[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

Biowarfare posted:

why the gently caress was this not canceled

Because it's over, dude. We won. Covid is donezo!

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:42

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# ? May 25, 2024 02:45

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

Kreeblah posted:

DBAs are loving unsung heroes. I just got moved over to a new team that's struggling with scaling an application, and it's just full of bad design decisions, many of which are database-related. They hadn't had any DBAs involved, ever, until I brought some in, and it shows. Meanwhile, I'm coming from an organization that has applications that connect to databases with hundreds of millions of records and would regularly put significant effort into shaving single-millisecond amounts off their response times, because that actually mattered. A lot of that involved effective caching layers, but our DBAs put in a ton of time optimizing poo poo as well.

i put indexes on every column why is this still slow???

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:42

Ornery and Hornery: Oct 22, 2020

bad boys for life posted:

Day 3 of 3rd shot of Moderna and Im 100% recovered. Was 4.5 months out from the first shot.

I just went to walmart and had them add the third shot to my existing paperwork, but for those without a "valid" reason, no one asked me a single thing about my condition.

nice, I�m gonna walk in, no appointment, and just ask for shots shots shots

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:43

Bruce Hussein Daddy: Dec 26, 2005; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God

Kreeblah posted:

DBAs are loving unsung heroes.

"All this poo poo is running great! What are we paying this guy for?"

On track: Minnesota today tied their high day from the last """"wave"""".

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:45

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

Thoguh posted:

smiling and thinking about the superspreader rallies trump held all throughout 2020

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:46

corona familiar: Aug 13, 2021

Greg Legg posted:

How are the effects from the 3rd moderna dose? When I got shot #2 I got really loving sick for 2 days.

day 0: shoulder hurts a lot. can't raise left arm at all

day 1: feel like poo poo (throbbing headache when upright, sick feeling all over, fever, cold temperatures hurt). watch a movie. eyes hurt, sleep for 6 hours. watch some tv. brain hurts, sleep for 6 hours

day 2: feel a lot better, still a headache occasionally when sitting up for a while, but I can stay awake. fever mostly gone. spend most of the day watching https://www.youtube.com/user/Rambalac

day 3: fever gone, sick feeling gone, headaches gone. shoulder still a bit tender and warm, but I can move it. can sit at the computer and post.

day 4 (today): no more symptoms other than a bit of pain when raising arm above head

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:46

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

got my Only Trust Your Respirator tank in today, thanks whichever one of you drew that, poo poo looks sick

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:46

Koirhor: Jan 14, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Ornery and Hornery posted:

nice, I�m gonna walk in, no appointment, and just ask for shots shots shots

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XNtTEibFvlQ

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:46

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

empty whippet box posted:

I have a friend who lives in new zealand and from his accounts, they are loving life and basically boggling at the rest of the world for how loving stupid we are and nobody wears masks or anything there because why would they really?

the idea that new zealanders are suffering from some great mental distress over the covid lockdowns is utter lunacy. they are laughing at us raucously amongst themselves, when they aren't watching with horror and tightening the locks just a little bit more every time we do something stupid

your friend is a prisoner in a gulag with no freedom, sad but true

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:46

skewetoo: Mar 30, 2003

This CBD is buzzing me out but it's a small price to pay to have covid immunity.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:46

Complications: Jun 19, 2014

Biowarfare posted:

why the gently caress was this not canceled

Vaccines are invincibility serums and there was clearly a 100% vaccination rate there since nobody was masked. No need to test anyone. Open Biden.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:47

RoboChrist 9000: Dec 14, 2006; Mater Dolorosa

Platystemon posted:

OSHA calls them �user seal checks� and they�re interchangeable. You only have to do one�positive, negative, or as described in the respirator�s manual. It should not be possible to fail one and not another if you�re conducting them properly.

So what I gather then is that I'm fine and my respirator is good and I don't need to spend even more money? Thanks. Seriously thanks all of you.

Also thanks to Garth Brooks for winning the 2022 mid-terms for the Dems. For all the good (read: none) it will do.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:50

Saltpowered: Apr 12, 2010; Chief Executive Officer
Awful Industries, LLC

Death Panel Czar posted:

got my Only Trust Your Respirator tank in today, thanks whichever one of you drew that, poo poo looks sick

Is it still available or do I correctly remember the site taking it down? I�d love to order one if it�s still around.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:52

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

urgent care update: they took a forehead reading for my temperature. this nurse has some big ole phlegmy coughs! front desk staff only put on a mask when i walked in.

lol!!!!

