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Jim tells Dwight that sandworms hate erratic walking so he must always step with a perfect rhythm
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Sep 19, 2021 04:01
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| # ? May 14, 2024 16:23 |
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Jim replaces himself and the entire office, save for Dwight, with the same Asian actor.
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Sep 19, 2021 04:09
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Dwight shows up to work but nobody believes it's Dwight. Dwight looks in the mirror and realizes Jim has replaced him with an asian man!
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Sep 19, 2021 04:10
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Applewhite posted:Dwight shows up to work but nobody believes it's Dwight. Dwight looks in the mirror and realizes Jim has replaced him with an asian man! When he gets home, all his pictures are of him as an Asian man.
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Sep 19, 2021 04:18
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Jim makes Dwight believe he is racist Angela Zig Heils and is taken away. Meredith is taken to the showers
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Sep 19, 2021 04:28
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Dwight reveals that he won an episode of Guts as a child and when Jim yells him to prove it, Dwight brings a piece of the agrocrag. Jim says this is an obvious lie because the agrocrag got bigger every season, and how would that be possible if they were giving away pieces of it
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Sep 19, 2021 05:12
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Jim throws a baseball through the "unbreakable" front window of Dwight's new Tesla truck. The truck immediately catches fire and starts driving itself, seeking out and ramming into the nearest firetruck. Elon Musk sues Dwight for defamation.
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Sep 19, 2021 18:56
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Jim throws a football and breaks Dwight's nose right before the big dance!
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Sep 19, 2021 19:07
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Jim throws a football directly through Dwight's head. "Touchdown!" shouts Jim.
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Sep 19, 2021 19:10
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Jim becomes a true Alpha, with huge rippling muscles, a powerful brain, and a big ding dong. Men and women alike fawn over his alphaness. But Jim becomes more and more alpha until he is 14' tall, completely invulnerable, and can fly and becomes a psycho despot ruling over the earth because nobody can possibly out Alpha him. But Dwight knows that you don't use an alpha to beat an alpha. Using his sigma mentality and a balldo he easily sneaks up and makes tender ball-love to Jim, who deflates like a balloon as he loses his alphaness, making Dwight the new alpha. In the real world Dwight is naked in the bathroom with mannequin he found screaming "I am the sigma! I am the alpha! Take that, Jim!" In the interview room Jim admits he has been spiking Dwight's coffee with increasing amounts of LSD to induce a hallucinogenic meltdown but he has no idea where the alpha stuff came from.
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Sep 19, 2021 19:17
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Jim has a poo poo on Dwight’s desk. We think he’s mugging the camera but he’s straining real bad poor jim 
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Sep 19, 2021 22:52
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Jim gives Dwight two tickets to SAW. Dwight discovers too late they’re tickets to see the actual murderous puppet and not the film of the same name.
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Sep 20, 2021 14:20
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Jim asks Dwight if he's ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon. Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned. Dwight looks confused as Jim continues, asking if Dwight can sing with all the voices of the mountain, or if Dwight can paint with all the colors of the wind. He repeats that last part for added emphasis. When Dwight calmly says "No, I can't." Jim sics a rabid raccoon on him.
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Sep 20, 2021 14:42
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Jim shoots Dwight's parents dead in an alleyway, just after the Schrute's had been to see a Zorro film. Dwight fails to become a superhero in response.
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Sep 20, 2021 23:33
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Meeting with an important client at a fancy steakhouse, Jim rudely summons the waiter and asks loud enough for people at other tables to hear "excuse me, but my friend here asked for ketchup for his steak a while ago. Could you please bring some?"
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Sep 20, 2021 23:37
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Twenty-five years after the end of "The American Office" Dwight's daughter brings her new college boyfriend home for break. Dwight is horrified when Jim walks through the door - Jim, if he hadn't aged a day. Jim grins at Dwight and says "nice to see you too buddy! I'm loving your daughter!"
