Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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Cheech Marinade: Apr 17, 2002

"A Rando Bakery"

Checks out!

# ? Apr 29, 2021 16:19

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# ? May 27, 2024 16:57

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Fragrag posted:

meltdowns over unmelted cheese itt

Ropes of Provel

# ? Apr 29, 2021 17:19

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; Nap Ghost

AHH F/UGH posted:

I SWEAR you bought the original ghost-less version of this avatar because I mentioned it in some avatar thread, anyhoo

Yeah man it's all good to just phone in to poo poo and get paid, that's what I do all day. Just gotta avoid the booze store, ya know? Like just don't drive there, don't buy anything. Easier said that done but yeah. I just started going back to the gym after like 6 months of eating pizza every single day and I'm already back in top form. You can do it to man, I believe in you and you are not forgotten!! Every time I see you post I wish you the best!!

Hell yeah to these positive vibes

# ? Apr 29, 2021 18:04

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Cartoon Man posted:

# ? Apr 29, 2021 18:21

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

AHH F/UGH posted:

I SWEAR you bought the original ghost-less version of this avatar because I mentioned it in some avatar thread, anyhoo

Yeah man it's all good to just phone in to poo poo and get paid, that's what I do all day. Just gotta avoid the booze store, ya know? Like just don't drive there, don't buy anything. Easier said that done but yeah. I just started going back to the gym after like 6 months of eating pizza every single day and I'm already back in top form. You can do it to man, I believe in you and you are not forgotten!! Every time I see you post I wish you the best!!

I'm going to start exercising again soon. I just checked out a local gym that I might join. Although I have a decent setup in my basement so I could save money doing that. But the gym is only $25 a month which is pretty great. We'll see what happens.

I haven't had pizza in a while. When I last had a bender I got two delivery pizzas in a week which is extreme for me. Usually I have one a month at most.

ekuNNN posted:

https://i.imgur.com/WiYf8iV.mp4

I wonder if they still sent that one out.

# ? Apr 29, 2021 18:28

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

# ? Apr 29, 2021 21:42

Fantastic Foreskin: Jan 6, 2013; A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

At that point it's just garlic bread. Very, very sad garlic bread. Probably without any garlic either.

# ? Apr 29, 2021 21:45

TontoCorazon: Aug 18, 2007

PokeJoe posted:

This is the pizza thread, not the crime against humanity thread.

# ? Apr 29, 2021 21:49

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

when I first saw that pic I thought it was cinnamon rolls with cheese on top

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:02

Sir John Falstaff: Apr 13, 2010

PokeJoe posted:

Apparently this is something called "Altoona-style" pizza:

https://uproxx.com/life/altoona-style-pizza-recipe/

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:15

Poil: Mar 17, 2007

Martman posted:

I choose to imagine when the pizza gets delivered to you, you open the box and it is somehow still on fire.

That's not the intention?

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:25

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

You know the pizza is fresh when it's still covered in scabs.

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:27

AHH F/UGH: May 25, 2002

Real talk, I'd give Cheeze Wiz pizza a shot

At least it wouldn't slide off in one sheet like that skin-pizza from Altoona or wherever the gently caress

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:38

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

Sir John Falstaff posted:

Apparently this is something called "Altoona-style" pizza:

https://uproxx.com/life/altoona-style-pizza-recipe/

Altoona: So What, it's All we Got

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:41

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

idea: "build your own pizza restaurant" where you get to run the pizza under nacho cheese, chili, ranch, etc nozzles after it's done for a flavor explosion that can't be beat

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:45

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Aardvark! posted:

idea: "build your own pizza restaurant" where you get to run the pizza under nacho cheese, chili, ranch, etc nozzles after it's done for a flavor explosion that can't be beat

Oooooo can there be a hollandaise nozzle? :kiddo:

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:46

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Oooooo can there be a hollandaise nozzle?

absolutely.

also, you've heard of Coke FreeStyle? Welcome to Hidden Valley Ranch FreeStyle™️

# ? Apr 29, 2021 22:48

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Sir John Falstaff posted:

Apparently this is something called "Altoona-style" pizza:

https://uproxx.com/life/altoona-style-pizza-recipe/

i have seen some heinous "regional" pizza in here before but this is breathtaking.

