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Jim traps Dwight in the body of a crippled, feeble old man. “Jim” is old age.
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Jul 19, 2021 17:34
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Jim removes the concept of “yellow” from Dwight’s mind. When he asks Dwight to highlight his achievements on a page, Dwight doesn’t understand what he means. Jim gives Dwight a lemon, who misidentifies it as an orange and takes a big bite, before flinching at its sourness. On the way home, not understanding the traffic signals, Dwight runs a red light and is killed by a trash truck. Jim smirks at the camera, his entire face painted yellow. 
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Jul 19, 2021 18:40
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Jim learns how to use CAD software and designs a urinal that redirects the majority of piss back at the user in the form of splashback. He then contacts a machine shop and gets them to fab his new urinal, which he then installs in the bathroom with a new sign that says "new and improved low flow urinal." When Dwight uses it, it sprays pee back at him and all over his clothes.
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Jul 19, 2021 18:42
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After a disastrous gender reveal party, Jim is trapped in a wheelchair, most likely for life. To continue his day-to-day tasks, Jim is given a helper monkey, which he names Friendly. Jim and Friendly return to the office and things slowly return to normal. One day, Dwight heads to the bathroom and Jim asks if Dwight can take Friendly, explaining that Friendly can change his diaper but can't operate doors. Dwight cautiously agrees to this. When Dwight finishes urinating he finds Friendly starting at him, unmoving. It unnerves Dwight but he quickly washes his hands and leaves the restroom. Throughout the rest of the day Dwight will occasionally look up and find Friendly starting at him, unmoving, but occasionally breathing very heavily. Dwight leaves work early that day to avoid an awkward encounter with Jim. The next day Jim shows up to work with Friendly, who now has a keyboard that lets him communicate simple phrases. When Dwight asks how Jim can afford this, he explains that he got "the good insurance" assuming that something like this was bound to happen eventually. The day runs smoothly, occasionally punctuated by Friendly's computer speaking a phrase like "JIM NEED BATHROOM" or "JIM PAIN MEDICINE NOW". Dwight is typing away when he swears he hears "DWIGHT PAIN SOON". When he asks if Jim heard that, Jim says he has no idea what he's talking about. Dwight then asks Pam, who just smiles vacantly. Shortly after this, Dwight again thinks he hears Friendly's computer, this time saying "DWIGHT PENIS PAIN". Jim dismisses this, showing that simple keyboard doesn't even have a button for "DWIGHT" or "PENIS". Content with this, Dwight puts his headphones in and finishes the day. That night, Dwight heads home and considers updating his resume. He heads into the bathroom to relax for a moment. However, this moment of peace is instantly broken as Friendly bursts forth from the toilet bowl and leaps at Dwight's crotch. Friendly begins biting and scratching at Dwight's genitals. Dwight tosses Friendly aside and slams the bathroom door shut, trapping Friendly in there. As he rushes into the living room to grab his phone and dial 911, he finds Jim in there in his wheelchair. Dwight asks what's going on, and Jim dramatically stands up from his chair. Dwight is shocked as Jim begins to do a demented dance. "Dwight, don't you just loooove stretching your legs? I know I do!" Dwight begs Jim to explain what's going on, and Jim just starts laughing, saying that he's lied about a lot of things lately. Most of all, he lied about Friendly's ability to open doors. Dwight hears the bathroom door open and the patter of monkey feet as they head towards the living room, ready to attack Dwight again. Jim opens his mouth and, without moving his lips, begins to talk. His voice is the computer voice Dwight heard before, and all he says is "DWIGHT PENIS PAIN NOW" over and over. Jim mugs for the camera as Friendly leaps towards Dwight.
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Jul 19, 2021 18:43
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Jim breaks into Dwight's car and changes the units to metric. Dwight turns up the heater to 75 and passes out, wrapping his car around a utility pole.
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Jul 19, 2021 18:51
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jim clocks dwight on the back of the head with a lead pipe, and, while dwight is semi-concious and concussed, forces an entire chopstick up his urethra
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Jul 19, 2021 18:54
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Jim sneaks up behind Dwight and blasts an air horn into his ear, giving Dwight permanent hearing loss.
