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sharknado slashfic)
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Dolphin posted:i got abducted. i was walking home and they pulled me up with a beam and they were all just drunk as gently caress and laughing their asses off pretending to be people, they all introduced themselves as human names, one was bob the other was dwayne. they let me fly the ship but then revealed that the controls don't do anything and laughed at me some more and then sent me back down but the beam zapped my clothes off and i had to walk a mile home naked poo poo, hopefully that stinky gently caress wasn't there
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Jun 22, 2021 23:41
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| # ? May 24, 2024 18:04 |
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a barely comprehensible being ascends the podium at the un and emits a combination of light and low frequency soundwaves that vibrate in you but not your glass of water. after an unknowable amount of time your headphones crackle to life and a familiar voice in your language utters "alright first off shout out to ghosts."
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Jun 22, 2021 23:41
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I think at this point with the accumulated evidence its fair to say that this actually an interdimensional physical challenge game show wherein you navigate an aggro-crag style pile of cuboid foam to be the first to hit the button. Now heres the twist, in order to complete the challenge you must first create it, de novo. So, our reality from the big bang onward has been constructed by one of these teams who have shaped the universe in such a way as to create earth and then tended to geology so as to create a species with an appreciation for piles of things. Ancient aliens theory is correct but misses the picture entirely, the aliens did in fact help early humans build the pyramids and other various crag-likes but only in order to plant such shapes in our sub-conscious for the day when cuboid foam and roaring audiences will allow the corporeation of our alien-creator-god-contestants. The UAPs are drone cameras, there seeming explosion lately is due to a certain warehouse in a certain lot in hollywood CA where deliveries of cuboid foam thrum with power. We near the apotheosis of existence friends.
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Jun 22, 2021 23:42
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OrangéJéllo posted:I think at this point with the accumulated evidence its fair to say that this actually an interdimensional physical challenge game show wherein you navigate an aggro-crag style pile of cuboid foam to be the first to hit the button. Now heres the twist, in order to complete the challenge you must first create it, de novo. So, our reality from the big bang onward has been constructed by one of these teams who have shaped the universe in such a way as to create earth and then tended to geology so as to create a species with an appreciation for piles of things. Ancient aliens theory is correct but misses the picture entirely, the aliens did in fact help early humans build the pyramids and other various crag-likes but only in order to plant such shapes in our sub-conscious for the day when cuboid foam and roaring audiences will allow the corporeation of our alien-creator-god-contestants. The UAPs are drone cameras, there seeming explosion lately is due to a certain warehouse in a certain lot in hollywood CA where deliveries of cuboid foam thrum with power. We near the apotheosis of existence friends. So the aliens are watching me jack off. I knew it!
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Jun 22, 2021 23:44
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OrangéJéllo posted:I think at this point with the accumulated evidence its fair to say that this actually an interdimensional physical challenge game show wherein you navigate an aggro-crag style pile of cuboid foam to be the first to hit the button. Now heres the twist, in order to complete the challenge you must first create it, de novo. So, our reality from the big bang onward has been constructed by one of these teams who have shaped the universe in such a way as to create earth and then tended to geology so as to create a species with an appreciation for piles of things. Ancient aliens theory is correct but misses the picture entirely, the aliens did in fact help early humans build the pyramids and other various crag-likes but only in order to plant such shapes in our sub-conscious for the day when cuboid foam and roaring audiences will allow the corporeation of our alien-creator-god-contestants. The UAPs are drone cameras, there seeming explosion lately is due to a certain warehouse in a certain lot in hollywood CA where deliveries of cuboid foam thrum with power. We near the apotheosis of existence friends. The Saucer Hovers posted:a barely comprehensible being ascends the podium at the un and emits a combination of light and low frequency soundwaves that vibrate in you but not your glass of water. after an unknowable amount of time your headphones crackle to life and a familiar voice in your language utters "alright first off shout out to ghosts."
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Jun 22, 2021 23:46
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my understanding is the aliens just really really like beer. they were loving WASTED
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Jun 22, 2021 23:47
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Bideo James posted:So the aliens are watching me jack off. I knew it! Yes, but only in the sense you watch the electrons flowing in the clock you stare at, you jackhammering your salami for hours as the neighbors angrily scream at your window that you need to balance your washing machine is an absolutely necessary occurrence for the omni-crag to come to be. OrangéJéllo has issued a correction as of 23:52 on Jun 22, 2021 |
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Jun 22, 2021 23:47
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  i dig that there are multiple big ufo dates that have been kicking around a while, seeming independent but all pointing to this summer. I keep thinking of art bell's ~*~the quickening~*~ Delta-Wye has issued a correction as of 00:14 on Jun 23, 2021 |
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Jun 22, 2021 23:55
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Jun 22, 2021 23:58
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OrangéJéllo posted:I think at this point with the accumulated evidence its fair to say that this actually an interdimensional physical challenge game show wherein you navigate an aggro-crag style pile of cuboid foam to be the first to hit the button. Now heres the twist, in order to complete the challenge you must first create it, de novo. So, our reality from the big bang onward has been constructed by one of these teams who have shaped the universe in such a way as to create earth and then tended to geology so as to create a species with an appreciation for piles of things. Ancient aliens theory is correct but misses the picture entirely, the aliens did in fact help early humans build the pyramids and other various crag-likes but only in order to plant such shapes in our sub-conscious for the day when cuboid foam and roaring audiences will allow the corporeation of our alien-creator-god-contestants. The UAPs are drone cameras, there seeming explosion lately is due to a certain warehouse in a certain lot in hollywood CA where deliveries of cuboid foam thrum with power. We near the apotheosis of existence friends. this is why they never actually let the kids keep those shards of the Crag itself....... edit: lol sup dude
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Jun 23, 2021 00:00
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I found the issue, aliens have dementia.
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Jun 23, 2021 00:00
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Wheeee posted:our boy lue did another interview this morning and you should listen to the final question https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fwZY6aJIyM&t=693s Remote viewing?
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Jun 23, 2021 00:14
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ive seen this shanghai ufo shot before: https://twitter.com/Today__China/status/1407163717230358540 apparently there are two and this one is similar but new to me, and you can see the central business district for a sense of scale. big ol triangle, whatever it is https://twitter.com/Today__China/status/1407167218387804164
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Jun 23, 2021 00:24
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So the pyramids were some kind of parking deck, and we didn't keep up with infrastructure repairs.
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Jun 23, 2021 00:39
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WEH posted:Figured out why they stopped contacting us Putting this one on the "Earth has been prime directive'd and we're only visited by researchers, smugglers, and drunk alien fratboys" evidence pile
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Jun 23, 2021 00:41
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The Saucer Hovers posted:a barely comprehensible being ascends the podium at the un and emits a combination of light and low frequency soundwaves that vibrate in you but not your glass of water. after an unknowable amount of time your headphones crackle to life and a familiar voice in your language utters "alright first off shout out to ghosts." An alien space craft lands on the White House lawn, greeted by Biden and the entire media apparatus. A party of greys emerge, chosen due to their long study of earth culture and diplomatic prowess. The first contact is stuffy, carefully worded speeches, but soon the softer side of the long planned disclosure begins. A media blitz occurs, with aliens showing themselves everywhere; the clear message is that they may be different, but really we're all the same. Finally, on a late night talk show, Jimmy Kimmel cracks a "joke" to his guests Gleep and Glorp. "So, it was your flying saucers buzzing the carrier groups, huh?" Gleep laughs, long and hard, in that buzzing not-quite-human way the greys have. "You guys have those crazies too, huh? Next you're going to ask me about the probing." Glorp turns to them, angry. "Don't laugh! My uncle saw one once! The galactic federation is going to release a report any spacemonth on them!"
