Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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deep dish peat moss

Code Jockey posted:

spending hours and hours creating potions before my big date, then chugging all of them to boost my sexual power value to absurd levels, allowing me to climax within milliseconds, thus setting a new speed running record

everyone else at sex done quick 2021 is in awe, and the donations roll in

min-maxing a date, make the thread someone

# ? Aug 12, 2021 04:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 19:17

vanisher

somehow when reaching into a bowl of mixed nuts I will always pull a cashew out and other stupid magic tricks

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Aug 12, 2021 05:38

vanisher

using "whilst" in an email and other tips to make people hate you

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Aug 12, 2021 05:41

vanisher

A collection of five star AppStore shovelware reviews

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Aug 12, 2021 06:33

Ventral EggSac

The developers came up with an unusual but clever solution: the penis is actually the hat for an npc that is walking back and forth just under the ground

# ? Aug 12, 2021 06:43

Jestery: Not a Dickman, just a shape

Ventral EggSac posted:

The developers came up with an unusual but clever solution: the penis is actually the hat for an npc that is walking back and forth just under the ground

Been looking at the fallout wiki?

# ? Aug 12, 2021 10:26

Dip Viscous

Dip Viscous posted:

running the no-OOB category of this

Since this is the any% run, we're going to be doing a little sequence breaking to skip the foreplay

# ? Aug 12, 2021 19:06

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

A time travelling agent whose job is to go back in time to make sure that people who history needs to have died definitely die.

# ? Aug 14, 2021 19:15

Prof. Crocodile

Prurient Squid posted:

A time travelling agent whose job is to go back in time to make sure that people who history needs to have died definitely die.

this agent needs to get off their rear end and get back to work.

# ? Aug 14, 2021 19:25

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Prurient Squid posted:

A time travelling agent whose job is to go back in time to make sure that people who history needs to have died definitely die.

this definitely happened with franz ferdinand

# ? Aug 14, 2021 19:26

FactsAreUseless

Cubone posted:

this definitely happened with franz ferdinand

They ripped off Talking Heads pretty bad, but it's unfair to say they "need to have died."

# ? Aug 15, 2021 00:02

Prof. Crocodile

business casual gamers

# ? Aug 15, 2021 00:23

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

Prof. Crocodile posted:

business casual gamers

spending $200 for an official pair of my favorite esports teams slacks

# ? Aug 15, 2021 00:55

google THIS

Prof. Crocodile posted:

business casual gamers

Hey uh, if you could just put the new cover sheets on those DPS reports, that'd be great

# ? Aug 15, 2021 01:03

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Prof. Crocodile posted:

business casual gamers

Did you mean "bitcoin miners?"

# ? Aug 15, 2021 01:07

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

google THIS posted:

Hey uh, if you could just put the new cover sheets on those DPS reports, that'd be great

# ? Aug 15, 2021 01:23

Armitag3: Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

google THIS posted:

Hey uh, if you could just put the new cover sheets on those DPS reports, that'd be great

# ? Aug 15, 2021 01:54

Ventral EggSac

Prof. Crocodile posted:

business casual gamers

Squatting repeatedly over a completed Q3 revenue report

# ? Aug 15, 2021 03:05

take the moon: by sebmojo

Prurient Squid posted:

A time travelling agent whose job is to go back in time to make sure that people who history needs to have died definitely die.

i read this time travel comic and one was about people whose job it was to save hitler from time travellers trying to kill hitler

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 15, 2021 03:15

xcheopis

take the moon posted:

i read this time travel comic and one was about people whose job it was to save hitler from time travellers trying to kill hitler

I would kidnap him as a baby and raise him far away in a loving and supportive environment and when he brought home his little drawings I would put them on the fridge and tell him how proud I was but also he really needed to move out and get his own apartment and maybe a lovely caring person of his preferred gender on whom to lavish affection.

Everywhere, everyone is red and green
I gotta lust for glory and a tape machine
I'm living out Frank Coppola's dreams
Outta my mind, I'm feelin' mean

# ? Aug 15, 2021 03:47

RavenousScoot

Ventral EggSac posted:

Squatting repeatedly over a completed Q3 revenue report

# ? Aug 15, 2021 04:29

google THIS

Camping the water cooler and CC-ing anyone trying to get a drink with my maxed Inane Banter skill

# ? Aug 15, 2021 06:21

Jestery: Not a Dickman, just a shape

The average Gatsby

He does alright

Got a one bedroom house near the city centre, great backyard though

Has friends over pretty regularly. Has a special bottle he breaks out at times

Always knows a guy who knows a guy

# ? Aug 15, 2021 07:06

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

streaming my Q3 sales forecast powerpoint presentation on twitch

"I'm expecting serious growth in the microprocessor and IoT divisions this quarter, and that's poggers. Chat lets see those emotes"

# ? Aug 15, 2021 08:19

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off but it ends with an anime battle of improvised giant robots piloted by Bueller and the principal respectively.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 09:34

deep dish peat moss

google THIS posted:

Hey uh, if you could just put the new cover sheets on those DPS reports, that'd be great

This quarter's Quarterly All-Hands Rally is a long-term buff which lowers energy cost and reduces the cooldown on all work-related abilities. Please remember to clock for your dailies every day, the guild is counting on you

# ? Aug 15, 2021 09:41

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

60s Batman but it's a Hammer Horror.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 09:42

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Prurient Squid posted:

60s Batman but it's a Hammer Horror.

either way it'll involve vincent price, so I'm sold

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 15, 2021 09:54

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

An Ent decides to make his fortune in the big city by moving to The Shire.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 12:08

FactsAreUseless

Jestery posted:

The average Gatsby

He does alright

Got a one bedroom house near the city centre, great backyard though

Has friends over pretty regularly. Has a special bottle he breaks out at times

Always knows a guy who knows a guy

Every night he walks past the house with the green light halfway down the block.

# ? Aug 15, 2021 20:18

more falafel please: forums poster

Jestery posted:

The average Gatsby

He does alright

Got a one bedroom house near the city centre, great backyard though

Has friends over pretty regularly. Has a special bottle he breaks out at times

Always knows a guy who knows a guy

he has like, a normal amount of shirts

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!