[UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)

jarofpiss: May 16, 2009

A MIRACLE posted:

FOR READABILITY) It's hard to post this because of all the skepticism and criticism by so many who read posts others share about their encounters. Plus I suck at writing and I have major ADD/ADHD and staying focus and on point is very hard for me. So here's my story... I've had contact with these "Nordic beings" . If this story comes across as incoherent, rambling or scatter brained I apologize because again it's really hard to talk about and my nerves are ugh. Anyway, I'm Native American (Comanche/Kiowa/Choctaw) with some British and German mixed in for good measure. My dad is full blood Comanche/Kiowa.

Anyway, I had always heard stories from my family and tribal elders when I was young about the "beautiful people from the sky." One day I got a a call and was invited to go out to Anadarko, OK. with some tribal elders and spiritual leaders. All I can say is that when I saw these Nordic beings I couldn't believe it. I wasn't scared which is weird when I reflect on it. I couldn't believe they seemed to have a relationship with the people that I knew and loved. It was all so surreal. I had an experience when I was at a scout camp when I was 14 where I went missing for 12 hours. I had no memory then nor do I have any memory now of what happened for the 12 hours I went missing that night but I've always believed I was abducted because before I went missing I was watching this object in the sky doing incredible maneuvers. I wound up getting in so much trouble and was accused of playing a prank by the community and my mom's side of the family (they're 1/2 British 1/4 German and 1/4 Choctaw) but they have never really embraced their native heritage.

My disappearance was deemed to be a "prank" and that was what was reported in the news. To clarify, the news story had no mention of an abduction it was only about an eagle scout who had been missing for 12 hours. The criticism and accusations of being called a liar deeply affected me for many years. On my dad's side of the family we call my mom's side "tosa" because they embrace their white heritage and ignore their native heritage. Anyway, during the encounter in Anadarko my uncle said that I was the boy they took back in 86. My jaw dropped. Anyway, like I said it's hard to talk about because there's no way to prove it as it's just my word and I'm just some random guy on the internet that many people are going to diagnose as having mental health problems.

The thing that strikes me the most is how beautiful these beings were. There was an obvious male and female. They were very tall and had the most incredible eyes. Now I'm short (5'6) so everyone's tall to me but these two were at least 7' tall if not taller. The thing is, I've had many encounters since then but I've never experienced any with the typical grey aliens so many others have. Most of my encounters took place in the oceans. I don't live anywhere near the ocean, but that's were we go more times than not.

I think people need to take USO's more seriously. There may be other beings involved in other areas like space or deep earth, but I've not encountered any. Again I have no ability to prove what I'm about to claim but there's some malevolent beings about to make their presence known. I can also confirm that the paranormal is closely connected with these beings. Different dimensions is also a reality when it comes to this phenomenon. I don't know about time travel. I've never been made aware of time travel being real during any of my encounters. I know for a fact that not all abduction and encounters are good where people are given messages of peace and hope. So many people who've just disappeared and were never seen or heard from again are victims of these unfortunate encounters.

I wish more people accepted that those with abduction stories do have a lot of common characteristics. One being that many abductees seem to be gifted with abilities that some people describe as "psychic" phenomenon. My family lineage is that of what is commonly referred to as "medicine man". I've been taught about native medicine and spirituality since I was a boy as that is what my grandfather was and several great grandfather's before him and I later found out that that is why I was invited to Anadarko that day. My last name literally translates to "teepee by the water" because my ancestors were the spiritual leaders or "medicine men" and water is a major factor when practicing native medicine. People always say, why don't abductees have anymore proof than their words? I wonder if the people asking this ever realize how ridiculous that sounds. They don't give us souvenirs or group pics to show everyone. People thinking that an abductee can just take out their phone and snap a pic is just silly.

