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The Man Festival is the best part of the game.
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Jul 11, 2021 06:04
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Um but what about the woman festival?? 
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Jul 11, 2021 06:53
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Happy Landfill posted:Um but what about the woman festival?? That's taking place in another part of the SH verse. There's a whole other party of weirdos losing their collective minds because of it.
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Jul 11, 2021 07:48
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I'm fairly certain that the universe would implode on itself if there two festivals like that in the same timeline. Even Multiverse Theory has its limits.
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Jul 11, 2021 12:26
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Considering how insanely dumb this game has been time and time again I'm strangely looking forward to whatever this segment is going to be.
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Jul 11, 2021 16:00
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ultrafilter posted:Some people who haven't played the game might think we're overselling the Man Festival. We're not. I've forgotten a lot about this game in the sixteen years since I played it, but I will always remember finishing it and sitting on my couch unable to completely comprehend what I had just seen. Happy Landfill posted:Um but what about the woman festival??
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Jul 11, 2021 18:17
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I'm ready for the MAN FESTIVAL! 
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Jul 11, 2021 21:13
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Omobono posted:But this is 2021 so I assume we (collective we) are more inured to insanity. To quote a character from a recent event in a phone game I'm playing: "I've gotten so used to this weirdness that it's hard to keep track of what's strange anymore."
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Jul 11, 2021 21:49
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All right! Let the manliness commence. Hope everyone's ready to grind. Dear lord, the grind.
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Jul 15, 2021 09:17
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Episode CXXXV: The Challenge.jpg) It's time. It's time to do it. It's time for... The Man Festival. But...  Music: Rising Sun ~ Japanese Town .jpg) We do have a tad bit of set-up here. We want everyone to be at peak performance. And I mean that equipment-wise, I'm not grinding. I just want to finish this cursed LP. .jpg)  I made up a Stud Car quiz now that I've got all the cards. You're gonna give it a try, right? None of this is in character, but... Okay, okay! I'll do it!.jpg) So our first endgame trial is carefully studying the details of the beefcake porn cards. This is linked to finishing out Anastasia's ultimate weapon. Yeah, not into it either on that front... The quiz questions and answers if you want to do that... That's your time. I won't judge: .jpg) What does chef and restauranteur Miccoli, have in his left hand? A fry pan How does soul man O'Brian, top bodybuilder, wear his hair? Afro What does France's top bodybuilder, Marcel, do for a living? Sommelier What color loincloth does the last samurai, Ogasawara, wear? Red Who is England's top bodybuilder and super-sleuth? Ashley What instrument does the popular musician O'Brian, play? Sax What can you smell if you rub the vest of the masked wrestler? Curry What is the occupation of Russia's top bodybuilder, Kalpin? Ballerina Japan's top bodybuilder, Mr. Samurai, what's his name? Ogasawara What does the ultimate matador, Enrique, have in his mouth? A rose How many world bodybuilders that appear on cards have their back turned? 1 What does Marcel, France's largest sommelier, have in his right hand? A wine glass What field does Dr. Oliver, Germany's top bodybuilder, work in? Gynecology How many bodybuilders that appear on stud cards have nothing in their hands? 