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Jul 19, 2021 18:54
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Jim walks out of the building a second before Dwight and just lets the door swing back without holding it, lightly smacking into Dwight’s shoulder.
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Jul 19, 2021 18:56
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Jim replaces all of Dwight's normal string with silly string
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Jul 19, 2021 18:58
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Jim replaces all of Dwight's tendons with silly string
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Jul 19, 2021 19:00
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poisonpill posted:Jim replaces all of Dwight's tendons with silly string "Actually that one's kind of impressive, not gonna lie" says Dwight as he crumples to the ground like a wet towel and flops around like a fish
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Jul 19, 2021 19:03
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Jim reveals himself to be Dwight's half-brother, as Jim's father had an affair with Dwight's mother. Jim discovered this when his father passed away, and felt that he needed to share this info with Dwight. He then reveals that he's dying unless he gets a kidney transplant, and that he hopes Dwight might consider this. Dwight agrees, at which point Jim stabs him in the eye with a scalpel and starts cackling. Jim then says that he was "born from the soil" and that he has no parents while mugging for the camera.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:07
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Jim installs a wireless dongle for his mouse in the back of Dwight's computer. Later that day when Dwight is sharing his screen during a sales presentation, Jim jiggles the mouse when Dwight tries to click on a link. Dwight accidently clicks the link BELOW the one he wanted. GOD loving drat IT gently caress poo poo SON OF A BITCH" screams Dwight at the top of his lungs. His clients are horrified, and the office gets so quiet you can hear a pin drop. Dwight loses the account, and that afternoon is seen carrying his belongings to his car in a brown cardboard box.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:16
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Jim kidnaps Dwight and sells him to a traveling circus. He is kept in a cage, and Jim tells Dwight that he is now a trained seal, and that Jim is the ringmaster. Dwight may not like it, but he has an ingrained subservient loyalty to hierarchy, so he spends the rest of his life clapping and honking for raw fish.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:26
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Tiberius Christ posted:jim gets dwight to scream the n word at stanley Oh, this would be GLORIOUS! I've always been a fan of the direct physical a use that Jim does to Dwight, like when he slaps him in the face, or when he's driving and brakes really hard which caused Dwight to hit his head because he's sitting in the backseat unbuckled. Also when Jim stole Dwight's desk along with 2 other ones and called it 'Quad-Desk'
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Jul 19, 2021 19:31
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Jim convinces Dwight his (Dwight's) legs are missing (think a "who's got your nose" type situation) and tricks Dwight into exchanging his voice to get his legs back. In this episode, Jim sings.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:33
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Jim uses the informal "du" instead of the formal "Sie" to address Dwight, thereby disrespecting him.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:43
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Jim, bored at his job, logs into the somethingawful forums from his phone because his work computer blocks the website under the category "weapons." After browsing the coupon forums out of habit, he clicks on the "general bullshit" forum and is surprised to see a thread with both his and his co-workers name in the title. Reading through a few pages, Jim gets a gleam in his eye, as he decides then and there to do every single prank listed. One prank per day for the next seven and a half years. He starts by killing Dwight.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:46
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Mozi posted:Dwight wakes up one morning to the shock that he is blind. Unable to get through life on his own, he relies more and more on the help of his constant friend Jim, whether it is cooking, driving, or even cleaning himself. After twenty years, Jim suffers a fatal heart attack leaving Dwight terrified and alone, and after a couple of weeks he is found dead on his floor from starvation. During the autopsy, the coroner notes that Dwight's eyes have been taped shut with two pieces of scotch tape.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:53
