UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

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Do you prefer the extended summer thread format? This poll is closed.
Yes	126	44.21%
No	39	13.68%
I'm Scottish	120	42.11%
Total:	285 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

SCP-1966 "Perpetual Football"

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:01

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# ? May 25, 2024 20:45

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Angepain posted:

The tories gain five points in the polls.

If England wins, Boris calls for a snap election tomorrow, carries the euro cup to every public meeting never letting go of it, and gets 95% of the vote.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:04

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

loving hell, they have aerial cameras following the loving coach on Sky News atm

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:06

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

OwlFancier posted:

SCP-1966 "Perpetual Football"

As with all good things in this world, Jon Bois has created something about this concept too, 17776. Which is loving phenomenal.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:07

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

goddamnedtwisto posted:

https://twitter.com/AyoCaesar/status/1414258384279330823

Replace the statue of Churchill with one of this true hero of the English people.

Or maybe just the bloke himself, doing it on the hour.

what is happening here

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:08

Brendan Rodgers: Jun 11, 2014

Angepain posted:

my prediction: we reach 90 minutes in and nobody scores. Then they try for extra time, and nobody scores. Thirty consecutive free kicks later and nobody scores. The entirety of one team stands on the other edge of the pitch as the other all push the football into the goal. It doesn't go in. None of them can do anything to get the football to go in. They try to concede the match, but their mouths can't form the words. They can't do anything. The fans try to leave, and find all the doors are locked. When they jump out the windows they come back in on the other side. The government is urged into action but Boris Johnson declares that since the place this football is immovably stuck in by forces unknown is in London then it technically means football has, in fact, come home, and so everything is fine actually. The tories gain five points in the polls.

Isn't that the SCP about the basketball match and the fans end up forming tribes and cannibalising each other?

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:09

Gorn Myson: Aug 8, 2007

forkboy84 posted:

As a Scot I think the only position here is to support Italy because Scottish television isn't delivered by the people who also deliver Italian TV but apparently forget that, & I absolutely have never told anyone I am above this farce. I'm so far from being above it. And also because if Italy win I don't have to hear that godforsaken song for...sigh, less than 18 months

And for the avoidance of doubt, yes, it is absolutely a matter of spite.

That song is never going away. We're cursed to deal with it until the end of time. The only solution is to come up with something better. I think the FA should hire Simon Cowell to produce a patriotic England football song with some of Britain's best loved celebrities. I'm thinking James Corden, Rylan, Amanda Holden, Jack Whitehall, Piers Morgan and Miranda Hart.

Something that would make the world really envious of the type of culture that England is producing, you know? I'd get Boris in the video too, waving a flag around with Carrie.

(for what its worth, I understand the spite that the Scotch have, I'm just loving sick of hearing it from English progressives, because if they don't care thats absolutely fine, I'm just fed up of hearing them tell me how little they care)

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:10

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

If England wins then they won�t be able to sing Football�s Coming Home because it�ll have come home already.

On balance I�d like England to win. The team
and manager seem decent and the country will be overall happier. But I don�t care that much. I probably won�t watch.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:10

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

Oh well we tried and the lads took us further than we�ve been in decades. Good practice for the World Cup.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:10

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

crispix posted:

what is happening here

the big lad is bumping keys to widespread acclaim

e: or maybe he's eating a scoop of ice cream from one of those tiny tubs you get at the cinema

kecske fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Jul 11, 2021

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:11

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

keep punching joe posted:

https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1414217270855938049

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:13

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Brendan Rodgers posted:

Isn't that the SCP about the basketball match and the fans end up forming tribes and cannibalising each other?

Thats a good one, but its a video tape of a bb match if iirc

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:13

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

crispix posted:

what is happening here

bums and willys

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:14

domhal: Dec 30, 2008; 0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin. All he has managed to do is make himself *sad*. It has, however, made him into a very, very smart boy with something like a university degree in Truth. Instead of building Communism, he now builds a precise model of this grotesque, duplicitous world.

Imagine thinking football hasn't come home yet despite all your games being at Wembley.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:17

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Gyro Zeppeli posted:

As with all good things in this world, Jon Bois has created something about this concept too, 17776. Which is loving phenomenal.

I have read that and it is pretty good yeah.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:18

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

happyhippy posted:

Thats a good one, but its a video tape of a bb match if iirc

If I remember right it's a video of a match and the people in it relive the events with memory every time it is played.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:20

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

I must admit it would incredibly funny if after all this build-up England got a 2014 World Cup Final style hammering and lost by something ridiculous like 9-0

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:21

Gorn Myson: Aug 8, 2007

ThomasPaine posted:

I must admit it would incredibly funny if after all this build-up England got a 2014 World Cup Final style hammering and lost by something ridiculous like 9-0

See I was thinking Italy going 1-0 up within like the first three minutes and then parking the bus so well that England can't get through the midfield would be the funniest outcome. Like they have 80% possession and the only shot on goal is the goal itself.

Just an utterly tedious anti-climax that no one remembers except Italy and ecven they're a bit like eh.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:26

josh04: Oct 19, 2008; "THE FLASH IS THE REASON
TO RACE TO THE THEATRES"
_{This title contains sponsored content.}

I'm quite fond of 'Three Lions' being the totem of English football ambition, because the saccarine original brings with it the existence of 'Three Lions 98' which is a song of true desperation. It even references a 0-0 draw with Italy!