2 What is the occupation of Italy's top bodybuilder, Miccoli? Chef What color underwear does the Indian top bodybuilder, Mr. Wrestler, wear? Black What does Oliver, German Mr. Doctor, have in his left hand? Medical records How does super-sleuth Ashley like to spend his spare time? Reading Which ballet did superstar ballerina Kalpin perform entirely solo? Swan Lake People call Enrique, Spain's top bodybuilder, the "Iberian..." what? Red Tornado .jpg) .jpg) And thus we gain the fifth and final Silver Angel for Anastasia's ultimate weapon quest. .jpg) .jpg) And so we're leaving town and the continent to cash that poo poo in. Remember Edgar? The weird old guy that helped Anastasia do crimes and nearly got executed for treason when Rasputin was being a dick? Well... Music: Town of Twilight ~ European Town .jpg) Well, we're going back to see him as he did have a sidequest involving collecting five of these things for reasons unknown. Let's turn that in. .jpg)   E-Edgar! What's wrong? You look exhausted! I'm sorry... There have been a lot of matters the Emperor and the Empress have needs for me to attend to. There might be a small matter of a revolution on the horizon and that isn't too great for your family. Pfft. These paupers will never dare. <very concerned look> Uh-huh. They want me to make something to help you. They know you're not about to stop all your crazy adventures... Mother and father asked you... But you're so worn out, Edgar! Well, I'm getting a little old for all this. I've been staying up all night the past few nights. But it wasn't a waste. I've finished it now! My heart and soul went into this. My ultimate Easter egg...! ...Sorry you went to all that trouble for me! It's very kind of you. Thanks. It's no trouble at all. Mess with this all you like. Out of the country. For at least the next two years. Ehhh? Look, just trust me on this one. Do you have a place to vacation? I am becoming fond of Japan. Excellent! Just... stay there... for a while. A few years. Maybe in exile forever, I'm not sure? OK... You'll thank me later. But... in the end... Please save your thanks for the Emperor and Empress. Oh, Princess... There's something on your cuff... Huh? Hey! I found that the other day. It's fashion! It might not be of any use, but it's still fashionable!  Let's see... Ah, there you go! All gone! Huh?! An angel? A S-Silver Angel?! P-Princess, where did you find this?!  This? I dunno. I came across them all over the place. Five of them in all. Several boring sidequests. I don't want to talk about it. Five?! You got all five?! What's wrong with you?! You've been acting all weird ever since you saw this useless scrap of paper! Don't you know?! About exchanging five Silver Angels or one Gold one? For the legendary... ...... I... uh... ahem! I just think it's such a beautiful design. I fell in love with it as soon as I set eyes on it. If they're no use to you, Princess, perhaps you could let me have them?!  Why did you change your tune all of a sudden? What are you hiding? <shakes head and shrugs> N-nothing! I'm not hiding anything I... I should just go and make the final adjustments to that Easter egg... But I don't know... I'm just so tired. If only I had something to get excited about, that would really perk me up... Talk about transparent! Are you a traitor to the state?! NO! No, no, no. But I have an ultimate weapon. Well, that's different. But... <looks at Yuri> I'll say! Well, do you think I should give them to him? I don't see why not. I have zero stakes in this.  Really? Are you sure! You are sure! I won't give them back to you, even if you beg me! That's extremely weird to say before I give a thing to you but OK... I get it, all right?! I said I'd give them to you, so just calm down! Now... now the legendary Can... Oh! I nearly forgot! Just a moment...Sometime later... .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) And thus we receive the ULTIMATE EGG, the Golden Angel. It's cursed but don't worry about that. It has +190 Physical and +207 Special Attack Power. .jpg) ...I don't know. Something's not right. It's bothering me....jpg) If this is referencing something, it's beyond me. But we're done ever speaking with Edgar or going to Russia again. It's a silly place. Let's go to a much sillier place. Like Japan. It's time! Music: Rising Sun ~ Japanese Town .jpg) We're going to be here for a while. And we're going to need to do some kitting out of the entire party. Particularly, we want a Pocket Watch on Lucia and Kurando to avoid Ring Abnormalities. Technically, Karin too but Anne's Cross takes care of that. Or a Crucifix but we're not giving that to those two. Gepetto should get a Cosmic Bracelet so he doesn't get his abilities sealed. Blanca is going to want a Will Power to evade SP Lowering. It would be bad if our good boy went Berserk. And finally, Joachim and Anastasia want Leonardo's Bears as Instant Death could be a threat. .jpg) With that all taken care of, we need to return to the squared circle of the wrestling ring and speak with the Great Gama. Music: ENDS .jpg)  <does squats and grunts loudly> <notices the party approaching and stops> Oh...?.jpg) Oh! So it's you guys! It's a good day for a fight! You have come all this way. Do you think you can handle meeeeee?!Music: Gathering God ~ Thrill .jpg)  Teeeeeeacher!! We have come here to ask you a favor!!.jpg) Oh yes, favor asker! I'm open for questions 