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This thread is always going to unexpected places.
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# ? Jun 30, 2021 08:43 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:54 |
I promise, you have no f u c k i n g idea where this book is going to end up.
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# ? Jun 30, 2021 08:47 |
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"Moose-like" is great (at least to me) here because of how unexpected it is! It makes me think the person is tall, gangly, and dark, maybe with big ears.
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# ? Jun 30, 2021 12:33 |
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In the past, spy stuff attracted people with tenuous grips on reality, especially fabulists who lived serial cons. It’s great, because you can explain away anything by referring to James Bond and a “secret mission.” These days, it’s all people pretending to be Spec Ops or seals.
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# ? Jun 30, 2021 14:20 |
Chapter 2: Welcome Back, Mr. Bondquote:The first lights of the Virgin Islands gleamed below TWA Flight 123B in the darkness. The air brakes grumbled down, the undercarriage thudded into place; St. Thomas lay straight ahead. "Really, the ice cream? The ants? The Goodyear blimp? This is already too much." quote:During this period the Secret Service was under fire from the politicians and there was fresh talk on purges from security. The Double-0 section had come under frequent criticism as a source of provocation to the enemy, and M. was tired of defending it. The rumors of disbanding the section naturally irritated M. and worried Bond: without his Double-0 rating, it was doubtful whether he would wish to stay within the Secret Service. Then on top of this came the big reshuffle at the Regents Park Headquarters just after New Year's. For Bond, a true conservative at heart, the shake-up was far more disturbing than he cared to admit. As you can immediately tell, this is a completely independent Bond continuity. Rather than Gardner disbanding the Double-O section but keeping Bond as 007 just because, Bond is still properly 007 in this timeline. quote:M.'s office was moved up from the sixth to the seventh floor, and Bond, to his horror, found himself divorced from his office which he shared with 008 and 0011, and relegated to a small, grey-painted hencoop of a place. In the circumstances, the move seemed ominous. Not Jamaica, though. Bad on you, Hatfield! Already showing how you can't research! quote:The night air was warm and scented. Stepping down the aircraft was like the beginning of a dream for M. There were palm trees beside the airport building, hibiscus and azaleas in bloom. For the first time, M. actually envied Bond. One really couldn't blame him for settling for the soft life at last. He'd earned every bit of luxury he got. In his defense, we're already seeing more of M in this book than Gardner's. quote:"Commander Bond asked me, sir, to kindly welcome you and tell you to treat this place as your own home. When you are ready, sir, say in half an hour, please ring for me and I will take you to Commander Bond." This version of M most closely resembles Bernard Lee, who occasionally wore bow ties like this. At the point Hatfield wrote this book, Lee had been dead for several years and was replaced by Robert Brown, who stuck to very conservative suits with standard neckties. However, it also resembles the dress of one very important person: Fleming was known for giving some of his quirky dressing habits (such as short-sleeved shirts with suits) to Bond, but one that he kept to himself was a preference for bow ties. By the 1930s, bow ties had become viewed as especially old fashioned on both sides of the pond, and in England were more of a sign of stodgy old men. However, they also could be used to give the impression of a man who doesn't take his image among others seriously and refuses to conform. Fleming, despite his stereotypically conservative British appearance, was a man who enjoyed drag shows, sex clubs, and international tourism with as much alcohol as he could get in him. Personal accounts of him, and his non-Bond writings, indicate a party fiend who was always chasing the next interesting adventure. quote:"Augustus here, sir. Bringing your guest up now." Note the brackets around the quotation mark there. Universal Exports added that. I don't know if it was correcting a transcribing error from the source they used, or if that's a mistake from Hatfield's self-published novel. quote:Bond laughed and produced a familiar object from a gun-metal cigarette case. "The first today," he said. "I hope you weren't expecting Morlands Specials. Officially I have given up, but one can't be too strict about these things. They are the latest denicotined and absolutely revolting." David Salter, who's written for Literary 007, actually got to visit Morland of Grosvenor Street before their closure around 1972 and get the special Bond blend specified in Fleming's book when they sold them as a tie-in. Sadly, they were reported to not be very good after Fleming's death; Morland & Co. was a luxury tobacconist that made everything by hand, and the demand for "Three Rings" cigarettes was overwhelming. The resulting blend ended up inferior to mass produced cigarettes, so inconsistently made that some had tobacco falling out the end when lifted. quote:"Miss Moneypenny sends a loving kiss." Trust me, Bond, I can't believe it either! quote:The metamorphose would have continued, but at that moment Augustus appeared. "Are you gentlemen ready for dinner, Commander?" he asked politely. I wasn't kidding when I said Hatfield wrote what's basically an 80s pulp action book. quote:"Something to quench the thirst, sir?" Bond asked M., his blue-grey eyes following the shapely rears of women coming up from the beach for dinner. A bottle of Mouton Rothschild that old would likely be multiple thousands of dollars in modern money. quote:After drinks arrived, M. had a chance to observe Bond more carefully. He was, if anything, taller and slightly thinner than he had remembered him a year before; the arms below the short sleeves sinewy rather than muscular. What would one have thought of him from first impressions? A colonial administrator here on convalescent leave? An aging playboy between marriages? Only the face might make one wonder - that bronzed Scottish face whose hardness seemed so out of place among the lush surroundings; a hardness made up of new walls built around himself since his traumatic ordeals of the past years. The death of his wife, Tracy; the fight with Blofeld in Japan; the subsequent year of amnesia; the brainwashing ordeal in Russia; the assassination attempt on M.; and the fight against death after Scaramanga's poison-tipped bullet almost eliminated the agent forever - all had a toll on Bond. He was in a new cycle of his life. Along with being in its own separate continuity, Hatfield's Bond has a similarly ambiguous timeframe as Gardner's. Like Sean Connery in Never Say Never Again at this time, Bond would be around 60 if he kept the same age as his Fleming incarnation, but he's only a little gray and there's no real signs of serious aging. quote:Bond's sardonic mouth relaxed, the cruel eyes softened and he asked M. to explain the tragedy concerning Bill Tanner's disappearance. As befitting Hatfield's "Pulp, but make it Bond" plot design, this is indeed a very dirty plot. While Bond briefly dealt with drugs in the prologue to Goldfinger, this book's plot goes more into the style of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando. quote:Bond noted M.'s commanding voice was calm. Only the way he gripped his pipe revealed a little of the tension that he felt. "Until recently," he continued, "many Latin American countries shrugged off their drug traffickers, partly because they viewed narcotics as other countries' problems, and partly because they were more worried about left-wing terrorists and guerrillas. That attitude is giving way to a sense of alarm. There is hardly an area of political activity or institutional life that in some way has not been affected by drug corruption. The drug lords have vowed to kill Colombian officials from the president on down and we have recently learned that they've offered one million dollars to anyone who will kidnap our own Prime Minister or other Cabinet Members. Evidently, the kingpins want to exchange the PM for six Colombian accused traffickers now in custody in London." I'm leaving all errors (that should be "Shining Path") intact here, as I legitimately have no way of knowing if they're an actual part of Hatfield's book. Since only two print copies are known to exist, I obviously have no way of immediately checking. Hm. Maybe I should email Cox. quote:Bond lit another cigarette, half-filled his glass with ice and added three fingers of vodka. He then drank it down in two long draughts, feeling its friendly bite at the back of his throat and in his stomach. "Where did Bill figure into all of this?" he asked M. through a veil of pipe and cigarette smoke. Notice how I didn't point out the casual reference to Klaus Doberman before. If you were just skimming these passages, did you even notice? It's an incredibly odd decision for Hatfield to just stuff a brief reference of him in the middle of long exposition without drawing attention to it, especially since he just loving killed Tanner. quote:Bond drank the cigarette's smoke into his lungs and expelled it slowly through his nostrils. "Do we have any leads to Bill's whereabouts?"
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# ? Jun 30, 2021 18:51 |
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This is actually pretty good so far. Maybe it's just because we're coming right off of last crap, but it's way more coherent and captures the characters better.
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 02:11 |
You’re about to learn his secret!
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 03:44 |
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poisonpill posted:This is actually pretty good so far. Maybe it's just because we're coming right off of last crap, but it's way more coherent and captures the characters better. I'll agree, this is pretty tight. I'm looking forward to the secret. I do disagree about the oddity of dropping a reference to Klaus into exposition unheralded. It's throwing a bone to the audience as a reward for paying attention from chapter to chapter. When M drops the name, we lean forward in our seats, knowing a major bad guy we'll see again has made their second appearance.
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 04:26 |
Chapter 3: Dossier of a New Enemyquote:TO: Special Services Agent, 007. While not physically, Klaus Doberman's basic summary bears a close resemblance to two infamous drug lords of the time. The first is Pablo Escobar. He was a criminal from a young age, coming from a normal background but leaving university to sell fake lottery tickets and high school diplomas, before advancing to armed robbery and serving as a bodyguard for other criminal leaders. Beginning in the mid-70s, Escobar began expanding a massive aircraft-based smuggling operation. In 1976, after failing to bribe the judges who were forming a case against him for cocaine smuggling, Escobar had them murdered. This would become his usual pattern for handling problems. Escobar was a millionaire before he was 30, co-founding the Medellín Cartel with Carlos Lehder (who we'll cover next). Lehder purchased Norman's Cay, a Bahamian island 220 miles southeast of Florida, to use as their main base. The elaborate base included an airstrip, a harbor, a hotel, houses, and a refrigerated warehouse to store their coke. At the time the book takes place, Escobar has recently become a member of the Chamber of Representatives of Colombia and is rapidly gaining notoriety. At the height of his power, after this book's publication, Escobar would become viewed as a hero to the Medellín community. The ruthless murderer would also build sports stadiums and housing, sponsor children's football teams, and give away money like it was candy (an easy way to get rid of it, especially since he had so much cash that he had to store it in warehouses and he was suffering losses to rats eating the piles). After taking power in 1990, President César Gaviria began working to stamp out the cartels and negotiated with Escobar to surrender for a reduced sentence. He was given his own luxurious private prison, La Catedral, which was more of a hotel (including a jacuzzi, bar, and private phone line). While Escobar was supposed to only serve 5 years in this cushy spot in exchange for not being extradited to the United States, Colombian authorities discovered he had been continuing to operate the cartel and order murders. Escobar found out that his deal was being canceled and he was on his way to real prison, leading him to escape only a year into his sentence. The US United States Joint Special Operations Command and Centra Spike joined the hunt, training the Colombian Search Bloc team formed to find him. At the same time, Escobar's enemies formed a vigilante group to destroy his cartel, Los Pepes. Escobar's escape turned into a bloody war as the Search Bloc teamed up with Los Pepes, with American operatives even moonlighting in disguise as them for operations in the field. After 16 months, Escobar's hiding place was found in a barrio. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXQpk2ZB3kc In a scene so worthy of film that it was immortalized in Narcos, Escobar and his bodyguard fled across the rooftops in a running gun battle with the Search Bloc team. Both were gunned down, with Escobar fatally shot through the ear in what may have been an execution. quote:DESCRIPTION: Age about thirty-five. Height six foot, three inches. Slim and fit. Eyes blue, right eye blind since horseback riding accident at age twelve: Hair, white-blonde, shoulder-length, worn sometimes in ponytail fashion. Gaunt, sombre face. Ears very flat to the head. Ambidextrous. Hands very small and immaculately manicured. Distinguishing characteristics: wears black patch over right eye at all times. Is an insatiable but indiscriminate homosexual who invariably has sexual intercourse on a daily basis. quote:BACKGROUND DETAILS: Doberman has become Colombia's cocaine overlord and almost as rich and powerful as the Colombian government itself. From a heavily armed stronghold deep in the Andes Mountains, he refines and smuggles two billion dollars a year in cocaine to the United States and the rest of the world. To protect his extensive interests, Doberman has formed his own cartel, buying as many opponents as he can, murdering some of those he can't. Here's the fusion with the other founder of the Medellín Cartel: Carlos Lehder. Lehder was of German-Colombian descent, though his father was an engineer rather than a Nazi (his family still faced suspicion during World War II and were investigated for potential Nazi ties). When he was 15, in 1964, his parents divorced and Lehder moved with his mother to New York. Like Doberman, he was involved in smuggling stolen cars (with Canada this time) and selling marijuana. His cellmate in prison when he got caught happened to be George Jung, "El Americano", who would later be played in Blow by Johnny Depp. Jung had experience smuggling marijuana with light aircraft, so the two partnered to enter the cocaine business. After building up enough money to buy a stolen airplane and hire a pilot, they began smuggling cocaine through the Bahamas. The megalomaniacal Lehder purchased Norman's Cay as his decadent headquarters, with Jung moving on to work for Escobar. Escobar purchased much of the land on the island and the cartel turned Norman's Cay into the undisputed supervillain lair of cocaine trafficking. Infamous criminal financier Robert Vescoe entered a partnership with him. And yes, Lehder got some Doberman attack dogs for security. Lehder's downfall occurred years before Escobar's. When the Colombian Minister of Justice Rodrigo Lara Bonilla was assassinated, the Colombian government became willing to extradite cartel members to the United States. Lehder, who was extremely obvious in all of his activities, was a good target to grab. They froze his bank accounts and he was captured shortly after, possibly due to Escobar leaking his location to get him out of the picture. Lehder was extradited to the United States and spilled the beans on a lot of cartel information, resulting in violent cartel wars that would eventually lead to Escobar's death. Lehder is, amazingly, still alive. A year ago, he was released from prison and sent to Germany due to a relapse of prostate cancer. quote:In 1979, we learned that Doberman had purchased Norman's Cay in the Bahamas. He was listed as the president of Air Montes, a Bahamian corporation; but we were convinced that his real business was ferrying marijuana and cocaine from Colombia to the United States. He built a 3,300-foot runway protected by radar, bodyguards and namesake attack dogs. He also commanded a fleet of aircraft - some bought, according to an informant, through an associate of the Bahamas' Prime Minister. The allegation has not been proved, and the PM has denied any involvement with Doberman. While in the Bahamas, he lives in a sprawling villa. He owns a yacht, nineteen cars and four motorcycles. Another informant states that Doberman spends his time there with fugitive financier Robert Vescoe, wandering around Norman's Cay shooting automatic weapons at lizards and coconuts. As if it couldn't be obvious enough. This is practically a copy of the Wikipedia article. After Lehder lost control of Norman's Cay in 1987, the government seized ownership of the island. A massive number of wealthy people and conglomerates have owned it since, though it remains mostly undeveloped. The oddest connection this thread will have is, perhaps, to Fyre Festival. Conman Billy McFarland and terrible rapper Ja Rule teamed up to put together a very expensive music festival on a private island for the children of millionaires to come party and do lots of drugs. McFarland's first attempt was to lease Norman's Cay, which he was allowed to do as long as he didn't mention Pablo Escobar. Because McFarland is an idiot, he immediately tried to advertise the island as "formerly owned by Pablo Escobar." The owners immediately canceled the agreement, forcing McFarland to shift to Great Exuma. And, well, we all know what happened with Fyre Festival. quote:In 1981, he was suspected as the source of 1,197 pounds of cocaine seized in New Iberia, Louisiana. When Customs officials in Miami made the largest U.S. cocaine seizure ever - 3,800 pounds found in a shipment of blue jeans on a plane from Colombia - Doberman was once again suspected. In 1982, he and five other men were arrested in Cartegena for selling 6,450 pounds of cocaine paste. They were never convicted: two of the policemen who apprehended them were assassinated, and the arrest record disappeared from the courthouse. About that time he purchased a farm at La Tebaida, just outside the Colombian city of Armenia. He bought out a local newspaper, the Quinidia Libre, which he used to make strident attacks on U.S., British and Colombian officials. He also indulged his taste for wild parties and young men. At his private resort, the Hotel Posada Alemana, he built a discoteca dedicated to John Lennon; its centerpiece was a statue of Lennon, nude except for a helmet and a guitar - with a bullet hole through the heart. Young men flocked to his side, attracted by his movie-star looks and charisma. And guess what else Lehder had on his island? quote:Doberman has another bizarre obsession - Adolf Hitler. He recently called Hitler "the greatest warrior in history"; he also stated that all Jews killed by his father and other Nazis during World War II had "died only working in the fields and the factories." To forward his views he formed a fanatically nationalist political party, The Order. Hundreds of people went to Doberman's "patriotic Saturday" rallies - drawn, according to some reports, by five hundred and one thousand peso notes handed out at the gate. Doberman is also responsible for funding a right-wing paramilitary group called The Legion of Doom, which is charged with killing dozens of leftists and labor organizers; it is also said to number former police and military officials among its ranks. Likewise, Lehder was a vicious antisemite who formed a Neo-Nazi political movement, the National Latin Movement. It's believed to have been mostly about trying to force Colombia to abrogate their extradition treaty with the United States. quote:After the Colombian President vowed to begin enforcing a two-year-old extradition treaty with the United States and England last spring, Doberman went underground. For two years the Colombian President has ignored the extradition treaty on the ground that it violated national sovereignty. But Doberman made the costly mistake of having the Colombian Justice Minister assassinated because of his public crusade against his drug smuggling. In April, hired killers headed by a Chinese hitman named Fuji Chen, machine-gunned the Justice Minister to death on a Bogota street. Doberman never claimed responsibility, but he is universally believed to have financed the assassination. The murder outraged many Colombians who had seen Doberman as an appealing hero battling against the country's entrenched elites. More important, it enraged the Colombian President, who at the Justice Minister's gravesite, vowed to uphold the treaty. He declared a state of siege and went on television to proclaim "a war without quarter" on Doberman. Since this plot is pretty much ripped straight from the headlines with a fictional stand-in for Lehder, that paragraph is almost directly referring to Rodrigo Lara Bonilla's assassination in 1984, likely around the time this book was written or shortly before it. Rather than being shot on the street, a hitman riding on the back of a motorcycle drove past his vehicle convoy with an Uzi and took him out in a drive-by. quote:Doberman has grown increasingly wealthy over the past few years - ostensibly in the "tourist development" business. He acquired extensive land holdings, built a huge soccer complex and collected a personal zoo. His mountaintop ranch in Puerto Vallarta features a small airstrip for shipping cocaine, along with several swimming pools, a fleet of motor launches and a bullring. He raises prize fighting bulls and was charged with smuggling 120 of them from Spain. Forced to retrench from Colombia, he has begun spending more time at his Puerto Vallarta ranch in Mexico, where he has acquired political influence. He has donated one million dollars to two main political parties and "owns" many of the officials, judges and policemen in Mexico. In real life, Lehder actually founded the Muerte a Secuestradores (MAS), which went against the 19th of April Movement (M-19) to combat their kidnappings of cartel members and their families. quote:PROPOSED PLAN OF ACTION: In conclusion, even if life has become a bit harder for Klaus Doberman, the odds against shutting him down remains overwhelming. We can only concede that at most, we can hope to keep Doberman off balance and prevent him from enlarging his empire. But as long as he can sell billions of dollars' worth of coke abroad - and as long as the domestic market for cocaine keeps expanding - he will have the money and clout he needs to fend off the government's attacks, which would most definitely be a long, costly and probably very bloody war. As cheap as it is for Hatfield to simply file the serial numbers off the Medellín Cartel (probably to help him get his book out faster), I think it shows just how you can make a more compelling villain than Gardner's. We already have over-the-top wacky villains in real life who would give Anton Murik a run for their money, but they're always crazy in a way that attracts attention from the world as they dare people to act. quote:James Bond closed the file and pushed it back across the table to M., who immediately returned it to the inside pocket of his coat. "007, I'm at a stalemate, and you are our country's only hope in neutralizing the threat of Doberman." At least he accurately has the literary Bond shrugging all the time. quote:For years, Bond's most important function in the British Secret Service was to perform the role of executioner for the government. The privilege of holding a Double-0 number meant that Bond had to kill people in the line of duty. It was something that he had accepted and was expected to perform without regret. Many times an assignment involved nothing but the elimination of an enemy operative. He had never liked killing people and when he had to he carried out the unpleasant task as best e could without second thought - but even Bond was not immune to the repercussions of this burden on his psyche. Luckily, Bond had a strong sense of patriotism and his loyalty to England was a strong motivating force in his attitude toward his profession. And, you know, Hatfield can always just copy Gardner's text directly. quote:Bond was in an elated mood. To him, M. was the Service, and the Service was Bond's life. More importantly, Bond loved M. as a father. "I will hunt this man Doberman down and destroy him. If he finds he can get away with this kind of thing he'll decide the English people are as soft as some other people seem to think we are. This is a case for rough justice - an eye for an eye." And, uh, that's copying dialogue from "For Your Eyes Only." quote:M. went on looking at Bond. He gave no further encouragement, made no further comments. What Bond would do was left unsaid. It was always left unsaid. Well, now I want that too. quote:"The usual, twice, Augustus. And bring us your best bottle of Dom Perignon with a side dish of Beluga caviar. We have some celebrating to do." Bond was as determined as ever, but with a renewed strength. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 07:45 on Jul 1, 2021 |
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 07:41 |
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Yeah, you can see little bits of copy-and-paste everywhere. Like, M sneering at the vodka as "rot-gut" is from On Her Majesty's Secret Service, where he uses the same word (hyphen and all) to describe Bond's choice of whiskey. Or the bit about "ears very flat to the head" -- Fleming uses the exact same phrase describing Scaramanga in The Man with the Golden Gun.
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 15:07 |
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The Chinese guy is wearing traditional Japanese clothing, but I shouldn’t expect cultural verisimilitude from a James Bond side quest, should I? Just got caught up on this thread yesterday and happy that it’s still getting new content!
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 19:46 |
Dirt Road Junglist posted:The Chinese guy is wearing traditional Japanese clothing, but I shouldn’t expect cultural verisimilitude from a James Bond side quest, should I? I've gotten serious enough about Bond research (including speaking with other people who work on the subject) that I'm probably not quitting until I'm out of books or dead.
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 22:31 |
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chitoryu12 posted:I've gotten serious enough about Bond research (including speaking with other people who work on the subject) that I'm probably not quitting until I'm out of books or dead. Looking forward to your James Bond Jr TVIV thread in 2024
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# ? Jul 1, 2021 23:23 |
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chitoryu12 posted:I've gotten serious enough about Bond research (including speaking with other people who work on the subject) that I'm probably not quitting until I'm out of books or dead. quote:chitoryu12 had the crawling sensation at the pit of his stomach he knew so well – the signal that he had probably made a dangerous and silly mistake. It works on so many levels
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# ? Jul 2, 2021 11:18 |
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Dirt Road Junglist posted:The Chinese guy is wearing traditional Japanese clothing, but I shouldn’t expect cultural verisimilitude from a James Bond side quest, should I? If he's the "hitman Fuji Chen" referred to in the last update he seems to have a Japanese first name too.
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# ? Jul 2, 2021 16:58 |
Chapter 4: Hide and go Die Yeah. quote:Turquoise blue waters waved white gloved hands hands as they rolled onto the sands of Puerto Vallarta's coastline. Voluminous clouds frolicked across the sky and headed toward the Sierra Madres. On board his sailing vessel in Banderas Bay, Klaus Doberman meditated on what was truly a picture-postcard day. Hatfield tried to do research and garbled sources. Picchiotti is a real luxury yacht builder in the Perini Navi Group. Viareggio is a coastal town in northeast Italy, near Pisa, which has seen Picchiotti yachts docked in its harbor and sold. quote:From the bridge of the yacht, Doberman watched as members of the cartel arrived for an emergency meeting called for seven o'clock in the evening. The men, for they were all men, came from all over Central and South America, ferried from the shore by small motorboats. They came singly and in pairs, at intervals during the late afternoon and evening. Each man had his allotted time for arriving at these meetings - so many minutes, up to two hours, before zero hour. That is a complete copy of Blofeld's description in Thunderball. All of the best writing Hatfield uses is Fleming's. The only difference is changing "black" to "blue." He even keeps the plural "whites", as Blofeld didn't have an eyepatch. My reassurance is that no, Hatfield doesn't just copy and paste an entire book. There's more, uh, original content. quote:Doberman completed his inspection of the faces. As he had anticipated, only one pair of eyes had avoided contact. He had known he was right. The reports which he had checked had been entirely circumstantial, but his one good eye and his intuition had to be the seal. He slowly put his right hand under the table where it remained flat on his thigh. The standard "Villain reveals someone has betrayed him and kills him at the table" moment approaches. quote:The gentleman from Equador rose to his feet. He was a tall, dark man with immensely handsome features and a deep, husky voice that had charmed many a young woman in its time. "We have invested extensively in Central and South America," he said, "to promote insurgency and revolution. Fortunately, our capital outlay has been handsomely offset by the manufacture and resultant sale of the cocaine derivative, basuco. You will note that we have financed both terrorists and government forces on an equal basis. In matters of business, we are strictly impartial. Even with the destruction of the Chihuahua factory and the ten-thousand tons of marijuana it contained, our bank accounts in Switzerland, London, and New York have balances, respectively, of four-hundred-million dollars; fifty-million pounds sterling; and nine-hundred million dollars. The total, according to our calculations, will suffice for our present purposes, and if operations succeed according to budget - as Senor Doberman predicts - we can expect to double the amount in one year. This income, as each of you are aware, has been distributed in accordance with our charter as to ten percent for overheads and working capital, ten percent to Senor Doberman, and the remainder in equal shares of four percent to the members." He gave his most charming smile, and asked amiably, "Any questions?" Basuco is the Colombian slang term for "dirty trash" and refers to the paste left at the bottom of the barrel during cocaine production. The process of producing cocaine is long and surprisingly complicated and chemically involved for something typically done by farmers with no electricity. After a lot of grinding and mixing with various chemicals to extract cocaine hydrochloride, some paste is left behind that can be smoked in homemade pipes or by lacing cigarettes with it. It's extremely cheap because it's just the garbage from producing the white powder everyone pays money for, which helps the drug penetrate the areas it's made in even when most people can't afford good white. quote:The assembled company sat back, satisfied. Each man had made his own calculation, knew his own mind. Number 9 was the one killed in the film he's copying. quote:The head of the leading drug family in Guadalajara, a proud, chunky man with slow eyes, and dressed in a well-tailored Gianni Versace three-piece suit, got slowly to his feet. His big, rough hands hung relaxed at the seams of his trousers. The man stood facing Doberman at the far end of the table. You'd think eventually one of these people would see it coming. quote:The room lights dimmed and a large projection screen stealthily glided down from the ceiling and suspended itself midair at the far end of the table. Instantly, the image of Number 12 appeared on the screen as he began to swim in the ocean with the jerky, head-above-water stroke of the untutored. His eyes rolled wildly, as he desperately searched for a way of escape from something not defined, but obviously terrible. Large, schools. quote:A hundred yards away, the two barracudas sensed a change in the ocean's rhythm. They did not see Number 12, nor yet did they smell him. Running within the length of their bodies were series of thin canals, filled with mucus and dotted with nerve endings, and these nerves detected vibrations and signaled their brains. The barracudas turned toward the man. Oh, well, now it's kinda gross. quote:The other barracuda, with its extended and forceful jaws, snapped shut around the man's screaming head, crushing the skull and flesh and brain into a jelly. Jesus. quote:The entire process took less than fifteen minutes, yet the group of twelve men remained fascinated, hypnotized. The two barracudas cut back through the dissipating cloud of blood, opening and closing their mouths, seining for a random piece of corpse. The Medellin Cartel: exactly like SPECTRE. quote:Doberman's soft, even voice broke the silence. He looked down the table at each man. "Our sources in London have informed me that the British Secret Service has sent their best agent to investigate Senor Tanner's disappearance." "All we need to do is make it really obvious that we're evil, and he'll just walk straight into our HQ and demand to see the manager. It's foolproof." quote:There were murmurs of grim agreement from around the table before Doberman, glancing at his gold, diamond-studded Omega watch, spoke again. "In fact, our bait should have been taken by now. Soon, gentlemen, Commander Bond will become a very extinct species."
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 03:04 |
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The description of the barracuda attack is reminiscent of the shark attack in the opening chapter of the book Jaws. The bit about the victim running their finger over the stump and reacting to the warm feeling of blood may be word for word; I don't have my copy handy to check.
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 03:24 |
Funny thing, I just downloaded Jaws.quote:At first, the woman thought she had snagged her leg on a rock or a piece of floating wood. There was no initial pain, only one violent tug on her right leg. She reached down to touch her foot, treading water with her left leg to keep her head up, feeling in the blackness with her left hand. She could not find her foot. She reached higher on her leg, and then she was overcome by a rush of nausea and dizziness. Her groping fingers had found a hub of bone and tattered flesh. She knew that the warm, pulsing flow over her fingers in the chill water was her own blood. Pain and panic struck together. The woman threw her head back and screamed a guttural cry of terror. I think this is the new game now, because I don't think anybody has done a serious look at The Killing Zone until now. Did he really piece this book together from a bunch of thrillers and Bond books he had lying around his house?
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 04:02 |
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Signs point to yes.
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 04:10 |
Welp, I guess this is the first serious analysis of The Killing Zone to hit the internet. Congratulations, folks. You're part of Bond history.
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 04:20 |
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I think it would take almost as much time to mangle together thousands of words of plagiarism as it would to make a completely original novel.
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 08:07 |
Chapter 5: The Woman in the White Spyderquote:James Bond saw the two men approaching. They were tall, lean, darkly tanned Mexican men with white shirts open to show hairy, muscular chests, and khaki slacks. One man was taller with a completely shaven head, wearing a single gold pierced earring in his left lobe; the other - like so many men in Puerto Vallarta - had straight black hair with streaks of grey and a thick black mustache. They were the same men who had tailed him from his hotel the day before, sizing him up. They're both in matching clothes while trying to tail him? quote:Bond tossed three one-thousand-peso notes onto the restaurant table to pay for his lunch, and turned his back on the two men - whoever they were. He stepped into the crowded shop-lined street fronting the Vallarta Bar and Grill, facing the beach. He looked around distastefully, blinking at the sunlight and turned toward his black Gemballa Porsche in the row of parked cars across the street. Yeah, some more Gardner copying when it came to the Saab. Gemballa is a German tuning company by Uwe Gemballa that began producing customized Porsches in 1981. The above car is a 1984 Porsche 911 Turbo that's been given the Gemballa treatment that was owned by, of all loving people, Sir Mix A-Lot. It was featured on the back cover of "Baby Got Back." I bet you didn't expect to start seeing references to that as early as 1985 in this thread, but guess again motherfuckers. Gemballa's glory days ended in 2010, in true Hatfield fashion, when Uwe Gemballa got loving murdered. He suddenly went missing in Johannesburg, South Africa on a business trip and his body was found 8 months later. It's believed that he had gotten involved in a money laundering scheme headed by Czech crime boss Radovan Krejčíř, who currently remains in a South African jail on a 35-year sentence. The factory was seized by the German government and shut down briefly before Andreas Schwarz and Steffen Korbach (who now has complete control) bought the rights to the name to continue work. quote:The Multinational Control System (MCS) company, added some of their own standard refinements. There were certain security devices that one could not fail to notice - such as the electric-tinted bullet proof glass, steel-reinforced ram bumpers, heavy-duty Pirelli P-7 tires, self-sealing even after being hit by bullets, and dart-firing electric sideview mirrors. There were other highly-advance modifications such as twin heat-seeking missile launching systems mounted behind the park lights, smoke screen, oil slick sprayer, satellite navigation system, rear mine bay and Chapman Burglar Protection System. Major Boothroyd of the Q Branch would have approved, and probably envied, Bond's choice of such a specialized automobile. But because of the disbandment of the Double-0 section and severe financial restraint of the Q Branch, Boothroyd had resigned from the British Secret Service and accepted an offer from the C.I.A. As you may remember, Gardner's Saab was modified by Communication Control Systems (CCS). The Porsche's gadgets aren't an exact copy of the Saab's, but the dart-firing sideview mirrors come straight out of the film adaptation of Live and Let Die. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PleB04vRHYQ quote:The bald man opened the driver's-side door of Bond's car and bent down to speak, smirking. Bond, in turn, slammed the corner of the car door into the side of the man's mouth, breaking several teeth. He fell on his rear, clutching his mouth, while blood ran between his fingers. I sure hope he wasn't a tourist. quote:Bond was out of the car in a single quick motion, turning to face the others... Possibly an error in copying, our Not-Gardner Bond is now using a Super Blackhawk, after having previously using the standard Blackhawk and the double-action Redhawk. The New Model Super Blackhawk began production in 1974 to better control the massive .44 Magnum cartridge. It uses the same frame, but most models have a larger grip and smooth, unfluted cylinder with the aluminum grip components replaced with steel for added strength. quote:He'd unsnapped the elastic rope, leaned back, slid the oar off the roof, braced - in a second and a half, a blur to the men approaching him. Always envision Mexican police in your head as policia, not "police", for maximum immersion. quote:He jabbed twice with the blade of the oar, charitably opting for the bellies in place of the throats; two men doubled up; but one behind them managed to get hold of the oar. Bond waited until the man had a film grip, then yanked the oar so that the thug fell facedown. Bond twisted the oar away and cracked those three on the sides of their heads with it, wielding it like a long-shafted hammer, crack crack crack in quick succession. They slumped, stunned. The remaining two hesitated, crouching, wary of Bond now. Bond heard the warble of approaching sirens... and he noticed a young woman sitting in an open Lancia Flaminia Zagato Spyder double-parked across the street. She was watching the fight with an air of rueful amusement. When she saw him looking at her, she smiled and inclined her head. She was tanned with blonde hair that hung straight and simple to the final inward curl below the chin. There was something pleasantly innocent about her despite her obvious pleasure in watching the fight. It took Bond less than two seconds to take in all this. Deciding he wanted to continue amusing her, he began to replace the oar on the roof of the car it had come from; he hummed like a tourist preparing for a trip to the beach, deliberately turning his back to the two men crouching a few yards behind and to the left, about to spring on him - but never really ignoring them. Bond was too professional to be overconfident. Why yes, that is the exact same car driven by Tracy in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, including the same mistake in that Zagato never made a spyder convertible. quote:He strapped the oar in place under the elastic rope. Whistling, he wished he had a cigarette, mostly it would make him seem even more absurdly relaxed if he were to light a cigarette, as the crouching thugs jumped him. "Deeply V-ed" while completely topless? What loving body shape does this woman have? quote:Bond sighed in relief. Local police were a complication. He preferred to work around them. He went to the white Spyder and said, "That was decent of you, getting rid of the policia. You saved me a great deal of trouble." James Bond is the kind of guy who would end up trying to fistfight a bull because he thought it might help his mission. quote:She laughed. A sweet, honest laugh. "Everyone is equal in the end, that is true. You know, someone may have noticed your license plate. I can give you a lift and you can send for your car when it's safer for you." This feels as awkward as a kid with his first bra. quote:Wishing for a real cigarette, Bond drove between the ocean and the Sierra Madres. He took long, slow breaths to calm himself, but it didn't help much because he was thinking about the woman in the white Spyder. The woman with the blonde hair and blue eyes. And the big brown breasts. A little too much like Tracy, perhaps. And the memory brought a stab in his gut. "James Bond was horny, and when he saw giant titties he thought of Tracy. This is emotion." quote:Tracy - his wife of only a few hours when Ernst Stavro Blofeld so viciously gunned her down on the Autobahn from Munich to Kufstein, as they were heading for their honeymoon. Bond thought of the other women who had played such a decisive role in his Service career. Vesper Lynd, who in death, had been molded like a stone effigy; Gala Brand, now Mrs. Vivian, with three kids and a nice house in Richmond - they exchanged Christmas cards but he had never seen her again after the Drax business; Honey Rider, Tiffany Case; Domino Vital; Solitaire; Pussy Galore; Mary Goodnight; the exquisite Kissy Suzuki. Again and again his thoughts turned to Tracy di Vecenzo - Tracy Bond. At this rate we're lucky even half of the words he stole from Gardner are spelled correctly. quote:He looked in his rearview mirror, expecting to see a police car. None yet. He drove lazily on, musing, following the curving coast road north. Watching the ocean to his right go from aquamarine to indigo as the night came on. If you know your Fleming, you already know who this is. quote:Bond pulled over at the next shoulder, atop an ocean cliff.
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 10:01 |
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chitoryu12 posted:"Deeply V-ed" while completely topless? What loving body shape does this woman have? "Barbie Doll"?
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# ? Jul 3, 2021 12:27 |
Chapter 6: Lotta Head I swear to God, I am not making up any of this content. quote:Get the hell out of the car, James. Very slowly and cautiously ." Indeed it won't be! quote:But all the time he was trying to see the man in the reflection on the windshield, hoping he would see him look away just for a second, long enough to duck the gun muzzle, whirl, and kick. Still always pulling the same prank! quote:Exhaling windily, Bond turned and gazed at the tall thin American who came forward with a wide grin, his hand outstretched, to where Bond stood rooted with astonishment. "You crooked spy, how the hell are you?" Bond grasped the black glove which covered an artificial limb. More copying. The latter paragraph is partially from Diamonds are Forever. quote:Leiter's laugh still had the fun and impetuosity that Bond had always warmed to, trusted, and admired. He leaned back against the car, crossing his arms. "It was not humor, James, old buddy, not entirely - I was afraid you would break my face first and then look to identify this face later, you see? I had to get you out of the car and out of arm's reach before I felt safe. I know you to be a hair-trigger man, James Bond." He did a great job, openly leering at Bond until he was uncomfortable. quote:"All you lying Texans are alike. You must have been nearby. You knew where I was - you were hoping that little `misunderstanding' would happen." Felix, language! quote:Bond looked at the American with delight and added up his impressions. There were imperceptible scars below the hairline above the right eye that suggested a good deal of grafting, but otherwise Leiter looked in reasonable shape. The steady eyes were undefeated, the straw-coloured hair had no hint of grey in it and there was none of the bitterness of a cripple around the mouth. "James, I feel like I don't belong here. Like I've been....cut out and pasted into something else." quote:"Don't tell me they've put you on this job?" Bond said as they cruised inland toward Careyes. The most dangerous names in the world: Chen and Huggins. quote:Leiter nodded. The book is going to get a lot more profane from here. quote:"You always were a lot of help," Bond answered sarcastically. You don't want to know. quote:The next morning, as Bond made arrangements at the front desk of Posada La Brissa to take a room for two weeks, he saw the woman. The woman with the deep blue eyes and quick wits and perfect sun-ripened breasts. Today she wore a sheer gold bikini and a white scarf holding her blonde hair back. She strolled past him without a glance, he thought: Good. Don't get distracted from your assignment. He signed over a traveler's check, then turned away from the front desk and headed for the door. He was mildly surprised to find her at the door waiting for him. the woman quote:Don't get distracted. He smiled at her and said, "Good morning." And putting on his sunglasses, he stepped past her out the door. He paused to look around for Leiter. drat him, he was late... The hotel was a sprawling Spanish structure with white stucco and roofed with red tiles; it was set atop a low ridge and surrounded by palm trees and cacti with red blooms. To the left was a small goldfish pond, the water deep green with algae, lilies opened white on its surface. No. quote:"Yes, they are. Where did you learn to speak English so well?" This is hilarious. It's so bad. quote:"Ah, I'd love to. I can't though. Got to see a gentleman about a boat." He started to walk away into the constantly churning background of the Mariachi with its music of love between men and women. There's even a mariachi band! quote:"Bond!" the woman called after him. There's a possibility this is a surprisingly clever reference. Charles Crawford was a criminal active in 1920s Los Angeles, the "Grey Wolf of Wall Street" and leader of the "City Hall Gang", who made friends with Kent Kane Parrot and got George E. Cryer elected mayor. The trio were involved in all sorts of crime and corruption, including bootlegging, and held a tight grip on LA's government. He was never convicted, but in 1931 he and newspaperman Herbert Spencer were gunned down during a meeting in Crawford's office. Prosecutor David H. Clark confessed to the murder, claiming that Crawford drew a gun when Clark refused to participate in the corruption, but the prosecutors believed he was actually sent to assassinate Crawford by one of his criminal accomplices. He was acquitted on all charges. The reason this is interesting is that Charles Crawford is believed to have served as a model for some of Raymond Chandler's detective novel villains. Chandler, in turn, was a huge influence on Ian Fleming's writing and the two became friends shortly before Chandler's death. If this is an intentional reference by Hatfield (and not ripped off from some other source....), it's surprisingly clever for a book that's otherwise massively plagiarized. quote:The beach towel was tucked under Bond's left arm; he'd slipped his right hand into its folds. So Felix and Bond aren't secret yaoi lovers? quote:Bond relaxed a little and took his hand away from the gun. He believed her. He'd have to clean the microphones from his room immediately. What to do about the woman? Most men in his position would have killed her. But Bond wasn't like most "professionals." Still, last night in Bond's room, Leiter had mentioned the location of the temporary anchorage of the Buenaventura. So she'd know the objective, in a general way. If he ditched her, she'd probably follow him there, if he was any judge of character. I agree, Bond's not like most professionals. quote:"What's your name?" I loving wish he was. quote:"No, I'm serious. My father named me after the wild night of lovemaking between he and my mother in which I was conceived." Somehow, this is actually the worst thing I have read all year. quote:She moved closer to him and stood so near he could smell the Chanel No. 5; he thought he might fall into her deep blue eyes. "Bond... let me help you." God I can't get it out of my mind now. quote:"Then tell me and let me be the judge." This is deeply uncomfortable. quote:Leiter was just driving up, watching the scene with open amusement from the air-conditioned interior of the Porsche.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 03:51 |
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Lotta... Head? Lotta Head. LOTTA HEAD. L̸̢̛̩̠͙͖̱̺̲̭̯͔̟͈̘̰̈́̓͌́͗͠Ǫ̸̢̢̛̳̬͍̮̱͎̖̞͈̙̜͖̩͈̮̬̰̹̬̩͆̀͆̎̎̏̓̆͗̐̎͊̄̔͛̌̂̄̏̋͛̇͝T̴̨̡̹̺͓̥̼͚̞̻͚̜̞̤͖̞͎̱̻̪̎̿͂̎͛̅̅̕T̴̢̩͓͈͎̮̱̰̻̙̠͓͙̘͔͙͎͉̙̫̣͉̈́̋̾͜͜Á̷͚̹̈̀̋̈́ ̸̖̗̓̃Ḧ̷̡͎̜͓̮́͒͂͌͆͑̐͆͒̈́̔̃̏̑̊͂̕͝E̸̡͖̺̝̫͉̱͔͎̮͔͇̝̠̔͠ͅA̸̢̡̨̞̝͔̟̫̟̦̞̪̻̥̲̜̓͛ͅD̸͈͎̂̌̀̄̉͊̆̄̓̑͝
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 04:06 |
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Did he ask a 13 year old boy to name this character? And "the bitterness of a cripple" is, as a cripple, pretty pathetic.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 09:10 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Funny thing, I just downloaded Jaws. Funnily enough a more recent case of someone doing this used John Gardner’s Bond books as source novels.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 11:15 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Still always pulling the same prank! At this point Bond should just be saying, "yeah, hi Felix" any time anyone he can't see has a gun to his head.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 12:49 |
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Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:Did he ask a 13 year old boy to name this character? And "the bitterness of a cripple" is, as a cripple, pretty pathetic. Pretty sure that bitterness line, and the whole description, is just lifted from the, uh, source material. It would be fascinating to tally up what percentage of this book is plagiarized. Could do an interesting pie chart based on origin!
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 13:23 |
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Yeah a LOT of this is feeling very familiar. Phrases, characters, lines of dialogue or observation are all probably lifted. Honestly seems like more work than just writing a bad book on your own, without reference
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 14:07 |
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This iiiiis (checks notes) some 12 years before Alotta Fagina, so I expect to see a corpulent henchman and a la-ser showing up at any moment.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 16:01 |
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Courtesy of the OSHA thread. https://twitter.com/MichaelWarbur17/status/1411080587188768768
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 19:27 |
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Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:Courtesy of the OSHA thread.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 20:07 |
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No poo poo. You can tell that the alligators were getting tired of being stepped on, they were going for him as soon as they saw him coming.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 21:31 |
Chapter 7: Twice Removedquote:It was Monday afternoon: the curving white sand beach of Careyes wasn't crowded. The few inhabitants that took advantage of the unspoiled environment were sunbathing or relaxing; horseback riding or parasailing. At the far end of the secluded beach were thousands of leatherback turtles which came each summer for centuries to lay their eggs. Dear lord. Okay, let's take this one at a time. Hatfield wastes no time in making dumb mistakes. The FN FAL is not made by Heckler & Koch, because it's made by FN. The "Right Arm of the Free World", along with the actual Heckler & Koch G3, became the two most common 7.62x51mm battle rifles in history starting in the 1950s. The FAL in particular was common among NATO and allied countries, with the British commissioning a copy in more even imperial units with the full auto fire removed to create the L1A1 Self-Loading Rifle. "M-LA" is garbled enough that it's hard to confirm if he meant an M1 Garand sniper variant or an M14. The rifle never appears again in the book, so I'm going to assume he meant the M1A, the semi-automatic version of the M14. The M14 was a semi-disastrous attempt at modifying the M1 Garand of World War II to use a 20-round box magazine in 7.62x51mm with a full auto feature. The intent was to continue using the old tooling with only minor changes while using the M14 as a general purpose weapon that could serve as both a battle rifle and a light machine gun. This would save plenty of money! Unfortunately, reality didn't bear out the theory in either factory tooling cost or effectiveness in battle. The M14 is slightly lighter than the FAL or G3, but has much worse recoil and no bipod as standard, making full auto completely uncontrollable and slightly terrifying for the shooter to experience. The Vietnam War quickly exposed the M14's flaws and it only served as the frontline rifle in that war for a few years before being replaced by the new, high tech M16. While there are match versions of the rifle (including of the semi-auto commercial variant, the Springfield Armory M1A) and the M14 is still in use as a marksman's rifle in the military today, the rifle is actually quite bad for sniping because the rifle is extremely touchy about how everything sits together. It's a pain in the rear end to zero and even jostling it too much can change the point of impact, let alone dropping it. We've already covered the MAC-10 a few books ago, so we'll skip to the first "I just read about this in Soldier of Fortune" gun: The AMT Backup is a concealed carry pistol designed in 1978 by Ordnance Manufacturing Corporation. After a short run, Arcadia Machine & Tool in the Los Angeles area purchased the tooling and began manufacture under their name. It was made in a variety of calibers, from the .22 LR that Bond has to .45 ACP and .400 Cor-Bon; the latter two created one of the best power-to-size ratios in common sale at the time. With a .22, though, there's not much point to Bond having it. Especially since he's also getting his old Beretta 418 back, with more reliable centerfire ammo with the exact same ballistics, which is even smaller than the Backup. If it helps, I don't think Bond ever uses the Backup. quote:Bond stared at the Beretta with blank disbelief; "So you even got the Beretta - great piece of iron. Flatter projectory, better penetration, and its got that extra round. Thanks, Felix old buddy," Bond said to his associate. "How did you get everything so quickly?" I can't decide what's worse: Hatfield thinking .25 ACP is superior to .32 ACP in ballistics, or "projectory." quote:Leiter laughed. "I already had most of it. Major Boothroyd knows what you go for. He said for you to try to be a little less than your usual frivolous self, 007, and treat the equipment with equal care instead of equal contempt." Probably snarling and shaking his fist in gay anger. quote:The beach was horseshoe-shaped, cupped by two tree-thatched headlands; the water was translucent blue and fairly calm. A couple of cabin cruisers were anchored about forty yards out, and at the mouth of the little bay the Buenaventura rocked at anchor - about a hundred yards from where Bond and Leiter sat on a boulder, in the shade of a viney cliff. Well don't do the magazine advertisements too