[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

turd in my singlet: Jul 5, 2008; DO ALL DA WORK

WIT YA NECK

*heavy metal music playing*; Nap Ghost

fosborb posted:

the US is going to surpass peak hospitalizations.

I think most people don't realize how baked in that is at this point

we could literally vaccinate every single person in the US tomorrow and implement weld-your-door style lock downs indefinitely, and we're still going to slide right past the record and keep going

i';m definitely going insane right now

E:

turd in my singlet fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Aug 19, 2021

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:10

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# ? May 23, 2024 12:08

Gresh: Jan 12, 2019

strange feelings re Daisy posted:

This country is so loving stupid it makes my blood boil
https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1428160535749545987?s=20

gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:10

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

Blackhawk posted:

NZ lockdown energy is extremely strong though, so I think we'll be fine again in another month or so.

Famous last words.

The most annoying thing about covid destroying the last bastions in the western world is that I wasn't able to lose any weight in the last 18 months despite doing everything I could without gyms open. I drank nothing but goddamn water this entire time and walked home from work every day. I only eat two healthy meals per day, no snacks. Yet I'm still 30lbs overweight with high blood pressure and asthma and covid knocking at my door. Cut me some loving slack world.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:12

DarkEuphoria: Nov 7, 2012

SpaceDrake posted:

alright, but. im sorry cspam, i have to realpost for a minute here

I'm actually super loving worried about the next 6-8 weeks. like. it is now virtually guaranteed that millions of children are going to be infected with covid-19 � probably north of 75% of the entire school-age population, especially the elementary demographic � and the sheer overload of the health system this will cause is going to kill tens of thousands of children in the space of a month or two. I am deadass actually expecting that we are going to be facing down a hundred thousand dead children by some point in October. and I have no loving idea what happens after that. what happens after the biggest child mortality crisis in this country in more than a century, and this one self-manufactured.

like, the leadership and certain parts of the bourgeoisie are going to try to not give a poo poo beyond platitudes, and at least at first I expect a Sandy Hook-esque shrug, but by the time the death wave really sets in, even at only like 50,000 dead that's going to be six digits worth of parents who are just. just totally and completely out of their minds with grief and rage. and power will try and do nothing, and. they're going to want to express their anger.

i'm not predicting ~~civil war~~ because i don't expect it to be a war; war implies some level of organization. i just keep imagining this white-hot ball of rage erupting all across the country, and. it'll just be people doing poo poo because gently caress it, our children are dead, our world has already ended, and so far nobody has given a gently caress. well we'll make you give a gently caress.

like. tell me the molochian virus furnace we're about to shovel 60 million children into isn't going to result in massive child death, cspam. tell me the next few months I see ahead of us is just me doom-braining.

I don�t actually think anyone will care, tbh. Things will just continue to get shittier and shittier, as usual, and sure, you�ll see some Covid anger related terrorism, but that�s just America! If it wasn�t Covid, it would be something else. The majority of Americans literally do not care about anything beyond themselves, which extends to their children. Hell, plenty of people will be secretly glad that they have a dead kid for people to feel sorry about.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:13

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

i just don't want my niece to die. she's like the only little kid i can stand

but hey, open biden, can't upset number

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:14

kalensc: Sep 10, 2003; Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

CaptainViolence posted:

i watched this with horrified fascination and the cut at the end just as it starts exploding right about now lol is perfectly terrifying

Lol yeah it would prob sync really well with the last minute of a Godspeed You! riff or that 28 Days Later song or something

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:15

Helith: Nov 5, 2009; Basket of Adorables

NSW Govt: Get Vaccinated
Also NSW Govt: No, not like that!

quote:

Police investigating after 60 people booked priority Covid-19 vaccines

OK this is quite something.

The NSW cybercrime squad is investigating after about 60 people booked Covid-19 vaccines �under allocations reserved for health care workers at the weekend�, NSW police said in a statement.

Police say that on Saturday officers were notified �after several members of the public attended a hospital at Camperdown the previous day for vaccine bookings purportedly made by essential healthcare workers�.

The Camperdown hospital is, presumably, Royal Prince Alfred.

Here�s the statement:

Further inquiries revealed a link was shared with the attendees which allowed them to be allocated a vaccine despite being ineligible for priority bookings.

