Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

Epicurius posted:

You realize Tobias would eat Rufus, right?

Tobias can't even eat a stupid bunny, how's he gonna eat a talking mole rat

# ? Jun 12, 2021 05:36

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# ? May 27, 2024 21:41

Grondoth: Feb 18, 2011

So this series is pretty nuts, huh

# ? Jun 12, 2021 07:13

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

I hate to do this, but tonight's chapters are going to be delayed. For whatever reason I can't get a wifi signal on the computer I have the books. Hoping this will clear up tonight, but if not, hoping for tomorrow.

# ? Jun 13, 2021 03:49

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

A likely story. Curious that your last post was two hours ago :thunk:

# ? Jun 13, 2021 04:08

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Rumors of my internet's demise have been greatly exaggerated. (In case you're curious, because of the way my house is wired, my wifi is hooked up to a plug connected to a lightswitch. My sister and nephew came over earlier, my nephew tried to turn on a light, and accidentally flipped the wrong switch, and I didn't realize that until now. Now I did, and problem solved).

Chapter 5

quote:

�Hello. My name is Tobias. I ��

I hesitated. The secretary was looking at me skeptically. Like maybe I�d come in looking to borrow a quarter for the video game at the convenience store.

�My name is Tobias.� I told her my last name. Weird. I could barely remember it. It felt like I was using an alias. �I think Mr. DeGroot wanted to talk to me.�

She was puzzled. I looked at her nameplate. Ingrid.

�It�s pronounced DeGroot. It rhymes with boat.�

�Oh.�

�Let me just check with Mr. DeGroot.� She picked up her phone and punched a tine. �Mr. DeGroot, there�s a young boy named Tobias out here. He says - Oh. All right.�

She hung up the phone.

�I guess he does want to see you,� she admitted. �Right through that door.�

I checked the door. Fine. The lawyer�s office was still sharing a wall with the laundromat. If I started yelling it would take Rachel about three minutes to morph and come through that wall.

Three minutes is a very long time when you can�t even fly.

I used the doorknob. Yes, human hands were very cool. As a bird I�d have been totally defeated by the doorknob.

DeGroot was younger than I�d expected. More in his twenties or thirties than really old. He was wearing a white shirt and red suspenders. His jacket was thrown casually over a chair.

He jumped up and smiled.

�So, you are Tobias.�

�Yes. I�m Tobias.�

He looked me up and down. I did the same to him.

�I�ve been hoping I could locate you, Tobias. Have a seat, please. Would you like some water? A soda? Coffee? No, I guess you don�t drink coffee at your age. A soda? We have Coke, Diet Coke. And we might have some Dr. Brown�s cream soda. I�d have to have Ingrid check.�

If he was getting ready to pull a gun and shoot me, or expecting to have Visser Three come storming in the door, he hid it very well.

I relaxed a little. But I was baffled. Water? Coffee? Soda? What was the right answer?

�Um � um ��

Good grief. You�d think it was Final Jeopardy and the category was Obscure Modern Poets. I was so out of practice being human.

�I�d like a Coke!� I practically yelled.

DeGroot pressed his intercom. �Ingrid, our young friend would like -�

�- a Coke. Yes, I heard him. All the way out here.�

The lawyer and I stared at each other till the Coke came. I gripped the can self-consciously and pressed it to my beak. Lips.

It had been a long time since I�d tasted sugar. I almost burst out laughing. It was like being Ax in human morph. The taste of sugar was overwhelming! And the coldness. I hadn�t felt cold in my mouth in a very long time.

He really needs to morph human every once in a while and let the other Animorphs buy him lunch.

quote:

�Tobias, where have you been staying? Your legal guardians both seemed to think the other one had you.�

Not a question I wanted to answer. �I take care of myself.�

DeGroot smiled. �No doubt. But you are underage. You can�t �take care of yourself.� Not legally.�

�You can�t lock me up,� I said. Literally true. One thing about being an Animorph: No home, no building, no school, no jail or prison could hold me.

The lawyer looked pained. �That�s not what I am talking about.�

�Okay. What are you talking about?�

That seemed to set him back a little. It was weird. I had a toughness I�d never had when I was human. As a human I�d been a bully-magnet.

�Here�s the thing. I represent your father�s estate.�

�My father is dead.�

�Tobias �� He leaned across his desk. �Your father, that father, the man who died? That may not have been your real father.�

�What?�

�I have a document � it�s a strange situation. Very strange. Look, Tobias, I�m going to level with you. My father used to run this office. He�s dead, too. He left this document along with the rest of his clients� papers. But on this he wrote me specific instructions. Very specific. On the date of your next birthday your father�s last statement was to be read to you, if at all humanly possible.�
I
didn�t know what to say. If this was a trap, it was a weird one.

�Are you okay? You don�t seem surprised.�

No, I didn�t, I realized with a start. I had forgotten to make facial expressions. It was something I didn�t do as a hawk.

�I am surprised,� I said. I twisted my face into what I hoped was an expression of surprise. But it occurred to me that I was facing a new problem: He�d said he�d read the document on my next birthday.

When was my birthday? I couldn�t exactly ask him.

�Now there�s this new complication. A woman named Aria, who says she is your cousin. Your great-aunt�s daughter. Apparently she�s only just learned of your situation. She�s a very acclaimed nature photographer and she�s been on a long-term assignment in Africa. She wants to meet you.�

�Why?�

�You�re family. She wants to help you.�

�Oh.�

�She�d like to meet you tomorrow. At the hotel where she�s staying. If that�s okay. It�s the Hyatt downtown. Do you know where that is?�

I could have said, yes, I am familiar with their roof. A peregrine falcon has a nest there in a niche in the radio tower. And the thermals are great, sweeping up the south face of the building, warm air radiating up from the street below and gaining strength from the sunlight reflected off all those
windows.

What I did say was, �Yeah, I know where it is.�

�She�s very concerned for you.�

�Uh-huh.�

�Do you need money? A place to spend the night?�

�No, I�m fine.�

He shrugged doubtfully. �You look healthy enough. Well dressed.�

I almost laughed. Rachel had picked out my wardrobe. I looked like a poster boy for Tommy Hilfiger.

�I get by okay. Um � so when did you say you�re going to read this document?�

�On your birthday.�

�Ah. Okay. Bye.�

We've entered into an adventure of secret wills, unknown cousins, and buildings with really good thermals.

Chapter 6

quote:

My birthday. When was my birthday? This month?

What month were we in?

I left the office and walked to the convenience store. Ax and Marco studiously avoided noticing me. Ax�s human morph face was smeared with something I could only hope was chocolate.

I didn�t even look at them. No nod, no wink, nothing. If we were being followed the slightest thing would give us away.

The signal for �danger� was me going to the donut display and looking inside. The signal for �okay� was me picking up a Mounds bar and putting it back down.

I toyed with the Mounds bar. The guy at the counter said, �You gonna buy that?�

Ax and Marco left. I went to the newspaper rack. I checked the date. The month. Yes, that was my birth month. Today was the twenty-second. My birthday was � the twenty-fifth! Yes. That was it. Probably.

I waited till Marco and Ax were clear then I went outside. I blinked at the sun and almost flapped my wings.

My father! My father was not my father? There was some �real� father somewhere? Also dead or gone? That was a lot of coincidence. And some long-lost cousin showing up within days of when this �father�s� will was supposed to be read to me?

Way too much coincidence.

I started walking. I was heading to the nearby park to demorph at a spot we�d chosen in advance.

Halfway there, I heard Jake�s thought-speak voice in my head. 

I didn�t wonder too much where Jake was. In the sky somewhere. Up flying free.

We had planned for this. I glanced across the street and saw a Speedy Muffler King and an Applebee�s. I headed for the Applebee�s. Across traffic. Trotting, like I�d suddenly realized I was hungry.

<Yep. He�s following you,> Jake reported.

In the front door of Applebee�s. Fast, fast toward the men�s room before my tail could catch sight of me again.

