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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:you can post whatever you want in the Prank Workshop Jim logs into Dwight's favorite forum using Dwight's username and password (he was able to guess the password was Beets123!) and posts goatse in the prank workshop thread. The prank backfires though and Dwight DOESN'T get probated because of a mod rule that all posts in the prank workshop thread are allowed. An enraged Jim logs off and walks past Dwight and shoves his chair forward aggressively, causing Dwight to spill the coffee he was holding all over his important papers.
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Aug 11, 2021 12:35
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| # ? May 31, 2024 14:37 |
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There's a massive thunderstorm at Dunder Mifflin and Dwight rushes outside to make sure everyone's windows are rolled up. When he does, he's confronted by a strange, enigmatic man. The man explains that he's from 30 years in the future. Jim attempts his ultimate prank on Dwight in 3 years, unleashing 2 "pranking robots" that end up destroying most of humanity as part of Jim's twisted sense of humor. The future is now a living hell of pranks, where nobody can relax for even 5 seconds without getting pranked by one of these twin robots. The only course of action is for Dwight to either kill Jim right now or to prepare for the pranking robots and prevent them from unleashing their wave of destruction. Dwight argues against killing Jim, worrying that the butterfly effect may cause a worse outcome. Also, he adds, Jim has survived being killed "7 or 8 times now, at least". The man agrees to return in 3 years and help Dwight battle the pranking robots. They shake hands and part ways. Once Dwight is back in the office the man enters his time machine and returns home, happy to have met his father before his death. When Dwight returns to his desk, Jim stares at him before remarking that Dwight "smells of time travel". Dwight dismisses this, saying that he's been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately. Three years pass quickly, with Dwight having trained in every form of anti-prank self defense imaginable. In addition, he watched every youtube prank channel to prepare for the most cruel and heinous pranks imaginable. Jim's pranking robots show up in the office one day and immediately begin their mission when one of them Pam that she looks like a beautiful flower. "A cauliflower", adds the 2nd robot. Dwight has prepared for this, and tells both the robots that their flies are open. When the robots look down at their smooth, metal crotches, Dwight yells out "Sike!" and the robots begin to overheat from embarrassment. Dwight then finishes the job by telling them that the word gullible was just written on the ceiling. When they look up, Dwight prepares his smuggest look. The smugness radiates off of him and destroys both of the robots. With that, Dwight begins to celebrate. However, his future son then appears, apologizing for being late. Dwight tells him not to worry, the robots have been beaten. His son quickly looks over the destroyed robots and feels his stomach drop. "Dwight, these aren't the robots that destroyed the world. We must have altered the past already! Mom warned me this might happen!" Suddenly, there is an explosion outside. Dwight and his son rush to the window and see Kevin's car has been covered in sour cream and onions. Jim and Pam stand over the car. Jim looks up at the window and waves at Dwight and his son, then lifts up his floppy hair. His brain is encased in a glass dome - Jim has turned himself into a cyborg. Cyber-Jim mugs for the camera as Dwight and his future son realize the battle that lay before them.
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Aug 11, 2021 13:03
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Using an obscure law in Scranton's charter Jim purchases Dwight as an indentured servant for $15 and a bucket of molasses. Darryl is incredibly offended when he hears about this several days later and bodyslams Jim into the ground, severely injuring him. Meredith helps Dwight escape to Canada.
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Aug 11, 2021 13:17
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An overly-excited Jim tells Dwight that he can beat him at any contest imaginable. Dwight, seeing a golden opportunity, challenges Jim to a "Being Dwight" contest, where the winner is the person who's the most like Dwight Schrute. Jim alters his DNA to become a perfect copy of Dwight, but then grows bored with pranking and decides to finish up work before going home for a glass of beet juice and an episode of Battlestar Galactica. Dwight is at first content with this, until Jim-Dwight shows up at Schrute Farms (now dressed exactly like Dwight), saying that HE deserves the farm as much as anyone else, since he's "100% Dwight now". Jim-Dwight and Dwight get into a massive brawl and Angela appears with a shotgun. Both Dwights say that they are the true Dwight and tell her to shoot the other one. One of the Dwights says "Monkey, you know it's me." and Angela shoots the other Dwight, content that only the true Dwight would know that nickname. Angela prays that she made the right decision as she hugs Dwight. She stares at him for a moment, worried that he's a little more smug than usual. But no, it's just her imagination. It must be.
