Baron von Eevl posted:

My windshield's in my crack.

Captain Monkey posted:

That’s one way to cure flatulence.

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

We should just host the Olympic War Games every 4 years: every country gets a certain number of soldiers, tanks, missiles, planes, trucks, self-propelled guns, and other weapons systems, and fights for two weeks to see who can control the most of Australia. Points are awarded on how many of the enemy you kill, how many explosions you do, how much of Australia you control, and how few civilians you accidentally murder. But it's always Australia. Every four years Australia.

OwlFancier posted:

I don't think you could get the emu to sit on the podium.

TinTower posted:

Relatedly: I was actually rather surprised to find out that the Filet-o-Fish isn't actually halal certified (because the vegetable oil isn't filtered).

Zero_Grade posted:

drat, this ruins the joke I heard once about how the Filet-o-Fish was the key item in solving Abrahamic religion quarrels, because it's the one thing on the menu that Catholics, Jews, and Muslims can all agree on.

Cocaine Bear posted:

You're thinking of big butts.

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

Again, I’m agreeing with you: Ripley’s head should have slammed into the window, because we are presuming extreme acceleration.

Because it is impossible for presumptions to ever be wrong, the fact that the film doesn’t match our presumption means that Ripley must have been transported to some sort of dream realm at the moment she pressed the button.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Payndz posted:

YAAAAAAAWN

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

This made me lol irl

ben shapino posted:

I want to put SMG in my pocket and have him write tiny little pedantic posts all day long on a tiny computer

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

I really wish JKR wasn't a reprehensible rear end in a top hat bc between her bad finale, podcast, and this thread, I now think of "Snape-shaped hole" every other day and cackle at it. Him flying away flapping his cape like a bat and the window hole has even his hair as part of it and he has to fly away like a literal bat flapping crazily while he's bleeding all over from diving through a window

You almost gotta hand it to her

***** do not hand it to her JK is one of the most garbage people on earth

Brofessor Slayton posted:

Her atrocious politics have left a Snape-shaped hole in my heart.

ben shapino posted:

I want to put SMG in my pocket and have him write tiny little pedantic posts all day long on a tiny computer

Kennel posted:

Maybe Grovehaus was procedurally generated all along.

Dareon posted:

Grover's training data was just insufficient. And he pulled a few of those tricks where the instructions were insufficiently robust and the AI found clever shortcuts. Like the one that realized its output would be compared to a specific file to determine success, then deleted that file and output nothing, which matched the now nonexistent file.

RFC2324 posted:

Ok, but what led to BeatmasterJs obviously machine generated taste?

Remember, in addition to the bathroom he posted a pic of his bedroom and it looked like a cheap motel

CannonFodder posted:

Rooms2Go/Ikea(!earth tones)$$(! )

Serge Painsbourg posted:

Cartoon Man posted:

rodbeard posted:

Scientists had to end the experiment early to avoid going double blind.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it.

Inceltown posted:

Skulk Hogan posted:

Isnt this from Austin Powers?

ultrafilter posted:

Darkrenown posted:

My Xenonauts story is I couldn't figure out how to heal a wounded troop after rushing over a dude with a medikit. Eventually I tried pressing M and found this was actually the hotkey for Melee when my medic pistol-whipped my casualty to death.

Bogart posted:

It’s called triage.

EorayMel posted:

I cannot find the specific post, almost certainly in TFR, about how a goon's wife/cousin/wife's cousin bought him an FN FAL and he used it in conjunction with spotlighting deer on his farm(shining blindingly bright lights at animals to stun them for easy point blank shots as they stare and unable to process what's happening) while talking about how Chairman Mao was right in that political power flowed down the barrel of a gun and it was "very exciting" to see a deer thoughtlessly stare and flicking its big dumb ears as it was chewing its cud while lining up sights on a 60-year-old battle rifle from a jeep.