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Dwight has grown exhausted after years of pranking and, in a final desperate bid, decides to ask Jim why he pranks him. Jim says that he pranks because he was "taught that it's fun" and he likes fun. Dwight asks if Jim could stop pranking if he found something else fun to do, and Jim agrees to this. Dwight then gets Jim interested in baking, which he loves. Jim's enthusiasm for pranking is now fully redirected towards baking, and he eventually opens his own bakery, which includes a section where Dwight sells beet-based baked goods. Miles away, in a long-forgotten bunker, a control panel lights up and a red light flashes under the words "SUBJECT J". Jim and Dwight have now become great friends, but Dwight is always concerned at Jim's explanation that he was "taught" to enjoy pranks. One night, Dwight is cleaning up the bakery and a masked figure comes up behind him and gives him a wedgie. An atomic one, at that. The figure then runs off into the night, laughing all the way. Jim hears the commotion and rushes out to find Dwight irritated and confused, trying to adjust his underwear. Jim starts laughing, then quickly catches himself. HE then starts laughing again, then violently bites down on his hand to stop from laughing. Dwight tells Jim it's fine, it's just a stupid prank, and Jim starts laughing even harder, so hard his eyes start watering. Jim then vomits up a pile of slimy goo which starts squirming. "Oh no, Dwight I'm sorry." Jim says before he passes out. The goo slowly forms into an exact copy of Jim. The nude, slimy Jim looks at Dwight. "Hey Dwight, what's that on your shirt?" he says as he points at Dwight's stomach. When Dwight looks down, the new Jim flicks his nose. A confused Dwight is then easily hit by a purple nurple and, in quick succession, a noogie and another wedgie. Dwight has never been up against pranking power at this level. Jim wakes up at this point and tells Dwight to run, saying that this new Jim is made of "Pure Prank Energy". Dwight runs as fast as he can as the New Jim smiles smugly at Jim.
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Jul 19, 2021 20:14
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Jim shows up to work with the chicken pox and touches all of Dwight's things. Dwight, who has never been vaccinated because it's "unnecessary" thanks to his "superior genes" and who also has never contracted chicken pox as a child, becomes severely, life-threateningly ill.
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Jul 20, 2021 00:40
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Applewhite posted:Jim shows up to work with the chicken pox and touches all of Dwight's things. Dwight, who has never been vaccinated because it's "unnecessary" thanks to his "superior genes" and who also has never contracted chicken pox as a child, becomes severely, life-threateningly ill. *cue The Office opening shingle*
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Jul 20, 2021 00:47
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Toby tells Jim that he should consider the emotional toll of his constant pranks and “walk a mile in Dwight’s shoes.” The next day Jim shows up wearing clown shoes. He smirks at Toby and Toby makes a weary expression. Meredith trips over one of Jim’s shoes and has to be taken to the hospital.
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Jul 20, 2021 05:26
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jim successfully persuades dwight that he, dwight, is in fact the missing person Madeleine McCann, who vanished from a portugese hotel room in May 2007. the resulting media storm is intensely uncomfortable for all involved
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Jul 20, 2021 11:29
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Jim gains a massive amount of weight and asks Dwight to help him lose it. Dwight agrees, putting Jim on a strict (but enjoyable) diet and exercise plan. After a month of this, Jim has ballooned in weight, causing a skeptical Dwight to ask if Jim is following the plan that's been laid out for him. Jim laughs and says of course he isn't, then pulls out a bacon wrapped hamburger from under his armpit and eats it. He finishes this by drinking what Dwight assumes is a milkshake, but is actually just pure lard. Jim says that Dwight just wasted a ton of time on him for no good reason. Pam gets up and runs out the door, crying, while Jim mugs for the camera. He has to stop at one point to catch his breath, then continues.
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Jul 20, 2021 12:22
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Jim becomes a multi billionaire. Dwight, who suffers from a host of physical and social maladies as a result of being poor, is optimistic that his old friend will help him in these dark times. Jim is moved by Dwight’s plight and tells him not to worry because he has a plan that will “fix everything.” Jim leaps into action and buys a spaceship. While enjoying zero gee on the edge of space, Jim says into the camera “poverty isn’t very cash money.” Jim smirks, another problem solved thanks to trickle down economics.
