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Jim ties Angela up in a coil of rope and places her on the train tracks. Dwight rides out and rescues her, but while he is distracted, Jim robs the Scranton Citizens Savings Bank. While he is walking out with a black mask over his eyes and carrying two large sacks with dollar signs on them, Dwight heroically arrives and foils his dastardly schemes.
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Aug 7, 2021 08:21
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| # ? May 29, 2024 05:53 |
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Dwight arrives at the office and scans his desk for the usual signs of Jim's tampering. After a cursory search, he sits down, pleased to find no evidence of a prank- at least not first thing this morning. The clock reads 7:15am. Jim hasn't shown up yet. He may be a nuisance, but he's rarely tardy. Dwight asks Pam where "the truant" is, to which Pam replies with a mildly concerned "I'm not sure, he should be here. I saw him this morning before I left the house." Dwight storms into Michael Scott's office, demanding that Jim be called and reprimanded for his unacceptable display of neglect for his responsibilities. Michael calls Jim's phone, only to immediately be greeted by his voicemail. The day continues. Lunch rolls around, Jim still hasn't so much as texted anyone in the office. Pam is visibly anxious and is having difficulty prying herself away from her phone. Dwight begins to feel a twinge of anxiety, but manages to brush it off. Surely this is just a ploy- one of Jim's fantastical little pranks. Another day passes. Then a week. Then two. Jim hasn't been seen since. Pam has left town some few days ago on a personal search for Jim while the Scranton police carry out a missing person's search. Dwight looks to the empty desk to his left. He lets out a sigh through pursed lips. Stress is unbecoming of a Schrute man, and so in an effort to take his mind off the disappearance of his colleague, Dwight decides to browse the model kits aisle of a local Hobby Lobby where a particularly uncanny looking Mobile Suit Gundam kit catches his eye. Dwight smirks and brings it home, eager to relieve some of his nervousness with a night of indulging in an old pastime. Meanwhile, in the streets of Taipei, Jim Halpert stands in the middle of a bustling crowd. Just this morning he had snuck out of bed with his newlywed wife, Pam, and booked a flight to Taiwan. He hadn't mentioned a word of this to a single soul- discreetness was key. Now finally having arrived at his destination, Jim set out for the offices of a large toy manufacturer. One that specifically produced and manufactured model kits to be exported and sold in the United States. After locating the business, Jim inquired about finding employment within as an assembly line worker. To his luck and delight, he was hired immediately. Weeks pass, and Jim becomes a model model-assembly worker, with his supervisors granting him the luxury of not needing to be observed quite as routinely as some of the other workers on the line. All according to plan, and Jim takes one of these opportunities to set his masterstroke into action. Back in Scranton, Dwight arrives home at his farm. Checking his phone as he walks through the door, he sees several texts from Pam. Seems she still hasn't been able to find so much as a trace of Jim's whereabouts. Her messages have been getting more and more desperate- Dwight suspects she may be on the verge of a total mental breakdown. Dwight sighs as he unloads his briefcase and pulls out his newly purchased gunpla kit. He spends several hours assembling the Gundam, successfully erasing all of the tension that had been building up. All that was left to place the weapon accessories into its hands. He stops moving. "Where's the sword? What the hell? WHERE'S THE SWORD?!" We cut back to Jim on the assembly line. He mugs the camera.
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Aug 7, 2021 09:01
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Pam isn't even pretending to be discrete anymore as she day-drinks wine out of her purse, but somehow Dwight keeps ticking. He comes into work every single day, waters the plants, makes coffee in the coffee pot, and starts working before anyone else arrives. Dwight's happiness gnaws at Jim. Jim fakes the creation of a separate company, "Ath-Lead", some kind of athlete-based marketing company. The details don't really make sense, but Jim starts spending increasingly longer periods of time "starting up" the "company" in "Philadelphia". Eventually, he doesn't return. Several months later, the pre-paid rent on a storage unit in Minooka runs out, and the owner clips the lock on the door to reveal that the entire unit is filled with pipes, planks of lumber, pipes, compressors, gauges, one refrigerator, one power generator, and three pulley systems. Just under the crudely written sign ("Pranking Machine"), trapped between two large gears, they find a mangled body in an advanced state of decomposition. The corpse's leathery skin is pulled back at the mouth in what appears to be a smirk.
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Aug 7, 2021 09:19
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man the US Office was so bad
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Aug 7, 2021 09:34
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German Office (Stromberg) was the most amazing display of fremdscham and cringe and I feel uncomfortable watching it to this day.
