Bicycle Megathread 5: i warned you about bikes bro!!!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > The Great Outdoors > Bicycle Megathread 5: i warned you about bikes bro!!!

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Hekk: Oct 12, 2012; 'smeper fi

My cycling bibs make my potbelly less noticeable and accentuate my best ASSet.

*Insert Ned Flanders Ski Suit GIF here*

# ? Apr 22, 2021 18:47

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 02:19

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

i get a sensible chuckle out of the super commuters in 3 layers of safety yellow rain proof showerpass and eye blinding 3000 lumen lights in broad daylight on their full pannier full fender 60 lbs bikes while i commute in a shirt and tie and dress shoes on my cervelo

but whatever those slowpokes ride every day probably more frequently if less distance than i do, and some of them crush pretty good distance on their commutes

the people i really dont like are the unrestricted/throttle e-bikes and scooters riders (whatever happened to segways?)

they can get hosed

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Apr 22, 2021

# ? Apr 22, 2021 18:55

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

evil_bunnY posted:

Some SERIOUS CYCLISTS will judge every last goddamn thing and it's tiring as hell.

There's a guy here that does the Dirty Dozen hill race in a jersey that says "Friends don't let friends ride trash," doesn't really help with the perception of cyclists.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 18:58

vikingstrike: Sep 23, 2007; whats happening, captain

More hot takes by vikingstrike on the topic:

I'd guess that lovely people are lovely regardless of whether they are on a bike and that bikes just give them an opportunity to be lovely in a way that you get to observe because you are also on a bike and/or exposed to the culture around bikes. rear end in a top hat roadies who give you poo poo about "The Rules" are probably terrible coworkers, too.

Anyone who makes another person feel like crap because of "The Rules" is a lovely person.
Anyone who makes another person feel like crap because their reason for being on a bike "isn't good enough" is a lovely person.
Anyone who can't calm the gently caress down and use public infrastructure in an appropriate way and as a result makes other people using said infrastructure uncomfortable is a lovely person. If you want people in cars to "wait 7 seconds to not run you over" maybe take your own advice and wait 7 seconds until it's safe to pass a family on a MUP. No one cares above your Strava avg speed.
Anyone who thinks that other people are doing it wrong or look wrong or whatever, ignoring the fact that the most important thing is that they are on a bike, is a lovely person.
Anyone who thinks you are on the "wrong bike" because you aren't fit enough, have too much or too little money, or hasn't "earned" it from a skills and/or experience perspective is a lovely person. Any bike that does what you need it to do, you can afford, and you like is the best loving bike in the world. Any moment someone is on a bike is a moment they aren't in a car polluting the planet and trying to murder someone on a bike because of their dumb phone.
Anyone who gets upset that people are using e-bikes to explore roads and/or trails in ways that are untraditional is a lovely person.

If we want to make cycling more inclusive for all people, we need to recognize people use bikes for different things and that is OK. Meet people where they are, recognize experiences are different for different people, but generally everyone on bikes benefit from the same things. Bikes can be used by some people as a form of privilege and recreation, bikes for others are a literal necessity to live, bikes for some are a mix of the two. At the end of the day, we're all people who ride bikes: cars will always try to murder us for being in the road and the government doesn't care if you are in jeans or spandex, infrastructure for riding bikes is pretty terrible in many places across the globe, especially North America, more people on bikes is less pollution for the planet and healthier people, everybody's body is a cyclist body and any body can ride any bike. Although, maybe heed manufacturer recs and don't push it on those lightweight carbon wheels.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:08

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

I don�t think I�ve ever seen anyone take the rules seriously, does it actually happen?

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:09

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Literally Lewis Hamilton posted:

I don�t think I�ve ever seen anyone take the rules seriously, does it actually happen?

i think following the rules is fun if you are into LARPing as a pro-tour racer.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:13

Sab0921: Aug 2, 2004; This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.

Imagine not wearing a bib for general every day, non-cycling activities.

Head to toe Rapha baby for the kiddo's little league practice.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:16

gohuskies: Oct 23, 2010; I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

quote:

Rule 11: Family does not come first. The bike does.
Sean Kelly, being interviewed after the �84 Amstel Gold Race, spots his wife leaning against his Citro�n AX. He interrupts the interview to tell her to get off the paintwork, to which she shrugs, �In your life the car comes first, then the bike, then me.� Instinctively, he snaps back, �You got the order wrong. The bike comes first.�

I think the overwhelming majority of people recognize that this is a tongue in cheek joke about the ridiculousness of European pro cycling culture and is not a serious suggestion about how people should actually behave. I have never heard somebody say that the velominati thing are actually supposed to be real rules.