So I will just leave the above what I typed out as a reasonable facsimile of the original post that I know for a fact exist/exists/existed here

aioli is just mayo posted:

The other day my redneck friend called me and told me he preemptively had himself and myself added to a farmer's deer damage permits.

There are untold numbers of deer in my mostly rural county and they gobble up all the corn that we need for silage for cows, so if you have deer damage, you call fish and game and they send an inspector out to assess the damage. Well, the farmer's umpteen acres of corn were heavily damaged, so a two month all you can murder (without antlers) permit was issued.

These permits allow "unsporting" methodology, such as spotlighting. Spotlighting is really easy. Deer are dumb as poo poo and will stare into your truck headlights as you pile out (no shooting while touching the vehicle, even with a permit) and blast away. Because this takes place at night, near dense as gently caress corn fields, headshots are the shot du jour. You don't want to go chasing a bleeding deer through the corn, because it's difficult and will damage the crop.

A wide variety of weaponry was used, from a little .243 rifle to a mighty 7.62x51 FN-FAL a goon gave my wife as a wedding present. It is very exciting to see a stupid deer look at you, absent-mindedly chewing its food, flicking its big dumb ears back and forth. I didn't get a boner, but I could see how you could as I emptied a 20 round magazine through a 60 year old battle rifle. Mao said political power flows from the barrel of a gun, and he was right. We filled the back of a big farm pickup truck with dead does and button bucks (juvenile male deer who do not have antlers), and, upon taking the best meat for ourselves, gave the rest to our and the farmers neighbors. Such pillars of the community we were, bringing meat to the mostly destitute people of the area. Actually, my friend, who is also destitute, ended up trading quite a few pounds of meat for cigarettes.

Deer are like pigeons. They breed quickly and run around everywhere, taking food out of hard-working Holstein and Angus cow's mouths. Our cool late summer's night slaughter conservated the PISS out of those deer and some cows and a skunk we nearly ran over but didn't.

Danaru posted:

So wait, does the deer damage permit let you hundreds antlerless deer as well, or does it ONLY let you hunt deer without antlers?

Yes this is the point I'm confused on, also hot drat I'd love a freezer full of venison

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Only antlerless

SerthVarnee posted:

So I've been looking to adopt a dog to keep my current one company. While this guy didn't fit the criteria to be an option for me, I just wanted to show you his majestic ears anyways.

https://hundarutanhem.se/hundar/arys-0430/

Just look at those ears...

Captain Invictus posted:

is that natural? what the hell lol

Jay Rust posted:

Al Cu Ad Solte posted:

There needs to be a word for a simultaneous laugh/groan.

Dodgeball posted:

You've got either "loan" or "graph." Take your pick.

freeedr posted:

poo poo. I have to take graph. No way I’d qualify for loan.

quote:

Our cool late summer's night slaughter conservated the PISS out of those deer and some cows and a skunk we nearly ran over but didn't.

Outrail posted:

Uh, I can't be reading this right. Did they shoot up some of their own cows?

Inceltown posted:

flavor.flv posted:

Imagine taking a poo poo the size of your own leg. Not just length either, it's as thick all the way down as your thigh at its widest point. You wrestle this monster for what seems like centuries and it's not even breaking. You have to start waddling forward because at this point it's pushing you just as hard as you're pushing it and you don't have the strength to resist anymore

Finally, the last of it slithers free, off to be worshipped as a god by a tribe of nomads on a desert planet. You're fifty pounds lighter, eight belt loops thinner and you don't know if your ring is ever going to recover or if you need to track down Kirk "Goatman" Johnson to get recommendations for the best brand of bathtub drain plugs to keep your bowel movements from dribbling out unimpeded for the rest of your life

You've just fought the battle of your life. Thor and Hercules couldn't have taken on this serpent with the best CGI a billion dollars of Disney money could buy. You're a hero. You're a god. And as you're lying on the floor basking in the glory of your greatest accomplishment, you realize that nobody will ever know

Outrail posted:

Uh, I can't be reading this right. Did they shoot up some of their own cows?