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Sep 20, 2021 23:45
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Jim cracks the secret of a billionaire mindset, with 4 am cold showers, and an alpha handshake. He uses his new power to hustle & grind his way to the CEO of Dunder Mifflin.
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Sep 20, 2021 23:53
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Applewhite posted:Jim writes a whole fantasy story just so he can make a "balloon boy" gag. Dwight is a good sport about this though, and shares this link with the office. Since the rest of the office is at least (mostly) professional to each other, they share some lighthearted fun between them. Jim is humiliated because he wanted to make fun of Dwight! Meredith has to be taken to the library. ty for sharing this, btw that thread is excellent
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Sep 21, 2021 03:36
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Unexpectedly and out of nowhere, Jim vows to never prank Dwight again - “even in alternate timelines and/or universes”. Dwight keeps expecting the other shoe to drop, but it never does. That’s it. Dwight asks aloud whether the lack of closure counts as a prank, but Jim informs him that, no, it does not.
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Sep 21, 2021 04:19
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Unfortunately that Jim was one of the alternative Jims that was not in contact with the Jimverse so his agreement was non-binding. Meanwhile, Spider-Jim from Scranton 616 sprays webs in Dwight's rear end in a top hat so Dwight can't poop.
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Sep 21, 2021 04:31
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David Wallace and a few other corporate bigwigs are coming to visit the Scranton branch. Michael asks Jim to handle booking a business lunch with them. Michael asks that he keep it moderately priced, but impressive enough to "wow those corporate suits." Jim takes the team from corporate to Chuck E Cheese, constantly saying "This is gonna blow your socks off." This Chuck E Cheese seems different, however. David notices that there's the classic animatronics located around the restaurant, something that he hasn't seen in at least 10 years. All of the games seem outdated, too. But David dismisses this, realizing that retro gaming is really popular right now. "Take your shoes off before you go in the ballpit, okay?" says Jim, smiling smugly as he does. "Don't worry ladies, I won't steal your shoes like Dwight Schrute does." Corporate declines the offer, but Jim hopes in the ballpit anyway while yelling "Wheeeee!" The rest of the group awkwardly sits at a table and orders food from a waiter who looks extremely unhappy to be there. The food arrives while Jim is still playing in the ballpit, but Jim quickly rushes up to the table, hand in hand with a child. David asks if that's one of Jim's kids, and Jim just quizzically says "What the heck are you talking about, butt face?" This causes the child to erupt in raucous laughter and start chanting "BUTT FACE! BUTT FACE!". Dwight and the unknown child scarf down an entire pizza while laughing, then chug a full pitcher of soda before running back to the arcade. David places a call back to the Scranton office asking to be picked up, and Michael sends Dwight to do just that. Dwight shows up and assures corporate that this is all "a poorly planned joke", and that Jim is "just playing around." Jim grabs Dwight and very calmly apologizes, then says he has no idea his "little prank" was going to bother people so much. He then calls over the previously unknown child and introduces him to David and the rest of the group as his son, Bofa. Dwight, who was barely paying attention, suddenly perks up at this and tells everyone to run for their lives. He starts rushing for the door. "Bofa?" says David Wallace, innocently. "Bofa deez nuts!" says Jim as the child explodes, taking out the entire restaurant, Dunder Mifflin Corporate, and Jim. Dwight has managed to reach the parking lot and is merely knocked senseless by the force of the explosion. He looks at the burning building and sees Jim casually walking through the flames towards him. "Dwight, can you drive me back to the office? I had given my keys to David Wallace, now they're all melted." Dwight and Jim drive back to the office in silence.
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Sep 21, 2021 13:01
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"Where's Dwight?" Jim asks Pam, "He still can't be in the bathroom!" Jim goes into the men's restroom and finds Dwight sitting on the toilet, drenched in sweat and clearly terrified. "Uhh, everything ok?" "No, Jim, everything is NOT ok," Dwight says as he turns the roll of toilet paper on the wall and a message is scrawled in black ink on it: 'BOOM You're Dead!' Jim quickly checks under the toilet and sees a bomb under where Dwight is seated. "I don't see anything, pretty sure it's just a prank," he says before leaving the restroom with Dwight breathing a sigh of relief. A second later the detonation rips the scranton office in half, killing hundreds. Jim gives a look to Pam and she laughs.
