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Jim starts calling Dwight "balloon boy" because of the time he forced Dwight to gently caress a balloon at gunpoint.
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Aug 10, 2021 13:03
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| # ? May 14, 2024 15:25 |
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Dwight starts a bluegrass band that is an almost overnight sensation, being lucky enough to be playing in a dive bar where a talent scout was trying to score some decent blow in podunk Scranton. Jim is outwardly happy for and supportive of Dwight, but the farmer can tell his coworker has mixed feelings about his success. But he also know that Jim is musically talentless, barely able to keep a beat much less actually play anything decently. So Dwight offers for Jim to come along by offering to let him play the bluegrass equivalent to a tambourine. At their first major Jim continuously mentions that he things they're really gonna do a bang up job, strangely putting a large emphasis on the word "bang". Unbeknownst to the rest of the band Jim has replaced all the fireworks on stage with Semtex. Right before the performance starts Jim jugs for the camera
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Aug 10, 2021 13:14
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Andy Dwyer, a contact from Indiana who's office has an account with Dunder Mifflen for all their paper supply needs, gets solicited by a talent search agency for their new superhero movie Guardians of the Galaxy. Andy becomes an international superstar and quits his old job, and goes on to date supermodels and live in a mansion. That agent, who now has a reputation in the industry for identifying future superstars, travels to Scranton to search for the lead in the new Amazon original based on the Tom Clancy novels. He comes across floppy haired Jim Halpert and immediately seals a deal worth tens of millions of dollars. Jim breaks ties with his former office and heads to Hollywood to enjoy living in luxury and excess. Dwight is extremely jealous. Jim's entire workload has been dumped in his lap with not so much as a meager raise to offset his now 70 hour work week. Jim had forgotten about his old life until years later when his agent forwarded him an email from Dwight, who had reached out hoping to get on the Hollywood gravy train. Jim smirked towards the red 8K camera as he licked the back of a stamp and mailed Dwight the script for Super
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Aug 10, 2021 14:33
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Jim throws a basketball at Dwight's head at full speed, causing Dwight's head to explode like a melon at a Gallagher concert. Dwight, shockingly, survives this. The rest of his life is a struggle as Dwight must learn to survive without a head, instead having his brain stored in a plastic jar attached to his wheelchair. However, Dwight makes the most of this and becomes a powerful advocate for the disabled and differently abled. Dwight's Law is eventually passed, which prevents businesses and individuals from discriminating against anyone with a disability or injury and also provides massive social safety nets for anyone unable to work. The fallout of this also means that Jim is liable for Dwight's lost wages from Dunder Mifflin and his hospital bills, which total nearly 30 million dollars. Jim tells Pam and the kids "Guess we're not going to Disney World this year. And Cece, Daddy's gonna need your blood." then mugs for the camera as he starts tearing the copper wiring out of his walls.
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Aug 10, 2021 14:42
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Jim adds a few drops of LSD into Dwight's brain jar fluid
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Aug 10, 2021 14:50
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Where'd you come from? … Pennsylvania … And your parents? … Very wealthy … Where are they now? … Six feet under But he was granted one grace then Employment of Dunder Mifflin! … When'd you get here? … 1990 … How old were you? … Don't remember … Then what happened? … I met Halpert And he pranked my mind away Convinced me I had gone crazay … Oh, poor boy, I can't believe what you've been through. A paper boy, a Runaway prankster. Now tell us Dwighty Who's Pam Beasley? … His ex-girlfriend … Why'd you shoot her? … I was leavin' … Was she angry? … Like a madman Still I said, Pam, move along She knew that she was doin' wrong … Then describe it … She came toward me … With a pistol? … From my bureaa … Did you fight her? … Like a tiger She had strength and he had none And yet we both reached for the gun Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both Oh yes we both Oh yes, we both reached for The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun Oh yes, we both reached for the gun … Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both Oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both reached for The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun Oh yes, they both reached for the gun For the gun … Understandable. understandable Yes, it's perfectly understandable Comprehensible. Comprehensible Not a bit reprehensible It's so defensible! … How're you feeling? … Very frightened … Are you sorry? … Are you kidding? … What's your statement? … All I'd say is Though my choo-choo jumped the track I'd give my life to bring her back … And? … Stay away from … What? … Jazz and liquor … And? … And the men who … What? … Prank for fun … And what? … That's the thought that … Yeah … Came upon me … When? … When we both reached for the gun! … Understandable, understandable Yes, it's perfectly understandable Comprehensible, comprehensible Not a bit reprehensible It's so defensible! … Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both reached for … Let me hear it! … The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun Oh yes, they both reached For the gun For the gun … A little louder! … Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both reached - Oh, yeah For the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun Oh yes. They both reached For the gun Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both reached for The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun Oh yes, they both reached for the gun Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both Oh yes, they both reached for The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun … Both reached for the... gun
