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Jim calls Dwight a “jive rear end honkey.”
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Apr 19, 2021 14:23
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| # ? May 31, 2024 00:55 |
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SuperMechagodzilla posted:Jim gifts Dwight a mug that reads "#1 Dad", then secretly replaces it with a mug that reads "#4 Dad". Dwight becomes increasingly desperate to impress the mug, as he believes it is judging him. This would be ev en better if Jim had Mugs for #1, #2, #3, and #5, and randomly changed between them. Dwight would come up with increasingly bizarre rituals to try to crack back into the #1 spot.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:24
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Jim kidnaps Dwight forces him to watch as Jim has sex with Pam. Pam is unaware of Dwight’s presence. Jim questions Dwight afterwards, pressing his captive to rate his performance, stamina and appearance. He insists Dwight go into detail with his critique and then uses Dwight as a sounding board for future ideas. Jim keeps promising he’ll release Dwight but keeps pushing back the date on flimsy excuses.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:27
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Jim says he's "running around the world to build up momentum" and runs out the front door. 2 years later Jim explodes through that same door and punches Dwight, launching him into the stratosphere.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:32
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Jim murders Dwight's grandmother and eats her then dresses in her clothes as Dwight in on his way to visit her. Dwight arrives at his grandmother's house and is immediately wise to Jim's ruse. Jim, in his arrogance, continues to play the part - coming up with more and more outlandish excuses as to why he does not in any way resemble Dwight's grandmother.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:51
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Jim transforms Dwight's dog, Mose, into a human. Embarrassed, Dwight frantically begins retconning all media so that Mose was human all along. Dwight refilms prior scenes and scrubs fan messageboards. Satisfied his work is complete, Dwight flops into his chair and begins eating a raw beet. Jim asks to borrow Dwight's stapler. Dwighf opens his desk, only to find the last few pages of this thread encased in Jello. Dwighf screams, his head explodes. Jim turns to the camera and shrugs.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:59
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Jim shines a laser pointer directly into Dwight's eye just a secon repeatedly over the course of a week, leading to a minor but permanent loss in vision for Dwight.
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Apr 19, 2021 15:04
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Jim buys Dwight a brand new red shirt for Dwight's upcoming away mission.
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Apr 19, 2021 23:20
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Applewhite posted:Jim buys Dwight a brand new red shirt for Dwight's upcoming away mission. What Jim doesn't realize is that this is a Holodeck episode, and now he'll have to try and outprank Moriarty while Dwight's mission has nothing significant occur.
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Apr 19, 2021 23:35
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This is a clever double-prank by Q, ensuring both that Jim's original prank fails and also Dwight's performance is so aggressively mediocre that he is never chosen for another mission ever again. In fact Dwight is "laterally promoted" to Master Jefferies Tubes Chief and he isn't allowed to leave the crawl spaces ever again.
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Apr 19, 2021 23:37
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Jim installs a high pressure oxygen needle in dwight's mouse. When Dwight clicks his mouse, a blast of oxygen degloves his right hand. He tries again with his left hand, summarily degloving that one too.
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Apr 20, 2021 00:16
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In his desire to conceive a masculine child with Angela, Dwight invents a cooling device for his crotch that is guaranteed to keep his scrotal temperature below 86 degrees F at all times. When he’s not looking, Jim installs a balloon and a speaker into the device. Using a remote, he can make it look like Dwight makes farts and inappropriate boners.
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Apr 20, 2021 00:34
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Jim tells Dwight that Michael is taking German immersion lessons and to only speak to Michael in German all day. Meanwhile he emails Michael a fake article about how technically the American government never lifted the bounty on Germans after WWII and that Michael can make big $$$ if he kills Dwight.
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Apr 20, 2021 02:19
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Jim builds a railroad leading up to the entrance of Dwight's farmhouse. When Dwight opens the door, he is hit by a train.