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Aug 11, 2021 13:55
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Jim replaces Dwight's mouse, keyboard, stapler, etc with cakes that look like stuff, from the meme that was really popular two years ago because that's how long it takes for an episode of television to be produced generally
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Aug 11, 2021 14:08
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Jim replaces Dwight's morning coffee with a tall mug of hot dog cum
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Aug 11, 2021 14:42
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Jim replaces Dwight's morning tall mug of dog cum with coffee
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Aug 11, 2021 14:48
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While suffering from a bit of insomnia, Dwight turns on the TV and absent-mindedly flips through the channels. He reaches Scranton's local access channel (WSCR Channel 16) and is shocked to discover Jim staring back at him. Dwight watches for a moment and realizes that Jim is hosting a serious debate between himself and a local Scranton councilman over the construction of a new gas station near a residential area. "Councilman Brown, what I think you don't understand is that many of us have children who will be walking past this gas station to get to school. The traffic nightmare -" "You're being dramatic, Mr. Halpert." "No, no. The traffic NIGHTMARE at rush hour means that my children will be walking past this gas station as dozens of cars zoom in and out. Not to mention larger vehicles with blind spots that my children could very easily fall prey to." "Mr. Halpert, I certainly hope your children understand the rules of the road. We can't... we can't be babysitting them at all times. This is no more dangerous than any other commercial business." Dwight sits in a daze and Jim appears like a completely different person. Confident, motivated, and passionate about his neighborhood. As he watches, he swears he makes eye contact with Jim for a second, and Jim shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "Uhhh, actually, councilman, you have a little mustard on your shirt, there." The councilman looks down and Jim punches him in the face with a now boxing glove-covered hand. "Gotcha bitch! I hope you do build the gas station and my kids get run over! Wocka wocka!" Dwight shuts off the TV and goes back up to bed. Jim sighs as the frustrated councilman leaves the set, threatening to sue Jim for assault.
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Aug 11, 2021 14:54
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Dwight's walls start bleeding again. "poo poo," he says to Angela. "Has it really been 3 years already?" Angela checks her calendar and confirms that yes, it has been three years since Jim's last incursion into the mortal realm. The blood begins to move on the wall, spelling out the phrase "HEY DWIGHT YOU WANT A HERTZ DONUT?" Dwight, realizing that the haunting has already begun and that there's little he can do except to weather it for another 36 hours, responds affirmatively. A giant spectral fist flies out of the wall and hits Dwight in the balls. He crumples over in pain. A window shatters in the living room and the cracks running through the glass spell out "HURTS DON'T IT?" In the beet field, human bones that have been buried deep underground for thousands of years begin to worm their way to the surface.
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Aug 11, 2021 15:08
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Jim buys Dwight a lego set that comes in an unmarked box, and as Dwight begins to build it he realizes it's a replica of his own home. He completes the build in a single night, shocked at the attention to detail. Was this a custom job that Jim ordered? Dwight finally places the mini-fig of himself in the tiny living room, completing the build at almost 3 am. Except there's one more plastic bag in the box. How did he miss that one? Dwight tears it open, it's a Jim minifig. It even comes with accessories - a knife and a "List of Pranks" printed on a 2x2 tile. Dwight cautiously puts the Jim minifig in the attic of the house. When he does, he swears he hears footsteps in the attic. Alarmed, Dwight quickly removes the Jim figure from the lego attic (did it move a few spaces from where he set it?) and the footsteps stop. Dwight instead sets the minifig inside a ring box, closes it, and sets the ring box on the top shelf of his bookcase. The next day, Jim isn't at work and a worried Pam explains that Jim went to bed with her around 10 pm. When she woke up he was gone. Dwight shivers and says that he's sure Jim will turn up soon. The next day, the police begin to investigate Jim's disappearance but find nothing for weekss. Dwight finally builds up the courage to open the ring box and is shocked by the smell of rot that blasts him in the face the moment he opens it. The figure is now a lego skeleton minifig. Dwight puts it back in the ring box, drives into downtown Scranton, and tosses the whole thing down into the sewer. The next day the news reports that Jim Halpert's skeletal remains were found in the sewers of Scranton, encased in a giant box. The police have no leads at this point. Dwight cries himself to sleep as the 11 o'clock news shows the only piece of evidence, a skeleton lego minifig which grins (smugly) at the camera.