The only thing I have to validate my story is an article from the Lawton Constitution were I went missing because 2 basic training classes (Ft. Sill was close to the site), the Comanche county sheriff's department and tribal police along with bloodhounds were all out looking for me throughout the night. Not to mention all of the scout leaders and parents. They originally thought I had been attacked by a bear or a cougar. To be clear, there was no mention of an abduction or of the craft I claimed I saw in the news article. I don't want to embellish and make it seem as if that was reported. Even tho I was found unconscious next to a tree 50 yards from the campsite 12 hours after I went missing I was accused of hiding from everyone. That makes no sense because I would've obviously been found that close to the campsite with the amount of resources that were involved looking for me not to mention the dogs.

I also have proof of passing lie detector tests about my encounters after encouragement from my wife to get some answers and resolve some doubts I had been struggling with regarding these experiences. The most compelling thing I have was discovered in my left ankle after a compound fracture June 2020. There was some implant device in my left ankle. The doctors asked about any previous surgeries and what this was for. I had no answers as the only surgery I had had up to that point in my life was for an umbilical hernia and wisdom teeth extraction. Discovering that device answered so many questions tho.

Anyway, I truly believe our reality about humanity is about to fundamentally change in ways that people can't even begin to imagine. Another common thing about abductees is depression which I've struggled with my entire life. It mostly comes from "knowing things" (I know that sounds crazy) that people often refer to as psychic phenomenon. My grandmother (Kiowa) said it was a gift I was blessed with by our creator and that I've been given strong abilities. The thing is, I never asked for it and it's not such a great thing to have even tho there are frauds out there that capitalize on it by claiming they are "psychics" when in reality they're nothing more than con artist.

Fortunately, unlike many abductees (ie throwaway), I've managed to stay pretty grounded have have a pretty good life. I'm in the pet services industry and own a nice business in TX that employs 25 people. My wife is a very accomplished MD (psychiatrist) with 2 offices that employs 3 other doctors and 13 employees. We have 2 great and well adjusted children, each from a previous marriage. Anyway, thanks for giving me a forum to share my experiences. This honestly was pretty hard because the fear of talking about these events are real with real consequences. Throwaway's courage to come out really empowered me to begin to open up and share some of my experiences online.

Unlike him, I've never been told that a specific event was going to happen on a specific date. The only thing I'm basing my statement on regarding disclosure is from my own conclusions based on my own experiences along with many prophecies told by various tribes, tribal elders and spiritual leaders. For those of you who may feel the need to diagnose me with whatever mental illness they think I have I'd like to remind you that my wife is a psychiatrist and she asks that you please DM me what criteria you used to make your diagnosis.

Anyway, if you've read this far, thank you for taking the time. Again, it was so hard to post my story.

# ? Jun 1, 2021 19:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 20:45

PawParole: Nov 16, 2019

The pentagon just held a press meeting for 20 minutes and was absolutely closed lipped

# ? Jun 1, 2021 19:58

Bullfrog: Nov 5, 2012

i remember when playing xcom i always wondered why, if the aliens were a huge threat, the xcom program wasn't getting that much funding, and why countries would leave it at the drop of a hat. After covid I understand perfectly now

# ? Jun 1, 2021 23:10

gh0stpinballa: Mar 5, 2019

The Saucer Hovers posted:

its the best saucer podcast by a stretch. some interesting things come from chris knowles, gordon white, and to a lesser degree the gaggle over at Where Did the Road Go. mike clelland is alright but less saucer more...uh...owl.
lol

I think you're the one who actually recommended that to me ages ago, so thanks saucer hovers.

