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The Zombie Guy posted:- While walking drunk, I jumped in the air to click my heels together. I landed poorly on one leg, and blew my ankle out. That took quite a bit of physiotherapy to get it working properly again. This is possibly my favourite one so far.
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Apr 7, 2021 13:20
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A couple of recent injuries, but as I have hEDS and vEDS, I have many similar stories:
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Apr 7, 2021 13:36
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The guy above me sounds like he needs to practice some yoga.The Zombie Guy posted:- While walking drunk, I jumped in the air to click my heels together. I landed poorly on one leg, and blew my ankle out. That took quite a bit of physiotherapy to get it working properly again. I can't stop laughing at this, this is like something from a movie.
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Apr 7, 2021 13:38
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The Zombie Guy posted:- While walking drunk, I jumped in the air to click my heels together. I landed poorly on one leg, and blew my ankle out. That took quite a bit of physiotherapy to get it working properly again. I am so terribly sorry for laughing at your misfortune, but this is a cool rear end injury you should be proud of. It reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOPHorPkiTw
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Apr 7, 2021 14:09
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Caesar Saladin posted:The guy above me sounds like he needs to practice some yoga. Not a guy and Google hEDS.
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Apr 7, 2021 14:12
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Oh well fair enough. Thats a drag.
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Apr 7, 2021 14:15
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There are so many folks in here who are stretching the definition of "dumb" WAY beyond its limits.The Zombie Guy posted:- While walking drunk, I jumped in the air to click my heels together. I landed poorly on one leg, and blew my ankle out. That took quite a bit of physiotherapy to get it working properly again. See, this guy gets it.
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Apr 7, 2021 14:35
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You Are A Elf posted:I am so terribly sorry for laughing at your misfortune, but this is a cool rear end injury you should be proud of. It reminded me of this: I'm glad y'all have gotten some enjoyment out of my idiocy. My wife is always sure to thoroughly explain to the physiotherapist exactly what stupid thing I did that landed me there for treatment. Other dumb poo poo I've needed physio for include: - Severe muscle strain in my neck, caused by head-banging along to music. - Wrist injury, due to pounding on my steering wheel, while jamming along to music. - While drunk, deciding to go down one of those huge inflatable slides. I dove down head first, did a couple of somersaults on the way down, and messed up my back. So whenever I go to physio, I get  "So what did you do this time?"
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Apr 9, 2021 06:33
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When I was living in Japan I went to Mt Zao in Yamagata with my ex and her friends and like brash Australians and Canadians who told me, don't worry about not snowboarding in 15 years, you'll be fine. Get to the top, find out that I still can't snowboard, use the thing like a sled part way, fall part way, wipe out part way. The month after that, I fall out of bed the night prior to the tohoku earthquake and later that march I meet a girl in a bar and we get drunk and sleep together. The morning after that is when my nerves decided to let me know that somewhere along the line I herniated a disc and would have trouble standing and walking &c. It's weird that I didn't hurt right away after falling down a mountain because I'm positive that's when it got fubar. Had to come back to the states and have surgery.
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Apr 9, 2021 06:44
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In the line of "drunk antics": a friend of mine got blackout drunk at the local fair and apparently tried to dance. Fell badly on one leg, hosed something up, and had to wear a cast and walk on crutches for a good time. Same friend in a different scenario got rear-ended by another car at a red light. They were both braking, by his own account the other driver didn't hit him that hard, but he dislocated his neck and couldn't work for months. That one sounded like it hurt badly.