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Sep 21, 2021 13:33
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There's a horror movie convention coming to the Scranton area and Dwight is incredibly excited to meet Tom Atkins, star of such films as "Night of the Creeps" and "Maniac Cop". He even purchases a special VIP ticket to ensure he gets a signed photograph with Mr. Atkins. Jim hears Dwight excitedly telling Angela about all of this, then flies into a rage. He begins calling multiple customers, pretending to be Dwight, and cancelling their accounts. He also logs into the Dunder Mifflin corporate site and just starts wiping out shared files, deleting hundreds of hours of work. The entire company is forced to work on a Saturday to "get things back to normal", and Dwight is furious at Jim for doing this. "I'm sick of this poo poo, Jim. You get everything handed to you. When Jeff Dunham is in town you always leave work early to get dressed up. When the McRib is back, you take a month off to just eat McRibs all day. When the planets align a certain way you get to turn into a were-bear and walk around the woods for a day. When do I get something I want, you stupid rear end in a top hat? When do I get one TINY thing?" Jim is flabbergasted, then says he had no idea Dwight felt this way. He apologizes, says he'll cover for him, and gets Michael to agree to let Dwight leave. Dwight quickly rushes out of the office, into the parking lot, and zooms across town to meet Tom Atkins. A few minutes later, the front door opens and Tom Atkins walks in. "Hey, is there a Dwight Schrute here? I heard he was my biggest fan! I've got a signed copy of Halloween 3 here for him." Jim stands up and says "Dwight isn't here. He's kind of a weird prankster, he does stuff like this a lot. I'm sorry he wasted your time, sir. Maybe I can make it up to you by showing you around Scranton?" Jim takes Tom Atkins on a tour around Scranton and makes sure to take hundreds of photographs of them having fun together. When Dwight returns to work on Monday, the photos are all laying on his desk.
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Sep 21, 2021 13:51
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Jim cuts off his own head and replaces it with a watermelon. By this time, the office gang is so tired of his shenanigans that they don’t say a word and the morning proceeds as usual. Without any obvious mouth, the watermelon somehow emits perfect sound, so Jim can somehow “see”, “hear” and “talk” from the watermelon. At noon, Jim pushes back his chair with a weary sigh and walks back to the break room. He lays his head down on the table, and begins carving it with a large knife. At the first cut his whole body flinches, and Jim seems to muffle a gasp of pain, then, slowly, beings to carve his watermelon head again. By the end of the cut he is clearly whimpering with agony, and a small group of onlookers watch in muted horror. Jim cuts another slice, apparently equally painful. “You can stop anytime,” Dwight says, breaking the silence, “I’m pranked. You got me. “ “Can’t,” grunts Jim between mutters of pain. “Prank.” He finishes cutting his own head into watermelon slices. By the end, Jim is howling in agony. Finally, it’s done. He stands straight, collects the slices onto a big platter, and offers them to all his coworkers. They all decline. At the end of the day, none of the watermelon has been eaten, and the entire thing is dumped in the trash. An essentially headless Jim whistles as he walks to his car. The next day, Dwight arrives to the office first. He notices a small dark trial, which leads to the break room. Ants. Thousands of ants have gotten in overnight, and they’ll be a real pain to get rid of. Dwight turns around to see Jim standing silently behind him, today with a pumpkin for a head. Both of them stand silently looking at each other for a moment. Jim lifts a knife to the face of his pumpkin, crudely carves a smirking mouth, and turns toward the camera.
