GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

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Elephant Ambush: Nov 13, 2012; ...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?; Nap Ghost

Those are totally not Nathen sockpuppet accounts

# ? Jul 10, 2021 06:14

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# ? May 24, 2024 14:18

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Elephant Ambush posted:

Those are totally not Nathen sockpuppet accounts

You can tell by how many times the food reviews mention Nathen Mazri by name.

(Nathen Mazri)

# ? Jul 10, 2021 09:03

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Frank Frank posted:

You can tell by how many times the food reviews mention Nathen Mazri by name.

(Nathen Mazri)

The internet celebrity Nathen Mazri?

# ? Jul 10, 2021 09:37

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Nathen "Fitness Celebrity John Basedow" Mazri

# ? Jul 10, 2021 09:44

CodfishCartographer: Feb 23, 2010; Gadus Maprocephalus; Pillbug

Nah I'm fairly certain the user named Kristopher loves Mazri is legit and not affiliated with the product in any way.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 09:55

pseudanonymous: Aug 30, 2008; When you make the second entry and the debits and credits balance, and you blow them to hell.

Elephant Ambush posted:

Those are totally not Nathen sockpuppet accounts

They're so blatant I feel like I'm in double bluff territory. He does have a lot of people who like to mock him, I could see some of them being not by him.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 10:11

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

jetz0r posted:

Holy poo poo, this is sad in how blatant it is.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 11:18

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

pseudanonymous posted:

They're so blatant I feel like I'm in double bluff territory. He does have a lot of people who like to mock him, I could see some of them being not by him.

We may try to copy his mannerisms when we mock him, but I don't think there's ever been a Nathen Mazri impersonator who could truly capture them. Not like this.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 11:31

crazy eyes mustafa: Nov 30, 2014

jetz0r posted:

The PF site has some amazing totally legit reviews of the hot dogs that all got posted on the same day, right after a 1 star review.

I am not a doctor of any description but this seems insane to me

# ? Jul 10, 2021 13:02

Zeniel: Oct 18, 2013

jetz0r posted:

Boy a lot of Canadians sure love ellipses and don't know how to spell "loser"

# ? Jul 10, 2021 14:25

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

jetz0r posted:

You can get them delivered to your home in Toronto, or pick up from select Penguin Fresh locations in Toronto.

The PF site has some amazing totally legit reviews of the hot dogs that all got posted on the same day, right after a 1 star review.

I love how three of the four reviews include the word 'hahah' spelt with an 'h' at the end.

Just a coincidence, hahah.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 14:46

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

BigBadSteve posted:

I love how three of the four reviews include the word 'hahah' spelt with an 'h' at the end.

Just a coincidence, hahah.

That's exactly how I write out Tommy Wiseau's laugh.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 14:51

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

jetz0r posted:

Good lord, it�s like some zero-budget horror movie off Redbox. Super Fanvestors: Squad of Nathen

When did he start entergaging fanvestors anyway? Has that been a thing since the restaurant closed?

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:00

necroid: May 14, 2009

jetz0r posted:

lol

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:08

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Five Nights at 'Fieldy's

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:20

abigserve: Sep 13, 2009; this is a better avatar than what I had before

when i think woody woodpecker there's only one thing that springs to mind - cheese platters

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:22

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

abigserve posted:

when i think woody woodpecker there's only one thing that springs to mind - cheese platters

But it�s made of wood. It makes perfect sense.

Nathen is like someone from another planet trying hard to learn how to be human.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:28

Nice Guy Patron: Jun 29, 2015

Woody woodpeckers mortadella and chevre.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 15:35

FUCK SNEEP: Apr 21, 2007

I'm one of the looooosers obsessed with Nathan. Hahah love it

# ? Jul 10, 2021 16:00

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Woody. Wood. Pecker. We know why you suggested that cartoon character, Nathen.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 16:36

naughty joystick: Jun 6, 2011

The mentioning of Reddit made me curious if some recent post set him off, but the only one with any significant activity was the one posted in r/Toronto almost 7 months ago. Then if you sort by newest comment you get this lovely gem from 45 days ago:

posted:

TAKE IT FROM ME... FOLLOWED NATHEN FOR 3 YEARS. EVEN MET HIM ONCE. AHHHHH-MAZING BRAND GURU...oh, crazy funny too 😆

Wow ... never knew Nathen Mazri was also mentioned underground...My god this guy has effect on people from Hollywood executives to lunatics and idiots hiding away. Loooooooove this guy ... I mean you gotta give it to him ... first father money is BS. Father gave him experience and Pascal is his cofounding investor. Its in every article and i watched them together and its in the Incorporation files. Yup i know.�

Pascal is Austrian not arab. Nathen is half quebecois ... racist much 🙄😒 who gives a gently caress... love em both... both hot too. Pascal looks like Armie Hammer. 😉

Screenshot from his IG stories. Follow and love

NATHEN started a brand new concept helping Hollywood licensing managers get a foot in the food industry in a big way and bringing Garfield back after more than 12 years. Nathen started �an amazing restaurant but i admit he had a bad location and evil landlord as i read from his IG stories and Narcity and his Indian operations manager who flew to India and cared less about service and consistency when Nathen did... he's OCD afterall...he had bad people around him. But he did close because He decided to close and go retail. Better! He showed us his statements on his stories... paid and never overdue like BLOGTO liars... never trusted them for even my brunch. Hahaha�

He always said death to QSR and brick and mortars not only due to Covid19 but years ago on Entrepreneur magazine. Read it on Communicate Magazine also. He takes risks. He is sooo wise. BlogTO lousy reporter Amy �Loves bashing new restaurants with no 2nd chance which gives her highest readership unless they pay $3000 plus for advertising ... I worked in PR in the food industry all my life. I read his amazing article Google Reviews destroy young entrepreneurship where GE resto goes up to 4.5 then down to 3 because of rats and haters who gave 1 star and wrote it should be bugs bunny eats. Jeeez. Not relevant at all. This guy had pressure and death threats in postcards from USA (he showed us on IG) but he still kept going and sold sold sold and landedfranchisees �in London in 6 months(naturally it takes 6 stores to land 1 franchisee). I even saw his manuals at his restaurant (sooo detailed) and i went there to london ... lovely family 👪 but COVID really hurt everyone. Same amazing taste. But Now i can actually get my lasagna from nearest grocery for pickup not having to drive miles away...

�Retail and grocery store and grocery app like Instacart... that's the future. Closing was a great business decision for success because he knew how to save the brand and bring revenue from drop shipping quickly on https://www.garfieldeats.com

I followed this guy for 3 years and booked him on Cameo. I love this guy. He is honest cares about farm2plate with no funny business ingredients like gelatin gum and preservatives and poo poo in our food. Farmers love him in Ontario especially in Orangeville. He cares and has a huge heart. His food is delicious . I have it on my couch his GarfieldEATS lasagna and netflix ...omg 😋 addictive. Easy to put in oven and its all fresh natural ... 30mins my dinner is ready. 🤪🤪🤪🤪�

Strange Aeons always has been a BITCH to men especially Nathen who gave her tons of gifts to her parent's mansion in Mississauga for her tricky order for her videos with his own driver (he posted about it) but she is soo dumb she cant even bake hahahha 😂 unappreciative and lives on evil attacks... saw most of her videos.�

Craving attention from Nathen but he never lowers himself and I think because he never replied to her attacks. He is tooo noble. He works with Emmy award directors, he wont lower himself to that. Some will hate and some will love. Its fineeeeeeee.�

Want a real review by a foodie... watch Ken Domik GarfieldEATS on youtube�

Scooby-Doo EATS even better. Smoky hotdogs. Omg yummmm ... also back of box no ingredients because nothing added or tampered with... get your facts straight... jealousy is fatal. Say truth or die now. Hahaha�

One thing i can say is I LOVE HIS IG STORIES. MOST ENTERGAGING EVER. Once he appears its a must seeekeepi swear hahah anyeays keep digging, you'll find nothing just risks and businesses and more to come... he is young. until now no failures and if you think they are, you aren't an entrepreneur just living in mama's basement ... any business book or even Elon Musk will tell you...you must fail to succeed. But none for him. GarfieldEATS still alive and lasagnas and merch deliveries still on

Scooby is Disruptive to the Frozen aisle. Coolest packaging for angus burgers. I even met his farmers BTW at his launch. I DMd him and told him ill be there. He had security 1 big man. You feel safe and secure around Nathen though... positive and loving... I wish I loved what I did... fukin hate my job... i did apply though to his company and waiting actually. Ill be mad if he didnt reply though like Strange Aeons ... fuk ... im becoming like the witch. He has an effect to crave for his attention hahah i guess that's why fans say poo poo and he says Hi... people become nice like Odies haha ... nathen shows us screenshots of his DMs that he gets also. He does Like... he may reply . He has a TXT number too on his IG

Cant wait for his 2nd episode love me feed me dont leave me reality show.... OMG funny crazy better than Below the Deck hahahah 😂