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Apr 22, 2021

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:18

Sab0921: Aug 2, 2004; This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.

vikingstrike posted:

More hot takes by vikingstrike on the topic:

I'd guess that lovely people are lovely regardless of whether they are on a bike and that bikes just give them an opportunity to be lovely in a way that you get to observe because you are also on a bike and/or exposed to the culture around bikes. rear end in a top hat roadies who give you poo poo about "The Rules" are probably terrible coworkers, too.

Anyone who makes another person feel like crap because of "The Rules" is a lovely person.
Anyone who makes another person feel like crap because their reason for being on a bike "isn't good enough" is a lovely person.
Anyone who can't calm the gently caress down and use public infrastructure in an appropriate way and as a result makes other people using said infrastructure uncomfortable is a lovely person. If you want people in cars to "wait 7 seconds to not run you over" maybe take your own advice and wait 7 seconds until it's safe to pass a family on a MUP. No one cares above your Strava avg speed.
Anyone who thinks that other people are doing it wrong or look wrong or whatever, ignoring the fact that the most important thing is that they are on a bike, is a lovely person.
Anyone who thinks you are on the "wrong bike" because you aren't fit enough, have too much or too little money, or hasn't "earned" it from a skills and/or experience perspective is a lovely person. Any bike that does what you need it to do, you can afford, and you like is the best loving bike in the world. Any moment someone is on a bike is a moment they aren't in a car polluting the planet and trying to murder someone on a bike because of their dumb phone.
Anyone who gets upset that people are using e-bikes to explore roads and/or trails in ways that are untraditional is a lovely person.

If we want to make cycling more inclusive for all people, we need to recognize people use bikes for different things and that is OK. Meet people where they are, recognize experiences are different for different people, but generally everyone on bikes benefit from the same things. Bikes can be used by some people as a form of privilege and recreation, bikes for others are a literal necessity to live, bikes for some are a mix of the two. At the end of the day, we're all people who ride bikes: cars will always try to murder us for being in the road and the government doesn't care if you are in jeans or spandex, infrastructure for riding bikes is pretty terrible in many places across the globe, especially North America, more people on bikes is less pollution for the planet and healthier people, everybody's body is a cyclist body and any body can ride any bike. Although, maybe heed manufacturer recs and don't push it on those lightweight carbon wheels.

Sure - all of this is true, but I also think it isn't extremely reflective of the thread in general. Sometimes people poke fun, but the general consensus here is "any way you ride a bike is a good way to ride a bike", and I haven't seen anything to the contrary that isn't done in a satirical manner.

But also - time trialists on the MUPs should probably calm down.

Sab0921 fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Apr 22, 2021

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:19

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Everyone be cool to each other.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:30

vikingstrike: Sep 23, 2007; whats happening, captain

Sab0921 posted:

Sure - all of this is true, but I also think it is extremely reflective of the thread in general. Sometimes people poke fun, but the general consensus here is "any way you ride a bike is a good way to ride a bike", and I haven't seen anything to the contrary that isn't done in a satirical manner.

But also - time trialists on the MUPs should probably calm down.

You may find that the dead comedy forums known as Something Awful aren't very reflective at times of the real world we ride bikes in.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 19:39

Sab0921: Aug 2, 2004; This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.

vikingstrike posted:

You may find that the dead comedy forums known as Something Awful aren't very reflective at times of the real world we ride bikes in.

I thought we all just rode trainers staring at trainerroad graphs while posting.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:02

Development: Jun 2, 2016

Sab0921 posted:

I thought we all just rode trainers staring at trainerroad graphs while posting.

cool thanks for making GBS threads up the thread

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:22

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Lot of hostility itt

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:29

bicievino: Feb 5, 2015

vikingstrike posted:

More hot takes by vikingstrike on the topic:

I'd guess that lovely people are lovely regardless of whether they are on a bike and that bikes just give them an opportunity to be lovely in a way that you get to observe because you are also on a bike and/or exposed to the culture around bikes. rear end in a top hat roadies who give you poo poo about "The Rules" are probably terrible coworkers, too.