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Aug 7, 2021 09:36
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Jim downloads his consciousness into Dwight's cellphone and constantly interrupts Dwight's sales calls with racial slurs and obscenities.
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Aug 8, 2021 01:09
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Jim uses his summoning magic on Dwight to transform him into the invincible monster Sin, who terrorizes Scranton for a thousand years.
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Aug 8, 2021 01:16
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Dwight slips on ice in the parking lot and Jim calls an ambulance instead of simply driving him to the hospital, which ends up costing Dwight several thousand dollars.
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Aug 8, 2021 02:10
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Jim and Dwight do a freaky friday
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Aug 8, 2021 02:29
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After work is dismissed for the day, Dwight goes to the Scranton Gate Nursing Home to visit 75-year-old Eddie Johnson, his "adopted grandparent" in the Adopt-a-Grandparent program. At the nursing home, after he plays a little with another resident, he and Eddie play bumper pool, and Eddie tells Dwight that he reminds him of his daughter Gloria, when she was younger. At home, Michael and Andy have a disagreement. Andy seems to think that his dog Coco is smarter than Comet, and Michael remarks that even Andy himself is not smarter than Comet. So they agree to invite all the dogs that live in their neighborhood into the Dunder Mifflin backyard for a little dog show in order to settle the argument. Andy and Michael prepare for the event by having some practice runs with Comet in the kitchen (that elicit applause from the audience). Comet gets a treat, and so does Michael... only for him to realize that it is a liver snack and not a cookie. Michael then realizes his mistake: he gave Comet the cookie instead! Meanwhile, Pam makes Jim wear a sympathy pad (a prosthetic belly meant to simulate pregnancy), in order to show him how it feels to be pregnant,, and gets him to come down to the kitchen so everyone can see. Jim's shirt says it all: "BUN IN THE OVEN". When Stanley sees this, he laughs his head off and continues to do so until Jim chases him out. Jim decides he's not wearing the sympathy pad as it weighs 25 pounds, but Pam says so does hers, and she went through a lot of trouble from her childbirth coach to get it. And if he really wanted to know what she went through, he would wear it for more than five minutes... unless he is not man enough to be pregnant. But Jim decides he is man enough to be pregnant, as much woman as she is. In any event, Pam bets that Jim can't wear the pad for more than 24 hours, let alone a mere five minutes. Whoever wins the bet decides the wallpaper for the kids' room: "Fun at the Circus" for her, and "Elvis" for him. And she bets that while he can talk the talk, he can't walk the walk. In fact, he tries his hand at "walking the walk". Unfortunately, Jim takes the pad off, and when he tries to put it back on, it is too little too late as Pam sees right through his error and automatically wins the bet, so it is "Fun at the Circus" for the new room. Dwighy had promised to be the dog show's judge, so at the end of his visit with Eddie, he tells Eddie about the dog show, and Eddie is intrigued. Wanting to see the show, he sneaks out of the nursing home and goes with Dwight to the office. At work, Dwight notices Eddie acting strange, as he calls Dwight “Gloria” and tells him to get to school. But after a moment, he then shrugs it off and they both go off to judge the dog show. The winner of the dog show turns out to be Kevin’s dog, Sparky, as Comet falls in love with Coco, and neither dog performs. Michael wonders why Andy didn't show up with Coco, and Michael says that it's because "His dog's a chicken." He then realizes he finally made a joke, and a successful one too, as he laughs at his own joke. Nurse Thomas arrives from the nursing home, looking for Eddie, and informs Dwight that a signature from a relative is needed to get Eddie out of the nursing home, which Eddie neglected to mention. Dwight finds Eddie inside of the house, and he has another spell in which he calls Dwight Gloria again and tells him to clean 'her' room or she can't watch 'Howdy Doody'. Dwight becomes concerned and says that he does not watch Howdy Doody and even says it was on before his time, but Eddie shrugs his wandering mind off. The nurse finds them and is miffed at Eddie for sneaking out, and Eddie reluctantly agrees to return, but not without exclaiming that he can’t remember the last time he had this much fun. David Wallace then tells Dwight that Nurse Thomas explained that Eddie is showing the early signs of dementia , and the spells he had today will only get worse. Dwight is horrified, and almost regrets being a volunteer. He explains that she became a volunteer because he wanted to help people. However, David Wallace tells him that when Eddie was judging the dog show with her, he was laughing and he said that today is the best day he has had in a long time, and it is thanks to him. David Wallace assures him that if he can have a positive influence on Eddie’s time, it is all worth it. Dwight and David Wallace then invite Eddie and Nurse Thomas to stay for dinner. Nurse Thomas agrees to let Eddie stay for dinner as she has to return to the nursing home. Eddie, out of curiosity, asks what they are having for dinner, and David Wallace tells him it is lasagna, which pleases him. Dwight asks Eddie if he would like to help set the table, and he replies that he would be delighted to do so, and then offers him his arm in a gentlemanly manner. He takes it, smiling, as they head to the kitchen. Unbeknownst to all of them Jim has encased the lasagna in a jello mold.