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Sep 21, 2021 14:00
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Dwight gets a call at home. "Hey, is this Pizza Hut?" Dwight explains that they've actually called Schrute Farms, then gives them the correct number for Pizza Hut. A few minutes later, Dwight gets a similar call. He redirects them again but begins to suspect that Jim has somehow listed his phone number as a Pizza Hut. Then, there's a knock on the door. Dwight answers it, and it's a family of 4. "Can we get a table for 4 please? Your door was locked." Dwight explains that this isn't a restaurant, it's a farm, but he'd be happy to direct them to a local eatery or even cook something for them if they're in need. The family storms off muttering "worst Pizza Hut ever". Dwight steps outside and sees that, somehow, the house has been rebuilt into a Pizza Hut. The entire farm has been paved over and turned into a parking lot. The barn and silo are both gone, but a giant Pizza Hut sign stands in the parking lot roughly where the silo used to be. More cars are pulling in now, craving Pizza Hut. Dwight rushes to them and explains that this is a home and farm, and that someone has played an awful prank on them all. He then heads back into the house, only to find that the interior is a Pizza Hut. He can even smell the distinct Pizza Hut smell. Several pizzas sit on the buffet counter that used to be his antique dining room table. Where did all of this come from? How did Jim do this so quickly? Across town, Pam yells at Jim that their bank accounts don't match up again, and that they're about to lose the house. They're so far behind on bills and she's tired of having to explain to their accountant about Jim's "pranking budget". The kids start screaming and Pam realizes that Jim's snakes are loose again, the ones he was going to put in Dwight's desk next week. 37 of the deadliest snakes in the world, and Jim's been waving his nude rear end at them every night to "piss them off". "Hey, hon? Let's take the kids out for Pizza Hut tonight!" Pam just stares at Jim and says they can't afford to eat out right now. "Don't worry. I know the owner." Jim mugs for the camera as Pam struggles to balance 2 screaming children and a broom that she's using to shoo away a cobra. Back at Schrute Farms, Dwight tries to tear down part of the Pizza Hut facade, but it starts bleeding when he does. He recoils in horror as he realizes that the building is looking at him.
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Sep 21, 2021 15:05
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Jim carefully balances a sharpened pencil upright on it's eraser. "Dwight, would you like to see a magic trick?" Jim asks coyly, giving a real poo poo eating grin to the film crew. Dwight, who was on a phone call, waves Jim away and returns to confirming the order. Jim makes a sad look at the cameras, like a floppy-haired clown bum without the makeup. "I'd like to see a magic trick." Says Creed from out of nowhere, startling Jim. Jim is red in the face mad at being surprised and quickly stands up and grabs Creed by the back of the head and slams his face down onto the pencil. "I made the pencil disappear!" He shouts angrily. Cut to the interview room where Creed, pencil still in his right eye, calmly eats a watermelon rind and says "Eh, he's no Penn & Teller."
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Sep 21, 2021 15:40
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Jim reboots the show as a more modern sitcom, in which Dwight has chronic depression. Meredith is taken to the hospital, where she dies.
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Sep 21, 2021 23:22
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Jim farts so hard the entire atmosphere of the Earth turns to Jim's farts. This is Dwight's life now. Breathing Jim's farts.
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Sep 21, 2021 23:44
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Muppet Jim and Pam heckle Dwight all day from behind the reception desk.
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Sep 21, 2021 23:44
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The anesthesiologist puts the mask over Dwight's face. Dwight begins counting backwards and idly wonders what life will be like without an appendix. The last thing he sees is the head surgeon lean overall pull down his mask...it's Jim! He mugs and winks at Dwight. Then the world goes black.
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Sep 22, 2021 01:35
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Jim sends in a myth to mythbusters. The myth is that Dwight has a indestructible house and wants Kari Byron to kiss his best friend Jim.
