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Dwight comes home only to find a strange family sitting down at his table and eating dinner. Dwight tries to throw them out of his house only to realize to his horror that it's not his house and he's come home to the wrong beet farm. His beet farm is miles away. Dwight doesn't know how but he's sure Jim is responsible. After Dwight leaves the father of the family Dwight barged in on takes off his mask to reveal Jim smirking at the camera. Jim explains that he bought a beet farm and fixed it up to look like Dwight's, hired actors to portray his "family," and then bribed the city to temporarily reroute traffic so that Dwight's commute home is subtly redirected to the new, fake farm. "Totally worth it," says Jim.
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Jul 30, 2021 17:29
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| # ? May 31, 2024 13:07 |
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Dwight passes away unexpectedly. During the viewing of his video will, Jim yawns loudly and asks "when are we getting to the good stuff?", but no one reacts to him. At the office, Jim's pranks go completely unnoticed. Kevin doesn't realize Jim poured salt in his drink. Michael doesn't smell the fart bomb Jim hid under his desk. Oscar just removes the foil that Jim wrapped around his desk and continues with work. "WHY IS NOBODY PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?!?!" screams Jim as he starts bashing his head against the wall. Nobody even flinches, they just keep working away. Jim is left perplexed and, with nothing else to do, is forced to try and make a sale. However, it's been decades since he actually tried a sale and he fails terribly with his aggressive strategy of screeching at his client and then questioning their manhood. This continues for several weeks until Michael takes Jim and asks him to leave of his own accord or be escorted out. Jim says that they can't fire him, he's the handsome love interest, and Michael explains that Jim doesn't even get paid, they just let him sit there because they feel sad for him. Jim says he'll leave with his head held high, then asks Pam to come with him. Pam just stares, dumbfounded, and asks why she'd leave with him. Jim is wounded and goes to point at his wedding ring, only to find it missing. Kevin mutters "Jim thinks he's married to Pam again" and an embarrassed Jim walks out alone. With nowhere else to go, Jim wanders to the abandoned Schrute Farms and hides in Dwight's bedroom. Every few days someone comes by (usually Angela maintaining the farm or someone meeting with Mose to discuss Dwight's philanthropic efforts and investments) and Jim slinks into the beet cellar to hide. All the while, Jim is changing. After a month of this, a man shows up at Dunder Mifflin in a mustard yellow shirt and sunglasses. He says his name is Dwight. But, upon closer look, it's obviously just Jim. Jim, who is slowly transforming into a strange facsimile of Dwight. Pam screams and begs him to leave, and Jim-Dwight flees into the woods of Scranton, unsure of what he is any more.
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Jul 30, 2021 18:05
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Dwight shows an interest in a certain stock. Jim shorts it.
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Jul 30, 2021 18:06
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Dwight shows an interest in certain livestock. Jim shoots it.
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Jul 30, 2021 18:09
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Dwight shows an interest in a certain movie. Jim spoils it.
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Jul 30, 2021 18:10
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Jim constantly pranks his own children constantly, ensuring that they will be unable to express human emotion outside of pranks. 30 years later, Jim's children are both stuck in dead-end jobs, waiting for their father to finally die and leave them whatever money he has left. Jim passes away but leaves all his money to an online cult leader. Jim's children continue to toil away in lives they hate with no feasible way to escape. Dwight and Dwight (Jim renamed them when they joined high school) stare at their father's grave, which Jim's will explicitly stated was to be carved with his smug face.
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Jul 30, 2021 18:50
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Dwight has become a man of a certain age. Jim is eternally youthful.