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Apr 9, 2021 09:12
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just remembered: when I was a kid my father went to a junkyard looking for a particular car part and the proprietor forgot he was there and locked him in. from what he told us, my father had to climb over the gate and leap down from it, and he landed such that he basically turned one ankle into gravel (I remembered it as “fractured in ten places” but apparently that was just when the doctor stopped counting). he drove all the way home with his hosed up ankle and iirc my mom had to all but drag him to the hospital because he was just sure all he needed was ice and rest my mom, being at the time our breadwinner, managed to eventually pay off his medical and physical therapy bills on a waitress’ income by picking up extra shifts and such. remember when that was possible? man, the past really is a foreign country
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Apr 9, 2021 09:30
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Pretty sure willingly getting on a horse counts as dumb. Fell off a horse at 19 and pretty sure I got a concussion, thankfully I was wearing a helmet because my head was killing me. He was a good horse, just stopped and looked at me like I was the idiot. I rode him lots after that and learned to fall better. He was a nice horse, he just liked to buck when he got excited and didn't seem to know why I couldn't stay on. He would always wait for me when I fell off or stop when I talked to him if I held on. Friend of a friend was riding the friend's horse and at the end of the trail ride her rear end in a top hat horse decided enough was enough and bucked. The saddle slipped entirely sideways so that poor lady was flopping around sideways as the horse understandably started bucking harder. Her shirt got caught on the saddle horn so she was ripped topless, and one of the horses' hooves cracked her helmet right down the center like an egg. My horse was shocked enough to just back straight into a tree like "I'M BEING GOOD, IDK WHAT SHE'S DOING". Never ride without a helmet, kids. I don't care what discipline you are or how uncool it looks. Seeing that lady's helmet crack like an egg really stayed with me as it could've easily been her skull.
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Apr 9, 2021 10:52
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empty sea posted:Friend of a friend was riding the friend's horse and at the end of the trail ride her rear end in a top hat horse decided enough was enough and bucked. The saddle slipped entirely sideways so that poor lady was flopping around sideways as the horse understandably started bucking harder. Her shirt got caught on the saddle horn so she was ripped topless, and one of the horses' hooves cracked her helmet right down the center like an egg. 
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Apr 9, 2021 15:18
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i was at a party and i noticed a tiki torch had gone out so to be helpful i tried to fix it, but the wick had gone down inside the fuel can thing. So I unscrewed the cap and stuck my index finger in to try and fish out the string but surprise! my finger wedged into the hole and surprise! the edges of the hole were razor sharp. I'd had a few drinks so I just span my finger around a bit to try and free it, then just yanked it out. whoops i practically degloved my pointer finger.
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Apr 9, 2021 23:05
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Probably the dumbest is from when I was 5 or 6, and my family had swapped houses with a family in Wales (why they wanted to swap houses with someone in Phoenix remains a mystery). I was running around the house playing tag with my brother and ran into my mom at full tilt - she just happened to be holding a pot of freshly boiled water that all came crashing down on me. My shoulders both looked and smelled like cooked meat, and because they were so horrifying, even the hospital didn't realize until days later that my head was much, much worse. Most of what I remember is horrifying pain and being incredibly pissed that my parents wouldn't let me go lie in the snow and die. Good thing we'd house swapped though, the healthcare system deemed us residents and we paid nothing for all my medical care! Pissed off a different brother one time when he was holding a baseball bat. Let me tell you, a baseball bat to the balls is not a pleasant experience. Was working on my truck and doing something with a razor, slipped, and cut my pinky down to the bone. As I am prone to do, I superglued it back together and went back to work. Healed fine except for a weird little ball of scar tissue right at the base of the nail. Was playing tag when I was 19 or 20, ran into a tree branch and ripped off part of my scalp and all my hair right at the front of my head, and gave myself a concussion to boot. Looked very stupid for a while while that all healed/grew back. Was checking Christmas lights for burned out bulbs once, managed to grab a shattered bulb and electrocute myself. Dropped the strand with a yelp, and then when bending over to pick it back up and resume checking, I grabbed the same loving bulb, stabbed the leads into my hand, and electrocuted myself again. Finally decided to wear gloves after that. And my most recent one was waking up and realizing that a) I'd thrown out my back in my sleep (three messed up discs make that a common occurrence) b) I couldn't move, and c) I was in an unbelievable amount of pain. My mom and brother had to find keys to my house, dress me, carry me to the car, and then carry me into the ER. Ended up being put on a high enough dosage of (I think) tramadol to effectively drug me to sleep for a week straight lol. Even after that, it took 3 months of physical therapy to be able to walk and move somewhat normally again.
