Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

Zamujasa: Oct 27, 2010; Bread Liar

SYSV Fanfic posted:

I'm developing an ever deeper understanding of the community around crypto. When someone says they work in finance it means they work at the credit desk of a car dealership or for a pay day lender.

Also, the ad I'm getting for this thread is for:
https://guhtoken.org/

It can't be this stupid, so I'm probably explaining it wrong, but from the whitepaper it sounds like it's just dividing the amount of token people have by some arbitrary value, but not in a way that changes how much actual currency someone has -- literally just what it looks like.

e.g there are 5 GUH tokens, and you have two of them

1 GUH = $1000
smart contract goes "number must go up; thus, 1 GUH is actually 0.5 GUH now"

there are now 2.5 GUH tokens total, and you have 1 of them. your actual amount relative to how much exists doesn't change; you still have 40% of it.

but now since there's half as much, the theory is that

1 GUH = $2000

maybe it is that stupid

# ? Jun 2, 2021 08:23

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# ? May 30, 2024 00:09

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

Zamujasa posted:

It can't be this stupid, so I'm probably explaining it wrong, but from the whitepaper it sounds like it's just dividing the amount of token people have by some arbitrary value, but not in a way that changes how much actual currency someone has -- literally just what it looks like.

e.g there are 5 GUH tokens, and you have two of them

1 GUH = $1000
smart contract goes "number must go up; thus, 1 GUH is actually 0.5 GUH now"

there are now 2.5 GUH tokens total, and you have 1 of them. your actual amount relative to how much exists doesn't change; you still have 40% of it.

but now since there's half as much, the theory is that

1 GUH = $2000

maybe it is that stupid

lmao

# ? Jun 2, 2021 09:06

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Gazpacho posted:

I don't think the Koch brothers' track record supports that

It turns out Captain Planet was too subtle

# ? Jun 2, 2021 09:14

Zamujasa: Oct 27, 2010; Bread Liar

here's the contact if you want to see it.

code:


    constructor()
        ERC20Detailed("Goes Up Higher", "GUH", uint8(DECIMALS))
        public
    {
        _totalSupply = INITIAL_FRAGMENTS_SUPPLY;
        _gonBalances[msg.sender] = TOTAL_GONS;
        _gonsPerFragment = TOTAL_GONS.div(_totalSupply);

...


    function balanceOf(address who)
        external
        view
        returns (uint256)
    {
        return _gonBalances[who].div(_gonsPerFragment);
    }

"fragments" are the actual currency, "gons" are actual displayed units.

fun fact: the contract address starts with 0x42069

# ? Jun 2, 2021 09:20

nomad2020: Jan 30, 2007

Some goon's going to mortgage their house because of that GUH banner ad, calling it now.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 10:37

acidx: Sep 24, 2019; right clicking is stealing

kw0134 posted:

"If you are one of the tens of millions of individuals worldwide using it as a tool to escape monetary repression, inflation, or capital controls, you most likely think that the energy is extremely well spent." That's...questionable. And the links aren't to cites that demonstrate the claim. (most of the links are to Venezuela, which is lololololol)

These takes especially bother me because the deregulated, decentralized nature of the crypto market gets presented as a pro for the impoverished in underdeveloped regions, but of course, it's always the poor who get run over in free markets like these. All pushing them towards the crypto market does is push them away from consumer protections and take away any recourse if they do get scammed. Crypto as a whole will never do enough good for the global poor to outweigh the damage that just the onecoin scam did in Africa. And sadly that won't be the last crypto scam that will primarily hurt the ~unbankable~. That's to say nothing of all the people who are losing power as energy production weighs heavier and heavier towards mining, particularly in China.

acidx fucked around with this message at 12:30 on Jun 2, 2021

# ? Jun 2, 2021 12:23

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Wifi Toilet posted:

BRB, gonna go fill up some 55 gallon drums with beef.

my pickup truck full of imitation crab meat is stolen from me at gunpoint but not before I'm humiliatingly forced to stomp on it barefooted

