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Jim takes huge rips and blows fat clouds, hotboxing the entire office
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Aug 3, 2021 01:01
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| # ? May 29, 2024 05:31 |
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jim snakes a tendril into dwight's ear, invading his body with fungal spores that breed and kill him via murcomyosis. stray spores get inhaled by Meredith, who
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Aug 3, 2021 01:03
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While Dwight is using the bathroom, Jim lights an M-80 and drops it down another toilet, causing all the toilet water to violently explode out of all the remaining toilets
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Aug 3, 2021 01:05
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During the lunch break Jim drains Dwight's brake fluid and replaces it with Mountain Dew Baha Blast
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Aug 3, 2021 01:07
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Jim hides behind a wall and when Dwight enters the cafeteria, Jim jumps out and screams "boo!" giving Dwight quite the startle
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Aug 3, 2021 01:08
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It's Dwight's first day as a narc and he gets assigned to Detective Jim Halpart. Jim is driving and offers Dwight a hit of weed that they earlier stole from a couple college kids driving a bug. Dwight laughs nervously and turns down the weed, causing Jim to slam the breaks and point a gun to Dwight's temple. "Yeah that's right mother fucker, you turn down poo poo on the street you're a dead man." "Give me that. I'll do it" Dwight says. Dwight takes the pipe and lights up, to Jim's amusement. "Man up! Finish that poo poo!" Jim goads Dwight. "Man the gently caress up. Ah ha. Ha ha ha. My man. My man." Dwight finishes the bowl, and Jim remark "didn't know you liked getting wet though." Dwight replies "wait what" and Jim says "you just smoked PCP" and mugs the camera
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Aug 3, 2021 01:12
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Jim hypnotizes Dwight and commands him that when he hears or reads the word paper he must eat a sheet of paper or if he hears the word photocopier he must stand up , drop his pants and shout PAPER JAM while shoving a ream of paper up his rear end. Meredith has to be taken to the hospital for an unrelated masturbation accident involving a leprechaun.
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Aug 3, 2021 01:16
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Jim hides a lethal amount of thallium in Dwight's cell phone
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Aug 3, 2021 01:20
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Dwight finds Jim, destitute, on the streets of Old Town Scrantonville. Jim explains that he leveraged his pro sports memorabilia/social media company to enter a number of lucrative deals with NFT companies, only to realize too late that they had signed over the actual, physical memorabilia rights in exchange for a useless printout with a url pointing to a blockchain section. Left without a choice, Dwight gives him $50. Jim mugs Dwight.
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Aug 3, 2021 01:48
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Jim just, lol he just spits right in Dwight's eye. Jim has aids and now Dwight has aids. jim mugs camera.
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Aug 3, 2021 02:15
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Jim informs Dwight that he can't be the best man at his wedding as Shrute traditions say the best man has to be older, so he surprises him by having Bill Cosby take his place. Dwight and Michael are both delighted. Meredith has to be taken to the hospital. Bill Cosby offers to drive.
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Aug 3, 2021 14:31
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Two large men show up at the office one day, look around, and say "Is that him?" as they nod at Dwight. Jim nods back at them and the two men brutally attack Dwight while the rest of the office looks on in silent horror. Dwight is left bloody and broken on the floor as the two men leave while Jim waves happily at them. A week later, Dwight has mostly recovered and is sitting at work. This time, 4 men show up at the door, nod at Dwight, and Jim gives the signal again. Another brutal beating occurs. The following week, 16 men attack Dwight. This continues until, a year later, the door opens and a nearly infinite stream of men swarm into the office and batter Dwight, leaving him nearly dead on the floor. Angela finally asks Jim why the hell he's doing this, but Jim just smugly says it's "exponentially obvious" as he mugs for the camera.
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Aug 3, 2021 15:00
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Dignity Van Houten posted:Jim just, lol he just spits right in Dwight's eye. Jim has aids and now Dwight has aids. jim mugs camera. Jim sobers up the next day and reads about the transmissibility of HIV, and learns that it's virtually impossible to transmit the virus through saliva. So that night Jim sneaks into Dwight's bedroom and sticks him with a dirty needle
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Aug 3, 2021 17:24
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Jim guilts Pam into dropping out of art school. Dwight feels sad watching her give up on her dreams.
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Aug 4, 2021 12:52
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Jim brings a giant ant farm into the office but trips and falls, shattering the glass case and freeing the ants. When Kevin argues that Jim's stealing his "chili bit", Jim sends his trained ants to devour him from the inside-out and wear him like a suit. Dwight is late showing up to work (He was donating blood) and misses all of this. He says hi to "Kevin" and shakes his hand as he does every morning, causing the skin-suit to begin expelling ants from every orifice. Dwight screams in horror as Jim mugs for the camera.