Anyone who makes another person feel like crap because of "The Rules" is a lovely person.
Anyone who makes another person feel like crap because their reason for being on a bike "isn't good enough" is a lovely person.
Anyone who can't calm the gently caress down and use public infrastructure in an appropriate way and as a result makes other people using said infrastructure uncomfortable is a lovely person. If you want people in cars to "wait 7 seconds to not run you over" maybe take your own advice and wait 7 seconds until it's safe to pass a family on a MUP. No one cares above your Strava avg speed.
Anyone who thinks that other people are doing it wrong or look wrong or whatever, ignoring the fact that the most important thing is that they are on a bike, is a lovely person.
Anyone who thinks you are on the "wrong bike" because you aren't fit enough, have too much or too little money, or hasn't "earned" it from a skills and/or experience perspective is a lovely person. Any bike that does what you need it to do, you can afford, and you like is the best loving bike in the world. Any moment someone is on a bike is a moment they aren't in a car polluting the planet and trying to murder someone on a bike because of their dumb phone.
Anyone who gets upset that people are using e-bikes to explore roads and/or trails in ways that are untraditional is a lovely person.

If we want to make cycling more inclusive for all people, we need to recognize people use bikes for different things and that is OK. Meet people where they are, recognize experiences are different for different people, but generally everyone on bikes benefit from the same things. Bikes can be used by some people as a form of privilege and recreation, bikes for others are a literal necessity to live, bikes for some are a mix of the two. At the end of the day, we're all people who ride bikes: cars will always try to murder us for being in the road and the government doesn't care if you are in jeans or spandex, infrastructure for riding bikes is pretty terrible in many places across the globe, especially North America, more people on bikes is less pollution for the planet and healthier people, everybody's body is a cyclist body and any body can ride any bike. Although, maybe heed manufacturer recs and don't push it on those lightweight carbon wheels.

I do get upset about cops on bikes using them as weapons tho.
guess that falls under the heading of lovely people on bikes.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:35

vikingstrike: Sep 23, 2007; whats happening, captain

bicievino posted:

I do get upset about cops on bikes using them as weapons tho.
guess that falls under the heading of lovely people on bikes.

Very much same.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:42

Sab0921: Aug 2, 2004; This for my justices slingin' thangs, rib breakin' kings / Truck, necklace, robe, gavel and things / For the solicitors seein' them dissents spin and grin / That robe with the lace trim that win.

Development posted:

cool thanks for making GBS threads up the thread

Uh - I'm pretty sure I just posted that everyone in the thread is cool and nice and non-judgmental? Like no one here takes "the rules" seriously and everyone seems to carry the attitude that the right way to ride a bike is the way that gets you to ride a bike.

Edit: I'll just clarify - if I came off as hostile, I didn't mean to - this is a good place to post and read about bicycles because it's welcoming - that's all I was getting at.

Sab0921 fucked around with this message at 20:45 on Apr 22, 2021

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:42

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Sab0921 posted:

I thought we all just rode trainers staring at trainerroad graphs while posting.

I stare at my thighs while posting.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:44

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Are they thick, solid, and tight?

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:46

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Literally Lewis Hamilton posted:

Are they thick, solid, and tight?

At the moment they're bruised, damaged and broken.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:47

bicievino: Feb 5, 2015

Sab0921 posted:

Uh - I'm pretty sure I just posted that everyone in the thread is cool and nice and non-judgmental? Like no one here takes "the rules" seriously and everyone seems to carry the attitude that the right way to ride a bike is the way that gets you to ride a bike.

Edit: I'll just clarify - if I came off as hostile, I didn't mean to - this is a good place to post and read about bicycles because it's welcoming - that's all I was getting at.

Text is hard to interpret sometimes. :shrug:

# ? Apr 22, 2021 20:54

Dren: Jan 5, 2001; Pillbug

all these posts and the frame hasn't even been drilled

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:03

vikingstrike: Sep 23, 2007; whats happening, captain

Dren posted:

all these posts and the frame hasn't even been drilled

I would 100% watch a live stream of the drilling.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:12

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

vikingstrike posted:

I would 100% watch a live stream of the drilling.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:16

a patagonian cavy: Jan 12, 2009; UUA CVG 230000 KZID /RM TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE BENGALS DYNASTY

vikingstrike posted:

I would 100% watch a live stream of the drilling.

There are many web sites devoted to this specific thing

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:24

MrL_JaKiri: Sep 23, 2003; A bracing glass of carrot juice!

gohuskies posted:

I have never heard somebody say that the velominati thing are actually supposed to be real rules.

I have heard many people justify random bullshit they're doing by reference to the rules.

The bad rules, not the good rules:

https://philthethrill.net/the-new-rules-of-cycling-aka-philuminati/

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:29

Guinness: Sep 15, 2004

Phil Gaimon is a treasure and 100% right on all counts

If you haven't seen this video it's also on point
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDMdcC63Z0s

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:40

Loving Africa Chaps: Dec 3, 2007; We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

If I buy carbon handlebars how quickly will I get doored?

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:41

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Post the frame and your SDS drill.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:46

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

alnilam posted:

I've never used actual biking clothes (except certain rain and winter things i guess). I sometimes wonder what I'm missing.