# ? Jun 2, 2021 12:33

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

acidx posted:

These takes especially bother me because the deregulated, decentralized nature of the crypto market gets presented as a pro for the impoverished in underdeveloped regions, but of course, it's always the poor who get run over in free markets like these. All pushing them towards the crypto market does is push them away from consumer protections and take away any recourse if they do get scammed. Crypto as a whole will never do enough good for the global poor to outweigh the damage that just the onecoin scam did in Africa. And sadly that won't be the last crypto scam that will primarily hurt the ~unbankable~. That's to say nothing of all the people who are losing power as energy production weighs heavier and heavier towards mining, particularly in China.

The assertion is especially nonsensical in light of the fact that the problem with hyperinflation of the scale of, say, Venezuela's is that the millions he claims is aided don't actually have the capital to buy into bitcoin in the first place. What, are people sitting around with a buttcoin dispenser in Caracas? No, they expect to be paid. This is some idiot in NYC going "why don't those people in Manaus, Brazil just get in their yachts to escape flooding???"

Any way, the unbanked have multiple other options that don't rely on an always-on internet-accessible computing device (ask how that works out in a place like Venezuela which has no consistent power outside of Caracas). Such as, you know, the ol' greenback. Or M-pesa.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 13:32

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Looks like the NFT fad has already imploded into its own bullshit

https://protos.com/nft-market-bubble-popped-crypto-collectibles-are-over/

# ? Jun 2, 2021 14:01

Janitor Ludwich IV: Jan 25, 2019; by vyelkin

i'm gonna study digital finance for my CPA and it has a section on cryptocurrency so i'll let you all know if its time to buy

# ? Jun 2, 2021 14:17

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Like the core thing with libertarians is that they seem to both think civilisation is on the edge of collapse and they're doing what will make them come out on top, while taking all the infrastructure and systems of society completely for granted.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 14:18

Janitor Ludwich IV: Jan 25, 2019; by vyelkin

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Like the core thing with libertarians is that they seem to both think civilisation is on the edge of collapse and they're doing what will make them come out on top, while taking all the infrastructure and systems of society completely for granted.

no libertarians are just retarded and want civilization to collapse so they can come together and lord over non-whites and claim they rebuilt civilization

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 2, 2021 14:21

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Like the core thing with libertarians is that they seem to both think civilisation is on the edge of collapse and they're doing what will make them come out on top, while taking all the infrastructure and systems of society completely for granted.

yes, because they're children.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 14:24

Stealthgerbil: Dec 16, 2004

I get the whole 'send money to people in other countries person to person with no third party to tell you what you can do' philosophy and appeal of bitcoin but in the end they still have to turn it into their local currency so it defeats the whole point.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 14:58

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Stealthgerbil posted:

I get the whole 'send money to people in other countries person to person with no third party to tell you what you can do' philosophy and appeal of bitcoin but in the end they still have to turn it into their local currency so it defeats the whole point.

it's like learning esperanto. the only people you can communicate are folks who know esperanto.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 15:03

Khorne: May 1, 2002

casino chips: the superior stablecoin because you can exchange them for USD from the issuer

# ? Jun 2, 2021 15:54

Ad by Khad: Jul 25, 2007; Human Garbage
Watch me try to laugh this title off like the dickbag I am.
I also hang out with racists.

sometimes there is a pretty good reason for a third party telling you you can't send money to someone

maybe that person is a criminal extortionist who just shut down all the schools in Baltimore and just got paid a 13 btc ransom and now they want YOU to help them money launder it

# ? Jun 2, 2021 16:24

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

Religious zealots you say?

https://twitter.com/dergigi/status/1398731154195324931

# ? Jun 2, 2021 16:33

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

i like how this objective truth needs a massive computer network and all entire tech tree and support infrastructural, while straight edge and compass / basic geometry or astronomy like need nothing, but whatever.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 18:45

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

Ad by Khad posted:

How do you square "trustless settlement" with the fact that its main purpose is going to be to fund terrorism and sanctions evasion?