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:54

Greg Legg: Oct 6, 2004

corona familiar posted:

day 0: shoulder hurts a lot. can't raise left arm at all

day 1: feel like poo poo (throbbing headache when upright, sick feeling all over, fever, cold temperatures hurt). watch a movie. eyes hurt, sleep for 6 hours. watch some tv. brain hurts, sleep for 6 hours

day 2: feel a lot better, still a headache occasionally when sitting up for a while, but I can stay awake. fever mostly gone. spend most of the day watching https://www.youtube.com/user/Rambalac

day 3: fever gone, sick feeling gone, headaches gone. shoulder still a bit tender and warm, but I can move it. can sit at the computer and post.

day 4 (today): no more symptoms other than a bit of pain when raising arm above head

Thanks! I will have to get some time off for this one

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:54

post COVID: Mar 5, 2007; free college, free healthcare, free Shmurda

durrneez posted:

urgent care update: they took a forehead reading for my temperature. this nurse has some big ole phlegmy coughs! front desk staff only put on a mask when i walked in.

lol!!!!

phlegmy coughs are good, means they're using the tobacco vax

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:57

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Notorious R.I.M. posted:

SEELCT * FROM table_name WHERE thread_id = ? ORDER BY post_date LIMIT 100000 OFFSET 50

This query will scan 100050 rows if an index on (thread_id, post_date) exists. What is on every other page does in fact matter.

There are some ways around this sort of pagination, but there are tradeoffs. It's hard to avoid if you want the ability to say "give me the 1709th page of this thread" for example.

this wouldn't be a problem if we threw everything into the data lake

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:59

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

that clip of the Uruk-Hai pulling himself further onto Boromir's sword but it's me with Moderna 3 and the nurse is a bit frightened

# ? Aug 17, 2021 19:59

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

this is the thread where we post about preventable pandemics right?

https://twitter.com/YahooCanadaNews/status/1427617849254760455

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:00

Notorious R.I.M.: Jan 27, 2004; up to my ass in alligators

Forseti posted:

I have no idea what their code looks like, but it's not going to scan every row with an index there* if it's written in a way that can use the index (which yours is). Even if it did, 100k rows should be a joke to a modern server, especially with caches.

drat this is really going down the rabbit hole now, but expectations and reality aren't the same thing with budget relational databases. Example:

Create some test threads:

code:

mysql -uroot test -Bse "
    DROP TABLE IF EXISTS post;
    CREATE TABLE post (
      id INT AUTO_INCREMENT,
      post_id INT,
      thread_id INT,
      post_date INT,
      PRIMARY KEY (id),
      INDEX thread_id__post_date (thread_id, post_date)
    )"
for thread in {1..100}; do    # Parallelize w/ xargs if you really care about doing this fast
   for ((post=1; post <= ${RANDOM}; post++)); do
       mysql -uroot -Bse "INSERT INTO test.post VALUES (default, ${post}, ${thread}, ${RANDOM})"
   done
done

Perform a limit-offset paginated lookup:

code:

mysql> FLUSH STATUS;
Query OK, 0 rows affected (0.01 sec)

mysql> \P >/dev/null
PAGER set to '>/dev/null'
mysql> SELECT * FROM post WHERE thread_id = 81 ORDER BY post_date LIMIT 50 OFFSET 250;
50 rows in set (0.00 sec)

mysql> \P
Default pager wasn't set, using stdout.
mysql> SHOW SESSION STATUS LIKE 'Handler%';
+----------------------------+-------+
| Variable_name              | Value |
+----------------------------+-------+
| Handler_commit             | 1     |
| Handler_delete             | 0     |
| Handler_discover           | 0     |
| Handler_external_lock      | 2     |
| Handler_mrr_init           | 0     |
| Handler_prepare            | 0     |
| Handler_read_first         | 0     |
| Handler_read_key           | 1     |
| Handler_read_last          | 0     |
| Handler_read_next          | 299   |
| Handler_read_prev          | 0     |
| Handler_read_rnd           | 0     |
| Handler_read_rnd_next      | 0     |
| Handler_rollback           | 0     |
| Handler_savepoint          | 0     |
| Handler_savepoint_rollback | 0     |
| Handler_update             | 0     |
| Handler_write              | 0     |
+----------------------------+-------+

It performs 300 handler operations, 1 key lookup to the first row with a matching thread_id and 299 consecutive reads down the linked list. O(n). This also doesn't change based on table cardinality, limit-offset cardinality, or what the sampling statistics happen to look like.

This operation does get CPU-expensive when we get on the order of 100k+ rows being accessed many times a second. It's something that is fine in a vacuum and an issue at concurrency. Is there an efficient caching layer in front of vbulletin now? I'm not really sure. Posts are made often enough though that caches will be regularly invalidated.

