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Jim sells Dwight's likeness to a Korean mobage developer. Soon after, the "Intractable Master Beetis" becomes a hit on iOS and allows Jim to live a life of frivolous luxury. Dwight enjoys an influx of Korean tourists at his Bed, Beet and Breakfast. Meredith's faulty iVibe starts reacting to the Korean text frequencies and is taken to the hospital.
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Jul 29, 2021 03:34
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| # ? May 31, 2024 10:38 |
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Jim and Pam become adorable YouTube stars with their whimsical and infant-targeted songs. A whole generation of Scrantonites grow up learning to sing "Meanbad Beet Man", "Dwight's Not Brite" and a host of other songs. Meredith visits the hospital to treat her puffy vagina.
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Jul 29, 2021 03:37
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is Meredith okay
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Jul 29, 2021 04:09
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Jim and Dwight take part in an extended staring contest/game of ninja. However, the majority of the episode follows Meredith as she takes a trip to the hospital for her weekly chemo therapy. An extremely humanizing portrayal of a small-town girl who finds increasing ludicrous excuses for her essential hospital stays, we're introduced to a supplementary cast of regulars in Meredith's life. We also see the volunteer work she participates in, wearily returning to the job that allows her to be so involved with Scranton General.
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Jul 29, 2021 04:49
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“Hey Dwight, check this out!” says Jim. As soon as Dwight looks up, Jim’s head pops off like a cork and Dwight is drenched in blood. Jim’s smirking face sails across the room and strikes the camera.
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Jul 29, 2021 06:22
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Jim tricks Dwight into playing Halo 3: ODST. A game that is a shallow waste of time that adds nothing to the Halo franchise.
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Jul 29, 2021 06:23
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Jim becomes a singer-songwriter, and has a huge hit with a song where the flaws of an unnamed man are examined in detail. Dwight thinks the song is about him.
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Jul 29, 2021 12:12
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Dwight backs a kickstarter for a new game, Beet Wars Unlimited, based on positive buzz. He throws in $100 to ensure he gets a copy of the game, his name in the credits, and a cool collector's edition art book. As time goes on, Dwight begins to worry about the status of the game. What originally started as a tactical RPG now includes "romance options" and "blast processing". The game's budget has also ballooned due to hiring professional voice actors and pitching an animated series to Netflix. In addition, actual gameplay footage is almost non-existent as the updates choose to focus on things like "the cutting edge CGI in cut scenes" and "how many potential romance options you have". The development team goes silent for months and Dwight chalks this one up to a loss, thinking his $100 is gone. Then a massive update comes out from the developers, announcing that they have "retooled" Beet Wars Unlimited into a "cross-platform entertainment experience" including a CGI animated movie starring the voices of Hulk Hogan, Kevin Spacey, and James Corden. Dwight is outraged and demands a refund at this point, but it's too late. Beet Wars Unlimited eventually releases 4 years later. It is now a bare-bones RPG that takes less than 4 hours to complete and focuses more on a character named "Beety Boop" than anything else. The Beet Wars Unlimited movie makes over one billion dollars at the box office and spawns 3 sequels and a spin off franchise, "Boss Baby in Beet Wars". Disney eventually purchases the brand and, by 2035, Beety Boop can be seen waving at crowds in front of the "Beet War Mountain" ride at Walt Disney World. A new "Beet Wars" movie or television show is released every 12-18 moths. They're all perfectly average. Dwight sighs as a child runs past him wearing a "BEET WARS" t-shirt emblazoned with characters like Beety Boop, The Beet Boss Baby, and Shmorp Zorp. The child runs into the waiting arms of Jim, who smiles at Dwight. "Don't you just love this Beet Wars stuff? And you were smart to get on the train early, you must have really seen something in this stuff!" Dwight tries a weak smile and says he's at least happy Jim's son enjoys it, even if it's no longer what Dwight expected it to be. "Oh, this isn't my son." Jim mugs for the camera and carries the child away. Dwight's art book never arrives.
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Jul 29, 2021 13:06
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Jim causes Dwight to double post, forcing him to hastily edit his second post.
