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zoux posted:Here's one, what's the stupidest way a head-of-state or monarch has died in combat The traditional account of Pyrrhus' death is that he got brained by a roof-tile thrown at him by some enemy soldier's angry mother.
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Apr 20, 2021 19:07
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zoux posted:Here's one, what's the stupidest way a head-of-state or monarch has died in combat In 761 CE, Shi Siming was assassinated by his own commanders in order to place his son on the throne. Which Shi Siming should have seen coming, because he was cruel and arbitrary to his generals, and he'd seen an emperor assassinated for this behavior in 757 CE. Emperor Julian's death is also extremely funny for the fact that if he'd been less dedicated to his Alexander LARP there's like 20 different ways he could have avoided it.
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Apr 20, 2021 19:12
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zoux posted:Here's one, what's the stupidest way a head-of-state or monarch has died in combat Not during combat per se, but during Third Crusade the Holy Roman Emperor Frederick I drowned while crossing a river because he wouldn't take off his suit of armour (probably - there are other versions, but they are all stupid). Then Nazis named their invasion of Russia after his glory (and because they thought he was still living asleep inside a mountain).
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Apr 20, 2021 19:15
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Valtonen posted:I would propably look at some Roman emperors, all sorts of pretorian guard related shenanigans there. Also the one dude who got himself cut by a Syrian auxiliary archer whilst taking a piss at the roadside. Pretty much all rulers who start loving with their bodyguards die in stupid ways and have themselves to blame, from Philip II to Indira Gandhi. Pump it up! Do it! fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Apr 20, 2021 |
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Apr 20, 2021 19:23
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Valtonen posted:Also the one dude who got himself cut by a Syrian auxiliary archer whilst taking a piss at the roadside. That was Caracella, I think? Caracella being his nickname as apparently he favored Emperor Palpatine style cloaks and hoods. He once had the entire city of Alexandria killed? If memory serves he's also the dude who was co-emperor with his brother until he had his brother assassinated. In a hit he arranged by having their mother in the room, so dude died in their mother's arms? He then damnento memorie [Latin but certainly misspelled] his brother Egyptian style, scratching out his name where carved and defacing murals, statues, etc. What I'm saying is that in his cruelty it was almost inevitable that somebody was going to off him like that There was another Roman Emperor who was captured in battle against an eastern foe, the Parthians or the Sassanids. He was killed, stuffed, and made into a coat rack.
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Apr 20, 2021 19:28
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There was one king who was besieging a castle and saw a kid jumping around on top of the walls with a crossbow taking pot-shots at the besiegers. The king got too close to laugh at the kid's antics and got sniped by a kid. Supposedly he told his buddies to go easy on the kid, but they didn't.
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Apr 20, 2021 19:53
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zoux posted:Here's one, what's the stupidest way a head-of-state or monarch has died in combat Emperor Carus. Struck by lightning after being warned by an oracle that starting a war during a lightning storm was a bad omen.
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Apr 20, 2021 19:58
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What counts as a state? Plenty of tribal chiefs died in battle in 19th century New Zealand.
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Apr 20, 2021 20:39
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Nenonen posted:The AMOS mortar system has 2x 120mm barrels and yes, they can also be employed for direct fire. Probably not desirable in real life as the system's entire point is to be able to shoot on the move so you'll be long gone before counter-battery barrage arrives, but possible. Speaking of M113s, is there a backstory for why APCs like the M113, M59, M75, and so on don't have names?
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Apr 20, 2021 20:54
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Naming it "Gavin" will solve that problem.
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Apr 20, 2021 21:13
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sullat posted:There was one king who was besieging a castle and saw a kid jumping around on top of the walls with a crossbow taking pot-shots at the besiegers. The king got too close to laugh at the kid's antics and got sniped by a kid. Supposedly he told his buddies to go easy on the kid, but they didn't. That was Richard the Lionheart.
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Apr 20, 2021 22:08
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HannibalBarca posted:The traditional account of Pyrrhus' death is that he got brained by a roof-tile thrown at him by some enemy soldier's angry mother. Clay roof tiles can easily weigh a pound apiece, and if you're up on the roof where a ready supply of ammo is, you have gravity on your side. Death by stoning with roof tiles wasn't a particularly unheard-of way to go in Roman times, if I recall correctly.
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Apr 20, 2021 22:43
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i know Napoleon III didn't bite it but boy he must have sure had some egg on his face at Sedan oh, at Varna in 1444 the Hungarian army under Wladyslaw III and John Hunyadi stumbled into a much larger Ottoman force under sultan Murad. Their accompanying prelate suggested forming a wagon fort on a nearby hill to await withdrawal by sea, but was overruled by the young king, who was dehorsed and decapitated in the ensuing suicidal drive on the Turkish center Fuligin fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Apr 20, 2021 |
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Apr 20, 2021 23:20
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Napoleon III was really probably wishing he had died in the battle. Though if you wanna talk about Emperor's/Kings who got absolutely humiliated, I think my favorite would be Valerian so utterly screwing the pooch that he was the first Roman Emperor captured. Every other Roman Emperor/adventurous consul who had went off to die a horrible death to Parthians at least had the decency to die first before getting their corpses paraded around.
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Apr 20, 2021 23:28
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zoux posted:Here's one, what's the stupidest way a head-of-state or monarch has died in combat Henry II of France died in a jousting accident during a festival celebrating a peace treaty.