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Aug 11, 2021 16:04
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It is a beautiful Sunday in Scranton and Dwight is walking with Angela through Tripp Park. They pass by the playground, where the ringing of children’s laughter rings in their ears. Dwight thinks that it might be time to raise some children with Angela and is just about to raise the question with her, when he sees something odd. Jim is on the playground watching his two children, CeCe and Philip. Dwight stands in a daze and Jim appears like a completely different person. Confident, motivated, and passionate about his children. As he watches, he swears he makes eye contact with Jim for a second, and Jim shifts uncomfortably just before going down the slide. Instead of carefully helping CeCe slide down, Jim’s face contorts into a smug grin and he shouts with false enthusiasm, “Who wants to slide through the center of the Earth? Choo choo!” The playground erupts in chaos and horror as the ground at the bottom of the slide turns into a bottomless pit, from which the stench of sulfur and wails of pain come. Jim slides down with his screaming kids and they disappear into the ground. Pam, crying, rushes to the hole, but Dwight surges forward to hold her back. Her husband and child are gone. Several minutes later, Jim walks up behind them, and cranes his neck past them to see what they’re looking at. “Weird hole, huh?” In surprise Dwight and Pam spin around to see Jim, apparently unchanged except for a slight trail of smoke rising from his clothes, looking at them with a smirk. After a minute, Jim leans close to Dwight and whispers, “Why did you have to come here? This is my sanctuary. The one place I can be free of you, the pranks, the compulsion! Why?!” Dwight is startled and steps back. For a second he teeters on the edge of the bottomless pit, but catches his balance and sets forward. Jim, holding back tears, smirks at him, but Jim’s eyes are pleading for the sweet release of death.
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Aug 11, 2021 16:51
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Jim strips nude and coats himself in baby oil, then hides in the men's bathroom at Dunder Mifflin. "Dwight's never gonna catch me now." He laughs to himself, unaware that it's Saturday. Dwight sleeps in a little bit, then he and Angela go apple picking with Kevin. The next day, he continues work on his non-profit dedicated to eradicating childhood obesity. He, Angela, and Mose share a dinner of grilled beets over basmati rice. On Monday, Dwight is the first person in the office and stops in the bathroom while his computer boots up. A trembling, starving, dehydrated Jim weakly leaps at him. "B-b-boo! Booooo! Can't... you can't.... oh... oh it's spinny in here. Dwight, you need to get me to a hospital." Dwight is forced to carry a slightly greasy Jim into his car and drive him to the hospital. Jim weakly mugs for the camera, happy to have inconvenienced Dwight.
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Aug 11, 2021 17:26
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Dwight solves the prime number theorem but Jim changes the foundations of mathematics.
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Aug 12, 2021 00:05
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Dwight spends his nights and weekends rebuilding the aging orphanage with lumber and hardware that was raised by his “Beets for Hope” fundraising campaign last year. The entire cohort of thirty children have grown to admire and respect Dwight, although he has politely declined all of their attempts to give him public thanks or recognition for his diligent work. “I’m not doing this for fame,” he murmurs over and over again, “It’s just the right thing to do.” On the day of the orphanage’s grand re-opening, Dwight doesn’t make it to the ribbon cutting ceremony because Jim drunkenly slashed his tires the night before. And peed into the gas tank.
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Aug 12, 2021 00:39
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The next day the orphanage catches fire.