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Jul 29, 2021 13:06
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Jim keeps tying balloons to Dwight in an effort to entice the office into calling Dwight “balloon boy.” Pam suggests that maybe they should call Jim “balloon boy” seeing as how Jim is the one with a desk full of balloons. The nickname sticks. Jim’s nickname around the office is balloon boy. Jim hangs himself from a huge cluster of balloons. His corpse drifts past the window of the office as it floats up into the sky. Pam mugs the camera.
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Jul 29, 2021 13:14
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim causes Dwight to double post, forcing him to hastily edit his second post. This is...a new level, even for him. I'm almost embarrassed for him really.
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Jul 29, 2021 13:14
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Big Beef City posted:This is...a new level, even for him. I'm almost embarrassed for him really. Edit;gently caress;beets
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Jul 29, 2021 13:42
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Dwight went down the walkboard towards the jakes. He stood outside listening to the voices fading away and he looked again at the silent tracks of the stars where they died over the darkened hills. Then he opened the rough board door of the jakes and stepped in. The Jim was seated upon the closet. He was naked and he rose up mugging and gathered in him his arms against his immense and terrible flesh and shot the wooden barlatch home behind him.
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Jul 29, 2021 13:46
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On the last episode Dwight rolls up to the office in a brand new Challenger and does donuts around Jim's station wagon. That night Jim sneaks to the farm (he knows where the camera blindspots are) and secretly puts 1 gallon of gas into the tank. A week goes by and Dwight has started to notice his tank has barely dropped. Three weeks go by and he's just hit 1/8th depleted. After two months he's still 3/4ths full! By the time winter comes his tank is a little over half, and Dwight becomes suspicious. Even with his high efficiency automatic V6 and aerodynamic hood scoop, he's pretty sure he shouldn't be getting 420mpg. Come spring, his tank is nearly empty and Dwight is in awe of the wonders of modern engineering. On the night before he has to fill up fr the first time, Jim pours an entire bag of sugar into Dwight's tank.
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Jul 29, 2021 14:17
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And they are dancing, the board floor slamming under the jackboots and the fiddlers grinning hideously over their canted pieces. Towering over them all is the Jim and he is naked dancing, his small feet lively and quick and now in doubletime and bowing to the ladies, huge and pale and floppy-haired, like an enormous infant. He never sleeps, he says. He says he'll never die. He bows to the fiddlers and sashays backwards and throws back his head and laughs deep in his throat and he is a great favourite, the Jim. He wafts his hat and the lunar dome of his skill passes palely under the lamps and he swings about and takes posession of one of the fiddles and he pirouettes and makes a pass, two passes, dancing and fiddling at once. His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favourite. He never sleeps, the Jim. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die. Meredith has to be taken to the hospital.
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Jul 29, 2021 14:23
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The Renaissance Festival returns to Scranton and Michael decides to treat the entire office to a day off so they can attend as a team building exercise. Kevin and Stanley quickly escape to enjoy the giant turkey legs, but the rest of the office is happy to get in on the fun. Everybody is blown away by Dwight's costume and his commitment to staying in character as "Dwightum of Schrute", a beet farmer and bard. Jim is running late and Dwight asks Pam if he's alright. She has a dead look in her eyes and replies that Jim is "probably just being Jim again". The day goes on and is incredibly fun for everyone. Dwight wows the office and the entire crowd with his musical skills and even Michael gets a chance to shine when he engages in a bartering session with a blacksmith to get Meredith a huge discount on a necklace she wishes to purchase. As the sun starts to set, Dwight again asks Pam if Jim is okay. She brushes off the question and says she just wants to focus on the fact that the joust is about to begin. It's the Blue Knight vs the Yellow Knight in the joust and Dwight purchases kettle corn for everyone to enjoy. They sit down on the hillside and watch the opening ceremonies begin. Suddenly, the Yellow Knight jumps off his horse and runs, full speed, towards Dwight. He lifts his sword over Dwight's head and brings it down, preparing to slice into his neck. At the last moment he stops, then removes his helmet. It's Nate Nickerson, who Dwight had hired as a personal assistant some time back. Nate says he couldn't resist giving Dwight a little scare. Nate thanks Dwight for taking a chance on him, admitting that his life was in shambles before he met him. He then asks the entire crowd to cheer for Dwight, a man that truly represents the spirit of chivalry. Dwight embraces his friend and says that the audience should save their applause for the spectacular show they're about to see. Dwight sits back down and reaches into his bag of kettle corn. He pulls back when his fingers touch something warm and wet. His fingers are covered in something red. Blood? Dwight carefully opens the tiny paper bag to examine its contents. A human penis sits there. Suddenly, Jim appears on the hillside. He's pale and sweating, and a pool of blood is spreading across his crotch. "G-g-gotcha. Made you... made you uh... well.... you touched it. Did everybody see that? Woah, it's getting spinny in here." Jim passes out, smugly, as the rest of the show is cancelled so medical personnel can attend to Dwight. 2 months later, Jim returns to Dunder Mifflin and mocks Dwight for missing the joust. Dwight explains that they were given free tickets to attend the following day, further explaining that Jim probably didn't know that because he was in a medically induced coma in a desperate attempt to re-attach his penis. "How'd that go, by the way?" adds Dwight. "Oh it's gone." Jim mugs for the camera and mimes chopping off his penis.