# ? Jun 1, 2021 23:32

gh0stpinballa: Mar 5, 2019

Communist Thoughts posted:

AI did my warcrimes

# ? Jun 2, 2021 00:51

Crusader: Apr 11, 2002

https://twitter.com/BryanDBender/status/1399862468260761602

politico person saying the dni report won't hit until the last possible second on june 25th

# ? Jun 2, 2021 00:54

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

i've never turned in a report three weeks early either

# ? Jun 2, 2021 00:55

Mola Yam: Jun 18, 2004; Kali Ma Shakti de!

whos the lucky intern who gets to pull an all-nighter on the 24th

# ? Jun 2, 2021 01:07

Gumball Gumption: Jan 7, 2012

Riot Bimbo posted:

The lie is that this is the first time it has happened.

lmao oh yeah good point

# ? Jun 2, 2021 01:24

SpaghettiShaq: Aug 24, 2004

https://old.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/nq854i/a_ufo_recorded_by_a_helicopter_pilot_over_the/

if this is a fake its very well done. reflection of the craft even produces lens flare in the camera

edit: nvm already got debunked

SpaghettiShaq has issued a correction as of 01:27 on Jun 2, 2021

# ? Jun 2, 2021 01:24

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

beltway gossip is everyone is filing for an extension :effort:

# ? Jun 2, 2021 01:28

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

Mola Yam posted:

whos the lucky intern who gets to pull an all-nighter on the 24th

In conclusion Lanulos is a land of contrasts.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 01:37

Delta-Wye: Sep 29, 2005

The Saucer Hovers posted:

beltway gossip is everyone is filing for an extension

how loving long can it take to grab a 8x11.5" piece of paper, a crayon in your choice of color, and scrawl "UFOS DON'T EXIST" on it? smdh spooky boys, get it together

# ? Jun 2, 2021 02:03

Bullfrog: Nov 5, 2012

intern popping an addy on june 24 like "gently caress, gotta bang out this report"

quote:

in conclusion, uaps are a land of contrasts,

# ? Jun 2, 2021 02:04

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

More press push in this explainer from WaPo:

quote:

Close encounters: Democrats and Republicans unified in taking UFOs seriously
By
Ashley Parker
June 1, 2021 at 3:30 a.m. MDT

In early April, former CIA director R. James Woolsey told Black Vault, a website that collects paranormal case files, that he is �not as skeptical as I was a few years ago, to put it mildly,� about UFOs, and that �something is going on that is surprising to a series of intelligent aircraft, experienced pilots.�

Speaking to CBS�s �60 Minutes� last month, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) said that while UFOs can still prompt a �giggle� from some lawmakers, �I don�t think we can let the stigma keep us from having an answer to a very fundamental question.�

And a day after Rubio�s comments aired, former president Barack Obama told CBS�s �The Late Late Show with James Corden� that �what is true � and I�m actually being serious here � is that there is footage and records of objects in the skies that we don�t know exactly what they are.�

UFOs � also known as unidentified aerial phenomena, or UAPs, in official parlance � are having their moment in politics, and a bipartisan one at that.

What lawmakers, White House officials have said about UFOs
From former president Barack Obama to Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), here's what lawmakers have said about UFOs in the past. (The Washington Post)
This month, President Biden�s director of national intelligence will release a report containing everything unclassified that the U.S. government knows about UAPs as part of a provision contained in former president Donald Trump�s pandemic relief package.

When the report lands, as early as this week, it will do so in a moment of rare agreement across the ideological spectrum that UAPs are worthy of further study. An increasing number of Democrats and Republicans � from former Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and former Democratic Senate leader Harry M. Reid to Fox News host Tucker Carlson � have expressed an openness to UAPs, urging the nation�s leaders to investigate the phenomenon.

�After this last year, it�s kind of nice to see something that�s bipartisan,� said Robert Powell, an executive board member of the Scientific Coalition for UAP Studies, a think tank of scientists examining UAPs.

And why now, exactly? �Because!� said former Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel, who served as Obama�s chief of staff. �It�s all speculative unknown, and a little sci-fi makes it intriguing.�

The government�s effort to better understand UAPs began in earnest in 2007 with Reid, then the Senate majority leader whose home state of Nevada includes Area 51 � the Air Force�s top-secret testing site that has long attracted UFO hunters. Reid privately approached Sens. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii) and Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) to request $22 million in Pentagon funding for a secret operation that became known as the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program.

