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I report every single weirdo HR request as phishing then don't do them.
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Aug 5, 2021 02:08
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A Covid lockdown saga from 2020. Health and safety: The quarterly floor health and safety report is due; please inspect your floor to confirm it meets the following criteria. Floor reps (including me): we are all working from home, what should we do instead? H&S: complete that floor report. FR: Okay, but we haven't been on the floor all quarter. H&S: Someone needs to come in and do it. FR: You told us we can't come in at this time. Are we allowed to state that? H&S: if it isn't completed by X date you will be non-compliant. FR: But we aren't allowed to enter the building see the attached memo from yourselves telling us this. Can you give us special sign-off to come in? H&S: We can't let you in, only senior leadership can enter the building. FR: Can our manager complete the report. H&S: No, it has to be the official representatives. (at this stage we just escalated to our senior leadership team who called their team and the nonsense was stopped).
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Aug 5, 2021 02:31
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I run my company's anti-phishing program, and aside from that one time I got our general counsel to click on a phish from Bob Loblaw, Esq., the high point is when I get to yell at HR for their terrible, terrible emails.
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Aug 5, 2021 02:36
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ElHuevoGrande posted:I run my company's anti-phishing program, and aside from that one time I got our general counsel to click on a phish from Bob Loblaw, Esq., the high point is when I get to yell at HR for their terrible, terrible emails. Thank you for your service
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Aug 5, 2021 02:56
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Monday: Them: "Hi, does this piece of equipment need a terminal? Please check for us." Me: "Yes, for reason A and B, so we should get one ordered, just let me know which serial number from the list we gave you that want and I'll send you the corresponding terminal in its box" Tuesday: Them: "Hi, can you confirm that this equipment needs a terminal?" Me: "Yes, but you need to choose a serial number, as we discussed yesterday in this email. Please do so. *attaches previous email*" Today: Them: "Here is the list of terminals that we need" (is missing the one we were talking about the past two days) Me: *Calls their department, no one picks up* Me: "Uh, hi, just checking in... you never responded to my email yesterday or my phone call earlier today... I still need you to choose a serial from the list for that equipment we've been talking about. As I already shipped everything else for the day, I'm heading back home and it will go out the next time I'm at the office" Them: "Hi, does this piece of equipment need a terminal? Please check for us." -fin Finally my boss stepped in before I could respond and was like "call me and I'll get you a terminal" because I think he could feel the frustration building up in my responses. Like, loving CHRIST man. I don't know what the gently caress you want, I am not prescient or clairvoyant and I can't read minds. Just tell me what you want and I will ship it to you. loving hell.
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Aug 5, 2021 04:24
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Sounds to me like they didn’t know what they were doing and came to you for your expertise and advice. You don’t need to be psychic to see that they don’t know enough about the subject and that you could have picked a terminal for them.
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Aug 5, 2021 06:40
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after twelve years with my company, my boss's boss's boss helpfully informed me two weeks ago that i would be laid off in august. he said it was because i was switching between too many roles and different product deployments on projects - neither of which i have any control over in the slightest, which he knows - and that my "performance just wasn't up to snuff", despite several years of stellar annual reviews and receiving glowing and thankful emails from high-level executives from a household-name-famous client i'd delivered a project to at 2am the night before literally during the call i was having with him. the truth of the matter is that the entire company has been moving towards a business model that doesn't really require my position, and more than anything i was loving insulted that he tried to push it back on me two days ago my boss asked me to do a project for another super household name organization and after working with the guy for like five years i can't figure out if he just is totally unaware of the conversations i've had with his boss and his boss's boss or if he's just loving terminally stupid or what, like what possible motivation could i possibly have at this point even if this was a mildly interesting project bad sugarpop habit fucked around with this message at 07:13 on Aug 5, 2021 |
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Aug 5, 2021 07:10
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Scientastic posted:Sounds to me like they didn’t know what they were doing and came to you for your expertise and advice. You don’t need to be psychic to see that they don’t know enough about the subject and that you could have picked a terminal for them. They're already done this same process twice with no issues already so it should be completely easy at this point and they know the conditions for ordering a terminal already. As far as picking a terminal for them, I can't do that because they're the ones who are keeping track of what terminal they want to put on which piece of equipment on their end and we have no clue which ones they're going to choose to put them on in advance and how many they'll be asking for beforehand, so if I choose one myself, it might be one they already selected for another piece of equipment already or will in the future, for example. Regardless, it's not about, that, about how they're asking the same question over and over again when it's been answered multiple times and all they have to do is look at their excel sheet for a terminal serial number with a blank space next to it and send me that serial number. Then, when I tell them this and even take the time to try and proactively call them to prevent more back and forth bullshit, they don't respond. It's almost like they're doing it just to waste everyone's time. I really should have just done nothing and said nothing rather than trying to actually help them after the second time.
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Aug 5, 2021 07:28
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bad sugarpop habit posted:after twelve years with my company, my boss's boss's boss helpfully informed me two weeks ago that i would be laid off in august. he said it was because i was switching between too many roles and different product deployments on projects - neither of which i have any control over in the slightest, which he knows - and that my "performance just wasn't up to snuff", despite several years of stellar annual reviews and receiving glowing and thankful emails from high-level executives from a household-name-famous client i'd delivered a project to at 2am the night before literally during the call i was having with him. the truth of the matter is that the entire company has been moving towards a business model that doesn't really require my position, and more than anything i was loving insulted that he tried to push it back on me Last year I found out I was going to be laid off but no one was supposed to know so I had the unenviable task of "working" for over two months knowing that I was going to be let go around the beginning of August. It was mentally one of the most violent acts I've ever had perpetrated against me, I could hardly stand to get out of bed in the morning and got drunk frequently. When they finally did fire us I don't know if I've ever been more relieved. I've heard that there are people that know they're being laid off officially that keep going to meetings and such, I don't understand why anyone would do that.
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Aug 5, 2021 08:18
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That sucks. The team that shares my lab has interviewed a nice guy from a different team for a job but over two weeks ago decided not to take him, and hasn't told him yet. So every time he sees me or my teammate he asks if we've heard anything and we can't say anything. As ever, I blame HR (and the manager of that team who had been in for maybe one day in the last two months and basically had a panic attack and had to get an ambulance when her team said they'd be doing no more unpaid overtime).
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Aug 5, 2021 08:33
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Local Weather posted:Last year I found out I was going to be laid off but no one was supposed to know so I had the unenviable task of "working" for over two months knowing that I was going to be let go around the beginning of August. It was mentally one of the most violent acts I've ever had perpetrated against me, I could hardly stand to get out of bed in the morning and got drunk frequently. When they finally did fire us I don't know if I've ever been more relieved. Why did you comply? They either needed you till August or not.
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Aug 5, 2021 08:42
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Local Weather posted:Last year I found out I was going to be laid off but no one was supposed to know so I had the unenviable task of "working" for over two months knowing that I was going to be let go around the beginning of August. It was mentally one of the most violent acts I've ever had perpetrated against me, I could hardly stand to get out of bed in the morning and got drunk frequently. When they finally did fire us I don't know if I've ever been more relieved. Sounds like they gave you the ultimate peace of mind. You know you're going out, so why bother doing any effort at all. Two whole months of resume polishing right there on a silver platter.
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Aug 5, 2021 08:56
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Marmaduke! posted:these people never have the official company signatures Why not handle these at the server level?
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Aug 5, 2021 10:06
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Marmaduke! posted:(and the manager of that team who had been in for maybe one day in the last two months and basically had a panic attack and had to get an ambulance when her team said they'd be doing no more unpaid overtime). lol
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Aug 5, 2021 10:09
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LRADIKAL posted:Why did you comply? They either needed you till August or not. champagne posting posted:Sounds like they gave you the ultimate peace of mind. You know you're going out, so why bother doing any effort at all. Two whole months of resume polishing right there on a silver platter. I felt like they were holding a substantial severance pay over my head if I were to just stop doing anything they could have had the case that I was not performing and exclude me from the actual lay-off procedure and just fire me for being a bad worker. All that being said, I participated minimally and mostly for the benefit of my colleagues rather than management. The way I knew I was being laid off was that I was a part of an employee representative council and I had to make sure that the people being laid off were treated fairly and not screwed over. From the information we were given I was able to glean the identities of most of the people being let go and warn them well ahead of time. And yeah don't think I wasn't looking for a job immediately when I knew my head was on the block. I even did an interview from the office (it was empty except for me due to COVID).
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Aug 5, 2021 10:17
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Categorized the difficulty of projects as different types of fruit. Lemme 'splain. A project's difficulty was tied to how difficult it is to eat a specific type of fruit. For instance, if a project was deemed easy to complete, it was in the "grape" category. If a project was deemed very difficult, it was in the "coconut" category. So you had people deadass saying on conference calls stuff like "No, I don't have time for any more mangoes. I can only take on a banana or lower." and whatnot.
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Aug 5, 2021 10:27
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Yes! We have no bananas today.
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Aug 5, 2021 10:29
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Aug 5, 2021 10:35
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IT enabled the "Report Phishing" button in Outlook before the summer holidays with great fanfare. I've already reported four mails from IT and two from HR this week. No other mails have looked even remotely as suspicious.
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Aug 5, 2021 11:42
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Local Weather posted:Last year I found out I was going to be laid off but no one was supposed to know so I had the unenviable task of "working" for over two months knowing that I was going to be let go around the beginning of August. I mentioned this in the thread a while ago but a whole bunch of people at my old job (including me) were told we were getting laid of in mid January of this year. I was out with the first wave a couple weeks later, but some people weren’t actually done until mid-June. And they couldn’t just find another job and quit early, or slack off and get fired, because there was a surprisingly decent severance package at stake. That sounds awful.
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Aug 5, 2021 12:30
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We had Windows updates the other week and the main change I've observed is that it's messed around the buttons on the Word Review tab and made it harder to track changes, but it has added on a new CV button to make it that little bit easier to find a new job. Great work guys, that will be very beneficial for all the guys you've just put onto compulsory overtime who are handing in their notice!