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Jul 29, 2021 14:26
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Jim replaces all of Dwight's regular verbs with irregular verbs. Jim mugged the camera.
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Jul 29, 2021 14:36
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Jim brings an erotic cake to the office and Dwight realizes that it's an exact replica of his own lower body. Jim mugs for the camera as he slices into the buttocks region of the cake.
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Jul 29, 2021 15:40
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Jim injects Dwight with a mysterious syringe he found on the street. “What was in it?” Jim repeats the interviewer’s off-camera question. “No idea.” Jim chuckles and thinks for a moment. “Definitely AIDS though,” he says.
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Jul 29, 2021 17:07
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Dwight is pleased with his sales record for the month and Jim remarks "Well an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters could write Shakespeare" That doesn't even make sense as an idiom to apply in this situation, Dwight says as he leaves. The next day at the office there are infinite monkeys wearing Jim's clothes, making sales calls. They all mug for the camera as they beat Dwight's sales record.
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Jul 29, 2021 17:15
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One morning Jim tearfully reveals that Dwight passed away several years ago. His pranks merely attempts to get Dwight to let go and move onto the next world. Finally accepting the truth, Dwight finally passes on.
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Jul 29, 2021 17:19
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Dwight walks out to his car after another lo day at the office. To his delight and surprise, his childhood hero, Michael Keaton, dressed as Batman, is standing in the parking lot. “Are you….” Keaton squints at a piece of paper, “Dwight…. Shrite?” Dwight, afraid to correct his idol, nods. Keaton replies, “I’m supposed to tell you that…. Is this right?” Keaton looks bewildered, reading the page, “Beets are stupid? Is this supposed to say ‘beets’?” Keaton wanders off, while three Rockettes, dressed in large faceless beet costumes, dance out into the parking lot and perform. Pam bursts into tears. “THIS is why you missed Cece’s first birthday?!” Jim mugs the camera. “Took out a second mortgage on the house, too!” He winks.
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Jul 29, 2021 17:25
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One quiet day at Dunder Mifflin, Jim stands up and shouts "Eureka!". He rushes into the conference room and starts frantically writing on the white board for nearly 15 minutes straight. Everyone rushes in there, expecting Jim to have come up with some amazing new way to lower costs or streamline their supply chain. Dwight is at the front of the group, so he sees the white board first. DWIGHT IS POOPY Jim mugs for the camera as Dwight walks back to his desk. In a talking head segment, Jim explains that while he distracted everyone with the white board, he had Pam put a powerful neurotoxin in Dwight's water bottle.
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Jul 29, 2021 17:50
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jim, tired of it all, retcons every prank into more time spent playing candy crush.
