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Really wanna know how people think they could kill an elephant with their bare hands. They had to make bigger guns to kill elephants, because the ones we had for killing lions and bears weren't enough. What the gently caress do these people think their untrained punch is going to do better than a 12 gauge shotgun?
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May 14, 2021 23:10
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Sunswipe posted:Really wanna know how people think they could kill an elephant with their bare hands. They had to make bigger guns to kill elephants, because the ones we had for killing lions and bears weren't enough. What the gently caress do these people think their untrained punch is going to do better than a 12 gauge shotgun? Obviously they'll just tear a tusk off and stab the elephant in the brain.
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May 14, 2021 23:12
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Sunswipe posted:Really wanna know how people think they could kill an elephant with their bare hands. They had to make bigger guns to kill elephants, because the ones we had for killing lions and bears weren't enough. What the gently caress do these people think their untrained punch is going to do better than a 12 gauge shotgun? A man who killed a jaguar with his bare hands barely, MIRACULOUSLY survived being attacked by an elephant. If he can't do it, you can't do it, idiots in this poll!
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May 14, 2021 23:13
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You simply punch them in their weak spot.
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May 14, 2021 23:13
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Sunswipe posted:Really wanna know how people think they could kill an elephant with their bare hands. They had to make bigger guns to kill elephants, because the ones we had for killing lions and bears weren't enough. What the gently caress do these people think their untrained punch is going to do better than a 12 gauge shotgun? Naw, see people think that because you're unarmed you have to use your hands to do it. We're humans, we're not the strongest we're the smartest. You gotta get inside the elephant's head and then you gotta use your words to break him down. You don't have to kill the elephant you just gotta make him kill himself
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May 14, 2021 23:15
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Admiral Joeslop posted:Obviously they'll just tear a tusk off and stab the elephant in the brain. Does that still count as being unarmed though? Tearing parts off your opponent is a sound tactic, but using those parts as weapons seems against the idea of unarmed combat.
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May 14, 2021 23:15
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It's definitely possible that those people have never seen an elephant in real life and have no idea how big they are.
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May 14, 2021 23:16
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about the size of a medium dog i would imagine.
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May 14, 2021 23:17
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One way to deal with an elephant in ancient tactics was to form an opening and the elephant would run through it rather than charge a mass of people. It says unarmed but it didn’t say you had to do it alone
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May 14, 2021 23:23
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You want to fight an elephant? You're gonna need a pig, some tar and a box of matches. Ideally several pigs in case the first one doesnt work.
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May 14, 2021 23:27
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It's entirely because elephants aren't labeled as predators so they think a "prey" animal that needs entire prides to strategically swarm them down who still end up getting crippled or killed a good proportion of the time probably isn't dangerous and will just roll over and die. Most people literally operate on the principle that predator meat eater = dangerous and herbivore migratory pack animal = weak and ineffectual, even though a hippo can murder virtually 99% of the animal kingdom with ease.
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May 14, 2021 23:30
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:even though a hippo can murder virtually 99% of the animal kingdom with ease. 
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May 14, 2021 23:35
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worse, they think predators are like the real animals and the other species are 'prey' and 'there for being eaten'. That's not how evolution works. You'd be surprised how many people think deer evolved so wolves had something to eat
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May 14, 2021 23:36
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It just says "beat." Do I have to fight to the death? There's a number of animals on there I feel fairly certain about my ability to convince to not fight me, but unarmed I think me and a rat would be a pretty even match, if for some reason one wanted to fight me. I might be bigger, but a rat is faster and has way more bite strength than I do.
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May 14, 2021 23:45
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CharlestheHammer posted:That was genuinely more interesting than this How loving dare you accuse me of sarcasm. I was enjoying that conversation in all three threads
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May 14, 2021 23:52
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Why would I be fighting an elephant in the first place? I like elephants.
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May 15, 2021 00:02
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q81ptFSA4mk
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May 15, 2021 00:04
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:murder virtually 99% of the animal kingdom with ease. Also boats. In fact, IIRC, Hippos kill more people than any other African animal.
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May 15, 2021 00:07
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Regarde Aduck posted:worse, they think predators are like the real animals and the other species are 'prey' and 'there for being eaten'. That's not how evolution works. You'd be surprised how many people think deer evolved so wolves had something to eat I remember reading some guy's account of the time he tried to tangle with a deer. It did not go well for him.
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May 15, 2021 00:11
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We just need to fashion some kind of rudimentary lathe
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May 15, 2021 00:14
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RoboRodent posted:It just says "beat." Do I have to fight to the death? There's a number of animals on there I feel fairly certain about my ability to convince to not fight me, but unarmed I think me and a rat would be a pretty even match, if for some reason one wanted to fight me. I might be bigger, but a rat is faster and has way more bite strength than I do. I can beat all the elephants in the world by just not being in the general vicinity of any of them.
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May 15, 2021 00:14
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:Why would I be fighting an elephant in the first place? I like elephants. You fight an elephant in the first half to establish it is a badass so you can team up later to take out the real bad guy.
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May 15, 2021 00:19
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The other half of that poll (animal vs. animal) has humans winning only 17% of match ups, so most people know that the animal kingdom can seriously gently caress us up. Interesting that when the question changes to be about how you would fare in a fight, some, mostly men, are "built different".
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May 15, 2021 00:21
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RoboRodent posted:It just says "beat." Do I have to fight to the death? There's a number of animals on there I feel fairly certain about my ability to convince to not fight me, but unarmed I think me and a rat would be a pretty even match, if for some reason one wanted to fight me. I might be bigger, but a rat is faster and has way more bite strength than I do. You aren’t going to trick me roborodent.
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May 15, 2021 00:23
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Still amazed at the amount of people who think they couldn't take a housecat.
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May 15, 2021 00:27
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Vib Rib posted:Still amazed at the amount of people who think they couldn't take a housecat. Mine assures me he's a vicious apex predator
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May 15, 2021 00:28
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May 15, 2021 00:37
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Fun fact about elephants is that males undergo a hormone cycle called "musth" and when they're at a certain stage of it they get so murderous that captive ones need to be quarantined from pretty much all other forms of life because they will absolutely kill them
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May 15, 2021 00:48
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The thing about cats/swans is you can’t fight it if you don’t want it to die. But you’re also probably like 20x bigger and stronger than either a cat or a swan so you can definitely win. The cat fight wouldn’t be super pleasant though.
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May 15, 2021 00:53
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RoboRodent posted:It just says "beat." Do I have to fight to the death? There's a number of animals on there I feel fairly certain about my ability to convince to not fight me, but unarmed I think me and a rat would be a pretty even match, if for some reason one wanted to fight me. I might be bigger, but a rat is faster and has way more bite strength than I do. Can't you just upgrade your servos?
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May 15, 2021 01:35
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distinctive lack of rhinos in that poll 🤔
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May 15, 2021 01:41
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Captain Monkey posted:The thing about cats/swans is you can’t fight it if you don’t want it to die. But you’re also probably like 20x bigger and stronger than either a cat or a swan so you can definitely win.
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May 15, 2021 02:06
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Unless you’re absurdly lucky you will be cut to shreds in the process of fighting a cat, even though winning is basically guaranteed. gently caress, I have little cuts all over my hand and arm right now just from fishing one out from behind the sofa so we could shut them out of the living room for the night, I’d rather fight a dog of any size than a house cat.
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May 15, 2021 02:22
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May 15, 2021 02:26
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History Comes Inside! posted:Unless you’re absurdly lucky you will be cut to shreds in the process of fighting a cat, even though winning is basically guaranteed.
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May 15, 2021 02:30
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You gotta put that cat in a armbar mate
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May 15, 2021 02:31
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Cats punch way above their weight class. I think I could win but I don’t know how much skin I’d have left. Source: I got in the middle of a cat fight.
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May 15, 2021 03:01
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lifg posted:Cats punch way above their weight class. I think I could win but I don’t know how much skin I’d have left. In DND up through at least 3.5e a cat was likely to beat a level one commoner in a fight. E: also “sissy hypno vortex porno” can be sung to the TMNT theme song.
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May 15, 2021 03:03
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Yeah this is coming from the viewpoint that the cat also wants to kill you, not that you’re just going to jump some unsuspecting cat and snap it’s neck like a twig. Those claws are sharp as gently caress.
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May 15, 2021 03:03
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The only time I had to fight a cat was when one got stuck on my deck and flipped poo poo because my dog was looking at it, and it hissed at us and I'm like dude this is MY loving house nobody asked you to come here Fortunately I thought ahead and put on leather gloves, but it scratched my dog and that really pissed me off so I just grabbed it and football threw it off the deck onto the road. (There were no cars, it landed on its feet and ran away unharmed) I generally have a good relationship with the cats in my neighbourhood but that one was a loving prick. My dog was a very good girl and didnt deserve that  Incidentally one time a horse tried to bite my dog from behind a fence, and I decked it in the loving nose. gently caress horses they're the worst loving animal.
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May 15, 2021 03:11
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