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Jul 20, 2021 12:24
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Dwight's appointment with his psychiatrist is almost over, and they've both very happy with his progress. After almost a year of intense therapy, Dwight has finally acknowledged that Jim Halpert does not exist, and was a coping mechanism he created to deal with the stresses of his life. All of Jim's "pranks" were just Dwight's way of trying to put order to a chaotic world, by imaging one person being behind all of the bad things. Jim does not exist, nobody that evil and insane could exist, and Dwight is a good person who just struggled a bit to handle the stresses of modern life. Dwight thanks his doctor and heads out to the lobby to make an appointment. Unfortunately, it looks like his appointment must have run long, as the lights are out and nobody's there. Dwight is about to leave when he realizes he left his coat in the psychiatrist's office, so he heads back there. Now the hallway is dark, too. Dwight realizes his appointment must have run very late, he and the doc must be the only people left in here. Dwight knocks on the door but nobody responds, so Dwight cautiously opens the door and says he just forgot his coat. He steps in and finds the room empty. Weird, he thinks, I was just in here a minute ago. Nevertheless, he grabs his jacket and prepares to head out. As he turns, he sees the psychiatrist's clothes are all laying in a pile on the floor, along with something flesh-colored and rubbery on top. Dwight nervously reaches towards the pile and grabs the object on top, discovering it to be a mask. A mask that looks exactly like his psychiatrist's face. He lets out an involuntary moan of terror as, suddenly, he hears a wet footstep behind him. "Dwwwwiiiiiiiight. Dwwiiiiiggggggghtttt." Dwight turns around and sees a nude Jim slowly creeping towards him with a smug look on his face. Dwight starts to scream in horror. "Funny prrrrrank. Ssssssoooo funny!" says Jim as he advances on Dwight for the final time.
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Jul 20, 2021 14:13
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Jim goes up to the roof and pees on Dwight from above. Kevin thinks this means everyone is peeing on stuff to claim it. Angela files 54 separate complaints with HR before getting mad at Dwight for not peeing on her and "claiming" her. ANGELA: The Senator would have peed on me! *Oscar Jim-mugs the camera*
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Jul 20, 2021 14:24
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While experimenting with beets, Dwight creates a new beet-based lightbulb that can work for hundreds of thousands of hours without any electricity needed. Dwight shows it off at the office, lighting up the entire office. The possibilities, he explains, are endless. This could eventually lead to free energy, instead focusing on a beet-based power grid. Jim is enraged by the attention Dwight is getting and begins calling every power company, telling them about Dwight's invention. Several representatives of the oil industry show up to Schrute Farms that night and offer Dwight millions of dollars to hand over the beet-bulb and stop any research in the field. Dwight disagrees, saying that he's doing this for the planet, not for the money. In a desperate attempt to persuade him, the oil executives get Senator Ted Cruz to approach Dwight, thinking that he's "kind of a nerd guy". However, Dwight is naturally repulsed by Ted Cruz and banishes him from Schrute Farms. Ted Cruz attempts a final disturbing "The Simpsons" impersonation before Dwight tosses a heavy boot at his head. Mose then chases the disgraced Senator off the property. The oil executives finally decide on a desperate plan and hire an assassin to kill Dwight, destroy any evidence of the beet bulb, and burn down Schrute Farms. Dwight, after more than a decade of being pranked, has attained a natural level of paranoia that allows him to instantly detect the assassin. His karate skills also come into play and he disarms the man with ease. However, the man removes his mask and reveals himself to be Jim. When Dwight asks Jim why he hates him so much, Jim shrugs and says "I dunno, it's funny I guess." and then detonates a bomb embedded at the base of his neck. Dwight, Schrute Farms, the beet bulbs, and Jim are all wiped from existence. Months later, Angela is finally emotionally ready to look through a box of things that Dwight left for her. Inside the box is a beet bulb, the plans to make more, and a letter. She reads the letter, in which Dwight admits he always expected this might happen. Although his death was probably unsolved, he knows that Jim would be the killer. He finishes the letter by telling Angela where to take the beet bulb to ensure it goes into mass production, then tells her he will love her forever. As Angela closes the box she hears a knock on front door. She opens it and Jim's headless corpse is standing there. It waves, smugly, at the camera.