hard, Hatfield! quote:"I see three guys on deck, two of them armed, looking like pros, one some sort of deckhand. No sign of Doberman." He passed the binoculars to Leiter. I, uh, don't believe there's a Sierra Madre mountain overlooking the ocean here. quote:Bond's eyes narrowed with a hint of revenge. "Then I'll get him here." At least he avoided the n-word coral. quote:Bond enjoyed the swim, skimming along near the surface, feeling almost as if he were flying, so effortlessly did he move through the balm-cool waters. The new diving mask and snorkel represented the cutting edge in underwater wear technology. Molded of allergy-tested silicone and comfortable, they were virtually immune to the effects of sunlight, saltwater and age. The mask was anatomically curved and its low-volume design insured easy clearing. Optical-grade lenses were angled at ninety-degrees to minimize distortion and reflection. The snorkel had a large diameter one-way valve which automatically purged ninety-percent of trapped water when Bond surfaced, reducing fatigue. The tube-tab mouthpiece swiveled three-hundred-and-sixty-degrees and the collapsible tooth lugs conformed to individual bite, eliminating jaw fatigue. Its elastomeric barrel was as flexible as neoprene, but three times more tear resistant. The fins were engineered to generate the greatest kicking power with the least effort. Unlike a stiff, heavy rubber fin, Bond's fins were molded polyurethane which caused the blades to fold down on the upkick to reduce water resistance, and snap open for full power on the downstroke. Lighter than rubber and only weighing twenty-four ounces, the fins were so comfortable thay made Bond feel like he was not wearing anything on his feet at all. No, that shadow's actually the impending lawsuit. quote:The yacht was fairly new, there were only a few barnacles on the white-painted hull. He swam close, hoping he was right that the guards, if they spotted his snorkel tube, were used to seeing them. But maybe not this far out from shore. He shrugged off that worry and dived, holding his breath. He kicked to the rudder, held on there with one hand, with the other removing the soundscope from his belt and holding it on the hull. He pressed the button on the scope's side and moved forward to a position just under the tea deck, where he repeated the process. And again just under the bow. His lungs nearly bursting, he kicked off from the hull, heading toward shore. He tucked the scope into his belt. By yourself? quote:He paused in his swimming, floating to listen: he'd heard a sound he didn't like. They make those? quote:Bond dived deeper, till the pressure brought a pounding in his temples, and found a turret-shaped outcropping of volcanic rock. He swam hastily, his lugs beginning to ache, to put the jutting pitted black rock between himself and the man with the speargun. I guess that's a character now! quote:Huggins was only three yards off now, and raising the speargun to shoot past the rock. He knew it was Bond, and he probably looked forward to killing the man who'd taken his eye. He was grinning under the breathing apparatus. This is by far the most gruesome book our thread will cover. quote:Bond withdrew the knife and plunged it once more - this time into Huggins' throat. He thrashed, deepening the blood cloud's shade of red, and Bond kicked free of him, heading to the surface. I love it. Hatfield suddenly introduces an ex-MI6 agent who joined SPECTRE and kills him two pages later. quote:Bond broke from the water, gasping for air and watching out for the enemy boat. We hardly knew ye. quote:Bond swam quickly to the nearest outcropping of rock beneath the headland's outermost cliff face. Breathing raggedly, he clambered up onto the boulders and made his way, slipping now and then, to the little path that led up into the palm trees, around to the right of the cliff. Again, all mistakes are kept intact. quote:He turned a bend in the trail, saw Leiter limping toward him. He was carrying Bond's towel, and shaking his head. "Goddamn, James, looks like somebody wanted to see how your ear tasted." "James, is that the legal team from Glidrose?" quote:Bond casually reached out and took the rolled towel from Leiter. He tucked it unconcernedly under his left arm - and slipped his right hand into the towel, gripping the butt of the Beretta wrapped it in, thinking: The boat must have come ashore somewhere. Whoever was in it hid in the rocks, then followed me up the trail to look for a secluded spot... What a devilishly clever gunman, making sure to customize his gun by zeroing the sights correctly. quote:Bond raised his eyes to meet Chen's, and it wasn't much different from looking down the barrel of a gun. You felt, looking into Chen's almond slits of eyes, unwavering as steel, that you were looking down the double barrels of a shotgun. The rest of Chen's face was less threatening, marked by weather, deeply tanned from the Mexican sun. Bond hadn't seen him in four years, he hadn't aged much. Must be about forty by now. He was clothed in black from head to toe in the ancient Ninja uniform. Over one shoulder he'd slung a canvas bag, in case he needed to conceal the machine gun. The only visible scars were on Chen's knuckles. This is just Chang from Moonraker. quote:"You know why I'm here," Chen said softly. He stood about two yards from Bond. He was a head shorter, so the gun was tilted up: a twitch of his finger and it would stitch half a dozen holes across Bond's chest. His hands were rock steady. He smiled faintly. His eyes flicked past Bond to Leiter. "Your friend had better stand real still. If he thinks I'm going to miss him because I'm going to shoot you first..." "This is just getting excessive, Bond." quote:"You're not going to blow me away, Chen. You're not that kind of mercenary. You're the soldier kind. Not the butcher kind." But Bond was no longer sure of that. He'd heard that Chen had gone sour on life, had stopped caring about whom he worked for or what he did for them. And the fact he worked for Klaus Doberman now was proof. At least someone here did. quote:Maybe someone would come up the trail, Bond thought. Chen wouldn't want to blow his boss's cover by killing them in front of a crowd. Sooner or later the police would connect it with the big yacht. But if no one came, Chen might blow them away and then hide the bodies in the brush. This is starting to turn into cringe comedy. quote:"No. But you used to make bets with people about my reflexes. Remember that little bet in Hong Kong? You bet a guy I could shoot three dimes with a.45 before they hit the ground. Remember? You tossed three dimes in the air over your head - you trusted me that much, because they weren't far over your head. And-" You're a British man in Mexico, James! You can't bet in bucks! quote:Chen's grip on the gun tightened; his knuckles went white; a muscle jumped in his cheek. The tension would have screamed if it had a mouth. And then waited until they turned around and came back and shot them both? quote:Bond and Leiter hurried down the trail and were quickly among the crowd on the beach. Someone was shouting that there was a dead man floating in the surf. Huggins' body. How could Doberman explain that? Probably pretend the guy had never been with him. But...why is he doing a truce? quote:"He'll go to his ranch," Leiter said, nodding. Usually through questionable coercion! quote:Bond grinned and thought about Lotta. There was nothing reluctant about her. But there was lots of charm. She probably had some surprises in store for him. Women usually did. I dunno, her name is pretty self-explanatory. quote:"What's this meeting Doberman's waiting for?" Bond asked as Leiter started the car. And Hatfield only cares about one of those! quote:Thousands of miles across the Pacific, a massive Soviet MIL MI-24 helicopter streaked down with unbelievable grace onto the frigid wasteland of the Kamchatka Peninsula of Northeastern Russia. A Hind-D?! The Mil Mi-24, NATO reporting name "Hind", is one of the most famous and distinctive helicopter gunships in the world. It was introduced into service in 1972 as a flying equivalent to an infantry fighting vehicle, being capable of carrying up to 8 passengers while fighting back with heavy armament. The first models had a large greenhouse-style cockpit with many glass panels that earned it the nickname "Drinking Glass", with later models like this having the more recognizable double bubble canopy. It's completely bulletproof up to 12.7mm heavy machine guns from all angles, even the rotor blades, and can be fitted with a whole mess of weapons from a 12.7mm rotary cannon to fixed 30mm autocannons to bombs, rockets, and anti-tank missiles. quote:The side door slid open - the rotors whining slowly to a halt - and three elite Soviet Airborne Division soldiers appeared. The Project 941 Akula-class submarine, NATO reporting name "Typhoon", is the largest submarine ever built. These nuclear-powered ballistic missile subs displace 47,240 tons with a length of 574 feet, allowing a crew of 160 to stay submerged for months. Assuming this book was written when I think it was, Hatfield may have been inspired by the publication of The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy in 1984, which is set on one of these. quote:As the customary cold north wind blew stronger, General Gogol quickly clambered down the ladder with the usual awkwardness of a landsman. He was more than anxious to leave behind the major wind storm that had savaged Moscow and the monotony of his official administrative duties.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 21:46 |
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chitoryu12 posted:
And rips off the last line of Casino Royale in the process.
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# ? Jul 4, 2021 22:04 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Leiter laughed. "I already had most of it. Major Boothroyd knows what you go for. He said for you to try to be a little less than your usual frivolous self, 007, and treat the equipment with equal care instead of equal contempt." He has just lifted the banter dialogue wholesale from Thunderball the movie there, it's not even slightly disguised.