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Aug 4, 2021 14:10
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Jim spends hours in the basement training ants to prank Dwight while Pam drinks wine upstairs.
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Aug 4, 2021 14:24
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Jim comes into the office wearing a backwards hat, dark glasses, and a clock on a chain around his neck. He puts a boom box on the desk and starts playing hardcore, uncensored gangsta rap at full volume. Dwight complains that the music makes his calls with clients difficult and seems unprofessional. Jim immediately launches himself into Michael’s office and loudly announces that Dwight is discriminating against marginalized groups. Michael asks Stanley what should be done, and Stanley replies that Jim should shut off the music. Jim dramatically turns on Stanley, arguing that “cancel culture” has gone too far. Michael, confused by all of this and fearing triggering yet another mandatory training, comes up with a compromise solution. Dwight is forced to wear headphones blasting early 90s rap into his ears all day, but the rest of the office must be silent. Later that day, the camera catches Dwight bumping his head and making “rat-a-tat-tat” gun motions with his fingers. Jim mugs the camera.
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Aug 4, 2021 16:24
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In an effort to boost company morale, Michael lets everyone submit their ideas for a fun team-building exercise. He'll choose one randomly from the submissions. Michael's idea box is stuffed with submissions from everyone in the office, from Kevin's idea to visit Willy Wonka's factory to Angela's submission that just says "CHURCH". However, all of this is for naught as Jim sneaks into the office one night, destroys all of the other submissions, and then stuffs the box with his idea. Michael puts his hand in the box ("That's what she said", he adds) and pulls out a piece of paper stained with grease and what looks like blood. PROM WHERE JIM AND PAM ARE KING AND QUEEN As such, the office spends the next week planning the event, which takes place at a local firehall. The party planning committee does incredible work decorating the place and makes it look like an actual prom. Michael, as per usual, goes full bore with this and gets a fancy catering, open bar, and opens the prom to the friends and family of the Dunder Mifflin crew. The night before the prom, Angela and Dwight lay in bed together. Dwight lays silently staring at the ceiling, and Angela asks what's wrong. Dwight just says one name, Jim. The first ever Dunder Mifflin Scranton Prom begins and is a huge hit. Everyone enjoys the chance to dress up, enjoy free food and drink, and have fun with their friends and family. Even Dwight is able to let his guard down and have fun, dancing the night away with Angela and wowing everyone else with his juggling skills, at one point getting 7 forks, 3 spoons, and two flower vases into the air. Michael eventually gathers everyone together to crown the Prom King and Queen, and Dwight catches up to Jim before it happens. Jim's dead eyes stare right through Dwight and it looks as if Pam's been crying. Dwight is suddenly sure that something terrible is about to happen, so he rushes to get everyone out of the building. Before he can, though, the doors lock themselves. Jim and Pam take the stage and start dancing to Jim's favorite song, "Who Let the Dogs Out?" As they dance, Dwight sees a hooded figure untie a rope which drops a bucket on Pam's head. Pam falls to the ground unmoving as the bucket spills it contents all over Jim and the floor around him. Dwight knows it by the smell - blood. Kevin starts screaming that he's already seen this movie and Jim stares at him. Kevin starts to choke and grabs his throat as he falls to the ground, gasping for air. Dwight chases after the hooded figure and tackles him, removing his hood to reveal Jim. The hooded Jim smiles smugly at Dwight and says "Betcha didn't see this one coming, huh?" Dwight knocks him out and returns to the dance floor to deal with Jim's telekinetic rampage. However, it's far too late as the entire building is on fire and Jim has locked the doors and windows with his mental powers. Dwight begs Jim, explaining that this was all orchestrated by another version of Jim. The blood-covered Jim smiles smugly at Dwight and says "Yeah, IDIOT, who do you think asked him to do it?" A confused Dwight sits at his table and enjoys a final drink as the building burns down around him and Jim telekinetically mugs for the camera.
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Aug 4, 2021 17:52
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Jim sits down and actually watches a whole season of Battlestar Galactica, hoping to be more incisive in his mocking of the show. Instead he finds himself engrossed in the sci-fi show. Jim and Dwight bond over Jim's newfound love of live action sci-fi shows.
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Aug 4, 2021 18:29
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Jim closes a sale with a big client over the phone, and signs off by saying, “Here at Dunder-Mifflin, you can’t beet our prices!” Dwight knows that Jim is making a pun at his expense, but nobody else ever notices, and he can never prove it. Jim smirks at Dwight.
