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boquiabierta posted:You have an opportunity to try to make them realize by setting this boundary. It’s their choice not to get vaxxed. You’re being completely reasonable to not allow your kids to see anyone who isn’t vaxxed. They won’t realize it if I set the boundary; they will continue to assert it’s me that is wrong and I’m keeping their grandchildren from them because of my “false” views on covid. But it won’t make them see they are being irresponsible. I’ve given up on that fight, it’s the same as arguing politics on Facebook. So it comes down to, enforce a boundary like this or don’t. If it comes to that I absolutely will. There used to be a time I was more of a people pleaser and that’s still my tendency but my wife and children are my family and they and their welfare come first, and in therapy and medication I’ve lost most of my qualms with trying to keep the peace and please people who are only pleased if I do what they want me to do and how they want me to do it. Basically, I love them and am concerned for their health, and it saddens me they won’t get vaccinated. But I’m over trying to convince them of anything and I stopped trying when Trump took office in 2016…my family’s health comes first, especially my children. I won’t endanger their health to please people who refuse to get vaccinated, even if I love those people despite themselves.
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Aug 19, 2021 18:29
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life is killing me posted:They won’t realize it if I set the boundary; they will continue to assert it’s me that is wrong and I’m keeping their grandchildren from them because of my “false” views on covid. But it won’t make them see they are being irresponsible. I’ve given up on that fight, it’s the same as arguing politics on Facebook. So it comes down to, enforce a boundary like this or don’t. If it comes to that I absolutely will. There used to be a time I was more of a people pleaser and that’s still my tendency but my wife and children are my family and they and their welfare come first, and in therapy and medication I’ve lost most of my qualms with trying to keep the peace and please people who are only pleased if I do what they want me to do and how they want me to do it. *standing ovation* They’re your kids, you have every right to protect them. If your parents refuse to see their grandkids because they won’t get a vaccine, that is on them. It might hurt, or be a pain in the rear end, but you need to look out for you and your kids. If you set a boundary and they get mad, the way they react is entirely up to them.
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Aug 19, 2021 18:55
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hallo spacedog posted:When do babies get better at sleeping on their backs? She is 3 months as of yesterday. Last night was probably one of the most miserable nights I've had since the first week she was born. Tried to put her to bed around 8:30, screaming etc until 1 am, slept 1 to 5, woke to nurse but now refuses to get back in her basinette. Every time I put her down in it she could be dead to the world, floppy armed asleep on me or in my arms, and then shakes herself back awake between 5-10 minutes later if not sooner. I feel helpless and like I don't know how to do this at all. The reason they want the baby to sleep on their back, is that they won't sleep as deeply. That's the whole point. If you can't get into deep sleep, your primitive infant brain can't forget to breathe. It's in the peer reviewed papers that "back is best" is based on Babies sleep on their stomach as soon as they can roll over not because they get stuck there, but because they sleep a lot better Pray your baby learns to roll over soon. For us it was about 4 months and now she sleeps like the dead
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Aug 19, 2021 19:12
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life is killing me posted:They won’t realize it if I set the boundary; they will continue to assert it’s me that is wrong and I’m keeping their grandchildren from them because of my “false” views on covid. But it won’t make them see they are being irresponsible. I’ve given up on that fight, it’s the same as arguing politics on Facebook. So it comes down to, enforce a boundary like this or don’t. If it comes to that I absolutely will. There used to be a time I was more of a people pleaser and that’s still my tendency but my wife and children are my family and they and their welfare come first, and in therapy and medication I’ve lost most of my qualms with trying to keep the peace and please people who are only pleased if I do what they want me to do and how they want me to do it. You're in the right. They're morons. It's going to suck to set that boundary, but it's 100% within your rights. gently caress anyone who doesn't understand that. Our rules are simple: vaccinated and not sick? you can come to our house. Wash your hands once you're here? You can touch my kid. Anything to the contrary: We'll talk, socially distanced, outside; or you can leave. Simple.
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Aug 19, 2021 19:35
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life is killing me posted:They will under no circumstances get vaccinated. They want to see their grandchildren, but not enough that they are willing to put in their veins what they believe is basically poison I had to set a boundary with my mom not seeing / talking to my kids. This was 2 years ago pre-covid. I'm sure if I was still talking to her now she'd be doing some bullshit over vaccines and masks. It sucks and it's rough to have to do it. I feel really horrible (and horrible for my kids) that grandma chose lovely stupid strangers over her grandkids. She texts me every so often (I never respond) telling me how much she loves me and the kids. No, you loving don't.