The program, which no longer exists, studied UAPs, including encounters between UFOs and the nation�s military. Now a new government program, known as the Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon Task Force, has continued investigating UAPs.

�Let me be clear: I have never intended to prove that life beyond Earth exists,� Reid wrote in a New York Times op-ed on May 21. �But if science proves that it does, I have no problem with that.�

For years, UFOs remained a taboo topic, relegated to the fringe of society, and certainly of politics. But by 2015, while campaigning for president in New Hampshire, Clinton told the Conway Daily Sun she thought Earth might have already been visited by extraterrestrial life and pledged to �get to the bottom of it.�

The following year, Clinton�s interest in the phenomenon earned her a full story in the New York Times � �Hillary Clinton Gives U.F.O. Buffs Hope She Will Open the X-Files,� blared the headline. John Podesta, a noted UFO-phile and Clinton�s 2016 campaign chairman, told CNN�s Jake Tapper that if she won the White House, �she�ll ask for as many [UFO] records as the United States federal government has to be declassified, and I think that�s a commitment that she intends to keep and that I intend to hold her to.�

More recently, in addition to Woolsey, former CIA director John Brennan also expressed openness to UAPs, as did Carlson, who has devoted portions of his prime-time Fox News show to exploring the phenomenon.

After the �60 Minutes� segment on UFOs aired last month, Carlson said that the issue is �a very big problem� from a national security perspective, arguing that the military under Biden is focusing on the wrong priorities.

�UFOs, it turns out, are real, and whatever else they are, they�re a prima facie challenge to the United States military,� Carlson said. �They�re doing things the U.S. military does not allow, and they�re doing it with impunity.�

Trump told ABC News�s George Stephanopoulos in 2019 that he did �not particularly� believe in UFOs. But he was more coy about the topic when asked by his eldest son, during an interview for his 2020 campaign, to share some details about a 1947 incident in Roswell, N.M., that holds outsize significance among UFO believers.

�I won�t talk to you about what I know about it, but it�s very interesting,� Trump said.

UAPs � once considered the ur-conspiracy theory � have emerged as a topic deemed deserving of serious investigation at a moment when misinformation, disinformation and conspiracy theories reign supreme.

Huge swaths of the country are divided on basic facts � like who actually won the 2020 presidential election (Biden) � while the two political parties can�t even agree on a definition for what constitutes �infrastructure.� Yet when it comes to UAPs, there is emerging bipartisan and mainstream consensus that, as the �X Files� famously popularized, �The truth is out there.�

Christopher Mellon, a former intelligence official at the Defense Department and the Senate Intelligence Committee who has worked to push UAPs into mainstream discourse, said there were two major turning points recently: a December 2017 New York Times article in which the Pentagon admitted the existence of its program to study UFOs and public interviews with members of the military talking about their personal encounters with UFOs.

The �60 Minutes� segment, for instance, featured interviews with Cmdr. Dave Fravor and Lt. Cmdr. Alex Dietrich, two former Navy F/A-18F pilots, offering their firsthand account of a 2004 incident over the Pacific Ocean southwest of San Diego, where they say they encountered and tried to engage with �this little white Tic-Tac-looking object,� as Fravor described it.

�Coming from the U.S. military � that�s the one institution in our government that everybody still supports and the one institution in our government that everybody still trusts,� Mellon said.

But, he added, the turning point came when the U.S. government formally acknowledged that the UAP videos were authentic and that the phenomenon was real.

For some Navy pilots, UFO sightings were an ordinary event

Adam Jentleson, a former top aide to Reid in the Senate, said that as the country moves its faith away from institutions, a growing openness to the paranormal makes sense � even if it is taking the unlikely form of bipartisanship toward UAPs.

