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I think we all know there are plenty of dorks out there who just do whatever antisocial poo poo they want and then blame it on anxiety, there's no sense pretending that's not who we're talking about or that they don't exist
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Jul 21, 2021 15:13
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hawowanlawow posted:I think we all know there are plenty of dorks out there who just do whatever antisocial poo poo they want and then blame it on anxiety, there's no sense pretending that's not who we're talking about or that they don't exist Can you give examples? Because I have never actually encountered this. Also I don't know who you are interacting with but you don't have to be friends with them/interact if you don't want to. Josef bugman has a new favorite as of 15:21 on Jul 21, 2021 |
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Jul 21, 2021 15:17
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Josef bugman posted:Can you give examples? my cousin Josef bugman posted:Can you give examples? Because I have never actually encountered this. Also I don't know who you are interacting with but you don't have to be friends with them/interact if you don't want to. I know I don't have to, and I don't. I'm just saying they exist. It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, that's just how people are sometimes. People will take advantage of anything. Saying so doesn't hurt anyone, there's no need to be so afraid of it hawowanlawow has a new favorite as of 15:24 on Jul 21, 2021 |
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Jul 21, 2021 15:18
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hawowanlawow posted:my cousin What so? I, personally, usually have to go and have a little lie down or sit somewhere other than with all of my family at Christmas for a bit, but I'd imagine in some families that would be considered "anti social". Josef bugman has a new favorite as of 15:24 on Jul 21, 2021 |
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Jul 21, 2021 15:22
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Coffee And Pie posted:I’ve had ADHD since I was a kid and didn’t realize until now, at 27. I didn't know I was autistic until 27 as well. This year at 33 I learned I have alexithymia and C-PTSD (thanks tik tok!). All three of those are 'self diagnosis' but have greatly turned my life around since learning about it. I did get an adhd diagnosis in grade 3 or 4 which was nice.
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Jul 21, 2021 15:23
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If you're "self-diagnosing" things like that, you really should go speak to an actual doctor/therapist. You're not qualified to make that kind of determination on yourself.
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Jul 21, 2021 15:29
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Josef bugman posted:What so? I, personally, usually have to go and have a little lie down or sit somewhere other than with all of my family at Christmas for a bit, but I'd imagine in some families that would be considered "anti social". I'm not talking about stepping out, I'm taking about lashing out and picking fights (with someone who has severe bi-polar btw) and then getting super mad and defensive about it after the fact Y'all don't have to worry about it if you're not one of the people taking advantage, and I'm not dumb enough to let the few people who do take advantage gently caress up my first impressions of anyone else (some people are that dumb, tho)
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Jul 21, 2021 15:32
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Robobot posted:If you're "self-diagnosing" things like that, you really should go speak to an actual doctor/therapist. You're not qualified to make that kind of determination on yourself. E-transfer me two hundred dollars per symptom you want me to have professionally diagnosed. Many knowledgeable people in the autism community say exactly the opposite. Self-diagnosis for things like that are great, and it helps remove the stigma of having autism.
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Jul 21, 2021 15:33
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Pre-self diagnosis: Why are these sounds driving me insane, why can't I make eye contact some days. Why do I have no negative feelings, until one day I just get overwhelmed and go into a depression spiral. Why can't I ever advocate for my own needs and can't stand up for myself? Post-self diagnosis: Oh, I'm autistic and I'm experiencing sensory overload. Take a minute to calm down, spend some time and stim. I have negative feelings, I just don't know I have them. Start to look for the "sad" building up early, and prevent the spiral in advance. Oh I'm traumatized by my childhood, and have no self-worth. I need to push through these feelings of fear and do things for me, I'm not going to get in trouble. But I guess since I'm not qualified for this I'll stop. I'll just go back to being a miserable lump since I made these realizations myself, and learned ways to deal with these issues myself.
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Jul 21, 2021 15:43
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hawowanlawow posted:I'm not talking about stepping out, I'm taking about lashing out and picking fights (with someone who has severe bi-polar btw) and then getting super mad and defensive about it after the fact But this is the thing, your first impression is "oh they don't have [x], unlike you who I know isn't going to fake it" might mean that another person just tamps down what they want to say in order to fit in better. If you think that is all for the good then great, but I am wary of that.
