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I am just so loving confused about how to deal with this
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Apr 8, 2021 10:19
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 12:55 |
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yet i want to figure it out and i think that makes a difference
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Apr 8, 2021 10:20
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this poo poo aint easy at all goddamn
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Apr 8, 2021 10:22
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It will be easier to figure out with time, distance, and a cleared head. Do you have someone uninvolved in this relationship that you trust, who you can ask to help you extract yourself physically from this situation? I recommend you do so.
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Apr 8, 2021 10:26
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Life makes a lot more sense once you figure out what you actually want and just stop chasing what makes you feel good at the time. Chasing high after high (drugs, sex, etc) will just lead you to depression and an emptiness inside.
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Apr 8, 2021 15:42
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Thing well known for not being important and not making people happy, sex. Did I accidentally slip into some religious seminar?
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Apr 8, 2021 15:48
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Fame Douglas posted:Thing well known for not being important and not making people happy, sex. Did I accidentally slip into some religious seminar? Chasing after sex for its own sake will not lead you to happiness, no.
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Apr 8, 2021 16:08
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Inspector Hound posted:Chasing after sex for its own sake will not lead you to happiness, no. What makes someone happy is a very individual thing, seems like a weird statement to me. There's no greater meaning to life, do what makes you happy (as long as you're not hurting others, of course).
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Apr 8, 2021 16:15
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Buddykins posted:drat it i feel you're right. maybe its my pride. I just hate feeling vulnerable and weak sometimes. Buddykins posted:and i hate letting people down and making mistakes Bro I feel this 100%, I do. It's trite to say man, but relationships are a lot more work than just being in love. That's the easy part. If you guys aren't on the same page, or even in the same book, it's never gonna work out. Having gone sober myself I know it's monumentally more difficult to do with someone around that wants to keep partying, but you'll never separate your coke feelings from how Buddykins feels if you just do a bunch of coke to cover up/cope with how you feel. After both of my seizures I ended up feeling pretty disappointed in myself because I felt like I was letting my wife down - 35 year old man and I can't even drive to the Publix liquor store to get her a pack of smokes all of a sudden. I know it's my cave man brain thinking, but I can't help feel a sense of pride in being able to provide for her. Just about two weeks ago she had to help me into bed because my back was still spasming and that particular motion really set it off, and it really all just hit me at once and I started bawling. Her taking care of me wasn't the plan. At one point, I was working full time and she was pursuing a passion project because I was able to bring in enough that she only had to work part time/per diem at a local animal hospital for us to stay afloat and man that was the happiest year of my life because I was able to do for her, and now here she is lowering me into bed like a decrepit old man. The point I'm trying to make is that it's easy to forget that you have to care for each other. It can't be a one way street - it's not sustainable. If YOU feel that what you need is a partner to support you through getting "California sober" or whatever the saying is now and she's not prepared to give that to you, then you probably need to sit down with each other and figure out what that means for your relationship. Buddykins posted:we just need to communicate while not hosed up. Is that wrong to think? No! Do exactly this! Don't let Buddykins the rock and roll clown make life decisions for the rest of Buddykins. You can't be honest if you have cocaine racing through your brain because the cocaine is going to change the way you think, as will the alcohol, or x, or whatever you're on. I only know you as a poster here, and maybe I have a bias towards cspam folks and foodbev folks in general but you seem like a really good dude in a really bad place - it feels a lot like a place I was in myself. That's my 2¢. As others have offered, my PMs are open as well.
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Apr 8, 2021 16:55
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Fame Douglas posted:What makes someone happy is a very individual thing, seems like a weird statement to me. There's no greater meaning to life, do what makes you happy (as long as you're not hurting others, of course). truckin and fuckin is not an end to itself, no matter how enjoyable it may be
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Apr 8, 2021 17:18
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Fame Douglas posted:What makes someone happy is a very individual thing, seems like a weird statement to me. There's no greater meaning to life, do what makes you happy (as long as you're not hurting others, of course). Indulging all your temptations leads to a happy life is what you're saying? And yes I can be prudish
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Apr 8, 2021 17:44
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Animal Friend posted:truckin and fuckin is not an end to itself, no matter how enjoyable it may be unless you were born on a mountain and raised in a cave, by definition, truckin’ and fuckin’ are not all you crave. you can still crave them, but there will be more.