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Aug 8, 2021 04:12
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Whenever Dwight makes a sale, Jim congratulates him with a butt pat, a nod, and a, "Good job, sport." Edit: Jim is always chewing tobacco when this happens. Sherry Bahm fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Aug 9, 2021 |
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Aug 9, 2021 01:18
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Jim traps Dwight inside Donkey Kong. As the donkey!
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Aug 9, 2021 01:21
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Dwight asks for a Coke. Jim purposefully gets him a Pepsi instead.
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Aug 9, 2021 01:25
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Sherry Bahm posted:Dwight asks for a Coke. Dwight is initially annoyed but his thirst wins out and he begrudgingly takes the offered beverage. But to Jim's shock Dwight loved the crisp, refreshing taste of Pepsi and thanks Jim for changing his life! Dwight becomes a huge Pepsi fan, throwing away all of his collectables and replacing them with Pepsi merchandise. Every day Dwight comes into work wearing a Pepsi baseball cap, a Pepsi jacket, all of his shirts are now Pepsi blue, and Dwight even brings in a Pepsi-themed mini fridge filled to the brim with Pepsi, Cherry Pepsi, Vanilla Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, and Pepsi MAX. And every day, right before cracking open his first Pepsi of the day, Dwight stands in front of all of coworkers to publicly declare his undying gratitude towards Jim for opening Dwight to a new chapter in his life.
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Aug 9, 2021 01:32
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Jim gives Dwight a Ouija board, knowing that Dwight is a Christian and will find it offensive. Dwight uses it anyway, holding no stock in silly pagan superstitions, and is immediately attacked by the spirits of Grandpa Schrute's victims. You see, they were Jewish slaves worked to death in Colonel Schrute's experimental beet fields, striving to create a perfect strain of coldproof aryan beets. They quickly realize their mistake and apologize to Dwight, but they still curse his beets for a thousand generations, because they have good reason to hate beets. One of them also transforms Mose from a dog into a bearded autistic amish-looking man, as a joke. Jim doesn't smirk because he has no idea any of this is happening, Pam just told him to get rid of their kids Ouija board because they'd been playing with it way too much, so he gave it to Dwight.
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Aug 9, 2021 01:41
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Who What Now posted:Dwight is initially annoyed but his thirst wins out and he begrudgingly takes the offered beverage. But to Jim's shock Dwight loved the crisp, refreshing taste of Pepsi and thanks Jim for changing his life! Dwight becomes a huge Pepsi fan, throwing away all of his collectables and replacing them with Pepsi merchandise. Every day Dwight comes into work wearing a Pepsi baseball cap, a Pepsi jacket, all of his shirts are now Pepsi blue, and Dwight even brings in a Pepsi-themed mini fridge filled to the brim with Pepsi, Cherry Pepsi, Vanilla Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, and Pepsi MAX. And every day, right before cracking open his first Pepsi of the day, Dwight stands in front of all of coworkers to publicly declare his undying gratitude towards Jim for opening Dwight to a new chapter in his life. It's not long before Jim also takes a sip, and becomes a die-hard Pepsi fan as well.
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Aug 9, 2021 01:51
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D56zNto2ZP4
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Aug 9, 2021 03:41
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Jim says he's mastered the "Death Touch", a single punch that can kill anyone. Dwight, entirely confident that this is bullshit, allows Jim to punch him. Dwight, as expected, survives. Dwight tells Jim that he needs to work on his technique, to which Jim replies "I never said it would kill YOU." Dwight dismisses this until his cell phone starts to ring and Jim looks at him, smugly.
