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emfive posted:I think you're looking for rural England found the brit
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Oct 3, 2021 19:18
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Red Baron posted:here’s my tip on trying to get a religious bae or beaux from someone raised in the depths of the south: just fake it. juuuuuuust fake it. my step grandpa dave lived to a 100, was the most selfish and perfectly capitalist man to ever live, and when he was looking death in the face he responded by reading stories about how humanity was going to run out of water and poo poo because in the absence of belief in an afterlife his response was to think humanity would barely outlive him. i loving loved dave so much, he ruled one time when i was in 3rd grade he gave me a bunch of shotgun shells and i shoved them into my backpack and a hall monitor found them the next day and was like "Oh, well, he said he doesnt have a gun so i guess this is cool"
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Oct 3, 2021 19:20
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cumshitter posted:my step grandpa dave lived to a 100, was the most selfish and perfectly capitalist man to ever live, and when he was looking death in the face he responded by reading stories about how humanity was going to run out of water and poo poo because in the absence of belief in an afterlife his response was to think humanity would barely outlive him. i loving loved dave so much, he ruled I’m gonna drink a beer for Dave, he sounds like a poster we could respect
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Oct 3, 2021 19:21
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england is full of wankers that have never ONCE elected Donald j Trump to the presidency of the united states of america
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Oct 3, 2021 19:22
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ty cumshitter i will try that
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Oct 3, 2021 19:22
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Aardvark! posted:england is full of wankers that have never ONCE elected Donald j Trump to the presidency of the united states of america BoJo is close enough for government work and they seem a hearty folk that can appreciate the simple things like a bit of jam or a bowl of eels
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Oct 3, 2021 19:23
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Oct 3, 2021 19:23
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Good Soldier Svejk posted:Never been but that sounds like exactly my scene, or at least the scene I want right now. Trad English pubs are often split up into two or more rooms. To an American, it's completely mystifying, since usually the same bar serves the different rooms. Often there's a small closed-off room called a "snug". What the etiquette is for how you decide where to go is completely unknown to me, and I know a lot about English beer and pubs. It seems to be some indescribable set of rules that float around in the air. Good pubs (and, btw, it should come as no surprise that there's a "Good Pub Guide" that is basically the Michelin Guide of pubs, published by a massive quasi-political organization of beer drinkers) have little or no music. Or, if there's music, it's acoustic trad instruments, or maybe an amplified soloist. They don't usually thinks of pubs as music venues.
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Oct 3, 2021 19:23
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Red Baron posted:here’s my tip on trying to get a religious bae or beaux from someone raised in the depths of the south: just fake it. juuuuuuust fake it. literally teh plot of christian mingle the movie
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Oct 3, 2021 19:24
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my favorite story about dave is how back in the 50's he and his buddy were flying around in a plane when they had to make an emergency landing so they landed in some rear end in a top hat farmer's corn field they land and the guy runs out and says "Are you with the army!?!?" ".....yes?" "Well, lemme get my tractor and I'll tear down that fence over yonder for you so you can take off!" "Thank you, citizen." so this hayseed tears down his fence so my rich rear end in a top hat step-grandpa can take off, and as they're lifting off the ground Dave looks out the window and this rear end in a top hat who destroyed his own property to help him is standing on the seat of his tractor saluting him and dave told me he'd never laughed harder in his life
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Oct 3, 2021 19:24
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RIP Dabe
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Oct 3, 2021 19:26
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Honestly if sitting in a pub that looks like something out of a Masterpiece Theatre production is your thing, then they have precisely that kind of poo poo all over the place. Some of them can only be reached on foot via public hiking trails. We went to a pub for lunch in Hastings a long time ago because the Good Beer Guide said it was old (like 16th century) and also that there were glass displays of mummified cats on the wall, I poo poo you not, 100% accurate.