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Apr 21, 2021 00:27
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:Henry II of France died in a jousting accident during a festival celebrating a peace treaty. I swear I remember that being mentioned in some sort of Nostradamus special that someone in my household taped back in the 80s.
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Apr 21, 2021 00:37
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zoux posted:Here's one, what's the stupidest way a head-of-state or monarch has died in combat Fighting the weather because you wrote out your inauguration speech and you really wanna get it all out. Really worth the effort there Harrison.
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Apr 21, 2021 01:20
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Emus are a valid type of military combatant, so if an Emu finally gets Bolsanaro that qualifies as death by combat.
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Apr 21, 2021 01:24
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:Henry II of France died in a jousting accident during a festival celebrating a peace treaty.
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Apr 21, 2021 04:05
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fish and chips and dip posted:President of Chad Idriss Déby was killed when leading troops in battle against rebels in northern Chad. Was thinking on this, and Francisco Solano López, President of Paraguay died in battle in 1870, killed by Brazilian soldiers.
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Apr 21, 2021 04:13
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I remember in late 2001 hearing about a Taliban offer to set up a duel to the death between Bush and Blair and Omar with AK-47's in a mountain pass or something. No idea if there's any degree of truth to that, or if it's on a similar level to bin Laden's secret underground supervillain lair.
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Apr 21, 2021 04:39
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The 6'6" rich kid was a huge loving fan of tunnels, that's why we got him in Tora Bora. E: Yeah I wrote that, sorry. goatsestretchgoals fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Apr 21, 2021 |
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Apr 21, 2021 04:43
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EggsAisle posted:I remember in late 2001 hearing about a Taliban offer to set up a duel to the death between Bush and Blair and Omar with AK-47's in a mountain pass or something. No idea if there's any degree of truth to that, or if it's on a similar level to bin Laden's secret underground supervillain lair. As a kid, I wished world leaders would just murder each other at the UN instead of going to war. As an adult, I still think it would be a better system than the one we have.
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Apr 21, 2021 11:34
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I don't.
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Apr 21, 2021 11:51
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"Okay kids, the US will be run by Spec-ops Colonel Murderhands Killski now that he beat Joe Biden in a duel, the East Coast will shortly be cleansed by radioactive fire. Sorry but those are the rules."
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Apr 21, 2021 11:59
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Chamale posted:As a kid, I wished world leaders would just murder each other at the UN instead of going to war. As an adult, I still think it would be a better system than the one we have. https://youtu.be/pO1HC8pHZw0
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Apr 21, 2021 12:48
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We could always do the Robot Jox thing
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Apr 21, 2021 13:16
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feedmegin posted:We could always do the Robot Jox thing what else are armies
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Apr 21, 2021 13:17
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Fangz posted:"Okay kids, the US will be run by Spec-ops Colonel Murderhands Killski now that he beat Joe Biden in a duel, the East Coast will shortly be cleansed by radioactive fire. Sorry but those are the rules." The traditional solution is just swearing him in temporarily because the prez is totally indisposed. There's a discussion in the ancient history thread about making a fall guy the temporary king in situations where the king was expected to deliver rainfall / other kinds of divine favor.
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Apr 21, 2021 13:25
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zoux posted:Here's one, what's the stupidest way a head-of-state or monarch has died in combat Sweyn III of Denmark was murdered by peasants when his horse was sucked into a bog, which sounds stupid to you but is just tuesday in Denmark.
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Apr 21, 2021 13:28
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Fangz posted:"Okay kids, the US will be run by Spec-ops Colonel Murderhands Killski now that he beat Joe Biden in a duel, the East Coast will shortly be cleansed by radioactive fire. Sorry but those are the rules." Listen, fat
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Apr 21, 2021 14:18
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GW put on the flight suit and trotted the banner out as if he were personally responsible for bombing Saddam so that's probably what 70% of the USA misremembers as the real history.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:06
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Fangz posted:"Okay kids, the US will be run by Spec-ops Colonel Murderhands Killski now that he beat Joe Biden in a duel, the East Coast will shortly be cleansed by radioactive fire. Sorry but those are the rules." Pretty sure this is exactly how Dan Crenshaw thinks the government should work.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:41
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Man, the Shriners have been escalating: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjOBHZd6TW4&t=21s
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Apr 21, 2021 21:20
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Konstantinos XI the last emperor of the Byzantines died fighting without his royal regalia after he threw them off when Constantinople was falling. He died in a pretty cool way compared to some of these bums. Then there is Gustavus Adolphus who died after he got lost and separated behind enemy lines during the 30 years war.
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Apr 21, 2021 21:39
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Tiger Crazy posted:Konstantinos XI the last emperor of the Byzantines died fighting without his royal regalia after he threw them off when Constantinople was falling. I had a bit of a double take when I remembered that I think this had happened to at least two different Swedish Kings in different European wars.
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Apr 21, 2021 21:42
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The president of Chad was killed by rebel forces while visiting the front lines like a few days ago.
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Apr 22, 2021 12:35
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Abongination posted:The president of Chad was killed by rebel forces while visiting the front lines like a few days ago. are you like completely and utterly unaware of how this discussion started or what
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Apr 22, 2021 12:50
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The virgin Chad president and the chad Chad rebels.
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Apr 22, 2021 13:22
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Abongination posted:The president of Chad was killed by rebel forces while visiting the front lines like a few days ago. This makes me think - when was the last time a head of state was killed in combat?
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Apr 22, 2021 15:55
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