�I can�t tell if this bodes well or ill for the direction of our democracy, but there�s certainly some irony around the fact that we can define bipartisanship around what used to be conspiracy theories,� Jentleson said. �Maybe the lesson is that we are expanding our imaginations and the full range of things that are possible. The possibilities of what the future may hold may be beyond the bounds of what a worldview circumscribed by norms can envision.�

Powell said the media�s depiction of UAPs has also evolved. �Most of the time in the past when the media highlighted what was then called a UFO-type incident, they really were highlighting a person who was really a little bit wacky and they were trying to get ratings.�

He pointed to Dennis J. Kucinich, the former Democratic congressman from Ohio, who was mocked during a 2008 Democratic presidential primary debate after being asked about a book by actress Shirley MacLaine, who wrote that Kucinich had seen a UFO while visiting MacLaine in Washington state and found the experience very moving.

�It was an unidentified flying object, okay?� Kucinich said when asked about the account. �It�s like, it�s unidentified. I saw something.�

But now, �this subject today is considered seriously by a lot of scientists,� Powell said.

After Obama expressed his openness to UAPs last month, Fox News�s Peter Doocy recounted the former president�s comments to Biden, and asked him what he thought. �I would ask him again,� Biden said, to laughter, brushing off the question.

In a White House briefing last week, press secretary Jen Psaki offered a more serious response to a question on the UAP report, saying, �We take reports of incursions into our airspace by any aircraft, identified or unidentified, very seriously and investigate each one.�

Administration officials are unlikely to weigh in further on UAPs until the report�s release, a White House official said. This person added that Vice President Harris, in her role as head of the administration�s National Space Council, is also likely to be briefed on the findings before they are released.

Thanks to Trump-era covid relief bill, a UFO report may soon be public

The interest in UFOs shows how the extremes of the ideological spectrum can end up closer to each other than to any political center � not unlike the two prongs of a horseshoe.

�It�s like who was the viewership of the �X Files� in the 90s?� Jentleson said. �If you saw someone walking down the street wearing an �X Files� shirt, it was a coin flip as to whether they were going to be a hard-right conspiracy theorist or a hard-left conspiracy theorist.�

The idea of UAPs, he added, �unites conspiracy theorists of all ideological stripes,� born out of a shared �distrust of government and authority.�

A 2019 Gallup poll found that 33 percent of adults said they think some UFOs have been alien spacecraft visiting Earth from other planets or galaxies, while 60 percent said all sightings can be explained by human activity or natural phenomenon. The belief was largely bipartisan, with 32 percent of Democrats, 30 percent of Republicans and 38 percent of independents saying some UFOs have been alien spacecraft visiting Earth.

Both the Gallup poll and a more recent CBS News poll from this year found skepticism of the U.S. government�s handling of information on the issue. The 2021 CBS poll found 73 percent saying the U.S. government �knows more about UFOs than it is telling the general public,� as did 68 percent in the 2019 Gallup poll.

Steve Bassett is a registered lobbyist, political activist and �Disclosure� advocate � someone who pushes for the formal acknowledgment by heads of state of an extraterrestrial presence engaging with the human race. He argues that being more forthcoming about UAPs will serve to strengthen the credibility of the evidence and the government itself.

�The American people may hear from their government the biggest truth, ever relayed, in a formal way to the human race,� Bassett said. �Now if you�re going to start truth-telling, to regain trust, why not start with a big one?�

# ? Jun 2, 2021 02:25

Delta-Wye: Sep 29, 2005

tfa posted:

�It�s like who was the viewership of the �X Files� in the 90s?� Jentleson said. �If you saw someone walking down the street wearing an �X Files� shirt, it was a coin flip as to whether they were going to be a hard-right conspiracy theorist or a hard-left conspiracy theorist.�

it turns out the unidentified objects were flying horseshoes all along, who knew?

