Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

Pash posted:

Champs Retain

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
Champs retain

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

both retain

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Champs keep.

Also, you're only hurting yourself by forcing me into roster moves!

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa
ROCK HOPPER: Arlen Propane Sellers
ADELIE: Oklahoma City Bombers
SNARES: Garreg Mach Golden Deer
CHINSTRAP: London Calling
SUB-PAR CHAMPS: Arlen Propane Sellers
MEMENTO MORI: Los Angeles Misanthropes
VAE VICTIS: Towa City Demon Hunters
SIC TRANSIT VIR: World Warriors
DYNAMO WC: Handybeavers & Mr. Burns Zephyrs
MARK BELLHORN: Khartoum Doom
SENOR GOODTIMES: Kobe Crows
NORRIS-SMYTHE: Walney Rakers
SMASHER WC: Portland Panderers & Minnesota Government Dogs
SMASHER: Kobe Crows
DYNAMO: World Warriors
CHAMPS: Kobe Crows

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016

Champs retain

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

FairGame posted:

Pungry should GET A KITTEN

Everyone should get a kitten imo

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



Champs retain

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


Doom & Pandas

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



Champs retain

(I don't know exactly what that means here, but it seems like a good prediction!)

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

champs retain

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Chamale posted:

Champs retain

(I don't know exactly what that means here, but it seems like a good prediction!)

It means that the current belt holders (in this case the Red Pandas and the Doom) won't get swept.

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011



Volk Hammer to the DL.

Call up Duke Snider.

Start Hank Aaron in Left Field.

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope
Omni-Titles
The Hague Honkbalers

Grand Slam Championships
Raleigh Red Pandas (c)

Forzelt
Jul 23, 2012

Variance? Fuck that noise.
Pick 'em: KITTENS NEVER FAIL!

Omni-Titles
Khartoum Doom (c) @ The Hague Honkbalers

Grand Slam Championships
Raleigh Red Pandas (c) @ Los Angeles Misanthropes




Not great rolls and not a great injury. So...

Grantham to IR; Honus Wagner to 1B; Rudy York to bench.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
champs retain

GVOLTT
Dec 27, 2012

Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

Just since it didn't seem like it applied during week 1, make Ivan Rodriguez the personal C for Greg Maddux.

Ginge
Sep 8, 2011

Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!
Champs retain.

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp

Ginge posted:

Champs retain.

I agree with Ginge

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Champies keep

CVE
Jan 27, 2012
Preseason Pick 'em!


Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division?
Burns Zephyrs


Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division?
Towa City Demon Hunters

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division?
World Warriors

Who Will Win the Dynamo League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
Rochester Generics
Baseball Club


Who Will Win the Dynamo League?
Towa City Demon Hunters


Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division?
Mexico City Machine Elves

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division?
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division?
Walney Rakers

Who Will Win the Smasher League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
The Hague Honkbalers
Khartoum Doom


Who Will Win the Smasher League?
Portland Panderers



Who Will Win Super-League XXXI?
Towa City Demon Hunters


Who Will Win the Rock HopperDivision?
Saudi Steamrollers


Who Will Win the Adelie Division?
Oklahoma City Bombers


Who Will Win the Snares Division?
Milan Mosquitoes

Who Will Win the Chinstrap Division
London Calling



Which of the Above Teams Will Win the Sub-Par Bowl?

Oklahoma City Bombers

Regular Pick'em

Champs retain.

TheoSqua
Mar 23, 2020
Random ftw!

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division?
Baseball Club


Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division?
Titanic Deck Chairs


Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division?
Raleigh Red Pandas


Who Will Win the Dynamo League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
Diamond Joe Bidens
Algonquin Park Handybeavers

Who Will Win the Dynamo League?
Baseball Club

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division?
The Hague Honkbalers

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division?
Luna Landers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division?
Enix Slimes

Who Will Win the Smasher League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
Minnesota Government Dogs
Mexico City Machine Elves

Who Will Win the Smasher League?
The Hague Honkbalers


Who Will Win Super-League XXXI?
Baseball Club

Who Will Win the Rock HopperDivision?
Saudi Steamrollers

Who Will Win the Adelie Division?
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Snares Division?
STICK CLUB

Who Will Win the Chinstrap Division
South Dakota Marmosets


Which of the Above Teams Will Win the Sub-Par Bowl?
Marmosets

TheoSqua fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Aug 9, 2021

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
Sub-Par League XIX, Week 2 Injury Report

London Calling
John McGraw (1B) (Decided to go) - 48 days

Saudi Steamrollers
Tris Speaker (CF) (Caught underneath steamroller) - 34 days

Seventh Sea Chancers
Pete Rose (1B) (Suspended for gambling while playing on the RNG team) - 26 days

Pungry fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Aug 9, 2021

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

Lineup Changes - Senadores


Maybe if we Put Barry Bonds in DH and move Danny Murphy from the bench to LF it'll make barry less likely to get injured and put a better bat than my backup C in the lineup? perhaps we shall see

Pick-em

Copying the last posted one ftw!