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Apr 8, 2021 17:49
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Baseline is a weird thing, Buddykins. A normal person's baseline is also normal. With a substance, initially that baseline goes really low, it gives you a boost above it. But over time that level changes. Stay hosed up long enough and your baseline shifts to the top of the chart and it takes the alcohol and coke to life you to baseline making you think that's where normal is. The truth is normal is quite a ways above the hosed-up state where you're at now when you're high all the time. When you come off the substances initially you feel really down because you're not hitting that old feeling of "normal". You're now BELOW the substance baseline when clean, which is pretty low to begin with, which makes people crave the old high. But with just a couple days worth of time your body will shift that baseline back towards normal. Our brains live in the cages we put them in and they try to make normal that boundary. Put your brain in a bigger cage, or better yet, what would it look like if you freed it completely of the restraints you're putting on it? Viginti Septem has issued a correction as of 18:11 on Apr 8, 2021 |
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Apr 8, 2021 18:07
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Animal Friend posted:truckin and fuckin is not an end to itself, no matter how enjoyable it may be If you honestly believe this then I'm sorry but you were never truly serious about truckin and fuckin
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Apr 8, 2021 21:39
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Six strong men threw me into a grave but truckin and fuckin remains all I crave
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Apr 8, 2021 21:40
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Animal Friend posted:truckin and fuckin is not an end to itself, no matter how enjoyable it may be get behind me satan!
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Apr 8, 2021 21:40
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My girls aya sent me a some dolma :3 It's the friendliest thing her parents have done and I feel pretty optimistic about the future for the first time in awhile. I started painting stuff with raku glazes for the first time this week and I want to bring a gift with me whenever I finally get back to visit. So I'm gonna engrave some teacups with gold lustre in the form of calligraphy and do an individualized set for the household. The service I hired for the designs gave three and I'm kinda torn on what to choose:   
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Apr 8, 2021 21:58
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Zedhe Khoja posted:My girls aya sent me a some dolma :3 Help us out here, what do each of those mean/represent? Are they just innocuous caligraphy-style art? Middle one looks like a Sailor Moon-style transformation as King Arthur draws the sword from the stone. The bottom one looks like someone kneeling to hug a short person or child. Tubgoat has issued a correction as of 22:36 on Apr 8, 2021 |
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Apr 8, 2021 22:34
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They all have the same letters, it's just her name. No greater meaning beyond the aesthetics. Top one is kufic, the bottom one is just a basic calligraphy, and the middle is the letters all kinda piled on each other like an arabic version of Tolkeins JRRT symbol.
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Apr 8, 2021 22:41
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Good show! If it's for teacups, I vote the bottom one as it fills out the most X-axis of those two, and I think the calligraphy pile is prettier than the first admittedly-cool square grid carve-out thing.
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Apr 8, 2021 22:56
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I vote kufic. Bitches love right angles.
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Apr 9, 2021 00:43
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But seriously, the kufic.
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Apr 9, 2021 00:43
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Every time this thread is quiet for 24 hours I'm like guess Buddykins finally overdosed, rip to a real one
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Apr 10, 2021 09:24
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I choose to believe he's frolicking in a field somewhere upstate. At a farm that illegally grows coca leaves and is staffed by instagram thots.
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Apr 10, 2021 09:27
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Apr 10, 2021 15:49
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instagram is loving stupid
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Apr 11, 2021 13:40
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but girls want that more than numbers these days
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Apr 11, 2021 13:40
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girls just wanna have fun
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Apr 11, 2021 14:02
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Hot Karl Marx posted:girls just wanna have fun They do?
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Apr 11, 2021 14:17
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A
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Apr 11, 2021 14:21
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To do the laundry And in the bathroom Da da da
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Apr 11, 2021 14:28
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Iron Crowned posted:They do? It's all we really waaaaaant
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Apr 12, 2021 01:37
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Lib and let die posted:To do the laundry
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Apr 12, 2021 10:39
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drat i forgot that song existed
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Apr 12, 2021 10:40
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Buddykins posted:instagram is loving stupid Buddykins posted:but girls want that more than numbers these days so do you kids just message each other on instagram before you gently caress instead of texting? How or why is that better... y'know what, don't try to answer it. I'm too old I wouldn't get it. God bless
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Apr 12, 2021 10:47
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its all stupid as hell. Social media is loving dumb
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Apr 12, 2021 10:49
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I rather just text
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Apr 12, 2021 10:49
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i just made it for work yet people ask for your ig more than your number nowadays
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Apr 12, 2021 10:51
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maybe its just working a nightclub
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Apr 12, 2021 10:51
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dont ever work at a nightclub
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Apr 12, 2021 10:52
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