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Jul 21, 2021 15:44
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Josef bugman posted:But this is the thing, your first impression is "oh they don't have [x], unlike you who I know isn't going to fake it" nah that wasn't my first impression, they just made it clear after a while. I said the opposite of what you're saying quote:another person just tamps down what they want to say in order to fit in better. If you think that is all for the good then great, but I am wary of that. if what they want to say is picking fights or guilting people to give them stuff they want, then yeah that's all good hawowanlawow has a new favorite as of 15:50 on Jul 21, 2021 |
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Jul 21, 2021 15:48
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Fashionable Jorts posted:Pre-self diagnosis: It's hard to become a mental health professional when you're scared of schooling, can't leave the house, and math illiterate. It's hard to impossible to find a peer in that regard for me and people like me. If I didn't have self diagnosed internet people's advice, I'd still be a hollow shell that didn't function like I could. I still see a therapist because I need other people who can function appropriately to bring me to realistic goals though. They're not expensive anymore either. I see my online therapist for $100 a quarter, for example. But I have money to burn if my mental health is involved. People need to prioritize it over some fun and don't, and that kills me. It should be right behind food and shelter in the budget.
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Jul 21, 2021 15:53
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Fashionable Jorts posted:Pre-self diagnosis: I wasn't attacking you, I was suggesting speaking to a professional about those feelings as well. If you don't want to or can't afford it then keep doing what you're doing.
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Jul 21, 2021 16:11
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Robobot posted:I wasn't attacking you, I was suggesting speaking to a professional about those feelings as well. If you don't want to or can't afford it then keep doing what you're doing. Hmm Robobot posted:If you're "self-diagnosing" things like that, you really should go speak to an actual doctor/therapist. You're not qualified to make that kind of determination on yourself. Scare quotes plus the bolded part absolutely make it seem like an attack on Jorts. The idea that a therapist that has talked to someone for a few hours over the course of months is in a better position to diagnose someone's mental health problems, versus the actual person who has lived with those problems for likely their entire life, knows very saliently what they are experiencing, and is in the best place to figure out what diagnosis fits best, is very strange imo. I agree that talking to a professional is good but usually all they will do is help you guide yourself to a diagnosis. All therapy can give you is someone who will listen to you and give you tools to help yourself, but you still have to do the legwork. Most of the people I know have had to push for testing for ADHD, Autism, etc. because the therapist just straight up did not pick up on it. After testing they finally got confirmation but all that does is enable access to resources for those things. It's totally ok to go "ok, I don't think those resources would benefit me more than just reading these books about my condition and doing a lot of self-reflection" Of course, a lot of people aren't capable of that self-reflection -- those are the people that need therapy, but those same people generally aren't aware enough to self diagnose most of the time. alexandriao has a new favorite as of 16:32 on Jul 21, 2021 |
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Jul 21, 2021 16:29
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hawowanlawow posted:if what they want to say is picking fights or guilting people to give them stuff they want, then yeah that's all good It's more that so often people seem to have very different ideas of what "anti-social" means. It can mean not wanting to be actively social all the way through to being an arse. Therapy can also be tricky. Often the conversation and the actual things you are feeling/ go through aren't necessarily "fixable" as it were.
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Jul 21, 2021 16:48
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Josef bugman posted:It's more that so often people seem to have very different ideas of what "anti-social" means. It can mean not wanting to be actively social all the way through to being an arse. yeah, but rest assured it takes a lot to piss me off. if someone wants to go lay down or just be quiet, that isn't even on my radar
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Jul 21, 2021 16:51
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You're right, I shouldn't have suggested them to speak with a professional.
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Jul 21, 2021 16:55
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Fashionable Jorts posted:E-transfer me two hundred dollars per symptom you want me to have professionally diagnosed. gently caress off with this kind of pity party. This is exactly why people have negative opinions about self-diagnosis. Why do some posters think this kind of behavior is okay?