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Aug 9, 2021 14:13
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Jim dips the tip of all Dwight's pens into wax, he unplugged Dwight's keyboard from his PC, he replaces Dwight's eye drops with bleach, and loosens the top of the pepper shaker so when Dwight (who is now blind) tries to shake some pepper onto his lunch, a lot more than he was expecting comes out!
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Aug 9, 2021 17:15
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Jim's pranks have gotten out of hand to the point where corporate has sent Jan Levinson down to deal with it. She takes him into the break room and explains that this behavior needs to stop. Jim makes an offer to her. If she "lets this slide" then he will "let her slide" onto his penis. It cuts to credits and we don't know what happened after that.
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Aug 9, 2021 17:28
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Jim, a convicted felon, convinces Dwight to purchase to purchase an AR15 for him. Jim uses the rifle to commit a mass shooting, knowing that dwight will be charged with knowingly selling a firearm to a felon. Jim mugs for the camera as he loads that last sweet round he has saved for himself.
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Aug 9, 2021 17:33
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Jim calls Dwight Balloon Boy knowing that Dwight has an inflation fetish. Jim then informs Toby that Dwight has a massive erection at work.
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Aug 9, 2021 17:47
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Jim shows up to work wearing a clown wig and, when asked, says that he's just "showing the outside world how he feels inside." Dwight is concerned about his coworker and says that he's there if Jim needs a helping hand. Jim tells Dwight that he appreciates it, but he just feels like such a clown inside. Dwight adds that he sometimes feels that way, too, and that there's nothing wrong with it. Jim smiles and hugs Dwight, then adds "I'm glad we're both full of clowns." With that, Jim starts violently shaking and collapses to the ground. He's still for a moment, and then a gloved hand slowly pops out of his mouth. That hand extends upward, connecting to an arm and, eventually, an entire body. A clown body. The clown stands up, honks it nose, and then another 7 clowns crawl out of Jim in a similar mannger. Dwight stares in horror as the clowns start to perform a little show, all while covered in bits of Jim's innards. "Entry of the Gladiators" starts to play, seemingly coming from Jim's corpse. One of the clowns, presumably the leader, steps forward. He looks a lot like Jim, minus his orange hair. Even his outfit looks a lot like Jim's - he's wearing a giant floppy tie with a polka-dotted shirt tucked into oversized dress pants that hang over his giant shoes. The leader clown takes a giant puff of his cigar and blows it in Dwight's face. He then asks where Dwight's clowns are. Dwight says that Jim misunderstood, he's not LITERALLY filled with clowns. The leader clown takes another puff from his cigar and nods at a clown dressed as a surgeon. The surgeon clown pulls out a rusty saw and takes a step towards Dwight. Dwight continues to insist there's a miscommunication as the troupe of clowns mug for the camera. Meanwhile, Michael sits in his office rushing to put on his clown outfit so he can "get my clown resume out there in the community".
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Aug 9, 2021 18:04
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Jim rewires Dwight's wireless phone charger so that when he puts his phone on the cradle, it DRAINS the battery.
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Aug 9, 2021 18:30
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Jim replaces Dwight's HDMI cable with a VGA cable, and chuckles to himself as Dwight is now forced to suffer with slightly lower visual fidelity and more susceptibility to crosstalk
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Aug 9, 2021 18:39
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Jim eats a messy plate of ribs for his lunch, then touches multiple surfaces across the office, coating them in sticky barbecue sauce. Dwight is prepared and uses a wet wipe to clean up every surface he's planning to use, avoiding any messy mishaps. When Dwight gets home, he goes for a walk and notices that the forest is oddly silent. He doesn't hear a single bird, squirrel, chipmunk... not even a single fly buzzing. Dwight steps in what he thinks is animal droppings until he tries to wipe it off on a leaf and realizes it's barbecue sauce. Dwight rushes home through the silent woods, breathing heavily and praying that Jim didn't find Mose.
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Aug 9, 2021 19:27
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Jim comes to work with his skin inside out and gets blood on Dwight’s stuff. His skinless face mugs the camera.
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Aug 9, 2021 19:57
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Jim arrives at the 32nd annual Dunder Mifflen family picnic wearing a custom bright orange t-shirt with big bold letters that say "DWIGHT SCHRUTE DID NOT EMBEZZLE FUNDS." Despite this being a true statement it leads to many questions.
