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jim puts dwight's stapler in jell-o
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Apr 13, 2021 22:55
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| # ? May 30, 2024 19:54 |
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jim pissed all over dwights shoes
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Apr 13, 2021 23:12
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Jim replaces all of dwight's family with body doubles
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Apr 13, 2021 23:13
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Jim conducts brain surgery on Dwight to artificially induce Capgras syndrome, causing Dwight to become thoroughly convinced that all his friends and loved ones have been replaced by body doubles even though they have not.
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Apr 13, 2021 23:52
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jim mugs dwight for his camera
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Apr 14, 2021 00:03
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The lights flicker in Dunder Mifflin offices for a mere second, but when they come back up Dwight is sprawled across his desk, knife in his back. Jim, in a butler uniform, mugs for the camera.
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Apr 14, 2021 00:33
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Dwight wakes up in a bathtub full of ice, he stands up and discovers a painful wound hastily stapled on his left side. On the toilet is a plate of Jell-O with a kidney in it
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Apr 14, 2021 00:44
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A beautiful woman comes to The Office on business from out of town and flirts with Dwight. She asks him out after work, because she's lonely, and on the date the mystery woman seduces Dwight and brings him back to her hotel room. When they're there she starts blowing Dwight on the bed. He is in ecstasy, all his dreams are coming true. And then the woman stands up and removes her wig and low cut dress. It was Jim all along! And he has a huge cock! Jim mugs for the camera.
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Apr 14, 2021 01:02
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim mugs dwight for his camera this is from an episode of the office in a parallel dimension where the show is a gritty drama instead of comedy
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Apr 14, 2021 01:37
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Waterbed Wendy posted:this is from an episode of the office in a parallel dimension where the show is a gritty drama instead of comedy Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit -Stanley
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Apr 14, 2021 01:46
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Cubone posted:jim puts dwight's stapler in jell-o jim puts a stapler in Dwight’s jell-o
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Apr 14, 2021 02:40
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Jim rigs up a booby trap in the office printer and feigns frustration that it's on the fritz again, and gets Dwight to come check it. Dwight opens it and reaches in to get the toner cartridge when the printer springs to life and fully degloves Dwight.
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Apr 14, 2021 02:51
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Jim replaces Dwight's staples with jello, so when Dwight goes to staple two papers together his stapler squeezes a small amount of red jello onto the papers. Dwight then beats Jim to death with the stapler.
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Apr 14, 2021 02:55
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Dwight eats Jello for lunch. That afternoon he begins to experience extreme stomach pain. He collapses at work and is rushed to the ER. Turns out that Jim put individual staples into Dwight’s Jello, and they’re shredding his intestines to ribbons.
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Apr 14, 2021 03:01
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Jim replaces Dwight's cat's treats with little jello squares and the cat doesn't seem to like them quite as much as its normal treats but still eats them.
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Apr 14, 2021 03:05
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Jim gets Dwight to help design a bunch of new dresses for his fashion line, then locks him in the basement before the big fashion show.
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Apr 14, 2021 03:13
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Jim unteaches Dwight how to do math
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Apr 14, 2021 03:23
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Jim teaches Dwight to do math, but it’s “new math” and takes Dwight twice as long to do simple addition and multiplication
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Apr 14, 2021 03:40
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Jilm: hello Jim. I am jilm Jim: no Jilm: I have come to replace you Jim. Jim: no. Jilm: tell Dwight goodbye, then step into my chest cavity Jim: Dwight, help me? Dwight: I will help you. I will fight jilm. Jim: that was a trick. I have exposed your earnest emotions, which are alien and stupid to me. You are stupid. People say things about you. Jilm: Jim is right, Dwight. Once Jim is gone I will harry you. I will form an alliance with the front woman and harry you. Front woman: will we or won’t we, jilm Jilm: we will. Jim has entered me. I am now complete. Dwight, I have removed the screws from everything you own. You are vexed.
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Apr 14, 2021 03:40
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Jim chronically underfunds the education system for decades and forces the Balkanized school systems to rely on the dictates of the largest markets, leading to highly politicized textbooks and an emphasis on teaching to the test. Dwight is woefully underprepared for competing in the global economy. Jim mugs the camera.
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Apr 14, 2021 03:42
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Every day Jim captures the current Dwight and replaces him with a Dwight clone who believes the time is precisely 1/365th of a day earlier than it really is. After a year of being progressively later and later each day, the Dwight clone shows up a full day late to work and is fired. Jim then releases all 366 Dwights into the office simultaneously
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Apr 14, 2021 04:37
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Jim shoves Dwight into one of the The Fly teleporters while pooping into the other one.
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Apr 14, 2021 08:26
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dwight thinks he's alone in the office kitchen and performs an embarrassing song and dance routine to his favourite j-pop video. he shows up on youtube the next day as a viral sensation. what he didn't know is that jim's mug's a camera.