I want to make a similar point to this in a slightly different way: how is "trustless settlement" even possible for most (legitimate) categories of transactions made online?

There's two sides to a transaction, and whatever happens on a "trustless" blockchain only covers one side of any given transaction. If I want to buy a physical good from someone on the internet using bitcoin, that transaction still requires an element of faith and trust - either I have to make payment first and trust that the seller will ship the goods, or the seller has to ship the goods first and trust that I will make payment afterward. If I'm the purchaser, I have to put more faith in the seller when sending them bitcoin rather than using a credit card to pay them, since there's no recourse if they keep my bitcoin and don't send the goods.

"Trust" is not always a dirty word. I'll never understand how bitcoin advocates insist that trust is thing that can be avoided, let alone why they think it is something that should be avoided.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 19:06

tehinternet: Feb 14, 2005; Semantically, "you" is both singular and plural, though syntactically it is always plural. It always takes a verb form that originally marked the word as plural.

Also, there is no plural when the context is an argument with an individual rather than a group. Somfin shouldn't put words in my mouth.

Blotto_Otter posted:

"Trust" is not always a dirty word. I'll never understand how bitcoin advocates insist that trust is thing that can be avoided, let alone why they think it is something that should be avoided.

The only thing they want trust on is that their mail order bride is under 15 years old

# ? Jun 2, 2021 19:13

Funk In Shoe: Apr 20, 2008; Waiting in line, Mr. Haydon told me it is a wheel not meant for lovers but for infants, lifting people and letting them swing, putting the world on display from up high

Zamujasa posted:

It can't be this stupid, so I'm probably explaining it wrong, but from the whitepaper it sounds like it's just dividing the amount of token people have by some arbitrary value, but not in a way that changes how much actual currency someone has -- literally just what it looks like.

e.g there are 5 GUH tokens, and you have two of them

1 GUH = $1000
smart contract goes "number must go up; thus, 1 GUH is actually 0.5 GUH now"

there are now 2.5 GUH tokens total, and you have 1 of them. your actual amount relative to how much exists doesn't change; you still have 40% of it.

but now since there's half as much, the theory is that

1 GUH = $2000

maybe it is that stupid

well yeah it's a pyramid scheme.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 19:13

Cirrhosis Johnson: Jan 9, 2014

Badcoin

# ? Jun 3, 2021 00:07

DerekSmartymans: Feb 14, 2005; The
Copacetic
Ascetic

Chadzok posted:

It's an incoherent quagmire that can only be effectively dealt with by a nuke from regulatory orbit.

I copied that phrase because it�s a really good quote :airquote:

Aliens vs. Bitcoin, the block(chain) busting franchise coming in July 2022!

# ? Jun 3, 2021 01:35

DerekSmartymans: Feb 14, 2005; The
Copacetic
Ascetic

kw0134 posted:

The assertion is especially nonsensical in light of the fact that the problem with hyperinflation of the scale of, say, Venezuela's is that the millions he claims is aided don't actually have the capital to buy into bitcoin in the first place. What, are people sitting around with a buttcoin dispenser in Caracas? No, they expect to be paid. This is some idiot in NYC going "why don't those people in Manaus, Brazil just get in their yachts to escape flooding???"

Any way, the unbanked have multiple other options that don't rely on an always-on internet-accessible computing device (ask how that works out in a place like Venezuela which has no consistent power outside of Caracas). Such as, you know, the ol' greenback. Or M-pesa.

I�ve never had a PayPal or online payment service of any kind. I recently, with zero help, set up a Venmo account to buy a Win10 license for a few bucks from a SA Mart goon that took less than five minutes and was a legit key. It was like that including the Venmo account setup and transfer, and nobody got scammed or anything like that. Bitcoin will never be as easy to use as that. And I even have account information on Amazon Prime and Netflix and Disney+ and a couple of internet-centered subscriptions for games and books. I use a prepaid Visa and there are minimal (if any) fees. I keep just enough to maybe buy a song or rent a movie (I wanna see Nobody so bad but not for :20bux:

) . If I got �hacked� not only would I get money back and wouldn�t really get too upset because I keep at most $15 on there unless I�m three minutes from ordering a textbook or something.