Then a quick cut left, past the bathroom, into the kitchen.

Waiters and waitresses were running around, pushing, laughing, yelling. The cooks were banging pots. I pushed past the dishwasher, looking for the back door.

�Hey, if you�re looking for the bathroom �� someone called out as I blew past.

Out the back door. I broke into a run. There was a residential street of small homes behind the restaurant. Down a connecting alley, I cut right again, heading once more for the park.

I wasn�t too worried. Someone might think he could follow me without being noticed. But I had eyes in the sky watching over me.

<You lost him,> Jake reported.

I trotted on toward the park. They had a covered but open kind of rest room thing. You know, with a roof, only the walls didn�t go all the way up?

I found an empty stall and waited.

<Tobias, you�re clear,> Cassie said.

I demorphed. Back to hawk. I flew up and out of the stall, up away from humans and back into the blue sky.

Only then did it hit me full force: Someone wanted me. Family. Wanted to take care of me.

Unless, of course, what they really wanted was to learn my secrets.

And then kill me.

So maybe I'm off base here, but the fact that Marco, Ax, Jake, and Cassie all covered Tobias's escape here suggests he already has family who wants to take care of him.

# ? Jun 13, 2021 04:12

Soup du Jour: Sep 8, 2011; I always knew I'd die with a headache.

A little late on this bit but it�s funny to me that Tobias regards Aria as a strange name to the point of being like �aria?? isn�t that the opera thing???� when today it�s an absurdly popular children�s name

# ? Jun 13, 2021 04:22

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Soup du Jour posted:

A little late on this bit but it�s funny to me that Tobias regards Aria as a strange name to the point of being like �aria?? isn�t that the opera thing???� when today it�s an absurdly popular children�s name

And "sci-fi dystopia" is an absurdly popular children's genre. Which is a bit weird, really.

# ? Jun 13, 2021 06:48

Pwnstar: Dec 9, 2007; Who wants some waffles?

I don't know if this lawyer is cool for not narcing on Tobias or uncool for letting an obviously mentally damaged child leave his office with nobody to look after him.

# ? Jun 13, 2021 06:55

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Epicurius posted:

So maybe I'm off base here, but the fact that Marco, Ax, Jake, and Cassie all covered Tobias's escape here suggests he already has family who wants to take care of him.

Part of him, even pre-bird, wants to be "normal," which means having a semi-traditional family, even if they're divorced like Rachel's parents or derelict like Marco's dad was at the start of the series.

Him and Ax are the only ones who aren't leading double lives at the moment - it's all war, all the time - but if the war ends well Ax will get to go home to his family, whereas Tobias doesn't really have much left except the friendships and relationships he's built with the others. Which of course are valid, but he's understandably internalised that craving for normality even way beyond the point where feeling different from the other kids at high school matters anymore. (But yes, I imagine this book is going to end with a cliche about how he realised the Animorphs are his real family.)

# ? Jun 13, 2021 08:52

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Also, I distinctly remember being Tobias' age and massively overthinking my body language and facial expressions as he does (albeit, without the excuse of being trapped in hawk form.) Sometimes these books really get being 13 and hating all of the things.

# ? Jun 13, 2021 09:06

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Pwnstar posted:

I don't know if this lawyer is cool for not narcing on Tobias or uncool for letting an obviously mentally damaged child leave his office with nobody to look after him.

Honestly if the kid shows up fully clothed in upper middle end clothing, visibly not hungry and not distressed whatsoever, clearly he's living somewhere. Also it's a lawyer that shares a wall with a laundromat, so I'd say not the top lawyer here lmao

# ? Jun 13, 2021 13:58

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

Honestly if the kid shows up fully clothed in upper middle end clothing, visibly not hungry and not distressed whatsoever, clearly he's living somewhere. Also it's a lawyer that shares a wall with a laundromat, so I'd say not the top lawyer here lmao

This reminds me of a great line from one of my favourite author's otherwise mediocre novels (Peter Carey, His Illegal Self):

quote:

Then she waited for the lawyer, watching him stroke his mustache like a fool. She could not imagine how this man had ended up in this crappy little office with felt tiles on the floor. All those years in law school and then spend your life in loving Nambour, staring through the window at the Woolworths loading dock.

# ? Jun 13, 2021 14:27

Tunzie: Aug 9, 2008

freebooter posted:

This reminds me of a great line from one of my favourite author's otherwise mediocre novels (Peter Carey, His Illegal Self):

Holy poo poo, I was not expecting to open this thread and hear about goddamned Nambour, that hit me like a truck.

Also I remember really appreciating the way the kids approached this lawyer visit, they were properly wary and prepared for anything going wrong with it and aware it seemed sus.

# ? Jun 13, 2021 20:53

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 7

quote:

I should have met with the others. That was the plan. But once I was back in the sky, I just didn�t want to.

I didn�t want to have to sit down and explain it all to them. I guess, too, I didn�t want to have to deal with Cassie�s hopefulness and Rachel�s concern and Marco�s abrasive skepticism.

I didn�t want it all analyzed and picked apart. I knew the routine. Cassie would make me go over everything, word by word, gesture by gesture, expression by expression. Cassie has an amazing talent for understanding other people and their motives. She would want to understand all she could about DeGroot.

Marco would be different. He would barely listen before he started zeroing in on all the problems and inconsistencies.

Rachel would pace restlessly, angrily, looking for some way to make me safe. Looking for some action to take. Jake would wait and listen calmly, and judge.

I didn�t want my friends thinking for me. I didn�t want them to decide what I felt. I wanted to do it alone.

This was mine. My problem. My hope. My choice.

I flew. Flew and flew, circling higher and higher on lush thermals that felt as if they could lift me effortlessly beyond the clouds.

Below and behind, I saw a falcon I knew as Jake. And a harrier I knew as Cassie. They saw me. Jake, at least, could easily have caught up with me. But they let me go. I guess they knew I needed to think.

I circled up till I could feel the ceiling of a flat-bottomed cumulus cloud right above me. Then I translated my altitude into distance and headed for the woods. Headed for a very specific place in the woods, far back, far from any trail.

I had been to this place twice before. Once when the Ellimist showed us all the way. Once when I went there only to hear an amazing story. But even now, even knowing precisely where it was, even with all my hawk vision focused, all my innate direction-finding ability carefully attuned, I had a hard
time finding it.

Call it a spell. That�s what the Ellimist had done: He had cast a fairy-tale spell over this place, making it almost impossible for any mere mortal to find it. The eyes slid away. The feathers did not feel a breeze that blew from it. The ears heard no sound that came from it. It was the valley of the Hork-Bajir. The free Hork-Bajir.

Jara Hamee and Ket Halpak had been the couple who�d escaped their Yeerk slave masters. How much the Ellimist had intervened � well, he would say he never intervenes in the affairs of other species. But Jara and Ket had evaded their Yeerks and avoided recapture with help from us. And they had come to this concealed valley.

Since then, others had come. Some were escapees. Others had been born into freedom.

That�s where I flew. To the valley of the Hork-Bajir.

The last time I�d come, they�d been surprised. This time was different. This time, as I flew through the narrow opening of the valley, I saw two dozen Hork-Bajir standing, looking up at the sky, waiting.

When they saw me they began to point and wave. I thought I recognized Jara and Ket. Standing at their center was the young Hork-Bajir girl named Toby. Named after me. She was Jara and Ket�s child. And she was what the Hork-Bajir call a �seer.�

The Hork-Bajir are not the geniuses of the galaxy. They may look like death and destruction on two legs, but the blades that adorn their seven-foot-tall bodies are designed for stripping edible bark from trees.

That is not what their slave master Yeerks use them for. The Hork-Bajir have been made into the shock troops of the Yeerk Empire.

In any case, whether fearsome or sweet, the Hork-Bajir are not an intellectual species. Except for the very rare genetic anomalies they call �seers.�

Looking down at the gaggle of waiting Hork-Bajir, I easily spotted Toby. I�d have spotted her even without knowing her. The rest of the group had the dopey, dim expressions of Teletubbies. Toby had the kind of eyes that looked through you and made you feel like you needed to pull a robe on over your brain.

