021 17:14
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Jim imbibes too much alcohol at a corporate charity event and drunkenly expresses his love to the engaged receptionist, Pam. She rebuffs him, but he does not take no for an answer and sexually assaults her with a predatory kiss while she is on the phone with her mother. Dwight witnesses this and reports Jim to corporate, resulting in a string of investigations that ends with Jim serving time as a sex offender. As his sentence is read, he breaks down crying on the stand, and looks into the camera while sobbing "it was just a prank!"
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Apr 5, 2021 17:22
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Jim downloads Dwight's consciousness into a virtual reality program so that he can continue to prank Dwight for an eternity after Dwight's body has died.
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Apr 5, 2021 17:24
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Dwight enters the bathroom and sits down on the toilet with a newspaper and begins quietly reading it. Jim kicks the door in with a tie tied around his forehead like a bandana and starts punching him. "Ow- Jim- ow! What the hell? Ow! Ahh! Jim!" Dwight cries out in surprise and confusion. Jim grabs Dwight's shirt and rips it off, tossing it aside, before running back out of the bathroom. "Jeez! What the hell?" Dwight sighs, picking his newspaper back up, "You're losing your mind out there." Dwight resumes reading the paper.
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Apr 5, 2021 18:00
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Pam decides to prank Dwight but it gets horribly out of hand and soon the FBI is involved. When the dust clears weeks later, only Oscar and Toby remain legally inculpable in what becomes colloquially known as "Papergate".
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Apr 5, 2021 18:04
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jim does the wrong kind of sex to dwight
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Apr 5, 2021 20:26
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Dwight was on his way home when he died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. He left behind a wife and child. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save him, but to no avail. His body was so utterly shattered he was better off, trust me. And that’s when he met me. “What… what happened?” He asked. “Where am I?” “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words. “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…” “Yup,” I said. “I… I died?” “Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said. Dwight looked around. There was nothingness. Just him and me. “What is this place?” he asked. “Is this the afterlife?” “More or less,” I said. “Are you god?” he asked. “Yup,” I replied, mugging the camera. “I’m God.” “My kid… my wife,” he said. “What about them?” “Will they be all right?” “That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.” Dwight looked at me with fascination. To him, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Some vague corporate figure, maybe. More of an early 21st century New England office worker than the almighty. “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kid will remember you as perfect in every way. He didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. His mother will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your childbearing contract was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.” “Oh,” he said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?” “Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.” “Ah,” he said. “So the Hindus were right,” “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.” He followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.” “So what’s the point, then?” he asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.” “Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.” I stopped walking and took him by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had. “You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.” “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?” “Oh lots. Lots and lots. And in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.” “Wait, what?” he stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?” “Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.” “Where you come from?” he said. “Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.” “Oh,” he said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.” “Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.” “So what’s the point of it all?” “Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?” “Well it’s a reasonable question,” Dwight persisted. I looked him in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.” “You mean mankind? You want us to mature?” “No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.” “Just me? What about everyone else?” “There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.” He stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…” “All you. Different incarnations of you.” “Wait. I’m everyone!?” “Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back. “I’m every human being who ever lived?” “Or who will ever live, yes.” “I’m Abraham Lincoln?” “And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added. “I’m Hitler?” he said, appalled. “And you’re the millions he killed.” “I’m Jesus?” “And you’re everyone who followed him.” Dwight fell silent. “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.” He thought for a long time. “What about Jim?” he asked me. “Was I Jim too?” “No,” I mugged, “you were not Jim.” “Why?” He asked me. “Why do all this?” “Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.” “Whoa,” he said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?” “No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.” “So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…” “An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.” I pause my finger over a button labeled “Chinese peasant girl, 540 AD”. “No, not yet” I think to myself, as my finger continues to a familiar button whose push I’ve felt a billion billion times. “Dwight, 1970”
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Apr 5, 2021 21:17
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Jim staples Pam
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Apr 5, 2021 21:19
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Jim does something mean to his successful, much cooler co worker. Dwight,being experienced with the mentally handicapped through mose, pretends this bothers him knowing it is all JIM has.
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Apr 5, 2021 22:01
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Jim starts to pee blood. He's concerned for his health, but his immediate priority is how to turn this into a prank on Dwight. Jim mugs the camera as he notices that Dwight has brought a bottle of V8 vegetable juice to work...
