Emi Sakura Promotions Thread: There Is No God Here

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Emi Sakura Promotions Thread: There Is No God Here

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Who is the Ace of Choco Pro?
	Akki
	Mei-chan
	Sakura-san
	Anton
	Chris Brookes until literally anyone on this show beats him
	Yunamon

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Let's go!

Akki giving the match overview

# ? May 15, 2021 02:03

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 00:54

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Poor Emi getting interrupted during her intro TWICE IN A ROW

# ? May 15, 2021 02:12

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Dang Emi, did that wall hurt your feelings

# ? May 15, 2021 02:12

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

there's a part of me that wishes Emi wasn't wrestling with that arm even as Emi Pencil

# ? May 15, 2021 02:29

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Great job Akki-pencil!

# ? May 15, 2021 02:41

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

LULU WINS by association

# ? May 15, 2021 02:41

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

A lot of new people in the chat getting very excited about a Lulu tag win (fair enough) but saying it's her first win ever, which just isn't true.

She's been winning the occasional tags for quite some time now, as recently as episode 99.

# ? May 15, 2021 02:53

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

https://twitter.com/obeybrookes/status/1393579157179682816?s=21

Does Mei know an arm submission?

# ? May 15, 2021 15:51

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

She grabs the arms on that underhook bridge thing she uses

# ? May 15, 2021 20:08

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

There's a new ChocoPro happening! Now!

# ? May 16, 2021 02:03

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

poo poo, Emi has been slapped full of Fighting Spirit

# ? May 16, 2021 02:13

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

Chie is in peak chie form today

# ? May 16, 2021 02:16

The Taxman: Jan 2, 2007; greetings sweeties, let me give you a back massage. for i am a whiz!

This has been an amazing opener, Emi having to contort Lulu into the figure 4 was the hardest I've laughed in a long time.

And WHAT A PENCIL THROW

# ? May 16, 2021 02:23

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

yeah this is a real hot opener

# ? May 16, 2021 02:29

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

proud to be an egg tart

# ? May 16, 2021 02:32

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Totally unbiased ref Mei didn't miss that call against Pencil Army

# ? May 16, 2021 02:32

The Taxman: Jan 2, 2007; greetings sweeties, let me give you a back massage. for i am a whiz!

I'm so happy Yunamon is back

# ? May 16, 2021 02:42

delfin: Dec 5, 2003; SNATTER'S ALIVE?!?!

Lulu bribing the ref with snacks from her pencil so she can cheat is the best.

# ? May 16, 2021 02:55

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

The best, most competent refs in pro wrestling

# ? May 16, 2021 02:59

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Good grief Yunamon is a monster

# ? May 16, 2021 03:00

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

come on mei, act like you been there

edit: see this is what happens

# ? May 16, 2021 03:07

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

Mei lost at janken, all is right in the universe

# ? May 16, 2021 03:08

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

LULU WINS Janken

# ? May 16, 2021 03:09

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

are the lyrics to this ending song listed anywhere? i've developed my own headcanon for how it goes which is almost certainly wrong

# ? May 16, 2021 03:10

Veib: Dec 10, 2007

The match cards for this weekend are out and hey remember how that 3 on 3 Pencil Army vs team Chris Brookes was cancelled when Drew Parker got injured

Well they've found a replacement and while I have nothing against Drew I'm pretty loving sure this is gonna be better

https://twitter.com/gatohmove/status/1395648055160958977

# ? May 21, 2021 09:48

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Veib posted:

The match cards for this weekend are out and hey remember how that 3 on 3 Pencil Army vs team Chris Brookes was cancelled when Drew Parker got injured

Well they've found a replacement and while I have nothing against Drew I'm pretty loving sure this is gonna be better

https://twitter.com/gatohmove/status/1395648055160958977

Holy poo poo! This is going to be loving bonkers. Definitely GDT worthy.

# ? May 21, 2021 12:14

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Double post
It kind of sucks Gatoh Move is overlapping the Hana memorial show on the 23rd: https://twitter.com/gatohmove/status/1395647143302496256

Edit: Oh it should be fine there's an hour and a half clearance.

Reminder buy the show on Fite.tv: https://www.fite.tv/watch/hana-kimura-memorial-matane/2p9bx/

fez_machine fucked around with this message at 12:28 on May 21, 2021

# ? May 21, 2021 12:22

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

Veib posted:

The match cards for this weekend are out and hey remember how that 3 on 3 Pencil Army vs team Chris Brookes was cancelled when Drew Parker got injured

Well they've found a replacement and while I have nothing against Drew I'm pretty loving sure this is gonna be better

https://twitter.com/gatohmove/status/1395648055160958977

Aww hell yeah

Wonder if this one�s gonna go even longer than the 4v4 egg bros vs full pencil army match. And I�m guessing lulu will get a visual pin on brookes here to set up a 1v1

# ? May 21, 2021 19:11

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

CHOCOPRO #118: REMINDER TO SELF: THERE'S ANOTHER MATCH CARD DUE TOMORROW. REMINDER TO YOU: BUY THE HANA MEMORIAL SHOW BY TOMORROW ON fite.tv
WATCH LIVE ON YOUTUBE HERE
Time: 10am (JST) / 2am (BST) / 6pm (PDT) / 9pm (EDT)

1 HOUR TO GO

Below is Super Fan Dogglesnake's match card for tonight from Reddit. Found HERE

quote:

Arrival of the Snow Princess: The Demon, The Apple, and the Ninja!