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Oct 3, 2021 19:26
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emfive posted:Trad English pubs are often split up into two or more rooms. To an American, it's completely mystifying, since usually the same bar serves the different rooms. Often there's a small closed-off room called a "snug". What the etiquette is for how you decide where to go is completely unknown to me, and I know a lot about English beer and pubs. It seems to be some indescribable set of rules that float around in the air. in ireland it was explained to me that one side of the pub is the pub for like family dining and chilling out and the other is the bar for pounding beers and screaming at football. like at a chili's but don't tell them that.
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Oct 3, 2021 19:26
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cumshitter posted:my favorite story about dave is how back in the 50's he and his buddy were flying around in a plane when they had to make an emergency landing so they landed in some rear end in a top hat farmer's corn field lol
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Oct 3, 2021 19:27
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Der Meister posted:found the brit ironically I am almost 100% Catholic Irish and I get all stabby when I listen to the Wolfe Tones etc
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Oct 3, 2021 19:27
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that milton berle workout on the new rlm looks nuts
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Oct 3, 2021 19:29
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Frances Nurples posted:in ireland it was explained to me that one side of the pub is the pub for like family dining and chilling out and the other is the bar for pounding beers and screaming at football. like at a chili's but don't tell them that. Oh yea the Irish have their own set of rules, we went into a place in a tiny town (Partry I think) and it was crowded and they served us a fantastically good dinner, but they had to do it in the main room and they were freaked out like we were going to hate them forever and curse their families, and they absolutely insisted that we come back so we could eat in the dining room. (We did) There is something I could say about why Ireland is a nice place to visit involving much of the staff that works at pubs and restaurants and shops there but I won't.
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Oct 3, 2021 19:30
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conrad hilton: "I told you I wanted HIlton hotels on the moon." me: Yeah, and you were thinking too small. How about Hilton hotels... on the sun??? *pulls back ad sheet to show a happy concierge on fire and melting as he carries a family's bags from their car, his skeleton visible and charred*
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Oct 3, 2021 19:31
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Frances Nurples posted:in ireland it was explained to me that one side of the pub is the pub for like family dining and chilling out and the other is the bar for pounding beers and screaming at football. like at a chili's but don't tell them that. lmfao
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Oct 3, 2021 19:31
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drat dave ruled. flew a single engine cessna until he was 90 and the Federal Aviation Administration told him: "You are too old to fly alone" so he said gently caress that, and then he mailed them a bunch of loose shotgun shells. that was kind of his thing, passing out shotgun shells as if they were breath mints
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Oct 3, 2021 19:32
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Lol we went to another pub (Ennis, Ireland) because my parents in the hotel just wanted to watch Coronation Street and we were like "nope" so we walked a block to a pub and went in and everybody (everybody) in the pub was watching Coronation Street and I couldn't even get a beer.
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Oct 3, 2021 19:33
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Bulgakov posted:that milton berle workout on the new rlm looks nuts There was a whole genre of comedy workout VHS tapes - if you want to know what it's like to feel your brain leak out your ears, see how far you can get into Larry "Bud" Melman's Couch Potato Workout https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxuEWd1EjB8
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Oct 3, 2021 19:34
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emfive posted:ironically I am almost 100% Catholic Irish and I get all stabby when I listen to the Wolfe Tones etc 'Twas a big Saxon captain was braggin' that day, "Just give me an hour, and I'll blow them away!" Then a big Mauser bullet got stuck in his yaw, And he died of lead poisn'in, For Erin go Bragh
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Oct 3, 2021 19:35
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unmute 
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Oct 3, 2021 19:40
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yikes
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Oct 3, 2021 19:41
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cumshitter posted:conrad hilton: "I told you I wanted HIlton hotels on the moon." *Ali Gishly* yeah but wot if you landed there at night
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Oct 3, 2021 19:41
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cumshitter posted:my favorite story about dave is how back in the 50's he and his buddy were flying around in a plane when they had to make an emergency landing so they landed in some rear end in a top hat farmer's corn field Please stop lying to the thread.