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Apr 10, 2021 03:37
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I've had two incidents that fit this category, but one could argue that they are the result of poor genetics, etc. 1. I had to adjust the air register in the ceiling. I got out the stepladder, as always. I stepped up onto the bottom step with my left foot and began to ascend. I instantly felt a pop and intense stabbing pain and heat in my calf. I fell to the floor, grabbing my leg and rolling around. Mrs. Genesplicer took me to urgent care, and after a few tests, the doctor concluded I had ruptured my Plantaris muscle. The bruise went from knee to ankle, and was quite a sight. And all this happened because I stepped up on a step. 2. I teach middle school (Specifically, 7th and 8th grade science). In the past, we have had 3 or 4 pep rallies per year. They tend to have a staff vs student contest as part of the rally. I generally don't participate, mainly because we have lots of younger teachers who are eager to play. (I'm 58, and have taught at this school longer than any other teacher. I started here in 1991.) However, a couple of years ago, I was invited to participate in a game of "Guard The Castle". For those of you who have not heard of this, it is basically a modified version of Dodge Ball, where you throw the ball at the person, or at a cone that they are guarding. In any event, I was invited to play and the participants were assembled on the floor, ready to go. I was walking to my position, everybody was ready to go, when suddenly I felt a pop in my right knee and a stabbing pain. I decided not to play, to hand off to another teacher, and turned to return to my seat. The ref had not seen this, and blew the whistle. Adding insult to injury, the student who was opposite me saw me turn my back and took the opportunity to drill me between the shoulder blades with the dodge ball. I limped off and sat down. The principal noticed I was in pain and sent me to the worker's comp doctor. Turns out I tore the meniscus in my knee BY WALKING OUT ONTO THE GYM FLOOR. It eventually required surgery to correct, and I'm all better now. So, not a dumb mistake, but dumb nonetheless. Stupid substandard DNA.
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Apr 10, 2021 04:37
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I need someone to explain to me how so many people have destroyed their backs while sleeping.
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Apr 10, 2021 12:27
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:I need someone to explain to me how so many people have destroyed their backs while sleeping. You'll understand the night you turn 30.
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Apr 10, 2021 12:35
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:I need someone to explain to me how so many people have destroyed their backs while sleeping. Poor nutrition, sedentary lifestyle, genetics, and: Teketeketeketeke posted:You'll understand the night you turn 30. Also there's a pretty big ??? factor as the medical community doesn't really understand what actually causes back pain.
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Apr 10, 2021 12:59
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Teketeketeketeke posted:You'll understand the night you turn 30. I’m 33 and I don’t understand
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Apr 10, 2021 13:21
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:I’m 33 and I don’t understand That means that you aren't aware of the injuries you've already sustained while sleeping. The nerve damage is permanent and almost certainly fatal, RIP
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Apr 10, 2021 13:29
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Huskalator posted:Poor nutrition, sedentary lifestyle, genetics, and: Tight hamstrings & sitting all day lmao
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Apr 10, 2021 16:10
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Most of my injuries are traceable back to high impact poo poo I did when I was 18-24 and some part I hurt back in the day just deciding “gently caress this and gently caress you”. I miss having knees that didn’t hurt. That was nice.
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Apr 10, 2021 16:12
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Teketeketeketeke posted:You'll understand the night you turn 30. ON POINT. Also if you're anything like me, you're going to wake up with Ricky Don't Lose That Number in your head and your pubes will turn stark white.
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Apr 10, 2021 16:16
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About a month ago I was doing some squats - no weights or anything just something to get the blood flowing after I'd been sitting for a couple hours, and when I came up on one I got this huge pain in my neck. No idea why I wasn't craning my neck or anything during, just somehow this really hosed up my neck and I could barely turn my head for like a week. Eventually the pain - while not going away - migrates down to like my right shoulder blade. Moving my right arm at all causes it to hurt. The pain slowly fades throughout the day, but lying down is uncomfortable and each day I wake up with this part of my back killing me again and it takes hours to subside. Rinse repeat for the last month or so, I figured I'd torn something somehow but gently caress if I'm going to a hospital for anything non-life threatening right now. Woke up today and... it's completely gone. Zero pain in my neck or back, full range of motion on my arm. Tepidly did some squats/pushups to test, feel completely back to normal. I hate the human body so much, what the gently caress was that about?
