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boar guy posted:i know this ain't the thread for it but holy poo poo this job i just got, the manager is so bomb that this can't be real. i swear it's just an experiment in what happens to people when their boss treats them reasonably Weird... We appear to be more profitable, effective, and morale is up? Something is off here. Let's re-run the experiment.
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May 21, 2021 03:44
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things finally running smoothly? ah i know what this situation calls for ... a good old fashioned reorg
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May 21, 2021 03:48
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The Butcher posted:Weird... We appear to be more profitable, effective, and morale is up? Profits are soaring over the last six months. Also in other news working from home has been a disaster and cost us so much money that we need to end it now
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May 21, 2021 03:50
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Been out of a job for a few months, reading this thread as a form of exposure therapy so I'm ready for office bullshit again. Hey, it's me. I cruised through this thread over the past week or two and now I'm watching Office Space. I've been out of work for almost a year. There's a sick part of me that is excited about dumb corporate poo poo my work will do. I spent my career so far dealing with dumb state government poo poo my job did. I never had meetings at my old job! Surely they can't be that bad! 
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May 21, 2021 04:34
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Just got off my board meeting and holy gently caress am I appreciative of these fucks giving up their free time to make sure the organization works. I'd be completely screwed if they weren't donating their time to essentially doing a quarter of my job. People are surprised when they realise we're not a huge organization and instead just me and an assistant with a bunch of highly experienced advisors. Rereading that it sounds super sarcastic but it's not. Anyway back to complaining about werk: I spend at least 8 hours a week negotiating with funders to let me use their money in microscopically different ways than what's in the original funding agreement. This requires a minimum of three carefully constructed emails and possibly a couple of phone calls per agreement variation to get them to agree to my new plan, which is basically the same as the old plan. Funders are, for completely unrelated reasons, critical of the project management budget allocation. Shocking.
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May 21, 2021 04:48
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Today one of my clients removed a task from the upload queue to ask when it would be uploaded. It is very urgent you see. They can do this because we are transparent!
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May 21, 2021 04:57
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Rent-A-Cop posted:Today one of my clients removed a task from the upload queue to ask when it would be uploaded. Lol I'm dealing with vax IT scheduling poo poo right now and and it's a loving nightmare. "Cancel the appointment and just keep hitting the refresh button to see if a new spot opens up! It might happen!" I hate everything about government IT. I'm going to go cut down trees or some poo poo, And I love trees. That's how bad this is.
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May 21, 2021 06:03
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Cthulu Carl posted:Switched to a new company wide site for time-keeping that.... Takes over five minutes to even log in because everything about it runs like dog poo poo. Nice. At my last job they went through this whole big project to implement a corporate-wide timekeeping system, told everyone the old systems were done and going away, had a big kickoff only to have the system be super slow, horrible, and unresponsive to everyone outside of the US (which was a non-trivial number of people). They tried to make us use it but people just ignored it and kept using the old systems until they finally had to go back to the drawing board. When I was laid off they still didn't have an answer after over two years.
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May 21, 2021 15:54
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Local Weather posted:At my last job they went through this whole big project to implement a corporate-wide timekeeping system, told everyone the old systems were done and going away, had a big kickoff only to have the system be super slow, horrible, and unresponsive to everyone outside of the US (which was a non-trivial number of people). They tried to make us use it but people just ignored it and kept using the old systems until they finally had to go back to the drawing board. When I was laid off they still didn't have an answer after over two years. This one got implemented because our previous on used Flash so since December we've had to use Harman Browser in order to get to it.
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May 21, 2021 16:01
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If I read the word “stakeholder” one more time today I’m gonna have a rage stroke.
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May 21, 2021 17:45
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strokehater
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May 21, 2021 17:49
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Ugly In The Morning posted:If I read the word “stakeholder” one more time today I’m gonna have a rage stroke. Mentally substitute "Steakholder," it helps.
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May 21, 2021 17:51
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Strokeholder
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May 21, 2021 18:11
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Stonkholder.