The case was referred to detectives from the State Crime Command�s Cybercrime Squad and an investigation was established under Strike Force Alioth.

The bookings were made through an online NSW Health vaccination booking service, with some users required to pay a fee prior to attending the hospital.

Initial inquiries suggest the opportunity to receive a priority vaccination was circulated through the social media application WeChat.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:15

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

DarkEuphoria posted:

The majority of Americans literally do not care about anything beyond themselves, which extends to their children. Hell, plenty of people will be secretly glad that they have a dead kid for people to feel sorry about.

It's really rude to subtweet the president like that

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:16

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

let's just kill and cripple all the little kids, because we can't keep the schools closed or else some loving billionaires might be inconvenienced

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:16

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

Foo Diddley posted:

let's just kill and cripple all the little kids, because we can't keep the schools closed or else some loving billionaires might be inconvenienced

actually kids don't get sick from the virus

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:20

J. P. Beagley: Apr 11, 2008

the only kids who will get sick & die from covid are the Weak Ones

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:21

Iverron: May 13, 2012

corona familiar posted:

ever since that GIF i made a few days ago, i started working on a web app that could animate historical data from CovidActNow's dataset

it's really barebones right now, just a map and a date, but i can animate basically any field on this documentation page

here's a recording of cases per 100k (7 day average). placeholder colors, but red = 100 cases / 100k

https://i.imgur.com/hNYIUaU.mp4

not sure what's up with nebraska

sturgis lmao

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:21

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/6997966580818758914

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:22

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

38 of the 57 new cases today were from the same Muslim school that was the centre of the outbreak at this same time last year. This is right after the fundamentalist Jewish engagement party super spreader event. Must be a fun time for racists.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:22

space uncle: Sep 17, 2006; "I don�t care if Biden beats Trump. I�m not offloading responsibility. If enough people feel similar to me, such as the large population of Muslim people in Dearborn, Michigan. Then he won�t"

SpaceDrake posted:

alright, but. im sorry cspam, i have to realpost for a minute here

I'm actually super loving worried about the next 6-8 weeks. like. it is now virtually guaranteed that millions of children are going to be infected with covid-19 — probably north of 75% of the entire school-age population, especially the elementary demographic — and the sheer overload of the health system this will cause is going to kill tens of thousands of children in the space of a month or two. I am deadass actually expecting that we are going to be facing down a hundred thousand dead children by some point in October. and I have no loving idea what happens after that. what happens after the biggest child mortality crisis in this country in more than a century, and this one self-manufactured.

like, the leadership and certain parts of the bourgeoisie are going to try to not give a poo poo beyond platitudes, and at least at first I expect a Sandy Hook-esque shrug, but by the time the death wave really sets in, even at only like 50,000 dead that's going to be six digits worth of parents who are just. just totally and completely out of their minds with grief and rage. and power will try and do nothing, and. they're going to want to express their anger.

i'm not predicting ~~civil war~~ because i don't expect it to be a war; war implies some level of organization. i just keep imagining this white-hot ball of rage erupting all across the country, and. it'll just be people doing poo poo because gently caress it, our children are dead, our world has already ended, and so far nobody has given a gently caress. well we'll make you give a gently caress.

like. tell me the molochian virus furnace we're about to shovel 60 million children into isn't going to result in massive child death, cspam. tell me the next few months I see ahead of us is just me doom-braining.

I tried to reach your numbers using the current hospitalization and mortality rates for children and you have to make some assumptions to get there:

All 50 million children get covid basically simultaneously.

The hospitalization rate (2%) stays the same. 49 million children are not hospitalized and recover normally.

Out of those 1 million kids hospitalized, the survival rate needs to drop from the current 99.3% to 90% to kill the 100,000 kids. That�s a 14x increase in mortality.

The current child mortality rate is .0085%, 380 kids for 4.5 million cases. If every kid under 12 got it (and we didn�t run out of beds/oxygen) then you would expect 4,250 deaths. Every single one of these is preventable and a terrible tragedy and failure of public policy. But there will be no Revolution.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:24

tangy yet delightful: Sep 13, 2005

Phone posting so just looked up some quick numbers but if we pretend 100% of school kids in the USA get covid this fall, and per wiki there are 37.9 million in primary school to include kindergarten. Per AAP 0.03% of all child covid cases resulted in death. This would mean 11,370 deaths.