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Aug 19, 2021 19:39
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The lovely thing is, my mom is passive-aggressive and weeks go by where I don’t hear a peep from her. Like, I find myself wishing she’d at least ask if she can come see her grandchildren, but it appears she is still waiting on me to invite her. She lives twenty minutes from us.
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Aug 19, 2021 20:41
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Hadlock posted:The reason they want the baby to sleep on their back, is that they won't sleep as deeply. That's the whole point. If you can't get into deep sleep, your primitive infant brain can't forget to breathe. It's in the peer reviewed papers that "back is best" is based on Thank you for this, I had no idea that was the reason. Fingers crossed she starts rolling soon.
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Aug 19, 2021 22:33
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I really, really hope one of these days the ogre toddler will stop trying to kill himself. If he's not getting so frustrated over something that he's biting his lip and bleeding he's zooming about climbing up the kitchen chairs and on to the table.
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Aug 19, 2021 23:22
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I finally wore my parents down and convinced them to get the vaccine…it took about an hour of patiently debunking all of my mom’s fears and I think what ultimately got to her was when I explained that as a new mom I had to assess the risk, and I have a responsibility to keep my kid safe. And that means not being around unvaccinated people. My dad swore at me but for once in my life I grew and spine and made it super clear that they would not meet their grandchild unvaccinated. I hate that this turned into such a loving ordeal and my sympathies to anyone still dealing with stubborn relatives.
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Aug 19, 2021 23:45
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Well, we just got unenrolled from preschool.  Our 2.5 year old has been rocking some heavy separation anxiety her whole life since Mom has always been there for her, especially through the pandemic. She's been going a couple days a week to a preschool near our house for the last month and a half and we knew it was a rough adjustment, but the teachers kept assuring us she was getting better. But today we got a "we need to talk" text from the main teacher who met us outside before picking our kid up. Apparently she is just not handling such a large program well; too many other kids are spooking her and she gets confused about forming attachments to teachers who work in shifts. The teacher says everyone loves her and she's a smart, empathetic kid, but she's "white knuckling it all day" and all the teachers agree it would be better for her to go to a smaller program. So we were told in very kind but very firm terms that today was her last day, and our tuition was refunded by the time we got home. This is crushing for us, not the least because we have no idea where we're going to find a smaller preschool that isn't already full. ("Try calling 211" was the only advice the teacher gave to us after she kicked us out.) We were basically at our wits' end earlier this year and were hanging on to our sanity by our fingertips while we waited for the summer program to start. This is going to destroy my wife. I just signed up on Peanut yesterday after you all pumped it up, so maybe we'll see how that goes.
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Aug 20, 2021 00:11
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That seems really hosed up that they would just drop childcare without any consultation with you or heads up to arrange an alternative.
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Aug 20, 2021 00:35
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Nessa posted:Yes, once baby can roll over on their own, they are strong enough to roll themselves back if they need to, or turn their head. Lol now that our kid is rolling and crawling he very often sleeps on his stomach with his knees tucked under him, bum in the air, face planted into the mattress. Apparently that's comfortable?
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Aug 20, 2021 00:36
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Eggnogium posted:That seems really hosed up that they would just drop childcare without any consultation with you or heads up to arrange an alternative. Yeah, especially since we had been in pretty close communication all month, and I've been anxiously asking "please let us know if there's anything we can do to help her adjust" because I knew in my gut from day one that this was gonna happen. And they just kept saying "it's a rough transition but she's getting better". I get why they did it. From their status updates, it sounds like she needed a ton of direct supervision and individual attention, which they probably can't spare. But it still sucks.
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Aug 20, 2021 00:45
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poo poo like that is why we've been so happy with our daycare's key teacher attachment model. The ex-owner did her PhD on early childhood attachments and built her centre around this key teacher model where there are 4-5 child "buddy/family" groups with a single key teacher and that teacher has a "buddy teacher" who covers their breaks. The whole point is to allow children to form consistent bonds with the same teacher and to prevent kids that are quieter getting "lost" in the rowdiness of everyone else when teachers are watching a mass of children rather than just focusing on their core group. Our son absolutely thrived and his teacher cried when he went to the big kid room.
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Aug 20, 2021 03:59
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wizzardstaff posted:Yeah, especially since we had been in pretty close communication all month, and I've been anxiously asking "please let us know if there's anything we can do to help her adjust" because I knew in my gut from day one that this was gonna happen. And they just kept saying "it's a rough transition but she's getting better". That sucks so bad, I’m sorry. FWIW I have a friend whose son got kicked out of daycare for being too anxious, and now a couple years later he has adjusted just fine, you’d never know he had terrible separation anxiety (pre-pandemic). Good luck finding a new place. Does your city have a Facebook page for finding childcare resources?
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Aug 20, 2021 04:13
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hallo spacedog posted:When do babies get better at sleeping on their backs? She is 3 months as of yesterday. Last night was probably one of the most miserable nights I've had since the first week she was born. Tried to put her to bed around 8:30, screaming etc until 1 am, slept 1 to 5, woke to nurse but now refuses to get back in her basinette. Every time I put her down in it she could be dead to the world, floppy armed asleep on me or in my arms, and then shakes herself back awake between 5-10 minutes later if not sooner. I feel helpless and like I don't know how to do this at all. Are you swaddling? I've definitely found that our 2mo will wake herself up with uncontrollably flapping limbs if she's not constrained somehow. We don't proper swaddle with the blanket and all - largely because we never figured it out, really - but stuff like this or this make a big difference.
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Aug 20, 2021 05:53
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Gay Nudist Dad posted:Are you swaddling? I've definitely found that our 2mo will wake herself up with uncontrollably flapping limbs if she's not constrained somehow. We don't proper swaddle with the blanket and all - largely because we never figured it out, really - but stuff like this or this make a big difference. Since the day she came home from the hospital she has been impossible to swaddle. We had swaddlers like yours from my sister's baby but doing it will make her scream bloody murder. So I gave up and have used an arms free sleep sack thing instead. But she does flail herself awake like yours does unfortunately. I ended up letting her nurse laying down in my bed, so she fell asleep while I stay awake, then moving her to hers. All cosleep precautions taken for good measure but I stayed awake because I am too afraid to cosleep. I managed about 2-3 hr. Decided to move into my mom's house starting Sunday so I can get some help.
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Aug 20, 2021 11:58
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hallo spacedog posted:I ended up letting her nurse laying down in my bed, so she fell asleep while I stay awake, then moving her to hers. All cosleep precautions taken for good measure but I stayed awake because I am too afraid to cosleep. I managed about 2-3 hr. Decided to move into my mom's house starting Sunday so I can get some help. That actually sounds exactly like how we solved it. I don't think it's uncommon or dangerous. Did you mean you managed 2-3 hours of sleep the whole night, or per session?
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Aug 20, 2021 13:42
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The daycare chat has me worried about our plague child when we start next month. He'll be 21 months old and has spent it with us WFH or in-house sitters. Hope the montessori place is prepared for a hellion running around yanking things off shelves and trying to leap off furniture.
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Aug 20, 2021 13:49
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citybeatnik posted:The daycare chat has me worried about our plague child when we start next month. He'll be 21 months old and has spent it with us WFH or in-house sitters. Hope the montessori place is prepared for a hellion running around yanking things off shelves and trying to leap off furniture. If it helps- our 26mo (at the time she started a couple months ago) has really flourished at daycare. I think the variety and structure has been really good for her. We had the same kind of care- wfh/in-home grandma- during the height of the pandemic, and she’s adjusted well. It’s made a big difference in her time at home as well as in our ability to be more refreshed and focused parents. A bunch of this cohort are dealing with the same thing, so the teachers are aware of it and really leaning into socializing them.
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Aug 20, 2021 14:25
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:That actually sounds exactly like how we solved it. I don't think it's uncommon or dangerous. 2-3 the whole night. If it had been per session it would feel more reasonable. I also might have slept a little more in the am but I became extremely anxious suddenly and then the baby pooped herself awake about two hours earlier than we normally get up.
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Aug 20, 2021 17:31
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hallo spacedog posted:2-3 the whole night. If it had been per session it would feel more reasonable. That’s rough. Hopefully your mom can take a few shifts so you can catch up on sleep. With my first I only slept 2 hours a night for several weeks and I’m honestly surprised I didn’t end up with psychosis, but it was Not Good and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Do you do anything for anxiety? I had severe PP anxiety with my first, going on meds helped tremendously. Have you tried putting her on her side and elevating the head of the mattress? It works great for my son, who will also flail himself into a tizzy if he’s on his back.
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Aug 20, 2021 19:00
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Koivunen posted:That’s rough. Hopefully your mom can take a few shifts so you can catch up on sleep. With my first I only slept 2 hours a night for several weeks and I’m honestly surprised I didn’t end up with psychosis, but it was Not Good and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I forgot to thank you for that idea and photos yesterday. I'm going to get my husband to help me set this up to see how it goes tonight. I try to handle all the night time stuff on my own because he works in construction and I'm always worried that if he is too sleep deprived he could get injured or die. I will try calling my doctor about meds as I am not on anything. I take meds for ADHD and depression that I have been off of since March 2020 when we were trying for the baby so my quality of life wrt my mental health feels pretty low right now. The anxiety probably effects me a lot as I am always terrified about various stuff going wrong.
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Aug 20, 2021 20:02
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Can someone recommend a toy that, I dunno, I guess the baby pushes a button and it plays a 20-45 second song for them Baby currently has a toy that will do this, but a complex series of button pushes is required, and even I can't figure out how to do it reliably
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Aug 21, 2021 00:00
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Hadlock posted:Can someone recommend a toy that, I dunno, I guess the baby pushes a button and it plays a 20-45 second song for them My sister gave me an older version of this.. It literally has one big button to press and plays like short classical tunes.
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Aug 21, 2021 00:04
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Hadlock posted:Can someone recommend a toy that, I dunno, I guess the baby pushes a button and it plays a 20-45 second song for them My baby has the Vtech Soothe and Glow Elephant and this penguin. https://cornershopapp.com/en-ca/products/te0p-danawares-purple-penguin-light-up-musical-plush-1-unit
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Aug 21, 2021 00:21
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hallo spacedog posted:My sister gave me an older version of this.. It literally has one big button to press and plays like short classical tunes. We have a version of that too, not sure if it's older or newer or what. It was ordered for us by a friend who said "it's the only musical toy that we didn't hate" and dang it she was right.
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Aug 21, 2021 00:38
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wizzardstaff posted:We have a version of that too, not sure if it's older or newer or what. It was ordered for us by a friend who said "it's the only musical toy that we didn't hate" and dang it she was right. My kid also loved this as a baby
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Aug 21, 2021 00:43
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hallo spacedog posted:My sister gave me an older version of this.. It literally has one big button to press and plays like short classical tunes. Both our kids loved this as babies, and still play with it at 3 and 5.
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Aug 21, 2021 01:01
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hallo spacedog posted:My sister gave me an older version of this.. It literally has one big button to press and plays like short classical tunes. Agreed/this was good for both our kids.
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Aug 21, 2021 02:20
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hallo spacedog posted:My sister gave me an older version of this.. It literally has one big button to press and plays like short classical tunes. They have an ancient, beat up one of these at PT and they call it their magic toy because all the babies love it.
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Aug 21, 2021 02:30
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Just chiming in to say we've got one too. Before I clicked the link I thought "I bet I know what would work gre- oh. Yeah. That thing rules."
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Aug 21, 2021 02:44
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hallo spacedog posted:My sister gave me an older version of this.. It literally has one big button to press and plays like short classical tunes. Apparently they only ship these out of one warehouse and the minimum order is quite high
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Aug 21, 2021 02:45
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Does anyone have any recommendations for quality (K)N95 masks available in the US that'll fit a kindergartener?
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Aug 21, 2021 02:49
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Vida has the only FDA A friend and I went halfsies on a bigger set for the discount. Even if we don't use them for school, wildfire smoke is basically a seasonal occurrence in CA anyway. Our school just sent out surveys asking who needs their chromebooks if they have to cancel class for air quality because recess and lunch can't be indoors because covid. A great time to be a parent. 1up fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Aug 21, 2021 03:55
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Hadlock posted:Apparently they only ship these out of one warehouse and the minimum order is quite high Can probably find it on Amazon. I have 3 because people would not stop gifting them to us.
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Aug 21, 2021 06:59
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Renegret posted:Can probably find it on Amazon. I have 3 because people would not stop gifting them to us. I think they were actually taking about kn95 masks, quoted the wrong post. sharkytm fucked around with this message at 12:42 on Aug 22, 2021 |
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Aug 21, 2021 13:11
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hooah posted:Does anyone have any recommendations for quality (K)N95 masks available in the US that'll fit a kindergartener? Mine uses Bluna or Posh kf94s from behealthyusa.
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Aug 21, 2021 16:11
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hooah posted:Does anyone have any recommendations for quality (K)N95 masks available in the US that'll fit a kindergartener? TBH I wouldn't bother with a KN95 for a kid under 10. They require a very good fit to have the filtering effect, and even if you get it to fit in the morning, it's not likely to stay that way. Might as well use the most comfortable surgical mask you can find, then, since the filtering goes down to basically 0 once air leaks in at the sides. Ninja edit: I guess what I'm saying is, IMO, masks for little ones are mostly about source control, not protecting the wearer, and surgical masks work fine for that.
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Aug 22, 2021 12:02
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Any reading suggestions for starting potty training?
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Aug 22, 2021 18:35
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