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Apr 20, 2021 02:30
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Jim initializes global thermonuclear phone with a few clever prank calls from Dwight's desk phone.
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Apr 20, 2021 04:09
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Jim hits Dwight with a truck resulting in Dwight being body-locked in a coma-like state. Through use of an innovative mind-computer interface, Jim appears to Dwight as Beetsu-Kami-Sama no Schrute, telling him he has been reborn into the world of Sukurenton. He will assume the role of the Hero of Legends, Deight, through his Superhuman mastery of the Martial Farming Arts and Magic. As his long and storied exploits come to a close a truck comes out of nowhere and kills Deight. Dwight awakens in the real world an emaciated shell. Jim appears to him and tells him he's been given a second chance...
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Apr 20, 2021 04:48
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Jim convinces Dwight that the entire Screnton branch are Bronies.
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Apr 20, 2021 04:49
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Jim starts eating jellybeans for lunch every day at work. He challenges Dwight to "eat more jelly beans than me" but Dwight refuses. After 3 months of this, Jim has put on a significant amount of weight and is constantly sweating. When Dwight asks if he's seen a doctor lately, Jim cryptically states "they don't make doctors for what ails me". The next day, Jim and Pam don't show up for work. Worried, Dwight stops by their house after work and is met with the sickeningly sweet odor of jellybeans as soon as he steps foot on the property. He knocks on the front door and Jim's voice tells him to come in. The entire house is covered in jelly beans and Dwight wades through waist-deep half-melted jellybeans to try and find Jim. He hears his voice come again from upstairs and walks up there, squashing thousands of beans underfoot. He opens the bedroom door and sees what at first looks like a statue of Jim made out of jellybeans. The detail is incredible. Root beer jellybeans for hair. Pink strawberry forms his "flesh". He even has pina colada jelly beans for each and every tooth. Then the jellybean Jim starts to talk and Dwight begins screaming. The thing lurches off the bed and begins to crawl through the beans all over the floor, heading towards Dwight's legs. Dwight blindly grabs for something and turns to see two jellybean children. Jim and Pam's kids. His hand lightly brushes Cecelia and she crumples to the ground, beans joining the mass on the floor. Jellybean Philip starts to cry and Dwight, distracted, feels jellybean Jim grab his leg tightly. Dwight swings wildly at jellybean Philip, causing him to explode into a hill of beans just like his sister. Jellybean Jim lets go of Dwight's leg just long enough for Dwight to run, screaming, down the stairs and towards the front door. Pam is standing there and, for just a moment, Dwight thinks she's still human. But as he gets closer he can smell the buttered popcorn jellybeans that make up her sundress. She turns away from him and Dwight races out the front door, slamming it behind him and running into his car. As he drives away he thinks he sees Pam, for just a moment, in the kitchen window. It looks as if a single blueberry jellybean is sliding down her cheek.
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Apr 20, 2021 18:48
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Jim shrinks Dwight down to the scale of a matchbox racer then subjects Dwight to his custom racecourse.
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Apr 21, 2021 19:59
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Jim is struck by lightning after being doused with chemicals and gains super speed. He becomes Scranton's superhero, The Flash. When Dwight correctly points out the strange coincidence Jim kills him by vibrating his hand at super-speed and sticking it in Dwight's chest.
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Apr 21, 2021 20:03
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Jim uses super-speed to vibrate his own prostate at hyper-sonic frequencies
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Apr 21, 2021 20:16
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Jim compresses his farts into Dwights sinus clearing spray
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Apr 21, 2021 21:13
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Jim prods Dwight into a leading political argument that ends with Dwight openly declaring his support for white nationalism in full view of the office, leading him to lose the respect of all of his coworkers*. *except Angela and possibly Andy
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Apr 21, 2021 21:43
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Jim eats a bowl of poop in the break room while trying to convince Dwight it's chocolate ice cream and he should try some. But Dwight isn't interested; Jim forgot he doesn't like sweets. Jim doesn't mind though, as he mugs for the camera he admits that he actually just wanted an excuse to eat poop.