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May 21, 2021 18:33
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Local Weather posted:At my last job they went through this whole big project to implement a corporate-wide timekeeping system, told everyone the old systems were done and going away, had a big kickoff only to have the system be super slow, horrible, and unresponsive to everyone outside of the US (which was a non-trivial number of people). They tried to make us use it but people just ignored it and kept using the old systems until they finally had to go back to the drawing board. When I was laid off they still didn't have an answer after over two years. When I start my eng job in 2008 they wanted me to use a project time tracking system that ran in a loving DOS window. It also only sorted projects chronologically, and didn't support pageDN or END in the list, so you had to scroll through hundreds of projects to get to current ones. I stopped using it after a month, and eventually we switched to win7 and it stopped working completely so they abandoned it.
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May 21, 2021 18:44
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If you don't go into the basement with dracula and help me drive it through his heart you don't get to be a stakeholder
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May 21, 2021 18:47
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Crustashio posted:When I start my eng job in 2008 they wanted me to use a project time tracking system that ran in a loving DOS window. It also only sorted projects chronologically, and didn't support pageDN or END in the list, so you had to scroll through hundreds of projects to get to current ones. God I wish that management here would learn the same lesson instead of spending more time and effort loving around with it till it (barely) runs on win10 than it would take to replace the offending software. When your entire workflow runs in emulators something is hosed.
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May 21, 2021 18:48
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Oh, that didn't stop them from wasting money. They paid someone a ton of money to write a custom program for project time tracking, and that never worked either. They also had a work order / maintenance program that was so loving ancient it used UNIX keyboard layout. I don't remember the specifics but certain keys did not actually do what they should.
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May 21, 2021 18:54
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Ugly In The Morning posted:If I read the word “stakeholder” one more time today I’m gonna have Stay Colder, dude. Chill.
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May 21, 2021 21:47
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Work: Please make sure you log your hours accurately. Please don't just put down 40 hours every week. Me: Logs 39.5 hours because I went offline thirty minutes early one day. Boss: You only logged 39.5 hours last week. Please fix it. Me: I was just trying to log my hours accurately. Boss: Yes, but you can't log fewer than forty hours.
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May 21, 2021 23:16
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Batterypowered7 posted:Work: Please make sure you log your hours accurately. Please don't just put down 40 hours every week. Your boss is telling you to take from him. Honor his wish
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May 21, 2021 23:21
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Boiled Water posted:Your boss is telling you to take from him. Honor his wish I'm salaried, so it's not like it would have made a difference to my paycheck, so whatever. Now I just toss in a random 30 minutes to an hour in there.
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May 21, 2021 23:33
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Ugly In The Morning posted:If I read the word “stakeholder” one more time today I’m gonna have a rage stroke. Stinkholder.
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May 22, 2021 00:58
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IT guy: Look at this awesome freeware I found! We can totally automate *task* with this! Me: Uh, you don’t want to automate that. Your system is so janky everyone has put customer notes in random fields. If you automate that, we’ll miss important notes like “Never ship to this guy, give it to the driver to bring” or “Customer doesn’t want it if it costs more than $80 to fix”. It guy: But think of all the time you’ll save! Me: If it worked, maybe 45 minutes, but- IT guy: But it’s so cool! It can even make mouse clicks for you! Me: But we’ll totally piss off half the customers. IT guy: This is great! Me: Can I go back to actual work now?
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May 22, 2021 02:07
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Domus posted:IT guy: Look at this awesome freeware I found! We can totally automate *task* with this! "Yeah wow that might be useful, I'll discuss it with my team." I had the day away from the computer and now I have about 4 hours worth of emailing to do. This is bullshit. Outrail fucked around with this message at 02:34 on May 22, 2021 |
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May 22, 2021 02:30
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Pulcinella posted:When I was a science teacher I would occasionally need to grab things from the district warehouse (e.g. telescopes that never made the transition from the old school building to the new for some reason and were left in storage). Nearly half the ware house was filled with incredibly outdated computers, monitors, and inkjet printers that we could never get rid of. The one time the district tried to have them disposed/recycled the local paper made a big stink of how the district was wasting taxpayer money and a bunch of angry people would show up to board meetings to yell about it. This brings back flashbacks of when I worked IT over a decade ago for a hospital. They never seemed to be able to get the budget we wanted/needed for any types of updates & fixes, so we had like an entire 1000 sq. ft. mezzanine area filled with old, outdated poo poo. We're talking old-rear end HP drum printers that by that point were already over a decade old, along with tons of old Dell desktops we kept for parts (most of the building was still using ancient OptiPlex GX 260/270 desktops that would poo poo the bed daily). I was actually glad I was on contract & didn't get brought in full time, especially after being in a couple company meetings & seeing their "plans" for IT in general. At least IT finally got somewhat of a budget by the time I left, but hilariously incompetent management meant that they were still buying used/refurb machines that were 4-5+ years old to replace the other trash.
