PYF Funny Pictures: on the paradox of meat

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Evilreaver: Feb 26, 2007; GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!; Dinosaur Gum

bessantj posted:

Watching an episode of Elementary and apparently this was checkmate:

Is it not? The black king is checked by both the white queen and knight and can't escape both at once, nor can a black piece block/capture both at once as far as I can see

E: I mean, black got hard wrecked but that happens to the best of us

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:01

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# ? May 16, 2024 06:23

Stexils: Jun 5, 2008

thats the kind of checkmate that happens between two kids playing the game for the first time

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:02

lord funk: Feb 16, 2004

Yeah that's checkmate.

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:02

Evilreaver: Feb 26, 2007; GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!; Dinosaur Gum

Stexils posted:

thats the kind of checkmate that happens between two kids playing the game for the first time

Scholar's mate can happen to anyone, especially to people who think they're too smart to fall for it; it's a very Dunning-Kruger way to get your rear end handed to you

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:05

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Evilreaver posted:

Is it not? The black king is checked by both the white queen and knight and can't escape both at once, nor can a black piece block/capture both at once as far as I can see

E: I mean, black got hard wrecked but that happens to the best of us

It is, it was more "imagine that game."

EDIT: Could be one of those "funnier to me than anyone else" moments.

bessantj has a new favorite as of 22:19 on Sep 28, 2021

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:06

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

Looks like checkmate to me?

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:07

Stexils: Jun 5, 2008

Evilreaver posted:

Scholar's mate can happen to anyone, especially to people who think they're too smart to fall for it; it's a very Dunning-Kruger way to get your rear end handed to you

e: nv

Stexils has a new favorite as of 22:28 on Sep 28, 2021

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:21

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

the absolute fuckibg state of this chess game. loving bullshit

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:29

Bug Squash: Mar 18, 2009

I'm no chessman, but I don't think it's possible to get double checked by any legal move outside of some kind of castling nonsense.

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:33

Evilreaver: Feb 26, 2007; GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!; Dinosaur Gum

Bug Squash posted:

I'm no chessman, but I don't think it's possible to get double checked by any legal move outside of some kind of castling nonsense.

the knight could have been in the queen's way; moving the knight forward to check the king lets the queen check

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:37

chglcu: May 17, 2007; I'm so bored with the USA.

Bug Squash posted:

I'm no chessman, but I don't think it's possible to get double checked by any legal move outside of some kind of castling nonsense.

Simple example:

code:

[K][ ][ ]
[ ][ ][x]
[N][ ][ ]
[Q][ ][ ]

That knight (N) can move to the x to expose the check from the queen while placing the king in check itself

chglcu has a new favorite as of 22:42 on Sep 28, 2021

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:39

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

White played like a competent beginner. They developed their knights, got the queen on the 2 row, didn't overdevelop one piece. Black played like a child who just learned how pieces move, charging their bishop unsupported then immediately trading it for a less developed piece.

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:39

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

P sure the white king is fine, guys.

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:49

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Cocaine Bear posted:

P sure the white king is fine, guys.

Are we still talking about chess?

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:51

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Cocaine Bear posted:

P sure the white king is fine, guys.

he has diabetes.

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:53

chglcu: May 17, 2007; I'm so bored with the USA.

The white king had a heart attack on the toilet.

# ? Sep 28, 2021 22:56

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Bug Squash posted:

I'm no chessman, but I don't think it's possible to get double checked by any legal move outside of some kind of castling nonsense.

double checks, like throwing car batteries into the ocean, are a real thrill and perfectly legal; here is an example of how that game might have gone

https://lichess.org/OWg2GHdN

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:01

Bug Squash: Mar 18, 2009

chglcu posted:

Simple example:
code:
[K][ ][ ]
[ ][ ][x]
[N][ ][ ]
[Q][ ][ ]
That knight (N) can move to the x to expose the check from the queen while placing the king in check itself

Ah poo poo yeah, sorry all.

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:09

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

Sorry, i didn't follow any of that. Why can't the king just move like two spaces diagonally?

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:20

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

"Although the King is the most important piece on the board, he moves very slowly. He can only move one square in any direction: forward, backward, left, right, or diagonally."

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:26

damn horror queefs: Oct 14, 2005; say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

If I were the king I would simply step off from the chess board and dominate my enemies from afar

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:34

burexas.irom: Oct 29, 2007; I disapprove of what you say, and I will defend your death because you have no right to say it!

Who made that idiot king

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:35

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

Why does the king, the largest piece, not simply eat the other pieces?

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:37

Stexils: Jun 5, 2008

victory in chess comes from a fat idiot monarch surviving alone the mutual annihilation of two armies. chess warned us about world war 1 but we were too arrogant to listen

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:46

The General: Mar 4, 2007

https://youtu.be/YgeYScYe8wI

# ? Sep 28, 2021 23:59

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

Is it not? Queen can take the king, same if it moves forward, moving diagonal is at risk from the knight. Knight already had the king, so blocking the queen won't do anything, and ditto for taking either the queen or knight

E: behold me not seeing that another page exists

VVV: I'll have to remember that maneuver for my next game

Sentient Data has a new favorite as of 00:41 on Sep 29, 2021

# ? Sep 29, 2021 00:33

Zetsubou-san: Jan 28, 2015; Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2xNlzsnPCQ

# ? Sep 29, 2021 00:37

Kheldarn: Feb 17, 2011

# ? Sep 29, 2021 01:14

Spyderizer: Feb 18, 2004

Black queen could move to block white queen though couldn't they?

# ? Sep 29, 2021 01:21

DyneAvenger: Aug 26, 2005; Bru-Tang Clan member:
Nose Face Killah

Spyderizer posted:

Black queen could move to block white queen though couldn't they?

And the knight would take king

# ? Sep 29, 2021 01:23

Cyrano4747: Sep 25, 2006; Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

White knight should just call an audible.

# ? Sep 29, 2021 01:39

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

# ? Sep 29, 2021 01:41

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Trabant posted:

I don't see anything. Is there something I'm missing?

# ? Sep 29, 2021 01:44

-Zydeco-: Nov 12, 2007

https://twitter.com/Skweezy/status/1442912146178777092

# ? Sep 29, 2021 02:21

cult_hero: Jul 10, 2001

drat horror queefs posted:

If I were the king I would simply step off from the chess board and dominate my enemies from afar

Yeah, the first move should be to send the royals into exile and wage a guerilla war against the occupying forces.

# ? Sep 29, 2021 03:02

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

jesus WEP posted:

double checks, like throwing car batteries into the ocean, are a real thrill and perfectly legal; here is an example of how that game might have gone

https://lichess.org/OWg2GHdN

Please don't promote lich propaganda.

# ? Sep 29, 2021 03:07

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

# ? Sep 29, 2021 04:04

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

"Although the King is the most important piece on the board, he moves very slowly. He can only move one square in any direction: forward, backward, left, right, or diagonally."

As a kid I always assumed this was meant to represent the fact that kings were always wearing lots of jewelry and those big heavy capes. :kiddo: