[UFOs] big mummy, big mummy, no whammies

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] big mummy, big mummy, no whammies

(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)

Popoto: Oct 21, 2012; miaow

alien invasion movies, 1990: �oh no they�re coming to eradicate all human life!!! it�s unrealistic to portrait another civilization as one note and evil like that. also why would they care about the humans so much?�

alien invasion movies, 2021: �oh yeah coming to eradicate all human life? makes sense. would protect the planet. just remove the virus from earth. �

# ? Jul 10, 2021 14:18

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 09:34

Wheeee: Mar 11, 2001; When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

guess who's due for a new Lue's clues? you!

https://youtu.be/3DXgSC-1fZI

# ? Jul 10, 2021 14:30

Brendan Rodgers: Jun 11, 2014

What do the throwaylien people say will happen on the 18th?

# ? Jul 10, 2021 14:37

space chandeliers: Apr 8, 2008

Both endings: the gumption and tenacity of capital prevails over all adversaries, any other savior is inconceivable, get your commemorative popcorn bucket at the concession stand (safely, if you're in 2021)

# ? Jul 10, 2021 14:39

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

Popoto posted:

alien invasion movies, 1990: �oh no they�re coming to eradicate all human life!!! it�s unrealistic to portrait another civilization as one note and evil like that. also why would they care about the humans so much?�

alien invasion movies, 2021: �oh yeah coming to eradicate all human life? makes sense. would protect the planet. just remove the virus from earth. �

fade to end credits with this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LiQ7TRidnI&t=24s

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:00

A MIRACLE: Sep 17, 2007; All right. It's Saturday night; I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix-tape... Let's rock.

Brendan Rodgers posted:

What do the throwaylien people say will happen on the 18th?

just read his post. maybe we should sticky it in the op lol

the galactic federation is coming to usher in space communism and possibly alien cat girls are real too

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:15

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

A MIRACLE posted:

just read his post. maybe we should sticky it in the op lol

the galactic federation is coming to usher in space communism and possibly alien cat girls are real too

Those of us who currently look after cats will be among the favored

until our cats tell the cat aliens that we've never fed them even once and keep the treats in a tricky plastic force-field instead of readily accessible and sometimes we refuse to open doors

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:17

Jazerus: May 24, 2011

july aiii lmao

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:17

Hooplah: Jul 15, 2006

Barry Foster posted:

Seriously

I was really concerned for a hot minute there but it's nice to know I'm not going to spend the rest of my life on a dying planet

don't worry, plenty more hot minutes coming lol

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:28

Inspector Hound: Jul 14, 2003

A MIRACLE posted:

and possibly alien cat girls are real too

I want to believe

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:31

neutral milf hotel: Oct 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

A MIRACLE posted:

just read his post. maybe we should sticky it in the op lol

the galactic federation is coming to usher in space communism and possibly alien cat girls are real too

hell yeah

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:36

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

Space communism better mostly be reading poetry, talking about philosophy, and playing german style boardgames while drinking malty beers or I am out friend

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:39

fits my needs: Jan 1, 2011; Grimey Drawer

the new space jam is coming out on july 16th, coincidence?

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:43

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Wheeee posted:

to anyone hype for July 18,

text copied from this reddit post:

In July of 2020, someone made a post claiming their NASA friend told them aliens would arrive within the next year. This post was made months before TAA’s story was rediscovered, so it’s interesting that the time frame matches. The original post has since been deleted, but you can still find it here https://www.removeddit.com/r/UFOs/comments/hxinof/all_recent_news_on_ufos_is_part_of_a_plan/

Text from the original post:

The goverment is using media to get the masses relaxed with the idea of UFOs. So the majority of the public wont flip out. They wont be here with malicious purposes so no need to panic any way. They allegedly are going to help us make some kind of civilizational leap foward and get our planet cleaned up. I wish I could tell you how I know this but Im not even sure what Im saying is safe to say as silly as it sounds. Get ready, by this time next year shits gonna be crazy.

OP also left a more detailed comment:

One more post , was legitimately given information from a person I trust 100%. Works for NASA on nanotechnology and a few other projects. He was very vauge and wouldn't give to many specifics. Thing is, at least how he made it sound, they've been in contact with them for a long time. How long exactly I have no idea. They've been studying us much like we study tribes in the Amazon. They see us as a species worth saving/fixing given the right guidance. Apparently we have that need or desire to explore and learn but are pretty misguided and violent towards each other. But it seems part of their help will be for our own mental and physical health. I dont wanna say a whole lot more but it really sounds like some crazy type of renaissance lol! This person has no reason to lie to me nor do I see him being the type to make up poo poo about his work that he takes so seriously. But after a few drinks people open up and spill it. It was enough he called me and asked me to keep it quite....but who the hell cant share that? At least here I feel safe that most people will just think Im crazy or lying. But we'll all find out together withen the next year, possibly year and a half."

then, another user messaged the original poster, and received a response. their comment follows:

"I reached out to the OP, I’ll see if he has talked to his friend again or if he has more details

Update:

So, he responded to me. He stands by his original post. I feel like if it was a LARP then he would just admit it instead of doubling down. Especially since the post is 10 months old and didn’t get that many upvotes in the first place. I didn’t even mention throawaylien until after he responded. I gave him a link to this sub so maybe he’ll come here and make a post.