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Jul 30, 2021 19:28
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Jim agrees to be the designated driver for Dwight's birthday party. The whole office is going to meet at a familiar bar. Dwight is delighted and even jokingly suggests driving his prized Trans-Am "if he can handle it." Jim feigns being not sure he can, but Dwight insists and Jim finally caves. While at the party Jim is sober as a judge, diligently consuming only non-alcoholic beverages and pretending to enjoy himself while the rest of the office goes off the hinges. Dwight is having a great time sinking jagerbombs. When it's time to drive home a surly Dwight wants to embarrass Jim's driving abilities and goads him into taking the car on the back roads "to test him as a wheelman." Jim, actually knowing how to drive quite well, goes along with it and pretends to drive overly cautious while a drunk Dwight cackles and revels in Jim's apparent inability to drive. "Kickstart My Heart" bellows through the woods. Jim's overly cautions handling of the corners combined with blasting Motley Crue arouses the suspicion of a police car looking for drunk drivers. When the tell-tale flashing lights of the cruiser ignite Jim quickly rinses and gargles with high proof Everclear grain alcohol and spits it into the footwell. Dwight isn't worried, he hasn't seen any evidence of Jim drink at all and he's doing well under the speed limit and he might even know the officer, get a happy birthday wish from a man in uniform and a great chance to ridicule Jim's driving ability. But the officer smells alcohol and sternly demands a breath sample from an oblivious Jim who blows three times the legal limit, Jim looking sorry turns to Dwight and says "I may have snuck in a few margaritas...and tequila shots" before being ordered out of the car, arrested for felony DUI, and stuffed in the back of the patrol car. Dwight pleads with the officer to not have his car impounded but the officer says he's way too drunk to drive it home and there's nothing he can do but call a tow truck. Dwight is offered a ride in the tow truck, but the impound yard is somewhere Dwight hasn't even heard of and it's 30 miles in the wrong direction. Dismayed, but knowing this road well he decides to trudge home and takes the tow truck driver's card before telling him to be careful with his baby. "She's in good hands," the driver replies. After the police and tow truck hauling the Trans Am have left Dwight takes a moment to reflect in the cool quiet night air. Dwight thinks to himself that he has done nothing wrong, Jim is going to jail and he will get his car back, its in the hand of professionals, and maybe its because of all the jagerbombs but he feels sense a stoic resolve, and it is his birthday after all. Dwight hears the familiar sound of "Here I Go Again" ringing through the woods getting louder and louder. Suddenly lights are right on him. In a stroke of cosmic irony Dwight is fatally hit and run by an absolutely trashed Meredith who can barely keep her minivan between the ditches. "gently caress was that?" slurs a barely conscious Meredith as she takes another nip of out of a plastic bottle of bottom shelf vodka and keeps driving. White Snake bellows through the woods as Dwight fades to black. Early in the morning and now at the police station after having his stomach pumped and kept under observation for alcohol poisoning Jim has had a blood sample drawn it returns at .00%, clearing him of charges and even garnering him an apology. Jim mugs to an exhausted medical technician. numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Jul 30, 2021 |
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Jul 30, 2021 21:14
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Jim and Dwight visit the DMZ. While standing near the demarcation line between North and South Korea, Jim pushes Dwight forward, making him an illegal entry into the heavily militarized state. After a firefight between Korean forces, Dwight is captured and tortured for information on increasing paper output in the impoverished nation. Jim mugs to the camera that's filming him in the Panmunjom holding cell.
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Jul 30, 2021 21:28
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"Why did you do this Jim?" a Korean officer asks. "Because there is only one Korea" Jim replies. The Korean border patrol officer says "drat straight" and lets him go
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Jul 30, 2021 22:46
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After reading 50 Shades of Grey Pam suggests to Jim they try some light BDSM to spice up their sex life. Reluctant at first, Jim is shocked by how much he enjoys it, and together with Pam begins to explore the depths of human experience. Soon they’re trying things more extreme, and things finally come to a head when they take a month off work to travel the world in search “of the limits of all things.” Four weeks later they return to the office, content, and even bring gifts for all their coworkers from their experiences. Dwight is thrilled with his new puzzle box.
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Jul 31, 2021 16:11
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Jim and three of his droogs (also Jims) bash Dwight up the gulliver and give him a bit of the old in-out in-out.
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Jul 31, 2021 16:14
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Jul 31, 2021 17:16
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Someone photoshop the smile upside down into a crazed joker grin, tia
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Jul 31, 2021 17:42
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Jul 31, 2021 18:23
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Lmao This is Jim in Netherworld smugly tricking Dwight to follow the Path of 1,000 Sorrows
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Jul 31, 2021 19:40
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Jim comes to work in the stolen body of an Asian-American man. Dwight is infuriated.
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Jul 31, 2021 21:45
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Jim takes Dwight to court for custody of Mose, and wins.