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May 22, 2021 02:31
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Amazon can suck my dick from the back, I did the job of a site manager at my last job with their logistics stuff but can’t move up to site manager here because that would be a “diagonal promotion”. “Hire and develop the best” my rear end.
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May 22, 2021 03:39
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And the worst part is what I’m pissed most about is the fact my scope of work is reduced and it cuts my ability to reduce injury rates substantially. Nothing about hours or pay, it’s already poo poo there.
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May 22, 2021 03:44
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I thought Amazon’s whole philosophy was more along the lines of “create an artificial tier of low performers you can fire every quarter” than developing employees.
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May 22, 2021 03:44
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Tetramin posted:I thought Amazon’s whole philosophy was more along the lines of “create an artificial tier of low performers you can fire every quarter” than developing employees. In practice, yeah, but I don’t have to deal with that every day since I’m all about injury rates and you know, preventing that. I wanted a challenge and more than got it.
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May 22, 2021 03:46
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WTF#1 I took an SDET gig on site at Microsoft circa 2004 to work on Xbox doing internal certification stuff for 1st party games. Day 1: Team lead takes myself and 3 other new hires into a small office filled 6ft high with leftover corpses of PCs. He proceeds to tell us to build a work PC from this scrapheap for each of us to use... I'm the only one capable of doing so and the other 3 new hires are without a PC for 2 weeks, then are laid off without ever having touched a single document AT Microsoft. WTF#2 2001 I was hired to run QA for some PSX games being translated into English for a major Japanese game company. My English was superior to the translations given to us to check/test so I ended up rewriting over half the game through bug reports. WTF#3 2002 still doing QA and had to record all game footage 10+ hours a day onto VHS tapes and log bug reports on printed forms with video time stamps from the 50 or so VHS tapes on my desk, 20 staff all with equal stacks of tapes. Then one person would collect these hand written reports from everyone to input it into the ONE computer none us was allowed to touch. WTF#4 Worked for a tiny QA company across the street from Microsoft HQ, practically next door to Nintendo. It was in a warehouse building with a large rolling door that was more like a storage unit. Anyway one summer it got 120+ degrees in there and all the computers and several dozen Xbox developer kits fried from overheating. Costing this place tens of thousands of dollars to replace because AC costs too much and floor fans used too much power. loving L.O.L. Slayerjerman fucked around with this message at 08:38 on May 22, 2021 |
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May 22, 2021 08:31
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Domus posted:IT guy: Look at this awesome freeware I found! We can totally automate *task* with this! Let me guess; he learned about Macro Express and is now in want of a nail for his hammer?