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division?
Baseball Club


Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division?
Titanic Deck Chairs


Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division?
Raleigh Red Pandas


Who Will Win the Dynamo League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
Diamond Joe Bidens
Algonquin Park Handybeavers

Who Will Win the Dynamo League?
Baseball Club

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division?
The Hague Honkbalers

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division?
Luna Landers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division?
Enix Slimes

Who Will Win the Smasher League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
Minnesota Government Dogs
Mexico City Machine Elves

Who Will Win the Smasher League?
The Hague Honkbalers


Who Will Win Super-League XXXI?
Baseball Club

Who Will Win the Rock HopperDivision?
Saudi Steamrollers

Who Will Win the Adelie Division?
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Snares Division?
STICK CLUB

Who Will Win the Chinstrap Division
South Dakota Marmosets


Which of the Above Teams Will Win the Sub-Par Bowl?
Marmosets

Izzysaurus
Mar 20, 2021
Preseason Pick 'em!


Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division?
Los Angeles Misanthropes

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division?
Towa City Demon Hunters

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division?
World Warriors

Who Will Win the Dynamo League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
Rochester Generics
Raleigh Red Pandas

Who Will Win the Dynamo League?
World Warriors

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division?
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division?
Kobe Crows

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division?
Walney Rakers

Who Will Win the Smasher League Wildcards? (PICK TWO!)
Portland Panderers
Minnesota Government Dogs

Who Will Win the Smasher League?
Kobe Crows

Who Will Win Super-League XXXI?
Kobe Crows

Who Will Win the Rock HopperDivision?
Saudi Steamrollers

Who Will Win the Adelie Division?
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Snares Division?
Garreg Mach Golden Deer

Who Will Win the Chinstrap Division?
Onigiri Hedgehogs

Which of the Above Teams Will Win the Sub-Par Bowl?
Onigiri Hedgehogs

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Pungry posted:

Seventh Sea Chancers
Pete Rose (1B) (Suspended for gambling while playing on the RNG team) - 26 days
:prepop:

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."



Super-League XXXI, Week 2: While the World Warriors Die Screaming, Yaya Was Sleeping


MORE VOTING!


Pungry's Big Adventure, Part Two (Alpha and Beta)" posted:


ALPHA

B. Turn the radio on his nightstand to 86.7 KKIX: The Thunder

Pungry decided that what he need to help him ponder Smasher's incomplete missive was some tunes. And good tunes. And there was no station that gave better tunes than 86.7 KKIX: The Thunder. Hitting the pre-set button for the station, Pungry winced as he heard the voices that came through the speaker.

For some reason, and Pungry did not know why, the station managers believed that what listeners really wanted during the morning drive-time hours was in-studio host banter. Perhaps, Pungry figured, the people who listened to the radio on their drive to work wanted to not feel so alone during their drive, and hearing these people have a friendly conversation about nothing in particular would help them, make them feel that they were not, in fact, separated from all other people.

Pungry stopped for a second. That was food for thought. Smasher was a solitary man, distrustful of all others. That he had reached out to Pungry at all, and asked him for help must have meant something, it was not something that Smasher would have done normally, only the most dire of circumstances could have compelled him to take such an action, and that thought put Pungry at edge. Exceptional circumstances called for an exceptional response, and while Pungry did not share Smasher's extreme self-loathing, he was still untested in the ways of the Super-League under normal times, let alone some existential crisis.

Pungry's mind then drifted back to the voices on the radio. The Twin Cities Triad were not the most entertaining radio hosts. They presumably worked for cheap, as several of them lived in SoDak, where the cost of living was not measured in dollars but in the mental toll that living in a barren steppe took on the soul. Their banter showed that this cost weighed heavily on them.

"I'm just saying," Zodiac5000 said, "That I called Pash, and he did not pick me up from the bar."

"I never got your text." Pash said. "Are you sure you sent it to me?"

"I sent it, you got it, and you just didn't pick me up!" Zodiac5000 insisted. "forzelt, you know the story." Everyone who had listened to the Twin Cities Triad knew the story. The story had been told and told and told over the years. Not that repeating a story was necessarily bad. There had been, for example, many iterations of the story of Faust, with Marlowe and Goethe's versions being the most well-known, and they held up due to the timeless themes contained in the story.

The story the Triad felt compelled to repeat, however, was only connected to Faust insofar as it made the listener feel as though he or she had been condemned to hell.