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Oct 3, 2021 19:44
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there was a story a few weeks back in the r/relationships thread about some rear end in a top hat who'd gotten successful enough at his job to get an office and he wanted to cosplay madmen so he bought a bottle of nice wehiskey. and then he would offer clients a drink at, like, 10 AM in the morning and be confused by how nobody wanted a stiff one after breakfast and why he had to drink the bottle on his own
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Oct 3, 2021 19:45
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Alec Eiffel posted:Please stop lying to the thread.  cumshitter never lies it's all true
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Oct 3, 2021 19:45
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cumshitter posted:there was a story a few weeks back in the r/relationships thread about some rear end in a top hat who'd gotten successful enough at his job to get an office and he wanted to cosplay madmen so he bought a bottle of nice wehiskey. and then he would offer clients a drink at, like, 10 AM in the morning and be confused by how nobody wanted a stiff one after breakfast and why he had to drink the bottle on his own no lie this was the background context of Bewitched except everybody always wanted a drink
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Oct 3, 2021 19:46
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Alec Eiffel posted:Please stop lying to the thread. dave is as real as fast steve, who is also very real if you wanna believe i made that up hell i'll take the credit for it but dave ruled. he told my grandma that he didnt want to be buried next to her and to bury him next to his first wife, just a perfect rear end in a top hat through and through
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Oct 3, 2021 19:46
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cumshitter posted:there was a story a few weeks back in the r/relationships thread about some rear end in a top hat who'd gotten successful enough at his job to get an office and he wanted to cosplay madmen so he bought a bottle of nice wehiskey. and then he would offer clients a drink at, like, 10 AM in the morning and be confused by how nobody wanted a stiff one after breakfast and why he had to drink the bottle on his own i had a coworker who would offer me nice whiskey when i walked past his office at 8am, sometimes i would oblige if i didn't have a meeting in the morning. he's a great guy and i cant wait to visit him at his new place in palm springs 
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Oct 3, 2021 19:47
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emfive posted:
he's incapable of seeing the truth when he looks at his fiercely hetero son, though
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Oct 3, 2021 19:47
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gently caress SNEEP posted:i had a coworker who would offer me nice whiskey when i walked past his office at 8am, sometimes i would oblige if i didn't have a meeting in the morning. he's a great guy and i cant wait to visit him at his new place in palm springs I worked at a 90s tech startup and one morning all-hands meeting they handed out these little clear thick plastic coffee cups, and within like an hour of the meeting being over there was email flying around about how the cups would get all weird and filled with little cracks if you put whisky in them
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Oct 3, 2021 19:52
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cumshitter’s son has to hide the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue from his old (young) man, because he feels ashamed of his own virile heterosexuality
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Oct 3, 2021 19:55
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my good girl nanners is walking around on the keyboard. also she is straight up my catwife. she hates every boy i bring home and cuddle up on the couch with. like, she will jump up between us and stare the guy down to try and assert her tiny dominance she has learned that she can't hiss at anyone i like and cuddle with so she stopped doing that in front of me. but one of my exes took care of my cats while i was going back home to chicago and apparently she hissed at the ex nonstop even after i showed them where the treats were and told them to give her wet food every night. this fat little piggy of a cat legit sees me as her husband and i love her all the more for it, she hates everyone isnt me and hates everyone who isnt me and gets my attention even more. i love my kitty
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Oct 3, 2021 19:55
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You don’t even own a cat.
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Oct 3, 2021 19:57
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trump
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Oct 3, 2021 19:58
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can’t believe trump has coronavirus eating away at his brain matter for an entire year
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Oct 3, 2021 19:58
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cumshitter posted:my good girl nanners is walking around on the keyboard. also she is straight up my catwife. she hates every boy i bring home and cuddle up on the couch with. like, she will jump up between us and stare the guy down to try and assert her tiny dominance *cumshitter's sonishly* Hell yeah, I like a little pussy too, dad
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Oct 3, 2021 19:59
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