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BrigadierSensible posted:The greatest sport ever is Test Cricket. I had a Pakistani friend that tried to explain Cricket to me. The first part made sense. I was OK with it. Then in degenerated into madness. He was Cricket obsessed. It's all he talked about. There was some kind of a "World Series" Cricket thing he would make us put on in the break room. We had TVs in the call center and he'd make us switch them to Cricket. From what I understand, a bunch of people stand around a lot. The bowler throws the ball in an awkward way so they can't throw fast. The batsman is dressed up with more armor than a hockey goalie for some reason. There's a bit with a bail and some wickets. You run a short distance back and forth between the wickets unless you don't feel like it. Then there's a tea break or something. Everyone wins? Everyone loses? Unclear but that's OK. Then there's something about the ashes or maybe not and and a bunch of people wear doctors coats or maybe not and you have to wear a sweater in summer. I'm pretty sure a cat is involved at some point who decides who gets the ceremonial cheese block. I kind of lost focus after the running part so my description is poor. However, American Football (Gridiron) gets just as wonky during play so I understand why I don't get Cricket. It's a different sport and it takes time to learn how to drink beers and yell at a TV in a bar for a while. "Common Ref! QB was inside the tackles and a guard is not an eligible receiver unless he's wearing an eligible number or otherwise declared to the ref prior to the snap! That's intentional grounding!" Yes, American Football is full of weird rules that we all know. Now lets have drunken argument about how a Center Sneak is legal somehow and then bitch about how no-one ever does the "wrong ball" fake in the pro's. To argue standard bar scene yelling at the TV: A Center Sneak is allowable if the ball is fumbled so, yes, you can do a center sneak by making it look like a QB sneak, if the QB lets go of the ball after having control and the Center picks it up. Not recommended but it can be done. It cannot be handed off, he has to drop it straight down He must have control first. That's a fumble so it's a free ball. I think, with practice, it could be done. Not safely, but possible. Yay Cricket! Go *Insert your team here*!
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Mar 31, 2021 03:04
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Cricket is like baseball except there's sticks instead of a catcher and you run back and forward instead of round in circles. Also the batting and throwing styles are different but eh.
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Mar 31, 2021 03:05
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I only ever read Douglas Adams' description of cricket and it was just xenophobia expressed by the old ultraviolence.
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Mar 31, 2021 03:41
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The reason I love Test Cricket is: (And bear in mind this is just the opinion of one middle aged out of touch Australian) Due to the archaic and obscure nature of the game, and the fact that a good match will last 5 days, (stopping for lunch and tea of course), it is the very nature of epic poetry. Novels can be written about even the most boring Sri Lanka vs Zimbabwe run fest played on a Columbo road. There are ebbs and flows within days. You can get your arse handed to you for 2+ hours of play, go away have a biscuit and a drink, then come back and dominate, only for the opposition to do the same to you the next morning. I also ADORE the fact that draws exist. It makes the wins and the losses mean so much more. The game I always use as an example is Aus. vs England Cardiff 2009. Australia pantsed England for the entire 5 days of that test. They were the better team by a magnitude. But it ended in a draw because Australia couldn't take the last wicket. A pair of Jimmy Anderson and Monty Panesar, both bunnies, (awful batsmen), of the highest calibre. So it ended in a draw. Which meant that even though Australia were the better team throughout, they didn't do enough/weren't good enough to earn a win. And England, despite being shithouse for the entirety of the game, didn't do enough/weren't bad enough to deserve the loss. I am weird insomuch as I love poo poo like that. Also, all the reasons I have written above are the same as to why I hate T20. Which will probably be the "cricket" that non-cricket people will be first exposed to. Sorry for the rant.
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Mar 31, 2021 10:21
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Cricket's so simple literal toddlers play it
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Mar 31, 2021 11:29
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So cricket is basically "drink for 3-5 days straight and some form of sports might have taken place during this time"? This is the reason we have Ice Hockey World Championship games every year or so and they take 2 weeks.
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Mar 31, 2021 12:30
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Der Kyhe posted:So cricket is basically "drink for 3-5 days straight and some form of sports might have taken place during this time"? Similar to the Bathurst, yeah.
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Mar 31, 2021 12:34
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Baseball kinda feels like it takes five days to play a game, but luckily someone invented whiskey which helps you to get through the whole ordeal.