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Jul 20, 2021 15:33
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jim frames dwight for a crime he did not commit - the crime of the sky
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Jul 20, 2021 15:44
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Dwight puts in his two-week notice but doesn't tell anyone where he's going, saying that he wants to keep this private for now. Jim spends every moment of the next two weeks asking Dwight where he's going, growing increasingly angry and eventually threatening to jump off the roof unless Dwight tells him. For the first time in his career at Dunder Mifflin, Dwight smiles smugly at the camera. "Okay, Jim. I'm working at the Ligma Corporation." "Ligma?" "Ligma Balls, Jim. Ligma Balls." Dwight mugs for the camera as a dazed Jim, unsure of what's happening, starts to stumble around the office. Jim crashes into the printer and starts dry heaving, then stands back up with blood pouring down his face. Dwight tries to help him, but Jim tosses him aside and then falls over again, all while muttering "Is this what it feels like?" again and again. Dwight opens up the emergency first aid kit but it's filled with grapes for some reason, and they tumble out all over the floor. Dwight rushes back and tells Jim to just hold on until the ambulance gets there, but Jim looks as if he just has moments to live. He blindly looks around, then places one shaking hand on Dwight's face. "Always remember, YOU did this to me. YOU killed me." Jim then passes away violently, his body going into convulsions as he vomits again and again. Disturbed by this, Dwight is unable to focus at his new job (selling paper for a slightly larger paper company) and is eventually let go. Unwilling to return to Dunder Mifflin, Dwight instead goes back to his job at Staples. He quickly rises to the rank of Regional Manager based on his amazing salesmanship and interpersonal skills. However, Dwight is never able to truly enjoy it as he considers himself culpable for Jim's death. Dwight never marries or has children and lives a happy but ultimately lonely life. On his death bed, the priest is reading his last rites when Dwight notices that his beard seems fake. "Father, I hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you wear a fake beard?" The priest pulls off the beard with a flourish, then follows by removing several pieces of prosthetics that have been applied to his face. It's Jim. Jim as he was decades ago. Jim when he supposedly died. "Because I'm Jim, fucko! And these aren't last rites, this is a spell to trap your soul inside a jar forever! Later, skater!" Jim pulls a skateboard out from seemingly nowhere and is ready to skate away, but Dwight grasps his wrist with the last bit of his strength. Dwight begs him to explain what happened, how he survived, and why he looks like this. Jim stares at him for a moment, unmoving, then begins to speak. "You'll never know, Dwight. Lick on that, you stupid rear end in a top hat." Jim mugs for the camera as Dwight passes away and his eternal soul floats into a tiny jar on a shelf. Jim puts the jar in his pocket and skates off while humming the theme song to "The Office".
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Jul 20, 2021 16:08
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Jim starts calling Dwight "balloon boy." Dwight is dismissive of Jim's latest "prank." Later that day, he receives a call asking to speak to "balloon boy." He tells the caller they have the wrong number Throughout the day he gets calls from different people asking for balloon boy and he reacts with increasing irritability and anger. He's about to lose it when he gets a call from a client he recognizes. He demands the client explain what's going on and the client, somewhat surprised, replies that Dwight's name and number are listed as "balloon boy" on the business card Dwight gave him. Dwight checks his business cards and discovers all his business cards say "balloon boy." He is also listed as balloon boy in the company registry and the phone book. Jim, struggling to hold back laughter, explains on break room cam that the prank was surprisingly inexpensive because the business card place was having a sale. The real difficulty was impersonating Dwight in county court when applying for the name change (which Dwight has yet to discover).
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Jul 20, 2021 16:56
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Jim shows up to work with a parrot on his shoulder that starts mimicking everyone. This backfires, however, when the parrot keeps saying "My wife will never find out!" and "Call me Papa Jim!" again and again. Pam demands to know what's going on, and Jim asks her to "wait until we get home" because she's "screwing up the prank". Pam and Jim get into a very vocal and very uncomfortable argument in the office, both describing each others failings as a partner. It escalates to the point that Pam calls Jim "an insane monster pretending to be human" and Jim says that he "Has more fun jerking it in the shower". Pam finally storms off in tears and Jim's parrot just keeps saying "Spank my rear end, baby" as a flustered Jim tries to stop Pam from leaving. Dwight squirms uncomfortably in his seat. Jim is kicked out of his house that night and mugs for the camera, explaining that he can't wait for Dwight to get even more uncomfortable when he hears about this tomorrow.