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Jul 21, 2021 17:00
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I think self-diagnosis is anywhere from naive to actively harmful, but as long as it's being done in the interest of accommodating a quote unquote disability to become a functioning human being in society, it's probably still helpful. When people use it as a kind of responsibility bankruptcy, absolving yourself of any expectations so you can continue the piece of poo poo behavior guilt-free, that's what people have a problem with. As if declaring depression means you're not actually an unreliable piece of poo poo, you just have the ghosts inside of you or whatever so you can continue flaking on everything you need to do.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:09
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Robobot posted:You're right, I shouldn't have suggested them to speak with a professional. Telling someone to speak to a professional is good. Telling someone that the only way to progress is to speak to a professional is not.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:12
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PizzaProwler posted:gently caress off with this kind of pity party. This is exactly why people have negative opinions about self-diagnosis. I, and many other people are capable of managing their symptoms that they've arrived at via self-diagnosis. I do not have the money at hand to talk to a professional who will tell me what I already know. This isn't like self-diagnosing cancer, refusing to see an oncologist, and thinking I can cure myself by drinking lemon water. There is no cure for what I have, just different types of management. I'd rather spend $200 on expensive clothes that don't trigger my autistic sensory issues than fill out a form so a doctor can tell me "you've got the 'tism, you should buy some sensory friendly clothes".
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Jul 21, 2021 17:15
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Fashionable Jorts posted:There is no cure for what I have, just different types of management. I'd rather spend $200 on expensive clothes that don't trigger my autistic sensory issues than fill out a form so a doctor can tell me "you've got the 'tism, you should buy some sensory friendly clothes". username/post
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Jul 21, 2021 17:17
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Jorts are extremely fashionable. They should be more acceptable. Cargo jean shorts are even sexier. When you get to the kind that hit the mid-calf and sag a little? Hot. Guys should all wear those all year. Mmmm. Ankles.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:19
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Fashionable Jorts posted:I, and many other people are capable of managing their symptoms that they've arrived at via self-diagnosis. I do not have the money at hand to talk to a professional who will tell me what I already know. Great, then keep doing that instead of going on and on about it for pity points.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:20
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PizzaProwler posted:Great, then keep doing that instead of going on and on about it for pity points. What's your goal here?
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Jul 21, 2021 17:25
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fizzymercury posted:Jorts are extremely fashionable. They should be more acceptable. Jorts with 5-10% spandex are lovely.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:26
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PizzaProwler posted:Great, then keep doing that instead of going on and on about it for pity points. Do you think that people with mental health are making it up? Or just those who go "I might have this"? What is the complaint even about?
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Jul 21, 2021 17:27
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hawowanlawow posted:hard to cure complete shamelessness. when shameless people see an advantage they will use it, exploiting sympathy for mental illness included I think I only see this from a small number of, like, very young Tik Tok and Instagram kids where there's cultural cache in having a condition (it currently seems to be ADHD). This isn't new, I remember mall goths "wishing" for and romanticising depression in the late 90s and grunge's association with Prozac. And ultimately, if people who need treatment receive it because of that greater visibility and discussion or feel less alone, that's great! The appropriaters will grow out of it. Disco Pope has a new favorite as of 17:55 on Jul 21, 2021 |
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Jul 21, 2021 17:36
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My unpopular opinion is that psychology is, at best, a very inexact science. Diagnoses will involve a lot more guesswork than they let on, plus of course the expectations and biases of the one doing the diagnosing. (And at worst, psychology can be a complete pseudoscience, which makes it downright dangerous the way people assign it the same credibility as the field of physical medicine. But that's a whole other can of worms.)