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Apr 5, 2021 22:06
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Jim misses the birth of his first child trying to build an elaborate house of cards on top of Dwight's desk.
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Apr 5, 2021 22:39
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Dwight's nose starts to bleed. He barely has time to register what's happening before his head explodes in a gruesome shower of blood and brains. The camera turns to Jim and we see Jim's head is three times its normal size and throbbing like a heart. Jim mugs the camera and the camera lens cracks.
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Apr 5, 2021 22:55
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Jim gets Dwight tickets to see the Eddie Murphy film “Meet Dave.” When Dwight asks if it’s a good movie, Jim answers in the affirmative. He mugs the camera as Dwight disappears into the theater. The film is actually terrible.
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Apr 6, 2021 00:55
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Dwight's become obsessed with Jim and is convinced that Jim WILL love him. He's taken to stealing Jim's garbage and licking his toilet seat at work. Jim keeps rebuffing him and telling him he's but Dwight knows Jim loves him. He KNOWS. Finally, too scared, anxious, and creeped out, Jim commits suicide to escape Dwight the only way he knows how. Furious, Dwight pounds through the undergrowth at the edge of the cemetery to watch the funeral for the man that has eluded him in life. He raises a pair of binoculars to his eyes and pans the assembled crowd, when finally his eyes fall on the memorial stone itself. Other than the dates of his life, it contains but one thing. An etched portrait of Jim's face, mugging back at him.
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Apr 6, 2021 01:08
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Jim deep fries all of Dwight's clothes.
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Apr 6, 2021 02:41
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Djinn and Pann
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Apr 6, 2021 02:45
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Jim reveals that he has been posing as all of Dwight's "best clients" in order to boost the sales of his dearest friend
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Apr 6, 2021 02:52
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Bad Purchase posted:Dwight was on his way home when he died.
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Apr 6, 2021 03:05
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jim docks penises with creed
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Apr 6, 2021 07:44
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creed breeds pam “Stapler.” he says to the camera, shrugging
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Apr 6, 2021 12:21
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-Jim replaces Dwight’s necktie with a deadly coral snake. -Jim convinces Michael that Dwight is a Soviet spy, causing Michael to behave strangely toward Dwight all day and culminating in the FBI showing up at the office to arrest Dwight. Unbeknownst to Jim, Dwight was actually a self-radicalized member of an American ISIL cell and detonates his suicide vest in the FBI van. Jim grimaces awkwardly and silently mouths “yikes” at the camera. -Jim sucks Dwight’s toes while Dwight is asleep.
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Apr 6, 2021 13:08
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jim slowly throttles dwight with a length of cheesewire mug cameras the jim 
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Apr 6, 2021 13:26
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Jim spends fourteen years doing kegels until he can blast rope like a rifle. Jim sets up in the old Scranton book repository as Dwight's Best Salesman I'm the World parade is about to begin.
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Apr 6, 2021 13:32
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Jim leaves a sexy neglige in Dwight’s desk drawer, which backfires when everyone starts believing that Dwight is the office stud. Jin buys a bunch of lingerie to stuff in his own desk, and Pam notices all the strange purchases on their joint credit card bill. Dwight is now the office cool guy, and Jim is the weirdo freak. Dwight encases Jim’s stapler in a jello mold.
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Apr 6, 2021 13:37
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Dwight freezes, beads of sweat dripping down his temples. "Perhaps we can work this out?" he says. "The time for talking is over," Jim says. He unleashes Cheap Trick - his stand, who punches Dwight in the chest. "Your stand is pitiful, Jim! I hardly even felt that! Ora Ora much?" Jim turns to the camera and raises his fingers to his forehead. He makes a face and freezes. In the background, Dwight dies as his heart is encased in jello.
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Apr 6, 2021 13:50
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Jim ties Dwight's shoelaces to a moving bus.
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Apr 6, 2021 15:48
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Jim leaves Dwight in the transporter buffer for 78 years
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Apr 6, 2021 16:01
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| # ? May 30, 2024 12:49 |
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HD DAD posted:Jim leaves Dwight in the transporter buffer for 78 years "Dunder Mifflin?! I shoulda known – I'll bet Michael Scott himself hauled the old gal outta mothballs to come lookin' for me!"
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Apr 6, 2021 16:13
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