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:27

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

ThomasPaine posted:

I must admit it would incredibly funny if after all this build-up England got a 2014 World Cup Final style hammering and lost by something ridiculous like 9-0

the final was a really tense 1-0 with germany scoring in the second half of extra time

it was the brazil v germany semi where there were four goals in the time it took to get the mid-first-half rounds in, and every newspaper in brazil had an absolutely normal one in response

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:28

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

ThomasPaine posted:

I must admit it would incredibly funny if after all this build-up England got a 2014 World Cup Final style hammering and lost by something ridiculous like 9-0

Unfortunately it's coming home but id also enjoy seeing this

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:28

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

ThomasPaine posted:

I must admit it would incredibly funny if after all this build-up England got a 2014 World Cup Final style hammering and lost by something ridiculous like 9-0

There are so many hilarious possible outcomes but I think the funniest, by far, would be if the queen dies just before the winning goal and every single channel has to cut away from the football and the entire country then enters a collective, months-long dissonance between sad-patriotism and happy-patriotism

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:29

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

Penalties will murder my dad.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:29

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Spangly A posted:

the final was a really tense 1-0 with germany scoring in the second half of extra time

it was the brazil v germany semi where there were four goals in the time it took to get the mid-first-half rounds in, and every newspaper in brazil had an absolutely normal one in response

Ahhh yes, I forget it was the semi, still one of the funniest things I've ever seen

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:30

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

they would totally keep quiet about it for a few days if majesty are boys queen died

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:31

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

There are so many hilarious possible outcomes but I think the funniest, by far, would be if the queen dies just before the winning goal and every single channel has to cut away from the football and the entire country then enters a collective, months-long dissonance between sad-patriotism and happy-patriotism

This would be good too, the news not even being able to report on the result as it goes wall to wall Planned Royal Coverage

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:31

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

https://twitter.com/Urban_Pictures/status/1414241047883001856

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:31

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

they would just say she had a cold or had hosed off to margate for a mini break she won from take a break magazine or that

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:32

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Spangly A posted:

the final was a really tense 1-0 with germany scoring in the second half of extra time

it was the brazil v germany semi where there were four goals in the time it took to get the mid-first-half rounds in, and every newspaper in brazil had an absolutely normal one in response

I was watching BRA-DEU at a bar in Heidelberg, and lol'ing at the absolute state of Brazil until I was shushed by my table of German colleagues because they had scored too many goals and didn't want to look like bad winners (?). WW2 really did a number on their collective psychology

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:38

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

fuctifino posted:

https://twitter.com/Urban_Pictures/status/1414241047883001856

Fun to see this happen to one of their own cities instead of Rome or Glasgow or Athens or Kiev or Warsaw or Vienna or Paris etc

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:50

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Failed Imagineer posted:

I was watching BRA-DEU at a bar in Heidelberg, and lol'ing at the absolute state of Brazil until I was shushed by my table of German colleagues because they had scored too many goals and didn't want to look like bad winners (?). WW2 really did a number on their collective psychology

nationalism without gloating is a pretty normal thing for a country that isn't an absolute state, I'm pretty sure more people than just Orwell have done bits about how the english only make war songs about massive defeats like Waterloo or Light Brigade, and competent retreats like Dunkirk. You only sing about the overwhelming victories of powerful nation states when you've lost to them yourself (like Come Out ye Black and Tans).

I'm sure someone itt will know if "two world wars and one world cup" was a thing before thatcher

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:54

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

There are so many hilarious possible outcomes but I think the funniest, by far, would be if the queen dies just before the winning goal and every single channel has to cut away from the football and the entire country then enters a collective, months-long dissonance between sad-patriotism and happy-patriotism

This is the funniest possibility that I would never have even considered.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:55

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

https://twitter.com/psmithXI/status/1414263282895106052

https://twitter.com/MichelleOwen7/status/1414268353296965637

Comedy option: The match gets postponed due to gatecrashers.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:57

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

If the marxism squad can give the queen a heart attack out of shame that might make me like football.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 18:58

Noxville: Dec 7, 2003

https://twitter.com/misy_utd/status/1414264123974725640?s=21

# ? Jul 11, 2021 19:01

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

You can but only after you have run out of fireworks.

# ? Jul 11, 2021 19:03

Deketh: Feb 26, 2006; That's a nice fucking fish

Gonna watch a football on the telly and be very glad that I'm not in London

# ? Jul 11, 2021 19:04

Spangly A: May 14, 2009; God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Noxville posted:

https://twitter.com/misy_utd/status/1414264123974725640?s=21

I'd be delighted if everyone expressed their nationalism by smashing the poo poo out of rich people's toys instead of local restaurants

# ? Jul 11, 2021 19:05

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

https://twitter.com/PaulBrown_UK/status/1414271860070653952

https://twitter.com/DominicKing_DM/status/1414272439182405632

https://twitter.com/antoguerrera/status/1414275420967612421

fuctifino fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Jul 11, 2021

# ? Jul 11, 2021 19:10

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# ? May 25, 2024 20:45

Wistful of Dollars: Aug 25, 2009

https://twitter.com/louisa_compton/status/1414269777326088198?s=19

Lol

# ? Jul 11, 2021 19:13

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

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