# ? Jul 10, 2021 19:24

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Somehow "I even saw his manuals at his restaurant (sooo detailed)" stuck out as being the most unjustifiably insane effort at sounding like a different person. Almost any other specific sentence in there could technically be an exaggerated thought a person might have about someone (s)he loved, but no. Manual detail is a bridge too far

Also anyone who disparages Strange Aeons should be arrested

# ? Jul 10, 2021 19:44

Space Jam: Jul 22, 2008

you can tell people pointing out his dad gave him a poo poo load of money doesn�t bother him, just look at this authentic fan comment about it

# ? Jul 10, 2021 19:46

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

hahahah 😂

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:19

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

Can anybody find an example of any other human being, anywhere in the world, seriously pushing the concept of �entergagement?�

Also, has GPT-3 been exposed to Mazri content? And is there any way to forcibly overload the OpenAI models with it? Entergaged minds want to know.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:37

crazy eyes mustafa: Nov 30, 2014

Obviously just Nathen himself posted:

Strange Aeons always has been a BITCH to men especially Nathen who gave her tons of gifts to her parent's mansion in Mississauga for her tricky order for her videos with his own driver (he posted about it) but she is soo dumb she cant even bake hahahha 😂 unappreciative and lives on evil attacks... saw most of her videos.

Craving attention from Nathen but he never lowers himself and I think because he never replied to her attacks. He is tooo noble. He works with Emmy award directors, he wont lower himself to that. Some will hate and some will love. Its fineeeeeeee.

[...]

Scooby-Doo EATS even better. Smoky hotdogs. Omg yummmm ... also back of box no ingredients because nothing added or tampered with... get your facts straight... jealousy is fatal. Say truth or die now. Hahaha

wtf

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:48

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

He really has a distinct posting style doesn't he

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:51

Long-Time Lurker: May 20, 2021; readin'-but-not-postin'-jones

I, too, wanna feel safe and secure around Nathen and his 1 big man.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:53

Elephant Ambush: Nov 13, 2012; ...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?; Nap Ghost

sharknado slashfic posted:

He really has a distinct posting style doesn't he

The funniest part is that he's clearly trying to sound like distinct people in those posts but at some point it just falls apart because he's not really capable of that.

# ? Jul 10, 2021 23:54

Partycat: Oct 25, 2004

5/5 There was a great big pop , and a burst of Garf flowed into my mouth . Nathen makes the best hot dogs I�ve ever engaged with

# ? Jul 11, 2021 01:51

Agent Escalus: Oct 5, 2002; "I couldn't stop saying aloud how miscast Jim Carrey was!"

I figured his hot dogs wouldn't cut the mustard

# ? Jul 11, 2021 04:43

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

This seems relevant.

https://twitter.com/frailgesture/status/1413633560636891136

# ? Jul 11, 2021 05:44

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lieutenant Dan posted:

I'm not sure what encountering Nathen on like, Grindr would be like. Does he mention Garf and/or Scoob in his profile? Do you think he'd try to upsell me a scoobert burger before all the weiner business?

He absolutely plugs the "World's Youngest _____ Licensee" on there.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 08:02

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Dr. Quarex posted:

Also anyone who disparages Strange Aeons should be arrested

I don't think that bizarre Nighthawks photoshop is meant to be disparaging, is the thing. It was his big send-off when GarfieldEats finally closed its doors.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 08:38

Turpitude II: Nov 10, 2014

naughty joystick posted:

The mentioning of Reddit made me curious if some recent post set him off, but the only one with any significant activity was the one posted in r/Toronto almost 7 months ago. Then if you sort by newest comment you get this lovely gem from 45 days ago:

quote:

Pascal is Austrian not arab. Nathen is half quebecois ... racist much 🙄😒 who gives a gently caress... love em both... both hot too. Pascal looks like Armie Hammer. 😉

if i were nathan and i wanted people to have a positive opinion of my business partner, i would simply not compare him to a violent rapist with a cannibal fetish. guess that's why i'm not the youngest garfield licensee.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 08:40

wynott dunn: Aug 9, 2006; What is to be done?

Who or what can challenge, and stand a chance at beating, the corporate juggernauts dominating the world?

Turpitude II posted:

if i were nathan and i wanted people to have a positive opinion of my business partner, i would simply not compare him to a violent rapist with a cannibal fetish. guess that's why i'm not the youngest garfield licensee.

sheesh, rookies need to get on his level of meat eating

nathan mazri hahahah