This is what he said to me:

“”

Well, technically they're already here. But its definitely a possibility that they will make themselves seen to all. I spoke to him briefly a few weeks ago after reaching out on Facebook. From what I understand there's a group of them, several races I believe that formed some sort of alliance a very long time ago and they honestly just want to help us. He said they know we have potential to be great but will destroy ourselves before doing so. They are apparently tired of earths earth's governments dragging their feet and aggravating with them for bargaining for technology. Which they know they will weaponize. Seems the aluens want to make contact in some big spectacle so millions of people will see and know they're here to help. Not sure what that plan is but thats the extent of what I know. It was supposed to be before next year but i guess may change. But be ready when it does happen. Gonna be a hell of a ride.

Look, i know i sound batshit crazy. But this guy is not really capable of lying. Hes kind of a physics savant. Something like that. He most definitely works for nasa. His work in nano tech is terrifyingly amazing and he has worked on a lot of their new propulsion ideas/prototypes. So i believe him 100%. But i still feel like a nut job talking about it. Im sorry

“”

I got righteously high last night and developed an intricate scenario of building the public's readiness for contact and increasing our monkey brain's capacity for empathy through targeted personal alien trainers in the form of other people we know that are constantly working to improve our better selves plus creative programming, especially sci fi. Through this we have struggled over the years to get here, where murder isn't a leading form of death (for most demographics). Could possibly make for a good short story, kind of Close Encounters meets They Live

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:50

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Like they hang out in the oceans because they have already made first contact with the whales. Star Trek IV a cylinder with a sphere came for the whales, coincidence? Its all to prep us.

Was really really good weed

# ? Jul 10, 2021 16:15

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

im looking forward to the aliens beaming down to sentinel island and getting spears chucked at them

also sentinel island 2.0 which is america and the spears have a rate of fire of 850 rounds per minute with a muzzle velocity of 715m/s and a maximum firing range of 1800m

# ? Jul 10, 2021 16:33

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

blatman posted:

im looking forward to the aliens beaming down to sentinel island and getting spears chucked at them

also sentinel island 2.0 which is america and the spears have a rate of fire of 850 rounds per minute with a muzzle velocity of 715m/s and a maximum firing range of 1800m

Literally the only outcome unless they actually somehow look like lily-white Scandinavians in which case they will be embraced without question

# ? Jul 10, 2021 16:34

Harry Potter on Ice: Nov 4, 2006; IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

Bilirubin posted:

Like they hang out in the oceans because they have already made first contact with the whales. Star Trek IV a cylinder with a sphere came for the whales, coincidence? Its all to prep us.

Was really really good weed

drat, maybe you're right. Plays perfectly with that bomb the military blew up in the ocean.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 16:36

endocriminologist: May 17, 2021; SUFFERINGLOVER:press send + soul + earth lol
inncntsoul:ok

(inncntsoul has left the game)

ARCHON_MASTER:lol
MAMMON69:lol

i hope the scandinavian aliens arent danes as i do not care for them

# ? Jul 10, 2021 16:43

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

Delta-Wye posted:

these stories feel like raccoons that have been collected, tested, tagged, and put back in the wild trying to explain to other raccoons what the gently caress just happened to them. ive always thought the walton tale made a lot of sense that way. they hit him with their fancy new sport model and felt bad so they took him to the ~~wildlife vet~~ bacta tank.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Throawaylien/comments/of7kky/posting_to_make_sure_this_is_visible_to_those/

hanger on? fellow abductee? tune in on the aitee and find out!!

ive always interpreted waltons abduction, assuming that what he relates happened in physical reality, as the alien equivalent of an endangered animal getting hit by a car

he ran up to the craft like a dumbass and it drat near killed him, so they had to haul him off to the vet. the vet patched him up and, after he tried to bite the poo poo out of them, they dropped him off as close as they could to some other humans

# ? Jul 10, 2021 17:12

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Shifty Nipples posted:

woah I was watching a u2 that flew out of Edwards AFB on that flight tracking website last night

e: I don't know how unusual it is to see but there is a drone doing loops over the Lassen peak area, probably wildfire related I think

Shifty Nipples posted:

now the drone is loitering over I5

This past Monday I saw a U2 flying over CT near the NY state line; the Air Force has been ramping up use of planes for surveillance during protests recently, I wonder if that's what they're up to.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 17:13

The Demilich: Apr 9, 2020; The First Rites of Men Were Mortuary, the First Altars Tombs.