# ? Jun 2, 2021 02:31

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

We will receive the report at the last possible minute of the stated deadline at the earliest

It will probably be a dry nothing with not much of value too lol

# ? Jun 2, 2021 04:25

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

I don't know why anyone expects it to say anything more than what's currently out there: that they're real, they do bonkers poo poo, they're not ours*, and we don't know who is operating them

*totes for sure, we checked around and no one knows anything about them

# ? Jun 2, 2021 04:49

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

whatever man im finally getting to go to space camp

# ? Jun 2, 2021 05:04

Ratios and Tendency: Apr 23, 2010; MURALI

I think we need to start talking seriously about goon-funding a civilian radar project in Southern California.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 07:54

A MIRACLE: Sep 17, 2007; All right. It's Saturday night; I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix-tape... Let's rock.

I�m down can we do it in koreatown tho

# ? Jun 2, 2021 07:57

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

i am going to dedicate myself to goatseing the night sky each night

# ? Jun 2, 2021 07:58

Zisky: May 6, 2003; PM me and I will show you my tits

A MIRACLE posted:

I’m down can we do it in koreatown tho

Stumbling from Max Karaoke to the roof of the Galleria to check the radar.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 08:32

Lampsacus: Oct 21, 2008

Can I just say, I love how many local news* outlets in America have a reporter who is obviously personally into UFO/aliens and has taken it upon themselves to report on each bread crumb of these video releases. Examples include Saagar Enjeti https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWRHPPtPAZY, Richard Southernhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBVj3ohMD8 and Daniel Arkin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx6qhoJ1XLc

* (I know they are all owned by the same companies)

# ? Jun 2, 2021 08:36

strange feelings re Daisy: Aug 2, 2000

Ufologists like George Knapp and Nick Pope are also getting interviewed on national news networks and it rules. It's a trip seeing a guy I mostly knew from Coast-to-Coast discussing UFOs on CNN.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 09:00

Lampsacus: Oct 21, 2008

strange feelings re Daisy posted:

Ufologists like George Knapp and Nick Pope are also getting interviewed on national news networks and it rules. It's a trip seeing a guy I mostly knew from Coast-to-Coast discussing UFOs on CNN.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeTgiOfbWn8

# ? Jun 2, 2021 09:29

munce: Oct 23, 2010

Ratios and Tendency posted:

I think we need to start talking seriously about goon-funding a civilian radar project in Southern California.

I reckon if people actually started looking properly they'd see some stuff.

Reminds me of the guy who was going to send up a cubesat to look for ufos- Just looking it up now it was 2016 and he raised his target $10k. Doesn't seem to say what happened after that..
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1889966504/cubesat-for-disclosure

Or some kind of distributed camera network could work too, for a low price. Like this one they use to track meteorites:
http://fireballsinthesky.com.au/
https://dfn.gfo.rocks/

# ? Jun 2, 2021 10:08

Butternubs: Feb 15, 2012

There is no good evidence that UAPs are extra-terrestrial, I too want to gently caress ET but the leaps of faith people are taking towards any of these second hand stories and lovely radar footage being ALF is silly.

people have been seeing ghosts since medieval times, does that make them real too?

Every night I draw a pentagram around my dick and yet no ghost has sucked me off. Debunked!

# ? Jun 2, 2021 13:04

Hatebag: Jun 17, 2008

Bilirubin posted:

More press push in this explainer from WaPo:

John Podesta, a noted UFO-phile

# ? Jun 2, 2021 14:54

Delta-Wye: Sep 29, 2005

Lampsacus posted:

Can I just say, I love how many local news* outlets in America have a reporter who is obviously personally into UFO/aliens and has taken it upon themselves to report on each bread crumb of these video releases. Examples include Saagar Enjeti https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWRHPPtPAZY, Richard Southernhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBVj3ohMD8 and Daniel Arkin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx6qhoJ1XLc

* (I know they are all owned by the same companies)

At least one of those had been fired recently :laugh:

# ? Jun 2, 2021 15:25

TeenageArchipelago: Jul 23, 2013

Hatebag posted:

John Podesta, a noted UFO-phile

I mean Podesta is certainly a type of phile whose obsessed with abductions

# ? Jun 2, 2021 15:57

Inspector Hound: Jul 14, 2003

Butternubs posted:

There is no good evidence that UAPs are extra-terrestrial, I too want to gently caress ET but the leaps of faith people are taking towards any of these second hand stories and lovely radar footage being ALF is silly.

people have been seeing ghosts since medieval times, does that make them real too?