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Aug 4, 2021 18:32
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Jim makes a boy out of balloons and calls it Dwight causing Dwight to furrow his brow and say "Wait, haven't we done this one?" Jim looks up to ceiling and tries to think "I, uh, no? I don't know. It seems obvious doesn't it but I don't remember doing it. Pam, did we do the whole reverse balloon boy bit before?" Pam opens up a document on her computer and starts scanning it. "I can't find anything but there's a lot here. Uh... No! I'm going to say no we definitely haven't! Unless we have." Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Aug 4, 2021 |
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Aug 4, 2021 19:13
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Jim starts proudly strutting around the office. When Dwight asks him what's going on, Jim beams a huge smile and explains that he just "made a number 2 in the toilet for the first time". Dwight is momentarily stunned at this, wondering if Jim has just revealed some deep secret that might explain many of his strange behaviors. Later, Dwight asks Pam if Jim struggles with things like using the bathroom. Pam starts crying and explains that Dwight just "triggered the prank" by asking that question. Dwight asks what she means but it's too late, he can already hear massive gears turning inside the walls of Dunder Mifflin.
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Aug 4, 2021 19:50
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Jim makes tender love to each and every beet in Dwight's field over the course of many hot summer nights. When Dwight finally makes his harvest, each beet mugs into the camera with a perfect replica of Jim's face.
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Aug 4, 2021 20:06
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Jim tattoos onto Dwight's face a 1:1 image of Jim's face mugging at the camera. Jim mugs at the camera. Dwight can do nothing else.
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Aug 4, 2021 20:36
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Dwight shows up and instead of Jim at the desk across from him it's an empty bottle of Jim Beam. Dwight looks at it for a moment and snidely says "You're drunk"
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Aug 4, 2021 21:10
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Jim links all of Dwight's paper clips into one long chain.
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Aug 4, 2021 21:27
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fahking diabolical
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Aug 4, 2021 21:37
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At Dwight’s birthday party, Jim climbs out of the Schrute homestead’s attic window, ecstatically shouts "It’s all for you, Dwight!" and jumps with a noose around his neck, producing a sickening crack and a corpse dripping urine. Dwight looks on impassively as Mose frantically tries to cover Dwight’s eyes. Meredith suffers a stroke. Jim’s body smirks at nothing in particular.
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Aug 4, 2021 21:43
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At Dwight’s birthday party, Jim drunkenly declares his undying love for Dwight, and slurs “this guy, man, I’ve never known a dude who could take a prank better. You’re a great friend, Dwight. I love you, man. You’re beautiful!” Angela gets mad at Dwight for being in an “unnatural relationship” with Jim.
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Aug 4, 2021 22:00
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Jim starts calling Dwight “balloon boy.” Dwight receives an angry cease and desist letter from the original Balloon Boy.
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Aug 4, 2021 23:47
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Jim starts calling Dwight “balloon boy.” At Dwight’s birthday party, Jim brings 42 balloons to commemorate each year of Dwight’s life. As Dwight blows out the candles on his cake, Meredith makes a joke saying “wish you were younger!” And the entire office good naturedly chuckles. Jim starts to glower at Dwight and pulls out a pin. He pops one of the balloons that he brought. Dwight says, “You know what? I don’t feel a day over 41!” Everyone laughs, but Jim just looks angrier. He pops another balloon. Over the next hour, Dwight opens presents and everyone relaxes a little. It’s been a long year, and it feels good. Dwight gives a compelling speech that everyone listens to, tears in their eyes, about perseverance as staying close with family and friends in difficult times. He ends by saying, “I wish I could erase the entire last year, but of course I can’t, yet still…” “Oh, CAN’T YOU?!” Shouts Jim, rising to his feet. He pops a few more balloons. Suddenly Dwight is aware that he feels stronger, healthier. He glances in the mirror and sees that he looks like he did when he joined Dunder Mifflin 15 years ago. Jim pops a few more balloons and people start to notice the change. With every balloon popped, Dwight becomes one year younger. He becomes a teenager, shouting desperately at Jim to stop. Jim, drunk with power, keeps popping balloons. There are only a few left. Dwight is now a child, uncomprehending and terrified of the sudden changes wrought upon his body. Jim ignores the screams of terror from his coworkers as he keeps popping balloons. Dwight becomes a baby, crying and screaming. There is only one balloon left. The screams stop and becomes a pregnant pause, a sickening quiet, broken only by the gentle cooing of baby Dwight. Jim picks up the baby, holds him in his arms like a proud father. Then he pops the last balloon. Dwight disappears. Jim mugs the camera while everyone around him cries and yells in anguish.