If you're wearing non stretch pants, the last maybe 20deg of pulling your leg to your chest take more effort. Maybe not so much that it bothers you, but it becomes noticeably easier in lycra. Even sweats are a bit different, in that they can still bunch up a bit. Overall, the pedaling is just a lot cleaner feeling.

Literally Lewis Hamilton posted:

I don�t think I�ve ever seen anyone take the rules seriously, does it actually happen?

gohuskies posted:

I have never heard somebody say that the velominati thing are actually supposed to be real rules.

A lot of budding cycling enthusiasts get caught up in riding really hard and having cool looking equipment.
It takes a few evolutions for them to mellow out, and some don't.

kimbo305 fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Apr 22, 2021

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:49

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

numberoneposter posted:

the people i really dont like are the unrestricted/throttle e-bikes and scooters riders (whatever happened to segways?)

Those aren't bikes so gently caress'em.

serious gaylord posted:

Post the frame and your SDS drill.

lmbo

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:54

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Setter is Better.

regarding drop bars/flat bars, this is my favorite bike that I used in the winter

it's a 1974 Raleigh Super Tourer that was sold this way, and nobody bought it because unlike now, absolutely nobody wanted a flat bar bike with a lightweight frame and high gears back then.

the high gear on this is 53/14. cranking that in an upright, city bike posture is absolutely hilarious. it's like the bike equivilent of one of those souped up pickup trucks or something.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 21:57

Head Bee Guy: Jun 12, 2011; Retarded for Busting; Grimey Drawer

crashed my bike twice today. my puny bunny hop didn�t clear a curb and I went over the handlebars. Huge gash in the front GP5000, but luckily no injuries, even though I landed on my hands.

An hour later I got my newly installed tire lodged in a crack between two sidewalk panels that was exactly 32c wide, and I again went over the bars, but i was able to run out the momentum (into a tree)

BIKES!

# ? Apr 22, 2021 22:22

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

Yesterday I found out that some moron had taken a heavy tractor down a restricted bridal path, and also that 25kg front wheel drive ebikes laden down with shopping can�t get a purchase on dry churned up gravel and just wheel spin while you scream.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 22:42

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

What tire size? Shouldn't be an issue pedaling slowly to the more weighted rear tire.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 22:52

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

Super steep hill, stock 700 38 hybrid tyres, had to stop because suddenly massive pot holes and just couldn�t get started again. I was mildly inconvenienced for 10 minutes and am really annoyed because the council side with the farmer when he blocks the other road entrance to the bike path and send you a �there is a alternative entrance on the bridle path fneh fneh fneh� email when you complain, and now he�s done this.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 23:33

Dren: Jan 5, 2001; Pillbug

dear bike thread, what hitch mount do I want? I have a minivan. I would like one that can tuck out of the way to let the lift gate open. I don't have carbon bikes so the ones that attach via the wheel are not a necessity. I'd like it to be possible to get at least 2 bikes on there.

# ? Apr 22, 2021 23:44

Shadowhand00: Jan 23, 2006; Golden Bear is ever watching; day by day he prowls, and when he hears the tread of lowly Stanfurd red,from his Lair he fiercely growls.; Toilet Rascal

Head Bee Guy posted:

who makes cool cycling caps? Looking for anything that�s not cotton, preferably in black.

Ah too bad you don't want cotton. I like these caps:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/enishi-kyoto/albums/72157622669344973/

Also, when people stare at me when I'm cycling, I like to feel like they're just admiring my butt.

Shadowhand00 fucked around with this message at 00:15 on Apr 23, 2021

# ? Apr 23, 2021 00:12

vikingstrike: Sep 23, 2007; whats happening, captain

Dren posted:

dear bike thread, what hitch mount do I want? I have a minivan. I would like one that can tuck out of the way to let the lift gate open. I don't have carbon bikes so the ones that attach via the wheel are not a necessity. I'd like it to be possible to get at least 2 bikes on there.

I know my Thule can lean down at an angle to let me open the rear hatch, I assume it would work with a minivan too. Unsure if Kuats, Rocky Mounts, or 1Ups do this (wouldn�t surprise me if they did). Those 4 brands are likely your best bets too.

# ? Apr 23, 2021 00:18

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 02:19

Levitate: Sep 30, 2005; randy newman voice

YOU'VE GOT A LAFRENI�RE IN ME

1Up let's you move the rack and bike out of the way so you can open the back of the car

# ? Apr 23, 2021 00:32

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > The Great Outdoors > Bicycle Megathread 5: i warned you about bikes bro!!!

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