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The ending of the game Yakuza 4 is hilarious for how many cliches they rattle in quick succession. The defeated bad guy is surrounded by the good guys. They neglect to deprive the bad guy of his gun. He shoots a good guy in the chest. The good guy had a bundle of money in his chest-pocket, stopping the bullet. The good guys leave the bad guy on the floor next to his gun, again. The bad guy shoots himself to avoid custody. Not to mention the other bad guy is betrayed by his henchman who shoots him. The henchman says he's pledged his loyalty to a third bad guy. The third bad guy promptly shoots the henchman. Of course it turns out the other bad guy was wearing a bulletproof vest and, because the good guys neglect to take his gun, he manages to shoot dead a good guy's loved-one. If anyone practiced proper gun-safety in this series the hero would have a lot less dead sidekicks.
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Aug 1, 2021 13:02
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Torquemada posted:Reminding me of the opening action scene in Cobra to establish the titular character’s badassness: despite having the bad guy cornered at gunpoint, Detective Cobra puts his gun away. When the villain makes to shoot him, Cobra has the time to throw a switchblade into him, re-draw his gun, and shoot the guy five times. He has like three one-liners in this scene alone. One day, someone will be able to figure out if Cobra was an action movie or a satire of action movies. This is not that day. 
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Aug 1, 2021 13:11
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exquisite tea posted:Similarly in action movies where the opponents start with a gun, then the second it gets knocked away they both forget about them entirely and start fistfighting. I would just... keep trying to shoot them with the gun, ya know. Alternatively, fistfight with the guns and have the best of both worlds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqQJOr4Rx5k&t=17s
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Aug 1, 2021 13:14
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Zaphod42 posted:This is like a subset of the general "people saying things during an action scene which they wouldn't have time to say or that nobody would be able to hear" problem. Most one-liners fall into that category. This is why commando is the best action movie. They get called out for this in the motel fight scene
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Aug 1, 2021 13:16
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:Are you suggesting that demons can't work for the DMV? someone hasn't seen Reaper
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Aug 1, 2021 13:50
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Len posted:Has anyone watched Caveat? A YouTuber I watch has been getting paid to talk Shudder and it sounded okay? It's on my list to check out the next time I spring for a month of the service but if it's unwatchable and bad I'll skip it I actually had it on my amc+ subscription - about half an hour in and it's pretty good. A little strange but I'd say it's definitely watchable. Nothing really irritating yet but this guy must really need that 200 bucks a day, because even though nothing too bad has really happened yet, it's a pretty big "caveat". I would have been out of there the first time the haunted kangaroo drum toy started its nonsense edit: started to lose me a bit in the middle but it picked up again toward the end. these two guys are way too chill about getting shot with crossbow bolts. Both of them just kind of stare in surprise at the girl. I'd at least say "hey, what'd you do that for?" or "ow", at least yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 15:24 on Aug 1, 2021 |
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Aug 1, 2021 14:35
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So I love Prince but Purple Rain is not a particularly good film outside of the musical numbers even though I still like it. Thing is... Prince is shown living in his parents' basement and never has a job in the entire movie. It's implied he's perhaps(?) on the cusp of stardom but I doubt the revenue from First Avenue gigs spread around 5 or 6 band members amounts to much. He and his band are never shown being signed to a record label or anything. So where did he get the custom motorcycle, all the makeup and all these bitching sequin laden clothes? For the entire group? Adding a thrift store scene, a yard sale raid or even showing Prince rooting through his mother's closet might have added something. The other thing that cracks me up about it is that every number he does brings down the loving house but the club manager is always on his rear end about how his stuff is lame and no one is into it or understands any of this weird music or some poo poo, as if he just completely sucks out loud. I can see The Time blowing him off the stage (because that really happened on several occasions) but we're supposed to believe that Appolonia Six totally owned the crowd and threatened Prince's status, given what we just saw and heard with Computer Blue, The Beautiful Ones or Let's Go Crazy? Lastly, the chalk line around his dad after the attempted suicide even though the father lived is pretty funny and I only recently just caught that mistake. Supposedly, they re-wrote the ending and made it so the dad survived and also added the hospital scene but forgot to remove the chalk line apparently.
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Aug 1, 2021 15:58
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Elissimpark posted:Alright, time to go murd...BATEGNU? Oh goddammit. Whelp, time to switch to a career jerking off ungulates.
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Aug 1, 2021 16:05
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Watched modok on Hulu, and it really bugged me that the entire finale setup and hook for season 2 was time travel, and how he's tried millions of times to work out how to do it specifically so he could go back and save his family, when they show him literally Kinda figured a dude who's 90% brain might have noticed but nope.