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Aug 5, 2021 00:10
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Jim takes and eats Dwight's bagged lunch from the office fridge despite the fact it was clearly labelled.
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Aug 5, 2021 04:47
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Jim uses his shrinking powers on Dwight's shoes to make them one size smaller. Every time he notices Dwight suffering discomfort, he mugs for the camera.
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Aug 5, 2021 10:35
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During the night, as Dwight sleeps, Jim funnels a live eel up his rear end in a top hat. Up Jim's rear end in a top hat. It's a prank on Dwight, aomehow
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Aug 5, 2021 10:54
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That’s Jim’s hasty explanation every time Pam walks in on him doing something weird. “Uh, uh, I’m pranking Dwight in here! Get out!”
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Aug 5, 2021 10:59
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Jim says he needs to go downstairs to grab something, then steps behind his desk and mimes walking down. Michael, eager to get in on the fun, does the same thing. However, after 15 minutes, Michael still hasn't popped his head up. Dwight walks behind the desk but there's no Jim or Michael. Suddenly, Michael's scream rings through the office. It sounds far away and has a strange echo to it, as if it's a recording of his voice taken inside a huge building. Dwight asks Michael where he is, and Michael responds "Oh God, it's never ending, I can't even see the walls." and starts screaming again. After his scream dies away, it's silence. Dwight calls for Michael again but there's no response. Dwight then calls for Jim, but there's no reply either. The office is shut down as the fire department tears the walls and floor apart to try and find Michael and Jim, but they are unsuccessful and both men are listed as missing persons. 3 days later, Dwight is working at his desk when he hears a tapping noise coming from the wall. As he's walking over to investigate, the drywall crumbles in front of him and Michael tumbles out. Michael is now white-haired and has a long beard, his clothes are rags that hang loosely on his skeletal body. Dwight grabs him and holds him, and his body feels small and frail. Dwight asks him what happens and Michael looks at him with two milky, blind eyes and explains that he was "in there for decades". As Dwight is dialing 911 he feels an arm grasp him around the ankle. It's Jim, who starts pulling Dwight under his desk. Dwight begs for him to stop but it's too late, Jim's wiry muscles tense and he pulls harder. Dwight is dragged into the infinite expanse as Jim mugs for the camera.
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Aug 5, 2021 12:50
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Jim pours Jim Beam on his dick and Meredith starts giving him a blowjob. Pam walks in and Jim says "Send Dwight in here this is gonna freak him out, this is a great prank"
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Aug 5, 2021 13:09
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Jim explains to Pam that the best way to prank Dwight is by synthesizing ricin from a few castor beans. He explains that in the 1970s, operatives from the KGB modified an umbrella to deliver a dose of ricin no larger than the tip of a pen into the leg of a political dissident, and three days later that man had died of what appeared to be natural causes. Jim and Pam create the ricin but are torn on how to deliver the fatal dose. Jim suggests they coat some crystal meth explaining that Dwight "...will snort anything you put in front of him." Their plans are thwarted though when Dwight kidnaps the two of them later that evening, forcing them to drive at gunpoint to a safehouse far out in the New Mexico desert.
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Aug 5, 2021 14:41
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The office is stunned when Dwight points a finger at Jim's shirt, tells him that he's got a stain, and Jim instinctively looks down. Dwight then quickly flicks his finger upwards, taps Jim's nose, and jokingly says "Gotcha!" There is silence for a long time, then Stanley starts laughing. The rest of the office quickly joins in, finally feeling as if Jim's tyrannical reign of pranking has been broken. Jim looks around, tears welling in his eyes, and weakly tries to prank Dwight by telling him his shoes are untied. Dwight retorts that he's wearing loafers and Jim falls backwards as if shot. The office is still laughing as Jim crawls on the floor, desperately heading towards Toby, who he views as the weakest person in the office. Jim is covered in sweat and tears and asks Toby if his refrigerator is running. Toby looks at him and responds that he already caught it, causing Jim to collapse in a heap. Pam laughs at Toby's retort, looking happy for the first time in years. Jim slowly stands up. He looks very small now, very pathetic and sad. Dwight tells him to come sit down and forget about the pranks, and when he does, a whoopie cushion goes off. Michael bursts into laughter, setting off another chain reaction of laughter across the office. The tables have finally turned, and Jim's reign of terror is over. Jim stands up and hobbles out the front door silently. 5 years later, the office has changed in a few ways. Toby and Pam are now happily married, Dwight and Michael's combined leadership has turned the Scranton branch into the most successful branch in Dunder Mifflin's history. More importantly, Dwight's efforts have turned Dunder Mifflin into one of the most environmentally friendly companies in history and one with a massive charitable wing dedicated to bettering the lives of underprivileged people around the world. Also, Kevin died after forgetting to breathe. Dwight is filling out some paperwork when he hears a window shatter. He steps up to see what happened and is greeted by a tiny blue creature that looks like a cross between a koala and an alligator. Dwight is left speechless as the creature stands up, revealing that it's wearing business casual attire. Wait, Dwight realizes, this is what Jim was wearing on his last day here. Loosely tied tie, blue shirt with the top two buttons unbuttoned, and brown khakis. Is this... is this Jim? The creature dives at Oscar and gives him a wedgie, then quickly shifts it to an atomic wedgie. It lets out a squeal that almost sounds triumphant to Dwight. Before Dwight can process any of this, the front door is kicked down and a 12 foot long yellow earthworm as thick as a firehose squirms in. This creature is also wearing what Jim was wearing on his final day, but Dwight realizes that it's more like a uniform, as the worm's version has no sleeves. The worm bursts into Michael's office and then trips Michael with its tail before letting out a "laugh" that sounds more like a bowl of soup sloshing around. With this, Jim himself steps into the doorframe he kicked down earlier. He looks older and has a scar running down his cheek, but is otherwise mostly the same. He looks at Pam, nods, and then a monkey-like creature in a Jim-uniform appears behind her in a cloud of smoke. This creature has a dozen long, gangly arms and it uses them to make bunny ears and moose ears behind Pam while using another set of arms to repeatedly take pictures of her. Jim smiles and speaks for the first time, saying simply "Jeez Pam, take pictures much?" Dwight reaches for the weapons he keeps under his desk but pulls his hand away when he feels a sting. As he does, he sees a tiny green spider on his hand, also dressed in a Jim-uniform. The spider also has three heads that look up at Dwight with human eyes and smile, smugly, with human mouths. "You thought you could prank me, people? I'm Jim Halpert, I control the pranking. And I'd like to introduce you to the Halpert Force. These are the greatest pranksters in the universe, and they all work for me." Dwight's hand is slowly being covered with a yellow pus from the sting, but Dwight realizes with horror that it's actually yellow gelatin oozing from him. His hand is being coated in gelatin. "CLASSIC! What a classic prank! I love this little guy like you wouldn't believe" says Jim as more and more monsters storm into the office. No-one is left unpranked. Stanley's crossword puzzle is replaced with one where all the answers are "STANLEY STINKS". Angela's desk is covered in mousetraps. Michael now has male genitalia drawn on his forehead (and he has a conference call in 15 minutes). Pam and Toby are given a "Wedding gift" that turns out to be a bunch of fake snakes that shoot out at them while Jim laughs. "Let's go, people. We have a lot more people to prank!" says Jim and his followers file behind him and follow him outside. Dwight looks out the window and sees Jim leading them into the back of a series of rental vans (the monkey guy and the worm are poorly driving two of the vans), then driving off. At one point Jim is stuck trying to merge into traffic and Dwight sees him angrily tap the the side of his van before someone gives him a break. The office is sitting in stunned silence until Andy finally asks if that was "really weird, even for Jim". Everyone agrees and Michael sends everyone home early. Dwight gets his gelatin hand checked out and he's totally fine, although the doctors can't explain what happened and ask him to avoid eating gelatin for a few days. Dwight says that's no problem as he stopped eating gelatin after the stapler prank anyway. As Dwight drives home he sees Jim and the entire Halpert Force throwing eggs at the side of his barn. When he gets close they all run off into the woods, dropping the cartons of eggs behind them. Dwight sighs and Jim and a dozen monsters from across the universe mug for the camera. A Fancy Hat fucked around with this message at 14:56 on Aug 5, 2021 |
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Aug 5, 2021 14:52
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| # ? May 29, 2024 05:31 |
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Dwight comes to visit Jim at the insane asylum, where Jim has been imprisoned for six long years. Jim is chained to the floor in the center of a plexiglass cube. He smirks when Dwight enters the outer chamber. Dwight steps up to the tiny speaking holes in the glass. “There’s a new prankster on the loose,” says Dwight. “Like nothing we’ve ever seen. We need your help to catch them.” Jim mugs at the security camera in the ceiling.
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Aug 5, 2021 18:35
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