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Josherino)
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They sure as hell didn't "work in good faith" toward your success. And they expect you to report medical emergencies in advance? They made it clear that they have no intention of working with you on reasonable accommodations, and they put it in writing. I would hold onto a copy of that document. I hope someone more knowledgeable weighs in. You may want to talk to a lawyer. I'm sorry they're putting you through this. Do you have family or friends you can spend time with? There's the goonbux thread here: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3903318
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May 28, 2021 01:20
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Ball Tazeman posted:I had a meeting with my boss about coming back from medical leave and was blindsided by my two other managers coming in with him, staring me down and presenting a paper for me to sign that I will “not cause disruptions, show up for all my scheduled shift in full, finish my work on time” etc. It was so cold. I was expecting them to greet me and ask how I was doing but instead was given a sterile “can you hack it?” talk. I cried because, well, it sucked and they told me that was a sign that I wasn’t ready to work and can’t take criticism. Then they all walked away and I cried in my car in the parking lot. Just a spot-on way to approach an employee who went through a mental health crisis. I just don’t want to even work there anymore but there’s no other jobs around here that I could qualify for. I have a mortgage now, so I HAVE to go back to work sooner than later. I’m hosed and honestly, this just set me back to where I was before. That's super hosed up. Are you American? Labor protections here are bunk obviously, but if you qualify signing up for FMLA protection may be worthwhile. IANAL but them presenting you with a document saying you promise to do X, Y, and Z coming back after an absence sure seems like they're not exactly in your corner and id personally be looking for a way to get my bases covered. im sorry this is impacting your health and it sure seems hosed up to this outside observer
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May 28, 2021 01:36
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Ball Tazeman posted:I had a meeting with my boss about coming back from medical leave and was blindsided by my two other managers coming in with him, staring me down and presenting a paper for me to sign that I will “not cause disruptions, show up for all my scheduled shift in full, finish my work on time” etc. It was so cold. I was expecting them to greet me and ask how I was doing but instead was given a sterile “can you hack it?” talk. I cried because, well, it sucked and they told me that was a sign that I wasn’t ready to work and can’t take criticism. Then they all walked away and I cried in my car in the parking lot. Just a spot-on way to approach an employee who went through a mental health crisis. I just don’t want to even work there anymore but there’s no other jobs around here that I could qualify for. I have a mortgage now, so I HAVE to go back to work sooner than later. I’m hosed and honestly, this just set me back to where I was before. I know things like this can be extremely discouraging and downright upsetting. I don't want this to come across as an "easier said than done" kind of situation - but don't give up. There are folks here who are always willing to hear you out if you've got to swallow what you're experiencing throughout the workday.
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May 28, 2021 01:44
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Thank you everybody for the support. I really need it. This thread is very important and I appreciate you all. To clarify, at the end of the meeting all three of my bosses deemed me unfit to work for crying after being handed that weird agreement. So now I’m in limbo where the owner needs to “get help from his business partner on what to do in this situation.” and will not decide in if I am able to work until after the weekend, which quite frankly, isn’t his call. I’m also upset with how many people he had now disclosed this to. My mother, who in the past has been pretty manipulative and is a huge chud, stepped up and made a list of ADA stuff to look at with me. She has really made an effort to understand and help me through this, and if there is anything good that has come from all of this, it’s that she finally is showing me that she cares about me.
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May 28, 2021 01:59
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I would definitely talk to a lawyer. Seems hosed up to me. Imagine them making someone sign something like that after they missed work for a non mental related health crisis. It's ridiculous. I hope you have a case against them because they seem awful.
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May 28, 2021 02:15
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Dixville posted:I would definitely talk to a lawyer. Seems hosed up to me. Imagine them making someone sign something like that after they missed work for a non mental related health crisis. It's ridiculous. I hope you have a case against them because they seem awful. Agreed - especially regarding the disclosure to other employees. That's downright loving wrong.