�Tobias!� Jara Hamee yelled happily. �Friend Tobias! Friend.�

<Hi, Jara. Hi, Ket. Hello, Toby.>

�Toby say you come,� Ket said, nodding with great satisfaction. �Toby say, Tobias will come.��

�Yes,� Jara agreed. �Toby say, �Friend Tobias will come.��

�You are here,� Ket said.

Like I said, the Hork-Bajir are long on decent and kind and sweet and generous, and a bit short on witty, clever, and brilliant. If Marco spent a day with the Hork-Bajir, he�d lose his mind and run screaming away looking for someone, anyone, who�d get a joke.

I landed on a nice, level branch just a foot above their weird, forward-raked head blades. <Why did you expect me?>

�We need you, Tobias,� Toby said.

I sighed inwardly. I didn�t want to be needed. I wanted some peace and quiet and a chance to think.

But that feeling evaporated the instant Toby explained.

�One of the children, a male named Bek, is missing. He has left the valley. We fear that he may be taken by humans or by human-Controllers. That he may be harmed. Killed. Or worse, made into a Controller.�

That's bad for multiple reasons, obviously, both for Bek and for the valley.

Chapter 8

quote:

Once before when I was feeling low, I went to the Hork-Bajir valley. They�d made me feel better. After all, the Hork-Bajir think I�m their liberator. They think I�m George Washington or whatever. It�s hard not to feel good under those circumstances.

But obviously, this visit was going to be different.

<You searched the entire valley?> I demanded.

�Yes. Search,� Jara said. �Look and look and look.�

�Cry, �Bek, Bek!�� another Hork-Bajir added helpfully.

�Bek, Bek!� Ket confirmed.

�Bek is not in the valley,� Toby said. �I � we found tracks leading out of the valley. The right size for a Hork-Bajir of his age.�

I said several words I can�t repeat. Jara Hamee asked what they meant. <Never mind,> I said. I couldn�t believe this. A Hork-Bajir child missing! Wandering the woods alone. Or worse: not alone.

<How long has he been gone?>

�Since this time yesterday,� the young seer said.

<Oh, man. I have to get back to the others. We�ll start a search. But I don�t think our chances are very good.> Suddenly a thought occurred to me. <Do you think Bek could lead people back here? Would he be able to find his way back? The Ellimist has laid some kind of weird spell on this place.>

Toby looked wary. �No, Bek would not know the way back. But we are able to find our way back.� That made me stare. <What do you mean? You leave the valley?>

�Yes, Tobias. How else can we free our brothers and sisters?� She waved an encompassing arm around the group. �How else have these Hork-Bajir come to freedom?�



Toby grinned the frightening Hork-Bajir grin. �We make it happen. We go at night and raid places where we know Hork-Bajir are.�

<The Yeerk pool?> I asked incredulously.

Toby looked down. �Tobias, we owe you a great deal.�

�Freedom,� Ket Halpak said solemnly. �Hork-Bajir free. Tobias make free.�

<But?> I said a little sarcastically.

�But � but the place where we liberate Hork-Bajir is a secret Yeerk facility that is being built. Not in your city. In the human town beyond the far end of this valley. Tobias � it is very important for us to continue freeing our brothers and sisters. We are few. We must become many. To fight the Yeerks. Also �� She let it hang there.

<Un. Be. Lievable,> I said. <You �seers� really are a different breed, aren�t you?> I said harshly. <You�re looking for the day when the Yeerks leave, aren�t you? You need enough numbers so that humans don�t just slap you all in a zoo.>

Toby looked proud. �The Hork-Bajir trusted Andalites to save us from the Yeerks. The Andalites failed. The Andalites took care of their own. We must do the same. We are grateful to the humans called Animorphs. But do you say we should trust all humans?�

Well, she had me there. It was way too easy to see a day when the Yeerks were defeated and these Hork-Bajir were left behind on Earth. What would happen to them? Humans didn�t exactly have an unblemished record of tolerance for different races. After all, before this valley had belonged to the Hork-Bajir, it had probably been inhabited by Native Americans.

<You�re worried that if I know about this secret Yeerk construction project my friends and I will attack it?>

�Yes.�

<Do you think Bek may have gone there?>

�We don�t know. He may have followed the scent trails left by our raiders.� She sounded doubtful. �It is possible. But he did not leave from that end of the valley.�

<Ah. Swell. Perfect. You know, I came up here looking for a break from life.>

The seer smiled. �If you promise not to destroy the place, I will show you how to find it.�

I sighed. 

Toby started to say something, but I interrupted her. <You have my word we won�t do anything unless you approve. I�ll deal with Jake. In the meantime, we�ll start searching elsewhere. But be ready in case I come back. Because if I come back, it will mean I need you.>

It was Jara who stepped forward then. Toby may have been the brains, but Jara and Ket were theheart of this tiny community. Jara put his big, dangerous claw out, palm up, and I hopped into it. He lifted me up to his goblin face and said, �Tobias ask the Hork-Bajir. Hork-Bajir give. Always.
Forever. Anything. Even life. Jara Hamee never forget.�

Toby nodded her agreement.

Well, what are you going to do? People like that you pretty much have to try and save.

First off, Toby rocks. Second, yea, it's hard to hate the Hork-Bajir.

Epicurius fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Jun 15, 2021

# ? Jun 14, 2021 04:16

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

From their point of view, OK, sure, go ahead with the dangerous guerilla raids, but... sure hope Jara and Ket and Toby have kept the secret human identities of the Animorphs to themselves rather than telling every Hork Bajir they free!

# ? Jun 14, 2021 14:29

Bibliotechno Music: Dec 30, 2008

^^^It seems like Tobias is the only one who�s been back since the Ellimist secured the valley, and even if the free Hork Bajir revealed that the �Andalite bandits� were actually humans, they wouldn�t be able to give much in the way of identifying details (though I suppose Chapman would be able to figure it out). Or if they did, uhh�Ellimist magic!

This has me wondering about the exact mechanism of Hork Bajir oral history. The way Tobias framed it in the Chronicles, it seems like some kind of word-painting? Anyway I find it fascinating. Kind of reminds me of Moana�s vision that inspires her to take the boat.
(Hork Bajir Chronicles was almost as good as I remember it, btw. I love world building stuff anyway, and the way it�s written is well structured, consistent, and heartfelt. Although I realized that I�d conflated a lot of the imagery with Dinotopia since I read them at about the same time, lol)

quote:

Humans didn�t exactly have an unblemished record of tolerance for different races. After all, before this valley had belonged to the Hork-Bajir, it had probably been inhabited by Native Americans.

I thought this was very interesting for KAA to include, especially with the Noble Savage tropes around the Hork Bajir in the chronicles.

# ? Jun 14, 2021 15:23

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

You know, thinking about it a bit, but like, couldn't the Arn just... solve all the Yeerk's problems? Like, at the very least give em a non-sentient pretty good host body to use as a stop-gap while figuring out what alterations to the yeerks themselves they'd want.

I mean of course the yeerk leadership seems to just be all about domination and exploitation in all aspects, but, you know.

# ? Jun 15, 2021 02:12

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

Mazerunner posted:

You know, thinking about it a bit, but like, couldn't the Arn just... solve all the Yeerk's problems? Like, at the very least give em a non-sentient pretty good host body to use as a stop-gap while figuring out what alterations to the yeerks themselves they'd want.

I mean of course the yeerk leadership seems to just be all about domination and exploitation in all aspects, but, you know.

I am going off my vague memories of the books we haven't read but the impression I got was the Yeerks had never experienced a brutal back breaking war before. They also hadn't had distinct political factions before like the Yeerk Peace Movement vs the war movement. They're individuals and have individual experiences and not all of them like having hosts but they come off as being otherwise being incredibly uniform in their desires and response. Encountering humans changed everything for them because humans responded with total warfare even in the face of certain death, and Jake's ruthlessness along with Cassie's luck in giving them the morphing box forced them to splinter. Their initial forays into the galaxy were sweeps for them.

The idea of having alternative ways of getting what they want simply wasn't needed until they met a brutal resistance that forced them to consider alternatives.

# ? Jun 15, 2021 02:35

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

They probably could, but they're Arnholes.

# ? Jun 15, 2021 02:35

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

They probably could, but they're Arnholes.

I think it's this. The Yeerks have just invaded their planet and are stealing their Hork-Bajir. The Arn are in no mood to do the Yeerks favors.

# ? Jun 15, 2021 03:10

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Hey Arnhole

Scoop kid's afraid to leave his scoop

# ? Jun 15, 2021 03:16

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

Epicurius posted:

I think it's this. The Yeerks have just invaded their planet and are stealing their Hork-Bajir. The Arn are in no mood to do the Yeerks favors.

favors are one thing, but as part of a treaty where in exchange the Arn receive "ok we'll stop invading your planet and enslaving you"? maybe

but I don't think the yeerks would uphold that

# ? Jun 15, 2021 03:25

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 9

quote:

Morning. The meadow.

My meadow.

I saw the other hawk. He was flying, inscribing low circles over the meadow. His eyes were aimed downward, looking for breakfast. But he saw me.

I knew he saw me, because if our roles were reversed, I would see him.

He was wondering why � no, that was wrong. He wasn�t wondering. He was a true red-tailed hawk. Hawks don�t wonder. The question �why� is owned entirely by humans. At least, on Earth it is. Only Homo sapiens asks why. Buteo jamaicensis - red-tailed hawks - don�t ask at all.

He saw me. He knew I was a threat. He watched. He waited. He expected my attack. When my attack came, he would fight. If my attack did not come, he would come after me. It would be a �show� fight. Bluff and threaten and see who ran first. But it could also end up being a very real fight.

I saw him drop down swiftly on some target. A few seconds later he flapped his way back up into view. His talons were empty. He�d missed.

Not enough prey in the meadow. Not enough for both of us. One of us had to go. Or both of us would starve.

I sat on my perch and saw the twitch of grass that told me a rabbit was coming out of its hole. We all have to eat. Rabbits, too.

My opponent was too far away and at the wrong angle to see what I saw. I opened my wings and swooped out of the shadows.

This time I would take one of the rabbits. This time my talons would close on squirming, living flesh.

This time the rabbit would die so that I could live.

I saw them! Yes! The mother and one of the babies. Just my size, the perfect prey. Slow moving, unaware, unlike the wily mother.

I was approaching them on a perfect glide path. I was in the mother rabbit�s blind spot. I opened my talons wide and moved them forward. I trimmed my wings and tail just so. Just perfectly to intercept the little rabbit on its next heedless hop.

Now! Now! Now! Drop and strike!

<Aaaahhhh!>

The vision seized my mind again. I was the rabbit, not the hawk!

I saw the talons! Too late! I tried to hop away but the panic froze me in place. I shook with terror. I could see death coming from the sky, but I could not move.

<Noooooo!> I screamed and broke off. <Noooooo!>

I flapped up and away, and the awful vision faded. The baby rabbit hopped to his mother�s side.

<What is happening to me?!> I yelled to an empty sky. <What is happening to me?>

Tobias's inability to hunt is really going to have a pretty bad effect on him, I'd have to think. This is, partly, I think, him being conflicted between his human and hawk sense.

Chapter 10

quote:

�Just tell me this,� Marco raged. �When do we get a vacation? I mean, Ben-Hur rowing that Roman galley while the guy whipped him and the other guy banged on that big drum got more downtime than we do.�

We were in Cassie�s barn. It was the next day, after the others got back from school. I was in the rafters, in my usual place. From there I could look out through the hayloft to see Cassie�s house and the driveway. And I could listen to sounds coming from outside. I could know whether anyone was sneaking up on us.

�Our lives have become Nintendo games,� Marco went on, enjoying the sound of his own outrage. �We�re always walking down some dark hallway with our blasters drawn and there�s an endless array of enemy guys. We blow �em up, but they keep coming. When do we get to hit the pause button? When do we get to switch over to a nice, peaceful Riven? When do we get to turn off the power and put down the joystick and just veg out with some HBO? When do -�

�When do we get to shut you up?� Rachel interrupted. �When do we get to switch you off? I mean, good grief, Marco, you act like you have something better to do. Before we became Animorphs your entire day consisted of figuring out which girl to annoy next.�

Marco grinned. �And now I always know which girl to annoy next.� He put his arm around Rachel and laid his head on her shoulder.

She laughed and shoved him away.

It was just a dumb little routine, but I felt a flash of jealousy. There are little intimacies that most humans can have that I can�t. I can�t shake hands or hug or lay my head on anyone�s shoulder.

And, as I�d expected, Cassie had questioned me closely, listening intently to everything I related about my meeting with DeGroot. Marco came up with about eight different ways it could all be a scam.

But then I�d told them all this new piece of information: A Hork-Bajir kid was on the loose.

That�s when Marco had started ranting and raving.

�Okay,� Jake said, �we have a lot happening at once. And we can�t blow off any of it. We need to find out if DeGroot is for real or a Controller. We need to find out the same about this possible cousin Aria. And we need to try and find this little, lost Hork-Bajir. Twenty-four hours plus last night, plus this morning while we were in school. Coming up on forty-eight hours he�s been missing.�

�I hate to think of what could be happening to him,� Cassie said.

Jake nodded. But Marco said, �No, wait. You should try and think of what�s happening to him.What are the possibilities?�

 Ax wondered.

�No. Not necessarily,� Cassie said.

�Most people don�t believe you aliens exist,� Rachel said.

Ax nodded, a gesture he�d picked up from humans. <Then what might a human think this creature is?>

�Deformed,� Cassie speculated. �Affected by birth defects. Or seriously sick.�

<The average, fairly decent human would think of taking it to a hospital,> I said.

�Or calling an ambulance,� Cassie added

<The average not-so-decent human might decide to shoot it,> I said. <Or stick it in a cage and charge people to look at the freak.>

Jake nodded agreement. �Yeah. Okay. Marco? Get on the Internet and look for any news reports or whatever. Ax? You help him. Cassie and I will go back to the valley entrance, morph wolves, and see if we can pick up Bek�s scent. Rachel, you�re with Tobias. Figure out if DeGroot and this Aria woman are Controllers. Follow them. Watch them. How long do we have till your birthday, Tobias?�

<Um � three days?> I asked.

�Today�s the twenty-third. When�s your birthday?�

<The twenty-fifth. I think. Twenty-sixth?>

Marco laughed, then I guess he realized I wasn�t kidding.

 I forced a laugh. <Just don�t ask me how old I am in bird years.>

The average person would think a 4-5 foot tall bipedal bladed scaly dinosaur was a deformed person? I'm not sure I believe that.

# ? Jun 15, 2021 03:42

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Not sure I believe Tobias has forgotten his birthday - all the stuff about how he glares emotionlessly at people when human now, sure, but his memories are all perfectly intact. Unless it's because his deadbeat guardians weren't sure either so this pre-dates him being a bird.

# ? Jun 15, 2021 03:52

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

I can totally understand Tobias losing track of his birthday, even if he's just been a hawk for half a year. I doubt his family ever celebrated his birthday, and once your birthday stops being a Thing that gets celebrated, the only time you really remember it is if you obsess over your age, or if you deal with doctors a lot and have to give your birthdate out constantly.

With him probably having no friends or family of note, his birthday's probably been a very non-event for most of his life. Now that he's a hawk the idea of days having numbers is probably starting to lose meaning, just like, I mean. You lose track of time during the pandemic? That but BIRD.

Kind of concerned how they are stuffing two book-sized plots in together, chronologically right after doing the double-plot of David and the world conference. The stakes keep going UP Marco is RIGHT

# ? Jun 15, 2021 04:13

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

I think Tobias also tends to disassociate a bit from his human memories. But I guarantee that Rachel knows when his birthday is, even if she had to break into the school records to find it.