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Aug 12, 2021 01:20
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Witnesses report a "floppy-haired man" smugly leaving the scene.
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Aug 12, 2021 01:29
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poisonpill posted:Witnesses report a "floppy-haired man" smugly leaving the scene. A slender, floppy-haired man?
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Aug 12, 2021 01:30
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Yes. A slender, floppy-haired man with a distinctive facial expression burned down the orphanage. When questioned, he gave the name of "Dwight Shrute," although we think this to be an alias.
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Aug 12, 2021 02:39
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Two women invite Dwight over for drinks but when he is drunk they tie his arms and legs and stab him multiple times as part of a magic spell to summon Jim so they can marry him. The two women are Meredith and Pam. Meredith has to be sent to the crazy hospital.
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Aug 12, 2021 02:52
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Jim bashes Dwight in the face with a loving 2x4, shattering his nose, knocking out most of his teeth, and fracturing his jaw. "APRIL FOOLS!", Jim screams. It’s the middle of August. Meredith has to be taken to the ER and the psych ward after eating broken glass due to her Munchausen’s syndrome.
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Aug 12, 2021 03:16
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Jim is proceeding straight through a four-way stop. Dwight signals he wishes to turn left. Jim makes a gesture indicating Dwight may proceed with his turn through the intersection. Dwight nods a thanks, and begins his turn. When Dwight reaches the middle of the intersection, Jim accelerates and T-Bones Dwight's car. When the police arrive Jim insists he had the right-of-way and has no idea what Dwight was thinking.
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Aug 12, 2021 03:56
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Jim holds eye contact with Dwight for an uncomfortable period of time while suggestively licking his lips.
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Aug 12, 2021 04:07
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Jim holds eye contact with Dwight for an uncomfortable period of time while suggestively licking his own lips.
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Aug 12, 2021 10:53
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For weeks during promos, Jim has been calling Dwight "Balloon Boy" and challenging him to a match at Solstice Slam, the upcoming PPV event. Dwight, expecting trickery from the heel Jim, nevertheless feels compelled to accept and agrees to terms of a hardcore, falls count anywhere match that's SURE to be the highlight of the night. The match opens with BOTH men trading some powerful shots and well timed moves, they both look in excellent form and are really letting each other have it. When it appears no one can gain the upper hand, Jim eventually sneaks out to ringside and procures a ladder from under the ring which was supposed to be used for an upcoming briefcase match, but now he's got it and viciously knocks Dwight to the canvas! Is Dwight down for good??! Jim slowly sets up the ladder and begins climbing it to the growing cries from the crowd. Once at the top, he mugs directly into the camera and then hits a flawless Halpert Splash, perhaps his most devastating finishing move. The crowd erupts. Screams of "Oh my GOD" and "Call an ambulance" erupt from the announcers table. Jim moves to make the cover on Dwight, ending this once and for all. It's 1..2...AND A KICK OUT BY DWIGHT! NO!! NOOO!! Jim flies up off of him, enraged and stunned. He's slapping his own face and tearing at his own hair in a blind fit of madness. This shouldn't be possible. He turns back toward - AND IS HIT WITH THE SCHRUTE-BOOT The Ultimate Blow from Dwight! It flips him completely over the ropes and now BOTH men are down, this is incredible. The crowd is in an absolute frenzy. Jim realizes he needs to buy time, and since falls count anywhere begins making his way back up the ramp and Dwight pursues him. The men grapple and fight through the dressing room and various hallways, using various props as weapons, leaving both men staggering, bloody messes. It is truly a fight for the ages. Finally, at what must surely be the finale, Jim emerges from an access panel on the roof of the arena hosting the event. He has nowhere left to run. It's time to finish this. Dwight appears behind him and yet again the two men engage, letting Jim irish whip Dwight into a nearby AC unit on the roof, stunning him. But, what's this? What's all this...extra equipment