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Apr 10, 2021 18:58
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kntfkr posted:Also if you're anything like me, you're going to wake up with Ricky Don't Lose That Number in your head and your pubes will turn stark white.
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Apr 10, 2021 21:22
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I got blackout drunk while alone, then when my brain started working correctly again my left knee couldn't support my body weight any more and has been hurting ever since. Don't know what happened. Getting blackout drunk is dumb as hell.
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Apr 10, 2021 23:22
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One of the things that throws off my personal pain scale is from something dumb that wasn't my fault. Apparently when I was circumcised the doctor didn't 100% get rid of my foreskin, although it wasn't apparent until after puberty. Once I morphed into an adult, what had been a little dot right behind the head of my penis turned into a fleshy ball that became increasingly annoying and that I was self-conscious about. It could also chafe and catch on things. It was about the size of a bb, and just about dead center, rather like the bead at the end of a shotgun barrel:  In my late 20s I had good insurance and liked my doctor, so I decided to get rid of it. I was married at the time, and my wife accompanied me to the appointment (we both had the same doctor and frequently went to each other's visits). Doctor went ahead and injected some anesthetic, waited a minute, and then took a scalpel to it. Instantly I got hit with massive pain that shot from my dick all the way down my legs, just stunning pain. I flinched, the doctor stopped what she was doing, and shot my dick up with more anesthetic. Tried again, same result - the pain was like some pure, elemental thing. The anesthetic didn't seem to make any difference whatsoever. Both my doctor and my wife looked really concerned at this point, but I was committed. I told the doctor to just go ahead, and braced myself for it. My wife was holding my hand through the process, and I'm lucky I didn't injure her from how tight I was holding on. The poor doctor looked distressed, but completed the excision, and after that everything healed up just fine. But it ranks at or very near the top of the most painful things I have experienced. The best guess is that what was left was mostly nerve tissue, and that in adolescence the only thing that grew was that nervous tissue, leaving me with a very sensitive remnant of my foreskin. Considering circumcision is hardly a necessary procedure to being with, it seems like this counts as a dumb injury.
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Apr 10, 2021 23:33
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I used to get that “swollen uvula” thing all the drat time. Turns out I have sleep apnea and was snoring fit to rip that poor lil thing off. It would only swell up during allergy season, however. I found a solution that would alleviate it pretty quick though: Gargling with Diet Coke. For whatever reason, that would make it subside. My dumb injury was having 2 disks in my neck just rupture. No reason. No car accident, no sports injury, no fall. Nothing. Just pop. Only way I knew is that the “ejecta” began pressing on the nerves for my left arm and it started hurting and not working right. My insurance denied the surgery to fix it. Non essential. This gave me the opportunity to listen while my Ortho Doc pulled out his recorder and proceeded to dictate the most professional, the most eloquent and calm “gently caress you, you loving gently caress and gently caress your loving mother while you’re at it” letter it’s ever been my pleasure to hear. Surgery was approved the next day.
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Apr 11, 2021 03:04
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kntfkr posted:ON POINT. I just found a white pube this morning. The rest of the McMuffin was okay though.
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Apr 11, 2021 04:56
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I've had uvulitis before, where my uvula swelled up so bad I kept feeling like I was almost swallowing it, and it would block my throat / airway. Really annoying and really uncomfortable feeling when swallowing would pull on it.