# ? Jun 15, 2021 04:24

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

FlocksOfMice posted:

I can totally understand Tobias losing track of his birthday, even if he's just been a hawk for half a year.

Ummm excuse me I think you will find, as they told David and as Chapman more recently commented, it's only been "a few months."

It's also going to be funny to watch KA avoid mentioning precisely what age he's supposed to be turning.

edit - we're almost halfway through the series now and I genuinely can't remember whether she discards this floating limbo timeline gradually down the track, or if in the final story arc it gets immediately retconned to "oh yeah we're now 16 and have been doing this for three years"

# ? Jun 15, 2021 10:46

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

freebooter posted:

Ummm excuse me I think you will find, as they told David and as Chapman more recently commented, it's only been "a few months."

It's also going to be funny to watch KA avoid mentioning precisely what age he's supposed to be turning.

edit - we're almost halfway through the series now and I genuinely can't remember whether she discards this floating limbo timeline gradually down the track, or if in the final story arc it gets immediately retconned to "oh yeah we're now 16 and have been doing this for three years"

In the second to last book Jake explicitly says he is 16 and he's been fighting the war since he was 13, before that it's limbo

# ? Jun 15, 2021 13:21

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 11

quote:

I felt uncomfortable being paired with Rachel. She�d seen me eating roadkill. She hadn�t mentioned it, and I didn�t think she would. Rachel�s blunt, but sensitive enough, too.

Still, uncomfortable or not, I wasn�t going to start arguing with Jake. I have my problems in life. He has his. I�m not going to complicate his situation.

Besides, what could I say? I�d rather work with Cassie because she doesn�t know I eat roadkill?

Rachel went into her bald eagle morph. I�ve seen her do it many times before, of course, but for some reason this time it fascinated me. Is that the right word? No, it mesmerized me.

Rachel is a beautiful girl. She�s beautiful in that way you know will last her whole life. She�ll be a beautiful woman. But beauty alone isn�t that big a thing. What makes Rachel �Rachel� is what�s inside. And watching her morph to eagle was like seeing her soul emerge through her flesh.

Feather patterns appeared across her skin. The golden hair gave way to the characteristic white feathers of the baldie�s crown. Her arm bones narrowed and hollowed and grew feathers to become wings. Her face, never exactly soft or inviting, became forbidding and intense. Her blue eyes turned golden brown and glared with the fierce glare of a raptor. Her lips became the eagle�s huge beak.

She grew smaller. But she was becoming one of the largest birds in existence. Was she more beautiful to me because she was a bird now? No, of course not. For one thing, eagles and hawks don�t mate. For another, her eagle morph is male.

But sometimes it seemed to me that this body suited her better than her own. Her own body misled people with superficial resemblances to the glossy images of magazine models. This body was Rachel: fast, strong, smart, intense, and dangerous.

<Ready?> she asked.

<Ready,> I said.

She spread her wings. So much broader than my own. I am proud of being a red-tailed hawk, but there is no avoiding the fact that the human eye is drawn to a bald eagle. People can see me and think, What is that, a big brown crow? But when you see a baldie floating on the air, with its six-foot wingspread and yellow beak and unmistakable white head, you know you�re looking at something special.

I read once that Benjamin Franklin wanted the wild turkey to be the official symbol of the United States. But come on. He must never have seen a bald eagle.

We caught a late afternoon thermal and rode it high into the air. Rachel had her wings, but I had my experience, so I kept pace with her easily enough. Not to brag, but when you can add human intelligence onto bird instinct, you get so you can outfly just about anything in the air. Instinct only takes you so far.

 I said.

<Why him? Why not this Aria person?> Rachel asked.



<Plus what?>

I�d been about to say that the very idea of Aria made me nervous. Unsettled. <Nothing. Let�s go see if we can find her. I know what hotel she�s in. I know the room. I morphed to human and called the hotel.>

<How did you get a quarter for the phone?>

<With these eyes? Coins shine in the sunlight. You fly around outside coin-op laundromats or the drive-through lane at a McDonald�s, you�ll find a dropped quarter sooner or later.>

Rachel laughed like that was the funniest thing in the world. <You are the world champion of coping with weird situations,> she said.

<Yeah, well, not always. Sometimes I just wimp out.>

<What do you mean?>

<Let�s crank it to the west a little more, catch this trailing breeze, and take a load off our wings,>

I said. <Ah. Something you don�t want to talk about. That�s cool.>

We turned west and felt the propulsion of the wind coming around behind us. Flying is a lot like sailing. You can fly against the wind, but it�ll wear you down fast. You can sort of tack, flying against the wind by turning at angles to it. But when the wind is cooperating and going your way, hey, you ride it and be thankful.

<It�s no big thing,> I said with a dismissive laugh. <A little bird-on-bird problem.>

<So give me the four-one-one, already,> she grumped. <We have ten, twenty minutes of flying and I forgot to bring a book to read.>

<It�s nothing. It�s this hawk that�s trying to move in on my meadow.>

I felt like an idiot the minute the words were out of my head. This was like the �old� Tobias style: treating people to displays of stupidity and weakness. No wonder I�d gotten beat up so often when I was human. It was like I was begging people to sneer at me.

<Brilliant, Tobias,> I muttered to myself. <Rachel, of all people is really going to appreciate some pathetic story of how you can�t stand up to a bird.>

<What, is he bigger than you?>

Why didn�t I just keep my mouth shut? <Forget it. I just haven�t decided the right time to kick his butt.>

Yeah, right. That was believable.

<There�s the hotel. We need the twenty-third floor,> I said. <Room twenty-three-oh-six. It�s supposed to be facing the city view.>

Of all people, Rachel is the last person to make fun of him for his bird problem....probably the first person to want to help him about it.

Chapter 12

quote:

My heart was beating even faster than usual. I might be about to see a cousin who wanted to take me in. Or I might be sniffing around the edges of a clever trap.

I counted up the floors to twenty-three. We swept around the building to the city side. It is especially thrilling flying around tall buildings. Something about being outside a skyscraper really reminds the human part of you how high up you are. You can imagine humans suddenly outside and picture their helpless terror as they fall, and � well, like I said, it reminds you.

<With the sun at this angle I�m having a hard time seeing inside the windows,> I complained.

<Really? Not me,> Rachel said.

<Bald eagles hunt fish,> I pointed out. <Your eyes are evolved to see down through water, even if there are reflections on the water. I eat mice and rabbits.>

<Rabbits?>

<You take what you can get. And don�t start in with Thumper from Bambi, or Peter Rabbit, or the Easter Bunny. Rabbits are prey, just like mice.>



<Absolutely. Exactly. Nothing wrong with eating a rabbit.>

<Unless he�s named �Bugs.� Hey, I see a woman in that room. Um � third window from the end.>


<Probably a good thing. She�s changing.>

<Ah. You mean she�s changing clothes, right? Not morphing.>

<She�s morphing from a pair of sweatpants and T-shirt into a dress. The dress is, oh, about three, four years out of date.>

<So maybe she really was in Africa. If that�s even her.>

<Or maybe she doesn�t keep up with fashion. I see a lot of camera equipment. That�d fit with the whole nature photographer thing.>

<The glare is shifting. Is it safe for me to look?>

<Are you always this nice about being a Peeping Tom?>

 I said sharply. Then I softened my tone. 

Rachel laughed. <Okay to look now.>

I banked into a turn, flapped to keep my altitude, then glided as slowly as I could, forty feet out from the window.

She was maybe twenty-five or thirty. She had dark hair, pulled back into a ponytail. Not tall, not short. Thin. She seemed very tan.

<Does she look like anyone in your family?> Rachel asked.