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May 22, 2021 08:33
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WTF#5 Worked at a busy gas station in high-school in Oregon where you can't pump your own gas, I had to do it for you. Job wasn't hard or anything, but one super busy weekend I was the only attendant running the pumps, lots of customers paying cash. I'd run each sale inside to the cashier, whom was the boss's bitch rear end daughter. This oval office was supposedly putting the cash in the til and closing out each sale. End of the day Manager confronts me about pocketing nearly 2 grand in cash from sales and that whore said I stole it. I just stop and look at him in the eye, are you for real? I lost my poo poo jumped the counter and grabbed this bitch's purse from under the counter and we were shocked by how much cash she had stuffed in there from the entire day, it was exactly the amount missing from the til, go figure. I handed him the purse, said gently caress you and rage quit. For 3 days following they kept calling asking when I'm coming back to work. Turns out she was pocketing cash from other attendants. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 22, 2021 08:52
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WTF#6 2005 at a major video game development studio. Several offices are supplied power from several dozen daisy chained power strips ran down hallways and cheap as gently caress extension cords. Fire Marshall shows up and closes down the entire building from an anonymous tip from an ex-employee about how the breaker panel was jury rigged or something because building mgmt was too cheap to get a proper electrician to do the work. WTF#7 2007 at a small development studio as a producer for 3rd party licensed Nintendo DS games. Boss screaming profanity over the phone to our very large client (Disney) that he'll make games however the gently caress he wants. Queue next week getting several millions of dollars of development contracts canceled and 20 or more people laid off because dude went off his meds and his ego exploded over some minor change requests by the clients paying for everything. Funny enough I had already accepted an offer for a much better gig a week prior, so watching this place meltdown before my eyes was a real sight to behold.
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May 22, 2021 09:07
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WTF#8 Worked as an assistant manager for an apartment management company in college. I lived in complex A owned by them, but worked across town at complex B. One night I get a banging on my door, this complex's live-in manager all frantic and says she got a call asking to check on a resident down the hall from me. I say ok good luck, I'm off the clock. But after begging me, I go with her down the hall. Tldr; Dude overdosed and died on his couch, cops and coroner show up and remove his body just as this dude's family shows up to check on him. Following day, I'm told by mgmt to dump dead dude's poo poo out back by the dumpster, we need to turnaround the apartment for new tenants. I'm like what the gently caress?! We do so and of course most of the poo poo is taken that night. Family shows up day after next asking where his stuff is. Same management that had me turn over an apartment coated in black mold with just a single coat of Kilz then a layer of interior paint. WTF. I still can't fathom why I agreed to do it.
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May 22, 2021 09:24
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Some solid content there
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May 22, 2021 11:43
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Slayerjerman posted:WTF#8 I'm not sure I'd tell this particular story to other people, anymore, if I were you...
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May 22, 2021 12:00
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Here's my Agile Story: I'm a software developer with about 18 years of professional experience. We recently transitioned to Agile, here is my story. 1. If you were a lovely employee before the transition, you are likely fired by now. 2. If you were a project manager before, you're a scrum master now. 3. If you were a manager before , you're probably a product owner now or (gasp) a people leader. 4. If you were a software developer before, you're on the development team now. 5. If you were literally ANYTHING else , congrats , you're on the development team now. My development team consists of 6 people: 3 are castaways from previous roles , not surprisingly, none of them can write a for loop in JavaScript. 1 is an intern, very smart, got a comp sci degree, likely won't stay with the team after his rotation ends. Myself and 1 other (both comp sci degrees, senior developers). We are tasked with teaching the skillset. We basically pair up with the other employees to teach them and help them out. The whole thing is insane at times. We have a huge backlog of work and pressure to deliver , but we also have to pair up and ensure people learn. Half of the team can't write a for loop in JavaScript, and as one of 2 the senior developers in the group, we're supposed to teach these people when they have no interest in learning it themselves. So then we get into these situations where someone takes a Jira Card for a work item and has to be told EXACTLY how to do it by a senior developer, then they don't learn enough from it or don't struggle enough, so the next time something comes along, they haven't grown from It. Unless it's a very straightforward thing : it takes 10x as long as it should. And if it's writing new software (rather than just maintaining old stuff) the new dev team members are helpless. We keep getting castaways from other teams yet we never hire someone for the team that actually went to school for loving software development and management WONDERS why it takes new developers to come up to speed. Software development is easy right? Why aren't they learning faster? Why aren't you producing more? You realize your review is based upon how you develop these employees , right? 
WalletBeef fucked around with this message at 14:41 on May 22, 2021 |
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May 22, 2021 14:38
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WalletBeef posted:Here's my Agile Story: Bail.
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May 22, 2021 14:41
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WalletBeef posted:Here's my Agile Story: Are you polishing your cv to a mirror finish?
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May 22, 2021 14:57
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