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Apr 11, 2021 06:59
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Huskalator posted:Poor nutrition, sedentary lifestyle, genetics, and: Evolution bodging a vertical spine design out of something that's meant to be horizontal HTH
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Apr 11, 2021 09:41
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My gf was in a rock climbing gym and had just finished her climb when she hopped down the remaining ten inches or so to the mat. Felt a bit of pain in her foot, realized she probably strained something and drove home. Had me help her into the house, but otherwise didn't worry too much. The next day, she had a lot of pain and swelling and we went to a doctor to get it checked out. Hairline fracture in the ankle. Was in a cast for nearly a month. Myself, when I was 10 or 11, I decided I wanted to try whittling with a Swiss Army knife I had, with fold out blades and such. Was doing okay making an elephant, when I decided to carve an eye by stabbing the knife down while gripping it, and basically spinning it back and forth. Was doing well until the blade folded up forcefully, chopping cleanly into my pinky finger. Sort of in shock, I walked inside to tell my mom, and she rushed me to the washroom to wash and clean it. Then I saw the amount of blood I was dripping everywhere and threw up in the toilet. Still have that scar 25 years later!
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Apr 12, 2021 03:59
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I don't know how, but I have cut myself with cardboard before. Was ripping open a box to break down and noticed I had cut a jagged line down the outside of my arm. Didn't scar thankfully.
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Apr 12, 2021 04:09
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Zil posted:I don't know how, but I have cut myself with cardboard before. Was ripping open a box to break down and noticed I had cut a jagged line down the outside of my arm. Didn't scar thankfully. Same, was setting up some TV display when I worked seasonal at circuit city and cut my hand shifting my hand down the side of the box. Hurt way more than a paper cut.
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Apr 12, 2021 04:19
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When I was 18 or 19 (first year in college, anyway) I went to open a pull-top can of tuna--one of these: I pulled it too hard with my right hand and took a big chunk out of my left hand with the edge of the lid. Still have the scar a couple decades later. Was 100% sober at the time, for what it's worth. Sir John Falstaff fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Apr 12, 2021 |
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Apr 12, 2021 05:00
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While playing dodgeball my mate Dylan whipped too hard and dislocated his shoulder - and the time I was cleaning the bathroom I pulled my hamstring. Lucky duck got that good green whistle when the ambos came.
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Apr 12, 2021 06:03
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lt_kennedy posted:While playing dodgeball my mate Dylan whipped too hard and dislocated his shoulder - and the time I was cleaning the bathroom I pulled my hamstring. Found the Australian. You don’t see penthrane whistles anywhere outside of AU/NZ
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Apr 12, 2021 14:54
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Rabbit Hill posted:Sometimes, just being in the right mental headspace can help you endure anything. ~30 years of menstrual cramps have taught me that being in pain and suffering are two separate things, and you suffer a lot less if you don't fight the pain but kinda...relax into it and accept it. (With cramps specifically, it's easier to do this because you know there's nothing going wrong with your body -- you know you're not in any danger, it's just cramps. If I didn't have a uterus and was in this much abdominal pain, it would be a different story.) One of the best decisions I insisted on in my 30s was being on nonstop BCP so that I no longer have a period. It's been a many years and it's been bliss. Allows me to really focus on the unending horror that is my depression and anxiety. Zil posted:I don't know how, but I have cut myself with cardboard before. Was ripping open a box to break down and noticed I had cut a jagged line down the outside of my arm. Didn't scar thankfully. I have cut myself on round ice cubes, eggshells, and dried cake batter.
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Apr 14, 2021 03:15
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That70sHeidi posted:One of the best decisions I insisted on in my 30s was being on nonstop BCP so that I no longer have a period. It's been a many years and it's been bliss. Allows me to really focus on the unending horror that is my depression and anxiety. Wife did that (nonstop BCP, not the cake batter) and suddenly developed pulmonary emboli at the end of her 30s (which was linked to the BCP at that age.) She had to stop taking it right then and there, so I booked the first appointment I could get to do my part in the battle against procreation.) Be careful, yo. Personal content: Not too long after the ensuing vasectomy, my wife suddenly got it into her head that maybe (just maybe) we SHOULD have a kid after all. Many appointments with an appropriate family therapist later, I was back at the same doctor so they could try to do some harvesting of genetic material. That hurt much more than the original procedure (Schadenfreude) and let to a few rounds of IVF (massive financial injury) that were very unpleasant over a long period. Happy ending: we went the route of embryo donation and have an insanely awesome you child who is delightful and healthy and hasn’t yet noticed that her parents are affair bit older than the parents of nearly all of her friends.
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Apr 14, 2021 05:45
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