Did we ever get updates on what that sonic boom off of California was yesterday?

The Demilich has issued a correction as of 18:26 on Jul 10, 2021

# ? Jul 10, 2021 17:28

Inspector Hound: Jul 14, 2003

The Demilich posted:

Dude we ever get updates on what that sonic boom off of California was yesterday?

I haven't seen a map comparing locations of reports to locations of air bases but I bet it's predictable

# ? Jul 10, 2021 17:31

WEH: Feb 22, 2009

GWBBQ posted:

This past Monday I saw a U2 flying over CT near the NY state line; the Air Force has been ramping up use of planes for surveillance during protests recently, I wonder if that's what they're up to.

Look for these guys doing loops as well

# ? Jul 10, 2021 17:55

Vomik: Jul 29, 2003; This post is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan

blatman posted:

im looking forward to the aliens beaming down to sentinel island and getting spears chucked at them

also sentinel island 2.0 which is america and the spears have a rate of fire of 850 rounds per minute with a muzzle velocity of 715m/s and a maximum firing range of 1800m

they can just disable all earth weapons at once duh

# ? Jul 10, 2021 18:18

Vomik: Jul 29, 2003; This post is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan

neutral milf hotel posted:

I mean, eradicating all humans would go a long way to that goal. so yeah

humans are the only ones who care about climate change. why would aliens

# ? Jul 10, 2021 18:40

WEH: Feb 22, 2009

neutral milf hotel posted:

I mean, eradicating all humans would go a long way to that goal. so yeah

Pulling that thread a bit, if they're all about stopping the impending extinction event, why are they only intervening now? Seems like they don't care about those until an organism gains sentience. I guess that assumes they've been watching us for a helluva lot longer than a couple hundred years or w/e but poo poo I'm just throwing ideas around

# ? Jul 10, 2021 19:22

wilfredmerriweathr: Jul 11, 2005

WEH posted:

Pulling that thread a bit, if they're all about stopping the impending extinction event, why are they only intervening now? Seems like they don't care about those until an organism gains sentience. I guess that assumes they've been watching us for a helluva lot longer than a couple hundred years or w/e but poo poo I'm just throwing ideas around

If what the reddit guy with the nasa friend posted is true, then yeah they've been watching the earth for thousands of years or more I would think and finally figured that a) we have the capacity to grow as a species and b) we are gonna destroy ourselves if we don't, and decided that we are worth saving. That would be nice.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 19:34

Delta-Wye: Sep 29, 2005

WEH posted:

Pulling that thread a bit, if they're all about stopping the impending extinction event, why are they only intervening now? Seems like they don't care about those until an organism gains sentience. I guess that assumes they've been watching us for a helluva lot longer than a couple hundred years or w/e but poo poo I'm just throwing ideas around

if you start mashing up stories, they have been around and mostly just watching out of idle curiosity (TAA's pyramid builder's video) until recently. Seems like they tried to get involved at the dawning of the atomic age and were told to gently caress off for a while?

# ? Jul 10, 2021 19:47

Wheeee: Mar 11, 2001; When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

aliens come to earth, spend thousands of years watching humanity suffer and grow until finally we master one of the primal forces of nature and split the atom, at which point the aliens make contact, but a handful of government assholes say gently caress off and the aliens respect the authority and allow billions of people to live and die in ignorance of their true place in the cosmos

aliens are libs

# ? Jul 10, 2021 21:40

Endless Trash: Aug 12, 2007

Wheeee posted:

aliens come to earth, spend thousands of years watching humanity suffer and grow until finally we master one of the primal forces of nature and split the atom, at which point the aliens make contact, but a handful of government assholes say gently caress off and the aliens respect the authority and allow billions of people to live and die in ignorance of their true place in the cosmos

aliens are libs

I hope we get space tax credits for living in an underdeveloped area for over 10 years

# ? Jul 10, 2021 21:46

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

new ooap just dropped

# ? Jul 10, 2021 22:02

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

^^^^^^^^^^^^ pfft fake

Wheeee posted:

aliens come to earth, spend thousands of years watching humanity suffer and grow until finally we master one of the primal forces of nature and split the atom, at which point the aliens make contact, but a handful of government assholes say gently caress off and the aliens respect the authority and allow billions of people to live and die in ignorance of their true place in the cosmos

aliens are libs

the bleakest thought of all

# ? Jul 10, 2021 22:02

WEH: Feb 22, 2009

From Best UFO Cases: Europe, which I forgot I had and also have forgotten most of since I read it years ago

# ? Jul 10, 2021 22:14

endocriminologist: May 17, 2021; SUFFERINGLOVER:press send + soul + earth lol
inncntsoul:ok

(inncntsoul has left the game)

ARCHON_MASTER:lol
MAMMON69:lol

Google Butt posted:

new ooap just dropped

now this guy I�m into

# ? Jul 10, 2021 22:22

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

WEH posted:

"The main intention of these objects then and today seems to be to hover in the air."