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Jul 21, 2021 17:43
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Fashionable Jorts posted:Telling someone to speak to a professional is good. I had a buddy with "self diagnosed" PTSD commit suicide because he thought he had everything under control. I encourage you to speak to someone that went to medical school about this stuff. Using tik tok to diagnose PTSD isn't the same as speaking to someone that is qualified to diagnose it. Can't believe "see a doctor if you think you're sick" is such an unpopular opinion, but it is what it is. If you're employed ask your HR if there's any work sponsored therapy they offer. Most large companies have programs like that set up that no one uses.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:46
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in my experience, people who go on about self-diagnoses being unviable and "pity points" (whatever that means) and who like indulging in policing just what mental health issues should be considered "viable" and "serious" tend to be infinitely more horrible than an odd "faking it" kind of person. they're also much, much more common this loving thread sometimes, i swear
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Jul 21, 2021 17:51
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Robobot posted:I had a buddy with "self diagnosed" PTSD commit suicide because he thought he had everything under control. I encourage you to speak to someone that went to medical school about this stuff. Using tik tok to diagnose PTSD isn't the same as speaking to someone that is qualified to diagnose it. I remember my old job advertised access to therapy, and I was incredibly reluctant to use anything that might get back to my boss (and knowing her, my colleagues) who was a major exacorbator of my depression and anxiety. Not to say people shouldn't use those services, I just understand why they'd be reluctant or suspicious.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:54
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nurmie posted:in my experience, people who go on about self-diagnoses being unviable and "pity points" (whatever that means) and who like indulging in policing just what mental health issues should be considered "viable" and "serious" tend to be infinitely more horrible than an odd "faking it" kind of person. they're also much, much more common
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Jul 21, 2021 17:57
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nurmie posted:in my experience, people who go on about self-diagnoses being unviable and "pity points" (whatever that means) and who like indulging in policing just what mental health issues should be considered "viable" and "serious" tend to be infinitely more horrible than an odd "faking it" kind of person. they're also much, much more common Or it's someone that genuinely thinks you should speak to someone that has been through medical school if you're in pain. Telling people therapy doesn't work or isn't important is some scientology poo poo.
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Jul 21, 2021 17:58
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Robobot posted:Or it's someone that genuinely thinks you should speak to someone that has been through medical school if you're in pain. Telling people therapy doesn't work or isn't important is some scientology poo poo. good thing nobody here is telling people that that then, innit
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Jul 21, 2021 18:00
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Robobot posted:Or it's someone that genuinely thinks you should speak to someone that has been through medical school if you're in pain. Telling people therapy doesn't work or isn't important is some scientology poo poo. Lol im literally in therapy. My therapist knows of my three main self-diagnoses, and respects their validity. She has never demanded me to go to a psych to get a "proper" diagnosis. nurmie posted:good thing nobody here is telling people that that then, innit
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Jul 21, 2021 18:02
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I'm glad you're in therapy. edit: I'm a little high right now, so think I was projecting some of what my friend went through onto you. My apologies for how it all came out, I wasn't trying to be a dick or anything.
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Jul 21, 2021 18:03
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Disco Pope posted:I think I only see this from a small number of, like, very young Tik Tok and Instagram kids where there's cultural cache in having a condition (it currently seems to be ADHD). This isn't new, I remember mall goths "wishing" for and romanticising depression in the late 90s and grunge's association with Prozac. And ultimately, if people who need treatment receive it because of that greater visibility and discussion or feel less alone, that's great! The appropriaters will grow out of it. yeah the people I'm thinking of are definitely all over TikTok and Instagram, but they ain't kids and they ain't getting any smarter not in response to you, but there is a big problem on this forum with someone saying "(clearly bad thing) is bad" and then getting responses like "oh so you're saying (totally different thing) is bad??" or "yeah well (totally different thing) is way worse." It's weird and doesn't help
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Jul 21, 2021 18:11
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Robobot posted:I'm glad you're in therapy. That's very understandable, and I'm sorry you experienced that. I'm just annoyed by how pervasive the attitude of mental health not being "real" until you sit in a room and get examined by a doctor is. I don't think that's what you intended to say, but that's how it came across to me. And dipshit above saying I'm here for pity points was very cruel and really put me on edge.
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Jul 21, 2021 18:11
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Fashionable Jorts posted:That's very understandable, and I'm sorry you experienced that. Yeah, my buddy was one of those "I know what's wrong, so talking about it won't help" guys and it just tore me up that he knew something was really wrong but didn't/couldn't bring himself to try and fix it. The whole "therapy can't/doesn't work" stigma needs to go away forever.
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Jul 21, 2021 18:20
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