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Jul 29, 2021 17:51
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numberoneposter posted:jim, tired of it all, retcons every prank into more time spent playing candy crush. Of course 'candy' is Jim's affectionate name for Dwight's testicle (singular as Dwight was canonically born with only one testicle)
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Jul 29, 2021 18:20
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Dwight, finally realizing the rules that govern Jim's existence, asks Jim to please prank him. Jim is at first excited, but then realizes that pranking Dwight would be fulfilling his request and meeting his expectations. The purpose of a prank, he thinks, it to SUBVERT one's expectations. Therefore, Jim decides NOT to prank Dwight. However, by NOT pranking Dwight, he is in fact actually pranking him, bringing him back to his first problem. Jim stands motionless for nearly an hour pondering this as Pam begs him to just start acting like a human being again. Jim is unable to make a decision and silently walks out the front door. A few moments later Dwight hears cars honking, followed by the sound of a traffic accident. He looks outside and sees Jim had entered his car, only to cross 4 lanes of traffic and crash into a telephone pole. Jim is rushed to the hospital but doesn't survive. Dwight profusely apologizes to Pam, feeling responsible for Jim's mental break. Pam instead thanks Dwight, saying that Jim was just a ghost of himself and needed to "stop haunting her". Months later, Dwight is reading a book before bed when hears rattling chains in his basement. He rushes down there and sees a hunched figure in the corner. Trembling, Dwight takes a step closer and asks who it is. Suddenly, the figure turns and runs right at Dwight while letting out an inhuman wail. It disappears as it reaches Dwight, disappearing into the ether. "Thank you, Jim, for pranking me!" says Dwight into the air. Jim's spirit reappears and looks confused. Dwight explains that the spirit just scared Dwight, which is a prank, and in fact was a prank that Jim pulled several times in his life. Jim's wraith grows more irritated, realizing that this was exactly what Dwight wanted. Dwight then points to the ground, showing a circle drawn in salt. Dwight further explains that it's designed to confine spirits to the earthly realm, and that Jim won't be passing on to the afterlife anytime soon. Heck, Dwight adds with a smile, Jim won't be leaving that circle any time soon. "Although," Dwight adds, "It'd be a funny prank if you did." Jim is now trapped, both by Dwight's enchanted circle and by his inability to prank Dwight. Leaving the circle would be a prank according to Dwight, but that's what Dwight wants. So NOT leaving the circle is the best prank. But Dwight wants to be pranked. Jim's vengeful spirit is unable to fulfill its final desire and remains on Earth in that circle forever. Jim has been defeated for good. And, for once, Dwight smiles smugly. Then Dwight wakes up in his bed, having just had the most bizarre but wonderful dream. He hits his alarm clock but Jim has covered it with superglue so it sticks do Dwight's hand. Dwight is late for work and Jim says "Yeah, time can be a really STICKY THING, huh?" as he mugs for the camera.
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Jul 29, 2021 19:22
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Jim allows himself to be replaced by his own doppelganger who eventually helps doppels replace everyone else except dwight, who feels left out.
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Jul 29, 2021 19:37
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Jim feeds baby Dwight a big spoonful of gross cod liver oil.
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Jul 29, 2021 20:01
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Jim comes to the office dressed as a Jem Hadar and says he changed his name to Jim Hadar. Dwight doesn't understand because he only watched Babylon 5
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Jul 29, 2021 20:02
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Jim flushes the toilet while Dwight is sitting on it, forcefully sucking the turds from Dwight's body and causing Dwight's anus to prolapse grotesquely.
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Jul 29, 2021 22:09
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Jim plays Dwight’s head like a bongo while Michael plays a steel drum in his office.
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Jul 29, 2021 22:22
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the frequency of jim's pranks begins to accelerate. a sobbing dwight, staring at a desk top strewn with jello covered office supplies begs jim to stop, just stop. jim, a manic grin on his face, shakes his head and whispers "i can't. she won't let me. its all her". pam smiles in the background at dwight, nodding once.
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Jul 29, 2021 22:33
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Dwight read that the best way to handle bullies is just to ignore them, so he sits stock still with his eyes unblinking straight ahead for eight full hours while Jim blasts the Duck Tails NES Moon level song directly into his ear at deafening volume on a trumpet.
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Jul 29, 2021 23:09
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Jim shows up to work dressed as Dwight, yelling about how "he's really Dwight, Jim cast a spell on him and switched their bodies" and how its a "freaky friday." Everyone in the office - including Dwight - ignores Jim, except or Angela. She walks up to "Dwight", kisses him on the lips, hard, and then turns and mugs at the camera while Pam stares daggers at Jim in the background.