24-7!! If you got a problem, spit it out!! Open your heart. Your body will follow!! You will forget all your troubles!!.jpg) Uh-oh. It's started <nods> Uh-huh. This is going to get REALLY stupid, isn't it? <nods> Uh-huh..jpg) I have come here... to save the world! This may be the very last time that you and I ever meet! Mine is the soul of a TRUE warrior! I've never backed down from a fight! Oh, yeah...!? Well, mister never back down from a fight, what is this favor you are asking of me?.jpg) The intensity is just incredible... <nods> Yeah. That's one way to put it..jpg) I've come here for one reason only... For the Man Festival!! The Man Festival?!Music: ENDS .jpg) You don't mean it... <folds arms angrily> You mean to challenge me in the Man Festival?!.jpg) ...... ...... ...... Huh? What's that?! That sounds kind of... nasty. I hate this already..jpg) It's the ultimate test for wrestlers... The cruelest of all trials. The Man Festival... The Man Festival....jpg) Yes, the Man Festival! Countless wrestlers have tried, but every one of them has paid the ultimate price. The physical body is pushed beyond all endurance, and the spirit is tested to madness. Anyone who can survive the test will become heir to me, the Great Gama. But are you prepared to suffer the consequence of losing as well?!.jpg) <shudder and steps back> I'll show no pity to the loser! <gasps and steps back further>.jpg) Fail, and will pay the ultimate price with a baptism that will strip away your manly dignity. <shakes in fright>.jpg) Even you, Joachim! <flexes> Will be given no quarter! I... I... I'll never lose!!.jpg) <clenches fist> Victory will be mine!! Very well said, Joachim. I would expect nothing less from my pupil!.jpg) H-hey! Wow! This is going to be great! We are going to be witnesses to history here! Huh? Oh... oh, yeah. Again, that's one way to put it... I don't know if you're old enough to see this. I am not missing this for the world! I'm not going to stop you. But... you are a little too enthusiastic to see... whatever this is....jpg) .jpg) Music: Grand Papillon!! ~ Pro Wrestler .jpg) The entire ring begins shaking and suddenly reveals... .jpg) ...a second ring beneath it... .jpg) Okay!!.jpg) Oh yeah!! <grunts loudly>.jpg) ...And a third ring... .jpg) In fact, it just keeps revealing more and more rings and raises high into a tower of wrestling rings. .jpg) ...Wow... ...... ...You've got to be making GBS threads me!.jpg) Mmm. ...Time to begin the Man Festival! The Tower of the Holy Ring is coooooompleted!! Come on up to the top! I'll be waiting for you here. Yeeeeess!!.jpg) I'll be coming up to meet you!!.jpg) So. Are you all ready to fight our way up a hundred-story tall wrestling ring? That's where we are at now. This is it. The ultimate shitpost sidequest Shadow Hearts: Covenant has to offer. .jpg) Once we begin, there is no turning back. The Man Festival has begun... .jpg) .jpg) Oh and as far as our opponents go in the Tower of the Holy Ring? .jpg) Meet the first of the Curry Men. It's weird dancing men in thongs with a plate of curry on their head all the way until the Great Garma at the peak of the tower. .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) Shadow Hearts: Covenant has starting giving so little of a gently caress it is now giving anti-fucks and previously given fucks are being erased from the timeline.   Just one thing! You can't have more people taking part than the number of us in the c-committee, c-cluck! <clenches fist> No problem! We'll storm this! Chicken c-curry's pretty lean and mean! Don't be so c-cocky, c-cluck!.jpg) Tune in next time for... all this. This is happening. This is our lives now. In the ring.    Video: The Man Festival Begins (Watch this.)    Great Gama Concept Art - So that's how you tie that thing.
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Jul 15, 2021 14:30
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I've never even attempted the Man Festival and have only seen bits and pieces through other VLPs and stuff, mainly some of the zanier stuff that goes on at the end, but gently caress me, I was not expecting to see some butt cheeks this early on.
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Jul 15, 2021 14:34
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Jul 15, 2021 14:36
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I'm curious to see what that infamous line originally was in Japanese.
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Jul 15, 2021 15:24
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 It begins.
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Jul 15, 2021 15:57
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Wait...so if this thing is 100 wrestling rings high, doesn't that make it taller than the tower Dehuai used to nuke Shanghai in the previous game?