"I don't care." forzelt said. The story had been told, and in all of those retellings, forzelt's utter indifference remained constant. "It was years ago."

"It's a matter of principle. Pash should admit he was wrong." Zodiac5000 insisted. Pungry stared at the radio, as though if he willed it, the hosts would stop talking and play some music, any music. Anything that would end this conversation. "Pash, admit you got the text, and just didn't pick me up from the bar." Pungry prayed that, for once, just this once, that Pash would, for the sake of all mankind, just say whatever Zodiac5000 wanted so it could end.

"I didn't get the text." Pash said. Another hope dashed. "You never sent me the text."

"Guys, let's just play a song." forzelt said. Pungry fist-pumped. Finally, someone was acting as the voice of reason. "We have two tickets to give away for the next show for this band, and it's the new one from the Lumineers-" Pungry's eyes went wide at the mention of the band, and he immediately reached out and grabbed his radio and threw it with all his might into the wall, as his sense of self-preservation, that inherent need for a soul to protect itself from mortal harm, forced him to act decisively.

Regaining his senses, Pungry got out of his bed and looked at the remains of his radio. He wondered if that had not been a slight overreaction. Or, at least, that is what he thought until he began to hear the telltale sounds of weak folk-rolk from the shattered, yet still somehow functional, fragments of the radio. Pungry, once again gripped by hate and fear demolished what remained of the radio.

What will Pungry do next?

A. The Twin Cities Triad must pay for their crimes!

B. Buy a new radio! A better radio!

C. Infiltrate the indie folk-rock scene to destroy it from within.

D. Eat a plum.


BETA

C. Acquire a pet kitten

Pungry decided that he had no choice: he needed a kitten.

At that moment, a flash of light and the sound of thunder erupted as a small portal opened in front of him, and a small kitten quickly ran through, before turning back to face the portal, which promptly closed.

The kitten then faced Pungry and looked him in the eyes. "It's good to see you again, kid, I know that-" The kitten stopped himself. "Ah, what am I saying, this version of you doesn't even remember me But that's okay, you're still you, I'm still me, and the Pungry/Tybalt team is back in action!"

Pungry paused. He was relatively certain that kittens did not talk. "What?" That was all Pungry could muster at the moment.

"Yeah, you don't remember anything, do you." Tybalt said, stretching. "Okay, let's break this down a bit. I'm Tybalt, Prince of Cats, and you're Pungry, the Last Commissar of the Sub-Par League." Pungry reacted to that bit with alarm, which the kitten noticed. "Well, don't worry, we'll fix that 'last' part. The Sub-Par League doesn't have to end with you, we just need to think a little harder this time, and it'll work out. Probably. I mean, I know I've said that to you about a hundred times now, but every time we do get a little closer to figuring things out. So, did you get the message from Smasher yet?" Tybalt asked.

"Yeah, the one where he tells me not to do something, but doesn't say what I shouldn't do?" Pungry said.

"That's the one." Tybalt nodded. "Okay, we're on track. Now, have you eaten breakfast?"

"I didn't really have the chance." Pungry said.

"Good, no, that's good. All the food in your house has been poisoned. It's always poisoned. I think that's just one of the starting conditions." Tybalt said. "What's interesting is that who was the person who actually poisoned the food depends on the route we take."

"Wait, someone poisoned my food?" Pungry asked.

"Oh, definitely." Tybalt said. "Everything. The cereal, the eggs, the plums, everything it's terrible. And if we go down the Terror Mariana route, it turns out that the Homestuck Guy is the person who did it. But only on that route. In most other routes it's just one of your many, many enemies. But you don't know they're your enemies yet, because we haven't gone through the scene where the rules of the Game are revealed to you."

"I'm confused." Pungry said.

"Well, I definitely could try and explain it to you, but it's usually easier just to go to the abandoned Border's Bookstore and have the elder explain it." Tybalt answered, his tail slowly swaying back and forth as he talked. "You're still going to be asking questions even after he's done, but he has charts and graphs, and you're a visual learner, so that's probably the way to go."

Pungry was about to answer when he heard the door to his apartment open. "What?" He asked.

"Check it out. But be careful." Tybalt said.

Pungry shrugged and walked out of his bedroom to see TheMcD standing in the hall, conversing with a holographic anime girl. "I detect that a transversal aperture opened less than a half-hour ago." The girl said.

TheMcD looked over the pictures on the walls. "Pungry. Why does he always turn to Pungry?"

"Hey." Pungry said, baffled. "What are you doing here?"

"Where is the cat?" TheMcD answered, not missing a beat. "Where is the so-called Prince of Cats?"

"'So-Called'?" Tybalt emerged from behind Pungry. "I was duly elected."

TheMcD stared down the kitten. "How many Pungries do you intend to kill before you admit that you can't fix your mistake? Or have we already reached the point where the numbers are so high that even you have lost count?"