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Jul 31, 2021 22:05
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Jim pushes Dwight down the stairs
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Jul 31, 2021 22:20
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Jim delivers a package of chocolates to Dwight’s house and Mose eats all of it
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Jul 31, 2021 22:34
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After seeing the success of HBO Max's new Gossip Girl reboot and the Will & Grace revival, NBC decides to bring back the Office on their new streaming service, Peacock. And because the show is now streaming it's an opportunity to create a more adult, TV-MA, prestige TV version of the show. All of the original actors agree to come back and John Kransinski, fresh off the success of The Quiet Place 1 and 2 joins the writer's room. Divying out assignments, Greg Daniels assigns John to work on a Dwight and Jim centric episode that begins with a prank. John eagerly accepts promising to write something that "will blow everyone's minds and show you what the Office can be." Several weeks later John hands out his completed script to the rest of the writer's room to read through. The writers are surprised by the length of the script. Instead of the typical 30 pages you'd see for a 30 minute sitcom episode, John's script is at least five hundred pages long. And unlike those scrips it not written in a traditional, dialogue driven format. Instead it's single spaced, like a novel. Looking at the perplexed writers, John announces that he thinks a good first step is for him to read through the script out loud before they start discussing it "so everyone can capture the flavor" and "can see where I'm coming from with our new freedom." Greg Daniels reluctantly agrees. John begins to read. The entire episode is one long "prank" where Jim ambushes Dwight outside the ofice, drags him into an abandoned room in the basement of the building, and proceeds to graphically torture him until he begs for death. Each step, each torture, is written out and described in excruciatingly detail, and at several points writers leave the room to be sick. Finally after hours John finishes to silence. Staring at the horrified expressions in front of him he turns to a camera that isn't there and winks. Upgrade fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Aug 1, 2021 |
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Aug 1, 2021 02:04
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Jim glares stoically at Dwight. With no passion or emotion in his words, Jim explains that if Dwight refuses to get in the mech, then Angela will have to pilot it in his stead.
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Aug 1, 2021 18:10
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it turns out dwight's pretty good at pranking too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO8N3L_aERg
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Aug 1, 2021 18:41
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Inspired by the athleticism and patriotism of the 2021 American Olympic athletes Dwight announces to the office that he's going to qualify for the 2024 games in karate. While the rest of the office wishes Dwight luck, Jim jeers at him, turning to Pam and saying loudly "no way that fat gently caress could qualify for a hot dog eating contest, let alone the Olympics." Two years later, after a string of stellar tournament wins, Dwight is invited to compete at the 2024 Olympics Karate Qualification tournament, and he invites his coworkers to attend and cheer him on. Moments before he steps on the mat for his first match, Jim bursts from the stands and proceeds to brutally assault him with a lead pipe, breaking both his knees. As Dwight rolls on the ground screaming in agony and moments before he's tackled by security, Jim turns and mugs at the NBC Sport camera, and mouths "told you."
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Aug 1, 2021 19:36
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Sherry Bahm posted:Jim glares stoically at Dwight. Meredith then enters the room on a gurney, covered in bandages. She hasn't even been taken to a hospital yet.
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Aug 2, 2021 01:02
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Jim starts calling in bomb threats to every restaurant that Dwight tries to order dinner from. An irritated Dwight finally decides to cook something, only to find his oven has been packed with explosives. Jim mugs for the camera as Dwight outruns the explosion in slow motion.
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Aug 2, 2021 10:54
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The Scranton airwaves are filled with ads for "Friendly Jim's Reverse Mortgages", letting the population of Scranton know that "Friendly Jim" will pay them cold hard cash "Just to keep living in your house!" Dwight, concerned that most people do not understand the complexities and risks associated, starts his own ad campaign (paid for out of his own pocket) to inform people of the problems. Jim fires back with his own ad. "You worked hard for you house. And I want to reward you for that. It's time your house started paying YOU, instead of the other way around. This guy, Dwight Poop, he's saying this is a scam. Well, that's just because he hates hard work. He hates America. He's the kind of person that would lie to your face just for the joy of it. So if you see Dwight on the street, throw him a punch of two, for ol' Friendly Jim." Jim begins repossessing homes after a few months while Dwight is attacked on the street by waves of elderly Scrantonites. Dwight begs Jim to stop as he's destroying the future of Scranton, but Jim just smugly smiles and says he can't stop, it's too much fun. Jim's ads continue to rely heavily on lies, Americana, and Jim's weird charisma and they prove incredibly successful. After a short time Jim owns nearly 1/3 of the residential property in Scranton. To celebrate, Jim burns it all down in a drug-fueled night of arson.