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May 28, 2021 02:26
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yeah my wife got a call from occupational health today related to her positive covid diagnosis last week. she is still symptomatic and her managers wanted to make sure she *really* couldn't come to work (at an emergency room, as a nurse) because they were short handed. that was uncomfortable and invasive to her. i couldn't imagine being sat down, out numbered, after coming back to work following a health crisis and not being upset or crying after having been ambushed like that with a document agreeing to their terms without any opportunity to review them. i don't know what you do for work ball tazeman, but it is tough to imagine a scenario where that'd be kosher short of running a nuclear power plant by yourself or as a child juggler at the edge of the grand canyon
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May 28, 2021 02:45
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lol I’m a pastry chef. My boss forced me to take paid medical leave after I had cried in front of my coworkers and I admitted to one of my managers that I was suicidal. He claimed to be doing this out of kindness and genuinely wanted to see me get better, but that loving agreement makes me think he just wants an excuse to fire me without being an ADA discrimination. It’s so weird, they have always been empathetic and understanding. They have let others take mental health days without notice before so I don’t see why this is a special case that needs to involve so many people and have paperwork.
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May 28, 2021 03:15
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I was in the goon support discord but accidentally left when I was leaving a bunch of servers I didn't participate on. Can anyone PM me the invite so I can rejoin you? Also, just over 3 weeks ago I quit drinking and got professional help. A week of Detox and a few weeks into an outpatient rehab program, I'm feeling better than I have in years and am nothing but positive and optimistic looking forward. If anyone wants to chat in this thread, via DM, or elsewhere regarding overcoming addiction, I've gone from ~20 years of drinking moderately, to heavily, to excessively, to completely sober, and while I'm still on the recovery path I feel really good and optimistic and would be happy to give some advice and every kind of reassurance to anyone who has been through the same thing and needs someone to talk to.
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May 28, 2021 03:24
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Ball Tazeman posted:I had a meeting with my boss about coming back from medical leave and was blindsided by my two other managers coming in with him, staring me down and presenting a paper for me to sign that I will “not cause disruptions, show up for all my scheduled shift in full, finish my work on time” etc. It was so cold. I was expecting them to greet me and ask how I was doing but instead was given a sterile “can you hack it?” talk. I cried because, well, it sucked and they told me that was a sign that I wasn’t ready to work and can’t take criticism. Then they all walked away and I cried in my car in the parking lot. Just a spot-on way to approach an employee who went through a mental health crisis. I just don’t want to even work there anymore but there’s no other jobs around here that I could qualify for. I have a mortgage now, so I HAVE to go back to work sooner than later. I’m hosed and honestly, this just set me back to where I was before. Sue them. IANAL (lol) but that's a violation of the ADA in my opinion. I would see a lawyer's advice on this one if it were me.
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May 28, 2021 16:36
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Hey all, would it be possible to get on the support discord? I know I don't post in this thread often, I think I might feel more comfortable posting somewhere a little less public though.
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May 28, 2021 16:44
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ricecult posted:Hey all, would it be possible to get on the support discord? I know I don't post in this thread often, I think I might feel more comfortable posting somewhere a little less public though.  not feeling so well.
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May 28, 2021 16:51
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Ball Tazeman posted:lol I’m a pastry chef. I think if I were in your shoes, I'd feel the same way and lean towards that catastrophic thinking you know? What I've noticed as of late is that a lot of employers seem to be making extreme knee-jerk reactions to folks who may express SI, or need those mental health days. P.S. I think it's pretty bad rear end that you're a pastry chef, so I may need some recipes or tips DM'd soon.