Every night I draw a pentagram around my dick and yet no ghost has sucked me off. Debunked!

Apparently carbon monoxide is ghosts, it leaks for natural and man made reasons all over and out makes people paranoid and gives them hallucinations and sleep disturbances. So it really was a vaporous presence the whole time, invisible, sinister, everywhere and nowhere all at once

I hope it's holograms just as much as I hope it's aliens, I want holodecks

# ? Jun 2, 2021 15:57

Think Less: Dec 29, 2016

Butternubs posted:

There is no good evidence that UAPs are extra-terrestrial, I too want to gently caress ET but the leaps of faith people are taking towards any of these second hand stories and lovely radar footage being ALF is silly.

people have been seeing ghosts since medieval times, does that make them real too?

Every night I draw a pentagram around my dick and yet no ghost has sucked me off. Debunked!

A pentagram around your dick keeps the ghosts away. It's for your protection

# ? Jun 2, 2021 16:01

Butternubs: Feb 15, 2012

Think Less posted:

A pentagram around your dick keeps the ghosts away. It's for your protection

Guess I'll have to try something else, maybe anointing myself with unholy water (piss)

# ? Jun 2, 2021 16:08

Delta-Wye: Sep 29, 2005

Butternubs posted:

There is no good evidence that UAPs are extra-terrestrial, I too want to gently caress ET but the leaps of faith people are taking towards any of these second hand stories and lovely radar footage being ALF is silly.

people have been seeing ghosts since medieval times, does that make them real too?

Every night I draw a pentagram around my dick and yet no ghost has sucked me off. Debunked!

yes, duh, ofc. you have a big ol smooth brain, congrats on figuring it out.

so now that you know UAPs are bogus, why is the NYT carrying a bogus story in 2017? why is the media at large supporting such a silly story now? why is this counterintel guy fieri wannabe out talking about crazy poo poo and people are taking him seriously? apply your big ol smart noggin of yours and help me tease out a solution here too, please

# ? Jun 2, 2021 16:58

a few DRUNK BONERS: Mar 25, 2016

Delta-Wye posted:

yes, duh, ofc. you have a big ol smooth brain, congrats on figuring it out.

so now that you know UAPs are bogus, why is the NYT carrying a bogus story in 2017? why is the media at large supporting such a silly story now? why is this counterintel guy fieri wannabe out talking about crazy poo poo and people are taking him seriously? apply your big ol smart noggin of yours and help me tease out a solution here too, please

The brains of the people that run the NYT and the cia and all of the ruling class have rotted due to hypercapitalism and now they see aliens and russian death rays everywhere they look

# ? Jun 2, 2021 17:06

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

If it helps them sleep soundly at night to think that it's all swamp gas, balloons, and mass hysteria, more power to them.

It will still never not be funny that they're engaging in the same "this is technically plausible so it must be the only possible explanation" that wide-eyed true believers do when they see a pinprick of light in the sky and scream extraterrestrial.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 17:07

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

i watched a lot of south park so i think the truth is in the middle, the alien UFOs are powered by weather balloons full of swamp gas

also bigfoot is just a guy in a costume except he can travel between dimensions and across time, think doctor who in a fursuit

# ? Jun 2, 2021 17:12

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

alien ships show up as airplanes, balloons and birds on camera because that's how their cloaking device disguises them and ghosts are real but they only ever haunt houses with carbon monoxide leaks

# ? Jun 2, 2021 17:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 20:45

gh0stpinballa: Mar 5, 2019

TeenageArchipelago posted:

I mean Podesta is certainly a type of phile whose obsessed with abductions

# ? Jun 2, 2021 17:37

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

«‹›2519 »