# ? Jul 10, 2021 22:29

Ross DaouThot: Aug 31, 2018; when i hit that loud and open cspam the adam curtis music starts playing

Wheeee posted:

to anyone hype for July 18,

text copied from this reddit post:

In July of 2020, someone made a post claiming their NASA friend told them aliens would arrive within the next year. This post was made months before TAA’s story was rediscovered, so it’s interesting that the time frame matches. The original post has since been deleted, but you can still find it here https://www.removeddit.com/r/UFOs/comments/hxinof/all_recent_news_on_ufos_is_part_of_a_plan/

Text from the original post:

The goverment is using media to get the masses relaxed with the idea of UFOs. So the majority of the public wont flip out. They wont be here with malicious purposes so no need to panic any way. They allegedly are going to help us make some kind of civilizational leap foward and get our planet cleaned up. I wish I could tell you how I know this but Im not even sure what Im saying is safe to say as silly as it sounds. Get ready, by this time next year shits gonna be crazy.

OP also left a more detailed comment:

One more post , was legitimately given information from a person I trust 100%. Works for NASA on nanotechnology and a few other projects. He was very vauge and wouldn't give to many specifics. Thing is, at least how he made it sound, they've been in contact with them for a long time. How long exactly I have no idea. They've been studying us much like we study tribes in the Amazon. They see us as a species worth saving/fixing given the right guidance. Apparently we have that need or desire to explore and learn but are pretty misguided and violent towards each other. But it seems part of their help will be for our own mental and physical health. I dont wanna say a whole lot more but it really sounds like some crazy type of renaissance lol! This person has no reason to lie to me nor do I see him being the type to make up poo poo about his work that he takes so seriously. But after a few drinks people open up and spill it. It was enough he called me and asked me to keep it quite....but who the hell cant share that? At least here I feel safe that most people will just think Im crazy or lying. But we'll all find out together withen the next year, possibly year and a half."

then, another user messaged the original poster, and received a response. their comment follows:

"I reached out to the OP, I’ll see if he has talked to his friend again or if he has more details

Update:

So, he responded to me. He stands by his original post. I feel like if it was a LARP then he would just admit it instead of doubling down. Especially since the post is 10 months old and didn’t get that many upvotes in the first place. I didn’t even mention throawaylien until after he responded. I gave him a link to this sub so maybe he’ll come here and make a post.

This is what he said to me:

“”

Well, technically they're already here. But its definitely a possibility that they will make themselves seen to all. I spoke to him briefly a few weeks ago after reaching out on Facebook. From what I understand there's a group of them, several races I believe that formed some sort of alliance a very long time ago and they honestly just want to help us. He said they know we have potential to be great but will destroy ourselves before doing so. They are apparently tired of earths earth's governments dragging their feet and aggravating with them for bargaining for technology. Which they know they will weaponize. Seems the aluens want to make contact in some big spectacle so millions of people will see and know they're here to help. Not sure what that plan is but thats the extent of what I know. It was supposed to be before next year but i guess may change. But be ready when it does happen. Gonna be a hell of a ride.

Look, i know i sound batshit crazy. But this guy is not really capable of lying. Hes kind of a physics savant. Something like that. He most definitely works for nasa. His work in nano tech is terrifyingly amazing and he has worked on a lot of their new propulsion ideas/prototypes. So i believe him 100%. But i still feel like a nut job talking about it. Im sorry

“”

thinkign about dr. haim eshed again...

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:15

Shifty Nipples: Apr 8, 2007

A MIRACLE posted:

it�s THE 5

Yes I am aware of how Californians refer to Interstate five but I do not reside in California.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:24

Ratios and Tendency: Apr 23, 2010; MURALI

They're here to save the bonobos.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:43

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 09:34

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

Shifty Nipples posted:

Yes I am aware of how Californians refer to Interstate five but I do not reside in California.

only southern californians say it like that :colbert:

birds on the other hand have no need for interstates or any puny weak human "words" or "numbers" aside from the mysterious magic ratio of 69:420, which they have not encountered on any other world

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:51

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] big mummy, big mummy, no whammies

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