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Aug 10, 2021 15:08
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Dunder Mifflin returns to wearing masks in the office as concerns over the Delta variant spread. Jim keeps popping his nose over his mask and pulling it down. When Toby asks him to stop, Jim gets pouty and says he "can't hear anyone with my mask on". Dwight asks Jim why he's so lackadaisical with safety precautions considering he has two kids at home. Jim explains that he's already "taken the necessary precautions with the kids" and that he's tired of "those fat cats in Washington telling me how to live my life". Jim shows up to work a week later sweating and coughing. When Dwight asks what's going on, Jim explains that he's been coughing ever since he was at a Kid Rock concert the other day, but that it's fine, he already had covid 6 months before it was detected in Wuhan, so he has "natural immunity". Dwight slowly pushes his seat away from Jim as Jim mugs for the camera before breaking out into another coughing fit and muttering "Man, my lungs hurt."
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Aug 10, 2021 15:39
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Jim has all his bones surgically removed so he can fold himself up in Dwight's desk drawer and pop out to scare him.
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Aug 10, 2021 15:49
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Jim challenges Dwight to a rap battle: My name is Jim And I like rap If you think you can win You've fallen for my trap Don't waste your time I'm the master of rhyme If you come for me you'll be left behind Dwight thinks about this for a moment and looks around the room. He spies Darryl who looks at him and shakes his head. Dwight replies to Jim: I don't think it would be appropriate for me to participate in this, it would be insulting to the many professionals who put a lot of work and talent into their art for me to just try and make a rap off the cuff. Jim pushes him to the ground and says "That's what I thought, BEEOTCH!"
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Aug 10, 2021 15:57
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Jim begins wearing a black leather glove on his right hand and, when questioned, says it's to represent the darkness in his soul. In solidarity, Dwight organizes the rest of the office to start dressing more goth. Jim, who is now the manager of the local Hot Topic, smiles smugly as he sells more Avenged Sevenfold shirts in a week than he has all year. He then peels back his leather glove, revealing a series of terrible burns. "See, baby, it was all worth it. All worth it!" he says to a stuffed teddy bear as Pam and the children drive away in the night, trying to find somewhere else to live.
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Aug 10, 2021 16:11
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Jim starts his own farm, Halpert Acres. The farm is an absolute disaster and Dwight, out of the kindness of his heart, agrees to mentor Jim and improve the farm. Jim reveals that he has "a lot of gambling debts" he needs to pay off, and that the farm's failure may lead to physical harm coming to his family. Dwight asks Jim what he planted on the farm, and Jim proudly says "jelly beans, candy corn, and chicken wings" while flailing his arms around, presumably showing off his farm. Dwight sighs and decides to teach Jim the very basics of agriculture, but before he can, Jim smacks him in the face with a shovel. Dwight passes out and Jim silently drags his unconscious body into the shoddily-constructed barn. When Dwight wakes up he sees Jim standing over him with a scalpel and a cooler filled with ice. Dwight begs him to stop and explain what's going on. Jim simply says "I told you, Dwight, I have a lot of gambling debts. A LOT of gambling debts." and then slices into a screaming Dwight, removing his kidney and a lung. Dwight mercifully passes out from the blood loss and Jim places the organs into ice, then drives across Scranton as Dwight passes away on the "operating table". Jim reaches his destination and enters with the pilfered organs still in the cooler. He hands them off to a small child. "Here you go, you son of a bitch. Now we're even." The child is confused and looks at Jim, who he's never seen before, then opens the chest and starts screaming. "You sick little bastard, you just love stealing organs don't you? One more dead office worker, just so you can keep up this illegal gambling ring. You make me sick, I hope the cops nail you to the cross." Jim spits on the kid and then wanders out into the parking lot of the Pizza Hut where he just shoved a cooler of organs into the hands of an innocent child. The police have already been called and when they show up, Jim points at the Pizza Hut and says "The sick gently caress is in there, don't be afraid to blow him away, he's armed." The police thank Jim for his help and kick down the doors of the Pizza Hut, guns drawn, as Jim wanders off with no specific destination in mind.
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Aug 10, 2021 16:48
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Jim starts ranting and raving about the tv ratings of his favorite TV show, Dr. Spendookie's Wonder-ma-pookie. Jim is worried it'll get cancelled and begs everyone in the office to watch it. When Dwight argues that tv ratings have less impact nowadays and that the show might be picked up by a streaming service if there's enough fan demand, Jim stares blankly at him. Dwight sighs and then says "Basically, Jim, getting cancelled isn't the end of the world for a tv show." Jim then retorts "Yeah but look what happened when WE got cancelled. I'm like... a childish prankster demon now? I think? And is Michael our boss again or are you? Did Michael marry Holly yet? Do I have kids yet? How old are they? Are you and Angela together yet?" Dwight suddenly suffers from a massive migraine and falls to the ground in pain as Jim mugs for the camera, realizing that even he is a puppet whose strings are being pulled. "Well, sometimes, at least" says Jim as he smiles, smugly, at the person writing this right now.
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Aug 10, 2021 17:28
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Dwight mentions offhand that goose liver pate is delicious. Jim kidnaps Dwight and force feeds him until his liver is nice and tender, then cuts it out and feeds it to geese. “Not so fun when it’s happening to you is it?” asks Jim. Jim then force feeds the rest of Dwight to the geese and consumes their livers.
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Aug 10, 2021 18:00
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William M. Buttlicker, Scranton business magnate, calls Dunder Mifflin interested in buying millions worth of paper. Dwight, assuming its Jim playing a prank, blows off the call.
Upgrade fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Aug 10, 2021 |
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Aug 10, 2021 18:58
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Dunder Mifflin hires a new intern for the Scranton Branch, Jim's previously unmentioned 19 year old brother, Fenton. Fenton Halpert (Fen for short) takes Dwight aside on the first day and says that he knows Jim has been pranking him for years, but that pranks are stupid and waste of time. Fen and Dwight become quick friends and Dwight takes a mentorship role for him. Jim continually asks Fenton if he'd like to take off work early to "go smoke some cigs outside the laundromat" or take a long lunch "and freak out the squares", but Fenton just says he's enjoying work too much. Jim grows more enraged with each dismissal. After 6 months, Fenton has grown to be a beloved and respected member of the office. Even Stanley, famously indifferent, considers him a great colleague after Fenton administers insulin after Stanley nearly slips into a diabetic coma while on a sales call. Dwight presents Fenton with a mustard yellow shirt one day, along with a note that says "For the best intern we've ever had, may you wear this shirt with pride." On the final day of his internship, Fenton wears the shirt and most of the day is spent hugging everyone and saying how happy he was for the opportunity. Kevin cooks a giant vat of chili for everyone and Michael arranges for the pretzel wagon to appear. When Fenton argues that this is too much, Michael tearfully says that Fenton is "like the little brother we always wanted, without the sexiness of Ryan that just made things awkward, you know?" As 5 o'clock approaches Meredith asks Fenton if he's going back to school or moving on to another job. Fenton looks sad and doesn't meet her gaze, then just mutters that he's going home. A smug Jim stands up, then says "Oh, is that what you call it?" Meredith asks Jim what he means, and Jim prods Fenton to "tell them what you REALLY are, see how much they love you then." Fenton starts crying and begs Jim to stop doing this. "This wasn't the deal, you said you'd do this after everyone left." Jim starts laughing and shoves Fenton to the ground, prompting Dwight to stand up and push Jim aside. Jim continues to focus on Fenton, practically screaming at him now. Fenton can barely form words because he's crying so much, but Dwight grabs his hand and says that the whole office loves him and accepts him no matter what. Fenton goes on to explain that he's a part of Jim, a separate consciousness that he split off "to help come up with more pranks". That separate consciousness grew into Fenton, who had his own hopes and dreams. And, he says, hopefully a soul. Jim starts laughing even harder at this, then tells Fenton it's "time to come home." Jim's flesh starts shifting and changing and a large maw opens up in his chest. Fenton stands up, pushes Dwight's hand aside, and walks