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Apr 14, 2021 09:48
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all the characters from The Office slowly morph into their counterparts in the original British version, except for Dwight who morphs into Mackenzie Crook’s character from Pirates of the Caribbean
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Apr 14, 2021 16:33
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Thank you so much, Talk To Transformer. Jim was preparing to play the ultimate prank upon Dwight and Andy. Soon they would know the truth. The prank came in the form of this cheesecake. Yes, that was a pie crust. They had glued the top layer of Cheesecake to a bottom layer of Cheesecake, which was baked in a cast-iron skillet to resemble an actual pie. Jim wanted to tell them the truth, but thought this would be too obvious, so they went for the cheese part instead. Dwight: It’s not real! Andy: Yeah, but… it looks real. Dwight: Andy: “I’m telling you, Jim, it’s a fake!” Dwight: “Really? What are we going to do, eat it?” Improbable Lobster fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Apr 14, 2021 |
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Apr 14, 2021 17:35
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With practised ease Jim took Dwight's wrists in one hand, while with the other he squeezed his throat. Dwight gasped in breath and his voice broke. "How did you find out?" he said. "How did you find out you loved me?" "I'm sorry. I wanted to say it all in person. You're my love, I'm sorry." Jim broke free of Dwight's death grip and jumped to his feet. "You're something," he said to Dwight. "I feel so much more … so much more … so much more alive when I'm with you." He took a step toward Dwight and spat on the floor. "I'll always love you." He reached out and
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Apr 14, 2021 18:22
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Jim mugged to the camera. This was it. His ultimate and final prank on Dwight. What happened next could only be described as shocking, and the video posted to YouTube is a rare gem in the modern day of leaks. We can only imagine what Dwight had to say on his last day. Jim wanted everyone to know just how much Dwight is a pussy. “I’m going to put this on the internet,” Jim said as he cleared his throat and prepared to speak. “Now I’m going to take the camera and position it so you can see my note. This is what it says.” Jim then slid a piece of paper out of his pocket. "I found him in my van yesterday. He was walking around in there just rocking back and forth. I have no idea how long he was in there, but when I pulled up he saw me coming. His tail started wagging and he climbed right out. He was a skinny dog and was completely matted. The longer I looked at him the more I wanted to take him home. I took him home, gave him a bath, some food and a bath, he got a haircut, had all his nails cut, and he’s been with me ever since." "Oh no, my dog gave me a card too." Jim, I’m a city girl and sometimes I forget to clean out the pens before bed. My golden dog says it’s ok to keep stuff in there so we’ll do that a couple times a week. One night I forgot. I got home and he had gone out at 3:00 a.m. when the apartment was completely silent. He came back in with a shirt, a card, and a package of hotdogs and cheese
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Apr 14, 2021 18:44
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Jim proposes "Amusement Park Day" and everybody's extremely excited. Even Dwight begrudgingly admits that it sounds like fun. Everybody lines up for the most extreme roller coaster there - THE SCRANTONATOR. Dwight is in the back of the group and is about to get on the coaster when he sees a little boy behind him crying. The boy says he wants to ride next and Dwight, honorably, gives up his seat for the kid. The rest of the office is on the same car and takes off. The car, bizarrely, never returns to the station. Security footage sees it go up the first hill but never reach the bottom. It simply disappears. The park is shut down and a long investigation begins, but the mystery is never solved. Months later, Dwight is laying in bed at night and thinks he sees someone standing in the corner of the room. When he turns on the light, nobody is there. He hasn't been sleeping well since the disappearance, and this unnerves him either further. He walks downstairs and sees Jim and Pam eating breakfast at his kitchen table. He lets out a yell of terror and they both disappear. The next day he passes by the old Dunder Mifflin building and sees Michael standing on the roof. Michael leaps off but disappears before he hits the ground. That night, Dwight sleeps with a gun next to his bed. He's awoken from a restless sleep by a nightmare and looks outside. The entire office is dancing, silently, in his beet field. Kevin opens his mouth wider than should be possible and points at Dwight's 2nd floor bedroom window. Dwight crawls back into bed and pulls the covers up when he begins to hear a tapping at the window. He hides under the covers until sleep mercifully takes him at some point. When he wakes up, there are hairline cracks covering the window. Dwight slowly walks downstairs and sees a nude Toby standing in his kitchen. When Dwight steps off the final step Oscar runs full speed down the stairs past him, grabbing Toby and running outside. When Dwight looks outside, no one is there. He takes a step to go back inside when he sees Jim on the peak of his roof, dancing silently.
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Apr 14, 2021 18:45
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Dwight couldn't believe his luck. They'd finally fired Jim. His arch enemy, now, finally gone. Dwight looked to Jim's desk, he was gone, AND his stupid mug. Now he could finally make Jim pay. He wasn't stupid, he had to leave the perfect mug out for Jim to see. Dwight walked over to Jim's desk, taking great care to not spill coffee on himself. He was careful not to touch Jim's phone, not to send any messages, and definitely not to look at his cell phone. Dwight then sat down in Jim's chair, sitting perfectly and he put on his sunglasses. It was his perfect way of torturing his arch enemy. Dwight watched the huge monitor on Jim's desk, his heart raced. He could almost taste victory. Jim was on the phone, talking to someone and when the person hung up, he picked up a file and started reading. Dwight looked at the old woman next to him, so she must have known the woman. Dwight looked at the woman next to him. She still had her eyes closed. Dwight felt like he had just ran a marathon, his mind raced and it wasn't from the ride at all. "You alright?" Dwight said, not knowing who the old woman was. "My job is over," she said. Dwight looked at the woman with some kind of respect. "I didn't know they did stuff like this here." "They do, but there aren't many left," she said. "We are still here though." "Then we've got to make the best of it," Dwight said. "I need to get out of here," she said. "Not possible." "We are on a hill. Can you carry me down?" "It would probably be easier to throw you off the hill," Dwight said. "I would rather stay here," she said. "I'm sorry," Dwight said.
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Apr 14, 2021 18:50
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Jim opens a netherworld hole in a breakfast beet.
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Apr 14, 2021 18:55
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After moving in with Pam, Jim invites Dwight to dinner at their new house. For weeks, Dwight refuses, suspecting Jim of another prank. He finally relents after many promises from Jim to be on his best behavior. Dwight arrives at the house; he even brought a bottle of Schrute Farms famous beetroot liquor as a housewarming gift. Jim takes the gift. "Hope you're hungry; I'm making steamed clams for dinner tonight!" At this point, Dwight can smell something burning from the kitchen. Jim panics and runs to the kitchen to check on the food. Dwight waits, but Jim does not return, and the burning smells and smoke from the kitchen continue to build. After Dwight is left waiting at the dinner table for over an hour, Jim finally returns from the kitchen with a plate of... hamburgers? "What is this, Jim? I thought you said you were making steamed clams?" "Oh no, Dwight, you're mistaken.", says Jim. "I was making steamed *hams.*" Jim mugs at the camera. Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Apr 14, 2021 |
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Apr 14, 2021 19:28
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Jim eats several cans of beans over the course of the day. He starts to complain of intestinal discomfort and excuses himself to use the bathroom. Dwight scoffs at Jim’s poor intestinal fortitude. Jim continues to eat beans and make frequent trips to the bathroom, earning Dwight’s further scorn. It’s only at the end of the day that Dwight learns Jim has been going down to Dwight’s car to release his farts.
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Apr 14, 2021 22:08
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Jim consensually finger blasts the camera's dad while the camera watches. Jim mugs for Dwight.
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Apr 14, 2021 22:23
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Jim, not really feeling it today, pours a bag of sugar into Dwight's gas tank.
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Apr 14, 2021 22:32
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Jim tells Dwight the atmosphere is breathable and that it's safe for Dwight to remove his helmet.
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Apr 14, 2021 22:49
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Jim discovers the satyr, Slienus, passed out in his rose garden. Jim helps the satyr up and extends to him the hospitality of his home. Dionysus, the god of wine, is a good friend of Silenus and learns of Jim's generosity. He offers to repay Jim's kindness by granting Jim any wish he desires. Jim wishes that everything he touch turn into gelatin. He promptly goes and touches all of Dwight's stuff. When Dwight objects, Jim turns him into gelatin. He mugs the camera before the picture goes out because the camera has become gelatin.
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Apr 14, 2021 22:55
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Jim drives donuts around Dwight's beet field with his truck.
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Apr 14, 2021 22:57
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Jim spends an entire day at work with his dick and balls hanging out of his pants and never acknowledges it to Dwight. For some reason everyone in the office is okay with this prank.
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Apr 14, 2021 23:10
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Big Beef City posted:Dwight couldn't believe his luck. They'd finally fired Jim. His arch enemy, now, finally gone. Dwight looked to Jim's desk, he was gone, AND his stupid mug. Now he could finally make Jim pay. He wasn't stupid, he had to leave the perfect mug out for Jim to see. I adore this
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Apr 14, 2021 23:18
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| # ? May 30, 2024 19:54 |
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Jim travels back in time to make the prefix to the second amendment ambiguous enough that it becomes a crux in the culture war nearly three centuries later, with a small but frenetically charged group of voters who treat firearm laws as the single issue upon which they base any vote, giving them an outsized disproportionate power over the political bodies of the state of Pennsylvania. This leads to extremely lax purchasing restrictions on high capacity semi-automatic rifles being enshrined in law. When Dwight tries to enforce his volunteer sheriff’s powers on Andy, the lunatic Andy comes unhinged and buys a rifle down the street with no time to cool down. He returns to the office and massacres Dwight, Oscar, Michael, and Jim. With his dying breath, Jim mugs the camera.
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Apr 15, 2021 00:58
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