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Mar 31, 2021 13:03
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mostlygray posted:I had a Pakistani friend that tried to explain Cricket to me. The first part made sense. I was OK with it. Then in degenerated into madness. He was Cricket obsessed. It's all he talked about. There was some kind of a "World Series" Cricket thing he would make us put on in the break room. We had TVs in the call center and he'd make us switch them to Cricket. Cant throw fast? Dudes can literally bowl at 160 kmh (100mph), and its a smaller, heavier, harder ball than a baseball. The armor isnt for nothing.
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Mar 31, 2021 13:39
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Gort posted:Cricket's so simple literal toddlers play it Don't be daft, you can't give alcohol to toddlers.
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Mar 31, 2021 14:02
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Rigged Death Trap posted:Cant throw fast? I'm an American baseball fan. I can never wrap my head around Cricket. Not that I've ever tried too hard. But they definitely throw hard as Hell and this is still the best poo poo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6qDnh-W0PE And I absolutely want to go to Finland someday just to watch this Pesapallo madness. A short 2 minute Jomboy breakdown: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDrLcPxSBRk&t=1s Longer explanation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yom1_q8WRck
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Mar 31, 2021 16:04
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Mauser posted:Baseball kinda feels like it takes five days to play a game, but luckily someone invented whiskey which helps you to get through the whole ordeal. So one of my old clients is a sports caster and he told me a few weeks ago to go watch an old baseball game I could remember from the 90's and compare it to a game from today. It's almost unrecognizable in terms of game speed. There was a player they used to call "The Human Rain Delay" because he would take about 15 seconds to get ready in the batters box to annoy the pitchers who would just want to pitch. Now it takes like 25 seconds for a pitcher to even think of pitching. edit: The obvious solution would be to cut all the TV time outs out of the loving game, but you can't do that since that's where the money is coming from. I'm sure someone's tried to float the idea of cutting the breaks in half and doubling the commercial charges, but I'm sure there's a reason that wouldn't work. Solice Kirsk has a new favorite as of 17:48 on Mar 31, 2021 |
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Mar 31, 2021 17:45
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Tony Phillips posted:Cargo Cult Baseball This feels like trying to read Dutch as an American. It's so close to familiar, but not.
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Mar 31, 2021 17:57
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Tony Phillips posted:I'm an American baseball fan. I can never wrap my head around Cricket. Not that I've ever tried too hard. But they definitely throw hard as Hell and this is still the best poo poo. The extra funny bit is that cricket balls are much heavier and harder than baseballs. I one got hit in the dick as a fielder which was not pleasant. Extra so when everyone is annoyed that you didn't hold onto the ball because the batter would have been out.
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Mar 31, 2021 18:14
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By popular demand posted:Don't be daft, you can't give alcohol to toddlers. Says who?
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Mar 31, 2021 20:51
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BrigadierSensible posted:Which meant that even though Australia were the better team throughout, they didn't do enough/weren't good enough to earn a win. Yeah, that sounds like a game from the country that used to execute Admirals for "failure to do their utmost". Voltaire posted:Dans ce pays-ci, il est bon de tuer de temps en temps un amiral pour encourager les autres.
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Mar 31, 2021 20:54
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It's never occurred to me before that the English word "encourage" doesn't necessarily have a positive meaning; you can encourage someone to do something through menace (which I obviously always knew was possible, but didn't realise that the word "encourage" could be used to describe it). Thanks, Voltaire.
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Apr 1, 2021 05:51
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Well yeah, because of the implication.
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Apr 1, 2021 06:53
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Gort posted:Cricket's so simple literal toddlers play it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNPyZsPH8TI
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Apr 1, 2021 16:26
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mostlygray posted:I had a Pakistani friend that tried to explain Cricket to me. The first part made sense. I was OK with it. Then in degenerated into madness. He was Cricket obsessed. It's all he talked about. There was some kind of a "World Series" Cricket thing he would make us put on in the break room. We had TVs in the call center and he'd make us switch them to Cricket. The standard description of cricket: You have two sides, one out and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get the side coming in out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
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Apr 1, 2021 18:31
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_6d3JBBo4s
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Apr 1, 2021 19:03
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Solice Kirsk posted:There was a player they used to call "The Human Rain Delay" because he would take about 15 seconds to get ready in the batters box to annoy the pitchers who would just want to pitch.