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Jun 23, 2021 00:50
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what if covid was a test to see who could go live inside a spaceship for extended periods
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Jun 23, 2021 01:20
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salt in every bowl, and a cow in every pot
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Jun 23, 2021 01:21
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A MIRACLE posted:what if covid was a test to see who could go live inside a spaceship for extended periods NASA paid people a bunch of money to stay in their bed for a month iirc
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Jun 23, 2021 01:22
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a huge comet that came in sometime in the late Middle Ages and broke up is responsible for the majority of the sun grazing comets we see today. would be super rad if this one turns out similarly b/c all the descriptions of the original sound way cool with the tail stretching across the sky visible even in daylight
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Jun 23, 2021 01:29
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NUFORC posted:Occurred : 5/15/1968 14:00
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Jun 23, 2021 01:31
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Bideo James posted:poo poo, hopefully that stinky gently caress wasn't there let's just say, the aliens abducted a bunch of lemons after
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Jun 23, 2021 01:49
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souls are real aliens are real extra-dimensional realities are real ESP is real remote viewing is real wrap it up skepticailures
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Jun 23, 2021 01:51
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maybe we are the ayy lmaooos 
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Jun 23, 2021 01:59
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Tekne posted:maybe we are the ayy lmaooos lol this is real as gently caress too
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Jun 23, 2021 02:00
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did you ever think about how we're actually the aliens to the aliens
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Jun 23, 2021 02:01
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a few DRUNK BONERS posted:did you ever think about how we're actually the aliens to the aliens 
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Jun 23, 2021 02:02
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a few DRUNK BONERS posted:did you ever think about how we're actually the aliens to the aliens if that's the case we're both bored as a people and will benefit from disclosure
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Jun 23, 2021 02:06
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we need to disclose ourselves, our minds
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Jun 23, 2021 02:08
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a few DRUNK BONERS posted:we need to disclose ourselves, our minds im not allowed to disclose myself anymore court order
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Jun 23, 2021 02:13
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Delta-Wye posted:im not allowed to disclose myself anymore Got caught showing your rod and saucers?
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Jun 23, 2021 02:15
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Good Soldier Svejk posted:Got caught showing your rod and saucers? nah his little tiny tic tac
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Jun 23, 2021 02:16
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neutral milf hotel posted:decided to read this thread from the start. this part is wild lol there's another wild part in a followup comment (again, posted 7 years ago) https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1r034d/alien_abductees_of_reddit_or_people_who_have/cdj7klm/ quote:I have never seen the big ship from the outside, so I don't know what it looks like. The little ships don't have windows, so I can't see out. The little ships are the shape of hot dogs, sort of. Boy, this sounds stupid, but kind of like VW microbus vans, but a little bit bigger. The outside is a kind of gun metal blue that looks wet, glassy. They use those to come to Earth.
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Jun 23, 2021 02:37
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Throwawaylien came out as a spoof/hoax/joke I believe.
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Jun 23, 2021 02:46
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Lampsacus posted:Throwawaylien came out as a spoof/hoax/joke I believe. The traveler did. Throawayalien just deleted everything
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Jun 23, 2021 02:50
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I wonder how many aliens Elizondo has waterboarded
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Jun 23, 2021 02:52
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Jun 23, 2021 02:53
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they could be watching us, or reading this thread, right now
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Jun 23, 2021 02:53
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Got a little too excited about the ufos recently, a little too crack-pinged as they say, ended up having an existential crises where I psychically contacted one of them and I got a response back. It was friendly, I think? Since then I've gotten completely sober, took some time off work to relax, been extremely serious about having a healthy sleep schedule, reviewed how to get a therapist if I need one, and am happy to report no further psychic contacts other than a dream where a UFO flew overhead and sent down some friendly vibes. Not worried about the dream; between withdrawing from weed and all the time I spent obsessing over this stuff it'd be weird if I didn't have at least one dream about the UFO's. This was a lot more exciting than my usual mental breakdowns and it's made me a better person so I'm grateful to the aliens (real or not) for that. And if the psychic stuff turns out to be real as well I'll try and pass along a good word for the thread. By the way, Elizondo says a lot of crazy stuff in podcasts. He says there was ancient alien contact, that souls are real, psychic powers are real, aliens walk among us, some aliens aren't limited by time, consciousness is an observable energy, and so on. https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/nkrcyi/recent_elizondo_interviews_give_more_information/ https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/ldm6ob/pentagon_official_elizondo_makes_statements/
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Jun 23, 2021 02:54
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| # ? May 24, 2024 18:04 |
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Wheeee posted:I wonder how many aliens Elizondo has waterboarded BrutalistMcDonalds posted:they could be watching us, or reading this thread, right now i hope its entertaining somebody 
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Jun 23, 2021 02:55
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