# ? Apr 29, 2021 23:18

OMFG FURRY: Jul 10, 2006; [snarky comment]

when has adding american cheese improved anything i mean really

# ? Apr 29, 2021 23:40

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I thought it was normal to punch fire :confused:

# ? Apr 29, 2021 23:46

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

# ? Apr 29, 2021 23:54

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Extra crunchy

# ? Apr 29, 2021 23:58

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

lmao where the gently caress do you find these

# ? Apr 30, 2021 00:01

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

i literally type "pizza" in to google maps and then pick a random country and start browsing. that was somewhere in rural portugal, like the second place i looked at

# ? Apr 30, 2021 00:03

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Aardvark! posted:

i don't even know what i'd do if they plopped that thing down on the table in front of me.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 00:05

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

shadow puppet of a posted:

Congrats on throwing a bacteria equivalent of spring break

The bacteria equivalent of spring break is spring break.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 00:12

AHH F/UGH: May 25, 2002

Aardvark! posted:

Tagline: "The pizza that cracks your tooth!"

OMFG FURRY posted:

when has adding american cheese improved anything i mean really

American Cheese is by far the best cheeseburger cheese, no question.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 00:22

JonathonSpectre: Jul 23, 2003; I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck; Soiled Meat

OMFG FURRY posted:

when has adding american cheese improved anything i mean really

American is the one true cheese for a cheeseburg.

edit: ^^^ :getin:

Cheeseburger Crew up in this pizza thread rn

JonathonSpectre fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Apr 30, 2021

# ? Apr 30, 2021 00:42

reignonyourparade: Nov 15, 2012

Tossing a bit of american cheese in with whatever cheese you're using for the actual flavor for mac and cheese also helps you get a great gooey sauce because of all the emulsifiers in american cheese.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 01:24

Armitag3: Mar 15, 2020; Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

Aardvark! posted:

Did someone type pizza into an AI image generator?

# ? Apr 30, 2021 01:28

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Aardvark! posted:

idea: "build your own pizza restaurant" where you get to run the pizza under nacho cheese, chili, ranch, etc nozzles after it's done for a flavor explosion that can't be beat

Nacho Wonderfall

Aardvark! posted:

lm,ao

# ? Apr 30, 2021 02:24

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

AHH F/UGH posted:

American Cheese is by far the best cheeseburger cheese, no question.

I like burgers with real cheese more.

Grilled cheeses are great with Velveeta and American cheese. That stuff was designed to melt.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 02:31

Mr. Sunshine: May 15, 2008; This is a scrunt that has been in space too long and become a Lunt (Long Scrunt); Fun Shoe

JonathonSpectre posted:

Trapped in a lie that something awful is something good, and unable to back down from it because you started the loving thing in the first place.

The Curse of Lowtax.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 10:55

Quantum of Phallus: Dec 27, 2010

Armitag3 posted:

Did someone type pizza into an AI image generator?

I was just about to post that this and the one with the yellow sliced cheese look like AI images

# ? Apr 30, 2021 12:53

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

# ? Apr 30, 2021 16:43

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Would eat the hell out of that.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 17:19

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

titty_baby_ posted:

Taco on the streets, pizza in the sheets.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 18:18

Justin Credible: Aug 27, 2003; happy cat

Round table sucks rear end. Expensive, promote pizzas laden with toppings then they skimp on them really hard.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 18:29

Fantastic Foreskin: Jan 6, 2013; A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

I'm sure it's a thoroughly mediocre pizza, but there's nothing wrong with the concept.

# ? Apr 30, 2021 19:00

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# ? May 27, 2024 16:57

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

stolen from pyf

https://twitter.com/AmbJohnBoIton/status/1387925306997149699?s=20

# ? Apr 30, 2021 19:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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