Now Delta is worse for kids versus old types that might bring the CFR down and hospital capacity being filled will also make things worse, but of course also 100% of the pop won't get covid. So there's my 5 min quick take on the kids dying post. Total guess is worst death toll for kids this fall hits double the 11K I calculated but what the gently caress do I know.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:24

kaxman: Jan 15, 2003

space uncle posted:

(and we didn’t run out of beds/oxygen)

We'll see

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:27

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

the reality is more disturbing

the country has priced in hundreds of thousands of dead children. The chuds won't believe it and will be convinced the democrats are farming organs and its a sacrifice the bougie liberals are willing for you to make so they can have brunch.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:27

Reverend Zero: Mar 8, 2006

SpaceDrake posted:

alright, but. im sorry cspam, i have to realpost for a minute here

I'm actually super loving worried about the next 6-8 weeks. like. it is now virtually guaranteed that millions of children are going to be infected with covid-19 � probably north of 75% of the entire school-age population, especially the elementary demographic � and the sheer overload of the health system this will cause is going to kill tens of thousands of children in the space of a month or two. I am deadass actually expecting that we are going to be facing down a hundred thousand dead children by some point in October. and I have no loving idea what happens after that. what happens after the biggest child mortality crisis in this country in more than a century, and this one self-manufactured.

like, the leadership and certain parts of the bourgeoisie are going to try to not give a poo poo beyond platitudes, and at least at first I expect a Sandy Hook-esque shrug, but by the time the death wave really sets in, even at only like 50,000 dead that's going to be six digits worth of parents who are just. just totally and completely out of their minds with grief and rage. and power will try and do nothing, and. they're going to want to express their anger.

i'm not predicting ~~civil war~~ because i don't expect it to be a war; war implies some level of organization. i just keep imagining this white-hot ball of rage erupting all across the country, and. it'll just be people doing poo poo because gently caress it, our children are dead, our world has already ended, and so far nobody has given a gently caress. well we'll make you give a gently caress.

like. tell me the molochian virus furnace we're about to shovel 60 million children into isn't going to result in massive child death, cspam. tell me the next few months I see ahead of us is just me doom-braining.

* D&D-ishly *

"you should consider taking a break from the thread, not engaging with something functionally means it doesnt exist dont you know"

my partner and i agree with you, she's in the process of yanking the kids out of school and doing homeschooling until..... :shrug:

. our rural county has decided that masks are optional for students and teachers, even after a huge public outcry, and there is a big question mark as to whether any remote learning is planned and school starts back monday lol.

my area is jammed pack with the unmasked and has extremely low vaccination rates (under the age of 72), i truly fear for the kids going back and hurt for the parents who have no choice but to send their kids back. it's extremely dark right now.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:29

turd in my singlet: Jul 5, 2008; DO ALL DA WORK

WIT YA NECK

*heavy metal music playing*; Nap Ghost

Iverron posted:

sturgis lmao

yeah lol

i guess this wave will have a similar "burn across the country" pattern, but a lot faster and this time just starting from the gulf coast?

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:30

osprey: Apr 18, 2021

children are not part of the labor pool. nor are they consumers. we cannot extract wealth from them, therefore they are expendable

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:30

Helith: Nov 5, 2009; Basket of Adorables

Schnorkles posted:

the reality is more disturbing

the country has priced in hundreds of thousands of dead children. The chuds won't believe it and will be convinced the democrats are farming organs and its a sacrifice the bougie liberals are willing for you to make so they can have brunch.

on the other hand a whole lot of crisis actors will be getting work soon

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:30

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

osprey posted:

children are not part of the labor pool. nor are they consumers. we cannot extract wealth from them, therefore they are expendable

America.txt

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:31

PDP-1: Oct 12, 2004; It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

so is abbot dead yet or what

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:32

post COVID: Mar 5, 2007; free college, free healthcare, free Shmurda

for sale child's respirator never used

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:32

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

another factor of some children getting very sick is that we dont really build in extra pediatric ICU beds like we do with adults, because kids aren't supposed to get sick like that.

and even if we find the beds, crash coursing medical staff in peds will absolutely result in worse outcomes

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:34

Gresh: Jan 12, 2019

PDP-1 posted:

so is abbot dead yet or what

no, the evil live forever

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:34

DesertIslandHermit: Oct 7, 2019; It's beautiful. And it's for the god of...of...arts and crafts. I think that's what he said.