nearby? Jim has begun to hoist Dwight onto his shoulders to suplex him, right onto the...oh no, oh my god! It's the pyro they were going to set off after the show! Jim, NO! Jim mugs to the camera and slams Dwight to HELL directly into the explosives. There is an earth shattering explosion as all of the pyro sets off at once in a spectacular display. People inside the arena are literally fainting from the excitement and running through the aisles, but the announce table team is clearly shaken, this, this wasn't in the actual script for the match. Something has gone seriously wrong. "Ladies and gentlemen, I...we.." With this the broadcast cuts out for several seconds and then is eventually replaced with a soft focus shot of what appears to be some sort of...cloud bank? ...No...it's...it's the gates of Heaven itself. Dwight and Jim have spotted each other after their deaths and have begun trading heavy right hands directly in front of St. Peter himself, this is incredible. St. Peter moves to stop this brutal onslaught. Jim and Dwight exchange a brief glance, then team up to use St. Peter as a battering ram to knock down the gates of Heaven themselves and go tumbling into the Throne room before the Lord himself. The Lord, seeing all this, raises his hand to welcome his children home. Dwight and Jim again briefly exchange glances, and then team up to pull God from his Throne, stomping and kicking him as he lays on the floor, choirs of angels screaming and blaring trumpets in either panic or ecstasy, it's impossible to know. Finally, Jim and Dwight BOTH mug the invisible choir then perform simultaneous elbow drops on the prostrate Father Of Heaven, and pin him, becoming Co-Champions of Creation. Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 12:47 on Aug 12, 2021 |
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Aug 12, 2021 11:47
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Jim announces that he's going to be starring in a new local production of "The Music Man" and he wants everyone to show up. Dwight mentions that that's more of an Andy thing, not something Jim has shown interest in before. "Who the hell is Andy?" replies Jim. Jim's right, there's nobody in the office named Andy. Dwight could have sworn there was a weird, angry guy who later mellowed out and then turned into a totally different person. "Hey, Earth to Dwight, you're zoning out there, pal! You want some of my famous chili? Or maybe I can burn another pita in the toaster oven?" Dwight swears he remembers someone named Kevin making chili, and someone named Ryan starting a fire. Hell, Dwight swears he remembers singing a song about that. How did the lyrics go again? Jim started the fire? No, that's not right at all. But, Dwight remembers, this has been a two-man operation since day one. Jim and Dwight, running the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin together. But they're both salesmen, right? How the hell do two salesmen run an entire branch? The accounting alone... you'd need 2 people for that. 3 if one of them was kind of dumb. Not to mention Quality Assurance. But, Dwight remembers, there was that time a lewd Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse watermark got out on some shipments of paper. That's right... Jim almost got in trouble for that. Dwight excuses himself to go splash some water on his face and calm down, thinking he must have had too much coffee or something. Once Dwight is out of sight, Jim lifts his shirt up. His chest is covered in screaming faces, the faces of the rest of Dunder Mifflin. He pokes and prods at them, torturing them. Dwight opens the bathroom door and Jim quickly tucks his shirt back in. "Hey Dwight, you want to get a little SOUL food for lunch?" Jim smiles, smugly, and taps away at a keyboard that's not attached to anything.
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Aug 12, 2021 13:04
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Dwight plays as a spy in TF2, unaware that Jim is a pyro main
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Aug 12, 2021 13:15
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Jim starts calling Dwight "balloon boy." Later, Dwight is terrified when his coworkers start to go missing. No one seems to remember them. One by one they disappear until it is just Dwight and Jim in an empty office. "Keep talking, Jim, keep talking so I know you're still here," says Dwight. But there's no reply. Dwight turns around to see Jim has vanished as well. Dwight tries to rush outside but the door to the office just opens out onto a black void. Dwight takes out his smartphone. "Siri, what is the nature of the universe?" he asks. "The universe is a balloon-like region 705 meters across," answers Siri. Dwight starts to scream. Meanwhile, back at the office, everyone is wondering where Dwight is and complementing Jim on his cool balloon. Jim smiles smugly at the camera.
