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Songbearer posted:I've lost my loot table and the hero is two hours away from the dungeon! gently caress! I don't know what loot I'm supposed to drop! Someone hand me something, quick! 4 strength 4 stam leather belt.
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Jul 30, 2021 19:46
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The heroes died but the monsters died too, now the dungeon is just a normal place with nothing magical or adventurous in it. Also the treasure and artifacts died, making it even more normal.
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Jul 30, 2021 19:47
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Hey has anyone considered maybe putting a lock on the entrance cave? Seems like we could cut down on some of these heroes stealing our poo poo with a little pre-emptive planning. Just food for thought since we haven’t had a team meeting for a while and I’m not going anywhere near the suggestion box.
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Jul 30, 2021 19:48
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The dungeon is like a supermarket but instead of a soft jazz or top ten whitebread pop album on repeat instead the PA system constantly plays the Dan Bull song from the EA f2p Dungeon Keeper game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH67duada9E
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Jul 30, 2021 19:50
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Jul 30, 2021 19:55
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Songbearer posted:I've lost my loot table and the hero is two hours away from the dungeon! gently caress! I don't know what loot I'm supposed to drop! Someone hand me something, quick! It's not as if you have to drop loot. Just think about it. That's your upbringing, tradition talking. You're letting the hero live rent-free in your head, making you a neurotic pleaser eager to satisfy his expectations. Just don't.
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Jul 30, 2021 20:01
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frumpykvetchbot posted:It's not as if you have to drop loot. Just think about it. That's your upbringing, tradition talking. You're letting the hero live rent-free in your head, making you a neurotic pleaser eager to satisfy his expectations. Just don't. Someone dungeon bosses genuinely enjoy the tradboss lifestyle and that's ok!
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Jul 30, 2021 20:08
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Has anybody seen my glaive-guisarme?
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Jul 30, 2021 20:08
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Do we really even need to fight the heroes? I mean have you seen some of them? Hachi machi! There’s no way I could fit a collar over my grotesque swollen mass, but if I could I’d definitely be getting hot under it, hoooooooo mama!
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Jul 30, 2021 20:08
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I'm an ooze bard
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Jul 30, 2021 20:09
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Everyone is monster girls because this is the other kind of dungeon.
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Jul 30, 2021 20:11
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Colonel Cancer posted:I'm an ooze bard burble for me, baby
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Jul 30, 2021 20:15
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Do we really even need to fight the heroes? I mean have you seen some of them? Hachi machi! There’s no way I could fit a collar over my grotesque swollen mass, but if I could I’d definitely be getting hot under it, hoooooooo mama!  that is the type of hero that gets you hot and bothered? A bearded nerd in his skivvies?
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Jul 30, 2021 20:16
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Hey jerks quit putting fridge magnets on the iron golems rear end I don't care what your kids drew today I'm trying to keep a respectable corridor of statues I don't want some adventurer to come in and start giggling at rusty again.
coldpudding fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Jul 30, 2021 |
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Jul 30, 2021 20:21
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why did they even invite granos in the first place?
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Jul 30, 2021 20:29
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EDIT:  Oglaf Titty comic 
Somebody fucked around with this message at 23:41 on Jul 30, 2021 |
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Jul 30, 2021 20:30
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Songbearer posted:I've lost my loot table and the hero is two hours away from the dungeon! gently caress! I don't know what loot I'm supposed to drop! Someone hand me something, quick! Drop some sick beats, whoever programs the background music for this place sucks at it.
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Jul 30, 2021 20:57
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edit: poo poo wrong thread. pigs balls etc.
Lascivious Sloth fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Jul 30, 2021 |
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Jul 30, 2021 21:00
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*psst* Where the lamia chamber at?
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Jul 30, 2021 21:46
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MackAddie posted:*psst* Where the lamia chamber at? Only skeletons here! *omnious sound of many, many bones rattling*
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Jul 30, 2021 21:58
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looking back and forth between two dungeon chambers in confusion, one labeled 'skeletons' and one labeled 'skellingtons'
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Jul 30, 2021 22:07
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Oh yeah You Dont want to gently caress with the skellingtons
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Jul 30, 2021 22:10
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im a skeleton but i stole 6 more legs to be a spider skeleton man
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Jul 30, 2021 22:22
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Meme Poker Party posted:- Arachne. Arachne was a woman who bet Athena in a weaving contest, got a hiding for it, killed herself, then was transformed into a spider. A regular spider. Not that. As recorded in Ovid's Metamorphoses. First the denial of lamia balls now this. poopnanners posted:I am the slime people look at me go I'm a goblin girl.
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Jul 30, 2021 22:27
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I'm a skeleton lamia 
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Jul 30, 2021 22:46
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Baxter posted:Someone keeps eating my lunch from the breakroom fridge. *wobbles around like a giant jello cube, demonstrating the lack of arms that could open the fridge door*
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Jul 31, 2021 00:14
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I'm a Gelatinous Pube, AMA
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Jul 31, 2021 00:17
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wheres the tugging room at
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Jul 31, 2021 00:25
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It is I, Stinky, the monster who farts!!
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Jul 31, 2021 00:58
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Colonel Cancer posted:I'm a skeleton lamia *sweats with horniness*
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Jul 31, 2021 01:00
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Lascivious Sloth posted:wheres the tugging room at Ugh, you forgot again? Floor 69, last door on the right
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Jul 31, 2021 01:30
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I was told there'd be annual salary reviews . 
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Jul 31, 2021 01:36
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Linty Fresh posted:It is I, Stinky, the monster who farts!! Stinky, watch out! The incoming party has very strong fart resistance. We're trying to sue the Adventurers' Guild for letting so many weird "poison" and "blight" and "plague" people be Heroes these days. I know grim and dark is all the rage now, but they are definitely stepping on our trademarks with those.
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Jul 31, 2021 01:44
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frumpykvetchbot posted:I was told there'd be annual salary reviews . You misheard, it's celery reviews. They're posted on our announcement board out front.
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Jul 31, 2021 02:12
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I just came up with a brilliant idea. Let's turn the dungeon into a monster girl brothel so horny adventurers will give us their loot instead of barging in to murder us and take our loot. Meme Poker Party already has all the monster girls lined up.
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Jul 31, 2021 02:19
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Yaldabaoth posted:I just came up with a brilliant idea. Let's turn the dungeon into a monster girl brothel so horny adventurers will give us their loot instead of barging in to murder us and take our loot. Meme Poker Party already has all the monster girls lined up. If you want to be the one to squeeze the gelatinous cube into a 'Monster Girl' mold, be my guest.
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Jul 31, 2021 02:27
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Yaldabaoth posted:I just came up with a brilliant idea. Let's turn the dungeon into a monster girl brothel so horny adventurers will give us their loot instead of barging in to murder us and take our loot. Meme Poker Party already has all the monster girls lined up. Excuse me? Those were cool monster girls ready to go on adventure. Nothing about them suggests that they are prostitutes. Please do not disrespect the girls like this again.
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Jul 31, 2021 02:29
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Meme Poker Party posted:Excuse me? Those were cool monster girls ready to go on adventure. Nothing about them suggests that they are prostitutes. Please do not disrespect the girls like this again. I wasn't referring specifically to those girls.
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Jul 31, 2021 02:38
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We're a christian dungeon, not gonna have any of that
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Jul 31, 2021 02:57
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I suppose the Jesus zombie can offer some handjobs but we're drawing a line there, capiche
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Jul 31, 2021 02:59
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