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Jul 15, 2021 16:44
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MachuPikacchu posted:Wait...so if this thing is 100 wrestling rings high, doesn't that make it taller than the tower Dehuai used to nuke Shanghai in the previous game? Oh no, there goes Tokyo~
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Jul 15, 2021 16:51
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I'd kinda figured this would be some sexually suggestive homoeroticism-themed wrestling event. I could not have expected an... Army? of dancing clucking men in a thong carrying a plate of curry on their heads.
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Jul 15, 2021 17:18
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Prediction: Gama himself is Joachim's ultimate weapon.
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Jul 15, 2021 17:20
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BDA posted:Prediction: Gama himself is Joachim's ultimate weapon. We've already seen Joachim's ultimate weapon. It's a nuclear submarine whose crew he convinced to not use their doomsday weapon and end the world.
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Jul 15, 2021 17:23
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GimmickMan posted:I'd kinda figured this would be some sexually suggestive homoeroticism-themed wrestling event. Is that not homoerotic for you? I am joking, despite how weird Japan's stereotypes about gay men can seem at times.
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Jul 15, 2021 17:55
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If you think this is weird, try the Cat Festival. A huge kitty tower covered in lounging felines that occasionally battle it out over various comfy spots as you go up. The amount of fur that must be cleaned up afterwards is enough to kill anyone with an allergy to it. The event is… [AN’s cat gives him a pleading expression] No. No, we are not going. How will participation in this be any different from what you do in my living room every day? Ok, you’re right, maybe you can be champion. Now I have to find out. Augh!
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Jul 15, 2021 18:41
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Oh my god.
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Jul 15, 2021 18:54
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achtungnight posted:If you think this is weird, try the Cat Festival. A huge kitty tower covered in lounging felines that occasionally battle it out over various comfy spots as you go up. The amount of fur that must be cleaned up afterwards is enough to kill anyone with an allergy to it. The event is… [AN’s cat gives him a pleading expression] No. No, we are not going. How will participation in this be any different from what you do in my living room every day? Ok, you’re right, maybe you can be champion. Now I have to find out. Augh! Is this from shadow hearts 3?
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Jul 15, 2021 19:52
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Omobono posted:Is this from shadow hearts 3? I'll spoiler the answer. No, it is not. In depth spoiler, as much as it matters for comedy JRPG. The Valentine has a Sushi Man Festival to beat, and there's a strange alternative to Wolf Bouts that are Cat Bouts, but also Hollywood Movies. IIRC
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Jul 15, 2021 20:10
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GimmickMan posted:I'd kinda figured this would be some sexually suggestive homoeroticism-themed wrestling event. I was personally imagining a Drakengard! style genre shift and Joachim would be shmuping his way through Cho Anaki.
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Jul 15, 2021 20:38
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I don't know which eyepop smilie I should use for this.
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Jul 15, 2021 22:52
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No, that's not from Shadow Hearts 3. I made it up, hoping to stoke laughter from any fellow fans of Internet cat humor. My cat could totally win the Cat Festival, though, if there was such a thing. As for the Man Festival, it's crazy but funny. I doubt I'd participate in real life. Curry is extremely hot and wrestling while balancing a plate of it on your head doesn't really seem wise or doable.
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Jul 15, 2021 23:01
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Curry is hot from the spices, not the literal scorching temperature of the food. I don't think spiciness transmits through crockery. Hey if we're gonna get weird, we're in the right place
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Jul 15, 2021 23:05
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 It begins.
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Jul 16, 2021 01:12
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This is the kind of ridiculous energy I love about Shadow Hearts.
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Jul 16, 2021 06:20
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Man, could you imagine the power of a flying body slam from the top of that thing? Joachim would totally use that as his ultimate technique. ...That's Joachim's ultimate technique, isn't it? (Seriously, I'm actually wondering about that, I haven't actually played this game remember. But I suppose my question will be answered in due time) Welp, guess I'll settle in for this absolute repository of ridiculousness. It promises to be a unique experience (for better or worse) if nothing else.
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Jul 16, 2021 10:35
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The Man Festival is good and pure
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Jul 16, 2021 12:06
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Ibblebibble posted:I'm curious to see what that infamous line originally was in Japanese. I went and looked it up. ありえない… 純正統派超大作RPGとしてありえない… They were taking the piss there too. It's basically the same line.
