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sharknado slashfic)
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TeenageArchipelago posted:Please give me Fully Automated Luxury Gay Earth Communism Reconstruction Mr ET sir, my family is dying If you can't earn it yourself, you'll just ruin space for the responsible species. No, we'll just have to wait 100M years for the next sapient species and see if they don't have psycho ape brains
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May 19, 2021 02:44
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| # ? May 20, 2024 18:49 |
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Hatebag posted:If you can't earn it yourself, you'll just ruin space for the responsible species. No, we'll just have to wait 100M years for the next sapient species and see if they don't have psycho ape brains they're not wrong but they are assholes
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May 19, 2021 02:45
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What if...what if we're the assholes??
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May 19, 2021 02:48
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Good Soldier Svejk posted:they're not wrong Theories about aliens manipulating human evolution are always funny because look what human evolution and civilization have produced lol. We've caused our own extinction event! If someone made us, they're a real bunch of fuckups!
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May 19, 2021 02:53
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Just wait until the Beserkers get here, we'll be sorry
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May 19, 2021 02:55
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Jetto Jagga posted:Just wait until the Beserkers get here, we'll be sorry It's okay, I've played a lot of xcom I know how to handle this step 1 is everyone let me dress you and give you backstories this is going to take a few days so bear with me
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May 19, 2021 02:56
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Hatebag posted:Theories about aliens manipulating human evolution are always funny because look what human evolution and civilization have produced lol. We've caused our own extinction event! If someone made us, they're a real bunch of fuckups! what if we're just on a giant petri dish. the UFOs are grad students checking in on the experiment. they've got 50 other earths around the galaxy they are running the same test on. the experiment probably didn't even purposely involve us, they are trying to figure out why animals keep evolving into crabs.
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May 19, 2021 02:59
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Jetto Jagga posted:Just wait until the Beserkers get here, we'll be sorry Hopefully we'll have laser shotguns by then
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May 19, 2021 03:00
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Atrocious Joe posted:what if we're just on a giant petri dish. the UFOs are grad students checking in on the experiment. they've got 50 other earths around the galaxy they are running the same test on. That's true, or they could've been trying to make crazy ape planet because they thought it would be funny. I kind of think it's funny
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May 19, 2021 03:02
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Atrocious Joe posted:what if we're just on a giant petri dish. the UFOs are grad students checking in on the experiment. they've got 50 other earths around the galaxy they are running the same test on. Being a cosmic experiment would explain all the observation without intervention and vicious probing
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May 19, 2021 03:03
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Hatebag posted:If you can't earn it yourself, you'll just ruin space for the responsible species. No, we'll just have to wait 100M years for the next sapient species and see if they don't have psycho ape brains i'm pretty sure there cant be anybody after us because of just how hard we've strip mined the planet lol
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May 19, 2021 03:04
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I mean gently caress I didn't even get a vicious probing, that would at least make some progress towards making this all worth it (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 19, 2021 03:05
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Judge Dredd Scott posted:i'm pretty sure there cant be anybody after us because of just how hard we've strip mined the planet lol Most of the minerals are still here. Some vanadium, uranium/plutonium shot out into space. 100M years is enough time for a new regime of life to take over though. Really though the Cretaceous extinction event was only 66M years ago and that killed 75% of life on the planet. Climate change probably won't even kill all humans. The population will get devastated but some will be able to adapt to the new environment and probably ruin it again within 100k years lol
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May 19, 2021 03:12
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Hatebag posted:Most of the minerals are still here. Some vanadium, uranium/plutonium shot out into space. 100M years is enough time for a new regime of life to take over though. Good odds it doesn't even go all road warrior I'd wager on a Children of Men scenario but it's a deliberate effort by world governments to sterilize large portions of the population
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May 19, 2021 03:14
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the aliens are really concerned about humans nuking everything or boiling the oceans, ruining their 10 million year longitudinal study on eusocial invertebrates. contacting indigenous political leaders can be messy though, and no one on this project is actually certified to do legitimate first contact with us. so off the books they are abducting random people and visiting school kids to tell us to try to stop the environmental destruction. eventually they hope the message will get through.
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May 19, 2021 03:16
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Ps the minuscule percentage of cattle "mutilations" that are actually real are definitely psyops to keep the UFO conspiracy matrix going.
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May 19, 2021 03:18
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Jetto Jagga posted:Ps the minuscule percentage of cattle "mutilations" that are actually real are definitely psyops to keep the UFO conspiracy matrix going. That's just what the aliens want you to think.
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May 19, 2021 03:24
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Good Soldier Svejk posted:That's just what the aliens want you to think. Richard Doty specifically met with the leading cattle mutilation reporter, Linda Howe, in the early 80s to "inform" her it was aliens. She bought it because she's a hack impressed by govt spooks flashing their access.