No token is worth the hassle of this poo poo. Especially as a poor person (in the USA, even!), much less a person living on $25/year in deepest darkest Africa. They may not be able to afford a 30% �haircut� when they get a couple little (EDIT: POWER FLICKERED AND POPPED MY WIFI :argh:

) material purchases to start a quilting business or a couple of oxen to work their small farm (or a tractor: not all Africans are sitting in loincloths waiting to be lifted up by the white man; while at the same time a rural farmer may have electricity and internet, but be 100 miles from a full-service bank infrastructure :doh:

). They need actual currency, just like all of the rest of humanity.

DerekSmartymans fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Jun 3, 2021

# ? Jun 3, 2021 01:55

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Gazpacho posted:

I don't think the Koch brothers' track record supports that

You will find that David Koch is dead and Charles Koch is a ghoul who is dead inside and alone.

No more "Brothers" just "Charles" until we can find his phylactery, smear it in dog poop, and shoot it into the sun.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 02:16

DerekSmartymans: Feb 14, 2005; The
Copacetic
Ascetic

Blotto_Otter posted:

"Trust" is not always a dirty word. I'll never understand how bitcoin advocates insist that trust is thing that can be avoided, let alone why they think it is something that should be avoided.

As a tangential reminder, coiners are not actually the type of people you can trust. Not to babysit your kids or not to chargeback purchases while not returning the goods or anywhere involving money. They must have �trustless� access to Bitcoin simply because they have proved themselves to the normal economy that they are, in fact, UNTRUSTWORTHY people. They aren�t allowed or have previously shown themselves to be thieves, scammers, and money laundering thugs. They show this with the things you buy with crypto: drugs, child pornography, guns for felons, contraband, ransomware keys, fake IDs, illegal document forgery including digital IP they don�t own, and �ISIS futures.�

They already are the unbanked. Nobody will do real-money transactions with them because they have proven they cannot act in good faith when presented with access to dollars, forcing them to use �alternatives� to useful normal currency like Euros or Yen or Chuck-E-Cheese tokens. That�s who needs �trustless� money: The Untrustworthy.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 03:20

Rexxed: May 1, 2010; Dis is amazing!
I gotta try dis!

DerekSmartymans posted:

As a tangential reminder, coiners are not actually the type of people you can trust. Not to babysit your kids or not to chargeback purchases while not returning the goods or anywhere involving money. They must have �trustless� access to Bitcoin simply because they have proved themselves to the normal economy that they are, in fact, UNTRUSTWORTHY people. They aren�t allowed or have previously shown themselves to be thieves, scammers, and money laundering thugs. They show this with the things you buy with crypto: drugs, child pornography, guns for felons, contraband, ransomware keys, fake IDs, illegal document forgery including digital IP they don�t own, and �ISIS futures.�

They already are the unbanked. Nobody will do real-money transactions with them because they have proven they cannot act in good faith when presented with access to dollars, forcing them to use �alternatives� to useful normal currency like Euros or Yen or Chuck-E-Cheese tokens. That�s who needs �trustless� money: The Untrustworthy.

Yep, I used to do a lot of phone and computer ad viewing with a farm of phones and virtual machines. From 2013 until 2019 or so there was good profits in it that easily paid for the equipment, internet, and power. Payout was usually done in amazon gift cards or sometimes (at a lower rate) by paypal. In the last two or three years many of the good services have shut down and there's shadier replacements who have started up. Most of them prefer to do cryptocurrency payouts so I have mostly stopped doing it (there's only a couple left that I still use that will do amazon or paypal). We had a thread in C&D for a while but it died out due to so many of the services shuttering a couple of years ago. Shady services often vanish with your balance, require a bunch of referrals to be completed before payouts (oh hey, a pyramid scheme of contact information), or whatever.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 04:01

meat police: Nov 14, 2015

THinking about investing in this "crypto" thing I've been hearing about lately

# ? Jun 3, 2021 04:05

Rexxed: May 1, 2010; Dis is amazing!
I gotta try dis!

meat police posted:

THinking about investing in this "crypto" thing I've been hearing about lately

You should definitely do it, cryptosporidium is the popular parasite to give you gastrointestinal distress these days!