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Sep 22, 2021 03:47
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The day after the tenth or so time that Jim makes a joke about Dwight's grandfather being a Nazi, Dwight solemnly enters and sits down at his desk carrying a folder. Inside are photos, letters, newspaper clippings, and official documents. Dwight spends the next hour showing them to Jim, and the growing circle of coworkers looking on, and telling a story. Dwight tells Jim about his grandfather, who helped his family and three other families escape from Germany as the Nazis rose to power. He stayed behind, leading a resistance movement until he was caught and executed by the fascists. Dwight was named after this man, who he considers a hero. And every year, on his late grandfather's birthday, he takes a moment to contemplate the man he never knew, the quiet hero that saved so many lives, and whose sacrifice made it possible for Dwight to be here today. The next day, Michael orders everyone in to the conference room, first thing. Jim somehow convinced him to make everybody watch Hogan's Heroes all day. "This is an incredible insult to the people who died fighting the Nazis," says Dwight. Jim throws popcorn at him and shouts, "Down in front!"
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Sep 22, 2021 14:13
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Jim pays an actor to pretend to be a member of the Saudi royal family, drive a fancy car up to Dwight's house, and ask Dwight to become his husband. Dwight says that he is flattered but doesn't condone the human rights violations of the Saudi Royal Family and would only consider a romantic relationship with someone who feels the same way. The actor is forced into an awkward improv moment, unsure of exactly how to approach this. Dwight offers to discuss his views further with the man over a bottle of beet wine or, if he would prefer, non-alcoholic beet juice. The actor accepts and, 3 hours later, has admitted the prank to Dwight and become great friends with him. Dwight bids him adieu and gives him the business card of an agent friend of his, noting that the actor has the chops to make it in Hollywood. Dwight wishes him good luck and says he hopes to hear from him soon. Jim has been recording everything and uses selective editing, body doubles, and overdubbing dialogue to create a completely different series of events. He uploads this video as "GOLDDIGGER PRANK GOES WILD - CHECK IT OUT!" and it gets 34 million views. Jim mugs for the camera as those 34 million viewers assume Dwight put on a pair of Daisy Dukes, got in the car with the actor, and then gave him a BJ in the parking lot of a Costco.
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Sep 22, 2021 15:04
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Dwight casually asks Jim for the paperwork on an order that was processed last week. In actuality, Jim has been falsifying records of his sales for the past three months because he "needed more time for pranks", and is now very close to being discovered because none of his accounts are adding up. In a frenzy and with a suspicious squeak to his voice, he says "Sure thing, Dwight! I... uh... just need to find it! It's uh... buried under all the other sales records I've made this month." Dwight nods and goes back to his work trying to balance the month's accounts. "Sure, Jim," he replies, "Just get me the sales record when you ferret it out." The next morning, Jim fills his Jetta's trunk, passenger seat, entire rear row up to the ceiling with caged ferrets. The musk stench is incredible, and Jim gags while driving to work. He shows up late, and Dwight asks if he's found the sales paperwork yet. Jim's eyes go wide and he speaks with unusual rapidity, "Wow buddy, you just aren't gonna let that one go are you, wow, well, okay, sure. I mean, it sounds important, I guess, and sure, you of course need it." Jim takes a breath. "Perhaps you could come out to my car? Help me.... ferret out... the papers?" Dwight shakes his head. "The records were duplicated automatically. Accounting has a copy. Can you just look there?" Jim's stomach turns and his veins run cold. He didn't realize there were other records. With a forced smirk but waves of fear coursing through his body, Jim numbly walks over to accounting. He spends three hours searching for the "missing" files with Angela and Oscar. They can't figure out why Jim's papers are missing, but all the others seem to be properly stored. Jim heads back to Dwight, who starts to pull open filing drawers and works with Jim to find the missing sales records. Jim suggests a few more times that they might be in his car, but Dwight dismisses this. Finally, Dwight loops in Michael about the apparent paperwork loss, who in turn reports it up to Corporate. Jim's house of cards is now inevitably going to topple. The day is over, and everyone wasted it looking for non-existent papers to confirm Jim's falsified sales records. Jim knows that he's about to be fired, or worse, as soon as the deception is uncovered. When he sits down in his car, the stench of musk is overwhelming. The heat in the closed car also killed all of the ferrets.
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Sep 22, 2021 15:51
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Jim drives a tank through Dwight's house, firing indiscriminately with the cannon in his neighborhood, waking dwight in terror from his bed. "What the hell are you doing!?" He shrieks Jim mugs the camera and says,"well tanks for nothing!"
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Sep 22, 2021 15:57
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Jim comes into the office dressed as Napoleon and starts "liberating" the desks of Dwight and Dwight and Andy by stealing the staplers, pens, and other office supplies. He sings "Veillons au salut de l'Empire" with perfect tune, Pam clapping along with glee. At 11, the whole office shuffles into the conference room to celebrate Toby's birthday. Jim was in charge of getting the ice cream. "What kind of ice cream did you get?" Dwight asks. Jim looks down at his costume and smirks.
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Sep 22, 2021 16:26
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Michael discovers that he can send gifs through email and spends a week spamming every single one he can get his freakish fingers on regardless of whether or not they are relevant or even interesting, and only ones from the mid 90s. Hundreds of emails every day, sometimes dozens per hour, of spinning skulls, under construction signs, dancing babies, and apes scratching their butt and falling over when they sniff their finger. Finally having enough Jim grabs a pair of scissors and hides it behind his back as he walks into Michael's office. "Oh, hey! Jim! I just found this great new moving picture of a smiley face man and he, haha, he's saying 'I love u' and a little heart comes out?" Michael erupts with uproarious laughter at his own banal description. "Yeah, that's great buddy, hey did I drop something when I was in here last? Lemme, lemme just look around down here for a second." Jim crouches down as if he were looking for some lost object, grabs the Ethernet cable to Michael's computer, pulls out the scissors, and then uses them to shear through Michael's Achilles tendon. Michael collapses to the ground in agony and Jim mugs for the camera as he slyly slips back to his desk. "Oh god, it must have been a praying mantis!" yells Michael, who's biggest fear is his stupid belief that mantises have swords for arms. Hard cut. Who What Now fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Sep 22, 2021 |
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Sep 22, 2021 19:42
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Jim shrinks himself down to the size of a blood clot and hides in Dwight's sandwich.
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Sep 23, 2021 04:37
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Jim calls the police on Dwight, making numerous frivolous domestic violence complaints under a variety of aliases. Jim is found out and arrested. Jim smirks in his mugshot.
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Sep 23, 2021 15:02
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| # ? May 14, 2024 16:23 |
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"Say the line, Dwight." Actor John Krasinski is holding a gun to Rain Wilson's head. Wilson is on his knees, begging John to tell him what is going on. All around them is a crude remake of the Dunder Mifflin office. The walls are made of scrap corrugated metal and the "desks" are in reality just boxes with names like "Dwight's Desk" and "Kevin's Desk" written on them. "Wh...why are you doing this John?!" Rainn cries to him. "MY NAME IS NOT JOHN!" Krasinski flips the pistol around and whips Dwight, who collapses on the floor. Behind him, a woman wails. "SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP!'" He whips around and points the gun at Jenna Fischer, who is holding her face in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably. "SHUT YOUR MOUTH PAM BEASLEY OR HELP ME GOD." "You just broke his face!" Protested Brian Bumgartner. This is met with a shot in the arm, and he collapses to the floor yelling. "ANYONE ELSE WANT SOME? KEVIN'S FAT rear end ABSORBED THE BULLET BUT I KNOW YOURS WON'T!" He points it towards Angela Kinsey, who's hiding under a cardboard desk. All around him people are terrified at the man he's become. He's unhinged, delusional. There's no point in trying to understand or comprehend his actions. The camera pans out and we see the office sitting in the conference room, watching the show that Jim Halpert made with just $30 and a can of Four Loko. "So, whatcha think?" Jim asks. "I preferred Threat Level Midnight to this junk," Stanley deadpanned. Jim mugs for the camera as the words "Threat Level Midnight" activates a deadly gas that quickly suffocates all life inside the room.
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Sep 23, 2021 15:13
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