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Aug 2, 2021 16:19
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Jim walks behind Dwight and hits the unaware salesman in the head with a sock filled with a piece of lead the size of a soap bar. Dwight skull is shattered, requiring dozens of hours of surgery to stop his multiple cranial bleeds and replace the bone with metal plates. Even after surgery Dwight remains in a coma for nine days. When he awakes Dwight finds he is permanently blind in his left eye and has extreme difficulty with speech both speaking and understanding. Medical bills bankrupt Dwight and he loses the farm, which included Mose as Dwight had legally reclassified him as livestock for tax purposes. Angela was unable to deal with being a full time caretaker and divorces Dwight, leaving him unable to work and without any support. Within six months Dwight is homeless and then shortly thereafter takes his own life. At the funeral everyone agrees that it was by far Jim's funniest prank yet.
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Aug 2, 2021 17:01
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Jim is found by Pam, barely alive and unmoving, after an apparent attempted suicide. Jim is rushed to the hospital where he is placed into a medically induced coma. As time goes on, Jim appears unlikely to make any kind of recovery, so Pam turns her attention to his living will. It's confusingly worded and avoids directly mentioning what Jim wants done. Strangest of all, it calls on Dwight to make the final decision regarding Jim's quality of life. Dwight is conflicted on what to do, torn between what he thinks is right and what he thinks Jim would have wanted for himself. This matter is compounded when Schrute Farms is surrounded by protestors from the local church, begging him to keep Jim alive. When Dwight asks Pam if Jim went to that church, she just laughs and says that Jim "went to a church that was much older and much hungrier". Dwight struggles for days as the protests grow and are met by counter protests. After a week, Dwight's home is the site of violence and clashes erupt between the two groups. Dwight finally decides enough is enough and heads to the hospital to make his decision. He asks Pam to come as well, but she declines, saying that "90 day fiance is on and I don't want to miss that". At the hospital, Dwight takes a final few moments to look at Jim and remember him as he was. Although he's only been in the hospital for a relatively short time, he's grown thinner and gaunter, looking even more like a skeleton. His hair is floppier and he has a constant 5 o clock shadow. Dwight opens one of Jim's eyes to look for movement, but Jim just stares back at him with a glassy, unseeing eyeball. Dwight leans in and whispers to Jim that he loves him, and that he'll miss him. With that, Dwight gives the attendants the order to remove all life support from Jim. The machines shut down and Jim's breathing slows to a stop. Suddenly, Jim starts violently shaking in the bed. His arms clutch at his throat and he begins yanking the ventilator tube out of his throat. He's kicking and screaming, tearing out tubing and IVs. Blood sprays from his neck where he yanks out his dialysis port. The attendants are trying to hold him down but Jim is fighting back with inhuman strength, especially surprising given how long he's been laying in bed, atrophying. Dwight leaps into action and grasps Jim tightly in his arms, unsure of what exactly he hopes to accomplish. A part of him hopes they can save Jim but he doubts it's possible. He just wants Jim to stop screaming and tearing himself apart. Dwight makes eye contact with Jim and Jim points at him. He screams one final time, then speaks in a raspy voice. "Dwight, you killed me! You son of a bitch, I knew you'd do it!" Jim shakes violently one last time and passes away. Everyone in his room is in shock, and several doctors assure Dwight that he had nothing to do with that. A nurse even mentions that that has never happened before, and that Jim must have some kind of "bizarre body chemistry" to have had that reaction. None of this soothes Dwight, however, who holds himself responsible for Jim's violent death. Immediately afterwards, Dwight calls Pam and explains what happens. She yawns and thanks him for "finally putting him out of his misery", then asks if Dwight wants to go get ice cream or something. Dwight hangs up and sits in silence in his car, unable to muster the strength to drive home. He turns on the radio to hear some music and is greeted by the song (I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight.
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Aug 2, 2021 17:27
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Jim french kisses Michael in front of a furiously jealous Dwight
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Aug 2, 2021 17:36
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Jim makes sweet love to Michael in front of a furiously jealous Dwight
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Aug 2, 2021 17:37
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Jim marries Michael in front of a furiously jealous Dwight
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Aug 2, 2021 17:38
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Dwight has been coughing for weeks and one day at work, collapses in a heap. He wakes up in an ambulance and jokes with the paramedic to drop him off on the corner. The paramedic laughs and says no, he can't do that, and then asks "Mr Schrute are you a smoker?" while holding a stethoscope to his back. In the next scene a doctor is explaining to Dwight that the cancer has spread from his lungs to his lymph nodes. Dwight however is transfixed on the yellow mustard spot on the doctor's jacket. "Mr Schrute. Mr Schrute. Do you understand what I've just told you?" A perplexed Dwight snaps out of it and repeats back what the doctor told him, in a calm and measured tone. In the back of his mind, a faint memory surfaces of his first day at work, when he opened his desk drawer and a cloud of white fibers exploded into his face while Jim smirked at the camera
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Aug 2, 2021 17:55
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Jim and Michael spice up their marriage by including a furiously masturbating Dwight
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Aug 2, 2021 18:08
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Jim starts commenting on local news articles, each time commenting some bizarre nonsense such as "Wow, cancel culture much?" or "I don't pay my taxes for this!" or "Must be really nice for SOME PEOPLE, but not me. This is reverse racism in action!" Dwight is able to ignore this until he himself makes the news - for donating $20,000 to children's cancer research. Jim comments on the article "Why is this guy so interested in kids? Adrenochrome, anyone?" and uses a system of bots to upvote his own comment thousands of times. Jim smiles smugly as Dwight goes about his day, completely unaware of Jim's amazing post. Pam cries in her car instead of eating lunch.
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Aug 2, 2021 18:34
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Dwight wakes up in the Library of Babel. He knows Jim is to blame because all the books on every shelf are filled with page upon page of "Dwight sucks."
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Aug 2, 2021 18:37
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Michael forces the office to participate in a game of nerf assassin. Each person is assigned another to hunt and assassinate, with a grand prize of an iPod Shuffle. Even though they're supposed to keep the identity of their target secret, Jim shows Dwight that he's after him, and as his practiced hands start assembling an actual sniper rifle, grins. "Better start running buddy!"
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Aug 2, 2021 19:08
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Jim seduces Dwight's mom and marries her. Dwight's anger is not enough to overcome his respect for authority. Jim grounds Dwight for life.
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Aug 2, 2021 19:37
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Dwight's sales output is down because he starts daytrading dogecoin. Jim becomes jealous, so one day he comes into the office wearing a black leather trenchcoat and dark sunglasses. Dwight scoffs, and remarks that Halloween is still three months away. Jim smirks and cracks his knuckles, and begins furiously slamming his hands, open palm, into his keyboard and yelling "hacker man, hacker man, does everything hacker man can" Dwight is perplexed, and his attention is only broken by his phone buzzing. He brings his phone to his face and his mouth twists in horror. "My dogecoins! What did you do!" Jim replies, "oh nothing much, except hack into the dog corn central circuit city and virus the database." "That doesn't even make sense Jim! Dogecoin is a decentralized curre- wait, who are you?" "I am the Architect. I created dogecoin. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question" Jim suddenly rises into the air, arms outstretched, right knee raised. He hovers there for a moment, before extending his leg and swan kicking Dwight square in the dick. Dwight falls over in agony. Jim smirks and Wake Up by Rage Against The Machine starts playing, and Jim flies away leaving a cartoonish Jim shaped hole in the roof.
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Aug 3, 2021 00:53
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| # ? May 31, 2024 13:07 |
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Jim lights a cheddar cheese scented candle on his desk. When Dwight asks Jim to snuff it out because it smells awful, Jim says "sure" but instead picks up the candle and splashes hot melted wax on Dwight's shirt. "Oopsie daisy!" says Jim, as he mugs the camera
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Aug 3, 2021 00:58
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