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Aug 12, 2021 15:23
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Dwight catches Jim cheating on Pam with the new secretary from season 10. Jim says if Dwight breathes a word of this to anyone he WILL kill him in his sleep. Dwight says he won't tell anyone, but Jim thinks he hesitated too long before answering, so he kills him right then and there.
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Aug 12, 2021 15:31
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There's a popular new late-night radio show in Scranton; Beet to Beet AM with Dwight Schrute. What starts as a general call-in show quickly morphs to cover primarily supernatural topics, as these are the most popular with listeners and Dwight himself. Dwight fields calls from all across Scranton covering topics from the floppy haired cryptid seen in the woods to the supposed military test site that was working on something called "Project HLPRT" in the 1960s. An extremely popular and mysterious call involves someone who claims to have worked with the US government and had knowledge of a mysterious "extra dimensional being" that a "precursor to the space program made contact with". Adding to the strangeness, the radio station is temporarily knocked offline while the call is occurring. Another mysterious call involves "Kevin's Hole", a strange and seemingly never ending pit in the ground where Kevin has observed bizarre and unexplainable phenomena. Dwight enjoys fame and (modest) fortune, all of which he donates to charity. However, not everything everything is great in Dwight's world, as some people use information gleamed from the show to invade Schrute Farms and threaten his family. Dwight is eventually forced to retire for his family's safety, naming Jim as his replacement host. Jim instantly shifts the focus of the show from a wide range of topics to a primary focus on angels, for some bizarre reason. Nearly every story he covers is about supposed angels, and he constantly asks listeners inane questions such as "Well, I know you thought those were aliens but could they have been angels? And, if so, what kind of sweater do you think an angel might wear?" Listenership plummets over the next few weeks. Jim mugs for the camera, but then remembers he's on the radio. Instead, he tells listeners that he's mugging for them right now and that they should be on the lookout for any angels or angel-like activity in the Scranton area.
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Aug 12, 2021 15:40
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Michael declares bankruptcy, but the employees think the company is going under, so Kevin attacks the snack vending machine, Angela steals the petty cash from the drawer, while Pam starts ripping the wires from the walls, as others panic, stealing equipment and furniture from the office. Jim gives Dwight a wedgie.
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Aug 12, 2021 15:48
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Jim says he'll stop pranking Dwight forever if Dwight can recite the entire alphabet. Dwight leaps up and does this, but Jim retorts that he wants Dwight to recite "the TRUE alphabet, the one written before the Earth had form or shape". A frustrated Dwight sits back down while Jim smiles smugly.
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Aug 12, 2021 16:02
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Jim becomes a cosmic horror but Dwight is too busy selling cardstock to notice.
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Aug 12, 2021 16:26
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In his house at R'lyeh dead Halpert waits dreaming.
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Aug 12, 2021 16:30
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Jim imparts unto Dwight the Terrible Secret of Space. Later that day Jim dresses up in a robot costume made from cardboard boxes and dryer tubes and pushes Dwight down the stairs. Halpert robot mugs the camera. “Pak, chooie unf.”
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Aug 12, 2021 17:00
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Jim starts calling Dwight “Baloo Boy” during their lunch break, leading Dwight to wonder if Jim is mocking his accent. Does he even have an accent? Returning to his desk, Dwight realizes that the ‘n’ key on his keyboard is missing. Jim mugs the camera, then gives a sly wink. Over the next few days, more and more things go missing from Dwight’s desk. First the pens, then all his binders... To Dwight’s consternation, the objects seem to be disappearing faster than he can replace them. Jim’s obviously behind it all, but there’s no evidence, and Michael just tells Dwight to be more careful with his stuff. When Dwight’s entire computer monitor disappears, he concludes that the letter ‘n’ must be the connection, and begins stocking his desk with only n-less items: markers, a typewriter, paper clips, etc. By Thursday afternoon, the whole desk has vanished. Monday morning, Dwight arrives at work without shoes and socks. He can no longer conduct sales calls, so he just sort-of wanders around. But that’s basically all he did anyways, isn’t it? A week later, Dwight no longer has any food to eat, and resorts to foraging for ants under Kevin’s desk. His clothes are gone, but he’s fashioned a crude loincloth out of sales reports. As usual, nobody seems to care. Months pass this way, and a now-feral Dwight lounges under the potted plants and feasts on prickly pear, having finally forgotten about his worries and his strife. Jim mugs the camera again, wearing a grass wig and coconut bra.