Mei Suruga & Sayuri VS Waka Tsukiyama & Ayano Irie (Debut)

A Crimson Pair appears! �Genius� Mei Suruga & the Kunoichi of the Fourth Generation, Sayuri are teaming up due to a twist of fate! While Mei was meant to pair up with her rival Ayumi Hayashi, illness has aligned her instead with another wrestling tactician. Mei is one half of the Asia Dream Tag Champions (with Baliyan Akki), so she is no stranger to tagging! She actually has a TON of teams in ChocoPro, now that I think about it...A pin & submission specialist, Mei should be able to think on the fly and cook up some fun team attacks with the swapped in Ninja! Sayuri is a Bodyslam Expert that can pull off some extremely flashy jutsu style techniques, but lately she has been struggling with confidence. Perhaps being with the excessively confident Mei will help boost the Red Ninja's determination?

The AWG Colors Invasion continues! The Snow Princess from Hokkaido, Ayano Irie, arrives at Ichigaya! �Dropkick in Your Ear� is one of the coolest special skills I've ever seen listed on a wrestler's bio, so expect some fun from this Dropkick Enthusiast! (She'll fit right in!) A Voice Actress, lover of Pandas, and overall wonderful addition to the show! (Her gear is some of my favorite in the entire AWG promotion, so buckle up!) Ayano will be pairing with the returning Delightful Demon, Waka Tsukiyama! Don't be fooled by her sweet and innocent act, this devil is up to no good! (Good luck not being enthralled, by the way) She's out for revenge after being branded by Emi Sakura's legendary Chop, so the crimson pair of Mei & Sayuri better be ready! If you're interested in checking out AWG further (it is worth it!), they have a streaming service for their catalogue and also air new shows on Nico Pro!

Road to Pencil War: Fourth Generation Skirmish!

Pencil Army (Lulupencil & Emi Sakura) VS Chie Koishikawa & Sayaka

Pi-pi! Pi-pi-pi! Pencil Army marches forth once more! ChocoPro's only Unit has seen better days, but you can't keep a good Pencil down! Lulupencil might not have the Power & Cunning of her partner, Emi Sakura, but she does have endless passion and the ability to change hearts & minds! Can her passion make up for her physical shortcomings against her fellow Fourth Generation members? If not, Emi Pencil will handle it! The joshi living legend and remorseless Oni couldn't even be taken down by the treacherous Chris Brookes! Surely her lariats and the Pencil Army's dual La Magistrals will carry them to victory! ...Do your best!

Cosplayer & Monster Slayer Sayaka has already proven her worth since her return to Ichigaya. With her flashy dropkicks, natural talent, and glowing personality, Sayaka is definitely gaining on the other members of the Fourth Generation in terms of popularity! How can she be so good out of the gate? She'll be partnered with �Too Much Energy� Chie Koishikawa! MVChie (the MVP of the Sixth Season!) always delivers! The Frantic Fencer (wait till you see her unique fencing chops!) has grown so much over the past few seasons, going from a ChocoMint to MVP in no time. This Haunting Hero has recently finished a tour with Michinoku Pro Wrestling, and is looking to reestablish her place in ChocoPro! Warm Greetings and Savage Beatings await their foes!

The Fated Main Event! Otoki rises!

Baliyan Akki VS Tokiko �Otoki� Kirihara

How many Main Events has the Ace of ChocoPro, Baliyan Akki, done this season? It has to be a record! This young up-and-comer has already made quite the name for himself in Ichigaya (not to mention strong showings against the heroes of DDT & AJPW) and his storied journey will definitely find him at the top of the wrestling world some day! The Zephyr of Ichigaya is known for his fine tuned precision (those strikes!), his boundless creativity (a mastery of the fundamentals and a drive to push into brand new techniques), and his confident but carefree breezy attitude. How can this elite level talent stay so humble? A once in a lifetime fighter, definitely living up to his epithet �One in a Billion�!Surely as the Wind blows, Akki is the peak of the promotion. But an old foe seeks to claim her place at the top of the mountain!

What was meant to be on Episode 97 has finally arrived! Main Event Otoki! Even with all the recent returns of the Fourth Generation, Otoki still stands out. Whether it be showing off her comedic chops along side Anton in Black Comaneci, or brutalizing the new arrivals from AWG, she has improved so much for her level of experience! Tokiko �Otoki� Kirihara is consistently a dark horse candidate for MVP, every single season. There is a big reason she is called the Super Rookie of the Fourth Generation. This kick-boxing, Judo throwing, berserker can go toe to toe with the rest of the roster: even her seniors! Otoki is such a game changer that her team with Lulu managed to go undefeated for quite a while! When she starts to get angry, the heaviest strikes and cruelest submissions appear! Now that she has her own Main Event, can she prove just how strong she is to Akki...and to the world? GO GO COMANECI!

Last Words on Sports contributes the hot linkable images and has a more sober overview of the card HERE

Watch live on Youtube for free HERE

# ? May 22, 2021 00:57

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

I have no idea what to expect from main event Tokiko

# ? May 22, 2021 02:02

Penguin Patrol: Mar 3, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

goddamnit Waka, there are other verses

# ? May 22, 2021 02:08

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Two minutes in and Akki is corpsing

# ? May 22, 2021 02:08

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

oh my god that trident rules

# ? May 22, 2021 02:13

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

Penguin Patrol posted:

I have no idea what to expect from main event Tokiko

Greatness, otoki rules

# ? May 22, 2021 02:14

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

Straight to the sponsors!

# ? May 22, 2021 02:19

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

sponsor cards as weapons is amazing lol

# ? May 22, 2021 02:19

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

that match was great

# ? May 22, 2021 02:30

fez_machine: Nov 27, 2004

HELLLLLLLLOOO

# ? May 22, 2021 02:31

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Emi trying to do the Kaientai Taunt is a highly illegal move

# ? May 22, 2021 02:36

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 00:54

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

DOUBLE SURFBOARD

# ? May 22, 2021 02:38

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Emi Sakura Promotions Thread: There Is No God Here

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