<No. I mean, I don�t know. According to DeGroot I have some father I didn�t even know about. So who knows if she looks like family?>

<How do we find out?>

I didn�t answer. The truth is, I hadn�t really heard Rachel. I was off in my own mind, watching the strange woman who said she wanted to take care of me. Why? Why would someone want to take care of me? She didn�t know me. So why? Because of some vague family loyalty thing? Maybe. I guess some families are like that. You know, they feel connected to anyone who shares a biological connection to them. But my family wasn�t that way. Not
the ones I�d met, anyway.

My mother disappeared and my father died when I was little. I barely remembered either of them. I had pictures, of course. Back when I was human. But now when I tried to remember them I couldn�t tell whether the memories were real or just something I�d made up.

Sometimes I wondered if it was all an illusion. That I�d never had a mother and father. That I�d never really been human.
I
was a freak of nature. No, that wasn�t right, either. Nature at its most perverse could not create me. I was a freak of technology. Of alien technology.

I was a bird with the mind of a human boy. Or I was a boy with the body of a bird. Either way, that woman I saw through the glass, the woman now channel-surfing with her remote control and stopping at CNN, that woman did not know me. Not the old me or the real me.

Surprise, Cousin Aria, your adopted son is a red-tailed hawk.

 Rachel asked.

<What? Oh. I guess we follow her. Watch her. Observe. If she�s a Controller she�ll need to go to the Yeerk pool within the next three days.>

<We can�t watch her continuously.> Rachel said.

<Maybe not,> I admitted. <But maybe we can find out enough. Look! She�s getting a phone call.>

<She looks puzzled. Now she�s � excited. There she goes!>

Aria � if this was Aria � hefted a camera bag onto her shoulder. She paused in front of a fulllength mirror, adjusting her hair and checking her clothes carefully.

<Don�t worry about your hair,> Rachel sniped, <do something about that dress.>

I laughed. But at the same time something bothered me about what I�d just seen. Something � But then the woman was out the door of her room and out of sight.

<We should swing around to the front door. Watch her come out,> Rachel said.

<Yeah. Let�s just hope she doesn�t drive or catch a cab.>

<Why?>

<Ever tried flying fast enough to keep up with a car?>

I mean, in a certain sense, I guess he is a freak of alien technology?

# ? Jun 16, 2021 05:39

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

Very little crazy has happened so far and this is already one of my favorites. I really enjoy Tobias' weird perspective on things if nothing else, it's distressingly relatable.

also no book has ever given me a good sense of flying better than Tobias books tbh

# ? Jun 16, 2021 16:53

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

FlocksOfMice posted:

I really enjoy Tobias' weird perspective on things

Epicurius posted:

I am proud of being a red-tailed hawk,

Yeah.

That is a really weird way to phrase that and I wasn't expecting it

# ? Jun 16, 2021 20:31

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

FlocksOfMice posted:

also no book has ever given me a good sense of flying better than Tobias books tbh

I very much liked the touch of how he says being outside a skyscraper at eye level with humans gives you a sudden perspective shift.

# ? Jun 17, 2021 01:26

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 12

quote:

<Oh, man! She�s going for a cab!> I yelled as the hotel doorman waved for a taxi.

<Traffic�s pretty bad. Maybe we can stay with her,> Rachel said.

<Not by staying in the air, we can�t,> I said grimly.

<You have a plan?>

<Rachel, I have a plan even you will think is insane,> I said. <See that cop car? Going the same general direction as the cab? See the lights on top?>

Rachel laughed. <Okay, that actually is insane. Let�s do it!>

We dove, hurtling down out of the sky. What I had in mind wasn�t exactly subtle. It was dangerous and would make heads turn as we raced through the city streets.

But it could possibly work.

The red lights atop the police car were mounted on a raised bar. There was a light at either end, and a couple of feet of open bar between.

The cab headed east down a major boulevard. So did the police car. They were only doing twenty miles an hour in the traffic, but hawks and eagles can�t just fly long distances in a straight line.

We need to turn, to ride the thermals upward. Even at twenty miles an hour the cab could lose us. Down we swooped, turning height into speed.

Down, down, me slightly in front.

<Rachel, line up behind me, but watch the turbulence from my wings!>

She lined up behind me and we swept down from twenty-something floors up to just above street level, executing a smooth glide path that an airline pilot would have been proud of.

<Keep up your speed!>

<We�re going faster than them, we�ll overshoot,> Rachel cried.

<Are you telling me how to fly?>

<No, sir!> Rachel yelled in that giddy way she gets whenever she�s an inch away from utter disaster. <Hah HAH!>

The cop car moved horizontally. We came down at an angle. The two lines would meet � now!

<Flare!> I swept my wings forward, killed just a hint of my airspeed, opened my talons, spread them wide, and � yes! Snagged the crossbar and held on.

Rachel grabbed with one talon but missed with the other. She folded her wings and the wind current slammed her back.

<Keep your profile!> I cried. <Open your wings. Surf, don�t ride.>

Somehow she made sense of my gibbering. She lunged with her other talon and caught the bar.

She muscled her body forward into a flying profile. She spread her massive wings.

And off we went. A red-tailed hawk and a bald eagle riding the roof of a cop car, wings open, beaks forward, talons straining to take the pressure.

<Now this doesn�t look too strange!> Rachel laughed, still high from the rush of danger.

Drivers behind and beside us stared, mouths open. Some to the point where they barely avoided crashing into one another. But the police beneath us remained oblivious.

<Someone is going to yell to the cops that we�re up here,> I worried.

<Nah,> Rachel reassured me. <No one goes out of their way to attract a cop�s attention while they�re driving. We�ll be saved by people�s guilty consciences.>

One very odd-looking police car continued down the boulevard, shadowing the cab from a distance of three or four car lengths. We rode for two miles that way, till we�d reached the edge of the city, out where the buildings grew smaller, older, and shabbier. We were passing the airport. A big jet
roared by overhead.

And then �

<Ahhhh!>

Red lights swirled all around us. The car surged forward. Wind resistance doubled and I could barely hold on. Then came the siren.

Think police sirens are loud? Try having better-than-human hearing and being eight inches from the siren itself. Then add in four jet engines from a slow-moving jumbo jet.

<Aaaaahhhh! They got a call!>

The cop car took off. In a second we�d pass the cab. No! A sudden turn, and the cab and police car were separating at a rapid clip. Too fast for us to keep our wings open. We were moving at fifty, maybe sixty miles an hour. We closed our wings and hunkered down as close to the bar as we could crouch. I tucked my head low and kept my tail feathers tightly closed.

Now we were just alongside the airport. Another jet, a smaller one this time, was readying for takeoff. But before it gathered speed, something much smaller rose from the tarmac.

A helicopter.

The helicopter lifted off and headed at right angles to us. It was going the same direction as the cab.

 I said.

<No.>

<I�m doing it!> I yelled.

<How do I do it?> Rachel screamed.

<Time it! Release. Just a little tail for lift, barely open your wings, use your head to turn!>

<When?>

<NOW!>

I released my grip. I opened my tail feathers and cocked them ever so slightly upward. So little wing that my wings might as well have been tail fins of a rocket.

And a good thing, too, because I was a rocket.

I blew through the air like a feather missile, catching just enough lift, turning with only a slight movement of my head �

I shot up beneath the helicopter, swerved to match its direction, rolled over on my back, opened my talons, and �
<Ooowwww!> I took the jolt as my talons closed around the strut of the landing skid.

Rachel was just behind me. She turned and opened her talons, but she hadn�t prepared for the severe downdraft of wind from the helicopter�s rotors.

A miss!

Rachel�s talons missed their mark, and she wasn�t going to get another shot.

<I�ll see you later!> I yelled to her.

<Not much later,> she laughed. <Take a look. The cab pulled in down there.>

I had pulled off a completely impossible move. For absolutely no reason.

<It was still way cool,> Rachel said. But she laughed some more as I released my hard-won grip on the helicopter and floated in embarrassment toward the dirt field where the cab was now disgorging Aria.

It was cool. That's reason enough.

Chapter 14

quote:

It took a moment for me to realize what I was looking at. It was a shabby-looking building from the air. But the truth is, most buildings look pretty bad from the air. You just see roofs and air conditioners.