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May 19, 2021 03:33
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I think the most conspicuous thing about this UFO stuff is that so many of these sitings are through sensory equipment. There's a very simple explanation for "why are military people constantly seeing weird things on their equipment while normal people rarely see these things with their actual eyes" - there's just some issue with the equipment. Like they'll see some dot acting weirdly and decide that "this must be an object traveling a zillion miles per hour and instantly making abrupt turns" is more reasonable than "this is a dot appearing on my screen because of some sort of glitch."
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May 19, 2021 03:33
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Ytlaya posted:I think the most conspicuous thing about this UFO stuff is that so many of these sitings are through sensory equipment. There's a very simple explanation for "why are military people constantly seeing weird things on their equipment while normal people rarely see these things with their actual eyes" - there's just some issue with the equipment. People are seeing them with their naked eyes though. The videos released are flir cams showing infrared video of coherent objects moving around but the pilots have gotten visual confirmation as well.
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May 19, 2021 03:39
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Hatebag posted:Most of the minerals are still here. Some vanadium, uranium/plutonium shot out into space. 100M years is enough time for a new regime of life to take over though. On a long enough time scale and depending on the location, the Earth's crust is recycled through subduction zones and divergent plate boundaries, like a few hundred million years. Sucks for anyone after us that all the sweet, sweet coal from the Carboniferous will be permanently tapped out. Maybe if they're lucky oil is abiotic after all lol
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May 19, 2021 03:47
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Will plastic turn back into oil like goop on these time spans? (After putting microplastic into every living thing ofc)
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May 19, 2021 03:52
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OK baizuo posted:On a long enough time scale and depending on the location, the Earth's crust is recycled through subduction zones and divergent plate boundaries, like a few hundred million years. Well luckily we're getting the atmosphere up to carboniferous co2 levels and causing a mass extinction, so some later species can run their death machines on our corpses
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May 19, 2021 04:00
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Hatebag posted:Well luckily we're getting the atmosphere up to carboniferous co2 levels and causing a mass extinction, so some later species can run their death machines on our corpses Maybe if we extinct ourselves so hard that we take fungi with us Also after googling it plastics just break down into even smaller and smaller pieces, apparently there is such a thing as nanoplastics. very cool and good
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May 19, 2021 04:03
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https://mobile.twitter.com/seanilling/status/1394833996287152128
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May 19, 2021 10:10
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Good Soldier Svejk posted:I guess I also sincerely do want to believe. Scully's job was to be a useful idiot who keeps Mulder from getting too close to the truth.
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May 19, 2021 11:21
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Atrocious Joe posted:The funniest option for the UFO videos coming out is that the religious military officials who thought UFOs were demons have all retired. The funniest option is that those guys are exist and hold power over anything.
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May 19, 2021 11:22
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Any other notable sightings like the Zimbabwe one that have a lot of corroborating evidence?
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May 19, 2021 11:23
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"Unidentified aircraft are tools of the devil" - Person who drops bombs on hospitals for a living
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May 19, 2021 11:29
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Dr. Killjoy posted:oh trust me navy's already got the aircraft angle covered, they're just not showoffs like the Air Force
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May 19, 2021 12:22
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bluh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LafxI_SOrCk
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May 19, 2021 12:24
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TeenageArchipelago posted:The more of these news reports that I see, the more that I am buying the take that this whole media push is just trying to get more space force funding lmao https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXtkq07oUaM
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May 19, 2021 12:32
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Zisky posted:"Sure look like Chinese drones to me!" says guy on a car blog site.
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May 19, 2021 12:33
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why would they frame them as aliens rather than just chinese/russian superweapons if their goal was simply funding?
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May 19, 2021 13:00
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CODChimera posted:why would they frame them as aliens rather than just chinese/russian superweapons if their goal was simply funding? To get the general public interested It would be cool if it's other countries frankly; that would mean someone on Earth can make these and we might get to have star trek
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May 19, 2021 13:02
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I'm not a propaganda strategist but it seems like "look at this incredible space poo poo we have no idea how to make" seems like better advertising for the people who made the amazing space poo poo than our podunk highest funded military in the world that still runs windows XP all over the place
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May 19, 2021 13:14
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The US DoD was having trouble securing funding and so concocted a cunning plan
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May 19, 2021 13:22
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Inspector Hound posted:To get the general public interested the general public is probably more interested in china than aliens
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May 19, 2021 13:30
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Thinking about it, ufos being from some undersea intelligent civilization is maybe more likely than them being from another world. Plus they're typically associated with bodies of water. They could have millions of years of a headstart on us
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May 19, 2021 13:45
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| # ? May 20, 2024 18:49 |
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personally i believe the greentext i saw on 4chan about how they're colonizing our oceans
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May 19, 2021 13:55
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