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Apr 4, 2021 04:16
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I thought you meant that he played until he was 85.
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Apr 4, 2021 13:15
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Lady Disdain posted:I thought you meant that he played until he was 85. Yeah, I was about to be impressed with the old codger
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Apr 4, 2021 13:19
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Pigsfeet on Rye posted:Yeah, I was about to be impressed with the old codger Do yourself a favor and look up Minnie Minosa then!
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Apr 5, 2021 02:10
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https://i.imgur.com/SQpAHQP.mp4
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Apr 5, 2021 19:26
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I like how the lioness just totally evaporated from the heat of its skid
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Apr 5, 2021 20:39
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Pigsfeet on Rye posted:I like how the lioness just totally evaporated from the heat of its skid If you get juked that bad going back to class before recess is over is basically your only move.
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Apr 5, 2021 20:44
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By popular demand posted:Don't be daft, you can't give alcohol to toddlers.   
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Apr 5, 2021 21:20
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Solice Kirsk posted:If you get juked that bad going back to class before recess is over is basically your only move. Juked so hard she just kept running off into the distance. The lion equivalent of a housecat eating poo poo and walking it off like "I meant to do that."
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Apr 5, 2021 21:24
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Gonna have to call it something else , coz "Pride Rock" it ain't. smh
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Apr 5, 2021 21:44
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Been a while since I've seen The Usual Suspects but Kevin Spacey was okay in it. And like that...
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Apr 5, 2021 22:25
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Okay the teething thing is freaky but the top one is saying the mom drinks beer and passes the hops and carbs through breast milk. When I had my first kids (24 years ago) my doctor suggested *one* beer a day to increase my milk quality. With my last one 4 years ago we had access to alcohol test strips for milk and whenever I'd go out for a rare night out I'd test in the morning and I never seemed to pass alcohol into my milk. So there's that. Side note: I never did the one beer a day thing because I was scared.
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Apr 6, 2021 02:14
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Stairs posted:Okay the teething thing is freaky but the top one is saying the mom drinks beer and passes the hops and carbs through breast milk. When I had my first kids (24 years ago) my doctor suggested *one* beer a day to increase my milk quality. With my last one 4 years ago we had access to alcohol test strips for milk and whenever I'd go out for a rare night out I'd test in the morning and I never seemed to pass alcohol into my milk. So there's that. Scared of beer? By god woman you'll never be a good cricketer with that attitude!
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Apr 6, 2021 05:09
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BrigadierSensible posted:Scared of beer? By god woman you'll never be a good cricketer with that attitude! Drunken babies seem like they'd be way scarier than sober ones 😂
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Apr 6, 2021 06:05
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Wait no sorry. I need a Goon reply. Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket.
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Apr 6, 2021 06:07
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Apparently booze just makes babies sleep, rather than turning them into reckless arseholes.
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Apr 6, 2021 07:56
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Jedit posted:The standard description of cricket: You do the Hokie-Cokie and you turn about...
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Apr 6, 2021 08:06
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Stairs posted:Okay the teething thing is freaky but the top one is saying the mom drinks beer and passes the hops and carbs through breast milk. When I had my first kids (24 years ago) my doctor suggested *one* beer a day to increase my milk quality. With my last one 4 years ago we had access to alcohol test strips for milk and whenever I'd go out for a rare night out I'd test in the morning and I never seemed to pass alcohol into my milk. So there's that. Up until maybe 20 years ago, gripe water was a very common thing given to babies for colic in Britain/Ireland. quote:Despite much anecdotal evidence extolling the benefits of gripe water for colic, no formal evaluation has ever been undertaken. Until recently it had been assumed that alcohol provided the soothing effect. For a 4 kg infant, the maximum recommended dose of Woodward's gripe water (3.6% alcohol) would be the equivalent of almost five tots of whisky in an 80 kg adult. In some of the other commercial gripe waters the alcohol has been as high as 9% https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/014107680009300404
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Apr 6, 2021 09:10
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Jedit posted:The standard description of cricket: Is this what a script for a porn movie looks like?
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Apr 6, 2021 09:51
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