The building itself was one story, but with a false facade that would have made it look much bigger to a person approaching from ground level. It was fronted by a dirt parking lot with a few cars.

In the back was a dirty green lagoon - shallow water bordered by a rickety-looking wooden railing. There were two alligators sunning themselves on the mud banks of this tiny lagoon.

The lot to the left of the building was a liquor store. To the right of the main building, seemingly attached to it, was a miniature golf course. The theme was apparently �pirates.� A plaster pirate ship served as a centerpiece.

<It�s one of those crappy roadside zoo things,> Rachel reported, having swept low enough to see the garish signs clearly. <It�s called �Frank�s Safari Land and Putt-Putt Golf.�>

<Catchy name,> I said.

<It�s just a good thing Cassie isn�t here. She hates these places. I mean, she hates these places. She�d have us go in there and free all the animals.>

<Maybe that�s why Aria is here,> I suggested. <She�s a nature photographer, after all. She must hate places like this, too.>

<Maybe,> Rachel said skeptically.

I banked a turn and went low to check out a sort of marquee that advertised to passing cars. It was one of those signs where they use big plastic letters.

The sign said ALL NEW! DEADLY MIDGET FREAK! THE LIVING RAZOR!

<Oh, man. We have trouble,> I said.

<Will it involve trying to snag onto a helicopter in midair?> Rachel asked with a laugh. <And by the way, it may have been unnecessary, but it was SO cool!>

<�The Living Razor,�> I said, quoting the sign. <�Deadly Midget Freak.�>

<What�s a living razor?> Rachel wondered.

<Don�t know for sure, but I have a bad feeling about this. I think we need to get inside that building.>

<Well, we could demorph to human and walk right in. If we had money for a ticket.>

Demorph to human? Not me. I had to morph to human. I let it go.

<It�s two bucks each,> I said.



<We could always sneak in as cockroaches,> I said. 

<Oh man, I hate doing insects. You know ->

<Uh-oh. I feel a Rachel idea coming on.>

<Oh please, after your idea of riding a cop car then rocketing off to grab a helicopter? You�re going to diss my idea?>
<Ooookay. Fair enough.>


<What?>

<Head for the Putt-Putt pirate ship. We can demorph in there. I�ll be right along.>

With that, Rachel swooped down from the sky on a glide path toward the old man, who was sitting on a stool just outside the door to Frank�s Safari Land.

Talons open, she raked the man�s head.

�Hey!� he yelled. �That�s my hair!�

The big bald eagle flew slow and low, carrying what looked like a dead muskrat, but was in fact the man�s toupee. The man took off after her. I headed for the big plaster pirate ship. A few moments later Rachel joined me, laughing as she demorphed.

<Okay, what did you do with the poor man�s toupee?>

<Well, let�s just say one of those alligators has a whole new look.>

We demorphed inside the dusty, cobwebbed interior of the fake ship and had to squeeze out through a tiny access door. No one stopped us. No one noticed then, or when we walked brazenly through the front door of Frank�s Safari Land.

I mean, technically, as Tobias said, he didn't "demorph", but.

Also, one guess on what "DEADLY MIDGET FREAK! THE LIVING RAZOR!" is.

# ? Jun 17, 2021 04:47

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

absolutely nobody:

nobody at all:

Tobias:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ey_q1QziMU

# ? Jun 17, 2021 05:12

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Just one of those side shows with ~~aliens~~ deformed humans on display in 1990's suburban California.

# ? Jun 17, 2021 05:12

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Acebuckeye13 posted:

absolutely nobody:

nobody at all:

Tobias:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ey_q1QziMU

Alternately, a different aircraft, but not much more ridiculous:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di4CgWtVF7s&t=269s

# ? Jun 17, 2021 05:21

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 15

quote:

Inside it was about what I�d expected. A very sad place. Miserable, unhappy animals in cages a tenth the size they should have been. Dim lighting that was swallowed up by the black-draped walls.

A mangy fox paced restlessly. A pair of lynx slept, crammed into a cage that would have been small for a house cat. There was an aged barn owl, an adolescent deer, a pair of sheep. There was a Shetland pony in a circular pen, saddle on its back, saddle sores plainly visible. A sign said PONY RIDES $2.50.

A small female black bear was in a cage so low she could not rear up to her full height.

Rachel leaned close to whisper in my ear. �I was going to say we shouldn�t tell Cassie about this place, but you know what? Let�s do tell her. She�ll get Jake to go along with stomping this horrible place out of existence. What is the matter with people? I mean, I�m not exactly Ms. Tree-hugging don�t-eat-meat-let-animals-vote, but come on, this sucks. They want to treat a bear like that, I�ll come back here and introduce these dirtbags to a real bear. See if �Frank� can stick my grizzly in a little cage. I�ll cage him!�

I smiled with my human lips. The thing is, I knew Rachel wasn�t exaggerating. If Jake didn�t stop her, the �Frank� of Frank�s Safari was going to be getting a visit from a big, shaggy, very annoyed, seven-foot-tall grizzly bear.

Then we went around a dark corner into a small side room. There stood Aria and a man. I backed away quickly. But not so quickly that I failed to see the occupant of that small room.

There, in a raised cage with two spotlights intersecting on him, was a young Hork-Bajir.

He was only three feet tall, practically a newborn by Hork-Bajir standards. His blades were very sharp, like human baby teeth are, but small and not as rigid or dangerous as an adult�s blades. His tail was stubby, barely formed. The forehead blades were just bumps. His clawed hands were wrapped around the bars of his cage. He was gazing with pathetic hope at Aria.

�Whoa,� Rachel whispered.

�Yeah.�

We glided back out of sight, not that either Aria or the man with her had noticed us.

�Look, lady, I�m not trying to bust your chops here. But if you want to take pictures, that�s extra.�

�But, Mr. Hallowell -�

�Call me Frank.�

�Okay, Frank. I�m a professional nature photographer. I would be happy to give you some copies of the pictures in payment.�

The man sneered. �I need a picture of the freak, I�ll take a Polaroid. Uh-uh. This little monster is going to make me some cash. I�ve already contacted a newspaper. They�re sending a guy out. He decides this is a good freak, he�ll pay thousands.�

Aria hesitated. �And he would � disseminate � these photographs widely? Publish them?�

The man looked at her like she was weird. �Now, what else would he do with them?�

Aria nodded slowly. �Yes. Of course.� She looked again at the young Hork-Bajir and repeated thoughtfully, �Yes, of course.�

�So let me just ask you, lady, since you�re a big nature photographer and all: What is that thing?�

�You don�t know?�

Frank shook his head. �This guy comes driving up with this thing lashed in the back of his pickup truck. Says he saw it out wandering around the side of the highway. Asked me what I�d pay for it. I gave him fifty bucks.�

�You made a good deal,� Aria said. �I�m sure he�s worth more than that.�

�So what is it, that�s what I�d like to know.�

Aria shrugged. �I don�t know. I�ve never seen anything like it. But you know, you shouldn�t call it a �freak.��

�Not politically correct, huh?� Frank said knowingly.

�It�s not that,� Aria said. �It�s just that it�s like nothing I�ve ever seen. No animal I know.� She smiled. �You could present it as an alien and no one would be able to dispute you.�

�Alien, huh?� Frank nodded. �Hey, that�s not a bad idea. Lot of crazy people out there believe in all that UFO, space alien crap.�

�Yes. And while you�re changing things, maybe you could show a little humanity to these animals. They need bigger cages, more light, more fresh air. At the very least.�

�I�ll think on that,� Frank said with an expression that said he�d do no such thing.

Aria turned and walked away, brushing past Rachel and me. I turned my head away so she wouldn�t be able to recognize me later.

We followed Aria at a safe distance, trying to look like we were scoping the caged animals.

Aria stepped out into the bright sun and looked around expectantly.