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Jul 30, 2021 01:43
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Jim begins every morning with narrated Gossip Girl style flashbacks, referencing the salacious events that happened in the office the previous day. What's strange, though, isn't him acting like a TV character, it's that he describes things that he couldn't possibly know...
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Jul 30, 2021 01:46
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I used one of those AIs to make this one and I gotta say, it came out pretty well. Dwight moves in with Jim and Pam for the winter. Jim starts a miniature golf tournament to raise money for homeless charities and recruits Dwight as the first entrant. While the two are on a road trip, Jim lies to Dwight and says that Schrute Farms has been given to him. When Dwight realizes Jim lied to him, he is very angry and storms out of the car. However, he returns in time to cover for Pam and Jim after they end up in a wreck. At the charity tournament, Dwight's act is voted off the stage first, and he angrily accuses Jim of cheating, but later realizes he had it coming. Toby develops a romance with a "friend" of Pam's, a new vendor named Holly. Dwight and Andy ask Jim to be the couple's escort to a Christmas party and reluctantly agree.
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Jul 30, 2021 02:05
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Jim walks into Michael's office and announces that he's built a time machine, and would like for Dwight and Michael to test it. Dwight scoffs that creating a Time machine is impossible, but Michael is intrigued by Jim's words, and excitedly asks Jim to show them the time machine. Jim leads the pair down to the warehouse, where a refridgerator box with a few wires punched throw it sits. Scrawled on the front, in sharpie, is "~~Pam's Landscape paintings~~ Jim's Time Machine". Dwight sighs and follows Michael into the box, and notes that the interior is just a regular cardboard box with some glow in the dark stars glued on, but with a calculator taped to one side. After a minute of feeling foolish, Dwight shouts out that the machine is obviously doing nothing, just to hear Jim giggle out that "Of course it's not, it's set to go forward in time one second per second, idiot". Dwight sighs and waits for about another minute in the box while Michael makes what he thinks are astronaut sounds and punches 80085 into the calculator. Eventually Michael gets bored so the pair lift the box up to leave just to find themselves not in the warehouse, but in a desolate wasteland. After taking a look around, Dwight comes to the sudden realization that the time machine was real, before suddenly realizing that he is getting light headed, and the atmosphere must not be breathable. He hurriedly tries to get Michael back into the box, but his voice comes out a high pitched whine due to the foreign contents of the atmosphere, and he collapses before he can push Michael back to the time machine. The last thing Dwight sees before dying is Jim's skeleton sitting in a dilapidated chair, his Rictus grin pointed straight at him.
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Jul 30, 2021 02:11
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Dwight is eating a hamburger for lunch when he catches Jim starting at him. Dwight asks what's wrong and Jim sighs, then says that he didn't realize Dwight cared so little about the world. When Dwight asks him to explain, Jim goes through a detailed explanation about the negative impact of cattle farming and beef processing. Dwight agrees and makes an oath to reduce his beef consumption as much as possible. Dwight thanks Jim for the information, then heads to the bathroom. When he gets back, Jim is shaking his head sadly. Dwight again asks what's wrong, and Jim says that he didn't realize Dwight loved wasting water by flushing after ever bathroom trip. This continues until, days later, Dwight walks to worked dressed only in a cotton sheet he sewed together. In his hands are three beets he plans to eat for lunch. Suddenly, Jim zooms past him in a pickup truck rolling coal. He stops and backs up on the highway, causing cars to swerve around him to avoid a collision. Jim rolls down the window with the air conditioner blowing at full speed and pours a can of oil out the window, then shoves a McDonald's breakfast sandwich in his mouth and waves at Dwight. "No, I get it. I get this one." says Dwight, sadly, as Jim mugs for the camera.
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Jul 30, 2021 14:58
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Jim dresses up in a toilet suit and tricks Dwight into pooping in his lap. Seconds after Dwight sits back down at his desk, Jim emerges from the bathroom—still mostly in his toilet costume—and hurls Dwight’s turd at him. Pam purses her lips. She explains in a talking head that Jim spent the money from the fund to fix the car’s transmission on making the toilet costume.
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Jul 30, 2021 15:24
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| # ? May 31, 2024 10:38 |
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Jim spends his son’s birthday hiding in Dwight’s bushes wearing a clown mask.
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Jul 30, 2021 16:58
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