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Aug 9, 2021 20:32
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Using a time machine, Jim grabs 3,000 versions of himself from all across his life in order to plan the ultimate prank. They decide to plan this at a local Arby's, drawing Dwight's attention as he drives home from work and sees thousands of Jim's inside Arby's, in the parking lot, and some wandering around the next door Walgreen's. Dwight asks the oldest Jim if he remembers what the successful prank was. The older Jim asks what he means, and Dwight mentions that if they truly did pull off the "Ultimate prank", they'd remember it. That means that the youngest Jim (a 7 year old Jim that the current-day Jim grabbed from his birthday) would remember the prank. Therefore, every subsequent Jim would ALSO remember the prank. The elder Jim looks confused and starts walking away, but Dwight again mentions that he'd remember this. The elder Jim grabs a 50-ish Jim and asks if he remembers, which he does not. Dwight asks if anyone remembers the prank and none of them do. Dwight then asks if they all remember this, which they do. Dwight then leaves them at Arby's with the awkward knowledge that they'll never create an ultimate prank. The oldest Jim, remembering now that he's done this 2999 times before, begs current-day Jim to send him back home. Current-day Jim just tells everyone to mug for the camera as things have gotten way out of control and he's worried that Dwight may have somehow gotten the upper hand on him. 3,000 Jims awkwardly mug for the camera, several of them with Arby's sauce on their faces.
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Aug 9, 2021 20:41
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later that day a pack of 30-50 feral Jims attack dwight at his farm, but dwight is able to adequately protect mose thanks to his easy access to assault weaponry
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Aug 9, 2021 20:47
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Jim hides Dwight's copy of Tom Strong Volume 1 Issue 13 so Dwight can't see how it ends.
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Aug 9, 2021 20:49
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Dwight walks into work to see Jim shoving a bicycle pump hose down a documentarian's throat. Jim Dig-Dugs the camera.
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Aug 9, 2021 20:54
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A Fancy Hat posted:Using a time machine, Jim grabs 3,000 versions of himself from all across his life in order to plan the ultimate prank. They decide to plan this at a local Arby's, drawing Dwight's attention as he drives home from work and sees thousands of Jim's inside Arby's, in the parking lot, and some wandering around the next door Walgreen's. Say a direct copy of Jim nearest the cliff is sent to the back of the line of Jims and takes the place of the first Jim. The formerly first Jim becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth falls off the cliff. Time works the same way.
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Aug 9, 2021 20:56
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Jim invites Dwight to play a Christmas game. Dwight may strike Jim any way he wishes, but in one year, Jim will strike back the same way in return at the Scranton Chapel. Dwight figures out a loophole. Jim can't return the strike if he is dead. Dwight decapitates Jim in one strike. Jim picks up his head and smirks at Dwight. "ONE YEAR HENCE" he bellows
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Aug 9, 2021 21:40
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Jim tells Dwight that he's done pranking him. Dwight at first feels relief, finally free to live a life without pranks, but his joy slowly sours and turns to paranoia. Weeks pass with not so much as a mild prank. The weeks turn to months, the months to years, and not so much as a classic jello pranking from Jim. Jim and Dwight are on good terms now. Then, Jim blows up Dwight's car with tannerite.
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Aug 9, 2021 23:05
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Over lunch Jim is regaling his coworkers with the summary of the latest Bob's Burgers episode, describing the exploits of two of the Belcher children, Louise and Toni. Dwight interrupts to point out that the older daughters name is Tina, not Toni. An upset Jim abruptly stands up, abandoning his story, and runs out of the room, muttering under his breath. The next morning Dwight wakes up and looks down on himself in horror: he's a cartoon. And not only a cartoon, he's trapped in Bob's Burgers. As Dwight starts screaming he hears Jim's voice echoing through the world "Guess we'll see if it's Tina or Toni after all! Good luck buddy, we'll be watching!"
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Aug 10, 2021 00:12
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Jim puts Dwight on full blast on KiwiFarms
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Aug 10, 2021 02:57
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jim fingerblasts dwight, that little turd
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Aug 10, 2021 10:23
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Dwight becomes a local Beyblade champion, drawing the expected amount of fame and fortune. A jealous Jim approaches him in the street, screeches "LET IT RIP!", and then tears his own face off. Dwight screams in horror as Jim painfully mugs for the camera.
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Aug 10, 2021 12:46
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| # ? May 29, 2024 05:53 |
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A Fancy Hat posted:Dwight becomes a local Beyblade champion, drawing the expected amount of fame and fortune. I don't know why this made me crack up to the degree that it did but RIP my sides.
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Aug 10, 2021 12:56
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