PDP-1 posted:

so is abbot dead yet or what

Dead set on doing another mask-free presentation!

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:34

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

PDP-1 posted:

so is abbot dead yet or what

at this point, its probably more productive to pray for a second tree

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:35

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

Gio posted:

why of course d&d is sanctimonious about ppl lying to get a booster, i should have known

Atrocious Joe posted:

https://twitter.com/JustinGrayWSB/status/1428119465166770187?s=20

lol

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:35

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Atrocious Joe posted:

https://twitter.com/JustinGrayWSB/status/1428119465166770187?s=20

fosborb posted:

lol we've thrown out 10 million doses

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:39

Shiroc: May 16, 2009; Sorry I'm late

I've accepted that there is no future and it helps me just do what I need to each day. Thanks decades of dissociation for giving me this skill.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:41

Fuckt Tupp: Apr 19, 2007; Science

https://twitter.com/susanthesquark/status/1428196374676340747

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:41

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

UnfortunateSexFart posted:

Famous last words.

The most annoying thing about covid destroying the last bastions in the western world is that I wasn't able to lose any weight in the last 18 months despite doing everything I could without gyms open. I drank nothing but goddamn water this entire time and walked home from work every day. I only eat two healthy meals per day, no snacks. Yet I'm still 30lbs overweight with high blood pressure and asthma and covid knocking at my door. Cut me some loving slack world.

maybe check out the cspam fitness thread?

you're probably doing some of these, but i highly recommend 8/16 fasting (skip breakfast), some kind of carb restriction/cycling, resistance training and getting 7+ hours of sleep. also, if you've restricted your calories, trying going on a cheat day binge before you get back to whatever diet you're following.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:44

RoboChrist 9000: Dec 14, 2006; Mater Dolorosa

Americans are stupid and selfish but we're also violent and while you can debate whether or not most parents truly love their children, I think it's reasonable to say that at the very least they think they do and would be angry if their children were murdered or maimed. I highly doubt we won't see some kind of reaction to a modern day Massacre of the Innocents - only real rather than fictional.

Granted, as mentioned, we're stupid and selfish, so whether or not the reaction is in any way constructive, helpful, or even aimed at the right people is anyone's guess. I'm already anticipating peopel somehow blaming the vaccines and the vaccinated.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:44

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

corona familiar posted:

ever since that GIF i made a few days ago, i started working on a web app that could animate historical data from CovidActNow's dataset

it's really barebones right now, just a map and a date, but i can animate basically any field on this documentation page

here's a recording of cases per 100k (7 day average). placeholder colors, but red = 100 cases / 100k

https://i.imgur.com/hNYIUaU.mp4

not sure what's up with nebraska

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryp8GyqBpN8

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:44

papersack: Jul 27, 2003

osprey posted:

this is cool

nobody lives in nebraska, it's just corn

can corn catch covid?

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:47

slinkimalinki: Jan 17, 2010

You know the covid in NZ came from Australia because one of the locations of interest is a bunnings.

The only thing that worries me about nz's otherwise goody-two-shoes approach is that because we haven't needed a nationwide lockdown in over a year, most people's understanding of masks is stuck in April 2020.

Workmates at the zoom morning tea going on about "I heard you can use a scarf or make a mask out of an old sock!".

I sent my team at work a link to some kf94s but I don't think it'll make an impression.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:49

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

Casey Finnigan posted:

what is the american endgame here? just keep things open until every single hospital in the nation is overwhelmed? and then what? What the gently caress are we doing

keep up the delusion that everything is doing just fine out of political cowardice and to juice every last drop of market performance we can. if we ever get to the point that it becomes unavoidable, well, maybe i'll be out of office by then and it'll be someone else's problem

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 12:08

Blaziken386: Jun 27, 2013; I'm what the kids call: a big nerd

Zisky posted:

It rules having a wife in one of the largest public health departments in the US because you get to hear leading indicators like "yeah in the next couple of weeks shits gonna get really really bad."

buy your wife an account

# ? Aug 19, 2021 04:50

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