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Jul 16, 2021 13:05
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IT'S TIME TO GET MANLY
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Jul 16, 2021 18:42
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Jul 16, 2021 19:33
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Uh huh...uh huh, I see...*pulls out note pad* "four...wrestling rings...stacked on top...of each other". Got it
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Jul 16, 2021 21:16
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Happy Landfill posted:Uh huh...uh huh, I see...*pulls out note pad* "four...wrestling rings...stacked on top...of each other". Got it It's actually 100 levels high, but the PS2 can't really render all that.
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Jul 16, 2021 21:27
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Kurieg posted:It's actually 100 levels high, but the PS2 can't really render all that.  I completely missed that
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Jul 17, 2021 00:49
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Robindaybird posted:honestly as someone else said it feels like some of these trials are an excuse for Anastasia to get snapshots of enemies that would otherwise no longer exist by the time you get her. some of her snapshots are from bosses you fight long before she joins, also, it just feels nice filling her album.
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Jul 18, 2021 09:48
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Episode CXXXVI: Many Strong Men Await.jpg) Here we are. The Man Festival. One hundred stories of wrestling rings with a challenge to be dealt with of the legion of Curry Men await. Who are the Curry Men? Where did they come from? What is the process of becoming a Curry Man? Do you need to perform a trial and immense training? At birth are they deemed a Curry Man by a mystic council? Do you fill out a job application and it's a temp gig? Are they human manifestations of the curry they represent? Have they all just been lurking deep in the earth beneath Nihonbashi this whole time, waiting for the day for the ultimate challenge to be tackled by a worthy contender? gently caress if I know! But they're here and you'd better strap in. As this is a goddamn grind of a sidequest. I've used Joachim nearly the entirety of the game since he joined the party in anticipation of this going faster. It still took me over two and a half hours from the opening cutscene with Great Gama to the point I could save the game and leave Nihonbashi forever. This is a sidequest you grind through while watching something in the background. I've been watching a lot of Columbo lately. Sadly, when recording this, I did not have the Columbo Dimension at my disposal. That aside. We're going to be here a while. So let's get into it. Music: Vicious 1915 ~ Battle in Europe .jpg) So, as the Curry Man receptionist previously stated, there are only allowed to be as many combatants as there are Curry Men in the ring. By default, Joachim is the prime party member in fights. He may get help for tag team matches. But if there is a single combatant, it's Joachim on his own. .jpg) Our first of many (questionably) strong men is Murgh Korma is a chicken curry with little to no spice containing cream or yogurt. The thinks pepper is too much for their palette whitest of white people spice option at an Indian restaurant. The Curry Man carrying the namesake is also an Earth elemental with 340 HP. Interestingly, someone on the localization team must have chowed down on curry regularly because they have (kind of) proper curry names you'd order while the original Japanese text this guy was just literally Chicken Curry Sweet and the rest of them were similarly "<Curry Type> Curry - <Spice Level>" naming scheme. So that's a fun flare for the localization. .jpg) Battle wise the Curry Men all share the same exact attack animations. It is either a flailing series of windmill punches ending on a headbutt filled with a plate of curry or a flamboyant kick leading to an rear end thrust launcher. Or they'll do the Yoga pose and levitate (you know the one where Dhalsim from Street Fighter teleports) to cast a spell that is almost universally going to be a buff for the enemy side. The Curry Men attack with their muscles, not magic. These attacks will get progressively stronger and gain different debilitating attributes on them but... that's kind of it. For all these fights. It is... not... too... engaging to actually play through. We're here for the beginning and the end for the most part. The middle is... taxing. .jpg) Anyhow, Joachim can smoke this guy in less than a full attack string. Bodied. Music: Result ~ Victory .jpg) Another factor of the Curry Men is, while they might occasionally drop an item upon the 3-count victory, they otherwise universally yield exactly one experience point... one unit of Cash... and 1 Soul Power each. That's it! Which, I suppose, is more than Solomon's Trials battles. But... it somehow feels more insulting to just get 1 unit of everything per victory rather than nothing at all and moving on. Music: Grand Papillon!! ~ Pro Wrestler .jpg) .jpg) Every single time we win a match, Joachim will say this line. And then leap straight into the air. Presumably smashing through the ring that instantly mends itself because I think Great Gama is just an enemy Stand user and this is his deal. .jpg) .jpg) Murgh is a word of Persian origin that made its way to India and is just "chicken." Masala, per Wikipedia, is a term from the Indian subcontinent for a spice mix in certain proportions. A masala can be either a combination of dried (and usually dry-roasted) spices, or a paste (such as vindaloo masala) made from a mixture of spices and other ingredients—often garlic, ginger, onions, chili paste, and tomato. It's the mild spice curry or the white people starting to sweat variety. And this guy has 350 HP and Water element and is otherwise unremarkable. .jpg) .jpg) Madras is a curry sauce that is usually red and made with chili powder. Now we gettin' spicy. The good stuff! Appropriately this Curry Man is Fire elemental and has 360 HP. And that's about it. The Madras variety of Curry Men tend to cast buffs like Surge or Gale and the like. To spice things up, you see. .jpg) .jpg)  The Twin Typhoon, Chick Rider 1 and Chick Rider 2! Power and technique c-combined, c-cluuuck!.jpg) Now it's time to mix things up. A little bit. Tag team match! These first handful of levels of the Tower of the Holy Ring are pathetically easy after we've done most of the end game content. So, you know what? It seems appropriate Joachim and Anastasia form a tag-team alliance. They're probably heels because Anastasia is a little poo poo and Joachim will reluctantly bash a Curry Man in the back of the head with a steel chair while Anastasia cuts a promo challenge and they'll both stomp a mudhole in them afterward. That gremlin could probably cut a pretty decent poo poo-talking promo, thinking about it. .jpg) All we're doing is fighting a combo of previous Curry Men Murgh Korma and Murgh Masala. I'm not sure how ring legal dropping a meteor is on an opponent. But again, Anastasia. 100% a heel in the ring. .jpg) .jpg) I don't like the term Chicken Rod. Just gonna say it outright. Not a fan of this business. No sir. Beyond that, this is Murgh Korma and Murgh Madras teaming up. .jpg) .jpg) Huh? They said their team name was "Chicken Rod." Word c-c-came down from c-corporate to rebrand after a parental out c-c-cry. C-c-cluuuck! Uhh... What does that mean? There is no time to explain the inner workings of the business end of wrestling! We must face this challenge!Here Murgh Masala and Murgh Madras have formed a less than deadly alliance. .jpg) .jpg)  C-c-c-cluuuuck! Chikitan! Chikila! Chikirata! The three Chickenizers! C-Come on, c-cluck!.jpg) Three-man bouts start now in the Chick Curry Man league. Anastasia is going to move to a management position and cut promos for the party and we're going to get serious... just to make this go faster... by having Yuri and Karin enter the squared circle alongside the mandatory Joachim. This match is two Murgh Korma and a Murgh Masala. Apparently, these Curry Men names are ranks. Though I kind of wish it was just the same three guys scurrying up to do another match floor by floor. .jpg) .jpg) This is more birdmen than anyone can handle. Or it's Murgh Masala times two and a Murgh Korma. They are dicks in these fights by purposefully spacing out the Curry Men at the start of battles so no AOE magic can just immediately nuke them all and we can move on. That wouldn't bring honor to the ring. .jpg) .jpg) I wouldn't recommend eating shark. They piss through their skin. Eagle doesn't seem like it would be good eatin' nor does panther. Can we just stick with chicken? That aside, this is a combo of all three Murgh Madras, Murgh Korma, and Murgh Masala. .jpg) .jpg) If you can't take the heat, don't start so spicy! The tenth level of most of the Tower contains the mid-boss Curry Man of the league. Such as this, Man Festival Committee Assistant Manager Murgh Vindaloo. Vindaloo is a spicy rear end curry sauce made with chili, peppers, root-ginger, and vinegar and is usually the gently caress me up fam but don't kill me level of spicy curry you can order in joints. This wrestler is a Wind elemental with 360 HP and can actually do somewhere approaching three digits of damage. For reference, all his predecessors could not. For an entire attack string. .jpg) .jpg) So the game is generous and we do not have to tackle the entire Man Festival in one sitting. It is possible to warp out to stock up on supplies and save the game and whatnot. Perhaps, in theory, this is meant to be chipped away at as we tackled other endgame business. But, I mean, who actually does that? You always just smash your face into the gladiator arena gauntlet sidequest when it is presented. Plus, the only other side content left is... the other battle gauntlet. Ugh. Well, we're not going to finish this today. But we can probably handle another ten floors. .jpg) .jpg) Wateeeer! Breeead! The curry ninja is on fire! Oink, oink! Meet the Pork Masala Barrel!.jpg) A new tag team duo has formed with Joachim and Yuri. I bet Yuri knows his way around a steel chair and has good mic work in the ring but cuts absolutely poo poo promos outside of bouts. Just kind of mumbles and forgets his lines and storms off.  So we've reached the Pork Curry league. Though they localized it to Gosht which, last I checked in my culinary knowledge, was usually mutton and goat. Right? Which is decidedly not pork... They kind of flubbed this naming scheme. These two are Gosht Korma, a Light elemental with 380 HP and his attacks are stronger than the Chicken variety and also innately inflict Evasion Down. And Gosht Masala, a Dark Elemental with 390 HP and can likewise inflict Physical Attack down. Still, they're very much on the tap out to a single physical attack string tier enemies. .jpg) .jpg) This level adds Gosht Madras to the stew with 400 HP and the Earth elemental alignment. This flavor of Curry Man can lower Physical Defense with his headbutts and butt stomps. Very rude. .jpg) .jpg) Gosht Madras and Gosht Masala enter the squared circle on this floor. Hey, have I mentioned if a pre-fight starts at this camera angle is over here it zooms in right on the guy in front's rear end before the screen shatters to the fight transition. I won't subject you to that. But know, that it is happening... Keep that deep in your hearts. .jpg) .jpg) Saffron Chop! Mint Chop! Turmeric Chop! The three ingredients of the Pork Choppers! Oink!.jpg) We're back to a three-man tag team. And you know what? There's nothing in the rule book that says a dog can't wrestle! Tag in, Blanca! We should probably try to keep Karin out of the ring until Vince dies. They'd just squander her potential. Oh yeah, I guess we're taking on two Gosht Korma and a Gosht Madras. .jpg) .jpg) All three of the Gosht Squad are stepping into the ring for this match. I got convinced to watch Wrestlemania five or six years ago and I wanted to die by the end because it was like loving four hours long. I don't remember a single interesting match. I just remember getting up to get another drink and coming back to Triple HHH dressed like a cyborg Shao Khan and flanked by Terminators and being very confused. .jpg) .jpg) Gosht Madras times two and Gosht Korma. I still have a friend that occasionally watches the WWE. They are utterly defeated. His smile and optimism: gone. Just there with a frown slumped in a chair silently hoping Vince McMahon's heart finally explodes in his roided up chest. .jpg) .jpg) Aaaargh! For a Korma, I'm not so sweet! Oink!We're back to Joachim solo matches. We're just going to burn through all three of the Gosht Squad the next few levels. It's an inverse of the Chick Curry league. This is really shaking up the batch! .jpg) .jpg) Sir, please never again use the term "Gosht gore" I don't like it. .jpg) .jpg) I wonder if the Indian restaurant joint in town survived the pandemic intact. I know it's still open but there's a difference between being open and being open on life support open. I've ordered from a few places where they're clearly running on fumes and scraping by and the output has turned to poo poo. The restaurant industry hit hard by the plague. But restaurant owners also the cheapest motherfuckers on the planet so ehh... Oh no, you can't find people to work like a slave and only take breaks to smoke for lovely pay. Oh no... Oh no! Tiniest violin playing in sympathy. .jpg) .jpg) This is where you pig out! Ooooink!.jpg) We're finishing out with another tag team match and Yuri is once again going to be our man for the job. .jpg) For this final throw down we have Fish Curry, which is confusing to be the head of the pork selection of Curry Men, which has actually approached a real enemy with 890 HP and the appropriate Water element. He casts Shield on himself and his cohort at the start of the battle. Flanking him is Gosht Vindaloo with 410 HP and also of the Water element. He casts Barrier on the enemy party at the start. Unfortunately for them, they're really trying to put Joachim over the top in this storyline so they fail to stop his rising up the ranks. .jpg) But for today, we are going to tap out. Many strong men still await.  Curry Men Concept Art - Impeccable balance.
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Jul 19, 2021 16:51
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