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Aug 12, 2021 17:05
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Jim arranges to have Nicki Minaj come to The Office and ask Dwight on a date. Jim thinks this will be embarrassing for Dwight because internally Jim is a racist who does not "agree" with interracial dating, and assumes his co-workers are as well. Dwight is flabbergasted but happy to take Nicki out. He shows her a good time and she thinks his farm is really cool. They agree to make time for each other and pursue a long distance relationship. Even though nobody even knows Jim arranged all this or what he thought was going to happen, he turns to the camera and defensively states "I actually have a lot of black friends"
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Aug 12, 2021 17:09
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Dwight gets into an unfortunate car accident and is hospitalized. His injuries are fairly minor but, for some reason, he seems to be getting much worse. The doctors are stumped and things begin to look grave. At the office, Michael asks everyone to keep Dwight in their thoughts and prayers and leads everyone in a moment of silent reflection. Jim loudly farts and then starts laughing. An angry Michael tells Jim to "Get the gently caress out of here right now" and a giggling Jim insists it was just "a joke, bro" but Michael boots him. The entire office applauds as Jim is tossed out and Michael apologizes for his language, but states that even he is tired of Jim's antics. Dwight takes a turn for the worse overnight and Angela tells everyone that she doesn't think he'll make it through the night, then takes the rest of the day off to be with him. Jim loudly sighs and complains that it's "a vacation day for Angela again", again prompting Michael to confront him. Michael tells Jim that he's fed up with the constant pranks and attitude, and that Jim is fired if he pulls one more stunt. Dwight passes overnight and the next day Michael gathers the office together to let them know that he's taking up a collection for Angela to help her out in this difficult time. Jim then makes a police siren noise and says "Hey, are we investigating that bitch for Dwight's murder? Seems like she's getting rich off the fat bastard's death already." Michael fires Jim on the spot and has him removed from the office, a task that Kevin and Oscar gladly agree to. Pam shields her face and just keeps muttering that she's sorry, she can't understand why he's like this. Once Jim is booted from the office he motions for the camera crew to come over, where he explains that he replaced Dwight's medications with "maple syrup, dog hair and some other funny stuff", leading to his death. He then explains that this was "all according to keikaku", as he KNEW Dwight would die, he could cause a scene and then get fired. "Now," he explains further, "I can come up with pranks for Dwight ALL DAY LONG! And Pam can just pay the bills, it's a win-win for us both." When the camera crew explains that Dwight is dead, Jim looks confused and asks them what that means. Despite a nearly 30 minute back-and-forth, Jim seems unable to understand the finality of death and skips home happily, whistling.
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Aug 12, 2021 17:12
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Jim asks Dwight if he remembers "that time we met Vincent Price in that cave in Hawaii." Dwight reminds Jim that that was a Brady Bunch episode, not an episode of The Office. "Ahhhh, gotcha to break character again!" Dwight is launched into the static void between television shows as punishment. When he emerges again Jim has placed a whoopie cushion on his seat.
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Aug 12, 2021 17:19
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The production team says to Rainn Wilson that he can only leave his monitor showing a pre-approved list of programs and websites, otherwise they have to pay for copyright infringment. Rainn Wilson, not caring about this, tells the crew that he would pay charity from his own pocket whenever the camera glimpsed anything that wasn't approved. John Krasinski opens a web browser window and starts typing www.po...
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Aug 12, 2021 17:56
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| # ? May 31, 2024 14:37 |
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Jim takes on a new identity: The Texas Tornado. He wears a cowboy hat to the office and talks like Yosemite Sam from now on. Dwight moved to Oregon three years ago and doesn't know about any of this.
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Aug 12, 2021 18:47
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