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Jul 20, 2021 17:11
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Jim finds out that his close friend Darryl's grandmother has passed away earlier that morning.. Always one for a good prank, Jim gets to Dwight first and says today is Darryl's birthday and he's really upset that no one remembers.
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Jul 20, 2021 17:20
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Dwight leads Angela and his two young children along an abandoned railroad track. They're desperate to find a new place to settle, somewhere that hasn't been overrun with those... things. All four of them are exhausted, dirty, and have calluses where the hiking gear and boots have bit into their flesh, relentlessly, for months now. Still, despite the desperate circumstances, Dwight feels hope. As they move towards the valley, the lights in the distances get more and more noticeable at night. It means people are there, real people! People who have somehow eeked out a real life in this forested wasteland, who have learned to deal with the creatures that appear whenever someone makes a sound. Finding a small brook eroding away the disused tracks, Dwight gives the hand signal to his family to stop and refill their canteens. He locks eyes with Angela, exchanging rapid hand gestures with her. She thinks the kids can walk another four hours. Gertrude's nebulizer is almost out. It's Otto's fifth birthday today, so she wants to use a precious canister of camp stove fuel to make beef ramen tonight. She loves him and believes they will be safe soon. Dwight wants to cry tears of joy for his wonderful, supportive Angela, but he dares not make a sound. He uses his finger to wipe a salty misting from his eyes. But by letting his guard down for even a second, disaster has been invited to their quiet bivouac. Little Otto, brave Otto, glad for a chance to stop and explore his surroundings, to play for even a minute instead of the endless, silent trudging he has known his whole life, misjudged his jump from one rail to another. He stumbles, and his metallic canteen, the one he insisted his Mom let him carry because he was old enough and responsible enough now, breaks his fall by hitting the corroded steel first. The CLANG is deafening for the Schrute family, who haven't known more than the rustling of grass and the soft, careful crunch of feet on gravel for months now. Dwight, his face betraying the panic rising up within him, stands straight as a rod, listening for it. Listening for anything. For agonizing seconds there is nothing to be heard. Even the birds, most long dead, are silent. The wind dares not rustle the leaves, and the pathetic stream of water trickles soundlessly into a ditch. But then, there it was. Faint, distant, barely above a whisper, but unmistakeable: "balloon boy" Dwight snaps his attention to his family, his hands flashing. Move. Now. Quiet Run. Stay off gravel. Don't look back. With the attention and practiced training of weary battle veterans, the family instantly complies. "black bear" "borrow a nickel" "quad desk" The voices are louder now, some talking over the others. Dwight sees shadows flit in the trees on both sides. He maintains his pace, hoping against hope they can make enough distance. The voices are louder now. "vance refrigeration" "magic beans" "so thirsty" It's useless to hide any longer. Dwight sees his family in front of him, moving as quickly and silently as they can, Angela struggling with the bags and a hyperventilating toddler. "RUN! JUST RUN!" Dwight screams, his voice surprisingly powerful despite its long dormancy. He turns the way he came, he lets out a mighty roar, and he sprints full out in the direction of the Jims. He doesn't look back. "THREE HOLE PUNCH JIM" "BOOKFACE" "KIND OF BLURRY" The hooting voices call out to each other, summoning others, converging on Dwight.
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Jul 20, 2021 17:38
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Jim and Dwight are on a joint sales meeting with the Pennsylvania Agricultural Association, and Dwight’s preparation is once again paying off big. He has accurately predicted their current and expected office supply usage, and worked out a very compelling bulk purchase program that would allow the client to predict and plan their costs for at least four years. The association rep seems ready to agree on the spot, until Jim, who may have been napping during the meeting, butts in. “Agriculture? Is that, like, farms and boring junk?” Dwight smoothly explains that there are many aspects to agriculture, which include farming yes, but also- “Oh, we’re talking to Mister Beet, I forgot!” Interjects Jim, rolling his eyes. The agricultural rep is actually interested. “You own a beet farm?” Dwight nods humbly, and starts to explain how his natural fertilizer can enrich the soil in a sustainable fashion, but Jim jumps in again. “Horses? Are there horses that can ride?” The man shakes his head, saying they don’t have any horses. Jim pouts and pulls out his phone. He texts something to Pam. When Dwight shakes hands and leaves the meeting, the world outside the building has been replaced with a topsy turvy hell world where horses and cows ride the backs of men, fields of screaming humans are planted growing from the soil, and reaped with savage threshers wielded by sentient beets. “Just like you said!” Jim says, with a rictus grin, “things can grow here! Everything grows!” Jim races off laughing and stripping his clothes into this new mad land, leaving Dwight struggle to sell paper alone in a world dominated by farm animals. As it turns out, pigs buy a decent amount of paper.
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Jul 20, 2021 17:47
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Jim replaces Dwight's dick with a paper mache version and next time Dwight goes to jack it it rips clean off
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Jul 20, 2021 17:52
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Dwight and Jim team up on a huge paper sale and, shockingly, it goes well. The customer loves Dwight's straightforward no-nonsense approach and finds Jim "funny but in the way a funeral for clowns would be", and adds that he's into "Weird humor". Bolstered by this success, Dwight and Jim continue to team up on a 6 week cross-country sales trip that nearly doubles Dunder Mifflin's annual sales. On the final day of the trip, Jim and Dwight share a hotel room and enjoy a few drinks from the mini-bar together. Dwight opens up, confessing that he's been on edge this entire time, thinking Jim was going to pull some kind of elaborate prank. Jim takes a swig from a tiny bottle of rum and laughs, saying that he's been having too much fun to even plan out a prank. And, he adds, he doesn't prank his friends. Dwight finishes a little bottle of vodka and smiles at Jim, content. Jim notices that they're out of booze and says he'll step down to the front counter for more. Dwight sits on the bed, feeling relaxed for the first time in a long time. Suddenly, the door is kicked open and 3 police officers, guns drawn, start yelling at Dwight to get on the ground. Dwight complies, but one of the officers calls him "smartass" and kicks him in the ribs. Dwight continues to comply and another cop asks where Dwight is "keeping the kids". Dwight has no idea what he's talking about and says so, but then feels the barrel of a gun poke into his ribs. A cop is screaming in his ear now, insulting him and asking him where the kids are. Dwight is crying and his heart is racing, and he says that the police must have the wrong room. The cop that kicked him in the ribs now kicks him in the teeth, saying that Dwight shouldn't tell him how to do his job. Suddenly, Jim shows back up with his kids. He very loudly says he "has those kids you ordered, Dwight" and then mugs for the camera. The police train their guns on Jim, and he drops to his knees. Jim and Dwight are both arrested and, during the trial, Jim says that Dwight and he spent the last 6 weeks kidnapping kids across the country. He says that Dwight was the mastermind, but he went along "Because it sounded interesting." Jim's children even testify against Dwight, telling the same story that Jim does. Jim and Dwight are both sentenced to 50 years in prison, despite the fact that Dwight did absolutely nothing. While getting lunch the first day in prison, Jim comes up to Dwight and says that he's so happy they get to spend this time together. Dwight asks why Jim would do this, and Jim says because they're friends now, and this is the best way to spend time together. Jim hugs Dwight and smiles for the prison camera. ALSO: I tried watching the Office when I got home from work and I can no longer do it without thinking of this thread.
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Jul 20, 2021 18:47
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We should have written for the office. This thread is a million times more interesting than “Andy buys a boat”
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Jul 20, 2021 19:08
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| # ? May 31, 2024 14:26 |
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Andy buys a boat, however he quickly discovers that the boat is Jim. "Gotcha, Andy!" says Boat-Jim as he wraps a length of rope around Andy's neck, ties the other end to an anchor, and tosses Andy into the ocean. The next day, Dwight is driving to work when he sees a beautiful boat for sale on the side of the road for $1. Thinking it's a good deal, he calls the number listed on the attached sign. A robotic voice tells him the boat is his, and Dwight spends the rest of the day excitedly planning a weekend on the lake. Jim also spends the day excitedly planning and smiles, boatly, at the camera.
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Jul 20, 2021 19:14
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