Seconds later, a black limousine came tearing into the dirt parking lot, raising a cloud of dust. The limo pulled to a stop and the driver jumped out to open the door for her.

I stared with my weak human eyes as she stepped in and sat down. For a moment the door remained open and I could see her as clearly as human eyes would allow.

She was looking in our direction, but could not see us. She was in sunlight and we were in dark shadow.

Aria gazed thoughtfully up at the Frank�s Safari sign. There was a flicker of a smile, but no more.

�Who are you?� I whispered.

The driver shut the door and she was gone.

So Aria has a limo? Also, marketing Bek as an alien is a good strategy.

Chapter 16

quote:

There wasn�t a lot of debate back at the barn that evening about what to do with the baby Hork- Bajir.

�We go in and get him,� Jake said.

�It could be a trap,� Marco pointed out. �This Aria person could still be a Controller. This could all be a setup.�

I wanted to ask why a Controller would care about the conditions of the animals in that hideous zoo. But I didn�t. I guess I�ve gotten so I say less and less. Sometimes all the communicating that people do just seems irrelevant. Action is what counts.

Jake nodded. �We have to act on the assumption that this is a trap. We�ll divide our forces. Group A goes in, Group B hangs back.�

Marco smirked to Rachel. �He�s just so Patton.�

Jake grinned and aimed a punch at Marco�s shoulder.

Then followed one of the more bizarre parts of Animorph life: Jake, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco all sat down in the hay of the barn, whipped open their backpacks, and pulled out books and notebooks.

Homework. I guess when you�re fully human and a kid, there�s just no escaping homework.

Ax looked over Cassie�s shoulder at her science textbook. <But that�s not true,> he kept muttering. <That�s not at all how gravity works.>

I love Ax's general disdain and bafflement with modern science.

quote:

I sat comfortably in the rafters and eavesdropped on Jake�s homework. I still enjoy reading when I get a chance. Sometimes I�ll go to the park or the beach, places where people read out in the open. I�ll find a nice updraft or steady breeze, float fifty or sixty feet up, and read over someone�s shoulder.

I�ve read a lot of John Grisham and Stephen King and Nora Roberts. Not whole books, unfortunately, but pages and occasionally whole chapters.

Now I sat reading over Jake�s shoulder. And when that grew dull, I fluttered over to spy on Rachel�s book.

Then, at last, it was time to go.

<If you would really like to understand the laws of motion as they apply at the quantum level, and how they relate to both gravity and what we Andalites call the seventh force, then ->

Cassie laughed and put a hand on Ax�s arm. �Ax, it must be hard not having anyone around to discuss things on your level.�

He looked disconcerted. he said lamely.

�Okay, everyone cool with their parents?� Jake asked.

�Yes, all the right lies have been told,� Cassie said, shaking her head regretfully. �Everyone is over at someone else�s house. As usual.�

�Well, this won�t take long,� Rachel said.

The others morphed to various bird morphs and we flew to Frank�s Safari Land. The sign had been changed. It now cried out that Frank�s had the first ever actual space alien. It was working. The lot was filled with a dozen cars.

I was in Group A, along with Rachel. We were the two who were familiar with the place. Also with us was Jake. Cassie, Ax, and Marco were backup, ready to come in if things went wrong.

We landed and demorphed just outside the alligator lagoon. It was dark, but not pitch-black. A hint of dying sun still glowed in the west. The moon wasn�t out, but the sky was full of stars.

The others demorphed. I waited. I was going to a morph I�d only used once: Hork-Bajir.

Normally I would never use the Hork-Bajir morph. Hork-Bajir are sentient creatures. We have a rule about morphing humans or other free, sentient species. We�re not the Yeerks, after all. We don�t just go around taking and using the DNA of free people.

But this was a unique case. We needed Bek, the Hork-Bajir child, to come with us willingly. And I knew that Ket Halpak - whose DNA was the basis for my morph - would not object at all.

�Okay,� Jake whispered. �One more time. I go in human and turn off the main power switch so we have darkness. Rachel morphs and as soon as the power goes out, she goes in and removes the back wall. Tobias? You stay here in the dark till Rachel says go. Then you run in, snatch the kid, and run back out. Cassie will be ready to take him after that. We get him a quarter-mile down the back road to the cornfield. All clear?�

Rachel winked at me. �You know, Marco�s right. He�s gotten so Patton.�

�Oh, shut up,� Jake said good-naturedly. Jake remained human and began to walk carefully around the outer fence of the alligator lagoon.

�Hey, did Jake say knock down one wall? Or did he say knock down some walls?� Rachel asked, dripping with fake innocence.

<You know perfectly well he just wants you to get us into that place. He did not say you should knock the whole place down just because Frank is a creep and he mistreats animals,> I said sternly. <On the other hand, it is dark. You might get confused �>

Rachel laughed her slightly insane, ready-for-a-fight laugh. �Yeah. I might.�

She began to morph an elephant. Now, earlier when I said it was kind of cool watching Rachel go to eagle? It�s not the same, watching her turn into an elephant. There is nothing even slightly attractive about it.

For one thing, there is the way she grows. In sudden lumps of flesh that pop out of her thighs, her stomach, even her head. It is disturbing to see a lump of gray flesh the size of a refrigerator bulge out of the side of someone�s head.

She lumped and bumped and glooped her way from being a normal-sized girl to being a shapeless behemoth. Her legs became pillars. So did her arms. Her elephant feet sank into the damp soil.

She was grinning at me when her white teeth seemed to flow together and then sprout out and out like a spear coming at me. They curved up to a point: a pair of tusks.

Her nose began to hang down like it was running, then like it was melting, then it began to thicken and darken and grow. Of course, by then the beach-blanket-sized ears were already formed.

The last part of Rachel to disappear entirely was her hair. For several seconds she looked exactly like an elephant wearing a blond wig.

All this time, I had started morphing as well.

It�s strange morphing anything. I mean, no matter what you become it is a nightmare. Just imagine watching your own flesh squirm and melt and wither, shrink or swell. Imagine hearing your own internal organs go watery and squish away. Imagine having body parts you�ve never had before, and a brain that knows how to use them.

Morphing is always a freak show. But there is a special quality to morphing a nonterrestrial animal. According to Ax, DNA is a very common thing in the galaxy. That same double helix of atoms forms the blueprint for all of life on Earth and almost all life-forms elsewhere.

But beyond that, there aren�t a lot of similarities between alien bodies and say, humans. Real life turns out not to be like Star Trek. Aliens are not just humans wearing funny ears, nose putty, and costumes.

There is nothing remotely human about a Hork-Bajir. What�s weird is there are slight similarities between hawks and Hork-Bajir.

The taloned feet are very much alike. The almost beaklike mouth is similar. And � well, that�s about it for similarity.

Hork-Bajir are huge. Seven feet tall. Where my bones are hollow and light, theirs are thick and dense as steel. Where my insides are built for digesting raw meat, a fairly simple job, theirs are infinitely more complex to allow them to digest tree bark.

And while I have some natural weapons - beak and talons - the Hork-Bajir are a natural weapon. The claws that allow them to climb the skyscraper-sized trees of their home world, the wrist and elbow and forehead blades that allow them to scrape the bark from those trees, can all be used as
weapons. But the Hork-Bajir had never used them as weapons until the Yeerks and the Andalites brought their war to the Hork-Bajir world.

I grew and grew. Grew till I could almost look Rachel straight in the eye. My talons became Tyrannosaurus feet. My mouth grew teeth, sharp ones for cutting bark and serrated molars for grinding it up.

My wings lost their feathers and extended out and out. Hands grew where my �finger� bones had been. Muscle covered my entire body. And from that muscle the bony projections of blades grew.

<Well, we�re a nice-looking couple,> Rachel said. <Let�s go to the dance.>

I heard a noise. Car engines racing, brakes screeching. Then car doors slamming. Several. Many. I shot a look toward the parking lot, but it was mostly blocked from view.

And at that moment the lights of Frank�s Safari Land went out.

<Show time,> Rachel said and laughed her wild laugh.