towards the maw. Tears stream down his cheeks as he tells everyone that he'll miss them. "You most of all, Dwight. Thanks for believing in me, thanks for letting me pretend I was human." Dwight reaches under his desk and grabs a ninja star, which he throws at Jim. It distracts Jim long enough for Dwight to grab Fenton and flee the office while the rest of Dunder Mifflin piles on Jim and holds him down. Dwight and Fenton reach Dwight's Trans Am and Dwight prepares to open the door. However, when he looks back, Fenton is starting to ooze and shift just like Jim. "Don't you get it Dwight? This was his prank. His prank on both of us." says Fenton as his body starts to ooze and run like melting candle wax. "But thank you for everything, Dwight. If souls exist, I think maybe you helped me get one. Jim says I'm just like a worm, but I don't think worms cry like this. I don't think they feel pain like this, either. Maybe I'll see you one day. Maybe I'll..." With that, Fenton's body turns into a puddle of liquid that sits in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot for a moment while Dwight stands there, silently. Dwight feels a cool breeze rush over his face, brushing his tears away. A bird chirps and Dwight knows, deep down, that Fenton did have a soul. He picks up the stained mustard yellow shirt, brown slacks, and dress shoes that Fenton left behind and places them in the trunk of his car. As he closes the trunk he says a silent prayer, despite not being a religious man at all. The next day, Jim asks Dwight if he "misses his little boyfriend, FART-on". Dwight sighs but then looks out the window, where a tiny goldfinch has set up a nest in a neighboring tree. "No, Jim, I think Fenton's doing alright."
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Aug 10, 2021 19:08
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As Jim leaves the restroom he loudly cautions the office "do NOT go in there!". Dwight scoffs at the warning and heads towards the bathroom. As he opens the door he is thrown backwards by a tidal wave of poo poo and urine. As the office floods and his coworkers begin to scream, Jim laughs at Dwight, saying he told him not to go in there.
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Aug 10, 2021 20:32
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A sobbing Jim falls on his knees before Dwight, begging him for forgiveness for almost a decade of childish pranks. A touched Dwight bends down tto help his friend stand back up and Jim headbutts him in the nuts.
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Aug 10, 2021 20:34
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Jim spins around so fast he drills a hole the the earth’s mantle, flooding the office with lava.
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Aug 10, 2021 20:56
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Jim pranks Dwight into unlocking the Lament Configuration resulting in Dwight being sent to the hell dimension
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Aug 10, 2021 21:01
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Jim drops a plastic ice cube with a fake fly in it, right into Dwight’s coffee. “Why would I even have ice in my coffee?” asks Dwight. Jim smirks at him.
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Aug 10, 2021 21:18
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A Fancy Hat posted:Dunder Mifflin hires a new intern for the Scranton Branch, Jim's previously unmentioned 19 year old brother, Fenton. Dwight cuts his friend off, "No, I won't let you die! I will find you help!" Dwight promises. "Fenton's ill! Everyone, please, come quick! Fenton's ill here! For the love of all that's good, Fenton's ill!" As Fenton dissolves into a liquid sludge Dwight pulls several lunch baggies out of his pockets (Dwight is always prepared for sandwich emergencies) and begins to scoop Fenton's liquifying form into them. "I can't get it all into these bags, there's too much! Fenton's ill!" As Fenton passes away his body quickly dries and becomes a powder, even the parts sealed in plastic baggies. A local DEA agent overhears and arrests a sobbing Dwight for trying to sell opioids in public.
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Aug 10, 2021 23:58
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jim springs from behind a filing cabinet and lashes dwight across the face and chest with a venomous snake, held by the tail
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Aug 11, 2021 00:13
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Jim punches his desk and breaks his wrist. The sound startles Dwight a bit.
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Aug 11, 2021 00:30
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Jim commits Identity theft against Dwight, as a joke.
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Aug 11, 2021 00:37
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Deki posted:Jim commits Identity theft against Dwight, as a joke. Dwight mugs the camera
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Aug 11, 2021 00:44
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Jim sets up a Punji trap underneath Dwight's desk one night after work. Dwight arrives just to notice the crude leaf camouflage hiding the trap, and he wonders to himself about what Jim could actually accomplish if he didn't waste so much time on his dumb pranks. Jim arrives shortly after and asks Dwight how he likes the Prank. Dwight, still staring at his desk and wondering how he's going to safely recover his work computer and belongings, states that it wasn't that good of a prank, and that it obviously failed. "Is that so?" chuckles jim as he slowly pulls out two air horns.
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Aug 11, 2021 00:56
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Jim builds a huge trapdoor under the entire Dunder Mifflin building. As soon as Dwight arrives at work Jim pulls a string and the building plummets to the bottom of a 100ft pit. Jim mugs the camera in freefall moments before he’s killed by a falling girder. Dwight is miraculously unharmed.
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Aug 11, 2021 01:53
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Dunder Mifflin stages a contest among its employees to come up with a company mascot. Jim and Pam spend much of the lunch hour coming up with ideas. Dwight, in his typical no-nonsense fashion, finds the whole idea to be unproductive and silly. Later that evening, Jim pushes Dwight down a flight of 27 concrete stairs.
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Aug 11, 2021 02:52
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Jim watches Kill Bill Vol 2. The next day he releases a deadly black mamba into Dwight's farmhouse.
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Aug 11, 2021 03:21
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Jim pays off the US National Debt with a credit card in Dwight's name
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Aug 11, 2021 03:36
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Jim puts a hard-drive containing terabytes of child pornography on Dwight's computer. When asked where he even got that for the prank he simply says 'you know, the place'. Jim mugs at the closed circuit camera in the prison
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Aug 11, 2021 03:37
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Jim sells his soul to the devil in exchange for immortality. He signs Dwight's name on the last page of the contract.
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Aug 11, 2021 03:39
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Dwight comes into work to find his desk missing. He demands Jim tell him where the desk is, but Jim just smirks. As Dwight wanders, however, Jim mutters "Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Cold." Dwight realizes that Jim is playing a game with him. Dwight starts moving to Jim's directions. "Warmer, warmer, hotter, hot!" Dwight is standing outside the men's bathroom. "Hot! Hot!" Dwight enters. Somehow, Jim is now inside the bathroom, squatting on top of Dwight's desk with his pants around his ankles. "Hot!" A fireball erupts from Jim's mouth, instantly immolating Dwight and leaving just a comical pair of smoking shoes. Jim pulls out a newspaper as he stays perched over Dwight's desk, then looks at the camera. "Little privacy here?" he asks.
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Aug 11, 2021 03:59
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sexpig by night posted:Jim puts a hard-drive containing terabytes of child pornography on Dwight's computer. When asked where he even got that for the prank he simply says 'you know, the place'. I wanted to post this but I was worried about getting probed for crossing some kind of invisible bad taste line, thanks for making it unnecessary for me!
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Aug 11, 2021 04:06
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Jim calls Dwight "Baloon Boy" but Dwight is just confused and asks Jim "what?". Jim mugs the camera.
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Aug 11, 2021 04:31
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Dwight is feeling a little under the weather and decides to take the elevator instead of the stairs up. When the doors open a tidal wave of blood spews out. Jim's exsanguinated cadaver mugs for the camera.
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Aug 11, 2021 05:13
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Jim takes out a second mortgage to build a controlled climate greenhouse where he starts selectively breeding bananas. The end result are bananas that emit about 10x the normal amount of radioactive isotopes than the standard cultivar. Every morning for several years Jim brings Dwight a banana for breakfast. Some time in his 60s, Dwight develops terminal lymphoma. Jim mugs the nurse administering Dwight's chemotherapy. She gives him a concerned smile back.
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Aug 11, 2021 05:41
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Dwight’s life got flipped (turned upside down) when a couple guys, who Jim paid to be rude, started to give Dwight a bunch of attitude. It was fun to prank Dwight, but his dog scared and Meredith had to be taken to the hospital.
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Aug 11, 2021 06:20
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Every day Jim removes one atom from Dwight's stapler until it no longer exists.
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Aug 11, 2021 06:40
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| # ? May 14, 2024 15:25 |
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I wanted to post this but I was worried about getting probed for crossing some kind of invisible bad taste line, thanks for making it unnecessary for me! you can post whatever you want in the Prank Workshop
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Aug 11, 2021 09:49
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