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Jim breaks into Dwight's house at 3am Monday morning. He urinates on Dwight's bed, replaces Dwight's toothpaste with preparation H, accidently knocks Dwight's toothbrush into the shitter, pours a capfull of bleach into Dwight's milk, and replaces the buckshot in Dwight's gun with rainbow confetti
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May 5, 2021 23:29
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| # ? May 29, 2024 06:27 |
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jim mugs dwight's grandma
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May 5, 2021 23:37
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Dwight is seeded with an alien spore that grows long plant tendrils, endlessly growing and encasing him in a living tomb.
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May 5, 2021 23:41
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Jim puts a rake next to Dwight’s desk. When Dwight steps away to use the bathroom, it springs up and smacks him in the nose.
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May 5, 2021 23:42
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Jim balances Dwight’s desk and phone over a huge dunk tank with hungry great white sharks swimming below. When a big client calls, Dwight is forced to climb up and answer from a precarious position above the sharks. Jim starts selling baseballs at five dollars per throw.
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May 5, 2021 23:43
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim mugs dwight's grandma hehe
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May 6, 2021 00:38
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Jim offers Dwight some Neapolitan ice cream, but only serves Dwight bland vanilla and chocolate and keeps all of the delicious strawberry for himself.
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May 6, 2021 01:05
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Jim convinces Dwight that Mose has rabies and must be put down.
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May 6, 2021 01:06
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim mugs dwight's grandma 
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May 6, 2021 01:07
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Dwight gets in a serious accident and lies comatose in the hospital. Jim masturbates over Dwight's unconscious body. He looks down at his semen-covered palm in disgust. "I'm so hosed up," he whimpers to himself.
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May 6, 2021 03:56
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In this episode of The Office, Jim “accidentally” leaves Prank_Ideas.txt open on his desktop - listing thousands of Forbidden Pranks involving piss sex, dog incest, etc. While Dwight is busy rolling his eyes at this edgy nonsense, Jim douses all Dwight’s belongings with ant pheromones.
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May 6, 2021 04:02
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Jim gets Dwight addicted to drugs. In an ill-fated road-trip, Jim ends up having his arm amputated and Dwight ends up in a prison chain-gang
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May 6, 2021 04:19
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Jim enlists Dwight to be his assistant in the Dunder Mifflin magic show. For the grand finale he instructs the audience that Dwight's screams are all part of the show and that the blood is fake blood, then proceeds to saw Dwight in half.
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May 6, 2021 15:16
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Thee Police finally catch up with Jim and he mugs for his mugshot.
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May 6, 2021 15:18
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Jim is suddenly very friendly to Dwight, bringing cakes and snacks every day. Dwight is suspicious at first, but the cakes are not drugged or tainted or otherwise tampered with. Eventually he accepts Jim's gestures and allows himself to indulge. Over time, Dwight's weight increases significantly until he is morbidly obese. Jim reveals to confession cam that he's secretly been documenting Dwight's weight gain and selling photos and videos of Dwight to a feeder fetish website. He mugs the camera as he fans himself with a stack of hundred dollar bills.
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May 6, 2021 15:22
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As Dwight nears retirement, he notices that he hasn't aged in 20 years. He goes to his doctor, concerned, and they note that he's extremely healthy for a man nearing 65 years old. They insist there's nothing to worry about, there's no danger in being too healthy and looking young as you near your senior years. 300 years later, Dwight has not aged a day. 700 more years bring an occasional grey hair but nothing more. 1000 years later beyond that and Dwight feels an occasional twinge of arthritis, easily treated by the Super-Medicine of the Future. In the year 5,000 Dwight has comfortable settled into his life as a semi-retired history professor, using his own vast experience to serve as a valued consultant to researchers around the world. He is revered as "Old Man Dwight", a mystery of science that the entire world seeks out for knowledge and friendship. Dwight is truly happy. Another 10,000 years pass and Dwight has joined the governing body of the League of Galaxies, ensuring peace and harmony across the universe. Dwight is the most highly respected member of all, having lived longer than any other being in the known universe. The technology of a million advanced species keep him alive and healthy, although he will notice a new wrinkle every few decades or so. By the year 6,350,000 Dwight is looked upon as the premiere mind in all of the multiverse, having lived long enough to master every known subject. He is just as able to debate 7th dimensional hydrophysics as he is to play you in a game of high-gravity super-chess or compose a beautiful song on the Invisible Piano. Dwight now looks like a man of about 70 years old. Far, far beyond this moment Dwight watches the stars burn out one by one around him. He is alone in the multiverse now. But he is content, knowing that he has lived a full life and seen more than anyone else in creation. He sits in his favorite chair as all light around him slowly fades away, leaving nothing behind. He wonders, briefly, what comes next. His body has slowly begun to fail him over the past thousand years or so. He wakes up with pain in his back, he has to get up to go the bathroom more than he'd like, and his hairline is not what it used to be. He closes his eyes and prepares for a long sleep. Then, he feels a tap on his shoulder. A familiar voice speaks to him quietly. "Aren't you curious what I did to you?" Dwight turns around as quickly as he can, but no one is there. The final stars burn out and, for the first time in several billion years, Dwight is uneasy.
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May 6, 2021 18:23
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SuperMechagodzilla posted:In this episode of The Office, Jim “accidentally” leaves Prank_Ideas.txt open on his desktop - listing thousands of Forbidden Pranks involving piss sex, dog incest, etc. Dwight writes a Marxist analysis of the Transformers series and Jim points and laughs at him.
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May 6, 2021 19:30
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Jim deliberately beans Dwight with the ball during the company softball game. Dwight gets to walk to first base, but his face hurts for the rest of the day.
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May 6, 2021 19:43
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Dwight writes a Marxist analysis of the Transformers series and Jim points and laughs at him. I thought that analysis WAS the prank
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May 6, 2021 19:45
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Jim asks Dwight if Dwight's face hurts. Dwight opens his mouth to answer, but Jim loudly interrupts, "because it's killin' me! Yuk yuk yuk!"
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May 6, 2021 21:38
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At Dwight’s office birthday party, Jim keeps making passive-aggressive comments like “Dwight is the best salesman at this office. Which is like being the smartest goldfish!” And “What a hard worker Dwight is. Can you believe he sells paper and runs a beet farm?! What an accomplishment!” with an ironic, just-kidding grin. But he does it just enough to get under Dwight’s skin and make him feel a little embarrassed.
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May 6, 2021 23:17
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Jim hides all the extra staples in the entire office, and waits until Dwight uses the exact last staple in his own desk stapler (the one that was in jello). Then he prints off six copies of a massive twelve page report just before Mr. Wallace arrives for a presentation and asks Dwight to go get those reports and pass them out after binding them.
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May 6, 2021 23:20
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Jim hunts Dwight through a house of horrors and kills him, then carves his body into some kind of fish creature. 
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May 6, 2021 23:22
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Two police officers arrive at the Dunder-Mifflin office. They find an old dog sleeping on top of a desk. A tearful Jim greets the police and thanks them for responding to his call. “I’m so sorry to ask this of you,” Jim says, “but my poor dog here got diagnosed with terminal cancer. He’s in so much pain, doesn’t eat, and can’t get around like he used to. I don’t have a gun and and it kills me to say this, but I just can’t watch him suffer like this anymore. Could you... shoot him, and give him a quick death?” At first the cops refuse, but Jim begins wailing, beside himself with grief. Moved to tears, one of the cops finally agrees. He takes out his sidearm and puts one bullet in the dog’s head, killing it instantly. Hearing the shot, Dwight runs into the room. “Mose! He’s dead! What have you done?!? Why?” “I *told* you to keep that dog off of my desk, Dwight.”, Jim replies, mugging at the camera.
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May 7, 2021 00:20
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Jim comes up to Dwight and asks, “Hey, Dwight, do you like five guys?” Dwight, thinking Jim is referring to the Five Guys Burgers and Fries restaurant chain, answers, “Of course. I love Five Guys.” “You LOVE five guys?” Jim exclaims. “Dwight loves five guys! Dwight is gay! Dwight is a gay slut!” Jim yells at the top of his lungs as Dwight sputters his protests. Oscar later has a private conversation with Toby.
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May 7, 2021 02:21
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A Fancy Hat posted:As Dwight nears retirement, he notices that he hasn't aged in 20 years. He goes to his doctor, concerned, and they note that he's extremely healthy for a man nearing 65 years old. They insist there's nothing to worry about, there's no danger in being too healthy and looking young as you near your senior years. While Dwight is on a sales call, Jim pees into his mouth
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May 7, 2021 03:10
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Dwight and Jim have a few uneventful -- one might even dare say friendly -- days at the office. One afternoon, while having a nice chuckle across the desk from one another, Jim's expression suddenly becomes grim. He mutters something to the effect of, "I can't do this again," and bolts. An understandably confused Dwight inquires about the incident. Their co-workers are evasive and cagey, refusing to go into it. It's only Pam who finally explains that, once upon a lifetime ago, Dwight and Jim were lovers. And due to an unfortunate accident, Dwight lost all recollection of Jim and their love for him. Jim pushes Dwight away to ease the ache in his own heart of coming to work across from the man he once loved. To allow himself to get along with Dwight -- if even for a few days -- was almost too much for Jim to bear. Dwight gives chase, only to tragically find Jim in a pool of his own blood, having flung himself from the rooftop. After one harrowing trip to the hospital and many hours agonizing over whether Jim would make it or not, the doctor finally enters the waiting room and informs everyone that Jim is not only alive, but conscious. The doctor urges yhat only one person visit at a time, so as not to overwhelm Jim after his near-death experience. All eyes fall to Dwight. With a mixture of newfound resolve and some trepidation Dwight enters the room. Noticing Dwight's arrival from his hospital bed, Jim gives him an awkward smile, asks, "I'm sorry, have we met?" and mugs at the camera.
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May 7, 2021 03:57
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Jim pours sugar into Dwight's gas tank. Dwight can only chuckle to himself, because even he has to admit that it's kind of funny the fourth time it happens.
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May 7, 2021 17:09
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Jim contrives a situation where Dwight ends up in a field littered with hundreds of rakes. Each step Dwight takes sends a rake jumping up to slam him in the face. It’s funny at first, then not funny, then extremely funny.
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May 7, 2021 17:37
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Jim secretly injects Dwight with an experimental growth serum. Overnight Dwight grows to 85ft tall, but his genitals remain exactly the same size, looking non-existent on his massive frame. Jim coyly asks a Dwight what the weather is like up there, but Dwight is dead, his lungs unable to keep up with his massively increased size.
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May 7, 2021 17:58
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Who What Now posted:Jim secretly injects Dwight with an experimental growth serum. Overnight Dwight grows to 85ft tall, but his genitals remain exactly the same size, looking non-existent on his massive frame. Jim coyly asks a Dwight what the weather is like up there, but Dwight is dead, his lungs unable to keep up with his massively increased size. haha
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May 7, 2021 17:59
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Jim sneaks into Dwights house one night and dyes Dwights entire body in extremely powerful yellow ink. He then replaces all of Dwights clothes with white polos and blue jeans. Finally he pays everyone in the office ten dollars to call Dwight "Homer" all day. Dwight doesn't get the joke because he doesn't watch TV, but he knows Jim must be behind all of this so he confronts him in the break room. "I know you're the one who dyed my skin and switched my clothes! Admit it!" Jim smirks, "You know what, you're right. I did it and it was really dumb and immature. I felt bad so I got you these." Jim opens a light pink cardboard box, inside are a dozen donuts. He picks one up tentatively, and takes a bite. For a moment it's the most delicious donut he's ever eaten. He can't even name the flavor but it's perfect. But soon the pleasure turns to pain, Dwight doubles over grabbing his stomach, and falls to his knees. His hair falls out, down to three single hairs across his scalp. His fingers merge to 4 on each featureless hand. His glasses fall off his face and break on the floor, his eyes enlarging and his pupils shrinking to black dots. Gasping through the pain Dwight asks, "What did you do to me!?" Jim just laughs and says "You know? Homer Simpson? Like from The Simpsons, haha, lighten up Dwight!" Dwight begins to scream in agony and Jim rolls his eyes for the camera and leaves.
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May 7, 2021 18:18
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PinheadSlim posted:Jim sneaks into Dwights house one night and dyes Dwights entire body in extremely powerful yellow ink. He then replaces all of Dwights clothes with white polos and blue jeans. Finally he pays everyone in the office ten dollars to call Dwight "Homer" all day. Dwight doesn't get the joke because he doesn't watch TV, but he knows Jim must be behind all of this so he confronts him in the break room. The Simpsons meme thread is starting to get really abstract
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May 7, 2021 21:18
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Yet as the mighty Jim fell and dread engulfed the armies of Dunder-Mifflin, the demon priests of the Office laid a trap to capture this scourge of paper. Insatiable, even by the vanquishing of the Great One, the Beet Grower sought prey in the tombs of the Warehouse. And blinded by his fervor, the lure drew him in. The priests brought down the temple upon the Beet Grower, and in his defeat entombed him in the cursed sarcophagus. The mark of the Beet Grower was burned upon his crypt, a warning to all that the terror within must never be freed. There he lies still, and ever more, in silent suffering.
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May 7, 2021 21:27
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Jim tricks Dwight into going to the US capital on January 6th
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May 7, 2021 21:31
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jim tampers with dwights angle grinder causing the disk to explode and blind him
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May 7, 2021 23:02
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Dwight Schrute waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were customers in the office. He didn't see them, but had expected them, now for years. His warnings to Jim Halpert were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. Dwight was a beet farmer for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the paper salesmen and he said to dad "I want to be a paper salesman, daddy." Dad said "NO! YOU WILL BE KILL BY DEMONS!" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the office an american workplace of Dunder Mifflin he knew there were demons. "This is Jim," the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!" So Dwight gotted his Paper Rifle and blew up the wall. "HE GOING TO KILL US," said the demons! "I will shoot at him," said the Paperdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. Dwight papaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill. "No! I must kill the demons," he shouted! The radio said "No, Dwight. You are the demons." And then, Dwight was a Zombie.
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May 7, 2021 23:58
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Jim warns Dwight about stairs, but Dwight doesn't listen. Moments later, Dwight takes a tumble down a very long flight of stairs as Jim taunts him. It keeps happening.
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May 8, 2021 02:56
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Jim kicks Dwight square in the chest as Dwight is walking out of the bathroom, sending Dwight flying backwards into the stall and splashing hard into the toilet. "You're trash." Jim spits on Dwight and leaves him struggling to extricate himself from the toilet.
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May 8, 2021 03:38
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| # ? May 29, 2024 06:27 |
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Jim shoves Dwight in a locker and walks off in his letterman jacket while Andy and Oscar flank either side, snickering and cheering him on.
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May 8, 2021 03:59
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