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# ? Jul 5, 2021 08:43 |
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Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:Courtesy of the OSHA thread. Gentlemen, I think we've found our 008
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# ? Jul 6, 2021 10:25 |
Chapter 8: Old Enemies are Hard to Breakquote:The bar of the Posada La Brissa was an attempt to reproduce what the Mexicans thought of as an "American-style cocktail bar," which meant it was dark and tackily furnished, with a small mirror ball throwing off shards of light as it rotated in the silence of the deserted dance floor. More like Lotta Alcoholism. quote:Lotta strode past him to the pool and dropped her bathrobe, exposing a black-and-white striped bikini that was sinfully tight at the bust and hips. They were alone at the poolside except for the waiter. And his deeply V-ed drink tray. quote:"You want to take a glass of champagne with you into the swimming pool?" Bond said, holding a fizzing glass under her nose. She hesitated, then took the crystal champagne glass and drained it. Subtle and profound: two things James Hatfield has never written. quote:They swam, and sunned, and talked. She was only twenty-eight, it turned out. Her father still kept her on a tight rein, though. In some matters her father was very old-fashioned. Lotta Head was treated like a fragile piece of China. Private tutors when she was a kid, trips abroad only when accompanied by her father. She'd had two years at Princeton, but never returned - she wanted to be a performer. A singer and songwriter. She played the violin. She liked skiing and snorkeling. She'd taken second prize in an amateur photography competition - photos of Mexican peasants scrounging for morsels of food in garbage cans in Mexico City. Bond told her a little about himself - only a little. If I never see "Lotta Head" written in full again, it will be too soon. quote:"Where's your violin?" he asked as the evening came on. Not sure you can use that case as a sled. quote:Later, they sat in candlelight drinking chilled white wine. She played the violin, and he was relieved to be able to say honestly, "You've got a real talent." Three songs later she put the violin aside and looked at him, waiting, waiting like a predatory night animal in the flickering candlelight. "I learned it from an old friend, who got cooked to death by a dune buggy with a flamethrower. I've had a weird life." quote:Lotta pretended to wrestle him for a while, giggling, playing as if she would try to throw him off; he let her nearly win free. Moving almost with a life of its own, her left hand caressed inside of his bathing-suit zipper. And began to work skillfully to open it. and took her and took her and took her and took her and took her and took her and quote:"Why should I risk your life just to satisfy your curiosity?" Bond said, sipping coffee. He glanced at Lotta, was now surprised to see she was sulking. "Believe me, you'll read about it in the paper. Eventually." He put the coffee cup aside, got out of bed, and dressed himself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsJFWRjxK9I quote:In the third crate: a mortar, a bazooka, and half a dozen land mines. Sorry, field test anti-tank missiles and land mines? What, are you going to blow up some loving cattle? quote:So Doberman had dug in at his ranch. That made it necessary for Bond to learn as much about the place as possible. With what qualifications?! quote:"I'll think about it. We'll do it this way: first you help, then I tell you. Maybe." You have no idea who this woman really is, you've been fooled at least once in every canon, and you're still letting this girl take all of your weapons and explosives to hide? quote:"One more thing: you know anything about Klaus Doberman's ranch?" "At the baseball diamond." quote:"But, James, why do you want to know about-" Good to know all of this very suddenly. quote:Bond parked the Porsche a short distance from Scalise's sprawling estate. He walked around the perimeter, getting a lay of the place. Like writing a book? quote:Bond, leather satchel slung over his arm, climbed over the hurricane fence at one of the house's blind spots. He dropped to the ground inside, expecting a snarling Doberman. There were only the chirping of birds, the breeze bringing the briny perfume of the ocean. It was twilight; the shadows grew long under the trees, over the neatly manicured grass. BOND NO quote:"You wait." He should! quote:He turned when he heard the crunch of the other guard's bootsteps on the gravel drive. The two men muttered together in Spanish, and then one threw a switch. The gates hummed and swung inward. The two guards just behind him - one now carrying a shotgun - Bond walked up toward the house. Ornamental black iron buttresses divided the front of the house into three sections; the central sections, containing the balcony, stuck out a little past the others. It would be easy to shimmy up that ornamental buttress, then climb over to the balcony, if it worked out that he had to do it that way. Bond has decided to willingly show up at the villain's mansion with no weapons. Fantastic. quote:The lift creaked up with annoying sluggishness, rising past two floors of antiques, yellowed oil paintings, spiral staircase with brass handles, marble steps. It was a big house, and Bond reflected, probably held a great many things of interest to the police - the few uncorrupted police. Copying The Man with the Golden Gun film. quote:"You should have done that when you first saw me. But, of course, the English don't consider it sporting to kill in cold blood, do they? You're just a goddamn hired killer. And what's the difference, hired killer for the Queen or hit man for the Brotherhood? We've got respect, that's the difference. We've got family. What have you got? You've got nothing. You insulted my family, turning down that job. And then you come around here talking like you're a friend of my family? I ought to kill you myself. But you're an English citizen, and the goddamn British embassy gives me a headache when an Englishman gets snuffed. So you can leave your lily-pure, high-minded license to kill rear end intact." Fantastic plan, Bond. quote:"Raphael..." Scalise addressed the man in the blue sunglasses. "Can you believe this guy?" He said something in Spanish Bond couldn't make out. Bond's Spanish was pretty shaky. Hatfield is at least getting Bond's planning accurate: do something really stupid, then get out of it with extreme violence. quote:Raphael said in Spanish, "He's nothing. I'll take him out. You go back and see if the boss wants anything." Jesus. quote:Bond dragged Raphael into the ground-floor hallway, then took the shotgun to the front door. He looked through the windows - no one in sight outside. The outdoor guards were in back, probably. It was unoccupied. The guard was still inside - probably Scalise was instructing them to find out how Bond had ascertained that he and Klaus Doberman were somehow connected. I thought you could pop 3 quarters out of the air. You can't shoot both of them in the head with a silenced pistol that fast? quote:But there was always a way. Of course, Bond had to choose the goriest option. quote:Scalise was indeed discussing Bond's interest in he and Doberman's business dealings. When one of his men suggested the simplest thing to do would have been to ask Bond about it - after a suitable period of softening up - Scalise replied he'd heard a lot of stories about Bond, and by all accounts he had an almost inhuman resistance to torture. Bond had been tortured by Goldfinger with a buzz-saw, his genitals mangled with a carpet beater by Le Chiffre, his little finger of the left hand broken, inflicted by a sabotaged traction machine, immersed in freezing water, and tortured by sound waves and probing devices in the orifices of his head - and had never revealed nothing. The guy was... Kinky. quote:Scalise broke off, staring at one of his guards. The guard had said that Bond had behaved as if he were scared and beaten. To get hurt for fun. quote:And... where was Raphael? If you were wondering how 80s pulpy this book would get, "James Bond dual-wielding to kill an entire room of bad guys" is not the peak. quote:Thrusting the pistol in his hip pocket, Bond yanked Scalise to his feet with his left hand by the simple expedient of taking him by the throat. .....what? quote:"But I'm not going to do my worst to you, Scalise. I want you coherent enough to give me the information I need. Like: where's the plan for Doberman's house?" Hatfield's idea of Bond is slightly different from normal.... quote:Bond let the anger shine through as he grinned down at Scalise. "Maybe I will do my worst to you." Wait, how did he figure it out? quote:"Open the safe, then, big shot." If you thought Pearson's Bond sucked, here you go! quote:Sobbing, he got to his knees and hobbled to the safe. A strongbox filled with American money - hundred dollar bills. Various rolled papers, real estate deeds, a dossier and color photograph of 003, and an itinerary of his comings and goings while on assignment in Acapulco - and a blueprint. Bond held the blueprint up to the light and nodded to himself. That was it. He folded it, zipped it into a jacket pocket, then took the money to the balcony. So does the author! quote:Bond snapped the small lock on the cashbox with his knife, opened it, and began to toss handfuls of crisp green bills into the air. "Blood money," Bond mused aloud. "So much of it. I guess you were planning on a trip to the States." The bills were caught on the breeze, lifted a little, and then fluttered like emerald butterflies to the ground three stories below. Bond took up a great wad of money and suspended it in the air beyond the railing. "Tell you what - you can have this much, Scalise, if you come and get it." Scalise lurched forward, clutching at the money; he failed blindly at it, leaning half over the balcony railing, trying to reach it. Bond let the money go, so it drifted in a green cloud to the ground, and then, with a single swift kick, he sent Scalise after it.
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# ? Jul 6, 2021 21:24 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:54 |
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# ? Jul 7, 2021 02:35 |