I used to maintain vbulletin forums years ago and was a MySQL DBA until I quit a month ago. Large cardinality problems (like threads with a shitload of posts) are an extremely common style of resource consumption issue.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:01

Petey: Nov 26, 2005; For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Joey Steel posted:

The pro-tier move is to say "LSMSA".

lol

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:04

Sudden Loud Noise: Feb 18, 2007

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://twitter.com/YahooCanadaNews/status/1427617849254760455

Brag much?

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:05

Sunny Side Up: Jun 22, 2004; Mayoist Third Condimentist

corona familiar posted:

i did my best (one of the images were out of order in the album, and i tried to guess dates)

thanks! Ohio is doomed!

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:06

Whoolighams: Jul 24, 2007; Thanks Dom Monaghan

mdemone posted:

that clip of the Uruk-Hai pulling himself further onto Boromir's sword but it's me with Moderna 3 and the nurse is a bit frightened

The scene where Boromir has three arrows in him but it's yardstick sized Moderna syringes and I feel equally as hosed up

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:06

ram dass in hell: Dec 29, 2019

mdemone posted:

that clip of the Uruk-Hai pulling himself further onto Boromir's sword but it's me with Moderna 3 and the nurse is a bit frightened

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:06

osprey: Apr 18, 2021

Apraxin posted:

https://twitter.com/joesonka/status/1427682204893777928

lol

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:10

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

corona familiar posted:

i did my best (one of the images were out of order in the album, and i tried to guess dates)

I like how iowa's weekly reporting cause it to pulse yellow to red again and again and again

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:10

Bone Crimes: Mar 7, 2007

Fenarisk posted:

Got word that my hospital is opening up boosters for all of us that got it January starting September 1st, booyah.

Now if only it would do something about the impending doom and realization that as our newborn grows up I have to contend with him going to a school and finding out what dip shits >50% of the other parents are that directly threaten my family's health!

Rad, is this in the US? Do you have more details?

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:10

sonatinas: Apr 15, 2003; Seattle Karate Vs. L.A. Karate

man MO AR LA are real hosed(but everywhere is really)

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:10

Pillowpants: Aug 5, 2006

Either people aren't reporting or hospitalizations have really slown down since Friday.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:10

A Bakers Cousin: Dec 18, 2003; by vyelkin

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1427703526734458883?s=20

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:11

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

to the surprise of no one, babies and toddlers are super spreaders inside a household.

https://twitter.com/DrEricDing/status/1427681855286005760

we had 2 years to figure out effective and safe day care, and just punted on it. delta is going to rock a lot of people's day care world

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:11

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

Pillowpants posted:

Either people aren't reporting or hospitalizations have really slown down since Friday.

on wednesday last week BNO went from 70k to 76k hospitalized in a day with big backlogs. there's a very noticeable reporting slowdown on the weekends it seems. i see no indication at all that hospitalizations are slowing down, at least looking at the PNW data

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:12

scary ghost dog: Aug 5, 2007

Pillowpants posted:

Either people aren't reporting or hospitalizations have really slown down since Friday.

theres a ceiling on hospitalizations lol

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:14

skewetoo: Mar 30, 2003

A Bakers Cousin posted:

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1427703526734458883?s=20

By the look of him. Oooof. Not the wisest decision my man

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:14

Impkins Patootie: Apr 20, 2017

A Bakers Cousin posted:

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1427703526734458883?s=20

goondolences

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:14

Ausmund: Jan 24, 2007; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Will any respirator due? Could I swing by home depot today and get the h3 paint project mask or do they have to be specialized?

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:15

Ebola Roulette: Sep 13, 2010; No matter what you ~~win~~ ~~lose~~ ragepiss.

jisforjosh posted:

How long until COVID becomes Marek's disease but in humans?

quote:

The reason this is a problem for Marek’s disease is because the vaccine is “leaky.” A leaky vaccine is one that keeps a microbe from doing serious harm to its host, but doesn’t stop the disease from replicating and spreading to another individual.

Lmao it already has

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:15

Pead: May 31, 2001; Nap Ghost

A Bakers Cousin posted:

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1427703526734458883?s=20

Seems like a lot more of these stories this wave, like these dumbasses got emboldened by living through wave 1 and are now getting delta'd the gently caress out

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:15

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# ? May 25, 2024 02:45

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

A Bakers Cousin posted:

https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1427703526734458883?s=20

Lolllllll this fat slug is the state senator for the neighboring district. He's a terrible person through and through, gently caress him, I hope he chokes on his own lung juices

# ? Aug 17, 2021 20:17

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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