"I never killed Pungry. I would never kill Pungry. We're a team. We've always been a team." Tybalt hissed. "And I am going to make things right!"

"'Right' and 'wrong' are words without any inherent meaning other than what we give them." TheMcD said. "Tybalt, if you truly want to avert the disaster, you have to accept that some things are beyond your control. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll create a splinter."

Tybalt looked at Pungry and winced, "No! I won't give up that easily. I can make everything right! I made mistakes, fine, but I'll get it right. Pungry and I can get this right."

"Agent TheMcD," the holographic anime girl said, "I believe that Former Agent Tybalt is not going to surrender voluntarily."

"Thank you, Hannelore." TheMcD said, "But that was never in doubt."

"Kid, we have to get out of here, now!" Tybalt said.

"Don't be a fool." TheMcD said. "Tybalt will lead you to your death. Just like the rest."

What will Pungry do?

A. Trust Tybalt

B. Trust TheMcD

C. Trust your instincts

D. Attempt to defuse tensions with a emotional dance




Games of the Week



The Red Pandas hold onto their title, but the Misanthropes take two of three as the 'Thropes aren't done in SLXXXI! WOO!




Second verse, same as the first.




Bad enough to force Yoshida to join your band of miscreants, Yaya, but then you make her sit in the bullpen and watch as Craig Kimbrel blows the game.

I will make this clear: Eri Yoshida deserves better than the Sub-Par League, and if you are demoted, she will not be going with you!




Perfidious HulkaMatt ruins the hopes and dreams of another new owner thanks to his relentless greed and selfishness. Typical.


Team Statistics

































































































































































































Standings



HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


Pungry will...

ALPHA

C. Infiltrate the indie folk-rock scene to destroy it from within.

BETA

HulkaMatt fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Aug 9, 2021

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Alpha Route:

C - Rock music is dead, so indie rock shouldn't be too hard to destroy. The most notable bands in the scene out of the last decade were the loving Imagine Dragons and Portugal. The Man. Rock music is DEAD. IT'S DEAD. Pungry just needs to give it a good burial.

Beta Route:

D - dancing always diffuses tensions! (if done properly)

Armitage fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Aug 9, 2021

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Alpha route: B

Beta route: C

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
TIMELINE ALPHA: D. Pungry still needs to eat breakfast. Maybe it hasn't been poisoned in this timeline. Maybe in this timeline he doesn't even have a plum in the house and needs to go to his local refectory to get one!

TIMELINE BETA: C. Pungry's instincts have never let him down. Except all the times that they have. I mean he chose to tag team with the Bidens, for crying out loud. And he took up the mantle of Sub-Par Commissioner. So maybe this isn't the best idea...



: Welp, I guess I should have listened to the twitter account of one Charley "Old Hoss" Radbourn on this Denton True Young duderino.

: Smashing Dynomite, my brother-from-another-mother, my buddy, pal, and broseph. Please transfer Mr. Young to the IL, and bump Lefty Grove up to SP4 in the rotation - and make Wally Schang his personal catcher.

: Move Carl Mays from LR to SP5, and call up Johan Santana to take over LR, cause he's real smooooth.

: Should all look like below -


: Also, if you can set Mark Grace's position from Pitcher to 1B, I'd be grateful. Seein' him set as a pitcher is makin' me wanna toss him into the fray for a week or two, and I think we know that's bad for both you and me.



: Thanks champ, you're a prince among men and Commissioners.

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 23:55 on Aug 9, 2021

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!




Neat

DL Paige, bring up Brown and slot him in to SP1 please.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Destroy from within!

But the canonical route is with Tybalt, who must be trusted above all others.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Route A:
Plums must be eaten

Route B:
Dance is the language of kings, or something. Anyway, nothing can go wrong with a display of dance!

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
Alpha: Beta
Beta: Alpha

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

FairGame posted:

Destroy from within!

But the canonical route is with Tybalt, who must be trusted above all others.

This is a complete lie. Tybalt is false and will lie to you for the fun of it.

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
The answer to both is A.

Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead
Alpha
A. The Twin Cities Triad must pay for their crimes!

Clearly we are out of control and must be stopped.

Beta
D. Attempt to defuse tensions with a emotional dance

This feels to me like what Pungry would do in this situation.

rabidsquid
Oct 11, 2004

LOVES THE KOG


Alpha
A. Justice must be delivered!

Beta
B. Trust TheMcD, he seems to have an idea of what's going on with this cat!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
C for Alpha, D for Beta. I, uh, definitely do not own the first three Lumineers albums on CD. Not me. It's time to take down indie music for their crimes. And I would definitely do something stupid to try and defuse the situation in Beta.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply