BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

«‹›1996 »

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

Pungry posted:

C for Alpha, D for Beta. I, uh, definitely do not own the first three Lumineers albums on CD. Not me. It's time to take down indie music for their crimes. And I would definitely do something stupid to try and defuse the situation in Beta.

Called it for Beta. I knew Pungry would do something like that.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 01:02

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# ? May 28, 2024 06:34

shepard.shouldgo: Feb 2, 2016

Pash posted:

Alpha
A. The Twin Cities Triad must pay for their crimes!

Clearly we are out of control and must be stopped.

Beta
D. Attempt to defuse tensions with a emotional dance

This feels to me like what Pungry would do in this situation.

This

# ? Aug 10, 2021 01:09

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

The Twin City Triad must pay. Scotty and Hammond In the Morning was the only radio show actually worth tuning into and those cheapskates at KKIX wouldn't pay them what they were worth.

While we're at it, trust Tybalt. It's not that I trust Tybalt more, but rather that McD cannot be trusted under any circumstances.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 01:36

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

We spent literally years hunting down that freaking gyros. And now you're talking about settling for a damned plum?

# ? Aug 10, 2021 01:50

Zodiac5000: Jun 19, 2006; Protects the Pack!; Doctor Rope

Pash posted:

Alpha
A. The Twin Cities Triad must pay for their crimes!

Clearly we are out of control and must be stopped.

Beta
D. Attempt to defuse tensions with a emotional dance

This feels to me like what Pungry would do in this situation.

I'm not sure I endorse punishing us for any alleged crimes committed, but I do agree that Forzelt and Pash are out of control.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 04:23

CirclMastr: Jul 4, 2010

Alpha
B. Pungry needs one of those newfangled internet radios with the premium subscription for ad-free listening.

Beta
D. With a working radio, Pungry is all set to solve this problem through the power of dance!

# ? Aug 10, 2021 04:56

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

B for Alpha, C for Beta.

I can already tell Wood isn't worth the gamble this season. Send him to the minors, have Vance take his spot in the rotation, bring up Clarkson to LR.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 05:53

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

a plum sounDs nice, and it's important to truct your instinCts.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 17:51

KungFu Grip: Jun 18, 2008

Alpha
A.

Beta
D.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 18:15

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

Alpha B
Beta C

# ? Aug 10, 2021 20:10

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

Sub-Par League XIX, Week 2, The Chancers Won Four Straight? That Can�t Be Right
Games of the Week

quote:

SEAN DOOLITTLE FAILS TO SPEAK TO SPIDERS, GETS EATEN IN 8-7 LOSS TO FORMER OMBUDSMAN
Dr. Doolittle is a cautionary tale (or tail if you�re a groan-inducing comedy writer) about an unmarried man who learns to speak to animals via his parrot, opens a vet clinic, nearly goes bankrupt, steals a ship to travel to Africa to solve a monkey epidemic, gets robbed by pirates on the way back, and is forced to perform in the circus until he�s able to retire some many years later because he was still so poor after the trip. Centralia Corgis� relief pitcher Sean Doolittle could�ve avoided performing in the circus, but, after blowing a two run lead in the top of the eighth, he might as well be DFC�d now (designated for circus).

Not that it was all Sean�s fault. Sure, he gave up an RBI single to Willie Keeler to make it a 6-5 ballgame, but Craig Kimbrel shares some of the blame for giving up the crushing 2 RBI single to Joe Torre that gave the Spiders a 7-6 lead. A sacrifice fly from Gabby Hartnett that scored Mazus the Merciless gave the Spiders an important insurance run that prevented Stan Musial�s leadoff homerun in the bottom of the ninth from doing more damage than it did. Trevor Hoffman closed the door on the Corgis, and they fell to 2-4 in one-run ballgames. A poor statistic that belies the team�s early bullpen issues.

Former Super League ombudsman and Glass Spiders� owner FairGame had mixed feelings at his press conference. �It is a tragedy of justice that I should even be down here in the mire of sub-par misery. The ombudsman of the Super League cannot bloom in the dark swamp. A pox on those who have cursed me upon a black star. Mazus the Merciless shall live up to his name and I shall be back above in due time. Mark my words.�

Jampact, the owner of the Centralia Corgis, threatened to withhold future pictures of Hype should her team continue to struggle in one-run games. �Now, I�m not saying that Pungry explicitly has an anti-Cubs bias, but it seems awfully suspicious that my bullpen full of former Cubs is doing so poorly. I�m sure Smasher would love to hear about any possible anti-Cubs commissionering, if such a thing was happening. But I�m sure it isn�t, and these sort of one-run losses will sort themselves out eventually. Or I�ll sort him out,� Jampact said at her press conference, before siccing Hype on the reporters and ending the press conference.

quote:

FINAL DONSLAUGHT LIVES UP TO HIS NAME AS FINAL OUT AS GOATS� COMEBACK FALLS JUST SHORT IN 6-5 LOSS
The Oklahoma City Bombers have been in the Super League long enough to know that you cannot trust Rollie Fingers at any time. Going into the ninth, the Bombers had built a 6-2 lead thanks to Joe Williams� solid 7.0 innings, 1 run start, but Fingers nearly burned it all down. A one-out RBI single from Paul Waner cut the lead to 6-3, then Ted, not Thed, Williams launched a two run homerun with two outs to make it a 6-5 ballgame, and bring up The Final Donslaught with the tying run at the plate. Donslaught worked the count full before striking out to a Fingers� Frisbee, ending the Horny Goats� comeback, and giving the Bombers the win.

Mentholmoose, the Bombers� owner, defended his closer in his post-game interview. �Listen, Rollie has always had everything under his control. Everything he does is carefully calculated. Think back to the Marauder days. The Merry Marauder�s Fingers would purposely blow saves to his alt�s teams so that they could all eventually meet up in the World Series. It�s no different here. No, I�m not saying I�m the alt of Marauder as well. Probably. At least I�m not Mooseontheloose�s alt, as was demonstrably proven when I defeated him in Moose-tal Combat all those years ago. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Bombers 4 life.�

Forzelt�s Horny Goats appeared to have been shaken by the loss, as the team went on to lose every game in a brutal 0-6 week after it started off with this near-comeback. �I�ve never been one for optimism, being born in South Dakota and a part of a triad of �friends� that refuse to pick each other up from the bar. Heck, I fled for Hawaii the first chance I got. The Final Donslaught was the Final Donsl-out today, but he�ll get chances to make up for it,� said Forzelt. �I just hope he does better with these chances than a certain someone out there who I�d like to send through a thresher.�

quote:

BOKONONISTS IRONICALLY-ON-PURPOSE FALL SHORT IN 12-11 LOSS TO SENADORES
According to Wikipedia, the only place to learn about what happens in novels on high school required reading lists, Kurt Vonnegut�s novel Cat�s Cradle ends with the leader of a religion saying that, if he was a younger man, he�d place a book about human stupidity at the top of a nearby mountain and commit suicide while thumbing his nose at God. Well, Monicro is young enough to be able to do that, as their team, the San Lorenzo Bokonists, seemed to purposefully fall one run short of tying the San Juan Senadores in a 12-11 loss. Cal Ripken struck out looking to end the game right after Joe Dimaggio hit a solo homerun to make it a one run ballgame, and oystertoadfish�s Senadores hung on.

�See, you just don�t get it, man,� said Monicro in their postgame interview. �Just think about the themes our team touched on in our performance. Futility in the face of death, self-awareness as to the humor in it all, losing to the impoverished and uncultured island nation of San Juan, and nine players in the lineup a la the ice-nine in Bokono�s mouth. I�m going to get an A this quarter in AP English from Miss Sparks this year simply by showing her the results of this fantasy fantasy baseball simulation. It is truly the most post-modern and intellectual work anyone at Anime High School has ever seen.�

oystertoadfish seemed to have his mind on things other than the game. �I just really hope we can parlay our hot start to a playoff spot in the Sub-Par and earn a rightful promotion to the Super League. In the Australian Football League, you can finish first in your division, and still lose your chance to make the playoffs by finishing third in your quadrant, or twelfth in your circumference,� said the Senadores� owner. �It�s really quite simple. You need only earn at a tuppence pace every fourthnight in order to take home a playoff spot in the matrix, then continue that pace while beating off other-dimensional foes to win the parallel world ballasts, and once that�s clinched you�ve basically won your kumquat and a championship is soon to follow. Just take a look at this simple flowchart I�ve made highlighting how it all works.�
oystertoadfish then held up said flowchart, which drove most of the reporters in the room to madness, and I dare not attempt to recreate it lest I succumb as well.

Try scoring 19 runs every game instead of just one game.

Babe Ruth refuses to bunt. I think it�s time to get this loser off the bastards of Buntsville.

Some guy named Ken Hill has a 0.00 ERA through 6 innings on a team with a collective ERA of 5.07. That�s wild.

Finally a day off for the overtaxed Corgis. Hype brings some energy, but not sure this team could last much longer without one.

Walter Johnson is killing Pedro Martinez out of spite for not being in the rotation.

That Mazus guy sure knows how to hit homeruns and nothing else.

I may have to adjust the Final Donslaught�s numbers. Rough week.

What a fascinating Jekyll and Hyde team. Everyone else in the sub-par loves some one-run games, but these guys just play blowouts!

If you go 4-2 for the entire season, you�ll probably win the league.

I know the pain of having 3 players hitting under .170 in the starting lineup, as a Mariners fan.

Beet takes round one of the veteran super league owner grudge match.

6-0 in one-run games and a 5-7 pythag probably means regression eventually but ride the wave while you�re on it. Team of destiny?

The cat�s in the cradle with a silver spoon / Monicro ought to call up Bobby Abreu

That Speaker injury is unfortunate considering he�s hitting at an MVP level, and Cy Young candidate Jim McCormick can only pitch every five days.

Jesus Christ, Mickey Cochrane. Single-handedly carrying this team.

Four game win streak! Hell yeah.

You�ve tried outscoring your pitching, but have you tried outscoring them more? Going to be hard with Cochrane out.

Stan Musial loving sucks compared to Cochrane! Get your act together! You think a .453 OBP is going to save the stick club?

This team does not fear the reaper of never scoring runs, that�s for sure.

When every player on your lineup has an OBP over .320, you�re doing something right.

Standings

# ? Aug 10, 2021 20:39

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

The Googs and the Izzys are tied for first, as it should be.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 21:23

Izzysaurus: Mar 20, 2021

Mariano Rivera to IL
Move everyone in the bullpen up a place (Nathan to Closer, Ryan to Setup, etc.)
Seaver to Long Relief
Bring up Walter Johnson to #2 Starter.

Thank youuu

# ? Aug 10, 2021 21:34

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

How the hell did I score 18 runs in a game and lose?

# ? Aug 10, 2021 21:40

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XXXI, Week 3 Injury Report

Eagle Creek Firebears
Joe Benz (SP) (Nah) - 96 days

Khartoum Doom
Barry Bonds (LF) (TRADITION!) - 12 days

Suez Tugboats
Joe Jackson (OF) (WELCOME TO THE SUPER-LEAGUE!) - 195 days

The Hague Honkbalers
Jimmie Foxx (1B) (NO POWER HITTERS FOR MKS5000! NOT EVEN ONE!) - 12 days

Walney Rakers
Ted Wilks (RP) (ok) - 76 days

World Warriors
Maniac Magee (OF) (Justice for Yoshida!) - 26 days

Pick 'em: Apathy

Grand Slam Championships
Raleigh Red Pandas (c) @ SanSan Outlaws

Omni-Titles
Khartoum Doom (c) @ Minnesota Gov't Dogs

# ? Aug 10, 2021 23:20

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

Pandas & Doom continue to win.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 23:23

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Champs retain, such is the age'd quatrain, which I shall not explain.

# ? Aug 10, 2021 23:51

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

HulkaMatt posted:

Pandas & Doom continue to win.

yeah

# ? Aug 11, 2021 00:04

KungFu Grip: Jun 18, 2008

HulkaMatt posted:

Pandas & Doom continue to win.

# ? Aug 11, 2021 00:05

TheFlyingLlama: Jan 2, 2013; You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?

champs retain

# ? Aug 11, 2021 00:33

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Pick em: champs retain.

# ? Aug 11, 2021 00:35

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

Pandas and Government Dogs

# ? Aug 11, 2021 00:39

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

Pick 'em: Apathy

Grand Slam Championships
Raleigh Red Pandas (c)

Omni-Titles
Minnesota Gov't Dogs

# ? Aug 11, 2021 00:43

CirclMastr: Jul 4, 2010

Champs retain

# ? Aug 11, 2021 00:54

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Chaaaaaamps retain

# ? Aug 11, 2021 01:03

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

champs

# ? Aug 11, 2021 01:10

Forzelt: Jul 23, 2012; Variance? Fuck that noise.

Pick 'em: Apathy

Grand Slam Championships
Raleigh Red Pandas (c)

Omni-Titles
Khartoum Doom (c)

# ? Aug 11, 2021 01:32

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Red Pandas
Government

# ? Aug 11, 2021 01:39

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Swap Mel Rojas and Bob Shawkey in the pen, and Roger Peckinpaugh and Billy Rogell in the lineup, please and thanks. May the Snekis provide for you and yours.

# ? Aug 11, 2021 01:56

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

Champs lose

# ? Aug 11, 2021 02:16

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

Minnesota takes other goobers retain

# ? Aug 11, 2021 02:26

KungFu Grip: Jun 18, 2008

how long is my pedro martinez out for

# ? Aug 11, 2021 03:19

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

KungFu Grip posted:

how long is my pedro martinez out for

6 days.

# ? Aug 11, 2021 03:21

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

frankenfreak posted:

champs

# ? Aug 11, 2021 04:25

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pick'Em: Champs retain.

# ? Aug 11, 2021 06:08

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

Champs retain

# ? Aug 11, 2021 08:44

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

Ah poo poo. Well I guess it's a good thing I drafted Duke Snider in the offseason. Duke Snider to CF for the month, please.

# ? Aug 11, 2021 13:27

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Pick'em

Outlaws and Doom are champions after this week.

# ? Aug 11, 2021 16:52

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

Sub-Par League XIX, Week 3 Injury Report

Krakow Dragons
Juan Marichal (SP) (The contract has been sealed. And so has his fate.) - 86 days

Winnipeg Baseball Club
Willie Mays (CF) (In order to put the W in the logo, your team has stolen the W from Mays' name, making him "Illie" Mays) - 52 days

That's it! All other injuries are under two weeks.

Pungry fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Aug 11, 2021

# ? Aug 11, 2021 18:05

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# ? May 28, 2024 06:34

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

Pungry posted:

Krakow Dragons
Juan Marichal (SP) (The contract has been sealed. And so has his fate.) - 86 days

He's cursed, I tell you! Cursed!

Line-up change

Replace Marichal with Bret Saberhagen
Make Fergie Jenkins the new LR

Pick em

Champs retain

Story Time
ALPHA - A
BETA - B

# ? Aug 11, 2021 18:32

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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