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May 28, 2021 22:08
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Ball Tazeman posted:I had a meeting with my boss about coming back from medical leave and was blindsided by my two other managers coming in with him, staring me down and presenting a paper for me to sign that I will “not cause disruptions, show up for all my scheduled shift in full, finish my work on time” etc. It was so cold. I was expecting them to greet me and ask how I was doing but instead was given a sterile “can you hack it?” talk. I cried because, well, it sucked and they told me that was a sign that I wasn’t ready to work and can’t take criticism. Then they all walked away and I cried in my car in the parking lot. Just a spot-on way to approach an employee who went through a mental health crisis. I just don’t want to even work there anymore but there’s no other jobs around here that I could qualify for. I have a mortgage now, so I HAVE to go back to work sooner than later. I’m hosed and honestly, this just set me back to where I was before. It sounds like life is challenging you right now. I was in a work environment where I had an immediate supervisor who was a misogynist, racist, and transphobe. He showed his rear end at work in speaking with a trans person in truly degrading ways. I took this all to HR, they removed him from the schedule and seemingly fired him. Then five days later he returned after having spoken with the owner, with a half-assed apology and a "let's get back to work as if everything is okay" attitude. I walked out right then. I refuse to work for a company that disrespects their people. Plain and simple. Am I struggling right now? Yes. But I know that I'm making a better foundation for myself by not allowing others to trample on me because of their lack of growth. The time in-between that job and the next is difficult but I have learned so much about myself in that time.
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May 29, 2021 00:19
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My therapist just very quietly told me I might have undiagnosed autism, what do you guys think?
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May 29, 2021 23:45
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Totally possible, especially if you were a really quiet kid, moreso if you were/are a girl. How are you feeling about it?
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May 30, 2021 00:24
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:My therapist just very quietly told me I might have undiagnosed autism, what do you guys think? i mean i'm not gonna try to diagnose you from your posting but i don't think it's something to be anxious or offended about. if you are then nothing about it is stuff you aren't already dealing with, just, now you know i was diagnosed at 24 and the more i learned about e.g. sensory overload or executive dysfunction the more i was able to mitigate their effects or plan around them, not to mention not feeling pointlessly guilty for things that are biological conditions and not personality traits
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May 30, 2021 01:57
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(That really happened but I’m mostly making a joke about my posting reputation) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 30, 2021 02:03
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No response from my employer regarding talking in a better setting. After 2 days of melting down, filled out ten applications yesterday and my therapist is going to try to find me an ADA advocate. My other option is to go back to internet SW but I think that’s just too much stress for very little reward. Been using this time work on the house (I keep all that to an HCH thread. If you want to see how far the house has come you should look at it) and I think I really want to start my podcast up again and also put some of my pastry work out there (blog/insta/whatever) since I’m an out of work pastry chef with no outlet. It might just help keep me sharp and busy. This thread has really helped me survive this. Thanks for caring goons.
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May 30, 2021 19:28
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Ball Tazeman posted:This thread has really helped me survive this. Thanks for caring goons. Right back atcha.  
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May 31, 2021 07:45
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I am unable to feel self forgiveness. I know how to sustain only the feelings as having been negatively judged, even if I don't consciously feel that, if that makes sense. I engage in a series of activities any outside observer would classify as masochistic. I starve myself for long periods of time, isolate myself from my support groups in a number of ways, either by going out of my way to spend substantial time alone or feeling unable to share myself in the company of my friends and family, and self harm when I feel angry at myself for being alive. When I do express myself, it's always in this intensity that I've felt stuck in since going through a relatively minor traumatic experience 2 years ago. I feel no real pleasure from these things, just a false relief. I am stuck in this spiral of doing things only someone who feels like me would do, and I am unable to imagine anything else for myself. I am trapped in someone that doesn't know how to do, say or pursue what they want, and at 31 I feel like it's too late to change anything. Any other turning point in my life has brought me back to the same place, where my brain has been able to gain nothing from the experience. I feel convinced the only thing I can do is lie to myself, and the only thing I deserve is to break trust in others, even though I haven't lied to others in years, I think. This is what feels like my unconscious is wired to do, to give myself this inescapable fate with no way out.
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May 31, 2021 12:39
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Months go by of me panicking and shaming myself for being unemployed, and the moment I get exactly one interview take home assignment I go into immediate self-sabotage mode. I know I'm afraid of being back around people and office environments again, and of course there's that sweet fear of failure, but I'm almost impressed by the sheer level of it. Edit: gently caress I can't stop crying about the thought of going back. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I'm so scared that this time will be the one that kills me. I have so little left to give anymore, and so little left for them to take. Sanguinary Novel has issued a correction as of 23:52 on May 31, 2021 |
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May 31, 2021 22:13
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Ball Tazeman posted:No response from my employer regarding talking in a better setting. After 2 days of melting down, filled out ten applications yesterday and my therapist is going to try to find me an ADA advocate. My other option is to go back to internet SW but I think that’s just too much stress for very little reward. Finally able to check in here - I like that idea regarding the pastry work, even the podcast. This may be the break you've needed to really put yourself out there. I know the work situation has been overly frustrating, but we believe in you.
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Jun 1, 2021 15:28
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Months go by of me panicking and shaming myself for being unemployed, and the moment I get exactly one interview take home assignment I go into immediate self-sabotage mode. I know I'm afraid of being back around people and office environments again, and of course there's that sweet fear of failure, but I'm almost impressed by the sheer level of it. The hardest thing i've ever learned to do is forgive myself for not meeting my own or others expectations and I still have a hard time with it. It's easy to enjoy the initial positive feelings from deciding to change and planning your goals but the body hates change and will do anything resist; including making you feel even worse to convince you to stay the same and remind you of the reasons you've come to believe you should feel the way you always have, and thus you experience a crash upon attempting the actual change. It's important to remember that your body shouldn't determine how your mind feels and it takes time to reprogram your body's chemical responses to match your intentions; the way your body is reacting is proof that you are attempting real change and how you feel now will only go away if you can convince your body-mind to give you back control and dictate the changes that are best for both of you. not sure if this helps but it took me a long time to realize and it helped me a lot.
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Jun 1, 2021 21:18
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Seatbelts posted:The hardest thing i've ever learned to do is forgive myself for not meeting my own or others expectations and I still have a hard time with it. Kinda, yeah. I've been trying to identify and honor my emotions and instincts instead of just burying it and hoping to forget. The downside is, like you described, my body's chemical responses are still there and are doing everything they can to get me to run away. It sucks having to balance that fear of being exploited in a lovely system VS you know, eating and paying rent.
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Jun 1, 2021 21:51
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hello mental health thread, I have discovered that one of my meds was transforming me into a ball of white-hot unyielding rage I discovered this by trying to figure out why the heck I was getting angrier and angrier every day for months then digging into side effects for the meds i'm taking, followed by cold-turkey discontinuation of the one with big red "this can cause severe agitation" flags without talking to my psychiatrist it's been a couple of weeks now and i've calmed down considerably, but how do I tell him that I did this without being fired as a patient? I have an appointment in like a month but I feel like I should probably give him a call sooner
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Jun 2, 2021 05:38
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I personally have no experience with getting fired but I would call ASAP and just get it over with. easier said than done, I know. I'm sitting on like 3 phone calls I need to make. but all my docs have usually been very receptive to feedback on side effects and alternatives. they don't want you to turn into a rage elemental
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Jun 2, 2021 05:42
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blatman posted:hello mental health thread, I have discovered that one of my meds was transforming me into a ball of white-hot unyielding rage I mean any psych that fires you as a patient is an rear end in a top hat, but I personally think it is better to tell them as soon as you noticed this and not unload on them at the next session. That way they can research on what they might replace what you were taking.
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Jun 2, 2021 05:43
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ty goons i will phone in the morning i've never been fired by a psych before but i've heard it can happen, my concerns are being amplified by a combination of the anxiety the medication gave me + the anxiety that discontinuing the medication is giving me
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Jun 2, 2021 05:46
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I can guarantee that you are not their first patient who did not take their meds as directed. It's not something new to them and they should handle it with professionalism. I mean they may be upset you didn't trust them to tell them earlier, but they will understand.