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Apr 21, 2021 22:25
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Jim laces Dwight's lunch with tapeworm eggs. However, Dwight's gut has already has a very large tapeworm from years of eating beet farm dirt as a child.
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Apr 21, 2021 22:30
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Jim commissions hundreds of artists to meticulously convert Dwights hentai collection to western style cartoon porn.
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Apr 21, 2021 22:33
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Jim sets up a rotation system where everyone in the office is guilted into buying the coffee beans for the break room. Dwight buys high quality coffee, but after him Jim takes his turn and just gets the cheapest Folgers can there is
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Apr 22, 2021 01:18
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Jim does not say “God Bless You” when Dwight sneezes, leaving Dwight vulnerable to possession by evil spirits.
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Apr 22, 2021 22:21
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jim's tombstone features a photo of him mugging at the camera
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Apr 24, 2021 03:59
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Dwight is brutally murdered and despite investigating, the police find no leads and close the case. Jim, distraught vows to solve the case of who killed his friend and bring them to justice. Cut to Jim 2 weeks later, he glances briefly at the camera and continues sinking another full evening into civilization IV.
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Apr 24, 2021 10:40
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jim commissions a realdoll of dwight, brings it to the office, and keeps talking about "date night"
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Apr 24, 2021 11:27
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Jim slowly replaces every dunder mifflan employee with a crude wooden effigy over the course of the work day
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Apr 24, 2021 18:07
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim commissions a realdoll of dwight, brings it to the office, and keeps talking about "date night"
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Apr 25, 2021 16:15
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Jim stitches Dwight’s face to Dwight’s rear end to make a “one man human centipede.”
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Apr 26, 2021 02:43
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Applewhite posted:Jim stitches Dwight’s face to Dwight’s rear end to make a “one man human centipede.” "Joke's on him," Dwight says in a muffled tone in the interview room, speaking through his own rear end, "my all-beet diet actually makes this a rather pleasant experience. Now, I am not wasting any of the beet's precious nutrients."
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Apr 26, 2021 03:03
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Jim kills Mose, causing Dwight to go Super Saiyan for the first time.
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Apr 26, 2021 03:16
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Jim looks Dwight square in the eye as he shakes his hand with a firm grip, asserting a quiet and calm masculinity that subconsciously makes Dwight feel insecure.
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Apr 26, 2021 04:16
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Dwight notices Mose's behavior changing over the course of a few months, and things with Angela seem to be on the rocks as she grows more and distant from Dwight. The tension at Schrute farms grows and grows, so Dwight decides to wire the entire house and barn with hidden cameras. After returning from a week long sales trip he goes through the video from the barn and notices something strange when Angela comes in while Mose is putting away some equipment. Things very quickly get hot and heavy as Mose and Angela engage in a number of strange and exotic sex acts. Dwight watches in shocked silence as the video goes on for hours. After the two clean up and Angela leaves Mose looks right at the camera and waves. Dwight gets a large knife from his desk drawer and runs to confront Mose, grabbing him by the face and throwing him down to the ground. Dwight's hand feels wet after grabbing Mose and he looks down in horror to see Mose's torn face dangling from his hand by a few chunks of skin. He looks over at Mose and it's Jim wearing Mose's skin as a suit. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Apr 26, 2021 05:39
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Dwight looks up to see that his coworkers have all been replaced by dogs in small costumes. The break-room fridge is filled with kibble, and the vending machines are stocked with rawhide chews. Rationalizing to himself that the universe must have always been this way, Dwight begins his new life as a pug. A well-trained golden retriever turns to the camera and shrugs.
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Apr 26, 2021 10:57
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| # ? May 31, 2024 00:55 |
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while dwight is away from his desk, jim has unprotected penetrative sex with his coworker's computer
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Apr 26, 2021 11:20
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