# ? Jun 3, 2021 04:10

Rinkles: Oct 24, 2010; What I'm getting at is...
Do you feel the same way?

i heard you can earn crypto while you learn about crypto

# ? Jun 3, 2021 04:39

catspleen: Sep 12, 2003; I orphaned his children. I widowed his wife.

meat police posted:

THinking about investing in this "crypto" thing I've been hearing about lately

Christ I just had friend Kramer into discord and say this exact thing.

I said don�t touch the poop.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 04:44

DerekSmartymans: Feb 14, 2005; The
Copacetic
Ascetic

catspleen posted:

Christ I just had friend Kramer into discord and say this exact thing.

I said don�t touch the poop.

He was already chewing on the poop; hopefully your words were the Listerine and toothpaste he needed.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 05:02

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

Crypto owns, you fukken nerds, cya later loser!

*Jumps on mining rig powered entirely by coal in a huge cloud of smoke, when it clears the planet is dead by climate change*

# ? Jun 3, 2021 05:45

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Son of Rodney posted:

Crypto owns, you fukken nerds, cya later loser!

*Jumps on mining rig powered entirely by coal in a huge cloud of smoke, when it clears the planet is dead by climate change*

This needs more thunderdome or at least a dramatic thunderstorm.

Seriously I don't mind making money off idiots via crypto, but end of the day that's all it is. Trading of digital assets is the same whether it's stocks or crypto.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 09:40

Bleusilences: Jun 23, 2004; Be careful for what you wish for.

DerekSmartymans posted:

As a tangential reminder, coiners are not actually the type of people you can trust. Not to babysit your kids or not to chargeback purchases while not returning the goods or anywhere involving money. They must have �trustless� access to Bitcoin simply because they have proved themselves to the normal economy that they are, in fact, UNTRUSTWORTHY people. They aren�t allowed or have previously shown themselves to be thieves, scammers, and money laundering thugs. They show this with the things you buy with crypto: drugs, child pornography, guns for felons, contraband, ransomware keys, fake IDs, illegal document forgery including digital IP they don�t own, and �ISIS futures.�

They already are the unbanked. Nobody will do real-money transactions with them because they have proven they cannot act in good faith when presented with access to dollars, forcing them to use �alternatives� to useful normal currency like Euros or Yen or Chuck-E-Cheese tokens. That�s who needs �trustless� money: The Untrustworthy.

I always said that bitcoin is a scam from top to bottom but you really put into word clearly what I instinctively felt when I dug into to it.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 10:16

blunt: Jul 7, 2005

https://twitter.com/engadget/status/1400403712980443139?s=19

The speculation is that Norton are running their own mining pool and taking a cut (if you enable mining), so now you can pay for your antivirus (hi 2008!) with both your dollars and your power bill :psypop:

blunt fucked around with this message at 14:12 on Jun 3, 2021

# ? Jun 3, 2021 14:05

Ad by Khad: Jul 25, 2007; Human Garbage
Watch me try to laugh this title off like the dickbag I am.
I also hang out with racists.

Putting a coinminer trojan directly into the antivirus program itself is precisely ironicat enough for 2021, thanks

# ? Jun 3, 2021 14:11

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

if only microsoft had kept letting them inject code into the kernel with vista they wouldn't have turned to a life of crime

# ? Jun 3, 2021 14:13

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# ? May 30, 2024 00:09

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

blunt posted:

https://twitter.com/engadget/status/1400403712980443139?s=19

The speculation is that Norton are running their own mining pool and taking a cut (if you enable mining), so now you can pay for your antivirus (hi 2008!) with both your dollars and your power bill

So at what point is it not considered just the same as the malware it is supposed to protect against?

# ? Jun 3, 2021 17:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

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