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Jun 2, 2021 05:49
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Kinda, yeah. I've been trying to identify and honor my emotions and instincts instead of just burying it and hoping to forget. The downside is, like you described, my body's chemical responses are still there and are doing everything they can to get me to run away. It sucks having to balance that fear of being exploited in a lovely system VS you know, eating and paying rent. The body's chemical responses are a result of regularity and its common to hyper-fixate on problems in your exterior environment putting your brain in a fight or flight state; this doesn't stop when you distract yourself, meaning you spend increasing amounts of time in this high alert mode of brain function and the body won't accept new instructions on how to feel; it will leave you emotionally exhausted because your brain and body aren't relaxing properly anymore. After a couple months of this your body-mind will think this is how you want to feel and it will defend this balance. If you think about something that makes you excited or happy or whatever you just controlled your body to make you feel that way but its even more literal than that; how you feel has a huge impact on your health and when you feel anxious or angry or that sort of thing; you controlled you body to do that too. This doesn't make the things that stress us out less valid but it provides a path to potentially changing the way the body reacts to these stimulations, the first step is finding a way to put your brain into rest and relax mode; this is easier when you are tired. Lots of people meditate to trigger this state.
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Jun 2, 2021 06:32
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I didn’t even realize you could be fired as a patient for discontinuing medication. I’ve done that with a handful of antidepressants and my psych’s response has always just been “okay cool that one didn’t work, but call next time you experience side effects” Hopefully they are just as chill about it.
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Jun 2, 2021 06:50
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my father-in-law got dropped as a pain clinic patient because he didn't piss hot for opioids lol. take your meds or the doctors may kick you to the curb can't wait to babysit him for a week this month 🤗
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Jun 2, 2021 07:24
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Eat This Glob posted:my father-in-law got dropped as a pain clinic patient because he didn't piss hot for opioids lol. take your meds or the doctors may kick you to the curb That's a bit different, they have strict rules on how they give out opioids and if you don't follow to the letter you can get them in trouble, so they bounce ya.
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Jun 2, 2021 07:27
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blatman posted:hello mental health thread, I have discovered that one of my meds was transforming me into a ball of white-hot unyielding rage They would like for you to talk with them before you stop taking your meds, but having to deal with people who do so without talking with them is incredibly routine. I very much doubt you'll be "fired", but the sooner you talk to your therapist the better, for both you and them.
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Jun 2, 2021 09:41
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blatman posted:hello mental health thread, I have discovered that one of my meds was transforming me into a ball of white-hot unyielding rage Went off a medication in a similar way recently. Noticed a positive change after I stopped taking it for a couple days. I set up an appointment with my psych, basically told them the decision I had made and why and my psychiatrist was immediately supportive. I think a heads up is a good idea but hopefully youve established a relationship where you wouldnt get fired or something. I did feel a bit guilty for a while though i feel that
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Jun 2, 2021 09:44
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I have two interviews lined up! One is for an account rep at an insurance agency, the other is for a clerical aide for a hospice company. I really hate doing sales stuff, but the pay is better than the clerical job. Either way, a job is a job. I just really hope I don’t end up with one that mentally ruins me for relatively weak pay. Currently my partner is struggling as he’s dealing with the awkwardness of having to still work at the place that I’m technically still/but not really employed. I’m debating if I should burn that bridge and cause fallout with him by putting in an ADA complaint when I leave. edit: lol my boss just texted me inviting me back to work. I guess dropping the word “discriminatory” in my last message requesting a return to work changed his tune. So now what the he’ll do I do? I guess I’ll go back but keep looking. Ball Tazeman has issued a correction as of 19:19 on Jun 2, 2021 |
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Jun 2, 2021 18:05
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perepelki has issued a correction as of 06:04 on Jul 28, 2023 |
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Jun 2, 2021 18:06
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blatman posted:hello mental health thread, I have discovered that one of my meds was transforming me into a ball of white-hot unyielding rage A doctor is a service provider. They should never ever ever refuse to continue to see you as a patient (imo). I would think doing so is a violation of the Hippocratic Oath.
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Jun 2, 2021 22:07
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I mean if I am being honest, I have been fired from a psych before. But that was due to me missing four scheduled appointments in a row.
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Jun 2, 2021 22:12
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