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Aug 1, 2021 16:12
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Memento posted:Jeepers Creepers from 2001 was good for that, if not much else. The Plucky Teenaged Protags run into the Impervious Mad Slasher in their Impala, knocking him down. Then they back over him again. Then drive over him forward again. Then back over him again. Then one more time forward before making their escape. Another example is the norwegian horror movie Cold Prey 2. The killer is shot with a shotgun and protagonist is like "let's shoot him a couple of times more, just to be sure".
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Aug 1, 2021 16:13
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Sunswipe posted:One day, someone will be able to figure out if Cobra was an action movie or a satire of action movies. This is not that day. I remember Roger Ebert reviewing Cobra and saying, "this movie has Stallone's best scene in bed." Cut to...clip of Sly in the back of a pickup truck firing a sub machine gun
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Aug 1, 2021 17:38
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The problem there is they didn't check. You have to keep going until it's paste, and then make sure the paste doesn't start reassembling into something. They didn't have time to do all that, they heard the director coming.
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Aug 1, 2021 17:49
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Alternatively, fistfight with the guns and have the best of both worlds: Man, when I haven’t seen equilibrium in a while I wonder why I ever liked that movie; then I see equilibrium and remember why I love that movie.
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Aug 1, 2021 17:57
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:Watched modok on Hulu, and it really bugged me that the entire finale setup and hook for season 2 was time travel, and how he's tried millions of times to work out how to do it specifically so he could go back and save his family, when they show him literally He's a machine designed only for killing, not a machine designed only for noticing.
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Aug 1, 2021 18:06
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exquisite tea posted:Similarly in action movies where the opponents start with a gun, then the second it gets knocked away they both forget about them entirely and start fistfighting. I would just... keep trying to shoot them with the gun, ya know. The other action movie one for me is when two skilled people are fighting and they are evenly matched, then the bad guy takes out a knife. And pretty much instantly gets his rear end kicked more. Now I'm not a special forces commando, but I'm pretty sure a knife is not a hindrance in hand to hand combat.
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Aug 1, 2021 18:21
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exquisite tea posted:Similarly in action movies where the opponents start with a gun, then the second it gets knocked away they both forget about them entirely and start fistfighting. I would just... keep trying to shoot them with the gun, ya know. Ghost Leviathan posted:I do recall some fights with characters brutally fighting over a single gun. I'm sure at least one ends with it turning out to be empty. Yeah I was gonna say on the flipside a lot of good action scenes do involve two people beating each other up trying to grab the gun that's fallen to the ground. I always especially liked those tense moments when you have a gun or knife and both people are grappling and trying to turn it on each other. Like arm wrestling to the death.
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Aug 1, 2021 18:42
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There are a few movies where a newly rich person hires an interior decorator (wall street, brewster's millions, blank check) and we're supposed to be impressed at how weird the rich people decorate their place, but it's all hideous, even by 80s/early 90s standards. Especially wallstreet - his apartment looked like a child with some arts and craft supplies decorated it. I'd pay not to live there.
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Aug 1, 2021 21:18
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Sunswipe posted:One day, someone will be able to figure out if Cobra was an action movie or a satire of action movies. This is not that day. Ah yes, 80’s roids and coke Stallone whose ego ran like a train over the entire cast and crew: a shoot notorious divided his time on the film between loving Brigitte Nielsen and overriding the director. Satire was not on the menu.
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Aug 1, 2021 21:22
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Stallone's not clever enough for satire. I think he enjoys doing dumb poo poo like eating pizza with scissors and I'm sure he can acknowledge that it's stupid, but he's not clever.
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Aug 1, 2021 21:27
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yeah I eat rear end posted:There are a few movies where a newly rich person hires an interior decorator (wall street, brewster's millions, blank check) and we're supposed to be impressed at how weird the rich people decorate their place, but it's all hideous, even by 80s/early 90s standards. Especially wallstreet - his apartment looked like a child with some arts and craft supplies decorated it. I'd pay not to live there. I've seen enough interior design shows and enough products of real interior designers to know that's 100% true to life.
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Aug 1, 2021 21:35
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I find it fascinating that modern high end interior design is about being as minimalist as possible when the average person likes showing off all their stuff.
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Aug 1, 2021 21:53
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Alternatively, fistfight with the guns and have the best of both worlds: The latest animated Resident Evil movie, of all things (Vendetta, I think) has a really good fight scene where two characters each have guns and are trying to shoot each other in close quarters. Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbcTtbXnOCo That movie actually has some pretty good fight scenes, including one where the heroes take on rooms full of zombies like they're John Wick, spinning around with quick movements and takedowns.