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Aug 5, 2021 12:47
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Is there a polite way to tell headhunters to gently caress off? I have the same woman contacting me about a payroll position at the call center I left 5 years ago. Everytime she does I have nightmares of this company buying my current employer out and forcing me to work in the call center because of restructuring. I also get the panic attacks due to the mental and physical abuse of supervisors and managers.
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Aug 5, 2021 12:49
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I know this is the dumb poo poo thread but it's so refreshing to go into a new company that does Agile and have stand ups that actually last 10 minutes, everyone is super concise about what they're working on and there's an understanding that anything that needs to be discussed in greater detail will be picked up after. The backlog is somewhat orderly (we also hired a Product Owner at the same time as me who needs to sort it out a bit) and there's a good flow of work. I'm sure at some point the penny will drop and I'll find out the weird poo poo they do (like the massive spreadsheet report I need to fill out - but that's getting replaced soon) but christ this is a nice feeling compared to the last shitshow I worked at.
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Aug 5, 2021 12:53
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Local Weather posted:I even did an interview from the office That's quite the power move.
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Aug 5, 2021 13:02
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lol if you dont reserve a conference room at the company you work at, for your prospective remote interviews
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Aug 5, 2021 13:18
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vyst posted:lol if you dont reserve a conference room at the company you work at, for your prospective remote interviews Label them as such on the public calendar.
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Aug 5, 2021 13:56
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Manager: we've heard your concerns about being critically understaffed and are moving full speed ahead on hiring another person Me: oh good (six months later) Manager: so anyway I filled out the wrong comment field on the headcount request so it got bounced back Me: oh ok, but you fixed and resubmitted it, right? Manager: ...have you met the newest additions to the mindfulness team?
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Aug 5, 2021 14:27
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Mindful deeznuts Wutang!
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Aug 5, 2021 14:43
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Aug 5, 2021 14:53
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Marmaduke! posted:We had Windows updates the other week and the main change I've observed is that it's messed around the buttons on the Word Review tab and made it harder to track changes, but it has added on a new CV button to make it that little bit easier to find a new job. Great work guys, that will be very beneficial for all the guys you've just put onto compulsory overtime who are handing in their notice! Have they locked down the ribbon? I have heard of places doing that and would probably shank a fucker.
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Aug 5, 2021 14:59
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The Teams built in Word app is all you need
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Aug 5, 2021 15:01
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vyst posted:lol if you dont reserve a conference room at the company you work at, for your prospective remote interviews And print off the job offer forms at work and scan them in there to send to your new company.
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Aug 5, 2021 17:20
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I received an offer for an internal promotion. Great news, right? It absolutely is! Only I can't sign any of the offer documentation because they sent it via Adobe Sign and apparently I don't have access to Adobe sign. I called IT, and it took 20 minutes to for them to figure this out. They gave me a form to request access, which may take up to seven(!) Business days to fulfill. 
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Aug 5, 2021 17:51
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sephiRoth IRA posted:I received an offer for an internal promotion. Great news, right? It absolutely is! Only I can't sign any of the offer documentation because they sent it via Adobe Sign and apparently I don't have access to Adobe sign. I called IT, and it took 20 minutes to for them to figure this out. They gave me a form to request access, which may take up to seven(!) Business days to fulfill. If your able to email it, send it to your phone or personal computer and sign it there
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Aug 5, 2021 17:56
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Or print it as a PDF. Or screenshot each page and connect it then make a PDF again and sign it. So many options.
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Aug 5, 2021 19:24
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Oh my loving GOD New hire to the team decided to suggest to our boss a "Me Minute" segment for our weekly staff minute where each week someone rotates and says things about who they are outside of work. Fuuuuuuuck, kid.
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Aug 5, 2021 20:07
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Batterypowered7 posted:Oh my loving GOD Drag that nerd into the parking lot and beat him with a sock full of quarters.
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Aug 5, 2021 20:14
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Lascivious Sloth posted:Or print it as a PDF. Or screenshot each page and connect it then make a PDF again and sign it. So many options. Oh, absolutely- except it's company policy that it must be signed through Adobe eSign and no other options will be accepted AND it can only be sent to my company email as the sole "authorized signer" I wouldn't have posted it here if it wasn't especially stupid and awkward. Also in the words of my sister: "I'm looking for sympathy, not a solution"
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Aug 5, 2021 20:46
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Coworker during staff meeting: "I saw they sent an e-mail saying masks are mandatory again in the office. I can't wear a mask all the time because I wear glasses and they get all foggy." lmfao, these loving people
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Aug 5, 2021 20:46
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Batterypowered7 posted:Oh my loving GOD Oh man that's bad. I swear I'm not a total misanthrope and have befriended and hung out with some coworkers in the past, but crap like this goes from "fun teambuilding" to "do it or you're being insubordinate and maybe you'll lose your income and health insurance if Hyrax doesn't share what he's grateful for four times a week."
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Aug 5, 2021 20:55
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