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Aug 1, 2021 22:14
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Ugly In The Morning posted:Man, when I haven’t seen equilibrium in a while I wonder why I ever liked that movie; then I see equilibrium and remember why I love that movie. I hated equilibrium because one guy I knew would run around yelling sense offence (I think?) At everyone until we watched it with him.
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Aug 1, 2021 22:15
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ianmacdo posted:The other action movie one for me is when two skilled people are fighting and they are evenly matched, then the bad guy takes out a knife. And pretty much instantly gets his rear end kicked more. When I was doing jujitsu I was told about this, when somebody has a weapon they will focus on using it as opposed to their whole body and basically lose some fighting ability. Just sounded like sensei wanted us to get stabbed
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Aug 1, 2021 22:26
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Fingerless Gloves posted:When I was doing jujitsu I was told about this, when somebody has a weapon they will focus on using it as opposed to their whole body and basically lose some fighting ability. Elderly Korean man who taught martial arts and could beat the ever living crap out of anyone younger and larger if needed was asked what to do when someone has a knife or gun on you, he said, "What ever they tell you to."
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Aug 1, 2021 23:54
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In Masters of the Universe: Revalation, at one point Teela and her sidekick who's name i forget are discussing going to Preternia and Subternia. These are, to put it bluntly, heaven and hell. However, the sidekick outright says "oh we're going to Heaven and Hell?" and it's just why the hell do you need this explaining? You live in this world, you should know what Preternia and Subternia are. They wouldn't even have those terms, because they are completely superfluous if Preternia and Subternia already exist the answer is kevin smith thinks we're idiots and is catholic i get it
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Aug 2, 2021 01:02
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Alternatively, fistfight with the guns and have the best of both worlds: Holy poo poo this is cringeworthy. What the gently caress.
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Aug 2, 2021 03:39
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Uh, actually its 
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Aug 2, 2021 03:52
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Baron von Eevl posted:Stallone's not clever enough for satire. I think he enjoys doing dumb poo poo like eating pizza with scissors and I'm sure he can acknowledge that it's stupid, but he's not clever. He did get tricked by Arnie into starring in 'Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot'. Hattie Masters posted:In Masters of the Universe: Revalation, at one point Teela and her sidekick who's name i forget are discussing going to Preternia and Subternia. These are, to put it bluntly, heaven and hell. However, the sidekick outright says "oh we're going to Heaven and Hell?" and it's just why the hell do you need this explaining? You live in this world, you should know what Preternia and Subternia are. They wouldn't even have those terms, because they are completely superfluous if Preternia and Subternia already exist It might make sense if it was Orko, who's specifically not originally from Eternia. Ghost Leviathan has a new favorite as of 04:10 on Aug 2, 2021 |
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Aug 2, 2021 04:08
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Speaking of guns in movies - the thing where two people fight over a gun (or knife) and are right up against each other and you hear the shot, but don't see who was killed for a moment. Yeah, that poo poo was played out 50 years ago and I don't know where we're still seeing that contrived bullshit now.
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Aug 2, 2021 04:13
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RCarr posted:Holy poo poo this is cringeworthy. What the gently caress. That's the worst choreographed fight scene in the movie cause not-Bale seems really bad at action scenes. The whole movie is dumb as bricks, but in the cheesiest possible way; and everything is stylized in a form over substance thing. And I love it. For example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XM3BsAAO8JI Like in a John Woo gunfight, being over the top is the point. The very idea of Gun-kata (movements that maximize the chance of hitting an enemy while minimising the return fire %) operates on the "you missed me cause I have an invisible shield" playground rules, and the whole movie is built around the same logic. The fact that the story backdrop is basically a 1984 super bleak/minimalist future fascist dystopia makes it even more insane.
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Aug 2, 2021 08:01
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Torquemada posted:Ah yes, 80’s roids and coke Stallone whose ego ran like a train over the entire cast and crew: a shoot notorious divided his time on the film between loving Brigitte Nielsen and overriding the director. Satire was not on the menu. It’s an amazing movie. So there’s this underground supremacist cult who keep killing random people, because “they are weak and only the strongest and smartest people deserve to rule”. Yet this seems mostly to involve ambushing one unsuspecting person with multiple people. Like a waitress at a diner who is closing up shop, late at night. And somehow they keep getting away with it, because the police has no idea what is going on. Brigitte Nielsen catches a glimp of the leader of this cult as she is passing by with a car. So they track her via the car plates, ambush her in a parking garage... and gently caress up. Yes, these amazing serial killers have the advantage and they still blow their shot. Now she is in the hospital and the police are aware of her. Cult leader dude tries to infiltrate with a disguise to kill her. Fails. Brigitte Nielsen gets taken outside of town to hide in a motel. But there’s an insider who gives away their location. Seemingly this whole cult arrives to take down this witness. About 30+ men arrive on motors with guns. Not subtle at all. These seemingly serial killers who killed dozens of people before without being noticed. Just because one person saw the face of their leader. This witness who wasn’t even in touch with the police until they first ambushed her and failed to kill her. Spoiler: they all die. I said it was amazing movie before, but it’s so loving dumb that it’s an insult to the audience. Odds are your expectations were low to begin with, but you deserve to something more from your dumb ‘80s action movie. Mierenneuker has a new favorite as of 08:47 on Aug 2, 2021 |
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Aug 2, 2021 08:40
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Ghost Leviathan posted:It might make sense if it was Orko, who's specifically not originally from Eternia. It was not Orko, it was the human lady who isn't Evil-Lyn. Also I think Orko makes a reference to a nursery rhyme from his home about Subternia? Idk there's the essence of something very good in MotU:R, buried under sub-par writing.
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Aug 2, 2021 08:53
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Mierenneuker posted:It’s an amazing movie. So there’s this underground supremacist cult who keep killing random people, because “they are weak and only the strongest and smartest people deserve to rule”. Yet this seems mostly to involve ambushing one unsuspecting person with multiple people. Like a waitress at a diner who is closing up shop, late at night. And somehow they keep getting away with it, because the police has no idea what is going on. To be fair that sounds a lot like libertarian/conservative social darwinism, which is always, ALWAYS pushed by the biggest hypocrites on the face of the earth
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Aug 2, 2021 08:55
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Wtf happened to pokemon? I have an 8 year old staying with me and we just watched an episode where one of Ash's friends caught a literal evil god like pokemon that's called Eternus or something and everyone kept referring to as The Darkest Day. In my days the most powerful pokemon were at least somewhat reasonable, big birds with elemental powers and psychic genetic experiments, not an angular eldritch being literally the size of a small city. Apparently you can dynamax (or something) pokemon to make them even bigger and more powerful now too. I asked him if he could now fight gym trainers and enter tournaments with a literal god now and he said yeah, but I guess that won't happen for narrative reasons. Goddamn, imagine training your regular rear end pokemon, being super proud you raised your little charmander to a powerful charizard so you can be competitive in a tournament, and this little 10 year old throws out a pokeball to release the harbinger of the apocalypse lol.
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Aug 2, 2021 09:01
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That Italian Guy posted:That's the worst choreographed fight scene in the movie cause not-Bale seems really bad at action scenes. Excuse you, that's Angus Macfadyen, aka Robert the Bruce from Braveheart. Taeke posted:Wtf happened to pokemon? Anime and bad decisions.
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Aug 2, 2021 09:10
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Ghost Leviathan posted:To be fair that sounds a lot like libertarian/conservative social darwinism, which is always, ALWAYS pushed by the biggest hypocrites on the face of the earth The cult’s motivations are mostly mentioned by the guy holding hostages in the intro (before Cobra takes him down). If you didn’t see the intro, you would have no idea that these serial killers have any motives beyond some sort of addiction to killing people. You would also have no idea that this is cult that features more people that the trio you see on screen. You really wonder why there are dozens of people who suddenly show up in the finale of the movie. Source: me, who watched the movie on TV a month ago and missed the intro. It’s not until I read the synopsis on wikipedia afterwards that the movie made a bit more sense (an incredibly tiny bit). Mierenneuker has a new favorite as of 09:48 on Aug 2, 2021 |
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Aug 2, 2021 09:10
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The third Pokemon generation is about a pair of ecoterrorist groups who want to alter the geography of the earth using the Pokemon equivalents of Leviathan and Behemoth, and the fourth gen introduced the creator of the universe strongly implied to have been the target of a Scientology-esque Cthulhu cult whose founder wanted to use its power to remake the universe in his image. And that's like 20 years old by now and is getting a remake. Pokemon turning Kaiju-sized is a new gimmick but the rest is bog standard.
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Aug 2, 2021 09:11
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Taeke posted:Wtf happened to pokemon? 
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Aug 2, 2021 09:11
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Who wouldn’t want to have god in a master ball? Have some Pokedex entries for Arceus. Diamond It is described in mythology as the Pokémon that shaped the universe with its 1,000 arms. Pearl It is told in mythology that this Pokémon was born before the universe even existed. Platinum It is told throughout ancient times in Sinnoh as the Pokémon who shaped Sinnoh and created heaven. HeartGold / SoulSilver According to the legends of Sinnoh, this Pokémon emerged from an egg and shaped all there is in this world. Black / White It is said to have emerged from an egg in a place where there was nothing, then shaped the world.
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Aug 2, 2021 09:17
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